8 Types of Friends you MUST Avoid on your Elegance Journey | Avoid these 8 types of Friends
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- čas přidán 26. 09. 2022
- On your elegance journey, it is so important to have a support network around you- one that supports your vision and goals to change. Sometimes, however, we may hold on to friends who do not have our best interest at heart and may even exhibit traits such as jealousy in our desire to change.
In this video, I explore 8 types of friends you must avoid and/or cut loose if you want to successfully transform into a woman of Elegance.
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1. Avoid friends who gossip
2. Friends who do not believe in you
3. Friends who mock the woman you're becoming
4. Friends who belittle you
5. Those who don't share your values
Amen cherry iv been there hun
I couldn't agree more on all you said...especially #1. If they gossip TO you, they will gossip ABOUT you...and 9 times out of 10 they will be telling lies just to make themselves feel better about themselves, especially if you are more attractive and/or have more going for you than they do.
Thank you for the advice🌹
Well said 👏
6. Friends that drain you emotionally
7. Friends who make you feel uneasy
8. Friends who won't respect your personal boundaries
Friends who gossip about others to you would also gossip about you to others. So I’ve learnt to never ever share any personal information about myself with those type of friends.
YES AGREE, I HAVE ALREADY MAKE A BIG MISTAKE, BUT LEARNT A BETTER LESSON.
I agree with you
Same hun x
True
Learned this the hard way… glad I actually cut her off 😊
It is better to be alone than to have these 8 types of friends.
Amen x im that person iv been to hell and back with friends
I know that's right! Hallelujah on that.
A wise person once said, “you are the the embodiment of your 3 closest friends”
My 3 closest friends are not my choice. In fact, I am thinking of changing them, but it's not much to see at the horizon.
One of them has invited me out for a coffee on Christmas. In fact, it was closed, bank holiday, nobody on the streets, no point in getting out, but she didn't tell me, despite me asking. It turns out that I have walked 30 minutes across the town just to meet her and be her photographer for her social media pictures. Long story short, I gave a long thought and I find that behaviour rude. That's why I have cancelled our next meeting which was supposed to happen next day during presumably another bank holiday. So I can be a fool twice. No, thank you. Christmas is for staying at home, not for photoshooting.
@@eeaotly Aww my heart goes out to you. 😢 ❤️
"Friends who belittle you".. Very very key to eliminate this set of people no matter how difficult it may be.
Yes it can be missed at first. Sometimes you think did I actually hear that or see that properly. You most likely did and should smoothly exclude those who do this from your life.
So true. I had a "friend" once who always gave me strange vibes. After some time, we did the same course at University. She failed the course, I passed. It wasn't until some 6 years later that I'd heard from mutual friends that she was still pissed off and mind-boggled as to why she failed and I passed (the course had and still has quite a high failure rate). That was the end of her for me! It all made sense why I always got strange vibes from her. I realised she wanted to be one always blessed and couldn't handle other people's success. She'd been a frenemy all along. Say goodbye to such friends, ladies.
@@thequeenmidas yes I have had the same with a sister who I could never quite put my finger on what it was. Until she drank one night and I realized she'd never been who I thought she.was. it felt like jigsaw puzzle pieces just suddenly slotting into place. She reeled of slights and injuries I had done to her since the minute I was born.😃and took an axe to my current life and late husband. That's when I realized she had been jealous all the time. I was quite mindblown.
@@deniseelsworth7816 It's very sad. Most of the time we're not even aware of their jealous and ill-will. I've always competed with myself vs competing with others, always looking for the best in others, so I'm always so surprised when friends turn out to be frauds😭
Yes we can naively believe that others feel the way we do. If we don't think in a certain way we don't imagine that someone can. That they can hold secret malicious intent. Especially if it's someone we feel close to unfortunately.
I have a coworkers/ friend that I have caught twice looking me up and down. You know when they look at your shoes first and make their eyes up to the rest of you.This is a person I've had to my home and hung out with outside of work . My gut telling me she's not a true friend.
