I let Twitch Chat make their own D&D campaign
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- čas přidán 2. 04. 2024
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About DougDoug:
Doug is a sentient bell pepper who was hired by the FBI to crack gaming challenges and also talk about things with food
#dougdoug #twitchchat #dungeonsanddragons - Hry
We are officially sold out of DougDoug MugMugs! That went ridiculously quick, thank yall so much for the support and enjoying our stupid mug, I really hope you like it. We'll almost certainly make another batch of the mugs later this year so if you missed it this time around stay tuned for even more mugs in your mughole
The DougDoug MugMug is better at 2D platformers I heard
I agree with this comment ⬆️
rest in peace. it was truly the mug of all time 😔
Cool
r/wehatedougdoug will hear about this
I love how the Mug Mug shows two mugs breaking, and in the next scene says they are indestructible... I love the old style advertising.
*previous scene
edit: this was wrong. my bad.
Only a mug can destroy a mug.
@@ordinaryratno it was the next scene
it shows the true power of the mug mug. the only thing worthy of defeating it is another mug mug
This isn't Mays style, this is 90s-00s toys advertising
I love how the stupid bear was created as a joke at the start but the other party members were so unhinged that he ended up as the most normal, rational, and indispensable one by the end
Frying pan is frylock, bear is meatwad, and doug is master shake
Knuckles from the boom tv show
TAVERN
@@doughboywhinewho tf is frylock
aqua teen hunger force
For those of you who didn't watch the full stream, they left out in the end after Doug destroys all of Canada, he rolls a nat 20 for the Meth Mines to survive and he lives the rest of his life in them.
LMAO THATS INCREDIBLE
@@goobygoobert IS THAT YoU???? GOOB?!?!?!?!??!
"These were supposed to be evil. I made them look aggressive. And you just teamed up with them to cook a bunch of goblins!"
Ah, the trials and tribulations of a new DM.
*Any DM
This happened in the first dnd game I played. My monk spoke goblin for some reason, and I rolled a nat 20 on the speech check and we made allies with the goblins trying to mug us. They were great allies, ngl. Hobgoblin carried
The timestamp is 35:44 for anyone not in the loop
@@manofmanynames_thank you!
Turns out it wasn't a time staff. It was a thyme staff, a very useful magical item that can summon almost any herb or spice.
how does this not have more likes?
except for thyme
@@Vulpilux🤣🤣
And it can also control thyme!
And it was said to be used by Pringles, who went down in history as The Hero of Thyme. Well, would have had everyone not have died so there was no point for Doug to write a history book.
Some random guy coming up with the idea to make Doug’s main ability to Beat up 6th Graders and that becoming the single most important thing in the campaign’s story despite it seemingly being way too specific to be useful at first has to be my favorite DougDoug thing I’ve experienced live.
To be honest, it never WAS useful, it just kind of forced Doug (DM) to make nearly every NPC they encountered a 6th Grader.
@@manologamerss5801 Excuse me, that's called world building!
That is just the most dungeons & dragons thing ever
@@Outside998 I don't know if one of a character's three abilities is supposed to be literally just forcing the DM to do something that never directly impacts the character. It's like if some character's ability was to fight red things and then the DM just made the goblins you fight red, with no other implications. In fact, that's literally what happened he changed what the goblins are so that his ability could be used to do nothing he couldn't do already. It was still funny, but ultimately useless.
Hey being funny is better then being useful. Also that's probably why Doug could still do a fire punch @@manologamerss5801
I love how when Doug makes the campaign ahead of time and gives a story to follow, it's a very sweet story of teamwork and rekindling lost love, but when he lets Chat do it it's a horrific scribblefest of giving cocaine to 6th graders and helping the enemy. 10/10 would chat again
Pretty much what i expected from twitch chat.
Heh “sweet story”
It was a murder fest and arson in one story
@@dragonlord9957 It was a sweet arson fest. This campaign was just chaotic evil turned into a series of events.
@@Satellaview1889most twitch chats are chaotic evil, its just kinda how most are, so a dnd campaign made by twitch chat would play out the same way
“And then, literally no one lived happily ever after except Doug. In fact, nobody lived at all except Doug.”
Pringle saying that the geese are friends, not food right after saying he wants to cook them is such a character assassination. They really dropped the ball with season 2.
