The Wild School Dress Code Stories You Need to Hear
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- čas přidán 4. 03. 2023
- We are back with Lauran, Tell, Gabe, and special guest - the TikTok famous, Ms. Matulewicz and are uncovering the most outrageous classroom stories surrounding school dress code.
Listen in to the stories that left us all scratching our heads. From crop tops to sagging pants, the stories just don't quit. And we are not holding back on sharing our most outrageous personal tales as well - trust us, you won't want to miss it.
Navigating the waters of school dress code violations can be choppy at best. How do you enforce rules without shaming your students? What's the best way to handle pushback from parents? And how do you deal with the inevitable wardrobe malfunctions? We give out best advice along the way.
So, whether you're a teacher, a student, or just someone who's been bamboozled by a school dress code in the past, tune in to this episode of Teachers Off Duty.
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I just graduated with my teaching degree in December. I had a dress code incident at my public middle school that still bothers me all these years later. For my 8th grade graduation, all female students were required to wear a dress in order to walk in the ceremony. For able-bodied students this wouldn't be much of an issue, but I have Cerebral Palsy. Any time we had a school event and I had to dress up I wore dress pants. This was so that I could wear my leg braces which helped me walk better. I often lost my balance and fell too. I was concerned about modesty if that happened during the ceremony. I explained my concerns and my teacher denied my request to wear dress pants. I share this because I think schools should make sure that any dress codes they come up with don't discriminate against disabled students when they are applied. I realize there aren't many disabled teachers in the profession so that might be a blind spot. The whole thing felt really dehumanizing at the time.
So sorry that happened to you. Your request seemed reasonable enough to me. That's just common sense.
So sorry that happened to you it must’ve felt awful they should never discriminate against anyone who has a disability
i was already mad at the initial sexist rule but add the ableism on top of it? forget that!!! id honestly say that was grounds for a lawsuit! How DARE they put you in that horrible position!
Perfect example of how sexism & ableism intersect.
I’m a CP survivor too. I’m so sorry you went through this
I love the conversation about laundry. My kid attends school in a district with some very low income areas, and they did a pilot program with Whirlpool to get washing machines and dryers on campus in some of the lowest income schools, and attendance increased because kids could be sure of having clean clothes. It was an immediate and drastic improvement.
8:50 Hearing another adult call it “sports mode” for crocs made me crack up lmao
In Australia we all wear uniforms but as long as footwear is appropriate (closed in, no heels, no uggs) you were allowed to wear whatever. Until one year 2010 they tried to dictate our SOCKS, had to be ankle length black or white with zero colour. We protested by making a fb event and everyone wore thigh high rainbow socks for a day and they couldnt punish us all so they let it go and everyone was allowed the socks they wanted
Ah wow wish we'd done this. In UK and until 16 at our school we could only wear black socks, as well as rules on hair cut and colour and any makeup (think natural looking mascara only was allowed). Known friends sent home for the wrong colour bra even (if at all visable through thin white shirt)... All this at a public school lol
@@jaydenheppenstall3376 private schools get to dictate the same sort of rules here, but our school was public, transformed to independent and we protested that they cared more about uniforms than education
@@meliskoolies ahh fair... yeah it definitely feels like that sometimes
@@jaydenheppenstall3376 Yeah UK schools are so controlling over uniform. I had to wear black socks with no logos that had to be longer than ankle length, plain black trousers that had to touch our shoes, shoes had to be polished black leather (Classic doc martens were popular), this white shirt that had to have the top button fastened at all times, a tie that had to be 6 or more stripes long and a blazer that we had to ask to take off in class even on days when it was like over 30° C and we had to were it when we weren’t in class regardless of how hot it was. Fun times hey. Oh and my school wasn’t private . And it you didn’t abide by the rules then you would get an ASD (after school detention)
Oo gurl I’m also in Australia and my high school would give detention for wrong socks and shoes. For sport uniform everyone must wear white socks and shoes ( specific shoes weren’t allowed like canvas shoes) and our formal uniform we all must wear leather looking black shoes and girls wore white socks and guys wore knee high grey socks.
So much bullshit. They never cared about the students only their image
As a plus size person, I felt that I was disproportionately dress coded in high school. I never wore anything that was boundary pushing. My mom wouldn’t even let me buy something if it wasn’t in dress code.
