The Narcissist's Family Cult
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- čas přidán 26. 07. 2024
- The characteristics of a cult are nearly the exact same as those of a family where the matriarch or patriarch is a narcissist or psychopath. In this video you'll find out about the characteristics of a narcissist's family cult. Stay tuned for the tips at the end if you're thinking about defecting.
The Narcissistic Abuse blog referenced: narcsucks.blogspot.com/
Inside the Criminal Mind (Netflix series) Episode 3: Cult Leaders
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NOTE: Meredith Miller is not a therapist or counselor. She is a holistic integration coach, helping you to self-heal and transform your life after narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. Meredith teaches the mindsets and tactical skills to help with recovery. She works with a mind-body-spirit approach to wellness that is a valuable complement to traditional psychotherapy. Meredith recommends that you also seek out a licensed therapist who has experience with narcissistic abuse and relational trauma in order to help you with the complex-PTSD symptoms. Thank you for taking responsibility for yourself!
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So you do that spill, then just dump and go. I know y think you done something
@@dkiwi2839 Why are you insulting her? She's still offering help on a different platform. She has a life as well.
This episode is absolutely “nail on head” and 100% accurate. I completely cut the individuals off and it has been very interesting to watch from a distance! A safe distance...
Yeah well they can kiss my Ass!!! 1 of these family members.
Lol it reminds me of my life! I can't go to,the bathroom with out these people causing this. As long as they know ....we are not,going to take this abuse anymores, me n,my fiancee don't want to,be involved nomores with these people and family. We dip out
Being an outcast in a toxic family is actually a gift. You just can't see it until later. Use it to create great art!
That's What Gave Me a Unique Vi22in life. N i Am Starting To Understand All The suffering
Omg it’s such a gift …I’ve never felt so much peace in my life …it’s after separating myself that I really realized how much toxicity I was exposed to
♥️🌹
Wouldn't the gift be to not be born into a toxic family in the first place? I was born into very high toxic family and find myself impossibly stuck within those confines still.
@@sheldor73 yea, that was me. Remind yourself you’re the one that got out. Now bring your mind and soul that’s still over there with them to where you’re at and enjoy your new journey. It feels lonely but it won’t always be like that forever. ❤️
The scapegoat is always the TRUTH TELLER. If u are stay strong and GET OUT AND STAY OUT.
I escaped my ex and the ex in laws who were a narcissistic family. The mother, I suspect, has undiagnosed mental illness. She doesn't stay in reality for long and is always positive to the point of it being delusional. My ex and his sister would always say "Well that's mom." I thought something was off when I first met his mother but the ex and his sister just ignored it. There were no boundaries with the mother and her late husband, the ex's father. They would show up and walk into our house without notice. The mom bought and still buys toys for her grown kids like they are still 10 years old. It's like she is stuck. Around holidays we could not do our own thing or see my family much. His family took priority. When I came out with the abuse from the ex, his sister didn't believe me and the family circled the wagons around the ex. The sister scolded me for coming out with the truth about her brother. Image is important to them all. Imo they are jealous and envious I escaped their backwards messed up family cult
Good point
Lara O'neal very true! Much love and strength to all scapegoats!!! We are some tough people!
@@LadyBoBannon Wow. I had a situation where inlaw mother and siblings had a Xmas gift polyana that excluded spouses. I spoke up and it was made to look like I was selfish and being a bitch and controlling. Im like spouses are always to b included. My husband is included and acts helpless. Im fed up. No one ever visits us we must go to them. Not anymore so now im super bitch. My mind is on the future. They will not change. Sad im just seeing this after 20 yrs. #help
My older brother was made the scape goat in our dysfunctional childhood. He walked away as soon as his legs could take him. Immediately after he was gone, the goat horns were fitted onto me. It's taken decades to recognized the pattern, and I still fall prey to their crap, but I see it more clearly. For me, it's progress, not perfection.
I was at an AA meeting one time when someone said, “keep coming back here where you’re treated like family.”
Someone else cross talked and said, “No, you don’t want to be treated like family, that’s why most of us are here.”
I agreed.
So true
☺️😏
😂 yeah! You don't want to be treated like family if it's going to be like the family you were treated like before, where you were expected to conform and kiss the Ring of the narcissist in the family, who held you to a higher standard but did not live up to it themselves. Selfishly gave you no voice. I heard something the other day which was that Christ never put anyone to the sword. He didn't judge, but he loved everyone and told us to love everyone. This is the kind of love that makes other people healthy, and it makes you healthy to Love in This Way. My phone is capitalizing letters for me as I used talk to text feature. I deeply appreciate her videos of inner integration. I do believe we have to go no contact for a while until we can see straight and then when we come back with old family members we can stop them in their tracks with gentleness of course, but tell them, "whoa! I don't subscribe to that way of thinking anymore. I have my own mind." And then make it a while before you contact or spend any time with them again. Also during the holidays, make sure that you set up some kind of way out or some kind of reason why you don't want to be there that long or cannot be there that long. This is to protect your sanity and your boundaries, which they will have no regard for. A person can only go gray rock for so long before they get sucked back into a toxic dynamic. Better to spend more time away than with others that are toxic
😆😆😆
The way a family should be, wouldn't that be nice. Yes there are good families. I just got a horrible dealing of cards. No one should deal with this. I agree though! Thanks for sharing.
