3 Things To Expect When Dating A Widower!
Vložit
- čas přidán 6. 08. 2024
- Dating a widower can be a great thing! But also has it's challenges. In this video i give you the truth on what to expect when this happens. My dating advice comes from years of experience coaching widowed couples and understanding how the brain works when it comes to loss and infidelity. Widowers and dating a widow sometimes find it hard to move on at times. Even when they thought they've made their mind up sometimes emotions can arise to make them want to take some steps back in the relationship. So I talk to you about how to handle this even if your dating a widower over 60. These dating tips are still relevant to anyone no matter how old you are. So enjoy the video!
LINKS:
**PRIVATE COACHING SESSIONS **
www.apolloniaponti.com/privat...
[ONLINE DATING RESULTS FOR MEN]
www.apolloniaponti.com/online...
[MASTER YOUR CONFIDENCE -AUDIO SEMINAR]
www.apolloniaponti.com/master...
[OVERCOME NEEDINESS & ATTACHMENTS]
www.apolloniaponti.com/Overco...
[HOW TO TEXT A WOMAN AND BOOST ATTRACTION]
www.apolloniaponti.com/how-to...
[ BLOG ]
www.apolloniaponti.com/blog/
[ FREE EBOOK ] 7 COMMON MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHEN ATTRACTING A WOMAN
www.apolloniaponti.com/7Commo...
[FREE MANUAL] 20 QUESTIONS TO ASK A WOMAN TO GET TO KNOW HER TRUE SELF
www.apolloniaponti.com/20-dee...
[SOCIAL MEDIA]
Facebook: / apollonialov. .
Instagram: / apollonia_ponti
[CONTACT ME] **PLEASE SEE NOTE BELOW
NOTE*** Advice will ONLY be given to your situation if you book a coaching session. If you cannot afford a session please reference my blogs and videos as this is why I provide this content. Due to volume and fairness to paying clients please book a session if you need further guidance. Appreciate your understanding.
Media, coaching questions, and interviews: info@apolloniaponti.com
Apollonia Ponti
Good For You by THBD / thbdsultan
Creative Commons - Attribution 3.0 Unported- CC BY 3.0
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
Music promoted by Audio Library • Good For You - THBD (N...
The ones we lose are not exes. They are our late spouses.
I am a widower who is now dating a widow. We both understand we will always love our late spouses. We have talked about our people at length. There are a lot of memories & history, especially when we were with someone over 24 years
so you have a friend with benefits not a romantic partner
I lost my wife (soulmate, lover and best friend) to cancer in July 2019…..we were both in our 60s…..there was many times that I didn’t know if I could go on… my thought was to find another widow because she would have similar life experiences….I signed up on a dating site and after some time found a widow…..we have such similar histories it was almost eerie….. we’ve had our ups and downs but are going strong approaching two years…
Love can happen again!!
That’s wonderful!
Do you both keep photos up of your deceased spouses?
I married a Widower. I know & accept that he will always love his late Wife. He is able to love me, as well. He deserved a chance to have love in his life again. I was divorced & wanted to remarry, also. We met on Valentine's Day & fell deeply in love. We have been married for 3 years now & remain very much in love & very happy to have found love again late in life! He is the best man I have ever met! He treats me well & makes no comparisons. If he never said he loves me again, I would know that he does because of his actions towards me. He is a very mature & wise man to be able to move on the way he has! I am grateful for it! But for him, I would have remained single for life. I couldn't find any other man who compares to him.
🎯
Hi hi Pat how are you?
I wish more women were reasonable like you.
Lost my wife of 24 years 22 months ago. You need to realize that a widower will always grieve on some level at what they’ve lost. A widower can hold multiple feelings at the same time, love and loss, happiness and sadness. He will always love his late spouse but that does not mean that he cannot love you as well.
Lost my husband of 24 years 24 months ago!I agree with you!
Beautifully said
Thank you ❤
@Joel maners,you said it well.
I lost mine 6years a go.
I really grieved alot,but i feel i am ready to mingle and life has to gobon.
It is comforting to have expressed how I’ve felt. It will be 5 years in December & I haven’t wanted to date yet. When I’m ready I will not want to settle. I’d rather be alone than not to have real love & happiness💗
My greatest piece of advice if you are dating a widower is to allow them the freedom to openly talk about their late wife and share the relationship with you. It will help you understand their relationship type. It will also draw him to you if he feels like you are not trying to get rid of her. She will always be there. His affection for you is different. Make your own place in his heart. Don’t rush him to move too fast through the grieving process but walk through the process with him.
I am dating a widower. It has been one of the most awkward and amazing experiences. So much material out there says to not do what you suggest. I agree 100% with you. He speaks of her when appropriate and I let him. Recently he stated he needed to take flowers to her resting place. I asked if I could make a bouquet for him to take. He was overjoyed I had asked and made one. He asked me to join him to go visit her resting place. Filled with all kinds of crazy feelings I agreed. I realized at that moment she had his past and I have future as long as he lets me.
Very wise words
I agree with you a 100%. Don’t rush them to get rid of their feelings
Can I talk to him about my ex who was a big love of my life, maybe always will? Will this information help my widowed partner to understand my relationship type. This might draw me to him if I feel he is not trying to get rid of my ex love. My affection for my current widowed boyfriend is different than it was for my ex love. What do you think?
I lost my wife on Jan 30, 2019 after birthing our son in December 2018. I honestly, do not see how I will ever be right. I told her I was going to work gave her a kiss because we were going on a lunch date in the city. I got a call 20 mins before I left work for our date. I rushed home and I knew and felt she was gone. I am a single dad with emotions going everywhere every day and actively look for help. I am declining, and our son is literally the only thing that is keeping me fighting. I'm not asking for help because she is gone and nobody can fix that. But, it's very difficult.
I feel your pain
Make sure you surround yourself with people that love you and your baby. Definitely try counseling - it can help a great deal! When you're with a group of people that has experienced what you're currently dealing with - it allow you to see that your can make it. Good luck to you - don't give up.
Yes it is difficult. Everybody understands but those who have been through it understand more. You have been given a big job by your wife to raise her son and do her proud. You have been given a gift. Give it time, it will come together. She has a hand in it even though you don't realize it. Stay the course.
Lost my wife of 15 years 3 months ago. She left our 3 kids (twins 13/and 16) and myself behind. It has been very difficult for me. I have found it easier to surround myself with family ie. My mother-in-law father-in-law parents ect. Even when you dont feel like visiting or socializing... it really does help.
Lost my wife a year ago this month, just after our youngest turned 1. This year has been challenging in every aspect, not made better by covid-19. For the kids sake, it helped to keep them in a new routine they could get comfortable with and keep surrounding them with friends and family.
My wife of 38 years suffered horribly with cancer 2 years, and then finally succumb to it... the only woman I had ever known.
we had an exceptional, & passionate marriage. I don't have any tears remembering the good times, but it is hard to hear or see any video of her taken during the last two years. I will weep for an hour or two whenever I do.
