"Why is cleaning so hard when I'm depressed?"

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  • čas přidán 24. 01. 2024
  • This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton talks about why cleaning can be so hard when we are depressed, the reasons we can be depressed and still function at work or school. She then discusses how we actually go about processing emotions and traumas, and why we often want to retreat to our rooms when we don’t want to deal with others in the house. She also explains what she does when a patient with an eating disorder doesn’t want to get better, and how we can rebuild trust with our therapist after a difficult session.
    Ask Kati Anything audience questions for podcast ep. 200
    1. Why is cleaning so hard when depressed? On a scientific and spiritual level. This can be your room, body, car, etc. (COMMENTS: Same but I have autism as well as depression and even when I break tasks down into smaller tasks the number of things I need to do just seems so overwhelming...
    2. Can you be “functional “ at work and deeply depressed at the same time? Sometimes I wonder if I’m just lazy when it comes to things that aren’t required of me.
    3. How do you process emotions and traumas? I have been told many times that I need to deal with emotions and process them instead of ignoring them, and it makes sense but I don’t understand how to do that.
    4. I find myself retreating to my room a lot as a safe space when I don't want to deal with others in the house. Is this an unhealthy way of coping?
    5. How would you react if you had a new client who engages in disordered eating but doesn’t want to change their behaviors? I started seeing a new therapist 3 weeks ago and it’s been going well so far. I have so many things that I want to work on!
    6. Hi Kati! My question is about rebuilding trust with my therapist after a tough therapy appointment. My therapist told me that her clinical “sense of things” thinks I would benefit from inpatient ED treatment. I’m a teacher and could not even imagine taking more than a couple days off because I’m sick or need to take a personal day. I worry that she will judge me for continuing outpatient treatment with her. I’m also worried that my honesty with...
    ------
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    Traumatized geni.us/Bfak0j
    Are u ok? bit.ly/2s0mULy
    ONLINE THERAPY
    While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: betterhelp.com/kati
    Join this channel to get access to perks:
    / @katimorton
    PATREON www.katimorton.com/kati-morto...
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    PARTNERSHIP
    Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com
    PLEASE READ
    If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

Komentáře • 119

  • @JE4-1
    @JE4-1 Před 4 měsíci +92

    This is not a video about cleaning, this a video of compassion and empathy. Kati understands depression. Thank you.

  • @andrewoats
    @andrewoats Před 4 měsíci +8

    It’s such a vicious cycle. Depression makes your house messier which makes the depression worse.

  • @jrojas2520
    @jrojas2520 Před 4 měsíci +34

    Everything can be difficult during depression. 😢

  • @louniece1650
    @louniece1650 Před 4 měsíci +37

    As a child, I was beaten and SAd during doing my chores. As an adult, I experience extreme distress when cleaning, especially in the kitchen/bathroom and vaccuming. My mother left no stone unturned. Cleaning is trauma-repeat for me.😢😓

    • @nickkane8270
      @nickkane8270 Před 4 měsíci +6

      I had a similar hangup, but I found a way around it by hiring others to do what is difficult for me. I then have more spoons to focus on what is easier for me which is my career I feel this is definitely not one size fits all advice because Those were just working a job and not really on a career that they love, this may not be as effective for. It is doable, even if you make very little money per year because I make less than 19 K a year, and still managed to hire people to help me with the things that are trauma, triggering and difficult or that I just have a extreme block doing even if I don’t know why it is hard for me to do it.

    • @happysmileylips
      @happysmileylips Před 2 měsíci

      I'm so sorry you two went through abuse while cleaning! I have a psycho family member who used to beat my cousin when he didn't say the days of the week correctly. What trauma these crazy adults put their children through! It's very sad! I hope the advice given above can help! I didn't go through what y'all went through, but my mom and her siblings went through a lot, so that's why I had to respond and just offer a little sympathy! God bless y'all?

  • @christina_cl
    @christina_cl Před 4 měsíci +8

    Executive disfunction and depression make any task a struggle. I have thrown some slices of meat into my mouth, then cheese and lettuce, and ate them separately because making a sandwich felt overwhelming. I wish more of the general population understood this type of struggle instead of calling people lazy and making it worse.

    • @User-qn1gs1ig4q62
      @User-qn1gs1ig4q62 Před 3 měsíci

      Executive dysfunction is one of the things I find hardest to explain to others cos they say they can't understand why I can't just do things I hope Kati does a video about executive dysfunction to help me explain it in a way other people understand

    • @Brainjoy01
      @Brainjoy01 Před měsícem

      I’ve contemplated just wearing adult diapers because going to the bathroom (5 steps from my bedroom) seems like too much

  • @kiaya141
    @kiaya141 Před 4 měsíci +33

    I have found the book "How to Keep House While Drowning" by KC Davis to be super helpful for tools and tips on how to help you keep your space functional when dealing with Depression and/or ADHD. She also has a podcast called "Struggle Care". Both are super compassionate and have really easy actionable tools and tips.