A high five to scapegoats and truth seekers of the family.Survivor and proud of it!
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I feel the same way
Thanks bro ! 😊
❤🎉❤👏👏 Amen! I salute 🫡 you!
Ditto!!! 😊😊❤❤
Mine would say “Family is Forever”. Oh no it is not, I left.
Wanda CUSTANCE LoL 🏃🏼♀️
"I'm not your friend, I'm your family. I don't have to treat you the way your friends do."
Good for you. You make your own family
I recognize those words. “I am family and so are you so you should......(bla bla) act like this”
Go girl, me too!
I was the golden child who became the black sheep. I set boundaries and they disregarded. I went completely no contact 10 years ago. Best thing I've ever done.
Hello Jennifer, I recently went no contact from alllll of my family and instantly felt the weight released🤍 and am a bit nervous on my next step, do you have any tips of what has helped you?
@@koscarlynn Hello if you don’t mind me adding my opinion, focusing on healing mind body spirit in a holistic approach. Investing time and energy back to once self, Invest your money and time on learning subjects you’re interested in. Also look out for the future you because no one else will🥲careful who you choose to spend your time with, good luck 💚
you give me hope that the golden child in my situation may find a way to escape!
@@koscarlynn reparenting your inner child ..
I just went no contact. Sounds like it’s worth it?
Exactly what I’ve experienced. Don’t ever point out a family member doing something wrong to you! They will all gang up and turn on you
Yes this has been my experience.
Yup, been there
yep
My mistake, many times, has been to talk.
I’m no-contact with my entire family of origin. Best and hard3st decision of my life. My life now is unrecognisable , in a good way!
Maria Lua,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🥀,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
Same here and after one year the joy is way more than the negative effects.
Hold strong and keep ascending.
Btw this change opened tha channel to bring a healthy partner in my life
Congrats!
Same here! Whole family ! I pray you heal ❤️💯❤️
💯💯💯
It's funny how your narcissistic parent has perfect self control in public, but once alone he returns to his old, abusive habits.
Just goes to show they are perfectly capable, but ultimately too selfish to make it their regular state outside the public eye.
When they don't appear to have self control, its really that they are trying to control you.
o0Avalon0o and mother 😂
@o0Avalon0o, True. When I was in my teens my mother told me I was a, "street angle and house brat." She was describing herself, not me. Relatives we visited talk about how sweet she was. Not once she got home.
My step father's dog and pony show around new people is funny. Then if they hang around enough they see the real deal and run for the hills.
Him: Don't come back here anymore!
Me: I won't.
And I lived happily ever after.
He told me on chat "get out of here" ....
Hahahahaha
Wow this sounds so familiar it’s unbelievable!
He told me I am a crazy psycho
I told him he was right and it would be safe for him to get far away from me
@Aise StarShine Me too, ten years ago. Never looked back. Best thing I ever did!
The mantra of my parents was: "No one loves you like your family." I was relieved to find out that they were right!
My narcissistic ex also said, " No one will ever love you like I do". I said, " I hope not".
@@mysticrose3543 Guess what? He's probably right! Isn't that amazing? I know I was soooo happy to learn that love doesn't mean people get to hurt you and you just have to accept it.
this made me laugh out loud, so true :D
When I discovered what being treated lovingly by friends was like, I was blown away.
My mom! It's a very manipulative thing to say as it evokes insecurity that without them you'd not survive! In really we survived spite them
Everyone loved my mother and thought that she was great and funny. She terrorized my sister and I behind closed doors, while simultaneously favoring my sister over me. I thought I was insane because I was the only that saw what was going on...
Kids at school thought my mom was cool, they'd call her Rosanne (she kinda looked like her) because she was "funny" when she made fun of me. She did yard duty weekly so they got to know her pretty well and her trying to be the cool mom by putting me down made the bullying at school even worse. my mom could be sweet and generous but to other people.
No. It sounds like she is a covert narcissist. That is what they do. Do what you have to do in order to protect your joy, peace, and sanity in Jesus name.
Yep we got the belt
same
That’s very sad. That happened to our family except my sister was the one being abused and I was favored. I didn’t realize until recently. I moved on and buried it and never dealt with it. I went through a tough time that forced all those feelings out and I started to realize what rally happened. Terrible. The thing is I feel terrible, and at fault for it 😞
When the enablers are members of your family, that's almost worse than the abuse
Absolutely agree, the invalidation and erasure of the abuse is almost worse than the abuse itself
Agree💯
The enablers in my family could not wait to do the pile on being the cowards they were. I've lived 2300 miles away for decades... Yet here comes the orchestrated attack out of faux concern
💯💯
Absolutely. When you marry into this type of narcissistic/ cult family and the main narcs are your sister in laws and the flying monkeys/ enablers are your husband and kids it’s devastating. It’s all about their family unit.
