You Won't Get Over Your Toxic Job (Unless You Do This)
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- čas přidán 22. 05. 2024
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You left your toxic job, but it’s still living in your head rent-free. You thought maybe it would take a few weeks to decompress from all the stress it put you through - but it's been months (maybe even years), and you're still suffering. You're always on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. You're hypervigilant and spot toxic workplace signs everywhere. And worst of all: you're still anxious and miserable. You've given it time. You've shared your toxic job story. And you've educated yourself about toxic workplaces because you thought if you intellectualized your experience, you'd be able to move past it. But you're wrong. There are three reasons why you cannot get over your toxic job, which I'm going to explain in this video
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This video contains opinions and is for entertainment and educational purposes. You're a unique individual in a unique circumstance; this video is not perscriptive and viewers are responsible for their actions and decisions. Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in NO WAY obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! - Jak na to + styl
Left a toxic job at an office to a great job working from home. I love my new boss, I love my new coworkers, and due to the WFH culture, I no longer have to deal with office drama and politics. There IS a way out of your toxic job. You just have to find the strength within yourself to go out and find one. I had a toxic boss and still deal with the anxiety of it till this day. When my new boss (who is the sweetest woman ever) wants to meet with me, I immediately get worried and scared, but I remind myself that I am doing a good job and that I don't have to worry anymore. Your life and your sanity are not worth the toxic job. Find a way out!
I'm so glad you escaped and are retraining your brain! Pinning your comment to inspire others 💜
@@JenniferBrickThank you so much! ❤️❤️
I was fired from my toxic job, and it took about five months to get a a new job because I kept getting turned down.
I had to take a pay cut to get off unemployment. At first this was a huge blow to my confidence on top of the hit it had already taken. It turned out to be what I needed to heal. It was quiet and boring and I got room to breathe and rebuild myself.
Looking back, I realized it wasn’t a me problem. More than one person was a target, and they just learned how to work well enough to keep the target off their backs, where I didn’t. The problem wasn’t me, it was the training and I made that obvious. I exposed the flaw and they had to get rid of it.
My first moment that made me realize it wasn’t me, was winning my unemployment when my company tried to take it from me. Calling my mistakes undeserving of compensation. I’m very sure to this day writing a letter detailing my side of things is probably what saved me.
I'm so glad you found a boring job to heal in. It gives so much space to process and reergulate
Very true. Incidentally, I just mentioned this yesterday to a friend - hey that company was toxic af but I was never bored, there was always something going on. Because it's like living in a toxic relationship - the emotional rollercoaster keeps you on your toes, always on alert. And after a while you get used to it. I know people who've worked there (at the toxic company I left) for a decade. Imagine what they have instead of a brain at this point.
Drama is addictive. This assertion is a hill I will die on (confession: I'm a bit of a drama queen so I know all about it)
They enjoy the rollercoaster. 🎢 They are addicted to chaos.
I left my toxic advertising agency job 12 years ago and i am still not past it. I swear it’s like you’re reading my mind Jennifer.
What you're going through is awful - but it's not unique. Sending you sooo many vibes.
It's like having a toxic relationship some folks have an addiction to them. You are doing just fine with your live stream
Thanks for doing what you do Jennifer. I occasionally receive messages from the older videos & its a real drag that a massive amount of bots seem to flock to the channel & post nonsensical & often offensive comments & replies. At least they count as views but they sure interfere with people with legitimate questions & thoughts. The platform is being overrun by them. Happy Memorial Day Weekend 🌞 !
Thanks David. I have my comment filtering on the strictest - the ones you don't see are traumatizing. I'm taking a break from here for a bit but I'll be on TikTok 💜
You gotta be like King Kong to deal with toxic Godzilla
I can't tell you how much I love this analogy.
Adjusting to a micromanager can fall into a fawn response. -- It's a part of 4 trauma responses including fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Your sympathetic nervous system automatically reacts to a threat.
If you haven't already, read about Polyvagal Theory. Freeze is dorsal shutdown; I'm getting into academic research on how this interplays with neurodiverse individuals (especially ASD individuals).
@@JenniferBrick Sounds interesting. I've watched some CZcams videos on Polyvagal Theory, but haven't read books yet.
I used the tech downturn to qualify for bankruptcy. Now that I have $70K in debt discharged, I'm struggling to find motivation to stop living off my retirement plan and look for a job. No drama here, just very little motivation.
Motivation requires momentum. Start with tiny steps!
To echo what Jennifer said Dr Scott says too, but regardless of the task completed (like donating old clothes or some household chore) that you celebrate it like it’s a monumental accomplishment
I missed the live cause work 😢 but here with the replay crew
Glad you're here!
Thanks!! Been a member of channel for years and was impressed with the info and the production!
Going to rewatch it at least a few more times so I can absorb more of it. ADHD means it usually takes more than one listen lol.
Thanks for everything you do, Jennifer! 😊
It sounds like the equivalent of escaping a trauma bond relationship with an abusive narcissistic ex & their entourage of flying monkeys.
Abusive relationships are abusive relationships.
Jennifer Thank you this was great.
I hope it serves you in getting over your toxic job 💜 That's all I want to help people do.
Jennifer-Praying you can answer. Is it THAT bad to quit a job with nothing lined up? I have a cushion. But employers are WEIRD about resume gaps. My job is not only toxic-but the girl they hired to help me is incompetent and refuses to do the work I give her. I’ve developed two autoimmune illnesses there. What should I do? It’s a government job.