Despite this, I got sent to the office at least twice a month. It really made me self conscious about my body. The worst part is, I nor my parents could ever get a straight answer as to why I was dress coded. They always made up some BS excuses.
Yep, you were! I didn't have dress codes as a student, but years later as a teacher they became a thing and plus-size girls always got more negative attention, and stuff that was fine on a thinner girl was a "distraction" on them - that's school admin code for "whatever we don't like the look of".
Dress codes punish anyone who isn't thin. By HS I was pushing a c or d cup. So regular round neck t-shirts showed a bit of chest. This literally couldn't be avoided and I got dress coded constantly. A female principal once said "I know your well endowed and I must admit I'm jealous but you need to cover up."
Ew, that is awful. What a gross comment!
My sibling grew over 5’ by age 9 or 10 so things like shorts and tops always came up short. It was their long arms, legs and torso! We had to wear uniforms, and once we moved schools, it was easier because we could wear clothing that our parents bought us that better fit. We all know khaki skorts and navy polos do not even look good on the thinner people so why have strict dress codes and uniforms ugh
Wtf?!
On another vane though, I was in middle school and wore a shirt the dipped low in front and I was dress coded and my mom, who was a teacher in another district told me that they were jealous.
i was dress coded all the time bc i was thin wdym
That’s the fahsion industry fault not the schools . Finding plus sized garments in regular stores isn’t easy but that’s not on the school
I brought a blanket to school starting in middle school all the way through high school. 😂 During warm months and cold. I hate being cold.
I also have ADHD, so I often used it to help cope with sensory issues too. The big one is that my arms sometimes get really sensitive to anything touching them (including my shirt at times) and the feel of the desk touching my arm while I write was actually painful at times. I’d lay the blanket under my arm and be able to focus. Sometimes I’d just wear or use my hoodie, but I’d have sensory issues from that sometimes too. Having another option helped a ton.
Most of my teachers had 1 or 2 blankets in their classroom for when it was cold. They figured if they are cold we probably were too. Some teachers thought it was ridiculous, but they didn’t make me stop bringing it either.
i defiantly feel way more comfortable with a female addressing what i’m wearing than a man. It’s nothing against men it just feels weird sometimes for a 50 something year old man to address it idk.
That adds to another reason why a male teacher is scared to help preschoolers on the monkey bars. They don't wanna be labeled as a pedo if they're not one.
It should be against the rules in every school for a male to do that
@@kathryncotter4933 I 1000% agree
Yessss
Y’a it’s kind of like, why are you even paying that much attention? It just makes me feel icky
I'm a teacher at a preschool, I remember that the first school I worked at told me I couldn't dye my hair because it was unprofessional but now at the school I'm at my boss loves when I change my hair color (currently have one side blue and the other is purple) and so do the toddlers in my class, they always love asking me what color it is and they get to learn
I never had any crazy dress codes at my high school (Canadian, specifically southern Ontario), but they did at one point try to ban FCUK shirts, thinking they were just a way of wearing a swear word, which 100% they were, but the fashion teacher literally battled with admin because French Connection UK is a trendy brand and they shouldn’t forbid people from wearing certain brand names and allowing others. She was a fantastic teacher and honestly someone i wish i could have hung out with when she was my age. I’ll always remember this story, and i graduated in 2012.
One time in high-school (2015ish), I got dresscoded for wearing a t-shirt with Tinker Bell on it. Apparently her skirt was too short and it was deemed inappropriate. My dad had to take time off work to bring me an appropriate shirt and he let the ap have it.
In the 60s and 70s, it was common for male teachers in my high school to wear business suits. One of the young social studies teachers came in one day wearing a black turtle neck shirt with a glen plaid suit. He was the talk of the school that day, and cemented his reputation as a rock star.
I had a principal once who held a "no no fashion show" at the beginning of each school year for the staff. The weirdest one was no cheetah print. Other animals were okay though.