I was totally devastated and could not fuction at all when she passed.
I could not drive I could not work I did not want to get out of bed I begin to eat even when I wasn't hungry and even full... I gained and hit 300 pounds. but when I fell in love again... I got my life back.
I had people tell me I should stay single till you quit grieving... well I think I would have eaten myself to death!
But of all the widowers I know who have remarried none of them have ever said, I wish I had grieved alone longer...
To love and to be loved it still the best thing in the world! I say If you find love again, don't wait any more.
Yes I know what you feel, I lost my wife to cancer, she lasted 3 years and we were together for 33 years, my life spiralling out of control, she was my life, it's like you are living in dread, trying to take care of your health but it feels hopeless because you feel like you haven't got anyone to feel or look good for anymore, no it doesn't go away, but eventually it will get better, take care..
Great video! Just lost my wife of 32 years about a month ago. We fought with an illness for a very long time. Still working through grieving issues and spiritual issues. There is a lot we are not aware of in this life that can play a part in the experience of loosing someone dear to our hearts. I'm finding myself having to face different feelings that I was thinking I was prepared for as I dealt with the illness. After my wife crossed over I learned the hard way one is never ready for the experience and there is a very strong connection (love) that transcends the absence of your loved one's physical body. I think we can all rebuild our lives after such a traumatic experience with time, faith and patience. Good relationships are never easy to find or replace, it just takes time. Whatever happens love is never forgotten or lost. My best to all of you who have lost a loved one and still trying to resolve the grieving issues.
I can totally relate as I lost my wife to illness at the end of March after 32 years of marriage. Sorry for your loss.
41 forty-two years it feels like you've lost everything she was my purpose in life we started early and more like babies raising babies I believe I'm talking soulmate loss when two become one good luck everybody
@@patrickrushton9960I'm so sorry for your loss...💕
That must've been a lot to deal with, I can't imagine your pain...
How are you doing now?
I easily relate.I lost my husband of 24 years 6 years ago.The experience is not an easy one but I feel I'm ready to move on.
I lost my wife of 33 years just 3 months ago she died on Mother’s Day 2022. I still feel like I’m in a bad dream that I can’t wake up from.
Apollonia, you are spot on about how most widowers feel after losing their lifelong sweetheart, my wife passed away 5 months ago, but I had been her sole carer for 10 years, and my wife told me to find a new partner when she's gone.
Six weeks ago, my wife of 27 years died in my arms. On her deathbed she kept telling me that I would not make it alone and to please not live my life alone. She knew that she was dying and her last thoughts were to worry about me. That kind of love can't be replaced. I have a bit of an issue with the term "old wife" used in the video. Until or unless I re-marry, she's my wife and if I re-marry, she will not be my "old wife", she will be my first wife.
It is well
That is really true. My late husband was my best friend and I feel so alone. He can't be called anything else
I lost my wife to cancer this past September, it was a tough time watching her go through all she went through. It's taking some getting used to starting over and getting to know who I am without anyone in my life. All I can do is take life one sec, one minute or one day at a time.
I lost my husband in September to cancer as well. I know the feeling of seeing the person that you love so deeply go through so much and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm definitely trying to get used to my new normal and it is something you take moment by moment. I'll be praying for you.
But they are exes, they are not present in your life anymore. They are in your memories but not actively in your life. I would prefer people not calling me a single mother because even though I am divorced I am not a single parent as my child has both parents but people still do it. I am not offended. These are just words. Nobody wants to intentionally hurt us. We should stop being so oversensitive.
@@AP-di8sy did you lose someone? If you haven’t please dont tell people how to address that person. You can are right of course, technically. That person is not here anymore. For the first few months when I lost my late wife i kept referring to her as my wife. One girl corrected me on it and we arent friends anymore. When people died married and still in love they’ve had the connection severed but they are still very connected. It takes time to come to terms to what has happened. When people are grieving their loss they arent looking at reality the same as you.
@@AP-di8sy And one thing too ex isnt a nice way to refer to a lost loved on. Especially if they died as your spouse and truly loving you. None of us who truly loved our spouse and lost them are gonna call them an ex
Best wishes ❤️
Widowers can be emotionally unstable for quite a while afterwards. Taking it slow may help prevent a train wreck, but the woman will have to pull double duty on red flag identification for them BOTH because the widower may not see them due to their grief. The allure of dating and the emotions of it may be a stronger pull than the need to deal with the unpleasantness of loss. There's great motivation for putting off healing and jumping right into another relationship.
If you do catch a widower on the right side of the healing process, they are 100x better than dating a divorcee. Widowers generally value long term commitment, know how to keep a woman, don't believe the grass is greener on the other side, and will be more willing to grow old with you despite having differences where a divorcee has been trained to think they can just find someone else and will be more willing to quit than stick it out when things get hard. GL.
@Ella those types probably have not healed yet and are probably housing a lot of bitterness
Where are they? 😂
@@mugsysmom62 What's funny?
I literally started tearing up because it's true. I would have been considered married by common law in most states when she passed and I was going to propose the day before she died.
But I'm in a great relationship after leaving an absolutely shitty one that I mistaken to be the one who mocked the one I lost.
Excellent points!
You should really do a video on the effect kids have from the lost of a parent and the addition of having a widowed parent start dating.
I am a widower. In my heart and soul I am still married to the the love of my life and soulmate. After 2 years, I am still feel the same. It is going to be a long lonely road back to her, but I hope to see her again. And yes, I hope we are still married. I made several little memorial videos and posted them on my channel. Erika is a beautiful soul. I hope everyone finds peace and happiness. God bless and take care.
I'm sincerely sorry for your loss....💕 but if you were to meet somebody amazing, do you think you can give a shot at love again?
Awww 🥰 thanks for sharing.
Dated a widower who was 6 months out. He pursued me very heavily and showered me with flowers gifts romantic gesture. Fell madly deeply but his adult child was grieving and didn’t want dad to be with anyone else but mom. Her emotional well being is important. He stated he had a difficult and unhappy marriage but stuck it out especially since she got sick but had no good things to say about his ex. He has broken it off twice with me because of his child grief- which I want her to be ok. But it is difficult- because we really connect. I lost a child several years back so I understand grief. But it’s tough.
That sounds though, I’m sorry.
Well 6 months was fast. If I was the kids id be a little put off on how fast he moved. But also, he has the right to do so
Hi my joy. Hope you are doing fine. It would be nice to know you more
This video is amazing and accurately depicts what widowers do as a result of emotional turmoil. I lost my wife of 7 years 11 months ago to liver cancer. I have tears in my eyes pretty much every day. Our son is 6years old and he reminds me of her every single day. One significant challenge that I have always experienced is inability to avoid remembering the things she said or did, and I think that it may have turned off a potential love partner. I miss my late wife alot
You have very certainly got right to the point THANKS you covered EVERYTHING & YOU HAVE A CERTAIN TYPE OF GIFT
True true true and true. I was just tearing through the whole video because I felt so understood.
