Rageaholic Cinema: THE SCORPION
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- čas přidán 9. 08. 2021
- If you prefer your action stars so bland they manage to be upstaged by their bellbottoms... 1986's Cobra ripoff SCORPION is for you.
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Don't mess with Jeff Foxworthy
"Can you hit the lights "
*smashing sound *
"Can you kill the projector "
*gun shot noise *
That's some Naked Gun sound editing there.
That was my favourite part.
Guy playing flute: absolutely no homoerotic undertones at all.
I think this movie would actually be worse somehow without it
At least it wasn't the skin-flute
@@josedorsaith5261 Low bar, dude.
It doesn’t help it was almost skin tone
I've watched this already?
Dont care, watching again.
Thank you, I thought I was suffering from some severe deja Vu.
@@GhostLink92 It was probably © striked for the now skipping Scorpions intro.
@@mikeehinger6566
Seriously, who the hell owns the copyright and why aren’t they just as soon throwing it to the wind rather than admit to the embarrassment of having ever owned it? Why would they CARE?
I figured it was Disney for that recorder Star Wars theme. They'll hit you with a strike for just saying "Ewoks in the Forest of Endor" even if it's a reference to my junk.
“That’s some nice flutin boy.”
Movie? Awesome.
Review? Even better.
CZcams? Shitheads.
Reupload? Hundredth time's the charm.
Am I going to watch it again? Hell yes.
Ok he did do this review before? I thought my deja vu was just out of control.
@@simplegarak You are not halucinating.
I don't know if the previous one got copyright strike but I saw that one thrice xP although this is not exactly the same.
@@ReinoldFZ
Who in the feckless hell would WANT to lay claim to this stinker of a copyright?!?!
Hotel? Trivago.
*"Tonny Tullenners dropped Chuck Norris"*
*Steiner:* "that's a lie!"
*Tonny:* "check the numbers"
*Chuck:* "it's true....he must be some kind of genetic freak"
Tell me more about genetic freaks.
@@Rezec75 see: Scott Steiner.
The mid 70s to 80s really were a golden age of action movies
Weren't those decades the golden age of *everything*?
@@MecanicalEnd yes
@@MecanicalEnd not gaming 😎
I'm pretty sure i'm returning my copy of The Scorpion, and demanding the remake with Razor's voice over.
The 80's was the last great decade for American pop culture, although the 90's did have its moments.
I would say early 2000s "even though not everyone likes The Matrix" but when it opened to hipster low energy culture of 2013. It fell flat on its face. And now the government and entertainment industry is actually run by it. Sure there is gold if you seek here and there. But its not nearly as good interms of massive mainstream entertainment value as before 2013. Hopefully people will have enough of low energy potheads, hopefully. And edgelords will rise up again!
Early 2000s pop culture was fun too. Loved the Star Wars prequels, Matrix films, Lord of the Rings films... Malcolm in the Middle.... I think a few years into 2010s we saw the unravelling of society. Seems like 2014 is where we started to see a lot of blatant insanity. And its just spiraled from there to where the world is today.
The only moments the 90s had hung on past the 80s.
Yep the 90s had shitty politics but great sports and some great bands like Alice in Chains,Pantera,Stone Temple Pilots and some classic films too.
And Urkele
Due to this being reuploaded, I shall again posit the following query:
Exactly what drugs were the writers of this movie on when they came to the conclusion that, for this action movie starring a first-time actor with an undeniably legit background as a world-class martial artist, instead of copious action scenes to show off his talents and hide his limitations as a thespian, what it *_really_* needed was a pace so slow continental drift would angrily pass it on the highway and more phone calls than all 5 seasons of The Wire? And as a follow-up, where might I procure some?
tank god its a reupload,i thought i m in time loop again.
@@sasavulic1236 you are still in the time loop
@@FirstSpaceLord o my god not this again.
tfw born too late to experience the 70s and 80s cocaine binges. Why even live?
@@FirstSpaceLord shit....
Scorpions were always known for their phoning abilities.
Not even 5 minutes in and nearly choked laughing so hard 🤣
I had to stop listening. I was walking the beach with earphones in and families enjoying the sun thought I was having a fit.
Razor is always way too funny
🤔 Laughing was the last thing on my mind, as the intensity of the drama and the rock-solid plot had me glued to the screen! I was so engrossed in each and every unpredictable plot twist, that I completely forgot about such things as laughter! This is surely THE BEST movie of all time, right up there with "Surf Nazis Must Die"! 😁
@@HighlanderNorth1 I'd give you 2 likes for that if I could 😂
And I thought this episode is a fever dream, glad to known that I am sane and youtube is beong youtube again.
It kept getting pulled for copyright, apparently. It stayed up on Bitchute, though.