Follow your gut
RUN!!!!!
Rude
They are jealous of you
@@chrysterfung5983 Exactly! FOLLOW YOUR GUT!
Live your life the way that you want to live it, don’t let other people live it for you…
I need to write this quote down
Bad association spoils everything. Choose close friends wisely and sometimes, few.
You've described almost my entire family.
I'll add that this equally applies to relatives as well.
Very true
I avoid these types of women at work and it seems like it makes me more of a target. all of their focus is on me and trying to knock down my confidence and self esteem. So it's a tough journey to walk alone, but I manage.
Friendship is good but I am graduadually loosing interest in it since I feel it's emotionally draining to me
The right people won't drain you
This is so true about friendships. My friendship of 20 years has come to an end. She was a toxic and greedy person and I'm surprised I put up with her for so long.
That's a long friendship
@@lindagithaiga1974 It is indeed. Very sad. You get to a point where you realise you need to stop putting up with people's sh&t and stop giving them the benefit of the doubt all the time. Your worth is surely more than that x
@@poisonedchalice I hope you gave yourself enough time to grieve and heal from the loss.I understand that losing a long term friendship leaves one with feeling of grief nearly equal to losing a loved one in death.
@@lindagithaiga1974 still working on it. Thank you x
@@lindagithaiga1974 Not exactly, friendships coming to an end out of choice is a relief. I have made such choices, some of those long-term ones are made when we are still evolving and many years later they are just hangers-on, who don't bring any value to the friendship but rather stagnate you at the point you were at when you first met.
I agree with everything you said. I've learned to have eyes on the back of my head when it comes to females because I have been torn down and back-stabbed by so many envious females that I once called friends. A friend should support your dreams, life, and growth and not inhibit them. A REAL friend is not threatened by your happiness, growth, and/or success, even when things aren't going so great in their own life. A REAL friend also knows to keep her paws off your man...even if he comes after her. I know what a REAL friend is because I've been one. I have yet to find one.
I am trying to stop associating with a neighbor who is very gossipy, judgmental, and dangerous. It is difficult because ai have known
this individual for so many years. Every time I go out with this person it is traumatic for me one way, or another.
This video has given me the courage to not continue to be involved with this individual. Thank you, for your Chanel, and for your
hard work.
CO Workers are the worst gossipers. It's not easy to get away from them. I just learned not to share anything with them that I don't want to be passed around. Family can be your other worst gossipers. As soon as you tell one family member, they get right on the hotline and tell another. I don't write or tell my secrets that I don't want anyone to know. I also have stopped sharing achievements and goals. They don't care anyway, or they will try to stop you from achieving what goals you have set. I have elegant ways of doing some things, but I'm not completely an elegant woman. There are many things for me to improve on. Thank you for your videos!
I just love listening to your advice. Ive been separating myself from those who drain me emotionally and dont share my values
Its extremely liberating.
This is why I be on monk Mode. The more I walk in truth the more problem I become. ... especially with church folks.
I'm older and old people trip too. I'm loving life and aging....to stay there I walk alone.
Energy don't lie.
Church isn't the issue here really
@@onyinyechin4610 No it isn't it was for me on my journey so I shared that ...thinking elegance is shared by many.from different walks in life.
I think friendships are incredibly underrated. *We are told from the early age how to be great girlfriends and wives, but not that much how to be great friends.*
I absolutely adore my friends. It's a very small group, but I trust them. Each with the things I'm comfortable sharing. Still learning how to be more open and vulnerable with my friends..
Love your channel, a great inspiration 💕
You are exactly right. A video a while back I was watching was called the “myth of female friendship”. Basically it was about having girlfriends friendships while being in a relationship. It don’t exist in many women lives anymore. Before I moved to another state I tried to get my so called best friend to watch it and asked her if we were go still be close best friends. But of course she got a new boyfriend and a new best friend and I was bumped out the way. I haven’t heard from her since May of this year.