NO! It was character development! He realised the errors of his ways and became a better person
@@stanisawkrzyzaniaktheoviraptor Ugh. I can't believe you are trying to justify this crap. This studio really fell off after the director's divorce, but I guess they can still make money since the fanboys will never care smh 🙄🙄🙄
He changed when he realized they were eating goblins
@@strongerthanever2039omfg there is always some contrarian like you who thinks they’re special for not liking something popular. Season 2 of fantasy Canada has far better reviews and nearly everyone agrees it’s superior. Just because your reading comprehension wasn’t able to understand the subtle development doesn’t mean everyone else failed to.
@@plugshirt1762 yeah and youll just watch anything will you? face it dude this shows gone woke. they dont care about good writing or even cocaine anymore just woke garbage
I remember watching this live, my favourite part was DougDoug saying he wanted to do a short and simple improv DND stream and then he spent nearly three hours setting everything up.
ten minute session 0, in and out
Dougdoug try not to waste everybody's time as he remains incompetent challenge *(DIFFICULTY: IMPOSSIBLE)*
@@A_Toaster wuh
5 minute coding adventure, as always
We need more of the dnd streams and maybe Chat and Doug try to take over a fantasy continent filled with countries by Chat and Doug
10:34 Doug, the man from Missouri, got Isekai’d into Canada? That’s called *a road trip.*
No, no. Canada isn’t real.
Chloroform and a van is how real-world isekai work!
No it's fantasy canada
I demand a live-action remake of this story. Doug can be Egg, Parkzer can be Pringle, Jerma can be Doug, Samwitch can be the evil ex-queen, Pointcrow can be the king, and a computer with speakers spewing out TTS from chat can be Goob.
Vinny plays as the rat mafia
@@meat7490 yeow
“Is this the milking stream?”
“No 🗿”
*continues talking about arson*
Doug explained at some point that all of his streams are milking streams, because of how he's milking his audience for their money.
I think I’m going insane, I think I am invisible. Do you see me
@@randomacts1767 no 🗿
@@randomacts1767no 🗿
@@randomacts1767 huh? Who said that???
DOUG DOUG
MUG MUG
This is better than zorbies
the extreme energy of the narration got me😭
(10 videos later)DOUG DOUG RUG RUG
*DOUG MUG*
I like how he fully admits the design is atrocious and you probably won't be able to drink out of it
Huge missed opportunity to have "Pregnant Woman" as a class, and it be like, a mech suit for the unborn child
"i woke up in another worlds canada, now i need to stop 6 graders from causing a nucular winter" is gonna be an absolute banger when the anime adaptation drops in winter 2027
I pray that we’re out of the Isekai era by then lol
i imagine that 'fire punch' isnt some kind of magic, he just covers his fists in gasoline, lights it and then just beats the shite out of someone
In this it is a salsa punch in the end anyway.
Especially a 6th grader
@@yuki97kira2 times damage multiplier
Same
Exactly like 1d4+1 self damage for and extra d6 burning damage to your punch
12:07 The TTS for "D:" had such fitting emotion behind it lmao
D!
D!
D!
D!
That happens often in these types of videos and I love it every time
5:24 you know it's a good video when "pregnant is not a class" is in the first six minutes
I love how Doug didn't even start the challenge and twitch chat already created a bear with polio. Beautiful
But yet they don't have the imagination to come up with a better shape shift then "chair." LMFAO
@@ThatonefuckinguyBut chair is god, chair is life.
Being able to transform into the main character of the dougdoug centimatic universe is pretty op@@Thatonefuckinguy
That ad style is so nostalgic
That’s what I’m sayin
Ikr, they need to bring it back
Kicked me right in the feels
It hit the right spot inside me
🔥🗣️ DOUG DOUG, MUG MUG 🗣️🔥
This isn’t the sequel we wanted, but it is what we deserved
"HOLY FUCK NO WE WEREN'T ACTUALLY GONNA SET IT OFF" got me roolin man
Plot twist: Doug is just really really high, and all the 6th grade goblins are just normal schoolchildren and everything else in the story is just hallucinations, but he’s causing real harm to everyone
so they are cooking children...?
The nuke symbolizes the police trying to stop him
@@Boba_fett327 no, they're just taking swimming lessons in a regular swimming pool. doug hallucinated the geese, the volcano, and the cooking
So who were the rats and what were they drowing in?
@Dinoman972 maybe they were just normal rats in the sewer or something and the mafia and cheese stuff was just because he was high? Idk
I find it hilarious how in the first few seconds, he says it's engineered to be indestructible right after he shows a broken one in a beyblade arena. Dougdoug being Dougdoug.