Lmao ngl ur principal knew what they were doing cheetah print is horrible in my opinion
I knew a girl who had a bone disorder that made her arms extra long but they still applied the shorts/skirts have to be below your fingertips rule to her it was cruel
I was born my arms were just really long like they grew more than the rest of my body so in elementary and middle school my fingertips would be about 4 inches below my knee until high school when my body grew to be more proportional even though my arms are still long but the fingertip rule was still applied to me until fifth grade when my parents were so fed up with it because I couldn’t wear the cute trendy looking outfits my classmates could and we live in a desert so it was just too hot for me to be so covered up like that so my parents got me a 504 plan for my doctor saying that I could wear shorts and skirts 5 inches above the knee (because that’s where most peoples arms fall) but in middle school I had to carry the documentation with me all the time because teachers would try to dress code me for my fingertips being passed my shorts and then I just be like actually I’m allowed to because my doctor said so 😂 I do not have a single regret for it too
I’m more concerned with dress codes for teachers than students. I’ve taught for 26 years and almost always followed whatever code we had regardless of whether I agreed with it or not. It drives me crazy when I see a certain group of late thirties aged teachers in our school that constantly dress like school is a stripper/fashion show. I literally saw one of these women’s panties when she walked down the hall in front of me pushing a cart in her normal mini dress one day. We are an elementary school which constantly requires us to bend and squat. I’ve seen this certain group come in wearing one shouldered dresses, spaghetti straps, and low cut shirts that show a lot of flesh when they bend over. We have a dress code but for some reason they always get away with their outfits, yet one non-student day our air was out and I got checked for wearing Bermuda shorts to my knees. My reply to my principal was, “If you have a problem with this, let’s walk down the hall and I’ll show you a few other dress code violations to take care of…”the luxury of being on last third of your career…I’ll say what I think and the principal walks off.
That mean girls reference 😭😭😭
I love the conversation about laundry. My kid attends school in a district with some very low income areas, and they did a pilot program with Whirlpool to get washing machines and dryers on campus in some of the lowest income schools, and attendance increased because kids could be sure of
My daughter was reprimanded for wearing a white shirt and the outline of her white bra showed. She was 11! She went to boarding school for high school and wore uniforms so there was never a clothing issue.
That’s ridiculous
I went to 14 different schools growing up, 13 of them, no uniforms. I was in early elementary at my uniform school. My parents were responsible for providing the uniforms. We were low income and my parents had to go and buy 3 kids multiple uniforms each, so that they could manage the laundry. We had to have our shirts tucked in. I got Detention in kindergarten because my shirt kept coming untucked in the back. Kindergarten. The uniforms did play into my parents decision to move schools again. It drove my mom crazy
As mentioned in previous comments, in Australia both public and private schools wear uniforms. Back in the 1990's at my school, we had prefects who would stand at the gates when students finished in the afternoons to ensure uniforms were neat and correct- shirts tucked in, hats on, socks pulled up for males and down for females, ties on etc.
Lauren talking about her "restrictive" dress code really got me. Cause my school was wayyyyy more restrictive and I never thought twice about it. Lol
I don’t have a wild dress code rule but I served on the negotiation team and the year our board noticed on teacher dress code, we talked more about dress code than we did about money! No hoodies except on Friday, no shirts that said anything, but he (supt) caved on flip flops as long as they weren’t the $1 kind 😂 I (teacher association president) refused to let them put the dress code in the negotiated agreement. That’s board policy! Whew! I’m glad I retired!
its interesting to hear the different dress codes are in different states. I've lived in NYC my whole life & I don't remember ever having a "dress code". I went to a uniform wearing school from 7th-8th grade that was the most strict it ever got for school clothing. In high school no one cared. The only time a teacher or an adult would say something was when you were basically naked. Although I graduated in 2011 so idk how much has changed
My school dress code makes it so that if you’re a teacher you can’t wear any types of yoga pants unless you’re class is dead quiet in the hallway and the boys have to wear a belt with their pants because they had like seventeen guys who’s pants fell down so far you could see their underwear 😂
I graduated from high school in 1969. Girls were not allowed to wear pants, and our skirts had to touch the floor if we kneeled. It was ridiculous!
checking skirt length was routine in my high school during this period, too. what a waste of time.
Love how I could wear the same outfit as someone who's skinny in my school, and get dress coded while they didn't.
Yes! I had been dress coded before for wearing leggings and where the shirt did not cover my butt. I am a pear shaped woman, I am not thin nor do I have a straighter figure, so these longer shirts like a spirit jersey became fitted or tight by the time it got to my hips, let alone cover my ENTIRE backside-it was not baggy on my entire figure as it would be for thinner girls. They made me walk around with my winter coat tied around my hips to cover my big pear-shaped butt…
To wear a sweatshirt that would completely cover my butt I would have to order so many sizes up that some manufacturers do not make that size, at least the skinny manufacturers my school bought from: XXS to XL, make it make sense!