@@Iam_alicialove so very true.. Very often when a woman gets into a relationship she forgets about her girlfriends. But I think just for our sanity we need those relationships so much. We need to have our girly time to recharge out batteries, to share all the feminine things that men wouldn't be able to understand. It's so special and should be cherished.
@@IEVAKambarovaite exactly I understand your relationship with your significant other is very important because that’s the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with, and will have the most time with. But don’t forget the ones who were there before him or her. I feel like friendships should take more work just as much, if you ask me.
@@Iam_alicialove exactly! We need those friendships to make our relationship with the significant other work as well. Your romantic partner can't be your everything.
@@IEVAKambarovaite Watch “ The myth of female friendships by the feminine fancy it’s here on CZcams
Great video!!! I wish 12+ years ago I had this type of sense I had horrible friends I trusted with my personal business and they betrayed me badly!!!! Lesson learned!!!!!
same
I used to gossip because I was insecure. When I gained security and self-confident, gossip became very distasteful to me. It’s easy to change and makes conversations much more productive and positive. My friends trust me and I trust them. I don’t want to sabotage that.
I used to get very hurt when I found out that people were gossiping about me. After I found out that miserable loves company. I don't care anymore.
“Your secrets [are] your weapon[s], and don’t let anyone use them against you.” 🔥
After watching this video now I understand why I don’t have “friends” thank you for your work
I'm so glad I found your videos..I can see I have made alot of improvement. I'm 11 months sober so that helps, too.
Well done hun keep going xx
Definitely agree with not exposing too much inner secrets. Personally I only have one dearest friend whom have disclosed most secrets and trust her much. She has advise whenever I need and understand me. She's more younger than myself
My mom was like this.
Real friends, or other people close to our hearts, let us Shine!
I Agree with you keeping your secrets to yourself.
💯
I very much appreciated the part on the nights out. If you fear that missing out a night out with the usual pack means depriving yourself of fun, you're so wrong. Take an objective look : is having cheap wine and tons of chips in a seedy pub, and ending up vomiting in the gutter funny and uplifting ? No, because the morning after, spread out on your couch with your hangover, you clearly realize that the money you spent was wasted, that those type of venues and friends won't ever bring you nice encounters with high-caliber persons, nor improve your well-being and journey of turning into the elegant, classy lady you deservce to be. There are so many more inspiring cultural events, gallery openings, classical concerts that'll leave you so elated and help you meet much more interesting persons, or, who knows the man of your life. Even just visiting your granma or granpa or aunt or whoever, on the countryside, will not only be a kind gesture but give you a healthy start into the week after good fresh air and going early to bed and being pampered by genuine love from a cherished, supportive family member.
The best comment.
I had so many jealous friends gosh!
Oh, my goodness! Imagine having all these qualities in one person.
I know vivian is just amazing
I have told a best friend a big secret. We no longer talk and I am worried she may have disclosed my information to other people. I would hope she is still a good person. She did throw it in my face one time. Interesting.
i dont trust anyone anymore, ive been betrayed by most people
Ab big mistake she will tell your secret
Thanks for the confirmation, so true. Those are the reasons why I stopped having friends. It would be nice to find some decent ones.
Thank you for a fantastic video. I have had friends like those that you describe. I let go of them and found myself and my peace of mind. I had friends where I was always the one giving, available etc but did not get the same from them. I’m at peace.
I didn’t realize my 7th grade ‘friend’ was actually invading my personal boundaries. Even hugged me when I was uncomfortable can’t believe i put up with her even after I graduated
You are such a well educated person! I always upgrade my vocabulary while listening to you. Keep up the great work!
I agree with your advices and let me share whats I found in they bible in 1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits.
EXACTLY!
Love this video! I NEVER want to be"that friend". Staying the course.. Striving to be a classy lady of integrity and elegance. Thanks again!
I agree with the points listed in this video. Could you please do a video on how to make valuable friends while keeping your dignity and elegance?