I am dating a widower. Thanks for the advice. As I am single, as I never date a widower before.
My husband died suddenly the morning after my birthday. That was our last celebration. The main thing I learned is to look within & look up to find answers to everything & allow a new you to emerge and most definitely talk about ur loved one.. good bad indifferent to those who understand w compassion. U do not have to do it alone but there are times when u have to rely on urself more than b4
Hope thus was helpful.. We all need support & love ❤️
Hi! My name is Nicole and I just married a widower… I am 41 and he is 69. I love ❤️ him sooooooooo much. He is truly the best thing that has happened to me- EVER!!!
What I have noticed about him is that he speaks of things he did with his deceased wife at least 2/3 times a week. But I just expect it because they were married for over 40 years. Sometimes in the back of my head I feel a little jealous… but I just have to remind myself that he was with her for the majority of his life and they shared a world 🌎 of memories. I know he loves me and I want him to feel comfortable to talk to me about anything and everything… included his late wife. Thanks 🙏 for making the video
😉 😘
He's lucky.
💞👍
Girl 69!? Stop, you just married a sugar daddy LMAO!!! 41 is not old, you will definitely be cheating on him. I took all these stories serious until I got to this one. 😂
Happy for you ❤️❤️
You lost me the moment you referred to the deceased spouse as an ex! Nobody got divorced here
I dated a widowed mother. It took time to trust and open up... this video sure helped out.
Apollonia, you have provided a very insightful and compassionate video which I can relate to very strongly. My beloved wife of 37 years died in a tragic car accident 7 months ago. In the suffocating grief that followed I very quickly found myself on Match looking to find someone to "begin" to find hope with. I now realize I'm in NO condition to even begin to think about someone else. So, I'm now trying to figure out how I'm going to make sense of my life without the love of my life. My two daughters are also struggling and my actions have not helped at all. I need to ask God and them for forgiveness and get my head straight. At this point I wonder if I'll ever even find love again, or even want to. I'll look for more videos on your site, and again, thank you!
Sorry for your loss,God Almighty will give you hope again
God is love and forgiving. He is merciful. No matter whatever situation you are in now, God watchers over you. He will heal your broken heart, mend it and restore back what you have lost. Call on His Name and He shall give you a never ending peace. Amen.
Lost my LW 5 months ago. Started dating 3 months after and found an amazing women 2 months ago. Everyone has a different timeline with grieving process.
I just met a lady who lost her husband 2 years ago. We have been talking for 3 weeks now I’m taking it slow to get to know her and be very understanding.
How has it been so far? I'm dating a widow too, although it has been 6 years for her, she still talks about him. So I'm also taking it slow.
I also just started seeing a widow but it’s tough because she has two young kids. Don’t even know where to begin.
@@simonthewatchguy6073 she'll always talk about him. It'll likely slow down eventually. If you can't handle that, brake it off now before her heart is hurt anymore.
RUN!!!!!!
@@leslierusgrove164 it is crazy in these times and with the pandemic....I read theough comments and I feel how hurt you are and I am so sorry for your loss. Although, I never experienced such a feeling, I am an empath, and do connect to experiences easier than others. Never got my heart broken too too much, because always built a wall. All of my friends joked, that I live as if I lost a love I never had. Now, I have started talking to a widower online. He has two young children, his late wife passed away not even a year ago. I am not scared of his situation per say, I would live children for sure if I would love the man. I am certqin about myself, I try to educate myself on the topic, try to find a way to respond correctly when he tells about his wife, but I am so scared that he will break my heart. Do you have any advice for me, on how to react? We live quite far away and due to Covid of course we cannot meet at the momment. Sommany doubts and questions weather I should even start dating him? What about kids later? Will theynjudge me, him, when they grow up? Will his friends and family get jealous of a new person, will they try and judge if I am better or worse tha late wife? I feel like I need to be so serious abiut wven deciding on meeting a person now due to covid, children, as I don not want them to get hurt, him, to save a heart break, and myself as I really want to find my person. Once again, so sorry for everyones loss. I hope there will be time you can let love in again.
I lost her to a personality destroying brain tumor (resolved eventually by radiation therapy) and then to lung cancer. I got to say goodbye for two hours before she passed. That was priceless. Bearably beautiful.She gave me the strength to heal and live. There is no schedule, no agenda that can work for everyone. What communities need to do-especially the online dating providers-is to stop calling death "drama". This has been in dating ads and advice far too long. The other word for drama is life.
Lost my wife to a major stroke .she was 60 and I'm 57. Been together 45 years.from child hood .met her when I was 12 she was 15
.
I really needed to come across this video, thank you! As much as I love him and want him to of course always remember his late wife and speak to me about how he's feeling/memories, the deeper it's getting with us the harder I am finding it... now it relates with you saying trying to find someone just as great as sometimes I feel it's a comparison. Doubts are in my mind to not continue with how I am feeling lately going through all the emotions but I couldn't break him all over again...
Yes I feel the same way sometimes…. My husband talks about his late wife and he also tells me that I am great and how much he loves me…. But I get jealous sometimes….
💞👍
I am married to a widower and we are expecting a child. He lives me and I love him more than words can express. There are two little ones from the first marriage. So, I became their mother. I feel like this realtionship is never (please try to understand correctly) going to be fair for me. I will always be second wife, I will never have those first things, and I will always have doubts and a feeling of not being good enough, rather a second choice. I carry a lot of guilt for wanting that magestic “you are the love of my life”. There are so many things you will give uo to be with a widower and it is not his or your fault, but you have to be realistic and ready. Because as stupid as it sounds this is such a traumatic love to be in for widowers wife. Sorry for the ramble just needed to get this of my pregnant chest
I am feeling the same way. I have been dating a widower since 6 months. He has been married with his passed wife for 9 years and they have 2 kids together.
I think he is trying to fill this void within him with me.
He tells me how much he loves me and he even wants to marry me but I can’t stop comparing myself to his late wife and idk how to handle it.
Sometimes I would love to leave this relationship but I don’t want to hurt him.
It’s more complicated than I ever imagined
Hi Maira
Dating with a widower was tough. I dated in the past and after 6 months I broke up cause I felt he didn't understand me
After one year, we are back again
I am trying to figure out if it is possible to have a second chance again
I’m dating a widower. We’ve been dating for three years. I’m happy. I love her. Her husband wasn’t perfect but he is now a martyr in her eyes. The reality is I can’t help but feel like if we progress I will always be the fill-in guy for her to spend time with until she connects again with him. I don’t expect or want to replace him but I can’t help but feel like I’m the third wheel in my own relationship. I stumbled onto this video in hopes of coming to terms with what my place is or should be.
In the same situation. Looking for support when the grieving person makes you feel like the odd man out.
My thoughts exactly
This made me sad. I imagine her husband looking aside you and wishing he could say he is thankful you stepped in his big shoe. Love takes 2.
@@eltrinajohnson626hope you are fine
Since I posted my comment things have gotten better and we plan on getting better. Time passing helped!!! Was really rough in the beginning!!!