Anyone who discovered their game will be ground down and punished.
Narcissists view themselves as the victims
Very often they do! I did a video on the victim narcissist too.
Linda Hollander it’s so true. Their distorted and disturbed heads believe ‘how dare you!’ You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. If you allow them to control you, you’ll lose yourself piece by piece and if you have your own identity they will also want to crush you and cry the victim simply for you wanting to be another human being deserving of respect and value. Either way, they will make sure to get their narc supply at your expense.
@@tracy8591 5
Thank you tracy, i feel bettet now, for quite some time i felt guilt and blamed myself, i see its a common thing that happens to orhers not just me
Linda Hollander So True!
Yes, they do and no amount of explanation except for one in which I wanted to finish high school but she had plans for me to marry when I had yet not finished high school. I was the "golden goose" in my family. I attracted people that would shower me with gifts and my mother would take them away or sell them to get money out of them. I tried to help her understand she could get a better job if she learned the English language but made excuses and I knew then at 11 years old my life will be full of problems due to a parent not facing responsibilities for her actions as I have already seen too much of that already. It hurts to think parents can be so cruel and unjust. What I learned was to be the opposite a loving, patient and compassionate parent to my two children. Both have turned out right. The unfortunate incident of my marriage is that I married a narcissist. I felt a strange feeling when my future husband and mother met - as if they knew each other. I didn't give it much thought. Since I had no knowledge of narcissist and what they were. I'm sorry I didn't learn this earlier.
They definitely don't care about the pain they cause on you.
God is Good brother
@@JacksTestimony you may be right.
💯💯❤️❤️
They enjoy the high of Self-righteousness instead 😈
58 years old and completely free!! Amen! Free of family free of men free of friendships that consumed and sucked the life out of me!!
Amy Cyr 👍
Going on 5 years for me. I’m 64.
That's awesome. Congratulations!
Beautiful!
Protecting the IMAGE of the family. SPOT ON.
yes that's my mother who is the leader of the group
This is so true. I cut off contact with my parents in April because I was not going to tolerate being labelled paranoid any more. They defended their right to label me paranoid, they got angry with me that I didn't see this 'right'. I stopped contacting them. They aren't contacting me because they are so angry with me. I live near them unfortunately and my front garden was like a jungle. I wouldn't have blamed the neighbours for thinking it looked like a crack house. My dad who will not listen to me, who defends his absolute right to have called a CHILD paranoid, he came over and cut my grass. The back garden, accessible by side alley, he left that :D :D
My mother would get angry with my grandmother, her mother-in-law, when my grandmother would call the police on my father in his youth. He was violent our entire childhood and my mother did nothing (she was violent too and so was my grandmother--disordered people flock together), at least not seeking real law enforcement when it was needed because it was shameful later (she always took him back, they're still together to this day). One day he pulled a gun on my brother when my brother was a teenager and struck my father when he was trying to smash stuff in my brother's room. Somehow my grandmother found out and called the police when the incident was still happening. To this day, everyone is the most bothered by my grandmother calling the police because it was embarrassing rather than being bothered that my father demonstrated the kind of behavior that would pull a gun on a loved one in the first place. It's like they're all from another planet. My father is a psychopath, my mother is a covert narcissist. I was doomed.
Its all about keeping up the false image.
Oh I know right!!!
I was the daughter-in-law of a narcissistic family and I’m in awe at how accurate this is. My ex-husband was incredibly co-dependent and was and enabler of the mental abuse I got from them. At the end, he chose them over me and his daughter. My daughter and I have left and are starting over and I’m starting the healing process. All praise is due to God for giving me the strength to leave...many don’t and succumb to the abuse.
Husna S. Going thru something similar with my in laws and listening to this makes my stomach turn.
Been there. Big hug and hat down to you getting out with your child..very brave. You already know but youre so much better off. 🌹❤️
You did well, those are hard circumstances ❤️u have to “put the oxygen mask on yourself first” ( and your daughter 👍🏼🐯I wish everything going really well for you ❤️
ASA, Husna. Congrats on leaving; the effort to do so when surrounded by folks reinforcing the behavior is devastating. I wish you consistent, healthy, loving support and solidarity. May your courage be continually rewarded. I'm the daughter of two narcissistic parents and in my case, as a firstborn and child of immigrants, the level of emotional and psychological abuse has been so damaging. I'm trying to get healthy after feeling like I've wasted my whole life trying to please them yet remaining the scapegoat. May God help us all.
Husna S. I am dealing with a similar situation. If you need someone to talk to I would love to connect. Send an email to stacybenton2011@gmail.com
I cannot begin to tell you how
bad it hurts. They don't care.