I not sure what beong is but I bet youtube could fucking do it.
Beong? What is that?
Who is copywriting this?
@@asher8754 The guy playing the flute.
This is one of the funniest movie reviews I've even watched. I was on the phone the entire time. Oh wait. I need to make a phone call.
The AI in this movie is indeed programmed by Kojima.
RIP in peace flute dude.
With Superhero movies going the way of the westerns we need an 80s action film renaissance but we all know Hollywood is too pc to bring those films back.
Don't give Hollywood any ideas. They will have those remakes starring 100 pound supermodels or butch ladies who for some unexplained phenomena can take on 200 to 300 pound dudes
California was conservative back then wasnt it? Til 90s hit it
Thanks to Reagan's amnesty bill, California has been blue ever since.
@@jonathanmulondo9206 Yeah I know that.
@@EmergencyChannel I'm pretty sure there's more reasons than that.
"The peel...the curl..."
Can't. Stop. Laughing.
I hear that's a delicacy in the middle east......LMFAO!
"It's hard dying. So feminist"
That's a WEAPONS-grade moustache there, though
Do they pay this man with quarters? They must with this many phone calls.
I'd love to see Razorfist do a series like Sleazy Pictures After Dark (basically Mystery Science Theater 3000 but with way shittier movies)
We ought to petition Redlettermedia to have him guest star on Best of the Worst.
@@MagpieDynamics not going to happen, their politics would get in the way
@@motherurck7542 not if its al gore's movie. Fucking oooaaaffff.
How about the original Night of the Demons
@@motherurck7542 that guy has not been seen since his Twitter rant
Tony Tulleners has the raw animal charisma of a Chia Pet.
‘I just like to be present when things die.’🤣
That was HILARIOUS 😂😂😂
Razor’s comments were hitting so hard, fast, and on point, I thought I was in a fight with Mike Tyson in his prime. Funny as hell. God F’ng Speed!
I love obscure action movies from the 70s and 80s.
So glad to see this back on CZcams. I had to go to Bitchute to find the episode to show it to friends a few weeks ago.
10:25
.."they wanted to kill him"
.."Why???"
The answer should have been..
.."so he would be dead" 😂
We need more of this content. Keep it coming.
I know this is a reupload but damn it! The phone action on this movie makes a tele marketer blush watching this a second time is pure gold
I've watched this video three times now and I keep coming back fo--
Hold on, the phone's ringing.
Almost choked when we hear "line...", perfect.
14:03 Each phone ring. Me imagining coming from a casio keyboard sound effect.
Illicit's great spontaneous laughter.
The Razor cut is definitely the way to watch "The Scorpion."
Movie reviews are back in force, I see. Wondermous.
The lights and killing projector jokes are so damn on point. And so subtle. God. Your channel.
Glad to see you Re-Publish this one.
I just laughed for 33 minutes straight!!!
My wife is calling to have me committed, she can't understand why I am laughing so hard!
😂😂😂😂
🤟🤟🤟🤟 God fuckin speed!!!
Oh shit, it’s back!
Me: This Scorpion guy doesn't sound so tough.
Razor: He dropped Chuck Norris three times in a fair fight.
Me (Falls back in chair lays on floor with feet in the air.) I retract my last comment.
the comment is still here.....
Never judge a tough guy in early 80s in short shorts.
*loud synth sting in the distance*
Competitive karate isnt a fight
08:34 I forgot how much I loved that sound effect.
I hope you keep making these, mate. Theyre brilliant
Daughter and I had some quality family time watching this. Thank you.
This was a fun Rageholic Cinema, great job on the editing/joke Terran.
Thanks to both of you.
New RAGEAHOLIC CINEMA?!?!??!
it must be my birthday. Wait... it's a rerun. :-(
PLEASE GIVE US SOME NEW ONES!!
I would like to see him do one for the Kick Assery that is The Delta Force and Lone Wolf McQuade.
It's back!!! One of the best edited Razor vids!
I was wondering what happened to this review
he said YT took it down without explanation, also said it claimed he did it
@@berserkshirtbear1271 of course they did. Thanks
@@williamcorey4700 np
You should do more of these “mystery science theatre” type shows. Not even being sarcastic I had some damn good laughs, thanks
I almost spewed a mouth full of water all over my desk when that "hit the lights" sound effect played.
Thank you very much for taking the hit for the team in watching/reviewing this dreck...... :-P
The 70's did have a suspiciously large number movies and TV shows with "Car approaches a parking spot" scenes. I'm sure there was a reason beyond needing to stretch the run time and cocaine, but I can't think of a good one.
I remember this one, and not with fondness. Perfect film to rip on. Thank you!
