When we’re gone, I fear my autistic son will be alone | This Is Us
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- čas přidán 7. 07. 2024
- Darius is a 14-year-old teenage boy with autism. While nonverbal, his sweet-natured and quirky personality shine in his everyday interactions with his parents, Winson and Andrea.
Yet, what the future might hold for Darius when Winson and Andrea are no longer around remains a constant source of worry, and one they have to grapple with everyday.
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This was my grandma worst nightmare before she passed,now I'm taking care of my autistic auntie. A promise still a promise grandma .
Respect.
Make sure as you care for her you meet your own needs as well do not abandon yourself get help as you need there is not shame in doing so you and the autistic aunts our equals so her needs are just as important as your care for yourself too please
Kudos to you good person. 😊❤️❤️
😢😢
To Darius' mom: He is already contributing to society. Him appearing in this video will help more people understand autism a little better. The both of you have done a great job!
If only every autistic child can have the unconditional love and support from loved ones, they can become well integrated into society. Early intervention is important. Actually this boy seems more good natured and better behaved than some normal children who are at his age.
Parents’ love is truest unconditional. He seems like a clever and lovely boy. It saddens me hearing that they have to adjust their lives to cater to the public so as not to be seen as a nuisance. I hope they will be able to travel around freely without having to cater to others or be cautious about how people view them. Cheering for them! 👏🏻👏🏻💙
Autism is the greatest challenge towards the parents mentally and physically especially, not just the child facing the future. Really hope the public be more patience and understand more once knowledge the condition what the child and parents have went through.. For those parents that suffers, please dont give up.
Mummy and Daddy, you are doing a great job!!! I'm sure Darius will be able to continue living a fulfilling life even as he grows into adulthood, with all the love and support you give him. To Darius, I believe you can achieve your goal of going to school by yourself one day. All the best 😊
I find these kids very loveable. They deserve all the love in the world❤️
actually this boy is quite functional. he is relatively verbal and if he no longer has meltdowns will be able to function..
My heart goes to this family. My husband and I have 2 children with autism and I can relate.
Much respect to both parents, and hope Darius can get better as days go by! He seem like a very lovely boy
big respect for Darius's parents
Remarkable patient parents who clearly lovely their son. Equally so, the young man clearly knows he is very much loved by his parents.
I'm sure the upbringing for Darius will help him to be a wonderful being!
I am mildly autistic, now a student in SUTD. I find myself having difficulty with the curriculum and just two days ago, my father broke down in front of me. I mean, I am trying to be understood, whereas it seems in my family, traditional values have led to deep internal turmoil.
Same here, my son is 22. And I can't live forever. I surrender to God.
these two parents are amazing
Darius seems like he has the kindest heart
you don’t have to say sorry to the public!!! our society should be more accepting
the public must be educated
No. They decided to have him and need to take responsibility for bad behavior in public.
@@zerotodona1495 stupid uh u. How old are u?
@@zerotodona1495 How should parents do that in the case of an autistic child, then, if I may ask?
What do you mean by they "chose to have him"?? You probably don't know this but Autism, ADHD etc are not things you can diagnose before the baby is born. Does knowing this fact change your view?
So much patience and love by the parents to Darius. They even prepare him to be independent should they are gone one day. Somehow, I teared watching this video.
*Darius you’re going to be an amazing person in future. I’m proud to say that Darius parents are the most loving, caring and understanding people. God blessed them! ❤️*
Thanks for your sharing Darius's Daddy and Mummy. Your sharing will let the society be more acceptance and have more understanding towards Autism.
You all have done a great job! Including Darius! You all have bring him up well and really been there for him. We shall not take everything good for granted yet be grateful for each others.
im sure he will be a fine man one day. dont worry about him....we will all pray for his well being.....jia you
A really wonderful family, what a precious & loveable child! Thank you for sharing your family ❤️.
Thank u for showing this. Our family is in the early journey of asd. There are challenges but we are happily flapping in this rainbow road of ours. Cheers to all parents of asd kids and wish you all the strength!
I didn’t get diagnosed till 15. My issue was that people kept saying “everyone can focus so can you” when I couldn’t be in a conversation with people and speak in turn people thought I was being rude, annoying, and bullied me as a result. I blamed myself, and it affected my mental health greatly
My son is 11 and has the same challenge as you do. It’s important to remember that you are different good. The way you see things is uniquely you and it means you might see a solution or perspective others don’t. That can be very important.