This is EXACTLY what nobody will understand unless they have gone through it. It is debilitating.
I am crying because I have never heard it put into words.
Thank you for the validation.
I am completely alone in this.
Thank you for understanding.
I understand you 100% and I too am alone in this!!! It is very very hard. I lean on God being the only One that I feel fully that I can...especially in those desperate moments when NO ONE understands!!! It is very hurtful. I watched one video last night that the guy said we have to realize we do not need their validation to live our lives. That was an eye opener. I knew how I was feeling but that put it into words for me that I truly needed.
@@chanb7168
Thank you for your heartfelt reply. I too, ask God for the strength to get me through.
Thank you again, Chan B.
💞🙏🤲
@@gibbyswife9218 You're very welcome!!!
@@chanb7168
💞
we are all alone together in this
I am the first person to ever wake up from my family’s toxic cultic behaviour 😩😩!! I’m glad but it is also quite lonely! None of my cousins or sisters see it!
Hey Cuz! I’m here for you! Blessings from Tennessee!
Oh well you have to live for you in the mighty name of Jesus. Sometimes the Lord will choose us to break generational curses, and it can be lonely but we have to do His will in Jesus name.
Feel ya. Same. God bless you!
Yes very lonely
Do not expect alliances. The first one to appear will be seeking info to report back.. be careful.. be patient.. be happy and free.
Nice one..just had to call out one of my disgusting family members on this. Digging for info acting like they care. Sick.
Lana Moore yes they almost always are just digging for information to sacrifice to the narcissist "god "
What the heck is going on?
Wow I feel this comment deeply
Best advice ever given. Embrace the loneliness.
The gossip:
"Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about events, and small minds talk about people."
(Eleanor Roosevelt)
Not entirely true... People are complex are therfore difficult to understand
But yeah if you're talking about the gossip then yeah I agree
Excellent quote 😊😊
my family was always so petty
Excellent quote 👌💯
Awesome!
"This is the fight of your life..." You got that right.
It is.
Absolutely!
Definitely
I spoke out against the sexual abuse I experienced as a child that landed me in the hospital and took me out of school for half the year. When my friend revealed the abuse on my sister's Facebook post, mother was notified. She told me I was a disgrace to the family and that what my friend did was taken as I don't want to be a part of the family. I responded to her and blocked her forever. The molester isn't the disgrace...the victim who spoke out is the disgrace. 😒
It’s so messed up how they will defend the pedophile and the family image over everything else. I talked about this in a video I did called Divorcing The Original Narcissist.
Typical, and I'm sorry. I would also question how much of a "friend" someone is who discloses your private business on Facebook. Horrific boundary violation and betrayal of trust. Survivors of narcs also have a lot of trouble choosing real friends.
"Start unsubscribing from the narcissists reality" - love that; only someone who has experience with this would understand what that means.
I fully understand where you are coming from! I left my own family at 16 years old and it took me a long time to break from the patterns which meant it carried on into my relationships. Finally after al these years although it’s tricky having to start your own life it’s better than the toxic energy that we have a choice as people to decide who we allow into our lives and realising our own self worth. It takes a lot of inner child work and self compassion and learning to trust ourselves and love ourselves enough to never settle with anyone who doesn’t merit our time. Feel free to to look me up where you can find interesting and uplifting stuff that I have created with researching to help people and motivate etc... I am “ The Wellbeing Warrior “ on tumblr. And to anyone who may be suffering during lockdown to practice self compassion and self nurturing and the little things that can help you amongst all the chaos! I love this woman so “ relative! “ Blessings to you and all who may read this I know your pain. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼😇🕊💜🧘♀️🧘♀️
yes yes yes. shut it down immediately. i like to just make the narcs in my family that i have to be around feel just ridiculous for the crazy things they say. things kinda like asking for the logic behind the gaslighting & lies. you can especially tell when they change subject, get mad, or struggle to find the words to say (which is usually when they get really mad). i started recording them sometimes when they are yelling lmaoo. i try not to let them know tho. i don’t approve of feeding the flame-each individual situation is different so nobody put yourself in danger pls.🥺💙
For years my narc mom would proudly say "I live in a world of my own". She would not recall any toxic thing she did to me. She said she only remembers the good things (she has done) but remembers any perceived error I have made.
@@l.5832 That’s exactly the games they play! I disowned my family! It wasn’t easy and at times it isn’t around Christmas and so on. But I will say, that my life is easier in other ways and the friends that I have are like my family. As they say; “ you pick your friends but you don’t pick your family.” I joke around saying that I got the “ booby prize!” with my family ha ha!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🕊💜
The narcissistic family dynamic is abusive on so many levels. Growing up for me ( I'm 41, born in 1982), this information was not available via social media platforms. I knew the vibe was off and this video accurately explains what I experienced. I wuz always a truth teller and thus scapegoated 🤷🏽♂️ I'm glad I walked away from the toxic dynamic.