Hi Lois how are you?
As a widower, just to let you know widows/ widowers especially do not prefer for you to refer for you to their late spouse as an exe.
When my girlfriend of 4 years died in her sleep and the paramedics and police came they had to take me away to a friends. The female cop driving me kept calling my girlfriend my ex girlfriend who had literally just died an hour ago. Wasn’t nice
so 💯true I will never refer or allow anybody else to refer Him as my Ex Husband im still struggling with calling him my Late Husband 😢
I agree referencing a late spouse as an ex is disrespectful.
@@michaelsamchuk1819, well, your late girlfriend was not your wife so please don’t give yourself widower airs. Maybe the officer may have been more respectful if you had not been just a grieving boyfriend.
Great Info,I Think I Said To You Before I Was Married 39 Years Before My Wife Passed In 2011. You Are Correct We Know What We Want.👏🏾😃And What We Don’t Want In A Relationship Lol😃Love Your Style, You Are Awesome At What You Do.👏🏾😃
Hi
A deceased spouse is not an "ex"
Yes, they are, although not in the commonly used sense of the term.
@@kwolson59 no he isn't!!
@@kwolson59 no they arent
Ella he isn't physically present in my life, but he is VERY much so present!!
And I think I'm seeing you are divorced, not widowed. You don't get it! Back off. And listen to us widows/widowers!
And Ella, BTW... I don't need you to point out he isn't physically present in my life. I already know that and don't need help figuring that out!
I lost my wife of 27 yrs 5 months ago suddenly and she passed away in my arms. Watching this was so insightful. I gave me validation on my feelings. I still see myself a married. I've spoken to other women when they have initiated the conversation, and felt the guilt.
May her soul rest in prefect paces
Don’t worry everything is going to be fine okay life goes on
Sorry for the lost dear, I hope you’re doing well now, I’m new on here and I love making new friends
I lost my husband of 21 years 7months ago. Sorry for your loss. I feel exactly like you.
Thank you so much Apollonia I have been watching your channel but just found this video thank you so much I felt guilty just for talking to another woman once again thank you so much you do care about us
That’s my problem, my spouse turned out to be so awesome, so much more than I even anticipated. I so fear getting into a relationship that is anything less. I get the emotional cheating deal. I have tons of female friends, so many are very good but it’s been 6 years, and I have so much fear that they would be “less” and I know that’s stupid, but emotions and fears are what they are. It’s easy to be “just friends,” but so hard to just pursue someone. Doesn’t help that I have one of those personalities where people think I’m very open, but reality is I’m extremely self-protective under that veneer.
Lost my late husband in 2016, the journey has not been easy but God has helped me to heal properly to the level that I know that I want to remarry possibly to a widower who will understand. It only takes someone who has been through it to empathize and understand
It is mentally draining. The emotional roller coaster. I've been dating a widow for 4 years. I am stepping back because it's time. I love him, but I have to heal. I don't feel the emotional connection. We have fun, but the emotional connection is missing.
It’s the emotional connection that’s missing , the chemistry ! It’s hard to settle and the fact that being 30 as a widow make life even harder to start over .
I am in the same situation at times he just goes off like we are not in a relationship 🥹🥹
Currently dating a wonderful widower and his communication is just as you stated and yes the third one is a real thing the best thing I found is to be present and listen to your partner
I enjoyed your video very much. I am a single man in my late 50’s and I have never married. My experience with a widow has left me bitter and resentful. Without giving you too much information i felt like the kid on the end of the bench who gets in the game late in the 4th quarter when the outcome is no longer in doubt. The experience left me heart broken it was clear that in here life I was to be someone to fill in for the time that remained in life. I was nothing special her plan was a justice of the piece wedding as the church wedding was a been their done that experience for her “real husband”. Needless to say it didn’t work out and I never plan to put my self in that situation again.
I hope you got your special someone.
If not, It's never too late. You can find a woman who is single and has never married or had kids and you can have firsts with her. Just believe.
I am a widow since 2/15/21. Dating is tuff. I am lonely and trying not to be needy but it's hard even though I stay busy. I went on a date with an old friend last Sunday night. Someone I knew before my husband. He was sweet on the date but no call lately. My husband called everyday when we were dating. The effort was mutual. I like a guy who is a divorcee on my job. We seemed to have connected but now he completely gives me the cold shoulder. I don't know what I did wrong. I miss my husband. I miss my Micks. I don't even care who reads this. I had to get that out.
Hi hope you are fine sorry for your lost
If the action, item, word or thought about the past relationship does not strengthen the relationship there is today, there is no room for that action, item, word or thought.
widowers have a different outlook then a divorce person. I have been dating a widower for almost a year and it has to be the hardest thing i've ever done. Your always going to hear about the perfect wife and how much they love them. I've had to see him breakdown when he sees pics of her etc. you almost feel you shouldn't be with them. The other part that is really hard is his kids.....they think they can control his every move and he feels he needs to listen to them.
I honestly feel that widowers have no business dating again and i know that sounds harsh but honestly they inflect more pain then anything. The significant other always takes a back seat in the relationship and the embarrassment they feel going on with their lives is really hard to deal with. the in-laws friends and relatives will all look at you like your never going to be good enough.....trust me when i tell you that love isn't enough to make it work.
@@csfetko I think it's the best when widowers date and remarried to a widows , they can understand each other and its easier to blend the families, especially when young kids are involved... however, there are lots of successful widowers and widows stories... I am married to a widower, never been happier in my life! But he has no kids or in laws... only late wife's brother and cousin.. it was kind of struggle at the beginning, but we love each other, I don't feel second best, he made me #1. However I am respectful and understanding and accepting his past. It wasn't his choice to lose his wife. But I am just being my awesome self lol. There is no need to be compared to someone who is no longer on this earth! So... I would say dating a widower is definitely not for everyone, but if he is a wonderful man, give him a chance!!! After 3 years together he doesn't bring late wife, just occasionally, which is fine, there is no pictures of late wife in the house, just our pictures, so I am very happy and comfortable in this relationship 🙏🙏🙏
You are correct!!
@@tetianawatson9507 I think if a person is going to date a widower, it is very important that they are conscious, understanding, and mindful of the widower's unfortunate loss/circumstances. That helps the situation. If a person is forcing love, not mindful, selfish, it can be a total nightmare. Not every person can handle it, but those who can, will definitely be a blessing in their(widower's) life.
I'm in a similar situation, I've been more than supportive, because I am very empathetic to his life, love story he shared with his wife. She seemed like an awesome woman.
I sometimes feel inadequate to her, but like you said, just be your awesome self and things kind of worked out. I like the bond I have with him, especially on a friendship level. Whatever comes from this, would be a blessing, but I'm not rushing him into anything. Things take time.
I dated a widow...All it was was hearing over and over, "I love and miss I'm and you're not him"....Not ever gong down that road again.
Apollonia you give out the best content
Thank you, Devon! Appreciate that.
