HIV Positive at 17 and now a Widow| I've Been Through The Most |Lerato Mtolo
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- čas přidán 19. 10. 2019
- centTWINZ Innocent Sadiki and Millicent Mashile are the producers of their second online show 'I have been through the most'. It's a documentary series that profiles victims who have been through the most in their life's and are now sharing it with the rest of the world to encourage and to hopeful inspire for the better.
This week on the show, we profile Lerato Mtolo. She shares how she got HIV at the tender age of 17 and how she became a young widow. She also tells us how she manage to look at the positive and make the best of life. She is now an entrepreneur and speaker.
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Book available from: 076 107 4691
My mum was diagnosed with HIV when she was pregnant with me. When I was born, The doctor told my parents I had HIV and wouldn't live past 2. Im 25 now, HIV negative and people say God doesnt exist? He did this for me Jehovah Rapha.
It will be the first time i ever tell anyone about this but I was also sexually molested/raped by my older brother from the age of 4 until I was about 8 years or so. I’ve never known what it’s like to be a virgin. I don’t like my brother at all now being 31 years old. He’s 12 years older than me and living with HIV today because he was extremely promiscuous. I thank God that I did not contract any STDs from him. I grew up with this secret and cannot even bear to think of telling my mom and dad. He is my mom’s son from a previous marriage so already this would create a huge divide between my parents. So for that I don’t think I will ever tell them. My mother suffers from stress and I know this would drive her to a severe depression. I grew up a very quiet little girl, shy and untrusting of people. I always felt like I was unloved, misunderstood and that I didn’t belong. I was always sad and crying and my only comfort was my best friend, my dog. I really wish I had someone to talk to back then but I didn’t. So I would speak to my dog and cry for hours while he sat at my side, licking away my tears. It’s hard to say that I don’t hate my half brother. Maybe I don’t hate him at all, but I definitely hate what he did to me as a little girl. He took my innocence away and to this day has never apologized. I hate family gatherings because I have to act like I like this person and I feel like I am in a way, forced to interact with him. I remember one day when I was 10 years old or so he had just gotten released from jail after serving his sentence for attempted murder and came home. It was maybe the second day when I was playing next door with my friends he called me to come home and get some sweets. I knew what he was up to and I refused. He held the sweets out the window and showed them to me as if he was going to give them to me so I fell for it and went back home. He opened the gate and told me to come to his bedroom. He then proceeded to close the door once I was inside his room and locked the door and stood in front of the door to block it. He held the sweets out and asked if I wanted them. I said yes. So he then told me to take off my pants and lay on the bed while he put his hand in his pants holding his penis. I asked him to open the door and he was like just do this one favor for me and there are more sweets and shows me the most sweets I’ve ever seen. He came closer to me and started touching me. Then I remembered what we were taught in school about such situations. So I told him I will scream and I know what he’s trying to do and I don’t like it and I will scream. He backed away and instead of opening the door he took his pants down and told me to hold his penis and I refused. I was so scared that I could not even move. He made me hold his penis and told me to put it in my mouth. That’s when I started crying and he somehow just let me go. I went back next door and told my friends that my brother had just tried to rape me. They comforted me and promised not to tell. After some time my brother called me again to get the same sweets he tried to bribe me with to make me have sex with him. My friends shouted that they know what he is trying to do and they will tell an adult if he tries again. So he just threw the sweets on the ground and my friends went over and got them. They ate the sweets. I did not because they would just remind me more of what had just happened in that bedroom and of the abuse I went through as a 4 year old little girl. I felt dirty and disgusted at myself and because of that o grew up with a very low self esteem. I would love to say I hate my brother but truth is, I feel nothing for him and do not care about him. If he were to die right now, I will not shed even one tear. I grew up wanting to die, because of him. I attempted suicide more than 3 times as a prepubescent girl. I grew up sexually confused and was also taken advantage of, at the age of 9-11 by my cousins, both male and female. My whole life I hated going to a male doctor and to be touched by any male doctor. Even now as an adult I prefer doctors who are women, especially my Gynaecologist. It was hard to share this because I never had anyone I could trust, so I just learned to carry it with me. Perhaps it’s the root cause of my chronic migraines or back pain. I don’t know, but growing up was particularly difficult for me, not trusting anyone, especially males. It was hard. I am now a married mom of 2.
i have never seen such a strong woman who can speak about her life without tears but all smiles,courage and boldness. may God bless this woman with many many years.
I was born with Hiv and here I am I'm standing strong😢😢it's challenging because it was not easy at all..this woman is strong🤞👏big up sisters
Wow 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔 I'm hiv positive and I found out this year I have a three year old daughter, It was hard at first but now I'm free I can talk so thank you alot you give me strength.
I'm a man and I haven't cried in years, but I shed a tear while watching this. Another reminder that we think we know but we have no idea.😢💔
God doesn't give the hardest battles to His toughest soldiers, He creates the toughest soldiers through life's hardest battles, & you are an example of that, your strength is unimaginable & admirable 😢❤❤❤
I don't know what y'all see, but I see a Free Woman.
Thank you so much Lerato for the sharing your story. I am an HIV activist and advocate in Botswana who is also living openly with HIV. I'm 23 years and have been on ARV treatment since age 7. You are such an inspiration, God bless you. Thank you centTWINZ, we need a part 2!
Your story made me tear up a lil, I tested positive when I was 22, I was raped, it’s been 6years now, I try very to heal but flash backs at times kill me , but I have a very supportive husband that I’m grateful to have in my life, his the only person that knows about my status knowing my family I’m just not ready to go out about it at this moment, thank you so much for sharing your story sis ♥️♥️
"Sometimes some people they dnt go through a lot, they litteraly go through everything"
Love her choice of words. So matured. You can feel her sense of forgiveness from what she had to endured. She is free! He whom the Father sets free is free indeed!
Sis Lerato...you are not powerful, you are literally the power and force.
Dont let people raise your kids, try by all means to do it yourself and be there for them.
JESUS, her voice is spell-bounding, such a visual storyteller. Every single word carried a special meaning. Amazing woman
I'm never gonna cry and feel sorry for myself. There's people who has been rough it all and still have the desire to live.
When you be through a lot, you can’t cry anymore.
We need more men like her husband in society R.I.P. We especially need more people to openly speak up about HIV. Thank you sister for sharing.
Wow this means alot I'm was also diagnosed with HIV 3years ago when i was pregnant with my daughter who is now 2years old and as we speak my partner her father passed away on Monday so me seeing this now means alot not only am I adjusting to being a teenage mom but a single mom
My prayer: JESUS, come quickly. This world is not my home