I love this idea for a video.
@@carm9716 me too ❤
Yes, please!
There is nothing wrong with setting positive goals for yourself and reaching for them. Anyone who disparages you for reaching higher is not a friend.
Thank you for the support and affirmation. I have been on a journey, and people sometimes make me feel bad because I have been getting rid of some friendships. Thank you, and you look great!
hi well said
I really needed this video❤️
This CZcams channel is my best find of 2022😍
Same here... It's literally my most meaningful find this year ✌
Screen female friends the same way you would men. Sometimes we 'trust' other women when we ought not to. Any woman who mentions her "arch enemies" or who has endless conflicts with neighbours- run.
So true, sometimes it’s not obvious, but all of these traits undermine progress and growth. Thank you for breaking it down.
Just remember, you're also judged by the company you keep.
Well need more in-depth videos for this, friends, doing such with people
First here💯
Thank you
Thank you so much for this. It's often hard to see when you're in it.
Is it me or is Viv girl really really really so beautiful...😍💯
Would be interested in a video regarding ones feminine mystery with aquatints and family members who aren’t gossiping (or don’t realize they’re gossiping) but revealing things from childhood/teen years/ early twenties to whoever!
I don't always agree with you. That is because some of your points come across a little snobbery or cultural differences. However, with this latest information, I agree with you so much on this topic. Well said 👏
I was introduced to a male coworker in aother dept, by a friend at work. Never met the guy b4. She started gossiping about my female in my dept to this man. I was horrified. I said I don't believe that, I have to work with her. Stop it, I'm leaving. Thats all I said. I left. Next day female starts yelling at me. Saying the man told her I was gossiping! I said why am I going to talk about you, to a complete stranger? I told her what I said. I also said, what comes out of someone else's mouth is not on me. Take it up with them. I ended my friendship. Talk about embarrassing.
I just don’t have any friends, nothing but awful experiences. Including a marriage.
This is a tough matter. I love and genuinely care for my friends but now I'm not compatible with the majority of them. For example the other day, one of my friends added me and others to a group chat with a very vulgar name. Everytime someone texted, the notification with the vulgar name would pop up. I asked if you could change the name, they didn't want to. So I excused myself and left the chat. They took offense to it. So far I just have one friend I truly align with, so we do a lot of activities together (pilates, brunches and visiting art museums, bookclubs etc). They go out every weekend nights to get drunk, we prefer to get up early to do out activities. But apparently we are the bad guys for not joining them.
Excellent list.
Is it possible for you make a video of how to make friends when your over 30 and leveling up?
Great idea ❤
Thank you mam😥 because at one point or another I felt guilty of the points you just made.i really do appreciate I have learnt something out from you today
Me too.
Safe to say this is just God speaking to me through you. 😢 Why am I just coming across this clip. 😩 Thank you so much, ma’am. 🙏🏾❤️ Here’s a conviction and reminder to remain focused on my elegant journey as I’ve been so distracted for weeks now.
I am so so grateful for the gems you share. Thank you for your content. It is always so eye-opening and refreshing. ❤️❤️
Oh my
The just glanced through your account and I have to say I find it quite interesting and educative
You’ve definitely gotten a new subscriber
This is informative. Thank you❤
It is very interesting.
Thank you so much Vivienne.. You've been my guide through this journey of elegance
Thanks again Viv for another amazing video filled with gems. Keep them coming sis xx
This is a taker. I love this and will surely start making applicable some of these tips. Thanks for taking the time out to do this video.
You've just described my mother
Thank you so much. I’m still trying to elevate myself to that point with certain friends. I appreciate you so much.
Never too late to learn and change if necessary.
I am so glad I came your channel. Very interesting & uplifting for my new journey.
Thanks for the teachings Vivian I'm not left the same.
Wow I’m so happy I found this channel today!