    • @Gunna5067
      @Gunna5067 Před 4 měsíci +2

      Unfuck Your Habitat is also good. It talks about depression and problems it poses.

    • @celestehernandez2000
      @celestehernandez2000 Před 2 měsíci

      🙏Thank you for this.

  • @brianreusch3751
    @brianreusch3751 Před 4 měsíci +20

    I’ve been called “Lazy” so many times because my depression kept me from cleaning.

    • @Gunna5067
      @Gunna5067 Před 4 měsíci +1

      Yes, me too. It just makes things worse.

    • @Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry
      @Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry Před 4 měsíci

      I was called, "lazy" as a kid for not being as obediently neat as my older brother by five years. A LOT of shame around this issue for me. My mother equated being obsessively clean/neat with a person's worth.

  • @Lemonady
    @Lemonady Před 4 měsíci +27

    Timestamps!
    Q1 - 0:45
    Q2 - 10:46
    Q3 - 15:39
    Q4 - 21:48
    Q5 - 28:10
    Q6 - 34:18

  • @ADogNamedBoo
    @ADogNamedBoo Před 4 měsíci +5

    No one ever said, on their death bed, “I wish I’d spent more time cleaning.” I struggle mightily with this, to the point where some friends refuse to come to my house. Still didn’t motivate me. Had MDD before they named it (1973) and then was dx’d with Borderline PD and dysthymia. Worked and supported myself my whole life. I’m retired now, never married or had children, so if I don’t want to clean, I’m not going to clean. I’m not a hoarder, plenty of room to walk and sit, etc. just clutter and dust and dirty dishes. Mostly lol. Thanks, Katie, for being so compassionate and giving, even when you’re not feeling well yourself. ❤️

  • @MusicIsARainbow
    @MusicIsARainbow Před 4 měsíci +21

    I started a supplement with vitamin D and it made a huge difference with my fatigue. I even manage to clean now when I’m on my period. Fatigue took me down for a week or so before and it was so frustrating.

    • @kwynnriess9464
      @kwynnriess9464 Před 4 měsíci

      which one??

    • @MusicIsARainbow
      @MusicIsARainbow Před 4 měsíci +1

      @@sosickofworkingfordan They only have the gummies on Amazon now, but it’s Nordic Natural Immune and it’s less than $18 right now got a 20 day supply. I think I noticed a difference after about a month. They have vitamin C, Zinc, and elderberry in addition to the vitamin D.

  • @rvanhees89
    @rvanhees89 Před 4 měsíci +9

    Hey this is exactly what im going through right now!
    Rooms a mess, head's depressed

  • @michelem189
    @michelem189 Před 4 měsíci +25

    From my experience (your mileage may vary), the worse the depressive episode gets, the heavier *everything* gets -- including my head and arms. But when I feel better enough to do the smallest of tasks, I tend to overdo and push myself onto other tasks, cuz I want to get done as much as I can before everything gets heavy again. That usually ends in several started but unfinished items on my to-do list, which is immediately followed by a feeling of being overwhelmed, which leads to a major anxiety attack. It's a vicious cycle. (FYI: I am being treated by a medical professional.)

    • @IAm-qf2xb
      @IAm-qf2xb Před 4 měsíci

      Felt that wow

    • @celestehernandez2000
      @celestehernandez2000 Před 2 měsíci

      I know exactly what you’re describing. The started but unfinished tasks issue is something I also struggle with so badly. Even things I like, like art, I never finish that painting and I end up with a shit ton of half finished projects. This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to go through.

  • @hannahbrown5995
    @hannahbrown5995 Před 4 měsíci +5

    Re: not cleaning, I also think that if you naturally struggle being tidy and don't like housework (like me!) if you're depressed and in survival mode the things you find hard are going to be the first things to go, because your brain is dispensing with anything too difficult or unenjoyable.
    Also, if you're depressed for a long time you can often find clutter familiar so it's weirdly comforting. Sometimes i feel very uncomfortable in an overly tidy space because if I live in it I'll make a mess and have to tidy it

  • @nomoreexcuses7847
    @nomoreexcuses7847 Před 3 měsíci +1

    I NEEDED THIS!! I can always tell when my depression is creeping up by how clean (or not clean) my home is. I knew it related to my motivation and fatigue but the idea that I had little hope for tomorrow really hit home. I cant even explain. I also love the quote about laziness. I almost cried out of relief and validation!! Thank you so much!!