Imy boyfriend passed away when I was 6 months pregnant with our daughter it was the hardest thing ever,
The very first week the sister starts telling me in two years time I will find someone else and forget about what happen.
Something I feel no one understands the pain and heart break that I am going through my daughter is the only person that gives me joy .
Hi pretty 🤗
Last September I started dating a widower who lost his wife in Jan 2023. We had dated back in 1982. This video was really helpful in understanding what he is going through. He did pull back after few months and said he's not ready for steady or long-term relationship yet. But he has taken up ballroom dancing and enjoys learning with me as I have been dancing for 12 years. Highly recommend dancing for a new social interest! .... still hopeful for ❤
Apollonia
Thank you. I lost my wife of 35 years 18 months ago. Your understanding and emphasis on your point number 3 is greatly appreciated.
Sorry for the lost dear, I hope you’re doing well, I’m new on here and I love making new friends
When you loose your best friend, that’s like a pain like no other. When that happens, it feels as if you have no hope in nothing. You can stay in seclusion for years. It feels as if you passed away with the person you love. It takes a special someone to believe that there is hope after loss. Don’t give up. There is hope. 💜💜
I lost my wife 6 months ago, after being together for 15 years. Thank you.
Sorry for your lost, i lost my husband 6 months ago and i do understand i hope you the best.
So so sorry craig.
So sorry for your wife
Sorry about your loss
@Hello Craig Zeigler, How are you doing?
As someone dating a widower, its not easy at all. And widowers should NEVER start dating until they are truly ready to date. They should not put others through unnecessary trauma. It's selfish.
I dated a widow...All it was was hearing over and over, "I love and miss I'm and you're not him".....Nope, never again.
Do you think its ok if they still keep some of his late wife's belongings or gifts ? Is it against being recovered from their loss? Cuz I think ots not fair if he thriw all things shared with her , or presents away, u know. not sure that why I ask you as someone who dated a widower.
Sometimes they don't know when they are ready. But if the lady realises they are not over it yet, I guess she needs to handle him patiently
So very difficult even post 13 years. Photos still up, several visits to the cemetery, doesn’t truly want to move into the future. He wanted me to move into his past, a house he shared with three other women, yes he’s been married twice since, I would have been wife # 3 post DOD.
You will always feel second best and underappreciated. It's emotionally draining to date a widower. They should just remain like that until they pass away too. Nobody on earth should be an emotional drainage system for anyone.
Nahh... Don't ever get yourself into that situation. Save yourself. Date a free person
I dated a widower who would refer to her passed partner as her husband, because to her, he was/is. Took me a long time to get used to that. It ended because for 5 years since his passing, her friends and family told her that she deserved to find a guy that "made her happy everyday"... very high expectations that I couldn't satisfy.
I refer to my late wife, as my late wife or by by her name. Sometimes people think of their spouse who has passed away as a perfected person. This is not fair to the person we are dating. I lost my wife in 2009. My wife was a very good woman, but I realize none of us are perfiected . If we are making our late spouse into a god we may not be ready to date. We need to be willing to open our heart again , give some one new a fair chance .
@@whatlifebringswithironmike3148 You're absolutely right...
I know it's not always that easy but I really hope a lot of people would understand this...
What do you think about two widowers dating each other?
God That's a really tall order..and it sounds like the sad reality she may well never ..easy for them to say ...Expectations are a killer in any relationship let alone make her happy every day Not much to ask (sarcasm
Honey, my husband is not my "ex" and I'll never call or consider him that!!! Please keep that in mind when doing these videos! That is VERY triggering for someone who has lost their spouse to death and was very connected with them!
Hello leslie
i came across your touching comment in the death of love ones post here on you tube. Well am really sorry about that okay 😒☹and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday....
I am dating a widower who was married for 50 years. He really loved his wife. All I see in him is sadness. I listen to all of his stories about his beautiful wife. Sometimes I even ask him questions about her. But I can see and feel that there is no room for me now.
All I can be to him at this time is his friend . Not his Girl Friend, Not his Lover , Not anything like that .Just a Friend. I can't even look for a future with him . He needs lots of time. I never dated a widower before . But I guess at my age 65 this is what is single now..Your video is so true. It takes lots of time before you can even be a part of anything. And yes he is looking for you to be just like her, even if it is just a little bit.
That's me right now. I know what my guts are telling me.
I began dating a widower whose husband killed himself in front of her 2 years ago. He was my friend but I barley knew her. Recently I reached out to see how she was doing & we just began talking & it evolved over months. We started slow & I asked her repeatedly to make sure she was ready to date. She assured me she was & that meeting me.made her realize everything happens for a reason & we were meant to be together. We live in different cities so I flew her up then I would fly down too. Everything was perfect then she suddenly started distancing herself. Said she felt numb & had hit a wall. I gave her space & we hadn't talked for a week before the last time I flew down, but she made reasons why she couldn't spend time w/ me. I got upset & she immediately ended things. Said I didn't understand she was grieving her husband?! I fell for her hard & don't know what to do. I apologized & told her I didn't want to lose her but she never responded. Do I just leave her alone? Should I attempt to call her? Help!
Tell her you respect what she is going through, and allow her the space she needs. Sometimes we feel smothered, and just need to be distanced for a bit, give her grace
Great video once again apollonia.
Thanks for your consistent support Daniel. xoxo
@@ApolloniaPonti your welcome Apollonia. I'm really glad u understand the hearts of great men out there .
This is a great video on dating and I gave you a thumb up but CZcams keeping turning it off.
Hi,
Thank you for your support! I will check the CZcams to see what is happening.
Best,
Apollonia
@@ApolloniaPonti Thanks Apolionia, the thumb up button is working again.
I’d recommend to not call them “ex-wife”. That’s super hurtful. It’s late wife.
Lost my wife .three months ago.been with her for 45 years. She was 60 and I'm 57.childhood sweet hearts
I lost my husband 2018 ..and it has been difficult for me itry another relationship but when in relationship ifeel like he is not the same as my husband then I loose hope ..have been alone and it's killing me am praying to find awidower that we can start life with Hu will undustand my situation my prayer
Hope you are fine Lucy. Sorry for your lost
Interesting topic, thank you for addressing an overlooked dating factor...
Thanks for watching teves
Yes so interesting, well I lost my wife 5years back since then have been single but am ready to move on, so how are you doing? You look so beautiful and attractive and also have a lovely smile
May peace be unto you and your entire household,you are so beautiful my dear God loves you
Hello
Absolutely true… I had a husband 25 years married toghether 30 widowed young and.. yiu do know what you want. Not in a rush is true. If it happens it will. Be careful you don’t wanna hurt anyone.
Thank you so much for watching Eraina!
I'm so sorry about your husband, my deepest condolence to you, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a horrible heart attack, it was a terrible experience for me but I kept strong for my little daughter hoping for the best future for her, time does heal the broken heart expecially when you're around the right people, life goes on because the future and our happiness is all that really matters because our past doesn't it's just full of both sad and happy memories of our loved one's that passed away, I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind, I'd have drop my cell # here but I'm not sure about that it'd be nice if you send me your email address so I can reach out on you.?