Especially with bottoms or with chest area😭
@@borkbork4124 Oh god😭
Love your work ❣️
Here in Australia, all schools (public or private) have uniforms. As a parent, it's great...no fighting about what is going to be worn. Also, decreases bullying about rich and poor. Also, it is the parents responsibility to provide uniforms. Thanks for all the podcasts...love you all.
You can still have the 'wrong' trainers, backpack, or whatever else. If kids want to bully, they'll find a way.
I LOVE YOUR STORies
Amazing work
Excellent work
in my all girls school we have to wear a button down shirt fully buttoned, and under shirt, ankle length black skirt, socks above ankles, sneakers, school logo sweater, no nail polish, no makeup, and hair has to be up.
When I was a junior in high school I was in a future educators class were we got to go to a local elementary school two day a week. There was a strict dress code on the days we had our placements. For example we couldn’t wear leggings (or any tight pants) unless our shirt was long enough to cover our butt. We could really only wear jeans, with no rips, or joggers/sweatpants. I was never dress coded, but there was one time my teacher made me feel extremely uncomfortable. This happened on class color day during spirit week. For part of my outfit I wore a blue tutu over a pair of black leggings. I figured since my butt was covered I would be fine. When we were all waiting for the bus my teacher came up to me and lifted part of my tutu and ask “if I was covered.” I just felt extremely uncomfortable, a grown woman should not do that to a teenager. I ended up telling her I had a jacket I could tie around my waist, but took it off once I got on the bus.
Love your work
I’m surprised the topic of mandatory dress / school uniforms didn’t come up. Back when I was in school, we were only allowed to wear khaki or navy pants and a red, navy, or white polo. Sometimes I appreciated it because I didn’t have a good sense of fashion and was afraid of being judged for my clothes, but the downside was that my family had to spend money on clothes that I could only use at school. I watched an interesting video about it on the Style Theorists channel in which they discuss this topic and I would love to hear your thoughts on it.
they did talk about uniforms for a good 7 minutes
@@jaciebennett7496 You’re absolutely right. I must’ve zoned out and missed it. Thank you!
Ugh i hated pe and having to change soo much. I would get sent to iss to just not go.
WOW! You are all fantastic, perceptive, and the hope for the future of education. You make me proud of today’s teachers when many politicians are manufacturing a crisis in education. As a retired Superintendent, I enjoyed watching Gabe’s videos (also because my son is in college to become a middle school teacher). Never listed to your podcast because of time (it takes time to golf everyday!), but l’ll be an avid listener.
Great work
Coming here from Spotify to ask. Since Meghan mentioned it; can yall do a video about student teaching? Did you have to do it (I'm in Canada where it's mandatory for teachers)? Have you had a student teacher come into your class... etc.
As someone currently in school, I think if there is instruction, hoods shouldn’t be allowed. After instruction though, I think hoods and ears being covered should be allowed. Hats should be allowed too, in my opinion, as long as ears are showing. Love the podcast ❤
Amazing work😍
I'm a crossing guard at the school where I went to when I was a kid, what I see the kids wearing. When I was a kid in the 80s and 90s we would have been sent home for I've seen kids wearing shorts in February, full out holes in jeans that would have gotten the kids sent home back in my day. I cannot believe I am old enough by the way to say back in my day for reference I graduated in 1992. I don't know I might even went to school with some of their parents. The dress code at my school is very lenient now.
My son wore shorts year round until he was in college. He’s 26 now and we were talking about and he said that at around 19 his legs felt cold for this first time. It was not a battle I wanted to put energy into because there were lots of serious ones that had to be addressed.
I know for me the hood was an insecurity thing. I very specifically remember one of my favorite teachers kicking me out of his room senior year for not being willing to take off my hood which sucked big time. My family was homeless so that day in particular I was having a really bad hair day and there was no way that even God himself was gonna make me take the hood off😭
Love your work 😍
Excellent job
I'm willing to bet that all the things read out in the 2 Truths & a Lie game were probably all true at some point in time.
The whole discussion around dress codes is fascinating though. I call spring "dress coding season" because there's always at least a few stories of girls being dress coded for stupid things like having collar bones or shoulders. And if you're a person with boobs larger than a B-cup you can be wearing a suit of armour and still accused of showing too much boob. One of the upsides of sweat shirts & hoodies is they're hard to argue lack of coverage; I knew a lot of girls who wore them for that reason because they were always being accused of distracting others.