Very beautiful family of 3. May God continue to bless this family
Autism and Tourette is the common issue on the raise of the society which not much normal people know about it. normal people view them as a weird/ no self discipline or public nuisance adult/children. The father should not even need to apologies to those normal people in the first place at all.
love Andrea hope for Darius that he can contribute back to society in which ever way he could
he is now, he teach us to accept different people.
Many kids diagnosed autism are very very smart in their particular ways. Some can paint very well, some can do math very well. You just need to find what he's interested in.
As for outsiders' views , it's irrelevant. You can't expect everyone to pay attention to others' special needs in this kind of society.
Amazing parents, i’m sure he will grow up into a kind hearted independent man. 😊
Commendable parents. Well done!
Singapore has a world class education system, and now our government is looking into being an inclusive society. Our societal transformation is inevitable. It is a great move towards creating awareness in Singaporeans of how SPEN kids and family strive to fit into our society, whatever maybe possible. And, the next step forward and a reflection of our true progression is for Singaporeans to accept and embrace SPEN kids as part of our society. After acceptance, then we can derive solutions. Eventually, we can appreciate and harness the untapped potential or gifts that SPEN kids can and will bring.
Indeed, for us to be a truly developed nation inclusion is important
I am proud to see this father of this special child engaging.
Such a sweet boy.
He is so lovely & handsome. He need more love & concern.
Hope you do good man. Stay strong.
He seems to be a nice boy God Bless him and his parents.
Wishing him well
He didn’t choose to be this way. Hope he learns to live his life the best he can. Good luck & much love to children everywhere. ❤
Beautiful family ❤️ May god bless them always 🙏🏾
Patience is important key as possible
Special and lovely!
hope society will be more accommodating to accept and support them as person with special needs
He’s very well spoken actually.
Adorable boy❤
Darius has beautiful handwriting.....
This hits hard to home cause my sister is autistic as well and her mannerisms are almost exactly like Darius here. We always wonder what will happen after my parents are too old to care for her, but there's some comfort in the fact that she has my brother and I.
I have a 35-yr-old son with autism. He is high functioning, has a job and drives, but has trouble understanding how the world works. His sister has promised us that she will step in and take our place watching over him when we're gone. I am so grateful for both my children! Our son's condition has brought us all closer together.
Great job Darius
May your son to be always well
Important key as bring big and later on that understanding on education as time to time..no worry..
a lot of respect. I wish I can help them in any kind of way. He seems like a very lovely boy. I wish there is some courses to us, how to engage with them so in case next time we can know how to react.
They should teach this in school.
There are some courses under ARC
Hope for the best.
I feel sorry for those people who typed in a very insensitive comments right here! They are the worst of worst human beings. If these worse humans can walk freely and live a sorry life, kids/people with special needs will have a nicer and loving life. They will always have someone who will really really care for them. So parents, just believe and do everything you can as long as you are there and the rest will be fine.
There is a saying ~Everything has to be fine at the end, if it’s not fine then it’s not the end🥂~
Sadly not everyone will understand, they would look at them with such disgusted face.
His parents of family Worked so hard to make their child be mature and independent of curing autism. He is now the stage of teenage years at the age of 14 years old, so one day at 4 years later age of 18 that he will join the military service to make him more mature and teaching independent like exercise without harming. I wish, I am willing to back in time at age 13 at January 2018 to make my life be better and mature of doing things right, for my life to be true as a person😭😭
You are such a wonderful boy. Stay patience and love yourself abundantly!
Look like I was blushing about Darius when he was around
him being non verbal is a huge problem. i hope he is able to communicate in the future
Community Engagement should be made mandatory in schools.
Current VIA program is ineffective, most teachers and students take the easy way out and focus only on serving the elderly. Should ensure that kids serve different communities including special need children, blind and mute etc.
This will allow future generation to understand various underprivileged community and be more accepting towards them.
Youth Corps Singapore is doing a great job, y'all reading this, go join YCS.
All the best
Strong parent
That couple who asked the dad why Darius behave that way should step up for us to curse them LOL
Just tell them that he has autism... full stop!