Please make one on what to expect when dating a newly divorced woman
I have been a widow for 9years now,
At 35years now I feel I need to get married again.I need a father figure for my two kids.
May the will of God be done
When you loose someone you love something inside you dies too,i feel very lonely at times
Hello beautiful 🌹
So sorry for that. It happens all over
🙏❤
i came across your touching comment in the death of love ones post here on you tube. Well am really sorry about that okay 😒☹and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday....
Something to keep
in mind when dating one of us…in order for widows and widowers to make that type of commitment again, we have to be willing to endure what we have gone through again. That’s a big ask for most of us. it will take time for us to be able to get to that point.
You are not alone God is with you and your family and friends are there. Be strong because when there is another sunrise is another hope.
I lost my wife of 7 years to cancer after I lost her my ex wife came to my rescue and now that we have both changed we are making a new start out of it but I took care of my wife during the end and she died in my arms
I am a 25+ year veteran, 20+ in the Special Operations side of the house, and I lost my wife *****, 8 years ago. We first met when I was 6, and she was 5, and she had dropped her ice cream, mint chocolate chip, and I gave her mine, which at 7 ice cream is damn near love. We were married at 19 and 18, and she was my first girlfriend, kiss, and other firsts, and it took me until 2 years ago to actually feel comfortable going out on a date. The girl I met actually initiated with me at first, as she had seen me a year before we met physically stand-up for a Trans performer getting beaten up, and I jumped in. She said what struck her was after the short fight from me, 6 frat guys aren't really on my level, the guy(trans) thanked me, and I told him what you are disgusts me, but I hate bullies. She wondered why someone would stand up for someone/thing that abhorred, and I said it is the right thing to do. I am 43, and she is 26, and I was really nervous about the age gap, our DRASTIC political differences, and the fact she LOVES cats. I took it glacially slow, and there have been some rocky times, but I truly love her, and she me. She was shocked to find out that I am.from a monied family, another thing she took a while to wrap her head around, that one would put themselves in a position where they could be shot and killed, and getting shot is NO picnic and I have dined at that picnic 14 times on three separate occasions, and I told her the same thing as the trans fight, it is the right thing. Our first "time" together, I broke down in tears, and she didn't say a word, just held me, which was a more intimate moment for me than even sex. I retire in 2 years, and we are planning on a move to Texas, as I own a ranch there, and while I was more scared about the first date than I am a firefight, for any men out there know this, if your wife loved you like you did her, she wouldn't want you to grieve her for the rest of YOUR life, and while ****" will always be a deep part of who I am ******** has now filled a different part of me. She will never replace my first wife, but I did find love again. I took off my wedding band, and *****'s ring which I wore around my neck, and gave them to her on our 1.5 year anniversary of our first date, to do with what she wanted. She actually had the metal melted down, and the stones reset into a pinky ring for me, which she says looks retro, but also it made me love her a little more. She accepts my first will always be there, but I also gave her a ring of her own 3 moths after......so, we shall see what we shall see.
I wish I can meet someone who is patient enough to listen, full of understanding and will take me as I am.
💞👍
I hope you are doing fine Norma
I would be like to know you if you don’t mind Romillo
This is a wise and compassionate commentary. My father was 46 years old with a 13-year-old son when his wife passed away. My mother was a 37-year-old spinster. A few months after his wife’s death, my uncle, his brother, knocked on the door of my grandmother’s house where my mother lived, and asked my grandmother on behalf of his brother for my mother’s hand. My grandmother said, “She’s 37, she can decide on her own.” And she did. They were married on April 10, 1950 and spent 23 happy years together before my father passed away.
Hi Joe,
Thank you for sharing your experience with the viewers.
Best,
Apollonia
My two past loves, each hold a special place in my heart and always will. My next love must understand that because she is here, now, that she has 99.8 percent of my heart and attention.
I lost my wife 18 years ago, age 31. She was the only woman I have ever truly loved and I made two suicide attempts because I just wanted to be with her again. If there was someone else who could make me feel the way she did, I would marry them tomorrow. But I am still waiting to meet that person. I have tried dating a few times since but I feel it is unfair on them because my darling wife set such an impossibly high standard.
I lost my wife of 34 years a little over two years ago and it’s just like it was yesterday that we were talking about which one of us would leave this earth first I miss her every day and I am out of it when it comes to relationships with other women to the point that my 14-year-old granddaughter said hey pops that lady was flirting with you blatantly and I didn’t even notice.I think it’s gonna take me a few more years before I even start looking or if it happens it happens good luck to the rest you guys out there.
This is not directly about dating a widower, but a friend lost his wife to cancer nearly 2 years ago. He was a great husband and cared for her at home till the end. Around 4 months ago he joined a a dating app and has recently started a relationship with a lady. He said he deserves it because he's had "2 miserable years of being alone". I completely get that, but I've just spent the past 2 years being a shoulder to cry on and a sympathetic ear when he talks of his late wife, but now it's all teenage-like glee at dates, calls and texts. I guess if he's made the switch, I should just do the same, but if truth be told, I feel a bit hypocritical suddenly going from solemnly nodding and empathizing to high fiving. I feel like the poor late wife has been unceremoniously shelved all of a sudden. I'm sure that's not the case in his heart, of course, but I guess I'm just finding it hard coming up with reactions that don't make me feel a little insincere.
I lost my wife just one month ago. We were married for 42 beautiful years. I will never replace her, there are no women as great as she was, still is in my heart. I am 83, so getting married again at my age is just silly.
Hi, Apollonia
A type of relationship you did not mention was a widower from a difficult or strained relationship. Got any advice for someone like this?
See a therapist ~ we all need healing
the best date site apolonia you ar amezing
I am single, and I am first time dating a widower.
I was with my wife for 20 years and the hardest Part I'm finding is put myself out there And you're right I know exactly what I want not sure if that ever does exist but I do want to go out try new things do new things but I don't want to do the whole bar scene and stuff like that. I have ruined a few dates afterwards feeling guilty
..."I know exactly what I want not sure if that ever does exist but I do want to go out try new things do new things but I don't want to do the whole bar scene and stuff like that" Exact what I think:))
Hi Your profile hits home with me and I like that you seem relaxed and very open. Life is to enjoy, laugh, communicate and have a connection with someone special who has a zest for life and all things in it. I like to be active and I tend to find the humor in life. It’s my feeling that people need adventure, laughter and passion....Let’s talk and see where life takes us..
Sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 21 years 7 months ago. I honestly don’t think that I will be able to put myself out there. We lost great spouses and we will always compare them to our dates. Praying for us
I’m going on my first real date that I’m actually excited about. I lost my husband of 38 years 3 1/2 years ago. I’m not sure what and what not to talk about. I’ve been on many meet and greets and I was never Intrigued. My first conversation was two hours on the phone and he asked me out within 30 minutes. He’s driving an hour and a half to take me out to dinner on Saturday night. Hence nervous nervous nervous any advice is greatly appreciate it. I am 64 years old
Just be yourself, and try not to do all the talking, and when you do talk, don’t talk about your late loved one, maybe a little peppered in but not much, and have fun ~ don’t forget to laugh, it’s so good for the soul
Im slowly dating an amazing woman who lost her husband of 13 years about two years ago. She has two younger kids, 14 and 11. But I’ve been divorced for almost one year. It seems the number one advice is to take things slow and let set into the decisions that’s comfortable to her. What else?
How is it going? I love that you weren’t discouraged about her being a widower with 2 kids
I began dating a man who lost his girlfriend of 3 years to cancer she passed 1 year ago.. He began our relationship while she was on hospice care and did not tell me about her until she passed away. It has been a year of me trying to be supportive but it hurts me that he posts photos of memories of her on Facebook yet had never posted anything of me and he keeps our relationship a secret. Of course when I get upset he gets mad at me for not supporting him. This has been painful for me because I feel like I live in her shadow. And I feel like I'm just a person to fill a void.
Hey Lita dancer how your doing hope your staying safe?
Hello how are you doing, you look so beautiful and attractive and also have a lovely smile
Sorry
Hello Lita 👋
💞👍
I lost my wife, of 30 some years, 3 1/2 years ago and I don't think I could even think of dating again. Everyone is different when it comes to grieving and my depression has caused me to become an extravert again. During these hard times, staying home hasn't been a problem. I've tried to start dating again but was basically shot down because of my age and I don't plan to date someone my age. So I will die alone.
Dont give up Michael, you have just met the wrong women. Their reactions and words are theirs to own. If a woman rejects you, then you have dodged a bullet. Good luck.
Hey Michael...
Honestly, I think you're an amazing guy...
There are tons of wonderful women out there that'd be lucky to have you..
I'm sure you'd find somebody wonderful soon, sweetie💕
If you don't mind me asking, what are the steps you've taken so far to find a partner..
Thanks Apolonia.
Hey Vasquez how you doing hope your staying safe
I’m f you ever want to insult/infuriate a widow or widower, say the following;
“I know exactly what you’re going through, because it was learning how to cook for 1, after my divorce.”
They are completely unable to see the difference.
Now, I f I go out to dinner with a lady friend, I go out with widows, because we can laugh/brag about our late spouses, and not worry about alienating the other.
It’s nice when there are 2 adults in the room.
Thank you Apollonia for your advice, despite not dating.
By the way, you look so gorgeous wearing white in your private coaching session photo and your video.
I bet you there is something special happening to you these days. Allah bless you Apollonia.
Hi Mustapha,
Thank you for your consistent support!
Best,
Apollonia
MY DAD PASSED AWAY LAST YEAR AND IT HAS BEEN OVER A YEAR NOW, I WANT A NEW LIFE FOR MY MOM , SHE NEVER OPENED THIS TOPIC OF GETTING MARRIED NEITHER DID I CZ I THOUGHT I SHOULD GIVE HER SOME TIME TO MOVE ON,I DON'T NO IF SHE'S STILL RECOVERING OR WHAT, SHE'S BELOW 40 YO YET, I THINK I SHOULD OPEN THIS TOPIC WITH HER NOW, I DON'T WANT HER TO BE ALONE ALL HER LIFE , ITS GONNA BE A TOUGH JOB NOW, TO GET HER TO AGREE ON GETTING REMARRIED. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
I'm a widows this is sooo right ty xx
💗💕🤍🌹
I need some advice. I met a widower who lost his wife about 2 years ago. He keeps going through these cycles of withdrawal, to regret and guilt, to break through and wants to start healing, to flirty and attentive then back to withdrawal. When he goes silent it is usually for days ( mostly when he’s at home by himself or around his daughter). It’s so painful to watch. I tell him its ok and normal. I give as much support as he will allow. I try to talk to him at times it seems like I’m putting pressure on him and I want to stop but he tells me he likes my stubbornness in not giving up. At his hard times he says he’s a terrible person and just can’t see someone else in his life then within the next few days he says I was right and he needs me. So I’m confused. I don’t know what to do. I want to take away the pain. I want to help him find some sort of peace. To be able to breathe and see life again. I want the best for him, his daughter and as silly as this is to say, even his wife. But every time he wants to start healing and says he needs me, something happens and he pushes me away and goes silent then the cycle starts again. I see his pain, I feel his pain and I can’t do anything. I feel so helpless. I don’t know which way to turn. I don’t want to give up but I can’t take this yoyo of emotions. If I feel this bad his pain has to be 10xs as hard. Should I walk away? Should I stay and be that stubborn support that’s invisible? But if I stay he completely disappears and I’m afraid if I do stay it’s worse on him.
Is this normal? If it is what should I do to help him? I know there is no time frame for someone to heal and start to move on. How can I help him? What can I do? Is there anything I can do? I was about to turn my life upside down to be there for him.. because its what he wanted, then 2 days prior to my moving the cycle started again so I stopped. I knew it was a trigger and I couldn’t do anything to hurt him... But it breaks my heart to know he is hurting. What can I do? Has anyone been thru this too? I care so much for him but I don’t know if it’s enough to help..
Please someone reply to this
I'm going through the same journey as you...you are not alone..sometimes it goes to a point of looking for help from his friends,family,etc..and no one seems to understand the pain im going through...as I write this the man I've been dating(widower)is in a silent mode..withdrawn..and not communicating at all.its all painful..worse still I have his pregnancy
@@sharleenmutua7415 First of all I am very sorry that you are going through this. What I would propose to you is that you clearly state your boundaries (through a letter or email) that it is absolutely unacceptable that he ghosts you like that. And that if it continues you will have to move on with your life. Because it is not because someone has lost someone that gives him the right to treat another person like shit! When you have done this focus on yourself and put yourself and your baby first.
When he finally comes back around, have a empathetic conversation that show that you understand whay he going through but at the same time reinforcing those boundaries and then start brainstorming on how to better communicate as soon as feels to disappear
Having an open discussion about things should really help you all.
Finally you have to accept that a relationship with a widower will never be the same as a other guys and he will always be thinking about her and he will need time to get used to someone new. With time he will grow to adapt to his new life.
Time and patience is what will make your relationship flourish but never forget to maintain your boundaries. He will respect you for it
I am going through this trauma with my current boyfriend...
Maybe give him some time alone to see you in a new light. No contact for two three weeks. Let him contact you . If he doesn't it's time to move on
I lost my wife this Month due to covid she is 6 months pregnant for our first baby we've been together for 7 years we just got married this June, I don't know what to do, I'm lost everyday I can't think of anything I just wanted to be with them 😭
Omg love I am so sorry!! 💜💜💜 prayers for you!!
How tragic! Im so sorry. Hugs.