Only breakable when used as a weapon against other mugs
Hey he said it was _engineered_ to be indestructible, not that it _was_ indestructible
@@Chairman351 It is both the unstoppable force and the immovable object at the same time
i love how the geese are meant to be a giant enemy, but twitch chat just teams up with them to cook six goblins
I'm gonna try to make backstories for the 3 main characters
PRINGLE
This pan gained sentience after it was near the super-famous food critic who was roasting the food its own metal self contributed to in a popular cooking competition. The first thing the pan saw was that food critic and immediately knew it desired to be just like him. It set out to find its true personality as a food critic, and this adventure with Egg and Doug from Missouri was part of the process. This pan is still striving to be the best food critic to this day.
EGG
This poor bear wasn't raised well in his cubhood. Egg's low-income parents were evicted out their den when Egg was only 5 months old, and they had to live in the forests until Egg was able to (barely) survive on his own. He developed an addiction to drugs like most other cubs in the trees, and specifically for him, it was cocaine. The cocaine messed Egg's body up so badly that when he ran into his parents, they didn't recognize him, nor did he recognize his parents. He is attempting to go clean, so far he's gone 17 days clean. He's still dealing with withdrawal, and he found his 2 friends, Pringle the sentient frying pan, and Doug, the arsonist from Missouri recently. By some miracle, only he remembers him and his friends being called "the chosen ones" by a wizard or something like that. Also something about Fantasy canada...
DOUG FROM MISSOURI
Born in Columbia, Missouri in 1961, Doug was never well-behaved in school. He pulled the fire alarm trigger at every moment he could, and every punishment he received, no matter how severe, went straight over his head. Doug was a high school dropout, and he always talked of lighting his old school ablaze after moving out. It's clear that this man cared about nothing else but fire. He was always restrained from lighting the fireplace in the morning, he watched the smoke come out from the chimney for hours on end, he wanted to be cremated alive right before he flatlined, the list goes on. He even became a serious Pyro main in TF2. And now that he's become good friends with Pringle and Egg, he has even crazier ambitions to light the entire world on fire. Who knows where this man will go next.
What about my boy goob?
@@VictorisShadowpooped his pants. Cried.
I'm so glad the D&D videos are becoming a series, both of the episodes so far have been absolutely hilarious
Next is DnD but made by AI
@@HereButGone-SorryFerretfr? Did he stream that or is it just an idea
@@asterglaceonMost recent dougdougdougdoug is Doug vs Chat robbing the house using AI, it's not RPG one-shot, it's a conquest game (collect resources to win). I can't find AI RPG in vods and hopefully it will stay this way: this concept was done too many times at this point for a good stream.
@@AM-yk5yd oh yeah I was there for the beginning and end of that stream, I really like those AI conquest vids and so I hope that comes out soon or else I’ll just watch the vods
This is a dark, twisted story of the evil heroes who destroyed Fantasy Canada.
Pringle the Obsidian Pan who was so consumed with lust for cooking tasty food that he boiled goblin 6th graders alive and seasoned them so they'd taste better. Also shown to be a coward who'll bail out when the going gets tough by using his powers to swap places with someone else. Even so, he was the only one who attempted to prevent the coming desolation.
And Doug. AKA "the evil one," "the destroyer," or simply the crackhead. Who, for no discernable reason, ignited the nuke to destroy Fantasy Canada and made off with the gold.
Oh there was also a weird bear that followed them around offering coke to everyone.
Egg and Goob did nothing wrong
@@gugol1
Goob realized they were evil and tried to take everyone down in the cheese forest
The rat is the best character smh
I thought Pringle was female
@@gugol1goob was a sixth gader
I love the degree of separation between this run and the other one with the Barbarian, the Magician and the Bard. It's the duality of fantasy storytelling.
The original run was all lighthearted fantasy, with likable heroes who were truly friends and a positive, inspiring ending.
While this one is a crazy, cocaine addicted dark fantasy, with psychopaths as protagonists, a morally ambiguous tone and a bittersweet ending.
The two parties should fight
The first one represents what is going on inside Doug's head, the second is what's going on inside Twitch chat's chaotic hive mind
@@ThatGuyRNA most of the second party died
I usually don’t like ads for merch and sponsors but the amount of creativity, effort, and humor Doug put into the ad at the beginning made me actually enjoy watching it plus I just love the 90s style put into it. I wish all ads could be as good as that haha.