  • @sadietaylor7065
    @sadietaylor7065 Před 4 měsíci +14

    I needed this topic so bad, thank you so much ❤

  • @kimberlymisfit3544.
    @kimberlymisfit3544. Před 4 měsíci +7

    Thank you❤I am ,like alot of people, good at putting on a mask,pretending like I'm OK when I'm dying inside.

    • @turquoisoul
      @turquoisoul Před 4 měsíci

      I can't say I'm okey when i feel like dying inside, and force to pretend I'm okey. Just makes me feel more depressed. Ended up developing social anxiety...

    • @ladybaabaa3294
      @ladybaabaa3294 Před 3 měsíci

      I've been masking since about age 7, and it became REALLY difficult NOT to do it after age 12-13. (I don't have ASD or ADHD, but I had anxiety since age 4, OCD since age 7, AvPD from somewhere between age 8-12, BPD from age 16, CPTSD from stuff that started happening at age 4, and then depression for about 10 years.
      I felt / still feel embarrassed to show any "negative" emotions like sadness, anger, fear, etc. I didn't and don't want anyone to worry about me. So I always acted like everything was fine. And I still do, at age 45.

  • @esterbengoa6077
    @esterbengoa6077 Před 4 měsíci +19

    Im watching another CZcamsr and she cleans houses of very depressed people. She is compassionate and funny.

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 Před 4 měsíci +3

      There are some people with ADHD who do that. Clean people's houses for free.

    • @bill4632
      @bill4632 Před 4 měsíci +3

      Which channel?

    • @esterbengoa6077
      @esterbengoa6077 Před 4 měsíci

      @bill4632 youtube.com/@Aurikatariina?si=vmTVS-zhC-pPKPGW
      Watching this helped me to start cleaning my house.

    • @JenJenANDChrissy
      @JenJenANDChrissy Před 4 měsíci

      @@bill4632 Aurakatarina. She is from Finland and mostly cleans hoarding apartments in her country on her channel. She is partnered with some cleaning supply companies and they have taken her to Spain and other countries to spread her good deeds. She loves messy houses and makes them look so beautiful. She will normally share the story of her customers and all of them have depression and/or addiction. She is very compassionate and is proud of giving hope to people by having them live in clean spaces.

    • @stephaniemerrill4515
      @stephaniemerrill4515 Před 4 měsíci

      @MidwestMagicCleaning

  • @melnelly5918
    @melnelly5918 Před 4 měsíci +2

    It's a catch 22. I had to rely on doctors and psychiatrists because I was unable to function or think for myself. I was detached from my body and the world. I had so many issues with antidepressants and had to go to hospital due to the side effects. The change of my GP changed it when she viewed the side effects. For me I improved when I stopped antidepressants and learnt the bit by bit. Just do as much cleaning as possible and then stop. I used to set a timer as well for 10 or 20 minutes when I felt I couldn't achieve anything. Small goals and then have a break. Unfortunately professionals can lead us down the wrong path in our medication choices. If you don't have to take antidepressants don't take them. Gentle exercise helped me a lot.

  • @carlmullerlane
    @carlmullerlane Před 4 měsíci +1

    The "raft" was a very good analogy that could apply to any unhealthy coping mechanism & mental health struggles. Nicely done. 👍

  • @gentleben7275
    @gentleben7275 Před 4 měsíci +5

    Kati, this is the best, most comprehensive, crystal clear talk on the subject of depression I have ever seen on youtube. How do I know this? I am chronically depressed, and it comes with social anxiety (diagnosed) and possibly ADHD (not diagnosed). In particular, you stated that if you are enjoying yourself when you are not getting work done, then you're lazy. If you are not having fun, then you are depressed. In my case, before I was retired, it was never fun. But since I retired, depression is lessened simply by the fact that i sometimes actually enjoy being listless, because that is part of being retired. No guilt is accrued when being listless in retirement. But this only seems to take the edge off the depression, and does not negate it altogether. The depression still happens, and getting myself to do simple stuff regularly is a major project..