@@terricarnes2588 you are absolutely great with a good heart
Accept my condolences 🙏
my sincere condolences sir it's sad to hear but keep trusting in god
Thank you for sharing this. Loss of love is painful. Meet the man of your dreams and he asks to hold your hand. Dies of stage 5 cancer a few months later. Everyone i e ever loved has gone away. I am now on the reciprocating end of a 5 yr loss. I am terrified t love. I love our new adventure, but still afraid to love. I am also knowing his wife passed in 2017. I am scared and so is he. Any advice?
I didn't edit this properly. I am days into a potential new relationship with a man who I went to Jr, Sr school yrs apart, but close enough. Same territory. He lost his wife in 17 and i am scared to love. 3 of my formers have passed from cancer. I want to start again but need a little help. He is amazing, sweet, kind and I don't want to go to fast. He asked if i will kiss him when we meet for first date and I said i can't agree to it until we actually are together. I feel scared to say anything until the time it happens naturally. Should i say yes? Tis is making my head ache.
I am dating a widower, and I think it's time that I let him go. It's just not a good idea to date a widower. You will always feel that his heart is not fully yours. I love him, but I love myself that's why I'm ending my relationship with him. I just can't hurt myself anymore.
So yeah, I ended things with him for 2 reasons, 1. I asked him to delete photos of his late partner on Facebook but he didn't want to, 2. I asked him to remove the nickname (combination of his name and his late partner's name) on his FB but he didn't want to because it's not a big deal. I feel sad but also feel relieved. I will never date a widower again.
Fred H. You need to be given your place as the most important person in their life. Just like they are the most important person in your life. If you would do it for them why won’t they do it for you? Find someone who will love you back with the same level of love that you give out. Accept nothing less. Hard lesson I learned this year.
I would never date a widower, there is no room in my heart or bed for a second woman.
I agree. I am 4 months into a relationship with a widower and it hurts to know his heart will never be fully mine.
Yep.....I'm sick of people saying they can live two people (within a romantic, intimate relationship)......nope....one will be second fiddle! If you still love a dead person or a live person while building a future with someone else.....you have a soul tie/ cord of attachment that must be broken so you can give your full heart to your new partner!!!!! Don't bring that crap into your new partner's life.....you'll injure them!!!!! Stay widowed or break that tie!!!! AND DON'T CARRY YOUR DEAD PERSONS PICTURE IN YOUR WALLET WHILE ENGAGED TO SOMEONE ELSE!!!! THATS ABUSIVE AND SICK!!!
I am a widow lost my husband 16 years ago i was in a couple realationships but i never can forget my husband i even felk in love but you dont stop the heart from feeling whatever it feels for the loss you experienced being a widow is completly different then being divorced we didnt want this we didnt choose this nobody asked us they just left us in the dark but not on purpose divorce is a choice death isnt!!
i came across your touching comment in the death of love ones post here on you tube. Well am really sorry about that okay 😒☹and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday....
💞👍
My divorce was not a choice. The widowed always put themselves above the divorced without really thinking.
What about a man that was married for 40 years, lost his wife 1 year and 4 months ago, and he starts dating ( why?) someone and keeps using his wedding ring and another one with her ashes? Would be on his mind "let's the 3 of us" be happy? or Not ?!
I never grieved properly till I met a woman I had a crush on. Previous to her I was just kind of plodding along and taking care of business. She made me realize how much I missed my wife. I really need a woman in my life, I can’t stand a celibate life style and I just need a female presence.
Once I met this woman my hormones kicked in and the emotions and tears came flooding out. As it was the woman didn’t feel the same about me but it was pretty awesome. I really got the grieving started. She’s a great person, and a stunning woman.
Since then I have met another woman and I seem to be doing just fine. Would my departed wife be happy for me? Probably not lol. Are my kids pissed off? Of course they are. I’ll just have to deal with it one day at a time. I’ll just take it slow and be honest and kind with this new lady. She’s really something else!
It’s odd being single with no baggage at my age? I’m so thankful that I married my wife and the time we had together. I wish I could have loved her more but I tried my best.
Just remember the living will live, and the dead will remain dead. It may sound cruel and unfair but that’s life.
A man needs his mate
3 months ago, I lost my wife of 44 years, after our 5 years battling ovarian stage 3-C cancer.
I sometimes wonder some of the same things, that you mention. Will my wife & honey (now my angel) want me to live and be happy? Of course she would. She told me many times those last 5 years "it will be ok". My 4 adult kids almost certainly will want me to be happy, and still honor & respect their mom. I would have wanted it for my bride, if i had died first.
Not sure what tomorrow may bring. But certainly the last 44 years being happy (even during the 5 years as full time caregiver) was a blessing. Makes me feel i am the luckiest guy in the world ... even now after her becoming my angel.
My boyfriend lost his husband of a couple years. They got into a car crash and he watched his husband bleed to death in the car next to him. I feel like he reminisces a lot about the times that he and his husband had, and it makes me feel like I should idk be just as good as his dead husband. Where does it cross the line between wanting to find love like last time and getting someone to replace the dead spouse?
💞👍
I had 2 date with a widower. His wife had passed 4 months prior. Date 1 he wanted to hug and kiss. I wanted to just talk and get to know him. Date 2 - lunch by his house,he had numerous pictures of his wife on an endless loop on a large digital screen. He told me he felt extremely lonely. He then said, “come here and sit like this because this is how my wife and I sat…” And he began talking about sex. I did not feel like he was seeing me or had any interest in who I was. Only that he wanted ANYBODY available to fill this void. I asked if we could “just establish a platonic friendship, first and get to
know each other more organically?” He told me 10 days later he was in a relationship with a women he met and had no time for becoming friends with me. IMO wait at least a year, and settle into your Néw individuality. Regarding starting any relationship, mostly get to know who an individual is without being in a rush.
In May it will be 3yrs of my late husband being gone and I don't know if I am doing well. Sometimes I want to die sometimes I want someone to love me again. Am I ok? I left me with 2 kids and I just feel so lonely most of the time. I pray one day I heal
Been dating a widower for three months and we talked about his late wife but when he drinks he sends me pictures of him and his deceased wife I realized he is not ready for this relationship and he needs help when he’s not drinking everything is great I decided to leave the relationship so he can grieve it hasn’t been a year she died and he intentionally hurts me when he drinks I had a lot of patience and encouraged him to talk about her but when he drinks he’s mean to me and sends me pictures of them I let him go until he can get help but he doesn’t feel he needs it… what should I do?
Do
I am dating a widower and he put high hope in me. By the way, I am a single woman. Our age difference of 10 years. We are a different nation. Me myself from Malaysia and he is from Egypt. I just feel insecure sometimes.
I am so obedient to you ,i am 21 age men are you examine me
i came across your touching comment in the death of love ones post here on you tube. Well am really sorry about that okay 😒☹and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday..
I lost my husband of 39 years 3 years ago. I do feel guilty even thinking about dating. How do you start again?
Is easy don't think to much
Maybe go out in a group and socialize with men and women. Once you get comfortable with that then possibly have a coffee with men as friends.