Razor thank you so much for this one I needed the laughs badly and you never disappoint. PLEASE DO THE OCTAGON!!!!
I came for the karate. I stayed for the badass recorder solo.
Thank you for bringing this classic back.
No Bernie Joke? That TCA guy is the spitting image, sounds like him to.
"Bill, will you kill that projector? '
*GUNSHOT
*GOAT DIES
Then I died of laughter.
This was probably one of the finest movie reviews I've seen in a long time. Several times, I found myself yelling "pssst!! ACT!" ala Strange Brew
Phones answered! Cars parked! Mustaches grown! All this and more in the amazing adventures of the... Scorpion?
This movie looks like something Mystery Science Theater 3000 would riff on, and I would totally be there for it. However, Razor, you riffing on it is just as good.❤🦋💜 Love the Game of Thrones theme song......on the flute ffs.🤣
I cant anymore, my eyes are melting.. this shit is so bad Ryan Johnson asked the director for pointers for SW:TLJ. if it wasnt for Razor's commentary i wouldnt have gotten this far into it
I'd swear "flute guy" was in magnum P I's pilot episode(Don't eat the snow in hawaii) as magnum's naval buddy who dies.
Update: Yep same actor.
The man crashing through the glass doors, followed by the wheelchair guy, had me dying 😂😂😂
A new rageaholic Cinema!? today is good
That shits hysterical. Man your good.
Bruh, that Guilty Gears reference! "Heaven or Hell. Let's Rock!"
a rageaholic cinema? on my birthday?
you spoil me razorfist team.
This is a masterpiece!!!!
I haven't laughed this hard in years! Thanks RazörFist!!!
That's some great editing 👍 had me screaming with laughter.
Yes!!! A new installment of Rageaholic Cinema!!!
Pretty sure it's a reupload
Im so glad you reuploaded this! Its worth its weight in gold!
The phone deserved all that screen time being the best actor in this movie
I just watched Game of Death and even though that was cobbled together five years after Bruce Lee's death, and is pretty cheesy in parts, it's still a top film with a shit ton of great martial arts action. Imagine that, this piece of shit film is even beaten by a film starring a dead guy.
One of my favourite Martial arts movie
Escaped from the CZcams memory hole, The Scorpio Review has.
This guys acting ability make Chuck Norris look like Sidney Poitier
Scorpion is now being done by Marvel only the agent's name is called Stephanie Woods.
Man do I miss the 80s.
Don't we all?
Its a good day when Razör posts
I remember the music when Scorpion was going after the baddie on the ship. Still unknown, I bet. So be it.
This review is literally nothing but dick jokes. In other words...
A masterpiece.
Razörfist, you do a video on Van Dame's "Street Fighter" movie and I'll make a Vietnam inspired mech diorama dedicated to you.
Pretty sure that's the game of thrones theme being played on that flute 🤔
Pretty sure that boats floating on water.
serioulsy, you guys need to dub a film a la Kung Pow: Enter the Fist
I freakin love that movie. Steve Odekirk for the win. OH BLACK BETTY, BAM DA LAM!! Towel!
I wonder how much we'd have to pay to have Razor and Terran do an intentionally bad dub of a movie like Ryan and them in Whose Line Is It Anyway
Glad to see this series making a comeback 👍🏾👊🏾🔥
I thought I was going nuts when I saw this pop up as a new video. Then I realized I was watching a review for Scorpion again and confirmed it.
I was also initially confused, but I'm not disappointed.
Lol Dammit razor I thought I saw scorpions and assumed it was metal mythos, can we get another before the world ends God dammit?
like that Alice Cooper mythos that we've been waiting years for.
@@twoinfla wtf yes!!! I don't care that I already own every damn alice album on this planet I just love razors enthusiasm when it comes to metal, "all killer, no filler, fucking buy it, next"
This is quite possibly my favorite *ring ring*... excuse me.... I have to take that.
"Roof Nazis!" "Aaaww, vandalism." Stop it already Razor! My heart can't take any more pun. XD
Ears and Noses will be the Trophies of the Day.
You really need to do more of these... I haven't laughed this much in weeks.
9:11 I didn't know Zamfir was in this!
13:37 Glad to see that William Katt is still working.
Probably the greatest movie ever made.
There never was a DVD or a BluRay of that masterpiece ?
Nice to see Spoony finally upload a video.
Love your work...
Razor...we need more *Rageaholic Cinema.*
Glad to see this back up
R.I.P. Flute Guy... 😔
You rock, Razorfist.
Every moment of this film is spent in terrible anticipation of a slap bass riff
Glad to see it's back up!
Did you just name drop Quarthon in a movie review for The Scorpion?
That's why I'm subbed.