I can't answer this for you. There are companies and hiring managers who think top talent is *never* between jobs. I do have another video that can help you figure your answer out - but I will say this: I think you know the answer already and want to validate it.
The biggest hurtle for most is the financial piece. The economy is super wonky so I would suggest to anyone considering it to have 6-12 months runrate saved and a gap job in mind (when I quit my job during the Great Recession my fall back was retail and a contract job bookkeeping job I could pickup). Then have a plan; you'll need time to decompress (I obviously recommend my guidebook to expedite this), decide your next career move, then go after it.
Please keep me posted on what you do, feel free to hit up my email in the description!
@@JenniferBrick Awesome. THANK YOU!! I do know the answer, and wish I didn’t. I’m hitting up the temp agency tomorrow!
@@holliehilton3224 Hello! I am in a similar position. However in Europe. Jobs tha I like (matching my postgraduate degree) will not accept me as I am at an entry level there and have 3 months notice obliged by laws, meanwhile I have over 10 years of experience in my current field. My current job is toxic. My answer to such a situation is to take a first 'ok' job, where I was accepted, just to get out of the current mess. Give it a chance to 'glow' or earn some time to find another new one in a less toxic environment than the job you want to run away from.
Finally, everywhere we can spot something unhealthy, but growing a thicker skin helps. I learend to not take things personally, not be always perfect, but to clap my hands more often and 'seed' the good energy around despite all odds. It helps to earn some time too as well as it may change the nearest environment around me.
Fingers crossed for you.
Not to overwrite Jennifer''s advice, I am not a pro. Her advice helped me a lot to understand office politics and change my attitude. It made miracles and turned my worst enemy into a supportive aliant :)
Dang Ms. Brick, you straight up threw a brick with ending the chat midconvo 😂
Thanks for putting this on and I like the way you structured the phases. Additionally the uncomfortable truths of resurrection at next job (I’ve read a lot on social and organizational psychology and from my side there’s a lot of personality dynamics which were shaped in childhood and while you might be going on that journey of making the unconscious conscious and self discovery even enthusiastically, how many people in the workplace are doing the same. Like one, everyone else is either very lucky with a relatively fulfilled in all domains upbringing or have resigned to engaging in emotionally immature/unethical/abusive behaviors as their ego needs surpass morality and ethics. And in the end, who are the most successful, it’s typically the unscrupulous. So we effectively create our failures by projecting utopian ideals even if the organization’s “mission” as that’s mere facade.
She didn't end things abruptly .. She smiled & said " Bye For Now " Your comment is really self indulgent in my opinion & completely lacking in sincerity & it's your first ( & I hope last ) on the channel. It's nonsense 🙄
I disabled the chat in the replay because the gross number of insidious comments, I went through and blocked/removed. Many of my clients experienced sexual harassment in the workplace, like what I was subjected to in the live chat. This is retraumatizing for people. I did not see it live because a tech issue and I feel awful about it.
@@davidellis5141 interesting. I gather that your perception is equivalent to factual and therefore your need to unnecessarily defend, admonishment, casting judgement and an insult to boot. That’s zero to 100 of knowing someone from one post. There’s a concept called black or white thinking. Your response is a fine example of such. That’s what breeds toxicity “my interpretation is the only reality and no need to clarify if misunderstanding or context I’m missing. Then I’ll rabbit hole into casting you in one light and thereafter I will only look for things that could be perceived in a negative way and ignore any info that would change my belief of them” how myopic…
See my response to Jennifer. It was intended to be funny as when she sees the chat transcript she’ll see it ended while I was in midconvo with another viewer. I had expected it to end with the session anyway. It was meant to be a joke.
Do you work with Ms. Brick (I was a bit surprised that you knew it was the first time I’ve commented on her channel.)
@@davidellis5141 it is self indulgent in the sense that others are likely to to relate and I was distracted so I didn’t hear all the content thus why no constructive feedback. If anything it touches on that aspect of keeping the trauma alive by commiserating. However it’s my life experience which has molded my perception and one element of trauma processing is sharing it (along with strengthening your narrative) until it becomes a boring story void of the pain.
Anyhow there’s much better things to do than this type of engaging. Thanks for sharing your perspective! I don’t think I’ve come across a channel that has a feedback moderator (not sure if that’s the correct title)
Unless I missed it, I was hoping you would cover how to get revenge on your toxic job in this video.
That was what I covered in the last edition of the career bestie insider! I have a few videos on TikTok
Adaptation.
My boss made jokes repeatedly about my wife being raped. I reported to the company president who said I was wronged and her nephew was goingthrough severe mental issues about his father abandoning the family. Then said your relative died are you sure you know what is upsetting you. I still have nightmares. I filed a case with the eeoc and was given a multiple month leave of absence the same week I didn'task for. I have an open eeoc case. I have been given multiple ptsd drugs.
I think the speed of your thoughts was faster than writing them down as I’m not following the story well.
But yes, we should t go to work and leave traumatized
That is atrocious. I'm so sorry this happened and you're having to navigate everything. For what they're worth, I'm sending you so many vibes.
Please get a monitor for your chat. I got up to use the bathroom and my nine-year-old was reading everything. it's not your fault but this is not cool
I was horrified when I saw. I will not be doing lives on CZcams in the future after this, and I'll be sharing a community post because honestly dealing with the toxic audience CZcams continually pushed my content to is exhausting. I don't have this issue on other platforms.