  • @JenJenANDChrissy
    @JenJenANDChrissy Před 4 měsíci +2

    How did you know I needed this video today? Has my smart speaker been listening to my life again? I've been recovering from job burnout since Aug 2023 and 3 weeks ago have had 2 family members die. My cat is diagnosed with possible lymphoma and my MIL's breast cancer is out of remission. I know that when I'm sad and mourning a big loss, I don't feel like cleaning and just give myself a break. I want to hire a cleaning lady just for a day to do a deep clean, but hubby says no, even though we can easily afford it. I hate when my house is messy and disorganized and dusty! However, I just don't have the mental or physical energy to take care of it. I try to do laundry, but will end up forgetting it in the washer and have to run it once more in the cycle...sometimes twice because I forgot about it twice. I find myself being clumsy and keep dropping silly things like my toothbrush, hair brush, dishes, bags of groceries, etc. My therapist says it's because right now I'm not "present" in my life. I agree. I feel like a freaking zombie.

    • @saratf
      @saratf Před 4 měsíci

      I’ve heard no from my husband too in the past and I listened and I was very wrong. If he doesn’t clean, maybe you should hire someone.

  • @alainduffort5436
    @alainduffort5436 Před 19 dny

    Excellent presentation. It's like talking to a friend. She understands depression. It helped me.

  • @MrTaylorAries
    @MrTaylorAries Před 4 měsíci +1

    I’m finding myself barely able to work this month even with meds…I appreciate your videos so much as I attempt to get through this period

  • @tabathajc1981
    @tabathajc1981 Před 4 měsíci

    Thank you, KATI! I always love your insight!

  • @celestialcucumber4684
    @celestialcucumber4684 Před 4 měsíci +2

    Kati- your raft/ED analogy quite literally made me cry. So beautifully put, you left me feeling very seen. It’s so hard to let it go, it’s been there through so much. But my boat has arrived, and I do plan on grabbing the hand lent to me and getting on board. Hopefully I will gain the courage to talk to my T. Thanks for all you do, dear Kati. 💕

  • @GK-qc5ry
    @GK-qc5ry Před 4 měsíci +4

    Thank you Kati 🙏

  • @cre8ivelife554
    @cre8ivelife554 Před 4 měsíci +2

    Thanks for doing what you do!

  • @happysmileylips
    @happysmileylips Před 2 měsíci

    I seemed to have a complete disconnect from my brain and actions. I had to tell myself to do things. Like get up and put on your shoes. I'm mentally cheering myself on. And it is difficult just to get up!
    I think I've recovered from depression, but i do feel a loss of who i was and I'm at the point of rediscovering who i am, what type of clothes i like, what hobbies used to make me happy, how to enjoy singing again... I'm exploring a world that i lost through depression and at the same time my life has drastically changed because I'm married now.

  • @worsethanjoerogan8061
    @worsethanjoerogan8061 Před 4 měsíci +4

    Maybe I'm just weird but I sometimes find it cathartic to put some music on and clean my place as fast as possible. When i feel depressed the last thing i want to do is just stew on it.

  • @user-ff2gx8fy4e
    @user-ff2gx8fy4e Před 3 měsíci +1

    This really HELPS, thank you Kati. Very very depressed and consumed by anxiety, SAH stroke in 2015, Psy retired 3 years ago, after adding a diagnosis of ADHD. After 3 years I cut out all the medication exception for the Ritalin (first and only thing which actually gets me out of bed if not out of my home) and Bromazepam to bring down the anxiety which goes through the roof even worse some days after taking the Ritalin (high doses, this also taken early evening helps a little to restore my sleep). It REALLY HELPS to see this vlog on depression and not being able to even minimally manage one's own close personal living space. I wish I could just SHOUT FOR HELP through the window and that some "saviour" medical or otherwise would fly in the window and take charge and help me if not "cure" me. Miserable, guilty, exhausted, paralysed with confusion, on disability since SAH in 2015, afraid, alone, in France, aged 59 🐞🐾🌸🌺🌻

  • @nikkimckay860
    @nikkimckay860 Před 4 měsíci +2

    Kati morton.good afternoon and happy Thursday too you nice too see you again and listen to your soft calming voice it's been a while since I watched these AKA podcasts s the name of the first question got me interested in watching because I can't get myself to clean my room or myself up when I'm very depressed 😢❤❤❤

  • @TheRandyGr
    @TheRandyGr Před 4 měsíci

    Every time I see you opening up and exposing your own inner sadness I just want to wrap my arms around you and try to hug away that pain. Sadly I have no one that feels the same way about me. Depression and solitude is emotionally devastating!! Most days I don't see the need to even get out of bed or even try to be alive!! :(

