STOP MAKING THESE CONVERSATION MISTAKES! | Speak Elegantly | Improve your Conversation Skills
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- čas přidán 7. 06. 2022
- Conversation is a sure fire way to reveal a lot about yourself- whether positive or negative. It's one thing to judge someone on their appearance- perhaps they had a bad hair day or it was just one of 'those days'. You can redeem yourself by dressing better next time. However, when it comes to conversing, oftentimes there is little space for error. You can't take words back! So can you see why the way you speak is of utmost importance?
In this video I dive deeper into technical aspects of conversation. Many of the things mentioned are done subconsciously and you can easily train yourself to improve these traits. Join me in this video where I explore 8 conversation mistakes you'd do well to stop making.
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I am a man, but I just subscribed to your channel. I find most of your tips applicable to anyone who wishes to level up. This would be a much better world if we all applied your wise counsel. Thank you for trying to make a difference.
Thanks for being here!
Agreed. ❤
English is my second language, even though I Speak , read and have conversations in English for a few years now. I've noticed I haven't improve my vocabulary as much. This year I'm focused on becoming more eloquent.
I agree with u.
🎉
1. Use the correct greetings based on which country you reside in.
Avoid asking "How are you?"you should ask "How have you been." Stop saying "Nice to meet you." instead say "pleased to meet you"
2. Stop rumbling. Be brief and concise. Think before speaking.
3. Dont pretend to know something. If you dont know something ask for more information. Dont be ashamed.
4. Avoid hostile attribution bias. Stop assuming or suspecting people based on their behaviour.
5. Keep it neutral and simple. Avoid taking sides.
6. Avoid forcing humor in conversation. keeps jokes and humor to a minimum.
7. When speaking to people strive to discern their level of interest and adjust accordingly.
8.Using repetitive vocal intonation. Change your tone and emphasise on the right words to give the statement more meaning.
Thanks
Depending on if it’s somebody, I know very well. I’ll say hello. What’s new in your world?
@@maddybee4523 I like this .
1. Not using the correct greeting
2. Rambling
3. Pretending to know something you don't
4. Allowing hostile attribution bias to get the best of you
5. Not keeping it neutral and civil
6. Forcing humor in conversation
7. Assuming a level of interest in what you are saying
8. Using repetitive vocal inflections
Thank you very much. I was looking for someone to sum this up
As a 68-year-old American woman I can tell you that 'hey' is very informal and should never be used with people outside one's very casual circle of friends, if at all. I'm afraid I do say 'how are you', but I will try 'how've you been' instead. Same with nice/pleased to meet you. I enjoy your channel--new subscriber!
Dear Vivienne, I can't express enough how much these tips are helpful! As someone whose first language is not English I find your videos educational. Your way of speaking is something I aspire to.
@Katarina Stepanovic your comment is written in perfect English.
Agreed
In western USA, many people choose casual "hey" or "Hello." I prefer to say "Good morning/afternoon/evening". It communicates respect and helps the recipient know that I appreciate the same.
Same here! I think it's more refreshing
Dear Vivienne, I recently subscribed to your channel but I have to say that I’m obsessed with watching your videos. I’m 73 but I love to learn, I also like to make sure that what “I think I know” is correct. I find your videos so interesting and helpful to everyone, not only women. Thank you for all the work you do to bring us these videos ❤
Wow... the part where she said.."when asked a question..think carefully.. before giving an answer"...it got me.
Thank you!
In the case of forcing humour, that also goes for forcing sexual conversation if it's someone you're romantically inclined with or attracted to because that's a real turn off for many people
Men do that on dates so the time say weird content sexual stuff
Then if u don’t laugh they cal u to serious
It’s just weird why would I talk bout sex if the women literally just met u
Somtimes I think to my self men think talking bout sec wil
Make us want se X ,?
You ooze elegance effortlessly. Your videos are educative.
Your voice conveys so much confidence, it shines your elegance ✨✨✨
No, we in the U.S. really don't say, "Hey" as a greeting, at least not to anyone we aren't on close terms with. Even then, "Hey" is immediately followed by the person's name.
In the older crowd, when we were children we would say, "Hey [Name]!" to get a classmate's or friend's attention -- not to greet them -- and our teachers and parents would correct us by saying, "Hay is for horses!" (even though hay and Hey are different words). It sounded impolite to them.