I’m the Black Sheep, because I speak out in my Family 🤭
Greg Roman or the white sheep amongst the black sheep family.
Greg Roman I do too! Welcome to the club
Same here. Its a bit scary at times as you cant always predict the outcomes.
I guess we're a bigger Club than they would want to believe!
Greg Roman good for you!
I’m married into a narcissistic family. It’s crazy. It’s like Aunts and uncles are the flying monkeys. My hubby and I have been no contact for years and it’s been the best years of our marriage!
9:30 "Those people (enabling the the abuse) may or may not be disordered, but they're definitely TOXIC if they're covering up the abuse." Very well said!
That's why I have little tolerance for people who react negatively when I tell them I had to let go almost all of my family. I get the canned response "But they are your family!" even though they have no idea what I've been through. For years, the so-called matriarch of my family influenced almost everyone in a toxic way. She set traps, lied, manipulated and everyone followed her. I finally woke up and and realized the game she played. When I chose to speak up, I became the classic scapegoat. That's fine, I'd rather be the scapegoat than the blind sheep running over the end of the cliff following a mad pied piper. Just because we share some DNA doesn't automatically make them a good fit for my life. Now I choose my family in the form of friends. Thanks Meredith.
We can pick our friends but not our family has been my motto
We can’t be abused anymore
Even though I do not know you I truly am proud of you. It takes a very strong and wise person to first be aware of what is happening, process it and then make the decision to free yourself.
Yes, I agree - you SHOULD be proud of yourself. I think it was George Burns who said 'there's nothing like a close, warm, caring, loving family - preferably on the other side of the world.'
AND - look at Kevin of The Royal We - he moved from California to St Louis Missourri to put distance between him and his wife's narcissistic family.
I hate it when people say "But they're family...". I've been documenting my own vlogs of crap I've been going through as a way to get my truth out.
"Build a new family" is exactly how people wind up in a cult. Running from an abusive family, people wind up joining an abusive faith community that love bombs them at first. It's good to find people. I'm just saying to be very, very careful when building a new family.
Great point!!
Too right !!!
Yes, I almost got into a high control religious group while trying to build a family. Good thing the group had enough goodness to be gracious about my exit. That was wonderful of them, but I had read Steve Hassan, and I knew I had to go.
CaptPostmod I sought out therapy. Both individual and group therapy. Best thing I could have done for myself.
we have to be very very careful in every relationship..even at work, stating clearly loud our boundaries, throwing it there with nonchalance but making sure everyone heard it, cause otherwise so "trained in families" as we have been, outside that environment we can become prays of other narcissistic predators that smell our escape goat nature as vampires on the blood. sadly the Narcissism is so complex that we have also to watch out ourselves cause outside the main relationship in which we played the role of the scapegoats, we can even, OURSELVES THE VICTIMS... WE CAN TURN INTO NARCISSISTS too! ie in job places or into a new family relationship with our half.. so we have really to open up our minds and eyes and watch carefully at others and also at ourselves behaviours.. cause only the awareness of the repetitive patterns can let us broke the course fo this viral thing called NArcissism in our lives
the thing about them categorizing any disagreement as an attack is so spot on
Truth!!! ♥️ It's madness. The triangulation is horrendous. Escape before the toxicity kills you.
It took me years to be able to attract healthy people into my life. I had to heal and to learn to love myself before I was able to do that.
I'm Still trying to learn to seek healthy relationships...
I'm in my mid 50s!
@@Seek_Him right behind ya, am 45 I just realized my codependency sickness within last few months and starting the arduous recovery 😅🙏💪🙃
Bless you
I’m in this place of my recovery now. I attracted so many unhealthy people because of deep rooted self esteem issues.
Can't tell you How much I heard "Honour your father and mother" cited at me by my mother trying to get me to behave and stay complacent in my abuse
No where is it written to honor abusers.
Yep, and if you disobey them, they'll scream at you "you call yourself a Christian?!?" as if being a Christian means absolute blind obedience to them like they're God.
It also says, don’t frustrate your children.
Same with me. Amazing.
Also narcissists are worshipping themselves not God. They are their own God which is against the commandments. Naraccistist are incapable of worshipping God overthemselves. It is idolatry. ...of self.
Absolutely spot on. "One of the most difficult decisions of my life. One of the best decisions of my life. My only regret is that I didn't do it SOONER!"
I've only had my husband, he saw how things went down. I am so thankful for him, he has kept my head above the water. 🙏✌❣️☀️🙏
Be careful have more than one friend
❤
And I bet they hate him for it. God bless you and your wonderful husband. Thank God for our sanity anchors!
I was the scapegoat too, I KNEW it, and I GOT it! So they called me paranoid! But actually I was perceptive, from about the age of 3!!!