The "distracting" excuse, in general, is scary as hell too.I've seen that used to discriminate against specific students, especially those with obvious disabilities. Any kid or parent who wants to be vindictive just throws that word around.
My daughter and her BFF did matching outfits. One a size 0 with B cups and the other a size 8 with B cups.... Both mothers were in agreement a non-sexual outfit but cute... one was dress coded the other not..An example of life is Not Fair....
@@marilynndapp5809 That doesn't surprise me. The biases around size & shape run so deep they people enforcing them aren't even aware their being unfair.
I'm sorry but that just means we are prioritizing male comfort over females. it's apparently OUR responsibility to protect men from their own lust because "they just can't help it! 🥺" yeah it's totally the mindset behind the "yeah but what was she wearing? what did she expect would happen?!" argument for SA or R. like freaking excuse me?! ugh! i get so heated with this topic!
@@calliemyersbuchanan6458 That has always been the narrative & the outcome of these policies, yes.
Whether re dress codes, morals clauses (the stuff teachers used to be contractually banned from doing is hair-curling), behaviour contracts, etc. there's been added responsibility and in many cases impossible standards applied to girls/women in schools. Most teachers & admins don't even see the connection to what you described.
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Something else about uniforms that wasn’t discussed is the fact that they can be very discriminatory for autistic students and other students with sensory issues, because some schools even go so far as to say you can only wear certain brands and styles (or purchase them from certain stores), and those options may not be sensory friendly. I attended a school like this, and as a late diagnosed autistic/ADHDer (undiagnosed in childhood) our uniforms in elementary school were ABSOLUTE SENSORY HELL- stiff fabrics, scratchy fabrics, rigid construction, itchy embroidered school logos/appliqués, itchy seams, tight waistbands, no stretch to anything, etc. They also required all shirts to be tucked in and a belt to be worn at all times with pants, which was neither flattering nor comfortable on me as a chubby kid with a belly. I was constantly fidgeting with my clothes and literally couldn’t focus in class because my body was so uncomfortable. It was so bad that I would break down crying every morning because it made me dread school, and my mom eventually had to talk to the principal about suitable alternatives. Thankfully she was able to convince her to let me have slight modifications that were more sensory friendly that I could actually stand to have on my body. This meant that sometimes we had to buy a slightly different style or brand than those everyone else had to have, but as long as the colors were the same I wouldn’t get in trouble. But sweatpants and yoga pants were still an absolute no-no, so because I’m a girl and we were never able to find a suitable alternative to the uniform pants that weren’t completely unbearable to me, I never wore pants to school a single time in elementary school, even in the winter. Instead I always just wore skirts and skorts, with the addition of tights in the winter. Needless to say I was SO HAPPY that I was able to apply and be accepted into both a middle school and high school that did NOT have uniforms, as I did not want to have to put up with such a sensory nightmare again that would have no doubt affected my academic performance.
Amazing
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Outstanding
Amazing ❤
Oh my gosh, the battle of the hoods was REAL at my last school. We had dozens of kids messing about during breaks and leaving the building during the day - of course they wanted to wear hoods so they wouldn’t get caught.
At the same school, I worked with a challenged population and noticed some of my kids struggled to have their laundry done. I instituted a “lost and found system” in my classroom. The official rule was if you left it on my floor or a chair it went in the box. On Fridays I took it home and washed it for “sanitary reasons.” When I noticed kids were struggling to have clean clothes, I’d pull them aside at some point and let them know they could discreetly leave things in the box if they needed to. Every Monday the clean items were folded on the front table. Admin and my department chair knew about it and said nothing.
Great information 👍
Love you work
I waited such a long time to hear stories about the dress codes
Very informative session
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I love the conversation about laundry.
Awesome ❤
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It feels so comfortable
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I went to a public charter school that had to wear uniforms. My principle did random dress code checks, and would make an announcement through the speakers instructing every student to stand up from their desks and put their hands in the air so the teachers could inspect us all. One time, when I put my hands up, my shirt got untucked and I was sent to the principles office to call home. That was the one and only time I ever got sent to the office. I still find it so bizarre that the people who were supposed to be educating us, had no problem robbing us of instruction time because our shirts weren't tucked in, our hair was too long, or our shirts weren't the perfect shade of red.