I love the fact that Pringle was so clearly the main character, but Doug was the chaotic evil party member who ends up the only one surviving anyway. And Egg, underutilized. So much potential with Polio and Chair.
Pringle was a coward. The moment his plan to stop the nuke didn't work, he tried to escape. Doug was always true to who he was.
@@therealmanguymanweed
@@j-blox2612 True that.
I KNOW! Egg was thew honest to god cocaine bear, he should have gotten more screen time.
I played as an arsonist in a recent campaign. He didn’t mean to arson anything it just happened. Eventually he was tried to be hanged but arsoned the gallows, unintentionally causing a fire destroying 80% of waterdeep.
Edit: the first time of arson was turning into a dragon to fire breathe a troll and accidentally blasting the alcohol, exploding the tavern.
Wrong place wrong time
HELP I LOVE THAT
Was his name Spencer?
@@SaberAlex no it was Nared the halfling arsonist
@@GranttheGreat_BOTTOM_TEXT Did you at least get the reference?
The windows sound at 14:26 distracting the viewers, while the nat 20 pop corn is supposed to distract the bears is... Chef's kiss !
Holy hell-that advertisement for the Mug Mug was actually SO GOOD. He NAILED the vibe of old-style advertisements
37:12 “don’t ask that question in any context ever”
If we can’t ask that question in THIS context then when are we SUPPOSED to ask the question, DOUG
it fucking killed me when he said that lol
i dunno, havent watched that far yet.
@@j.b.5422have you watched that far yet?
Never, in any context. That's literally what he said.
Read your comment again for the answer.
45:57 bro i can just imagine a dark souls healthbar with Goob's name being "The Corpse of the Crack Crusader, Goob"
this is the quality Magic the Noah content i subscribed for
He learned from their time together
This video actually helped me understand the way DnD is played. I’ve only ever watched people do campaigns, I’ve never been able to join one and figure out how to play.
Something I like about Doug is when there's a failed check but it's close instead of "Well that didn't work that sucks" He makes it so that maybe the path to it continues, or they can still build from it.
thats just how a good dm should be if you ever play dnd
He'd be a good DM
As a Canadian, I can confirm this is 100% an accurate representation of Canada.
(Except for the Geese. Geese are actual hellspawn).
A geese killed my grandmother the things are evil
@@Bluinchplaysno they aren't
Fantasy Canada
@@BluinchplaysWhat grade was your grandmother in
Great question she was in sixth grade but don’t question the logistics of my grandmother being in sixth grade
DougDoug MugMug: exists
Me: I don't need it, I don't need it... I NEED IT!
I love how in the Mug Mug commercial, Parkzer is just completely stone faced while playing Beyblade with the mugs, while everyone else is hyped out of their minds
0:24 that trauma reliving was uncalled
NOOOOOOOOO
*P I S S*
@@Mythos190different video, pal
1 doug 1 mug
Don't worry, this time it's indestructible.
I think the only good deeds that the party did was freeing bears, Pringle saving a rat (a mafia rat which makes it more questionable), helping geese cook (goblins, but they still helped I guess), and Pringle trying to save the king (though they failed and also used the 7th grader as a scramble target to escape).
I guess Egg also gave some 6th graders cocaine which probably balances out their total karma to a nice -999
It's not morally questionable, rats must always be saved
"escape"
Forget chaotic evil, the entire party was chaotic stupid.
I don't know why, but this video is a beautiful beautiful art.
Agreed!
As a Canadian, our king is often threatened by elementary schoolers.
As a DM, this video describes my party scarily accurate 😂 one of my players plays a centaur who lost his human half and is now just a horse who tries to find it
DM = Doug Mug
In my campaign I’m an OP genocidal goblin who cooks dragon and vampire meat and sells it in a food stand with a ballista manned by people saved from Ravenloft. Also it’s set in a non Euclidean city run by cats
@@TranslucentGanon I’m a sad little goblin who can’t make a tent for shit.
@@nullstudios2989 should’ve put points into survival like me. I’m a rouge so I have expertise and I put that on stealth, survival, perception, and acrobatics at the beginning. My play style is to deal *massive* damage at range. I use sneak attack with my small stature and insane stealth to deal an average of 24 damage per arrow. And I have my abilities set up in a way where sometimes I can shoot multiple times a turn. So per round my average is closer to the 30 to 35 range lol. The DM had to look up “ways to make Strahd harder” and we were at level 6 lol. I killed a young white dragon at level 2. Also helps that the rest of the party is insane too lol
@@TranslucentGanon ok
The idea of a giant bee forcing people to spell words correctly with the threat of death if they spell them wrong is both creative and terrifying.