@@pokvictor if they even care about that, those wouldn’t happen
👍🏽 Your child will be fine in the kindness of others in the society! Others stare because you have a 'star' 'e' your family. Doesn't matter that they don't understand :)
Unfortunately this is the reality we would need to face. we came alone in this world and we gonna go through it aline. It's great he has parents to help him,- but eventually he will be by himself. We cannot put pillows everywhere to support all the possible faults. But maybe you will find for him the way to be in this world or he will adapt in some kind of community for people like him. Parents also can risk and raise 2nd kid in the family or they can adopt someone's else kid and raise him to support their son.
we will guide him don't worry
Happy to see they are doing ok
Sad to see how tired and fatigue both parents are
Sending only positivity
both parent did a wonderful job. they're so patient. I have a neighbour who had autism. although for us we do understand he had autism, but it always made us triggering anger whenever he shouts right infront of our window as it always made us jumped out of our sofa. and almost every few days both the mom and the child would kept on shouting while quarrel with one another. as I grow older, I understand that not only autism parents, even normal parents tend to be worried for their child/children's future. especially with the rising cost of everything, especially this year, parents tend to be get even more worried if their child/children able to afford a place to live in the future, especially nowadays hdb flats were insane expensive. Im an adult but i alway fall sick every few days, it very hard for me to get a job as my main concern was whether I could get through the day as majority of the time Im either drowsy or dizzy, and on some days im extremely fatigue partly due to thyroid. I cant secure a job neither do I think I could get through the day for the job as im always insanely fatigue, even staying at home I always get tired easily. and lately my mom was rather worried for my future, so she paid off the housing loan with her cpf, thinking that in the future at least I have a place to live in since nowadays flat were 4-5 times more expensive. but it turned out flat werent even allowed to be given to their child for free. it turned out that in the future child/children had to pay back to parent's cpf with interest inorder to carry on living in the flat, especially in the future when parents no longer around. especially the lease were 99 years, it doesnt cover owners' child lifetime, especially if the child live past 99 years, would have place to live in when past 100 years old. after realising this, I wished someone had told us earlier, I would rather my mom have more for her retirement then using all to pay off the housing with her cpf. its a cycle, parents worried for their child/children's future while child worried for their parent's future/retirement.
If you don't own any property you can legally make the flat as yours if you're living with your mum. Just go HDB with the owner and add in your name as another owner (not occupant) under the transfer of ownership. Then both of you will be legally owning the flat together. So if either party passed on, the flat will belong to the surviving party automatically. No other siblings is allowed to take the flat if you are part of the owner. Doubt there is a need to repay back anything under transfer of ownership for the surviving person.
He’s so cute and smart boy
My respect to the parents
Every family should have at least 3 children so that they could take care of their siblings when their parents will not be there anymore and also take care of parents in their old age
If you teach him all the basic daily living activities, he should be able to be independent some. I pray when he gets to be an adult, there will be safe people around he knows he can trust to guide him if he needs it. 🙏
Hope our government ministry MCCY could provide more support to the parent with special needs.
Don't worry too much. Do your best to take care of him. THE one who created him (Allah) will take care of him when we are not around to.
Jiayou Darius
Even as a parent with a normal kid, I already have many worries like how he will cope with studies, in future, work, NS, married life and life without me etc..
So I can imagine how much more worries to raise a child with special needs.
Hope there is a medical cure for this condition soon.
When the climate disaster hits all your worries will be wiped out
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️n support
Maybe an app in which they can select icons or type out their sentences would help to facilitate communication
Very sad. Life can be very cruel!!
Ignore public scrutiny, you got your own work in communication..it's not bad behavior,it's consistent needs for better pattern. I hope you find his numbers solution
To Darius' parents : Congrats on being great and loving parents. In our world where everything seems to be politically correct, we don't need to say sorry or give excuses on who our kids are ( my 2nd child was born with down syndrome). Pls continue to give him lots of stimulation to achieve learnings and experiences. Our kids will be the ones providing joy and hope to a depressed and despondent world. God bless 🙏❤
In Australia there are group homes for these disadvantaged children. Self reliance is the key for his happy living. I notice the Chinese parenting is over protective. I deoebdeht spirit for everyone including men and women.
Ask Singapore Family Service Centre's social workers about the adult autistic home in Singapore.
Have you thought of teaching him sign language? Maybe, he could learn that. He seems to understand speech at least to a limited extent, so maybe he could learn to put gestural symbols together.