  • @indridcold8433
    @indridcold8433 Před 4 měsíci +1

    I treat my severe depression with intense physical work. I work harder to keep the horrible thoughts at bay. At work, my station is the cleanest, most organized station. That is hard to do when one is a mechanic. I even polish my tool boxes and tools. With my three nights off a week, I will tend to my house to the most minute detail. It is immaculate, extremely well maintained, and super modernised keeping everything on voice command and remotely configurable. My automobile is 28 years old, but spotless clean and in perfect order. My yard is immaculate, as well. I put up a wooden fence painted it, trimmed all the bushes and grass to perfection, clean branches out, made a firepit from cinder blocks, built two sheds, put up antennas, and even keep my house perfectly painted and the roof in perfect shape. None of this is because I am a clean freak, perfectionist, a gear head, a lawn freak, nor a carpenter. This is my therapy. I must keep myself myself as busy as humanly possible. By recreation is hiking, swimming, off roading, climbing, biking, all the physically hard things I can do. Sometimes, I feel like my heart is going to explode. But, I must keep going. The demons that reside in me will torment me to the point of getting me to feel the need to do unspeakable things. Schizophrenia and deep depression makes for ideal bedfellows to torture a mind. Right now, I am changing the clutch in my ancient jeep. I am waiting for the pressure plate to arrive. Thus, I am cleaning the undercarriage manually.

  • @harrymetalhead3776
    @harrymetalhead3776 Před 4 měsíci +4

    Katie in my head again ! 💕💕

  • @nicolemarie1909
    @nicolemarie1909 Před 4 měsíci +3

    Great advice

  • @nancyliawoods
    @nancyliawoods Před 4 měsíci

    Thanks so much ❤

  • @rebecca5109
    @rebecca5109 Před 2 měsíci

    You really get it. I can do so well at work. Almost OCD and I can’t do anything at home.

  • @user-lr6xv7wj5o
    @user-lr6xv7wj5o Před 4 měsíci

    I LOVED THE RAFT ANALOGY!!!!

  • @Gunna5067
    @Gunna5067 Před 4 měsíci

    Thanks, I've been struggling with cleaning my place. Feeling guilty about doesn't help so it's good to know there's á readon.

  • @sutton4791
    @sutton4791 Před 4 měsíci +1

    My worst barriers at home right now is dishes and recyclables. Most of the time I get motivation to actually make a home cooked meal. I have to clean for over a half an hour, and by then. I lose my motivation and/or too tired (lethargic) to prepare and cook it. Then I use the cleaned dishes for a lazy meal and start the cycle over. Sometimes the cycle breaks and make it anyway or make it the next day instead since I'm so tired, but really delicious meals like homemade tikka masala, vegetable beef stew, or baked chicken with homemade mashed potatoes. I haven't made them in like 2 years. It's gotten so bad. I won't eat all day until nighttime sometimes cuz it's... easier? Causing an unhealthy calorie intake well under 1000 for a day. I've lost a lot of weight unintentionally the last year this way. I wish my stew could appear in front of me right now. Gonna try to make taco burritos in a few minutes, but have to clean all the dishes first. Sigh...

  • @Eco_Hiko
    @Eco_Hiko Před 3 měsíci +1

    I'm literally experiencing the lethargy of depression right now. Been sat on my couch just wondering what I'm going to do with my evening

  • @suhailasabah425
    @suhailasabah425 Před měsícem

    Love you Kati♥️

  • @mariabrundy9495
    @mariabrundy9495 Před 4 měsíci +2

    Jornay pm is awsome I can focus and actually get stuff done. It is an adhd med that you take at night and it starts working around the time you wake up. I have tried almost everything and this is the only thing that works for me.

    • @ceebd8554
      @ceebd8554 Před 4 měsíci

      Thank you for sharing about Jornay PM

  • @ams6335
    @ams6335 Před 4 měsíci +1

    I'm lying in bed right now wondering that same question...is it my depression or ADHD? How do I find someone who actually understands enough to help? I still find a lot of therapists still don't fully understand ADHD.

  • @KarnodAldhorn
    @KarnodAldhorn Před 4 měsíci +3

    How can I submit questions? Do I go to patreon or do I become a channel member?

  • @KristenKras
    @KristenKras Před 4 měsíci

    Yes, I get it now. I am depressed, I am medication but I'm still depressed, medication x2. However, pysch doesn't want me to change dose. So, I'm stuck here. I do struggle with cleaning. I clean myself but the house suffers a bit.

  • @user-gn3ps7df5s
    @user-gn3ps7df5s Před 4 měsíci

    I loved it so much when Kati said our culture says needing attention is bad and attention seeking behavior is bad of them, but it’s really the only way they know how to communicate their problem. Often times this attention seeking behavior is done because they don’t know how to communicate it differently, it’s the only way they know how to express their pain. Everybody needs attention. This is a misconception that needs to be corrected about people.