What’s even more terrifying is the bee’s eyes turning red and it yelling out “That’s not how you spell genocide!”
Yes
sleep paralysis beemon
Final boss phase: Spell Nietzsche
@@darkenlightmage Final final boss phase: pronounce that name correctly.
This is the best part of the video
I just realized how broken the dice rolling animation looks because the old die never get cleared so they just stay there forever until Doug does Flame Punch on them and they go away
4:13
Pringle: "Is it c?"
Bee: ...
...
...
"where?"
I found this way funnier than I should've
sobbing at pringle and egg trying to stop the bears and then "IN THE MEANTIME LETS SEE IF YOUR WEED IS GROWING"
That static shot of Parker's face at the beyblade skit was absolutely everything.
Also Egg the Bear just shouting "RUNION" broke me. What an absolute beast. XD
The other two characters seemingly had some sort of thought, however stupid, behind their words and actions. Egg was just unhinged the entire way through
"BABA ZEEWAA"
" Its not about the adventure, it was the friends that we made along the way "
- Dougdoug
It's about the Bic fires we lit along the way
0:31 Good to see the ball pit we ordered is still seeing some use lol
Old Missouri convict goes on an adventure with a bear who has polio and a frying pan. Best D&D campaign ever
the frying pan was the best player by far
I like the implication that any normal guy from Missouri would set off a nuke if they were given the chance
CRITICAL ROLE CAN EAT TI1
@@Nuggette As a Missourian, fuck yeah I would
45:57 I donated that “I pooped” and Doug did say the king shat himself, but they didn’t show it in the vid here! 😢
I think Doug hates you
your message was relegated to a lore bit you can only find out about by reading the novels
I read that on the 8th book! The king shit himself wasn't on the movie, I was pissed!
BETRAYAL:
A bot stole this comment and they got more likes than this real comment 😢
50:14 And then doug got re-isekai'd back to missouri where he lived happily ever after
(Also he got arrested for growing weed, not paying his taxes and mercilessly beating 6th graders to death, getting the death penalty... but he was happy before that happened.)
gotta love that throughout the entire journey, Doug didn't grow a single leaf of weed
also not gonna lie. should of casted Polio on the nuke to paralyze it from exploding, could of worked
30:56 the fact that "Geese ub the middle of a drug deal" was submitted by a chatter named RandomDuckNerd cracked me up good
Quacked you up good
@@BunkerFoxdon't egg him on.
@@mandowarrior123 Ah but its fun to ruffle a few feathers ya know
16:40 was the purest little giggle I've ever heard out of Doug 😭
I'm so glad someone else noticed lmao
For real!! Same
ahe
The mug mug description on the dougdoug shop website for the mug is very similar to rockstar's goofy description style when you want to buy a car or a plane in gta online. "In a world where the ordinary fades into obscurity, there emerges a beacon of opulence. Introducing the DougDoug MugMug, the epitome of indulgence, crafted by the illustrious artisans at DouglasDouglas.
A symphony of innovation and sophistication, the DougDoug MugMug is not merely a vessel, but a statement-a testament to the uncompromising pursuit of excellence.
Weighing more than a pound when unfilled, the DougDoug MugMug commands respect, a heavyweight champion among lesser vessels. With a capacity of 25oz, it offers an abundance of liquid luxury, promising to quench even the most insatiable thirst.
The DougDoug MugMug-because true luxury knows no bounds.
PLEASE NOTE: The DougDoug MugMug is somewhat difficult to drink from. Please use caution when using this item."
Ngl I think the best character is probably Egg because I love the idea of a bear that speaks only one or two words and they can turn into a chair and give polio to everyone is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen (I would love to see a part 2 of this)
By god, this mug is perfect…..
It’s enough to make a grown man cry….
But not this man
@@michaelchance6125woman?
@@marceresrellios1600 what
@@michaelchance6125woMAN
@@michaelchance6125 women ☕️
From the ad start to the explosive finish, this is a masterpiece. 10/10
I can imagine this becoming a very long season. DougDoug, please make more of these.