Penny Sharland WoW! Your story sounds exactly the same as mine. Paranoid? I can’t remember how many times l heard this. I was constantly bullied by my siblings, also gaslighted. The things they said still haunt me to this day. For some reason l thought it was part and parcel of being children who were trying to survive in a dysfunctional family. This was an ongoing nightmare. I recall these moments all the way back to when l first began school. All 3 eventually married to monsters and once again my nightmare became an ongoing dream. It’s been 6 yrs now and one of my siblings (gold digger & unemployed) has tried to connect with my child. Like WTF...
I went completely no contact. I wish i could remember but i blocked out so much of my child hood i really don’t remember much. I have been able in many ways reconcile and take my experience and use it to be better learn from it and grow as a loving caring person. Still have many issues but one thing I learned to do it discern my feelings from others and how to spot manipulation and manipulative people well.
I understand you and I was too a victim of this myself growing up!! I had to walk away and cut off certain ties with family members for my own peace of mind!!! It was the best thing I ever did!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🌷🌷🌷🌷🙏🏼🙏🏼💜🙏🏼
Yep! #Same! I knew "something" was not right in that hell-hole of a household! #Blessings
It’s great that this subject has over so many years finally being brought to the surface! It was such a “ taboo” subject! Blessings to you dear and have a great weekend 🙏🏼🙏🏼🌷🌷🙏🏼🙏🏼
I grew up as a scapegoat. I understand this dynamic so well.
Yes, now I am a scapegoat.
Me too
This is sooo accurate. My mom acted like a cult leader. Everybody had to obey her and if you didn’t OMG she would make you PAY. She lies and even stole money from our whole family.
I grew up into a group of narcissist cults-my parents are both narcissist and most of my dads siblings have their own groups-it’s a bubble you cannot burst from the inside-it took 20 years of therapy for anxiety/stress. I don’t understand why my different therapist never told me-I would have saved years of therapy
Neither my therapist told me, until I ended up in psych ward because of total paranoia from cptsd (now I know) that the psychologist over there was shocked to hear about my mother and how dysfunctional she was and that was me realising first time in my thirties that my mother is not saint and the best mother but actually is psychopatological.
seems like I learn more on youtube in a shorter amt of time than i ever do in therapy.
Left my entire family at 22. Total no contact. No money or stability. Broke up with gf as well. Was a rocky 2 years afterwards but now solid healthy and have loving sincere new family and money again. Solider on. Life gets considerably better. Brand new universe i am in right now and life is beautiful despite a rough beginning. Great video
new family? explain please....
Awesome!!:)
How did u go homeless...how did u get to the shelter?
You are so "strong" may God Bless You for your successful journey out of this maze of narcissist family cult. I wished I had the nerve when I was at least 18 years old but didn't. So glad you got out early on and are now happy. Take care and be careful - because one can attract those that are a narcissist because I did and married one without realizing it at that time. That was a bad experience.
@@angelacarleton9575
Thankyou kindly. Yes I met many narcissists post family break up. Many, many narcissists. But the past 3 years has been a full on apprenticeship of direct experience in knowing how to handle them. I know what I say now might be hard to believe, but narcissists are incredibly easy to manipulate and deal with. I get a laugh out of them and their sense of self importance. I dont feel threatened around them any more or on guard. I dont seek them out either I avoid them. But when they come round its easy to play with them. Above all listen to your gut feeling. If someone makes me feel repetitivly bad i dont see them any more.
One thing that has brought me some comfort is that it wasn’t personal and that it’s okay to be a loner.
Hey that's a really good point thanks buddy
Agreed
Great point Carlos, it wasn’t personal. I like that.
Me too!
What hes trying to say, i think, is to make solitude a best friend, therefore you're 1 step closer to finding you're true purpose in life. To untwist yourself from the pretzel that society wants you to be.
the mantra that i hate the most: why don't you forgive and forget like everybody else?
6 brothers and a sister. Middle child and scapegoat. The Narcissists were on either side of me in birth order. I left and I’m done.
Fifth child of seven. Baby girl. Artistic, empathetic, super sensitive, a bit psychic. Never fit in.
Wow, I’m the only girl, I got brothers, I’m the 5th child and I was the scapegoat and lost child. As I talk with my older brothers, they also felt like the black sheep of the family. Our family dynamics was bizarre, it started simple and the dysfunction grew and became undercurrent. It seems as if each of us ended up with narcissistic partners. It takes a lot of work to get out from family, I’m in therapy and brainrinsing decades of filth 😑
💯💯🗣‼️‼️
💯💯💯
No contact is the only answer if you want a happy and healthy life. This lady is right on target.
@goduskychris Chris Godusky 'Grey Rock' & 'Observe Don't Absorb', '3 strike rule', 'The Refusal Method' These people start fires... You just need to know which ones to put out. Just think you're Dr. Grant from Jurassic Park & you're facing a T-Rex. He spots you... what do you do to keep from being eaten like the other guy? Or in another case... think that the hulk is running wild. You know you cannot stop the hulk... but you can slow him down. You've got a 'suit' for the occasion, Mr. Stark.