  • @thatswhatisaidCA
    @thatswhatisaidCA Před 4 měsíci

    This sounds like there is a system of breaking things into small parts, but "feeling like it" is the problem. I'm sure if you keep going you will start to feel like it over time (possibly), but getting there...

  • @esterbengoa6077
    @esterbengoa6077 Před 4 měsíci +2

    I have suffered for a horrible challenging time, and, as I'm overweight, my bed has sunk on the part I rest. My legs are up now, so at least my blood circulation is winning.

    • @ginadellgrottaglia6897
      @ginadellgrottaglia6897 Před 4 měsíci +2

      Circ issues (CVI/lymphedema) here too. I feel ya. Hang in there! 💕

    • @esterbengoa6077
      @esterbengoa6077 Před 4 měsíci +2

      @ginadellgrottaglia6897 looking better. I am about to start a new job and I know it's going to be better. Onwards and upwards, like my legs. Thank you. ❤️ ❤️

    • @ginadellgrottaglia6897
      @ginadellgrottaglia6897 Před 4 měsíci

      @@esterbengoa6077 Yes yes. One person who is helping me a lot is Cancer Rehab PT. She specializes in all things blood/lymph flow, not just from cancer. If you like Kati here... you'll like Kelly.
      Congrats on the new job! 🎉

  • @mentalhealthwithalana
    @mentalhealthwithalana Před 4 měsíci

    I have Schizoaffective disorder and struggle with executive function so much

  • @TG-nh6ni
    @TG-nh6ni Před 4 měsíci

    Nobody at work believes that I have depression/anxiety/autism/adhd because I perform so well. 😢 Dealing with toxic family members and at least at work I'm not being attacked/abused/constantly criticized.

  • @dlight2669
    @dlight2669 Před 4 měsíci

    I have a cup of coffee a little bit of chocolate put on some music great tunes that you love that's what is a great motivator to clean is good tunes and I put the timer on and I just cleaned for set time and stop. Then I go into another room clean for a set time and stop try to get a little bit done in each room.
    I hate doing dishes that is my ultimate turn off, so I go into the kitchen put on a podcast that lasts for about a half an hour to 45 minutes and by the time that is done I've got everything in the kitchen dishes counters everything cleaned and I was able to enjoy what I was doing for me that is the key put on something enjoyable to listen to and it helps move me along in the cleaning with something to help me along in the process that makes the task, less daunting, go faster and takes away the hum drum factor.😊

  • @Heywoodjablowme420
    @Heywoodjablowme420 Před 3 měsíci

    I'm torn cause i was raised by a mom with depression and other mental problems but i didnt know until I was 27...she wouldn't clean and like i know I'm no where near how we lived but I was never taught how to clean.. I learned through jobs like had no clue how to mop...that being said I probably do have depression as well but i just wonder had I been shown any sort of good habit would it be easier lol

  • @antiochiaadtaurum3786
    @antiochiaadtaurum3786 Před 4 měsíci +2

    I'd need not necessarily be depression that causes a lack of cleaning. It can be an aspect of anxiety, or ptsd, the freeze response for example.
    Some people just are not in the moment, in their senses, they don't even notice most objects in their rooms, so how are they going to clean them ?

    • @kathleenbigsmoke-mitchell4898
      @kathleenbigsmoke-mitchell4898 Před 4 měsíci

      I remember having moments where I 'wake up' & see my space as eww, this is really messy! All other times i dont see it

  • @fionag8869
    @fionag8869 Před 3 měsíci

    I always feel like im at war with myself, one prt of me knows i need to do this or that but my body always says NO, so i end up not doing wat my mind wants to do

  • @alibongois
    @alibongois Před 2 měsíci

    I Love the raft analogy.ñl

  • @laitinlok1
    @laitinlok1 Před 4 měsíci

    I keep changing the medicine and none of the anti-depressant feels comfortable. My psychiatrist keep changing the medicine, only the mood stabiliser feels good to my mental health and obsessive thoughts.

  • @jimmiller9330
    @jimmiller9330 Před 4 měsíci

    Perhaps there is a relationship between depression and hoarding.

  • @james0805
    @james0805 Před 4 měsíci

    I felt like I had 500 lbs on my back from all day long, making doing things incredibly difficult

  • @natashamudford4011
    @natashamudford4011 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Thanks for the video Kati. How are things in Austin? Are you finding friendly people to hang out with? So many people i like to watch on YT are in that area. Truthstream Media. JP Sears. Joe Rogan. Deal (minus the a) (opposite of small) tree, whose name is forbidden here. Also, one of my many brothers and his wife live there. I hope you are meeting interesting friendly people and making some comfortable connections. 💜

  • @zumbach242
    @zumbach242 Před 2 měsíci

    I know that being lazy would be enjoying it but what if you're to take a step back from depression and you enjoy yourself would that be lazy too?