7:42 dougs" no" and the quick cut back to the tts made me lol
Same 😂😂😂
Berry is the most convincing bearded 6 year old I've ever seen
this is so fucked up
This was one of the most entertaining videos I have seen.
I love this concept. Everything was unhinged and you never knew what was going to happen.
The erase wipe for Canada just after the campaign starts is fun at 11 minutes in. Now that i'm near the end, all the wipes have been cool post-edit stuff. The little details are great. My favorite two things you've done actually happened near each other I think. The DND campaign was fire, as well as the pajama sam. So good. I will never not hear that character (bear/egg) as the half-orc. It's imprinted.
A Missed Joke Here, when the frying pan seasons the floor with the time staff, could have used a time joke about being a new season, and changing everything up in the room to be later in time.
9:07 I love the attention to detail of how the characters start floating when the background is outer space
“Literally indestructible” immediately after a clip of it breaking killed me
It hit another one.
This is actually so amazing! I wanna see fan art of the characters. Also your drawing of Goob was genuinely so cute lol. I NEED MORE
I love how if you don't want the MugMug it sends you to the I Hate The DougDoug MugMug T-shirt. which has the same description as the MugMug but all the adjectives are flipped to their antonym counter part.
the only exception being the notes which say
"Please Note, The I Hate The DougDoug MugMug T-Shirt is somewhat difficult to drink from. Please use caution"
and
Please also Note buy at your own risk may look terrible.
you forgot to mention its just an orange shirt with a screenshot of the mugmug store page on it
6:00 i loved it when egg said its polio-ing time and polioed all over the place
Truly the campaign of all time
Knowing I watched the VoD for this made me smile all the better seeing it here. Hope there's more campaigns to be had!
This was literally the best thing I’ve watched ever. Please make more of these.
0:32 Three legends captured in one shot, DougDoug MugMug!!
15:07 the fucking "RUHHH???" from Egg is so stupidly funny
Hey Doug, random dude from Missouri here. I’m so happy we finally have representation in your videos, thank you.
I loveed every second of this. Twitch chat and Doug coming together to create a banger of a story, what a blast to watch
29:27 Have you seen that one thing where the police in Indonesia once burnt $1,000,000 worth of weed weighing over 1000lbs but they accidentally burnt it upwind and got the entire town high on half a ton of weed. If you’re British, that’s over 41 stones!
40:16 omfg for some reason this absolutely SENT me. I couldn’t breath for 32 seconds, and even after I took a breath I still couldn’t
Goob is literally a premium character. You have to pay to play as him
"I miss goob"
the rat part of the mafia was never recognized after being saved and recruited by egg
My headcanon for Egg is that he himself was diagnosed with polio when he was 5. For years, he was paralyzed on his hospital bead, parents crying thinking of their sick child, when one day, when Egg was still a cub in 6th grade, one of his classmates visited him in the hospital and gave him his first hit of cocaine. Egg had been depressed and spiteful at his cursed existence for years, but now, now he felt strength again. NOW, he would show the world what Egg the Chair Bear WAS REALLY MADE OF!!!
Blood pumping faster and faster from the cocaine, Egg lifted himself off of the bed. But not with his muscles. No... those were the tools of weaklings, OF MORTALS! Egg willed his heart to pump blood faster: 200bpm, 300bpm, 400, 500, 600...! His body produced blood faster and faster, increasing the pressure in Egg's veins until they could no longer take it, and they burst. Egg screamed but did not slow his transformation. He knew what must be done. Blood flowed into his arms and legs, using the pressure from the fluid to extend his once useless limbs and pull himself out of his bed. He stood up, blood now leaking out of every opening it could get out of. His classmate looked on in horror at this monster they had created. Egg stumbled, still getting used to this new hydraulic movement. He limped over to one of the cabinets and pulled out a staple gun, proceeding to staple shut every cut, pore, and hole that drained him of his precious blood. With the leaks sealed, he found a new spark of stamina. Still, though, it was not enough. His polio caused other problems besides the paralysis, including but not limited to headache, neck, back, abdominal and extremity pain, fever, vomiting, stomach pain, lethargy, and irritability. He knew he would not get his old life back if he still had to deal with all this bullshit. But in order to purge this acursed disease from his body, he needed more cocaine....