@goduskychris Chris Godusky I know your ordeal all to well. Mine was rep. Payee of me for years w_o any sign of me attaining ownership after the smear campaign of my stepmom & him.
@@reikocool1 not to distract from the guys dilemma, but I fired my parents from being my payee years ago. Isn't it funny how they go from acting like it's a burden to getting resentful that they do not have that control anymore? These people are about control. Actually, control is the wrong word for it. It's all about domination for them. It wasn't that way until I hit my forties and then all sudden my alcoholic mom is trying to demand I go to some rehab for drinking everyday and doing drugs a few times a month. As a friend said to their mom about a similar dilemma, "if it's so good why don't you go?!" CLICK...phone hungup.
The hypocrisy of these monsters knows no bounds. In more ways than just one or two. Completely unbelievable
As to the guy who says they can't move out, if you're from a expensive metropolitan area like I am, move to Phoenix or Austin or something. It's been two decades since I've been there and it's the best choice I ever made in my life.
I moved out with only a seabag of clothes and a few other things. No money saved. But I figured the town out and it all worked out
That was very, very hard for me. Italian (culture matters) enmeshment, so it was very very hard since it meant parting from most of my family. And not married, no children....can seem very, very alone. I focus on my jobs, talents, passions, nature, gardening, teaching zumba, journaling, reading, etc. But wow....just, wow. Hard stuff.
Narc just moved in my appt complex , we also have kids together
Left my narcissistic family 29 years ago. Best move I ever made!
As someone with the personal experience of a narcissistic family, it's obvious to me that you really know your stuff. Thank you for providing valid directions. 😌
I went no contact with my mom, step dad, and sister after years of anxiety around them. I don’t want to explain more but want to tell you it is possible to go no contact. I have been seeing a therapist to go through this time in my life. I am also engaged to a wonderful human being who has gone with me to a therapy session and pretty much explained to us that we are like creating an entirely new family. I am ending the generational abuse that has run in my family. I’m grateful to have found this video! Thank you!
She speaks so much truth. Once you find out, run and never look back. You don’t own them an explanation.
Yup even though they’ll make you believe that you do. But you DO NOT.
Leave these people in the dust.
As long as they’re carrying out evil you don’t have to let them use your good against you.
Go in peace.
Right.
They accuse me of being the weakest link in the family anyway...
They usually know why, they are just baiting you.
Yeah I almost married into a group like that it's so unsettling because they think it's normal and you are odd for not wanting to be a part of it. All enable one another smh.
This describes my biological family perfectly. I was the scapegoat. Ran away 14 years ago and never looked back.
Smart
I got out. Mines was so bad my brain actually took over and basically made me leave, like a survival mechanism. Good luck to those of you doing it now. Best thing that ever happened to me.
They get you to share and then use the info against you---so true. The family protects the image of the family. I tried to discipline my daughter who broke my ribs, and my sisters, mother, daughter and father all took her part over me. I was punished for even trying to talk about the issue. They gaslighted the entire issue and pretended it did not happen. "Oh, no, that didn't happen in OUR FAMILY! YOU are the CRAZY ONE! NOT US!"
Julie Basco,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
@@christianpulisic7784 Thank you.
@@christianpulisic7784 Where do you live? My family name was Baskovec before we came to America.
@@shahadah1451 You are welcome dearest 🌹🌷🌷.I am Christian pulisic from the States.
@@shahadah1451 You?
Ive already left my narcissistic "family" i dont trust anyone of those psychos.
Yup them snakes will bite you
Yep. Vindictive spirits will gossip about you and then smile to your face acting as if they "love" you and care for you deeply. Yet, if they cared for you, then why constantly trash your name all over town trying to "punish" you for having self respect and rejecting their arrogant behavior towards you.
I left as well. Out of 5 siblings only the golden child is left and she keeps her distance from my parents as well and remains low contact. However to them, she can do no wrong. They would invite her out for mother’s or Father’s Day and exclude everyone else. They would use the excuse that she just happened to show up at their house. My narc father one year took everyone to dinner. When the bill came,, he told the server he was paying for everyone except myself, my boyfriend and my daughter but paid for my sister and her partner. He did that on purpose to humiliate me. The anger is coming out now which is a good thing. I’m done with these jackwagons for parents.
@@homedecorescents1825 Oh, God! So glad you left that situation!!!
I just went no contact today. Finally! A huge weight has been lifted. This was my Christmas gift to myself. Wish me luck with my recovery.
Just remember no contact is something that most likely has to be maintained as gaslighting and "hovering" pops up even decades later. Most likely you're contacted ad your abusers come upon needs for which they need a slave, unpaid slave as a caregiver , ect. Research and read others long-term experiences. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.