  • @marinakiell1069
    @marinakiell1069 Před 4 měsíci +2

    Appointment CZcams 😉😁
    [Appoinment TV]

  • @Exodus26.13Pi
    @Exodus26.13Pi Před 4 měsíci +2

    My wife will Lovingly ask if she needs to do the simple chore and I'm in a hurry to help, I'm offended she was gonna do it instead of me!
    However If she tells me to do 3 simple things I rage at my life's total failure!!! How could God create such an evil human like me?!
    See the difference? 😊

  • @spacezeroin
    @spacezeroin Před 4 měsíci

    Who is holding him ir her in the head?
    Who is the that one who sees everything only there? The one who only feels and knows?
    Who is helping body to kill the soul?
    who is bringing up physical power to fix own feelings?

  • @ladyasaid
    @ladyasaid Před 4 měsíci

    Have you thought About the ketogenic therapeutic lifestyle?? (Is helps me more than any med, but yes I'm still on my 6 meds, but it still WORKS with meds. )
    Check the research by MEDICAL DR'S ONLY. ❤

  • @STEVOLOVESTHAILAND
    @STEVOLOVESTHAILAND Před 2 měsíci

    I wish you here, I know I can’t want that. I just want to be understood or I need a hug, love, I can’t clean also. I don’t have much or any hope.

  • @markmuller7962
    @markmuller7962 Před 4 měsíci +6

    Imagine depressed plus ADHD

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 Před 4 měsíci +3

      Plus CPTSD plus grief plus poverty plus betrayal Trauma plus autism plus new stuff I keep learning about, and existing medical conditions. No health coverage or transportation.
      Too many decisions to be made even in her make a sandwich example. When there isn't much in the kitchen. Sometimes the only thing I know how to do is boil water. So it has to be something instant like rice, potatoes or ramen
      I'm out of peanut butter but survived one week on a small jar of PB by just eating a spoon full whenever the hunger came
      I'm so skinny

    • @markmuller7962
      @markmuller7962 Před 4 měsíci

      @@recoveringsoul755 Are you Japanese?

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 Před 4 měsíci +1

      @@markmuller7962 noooo

    • @markmuller7962
      @markmuller7962 Před 4 měsíci +1

      @@recoveringsoul755 Oh ok, I'm sorry for your struggle, I went into a similar situation for 25 years so I can definitely empathise.
      May I ask which country has such a poor welfare state?

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 Před 4 měsíci

      @@markmuller7962 I'm not sure it's my country. More my personal circumstances. Really bad divorce, awful lawyers and never ending. It's been a long time since I've felt like anyone had my back, or even any emergency contact.

  • @Pleasekillme12369
    @Pleasekillme12369 Před 4 měsíci

    i clean more for some reason idk why

  • @ladybaabaa3294
    @ladybaabaa3294 Před 3 měsíci +1

    I have depression with severe anhedonia, BPD, CPTSD, OCD, AvPD and chronic anxiety since age 4.
    I sleep all day (12+ hours) as nothing is of interest and there's no enjoyment. I also want to avoid feeling my constant anxiety and boring emptiness.
    I last showered in mid-November. Almost 4 months ago. I just can't be bothered. I last did a load of laundry in June 2021. I never do housework.
    I cannot cook and also have no interest in food. I lost my appetite 7 years ago from prolonged trauma and it never came back. I only eat one meal a day (dinner). If I was to even try and make a sandwich for example, for dinner, I'd be like...UGH, why would I bother? I'm not hungry. What's the point of taking 15 boring minutes to make something I don't even want? (so I have a frozen microwave meal)
    That quote about laziness...WOW! THANK YOU! I never thought about it that way before. I don't think I'm lazy, but some others do.
    Edit - yes, I have a regular long term GP and a good psychologist. I've been on various antidepressants since early 2013. I've tried 7 of them during that time. Only 2 didn't make me feel EVEN worse. I also tried a mood stabiliser, an atypical antipsychotic, Ritalin, Tramadol, CBD oil...plus various benzos. Xanax is the only thing that actually helped me. Sadly, that's not a viable long term option.
    I've also been in therapy for 6 years. CBT, DBT, ACT, IFS and Schema therapy, ISTDP and psychodynamic talk therapy. I tried EMDR but I was never able to get stable enough to actually start it. 😢