I’m from the USA, and I always consider ‘hey’ as an informal greeting that’s reserved for family and friends. Once, a man who works in my building, greeted me by saying “hey”. I responded with “hello”. I remember feeling a little insulted by this overly familiar greeting.
Speaking depicts ELEGANCE and Refinement truely
I am not a lady but I learn a lots when I hear you speak. Thank you Vivienne
The example of I didn’t say he stole the bag is a great way to explain different ways of understanding what was said
I feel it like a must to let you know how significant and interesting your channel is to me ! Thanks for taking the time to share these important values to women . Your lessons are like gems of Diamond Vivienne ! So , keep it up and by the way , you are a true classic and elegant woman yourself. No
wonder why you are so knowledgeable and practical in your teaching !
9lvp90
Hi, I just wanted to say that a lot of times the words I choose for greetings are words that my listener can understand. Often people in India (where I live) don’t understand my accent. So they can understand “How are you?” but not “How have you been?”
When I say “How are you?” , which I don’t say often, it is always followed by silence. Needless to say; people get a little uncomfortable realizing that I am actually waiting on an answer from them; to tell me how they are. I never liked when “how are you?” is being used as a greeting. But, say no more, I like “Are you well?” And will start using it!
Oh wow, same here! I’d literally be waiting for a reply, because when someone asks me how I am, I always answer. Sometimes I feel like just being a kid again when everything was much simpler!
I think asking are you well also depends on where you live. In my country, it will sound awkward like “ you look sick”
The few times I’ve said “how are you” as a greeting I’ve never gotten a response which is why I avoid it now.
Guilty 😔 on point 8. Woman! You look and transpire elegance. Yes. Great 👍
Hello Vivienne,
I stumbled upon your channel. I find your videos helpful for anyone. The negative remarks of viewers on your videos I find unnecessary and them not understanding where you are coming from on those topics or they are just envious of you . You are beautiful and it exudes from you. Being classy I find very attractive. I hope more women or persons follow your teachings in life as it will serve them better. Thank you.
I discovered this channel a few days ago and I feel so blessed. 🙏
I usually say good morning, good afternoon, or good evening, depending on the time of day. I never use hey as a greeting. Maybe age has something to do with it. USA
Exactly. Hey is super casual and only used with close friends and some family members that you are familiar with.
First one mob love from Kenya 🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪💖💯 thanks for this 💗💗
I’m from the USA, and I use the phrase Greetings!
Thank you for sharing this! ❤ it’s definitely a hard one to bite your tongue sometimes but so essential!
Out of all chanells of this kind of content, I find yours the most informative and truly practical. You show an example of firstly an intelligent woman, than all that follows - in the context of being refined and elegant.
The vase of flowers behind you needs more attention!💓
I am an American. I have never been greeted with "Hey". I think you might have seen that in movies mostly said by very young people. We say Hello. Now I know there are movies where some young women and men say something like, "Hey, girl." But I assure you regular Americans do not do that. Especially in business settings.
Agree 💯
Vivienne, what a fantastic video! I believe that proper speech can truly take one far in life. Thank you for highlighting such an important topic. By the way, you look fabulous in yellow!
Hugs from Florida 🌺
In America we hardly ever say pleased to meet you… We say nice to meet you. Pleased to meet you comes across too formal over here
I often say "pleased to meet you" or "it was a pleasure to meet you", but then I'm old!🤣
We also don’t greet people as “Hey”….NO IDEA where she got that from🤯
Not really, I think it just depends on what you're used to. I've been saying the latter since I was little. ☀️
@@lorrainea.285 Right! We usually say "Hi" Which is the shortened version of Hello.
I hate to be off topic. I do admire your dress and the color. It suits your skin tone beautifully.
Thank you very much Vivienne. These lessons are truly are blessing
I wanna thank you so much for this topic. All my time on CZcams I have never watched and listing to a video that touch me like your videos. All your videos are very educating
In Nigeria, we greet Good morning, Afternoon or evening. Or greet in our various native language
And I think casually asking someone “are you well” in Nigeria might be perceived negatively. Just my opinion though.
Your elegance is so genuine! 😊
Hello my dear! It's such a delight to find this channel that offer advice on ones self improvement and a refresher others. Glad I came across your channel.