I'm no expert on neither sign language nor autism, so don't take my suggestion as one coming from an expert.
P.S. At 5:10, he says,"Smile" and another phrase. So, he seems to be able to produce sounds and entire sentences (repeat them).
There is an amazing language learning organization called Language Transfer. They make awesome free courses. The courses work by having the student form sentences in the target language whilst the teacher helps the student focus on only the thing they need to be thinking about at that time. In other words, the teacher helps the student divide a complex sentence into smaller parts to form the complete sentence thought by thought.
The method is not based on repetition at all - rather it's based on the student thinking their way through. The traditional belief is that kids learn language by repeating what others say, but that's not really how languages are learned. Many language programs are based on this false belief.
I brought the above organization and its courses up because I wonder if there is something similar for autistic people and others who struggle to form sentences. I've heard of a math game that taught a Mexican-American to finally speak full sentences, because thanks to the game, he learned how to divide large things (e.g. sentences) into smaller bits to construct the whole.
You should not be sorry about it. Those who discriminate should be sorry instead
I am very much worse off. I am suffering from mild autism, cerebral palsy and hearing impaired. I am aware of what is going to happen to me in future.
My biggest worry is what happened to me once my parents gone?
I will be sent to stay with my relatives, which I don't really like.
The reason: my relaive will control my life, treat me like a kid.
Did you read the article on Disability by ST reporter , Ms Goh Yan Han?
One person stated that disabled person should be able to live independently in his/her own home.
But in reality, it is not always feasible in the case of autistic, and intellectually disabled.
My life will be very sad...
Hi maybe you can try seek advice from MCCY?
@@yen7315 thk u . I will go to Enable SG ,the statuory board formed by Govt to deal with disability issues
I will do that when time comes
I am just airing my views on issues facing us in future
I am sorry to hear of yr concern. I have a 23 yrs old autistic son. He is non verbal n need help to bathe himself. As mother I do worry of his future too but I am lucky to have 3 other sons. I hope they will take good care of him. I even chose to have a fourth child so they could share responsibilities in the future. I wish you well and hope u find good loving people to be around you.
@@evaozi1633 Your other kids aren't your autistic son's insurance. Better never let them feel like their responsibility is taking care of your autistic son because they will resent you and him.
@@treelo11.Will my kids resent me? May b. But what choices do I have? So as family we all will take care of him. Even now everyone gets involved bcos I am old n tired. In a way my kids shd thank this special brother.Instead of spending my hard earned me on me n enjoy it like others I will make sure each of them have a house near each other so they can support each other. That's the very least I can do to ease their responsibilities.
Well this is nature of real world. Everything have good and bad. Many people say think positive, how many really is. Special needs child will stay with you and love you when they become teenage or adult because their world likely only you. Normal one when growing up how many really want to stay with you if you can't make up for his or her demand. Demand you for what you demand for them. Wishing you to leave them sooner. To overcome the special needs mindset, I think MOE should rethink how they managed special school. It is really special than what they said to be inclusive. They running to help businesses and economic stability that helping them to learn and be included to the society. You will know what I mean if you are a special needs teacher or have involvement with special needs organisation.
After jab l feel much better
Early appointment
Join a church and see see if there’s anyone from the church that can sort of “welcome” him as a family member.
Very sad to see all these things happening in the world. City harvest church has special needs services for all age groups, many people can assist and help your family . 😊
Both of you are awesome. Your son is special. Every child is unique in God's eyes. Just that an autistic child lives in his or her own world. I can see the efforts both of you try to integrate him into society. I have known some parents who hide their child at home. Both of you deserves our respect. He is not abnormal, he is just more absorbed in his own world. Sincerely hope more people will take away the stigma of labelling autistic children as abnormal, they can be more intelligent and gifted in some areas than most children. Your son is sweet and adorable. Hope to see more videos from you guys.
Darius is not less, but blessed differently.
More given in his ❤️love for daddy and mammy.
U both are great parent, believe in that and stand straight in public. No need to avoid. Darius will need to be used to crowds also. U dont have to meet the expectations of 100% public non-understanding.
Darius think different. [Apple Inc]
watch the accountant
Special kid hard to take care..
he is boy..much safer..
Boy..not so worry..
You can tell the father is worn out.
May i be more kind and understanding person towards special needs kids
Please look at Suramin in the future.
Have another child to take care of hum