  • @BEACHDUDE71
    @BEACHDUDE71 Před 4 měsíci

    Depression is not laziness

  • @narusaskita
    @narusaskita Před 4 měsíci

    i have more depressive episodes in my whole life in general *yet*, than a kdrama 😎

  • @terhisomersalo8588
    @terhisomersalo8588 Před 4 měsíci

    So managing in one area of life isn't healthy and in the reality there are people who really succeed in all 3 areas?? 😮😮😮

  • @Mdot37
    @Mdot37 Před 4 měsíci

    Kati, I need help

  • @eledeog
    @eledeog Před 4 měsíci

    Is it weird that I think it’s cute when you say "my restrictive types" and "my boulimics"? 😳

  • @alibongois
    @alibongois Před 2 měsíci

    If u seek validation for feeling raped and there's a chunk of childhood missing and then flash backs happen, does that mean the flashbacks ARE real?

  • @gin6752
    @gin6752 Před 4 měsíci

    Why do you refer to clients as patients? Feels like doctor (higher) - patient (lower). Seems like an outdated view of the doctor outside, rather than within the client.

  • @TheModernVictorian
    @TheModernVictorian Před měsícem +1

    You lost my attention when you were suggesting going to the doctor and saying 'i am already on the max dose and nothing helps'.. Here's a thought, how about stop with the highly questionable neuroleptic drugs? And if you are the kind of person who is unfortunate enough to 'be on the max dose' and finding it doesn't help, quite clearly the antispychotic drugs are probably not going to be any better when your doctor just switches them out for something else, altering your brain chemistry even more. Nearly every school shooting had a string of antispychotic drug prescriptions behind it, and from my own experience with my partner who was at one time taking Sertraline, she was apathetic, careless, didn't care about anything and in her words for pretty much everything in life 'can't be f****d'. She stopped that junk cold turkey, had electric shock feelings through her brain for a month, and coudln't even walk down some supermarket isles because depending on the lighting and shape, would send her brain into a feeling of zapping or static. The most normal, benign things we walk past every day would trigger her brain into an overload while coming off Sertraline. After a month of that, and not taking anything, she got back to normal, her mood picked up, she started to clean and look after herself and she started to take on her problems head on and dealt with them and won her challenges. You have to work, not sit there watching tiktok, and anything else that just enables procrastination.

  • @ginadellgrottaglia6897
    @ginadellgrottaglia6897 Před 4 měsíci +1

    @Kati Morton Ooooo, your eating disorder lies to the patient really resonated with me. I'm enjoying being physically disabled way more than I should because, after a lifetime of invisible disabilities... I can shove being crippled in their faces lol. "Look. See. Look at these legs. You think I can _____??!"
    I know it's all lies. I can get (quite a bit) better if I really try. It's just sooo overwhelming, to stay on track with the waxing and waning. I watch Raelan Agle and her ilk for support/ideas on recovering from debilitating illnesses, also many PT/OT channels. So I'm gaining the tools...
    I'm sitting here watching this vid while merrily doing Duolingo matchups. Second week #1 on the leaderboard and rEally enjoying becoming more and more proficient in French, plus the kicking-of-butt. It's because I've got it worked out. A plan. A strategy. A habit. It's a Win. No one cares lol, but a W nonetheless.
    Now I need to take those winning skills and... do the harder stuff. But yeah, if I stop coddling the lies, I'll be all right.
    Thanks. Great vid.

  • @amandamcquade1272
    @amandamcquade1272 Před 4 měsíci +1

    💪🧹🪣🧼🫧🧺🫥🫡 My dearest friend, with (C)PTSD as I have, used to say 🏯🏰🏡🏘🏚🏜🌋 *HOUSE AS SELF* 🤕🤢😭😱😟🙄🤔😉😇
    I am FINALLY getting my big old house ready for Auction on March 2. It's a GOOD THING, that was impossible in the face of multiple bereavements. The expected death of my 72 year old Brother from MS...then the shocking loss of beloved Nephew and more beloved Best Friend, within a month, 5 months after brother. I shut down for 18 months....the length of two pregnancies. Two lives sailing out, too soon...the"birthing" in early December was a breach birth (a bit of kicking was involved) but I am 🙃😉 right side up now, and breathing the air.🌫🏞🌄🌅 Hello, New World...here I AM! 🌟🌈👶👧👩👩‍🦳
    🩶🌫🌬🌬🌊🌊🌊⛵️🌊🌊🌀🌊🌊🌈🌠🌌🕊