Wow! Thanks for the free counseling. You speak about serious things like you have read my mind. Your beautiful accent of the english language, your intelligence, your detailed knowledge of the topics that you speak about, and of course, the general presentation of your show is so compelling that I subscribed instantly - halfway through the show.
Thanks for helping the world through your gift of good speaking. 🙏🏽💯%
You really are Elegant, smart, beautiful and confident.
Love your videos! New sub here. I find whenever speaking with someone who doesn’t know how to articulate themselves, it tends to create confusion. There becomes lots of miscommunication and oftentimes, people will think the person means one thing when they mean something else entirely.
Very thought provoking talk. Thank you so much! 🌷
"Which one stood out to you and why?" That got me
Excellent video! I love how you explained everything ❤️ Thank you 😊
Since my English is not my first language I’m reading comments and liking it 😂 although I already wrote my own, but I know I’m lacking substance when I write in English. My hat goes off to you 👏🏼
Wow!! I have to work on the hostile attribution bias. It really affects building relationships. Thank you for taking out the time to make this video🙂 New subbie
Very true about it contributing to relationship building
In Australia, we usually say hi or hello. G’day is somewhat a stereotype, reinforced by cringey soap operas e.g Neighbours. It’s mainly used in a casual setting and also by folks who live in regional areas.
Beautiful videos. I could listen to you repeatedly! You are the true example of what you teach.
I stumbled on your page, and in a few minutes, I have learnt quite a number of things. I absolutely love what you're doing.
Thank you Vivienne! My speech has always been a trouble spot for me and it is something I am constantly working on, whether it is what I say or how I say it.
Thank you Vivienne! I really appreciate this video, and have learned a lot. I wish you great success in all you do. Please keep producing great content.
Good day
Please please upload every week!!! 🙏🏼🤗
This is very helpful for everyone, men as well as women. THANK YOU!
Please can you educate me on how to start a conversation with someone? Like simple clues or start phrases 😊.
Thank you.
I am Zulu. I love how Xhosa greet . They don't just say molo they say molo mama/ molo makazi. I've never heard anyone just say molo, even the children. They would continue ask you a long conversation about how are you? They will greet one by one. Zulus would just say sawubona. Unjani? Done. One or two would really ask you or sort of prolonging the greeting.
I love your refined way of speaking, something I want to develop.
Thank you you, Miss Vivienne.
By the Way, I absolutely love that dress you've got on. 🧡
In the U.S., only people living in the South use "hey" as a greeting, and it is considered dialect. "Hi" or "hello" is used in the North and elsewhere, and also in the South.
Ive always disliked, “How are you?”, especially in passing. I only ask this to someone I’m conversing with.
I find your videos to be very helpful, so thank you! I will say that some of these tips are personal preference and are not necessarily incorrect. Everyone will not speak the same because everyone it’s not the same. As long as it’s appropriate, correct grammar I think it is OK to use different ways to greet communicate with people. Again you say something is wrong it’s not necessarily wrong. Thank you so much for your content.
Absolutely fabulous! Thank you for sharing! Love your content!
I try very hard to be classy in a environment that is not classy, so it’s hard for me not to be classy
00:05 Conversation etiquette is crucial for elegance.
01:41 Stop using insincere and overused phrases like 'How are you'
02:56 Being concise is important for good communication.
04:18 Avoid hostile attribution bias in conversations
05:44 Avoid negative and unhelpful conversations
07:01 Be mindful of humor and conversation in different settings.
08:21 Balance the conversation and use vocal inflections effectively.
09:39 Using inflections in speaking to convey different meanings
I really enjoyed this video, Vivienne. Thank you! How do we console someone who’s lost a loved one, you never really gave an example of what we should say. Basically, someone who’s grieving.
I get you ,I think a simple my condolences might do .Also maybe not asking them how they are doing immediately after the loss since it is obvious . Also more hugs.
Kindly refrain from saying God has a plan ,Things happen for a reason ......That type of language is unnecessary.
Also try to follow their pace .If they act normal try acting normal.Because they want a normal time from the grieving.
Hope this helps
@@sakuraesther6309 thank you so much. I almost never have anything to say and I think at that point, it may be insensitive to say something like that. I guess if you aren’t within proximity at that point, you say “my condolences” but I also feel like if it’s a loved one, they may want more than that. Guess I’ll have to watch a video about that. Thank you so much!