I love this video on identifying friendships. I see many of these aspects in people that i am acquaintances with. There is one woman who i now recognize that I've kept at arm's length (because of past experiences) because I wanted to protect myself.....i now understand that she does not fit in any of these categories and should be in my circle of close friends.....and hearing this I recognize that i have exhibited some of these because i was focused on keeping the friendship. I do not have very many friends. This has opened my eyes in identifying these traits in others and myself as well.
All this so true been there with friends NEVER EVER AGAIN..i keep my secrets to myself period iv dropped a lot of so called friends
What great advice for girls and women.the dark side of the sisterhood can be a minefield. I don't indulge in any of these games but I am knocking on now.
"I never divulge my deepest secrets to anyone...NOT EVEN my best of friends. Because If we were to fall out, I could easily become paranoid..." (etc) Well... to me this sounds like a translation of: I never fully trust other people. To me that seems like a sad way of going thru life? But...I maybe missing something different she means. Risk is the only way to get certain rewards. I work on taking better risks.
Why should one FULLY trust anyone in the first place? We all claim to know our friends but if we are being truthful to ourselves, we know there's will always be a part of them that we are yet to know, a part that we may never know.
Trusting a friend to a certain extent is one thing, trusting them FULLY is another and it's way too risky. You only know yourself 100%.
@@newtonvictoria34 💯
Honestly you don't know the people in your life that well, even your best friend. There's no reward in exposing yourself naked to people.
Would you divulge your bank account balance? Definitely not, because it puts you at risk.
Be careful even with friends.
Appreciate the perspectives presented here. The self reflection that brought me to my original comment was this:
TRUST...is NOT about the other person. It's about whether or not you TRUST YOURSELF to be able to overcome any difficulties presented to you in life.
When you have a solid foundation of inner resources and belief in YOURSELF and in your connection to Life's Spirit, you know that even your deepest darkest secret turned against could not destroy you. You have NO fear.
At that point, the deep dark secret OVERCOME can ONLY bring you greater reward.
Thanks for the advice. I have such persons who called me as their friend and I'm not in the same boat with them. That's why I am not a forgiving person because of people like those you mentioned
Yes, yes. Thank you. I enjoyed watching this.
You are the best Vivian.
I always tell my kids to be the friend that you don't have. Choose wisely😊
Wow this to very timely👌👍thanks Vivian!!
But I really don’t see my self having true friends.
Hello Vivienne. Stay beautiful 🤍☀️🌸😊
This video was very much needed and so helpful. Greetings from France. Thanks to you
I was waiting this kind of video, Vivianne you are absoluttly gorgeous
You’re glowing today!
I love your videos, they are always relevant.
Absolutely
Thank you so much for this video
Thanks Vivian for this it helped me notice I don't have true friends at all
Thank you auntie viviene 🙏🙏🇿🇲🇿🇲
Love this! 💜💜💜
You are so right Vivian
It's really hard to find good friends...I've had the gossipers, the let's get wasted, the ones that would embarrass me to entertain whoever was around....it's gotten to where I decline invitations and go out solo or stay home. But even that gets made fun of. Must be something wrong if I don't have friends to hang/do stuff with. 😔
Very precious advices.
AND WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ELEGANT WOMEN YOU ARE INDEED, I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH FROM YOUR VIDEOS, IVE JUST SUBSCRIBED, AND BEST WISHES FROM ANN.
This is a great guides for some family members too.
Thank you so much for this video.
Thank you vivianne ❤
Thank so much for these videos Viv
Very Impactful
That's very true.
Thank you so much ma. It's quite refreshing.
Thank you for sharing such important and practical information on building our class.
I needed this ‼️ThankYou
Really enjoy your channel. Thank you so much for quality content. 🌸
Good evening Vivian, thanks once again for this useful tips on point as useful 👍. Totally correct , I used to have a friend like that like 3 years ago, gracious me, she fits in as mentioned 😀 oh my I couldn't continue with her toxic attitude anymore so I politely cut her off, I used to wonder how she became friends with me , but thank goodness all is history anyhow. Thanks 🌹!!
Learned a lot from this