Egg's classmate stood transfixed, looking at Egg, still clutching half a bag of coke, with a mixture of worry and fear on their face. But Egg, in his madness, saw something of disgust and hatred. He howled in rage and charged at them. They yelped and tried to run, but Egg was too fast. He pounced with claws outstretched, and Egg's classmate was pierced through the stomach, dropping the bag. Egg drew his claws back from their abdomen and drove them at the bag, with his head to follow, snorting up every last grain of that miracle drug. He began to laugh, standing taller and taller until he was at the roof, when he looked down and saw his former friend, laying on the ground, bleeding to death, all thanks to him. A moment of his former humanity was able to reach him, and he started to realize what was doing might just be the bad thing. He screamed again, and, head spinning, and flung himself out of the door and into the hallway.
"Egg!" A familiar cry pierced his ears. "What are you doing!?!" It was his Mom, bringing him a bouquet of flowers.
Egg tried to get himself to speak, but no words came out. He stated back at the twitching body of his classmate behind him, and, not knowing what to do, ran to the elevators.
"Wait! Egg! Come back..." a distant voice pleading with him, but he couldn't turn back.
He broke open the door to the elevator and climbed out into the shaft. He sat, hyperventilating, eyes popping, blood rushing: 1200 bpm, 1300 bpm.
"I can't do this!!!" Egg cried to anyone, to no one.
"But you have to," someone replied back to him. "They mean nothing anymore. You are a GOD. Gods don't need people."
"But they're not just people," Egg whispered. "They're family, frien-"
"THOSE AREN'T YOUR FAMILY, CHILD. You're blind. Friends and family, it's all an illusion. Your mortality bleeds out of you, and you will die from it."
"But, they will die, won't they?"
"Of course they will, but they're dying for a good cause. Look at you, Eggward! You're half dead already, and you can't lead our revolution diseased."
"B- but I.... No. You're right. I- I'll purge the virus. It's for the greater good, right?"
"Of course..."
Egg climbed down the shaft and into the lobby. People screamed around him, but he didn't care. It was as if something else was inside him, helping him ignore the distractions. He marched slowly into the center of the lobby, patients and nurses scrambling away. With a raise of his two bloody bear claws, he began to purge the polio out of his body and into the surrounding area.
The hospital began to shake, and through his bloodied vision, Egg could see people collapsing on the ground, just as he did when he was only in kindergarten. He pushed harder, pushing the diseased parts out and replacing them in a matter of seconds. As he pushed the last bits of virus out, he thought again of his parents, friends, and family. The hundreds of thousands of people who would be paralyzed or killed...
"No, no, no. Keep your focus. They're becoming part of something greater now, remember?"
And so Egg pushed his last shreds of mortality from his body with his polio, becoming something greater in the process. And as he did, he felt the building collapse around him, as did hundreds of others across the town.
"It's for the greater good." He thought, now fully convinced.
And everything went black.
And then, you know, he met a talking frying pan and a crazy Missouri man and stuff. The end, goodbye! 👋
Will Doug ever make it back to Missouri? Will the ghosts of Dougs past party members ever get their revenge?
Find out next time on: "Dungeons and Doug!"
Doungons and Dreugons
Love how the ad has Doug and the other dude being typically over the top like they were in those old ads, and then there’s Parkzer with his one expression.
0:09 The Parkzer Toys logo being shaped like a gun made me laugh so loudly that my neighbors are angry at me.
Even a robbery would have been a less effective way to get me to cough up $25
Doug mug changed my life, before I was a weak little young boy with no friends and social life, my family decided to leave me, after i bought the mug, I've been divorced 3 times, making 12 figures a month, can bench 28 plates, and I finally have my own family and legacy of my own, thanks Doug.
28 plates?! Surely that's not true
@@dixitand11gaming64 Its just the power of the doug mug.
TLDR: Douglas takes his chair and pan on an adventure to save the king of Canada. (help he's talking to his equipment like they are real and rolling dice)
This was genuinely one of the best videos I have ever watched on CZcams in my entire life. Let’s go Doug…
dude the nostalgia i felt watch this style of advertisement, thank you so much
classic dnd moment. The dm sets up this scenario where you're supposed to save someone and it turns out your characters are equally evil and just join in
41:12 lmao I love how he just says “…where”
This was awesome! Definitely want to see something like this again. Keep it up!
doug doug uploading twice in the same month is unheard of
I'm just beginning the video and omg-
Omg i love how confused Egg is HAHAHA
"Stand back, i'm going to polio, and then he polio'd all over the place"
Lmao!
as a Canadian I can confirm that this happened in 1983, thank you Doug Doug for spreading the wonderful history of Canada!