@@AdaUnleashed The other day, my friend lost her husband. I wasn’t close to her so I couldn’t visit but I could barely call her else the silence would be obvious. I kept sending her emoji and sticker hugs until one of those days, I said: “I can’t imagine what it’s like for you right now. I can’t even ask how you’re feeling. I just want you to know I’m praying for strength for you through this and I’m here if you need someone to talk to.” That did help us both get closer that season.
@@salomebuari_senteducator aw thank you.
My mum would press her phone number into their hand and say, " When you need a shoulder to blean on or someone to talk too, I'm here . Just the knowledge, they're not alone was a great comfort.
"Hey" in the US is a casual, familiar greeting. We say, "Hello". Or at least "Hi".
Thank you so much Vivenne. Learnt a lot from this video 💕
So helpful, watching from Philippines.
Vivienne, you are the most elegant lady online, and it was wonderful to see that you have a speaking course. If you have an accent neutralizing feature, I'd be happy to sign up! 🌹✨
Thank you 🙏🏿 for all your help
Great job explaining , we need more videos similar to yours. I really enjoyed listening to you.
Thank you Vivienne. This is so informative.
I think whatever languages we use, it always depends on the context, fields
, class, formal or informal, mode etc. There are sometimes we don’t need to sound bookish. However, I quite enjoy every bit of it while it lasted.
Kudos! I am beginning to like your advice, many thanks.
Just a polite reminder; Vivviene's videos is all about being Classy and Elegant and what she has posted concerns those interested in class & elegance, not just "any people" ; Despite of any place or person you could be communicating with!😉
Its always a pleasure learning from your videos
I was watching your video I'm touched and moved by every thing you have said. I endorse every word very profound you're eloquent speaker thank God for you. ❤❤
Thanks Vivy. We use good morning, afternoon and evening.
Thank you Vivienne. These tips were helpful.
Thank you for sharing your tips on greetings.In Mexico we say buenos días , buenas tardes or buenas noches depending on the time of day.
Thank you so much
I learned a lot
God bless you 💛
Love ❤️ love your channel I have learned so much. Thanks.
Thank you, Vivienne. I learn a lot from you
Thanks for your delivery
Guten Tag!
Thank you so much for this elegant introduction to become a better woman.
An elegant Lady.
Great job Viveinne. I enjoy all your videos. Thank you very much. Could you please make a video on facial expression during a conversation...formal and informal. Thank you.
I really wish i had a teacher like you. Thank you . I am still hoping i will one day recieve the book 👍🏽
Wow! Great job Viv, I have been enlighten .
Great video. Thanks so much for sharing. 👍🏼
Such an informative video. Thank you for the insight 😊
Well I rather enjoyed this lesson! Thank you!
You're amazing and I am going to learn so much from you.
Thank you very much!
I appreciate your tips. There's a lot that'll work on
Thanks alot Vivienne, there have been a great improvement in my communication skills
Oh my that colour looks stunning on you 💛
Hey would be reserved for friends in the US. I am not sure who uses that greeting though. We would commonly use what's up, or what's going on. In a professional setting that would change drastically 😁😁
It's true that "Hey" is almost ubiquitously used as an informal greeting here in America, yet it is not my favorite one, as it sounds flippant. I agree with you, Vivienne; it's nicer to use "Hello," or "Good morning," which are kind and polite ways to greet any individual. I may use "Hi" or "Hey" when, for instance, I'm messaging a pal (often accompanied by the individual's name or by a warm expression such as "friend").
Thank you for mentioning that the phrases, "How have you been?" and "Are you well?" are more caring alternatives to "How are you?". I'm curious, though... why do you say that "Nice to meet you" is inappropriate? It is a common expression here in America; yet I do agree that "Pleased to meet you" sounds more refined and genuine.
I'm enjoying this series on polite conversation, Vivienne!
Those are very useful pieces of advice on how to be an elegant woman. Thank you very much.
I've learned. Thank you Viviam
Am grateful I came across your channel!!
I enjoyed watching all your videos, very informative
This was really needed thank you
Very helpful tips!! Thank youuu!!
Your advice is outstanding!!!!