Good luck - stay strong and don't respond when they start trying to pull you back into their web. Eventually, they'll give up. It's been two years this year for me, and I saw there was a missed call from my narcissistic parent's number on my birthday. I blocked it. I hope he finds someone else to scapegoat, because I've had enough. As long as you continue to maintain n.c. you'll continue to feel better and better.
Good Luck. You can do this.
update?
💪👍
I left when I was 17 and I’m now 62. I still have difficulty segregating my false reality childhood from my true realty as an adulthood they are both my true reality. Both now being my true reality which is the fiber I am made of. I thank God I left when at 17. I found a lovely family of a good friend that treated me like their own. I owe them my life. My only regret is that I let my parents back in my life after my child was born. We would have both been better of without them. Go find your joy and leave these people behind. Final word beware of putting yourself back in the same situation with best friends and love interests 🌷
I am crying right now because they burned me again!!! I am so grateful I found this channel!!!! THANK YOU! All of you! I'm not alone 😢
This was my first thanksgiving without my narc family, and it was a wonderful relaxing, beautiful day 🤗❤️
Yay!! I’m glad you had a wonderful holiday without them.
tx-sweet-p JG mine too! It was great!
Yes, I did the same thing. It was sooo peaceful. I'm doing the same thing for Christmas, okay.
tx-sweet-p JG Good got you. Yes we have peace after getting away from them. I don’t let anyone in my life that resembles my family either. I let a neighbor in as a friend but within Less than 6 mos I had to tell her to stay away.
Good FOR you (correction) not got.
I was feeling guilty about not contacting my abusers. I happy to know that I must protect myself and my family from them. 💗💜💕💖
Yes so important! I don’t want my husband to have to deal with my crazy narc fam and I definitely don’t want my future children to either.
Yes I would talk to my mom for hours on the phone. Did I want to be on the phone ?? No but didn’t know how to get off the line. Then I would go weeks without answering. When I did finally pick up, I lied. Oh you know I was really busy and didn’t feel well..... or whatever. Then she would call next day and I didn’t answer. She would call all day long and leave threatening messages. It was so sad. So one day I didn’t answer and it’s going on four years. But believe me she still tries.
@@arnettabosby5100 I just block them from calling me
@@Butterflyyyy9 yeah I changed my number and I don’t know how she got it but they are all blocked again. It’s been four years.
Yessss!!! So truth!
Your video is painfully spot on. I have been scapegoated by my family my whole life.
I was the child that asked why instead of blindly following along.
I recently got diagnosed with complex PTSD and am still on my healing journey.
I moved out when I was 22 and now that I´m 25 I have successfully cut both my parents out of my life.
With my father (the narc) it was quite easy as I never felt connected to him anyways, but with my also abusive
mother it was a bit harder, as I saw her as another one of his victims for the longest time.
But as you said I can´t trust her with anything as it will probably get through to my father in the end.
My younger brother is going to move out from home in one month and lately he has shown signs that he is finally
waking up and it gives me so much relief, as he was such an enabler for the longest time.
I think I can now safely say that no new narcissist is going to arise from our family and the disorder will die with my parents.
Thank you for the great content
When I "woke up" the anxiety right before was so bad I felt like I was going to die but as I pushed through that and the fog lifted I wish I could've done it sooner. One day out of my family "cult" was happier than all the time in it.
I married into this family. They had me fooled for years. They all covered up for each other. Definitely no boundaries!
I know the feeling.
Same here! These bastards extreme..
I hope my son gets out soon before things get worse especially the children.....
Me too, I disappeared like hudini too lol
@@bernardoromero1825 Yup
Spent Thanksgiving all by myself and it was fine by me. Let them have all the ridiculousness at family functions. I want peace
Amen!
I spend my birthday and Christmas alone I can't stand the fakeness and the minipulation
Calm not chaos. Alone is different from lonely.
Me too! It was fantastic!!!
Thanks for not giving them the gift of your time. They don't deserve it!
This is so spot on. You've described my entire life perfectly even down to them covering up abuse as a way to protect their image and me getting immediately scapegoated for it
Understanding your own role in the family dynamic, whether you are a scapegoat or a golden child or a drama child will help.🙏
Drama child??
It's hard to wrap your head around how insidious they really are, it's hard to imagine.
true and others who didn't experience what you did even though in the same family will never understand or believe you.
@C J there is a effect meditation where you view your parents as little children, you see what they went through, and you hold them and forgive them. They were most likely abused as well and have all done "the best they can" with their broken spirit.
It helped me. I hope it helps you.
It was difficult to understand or even imagine in the beginning. Now, F@ck No.
It makes you fight yourself as well as them trying to stay in the truth. It's hard to imagine how this seems to be enjoyed by the family.
@@patriciaclark1492 I know, that's one of the most painful experiences for me. I am an honest person. I have no need to lie & even if I did, I would not.
This is right on time for me. I've set boundaries for my family. Skipped a 100th birthday party. Did Thanksgiving on my own. Funny thing is no one called or reached out to see if I was really okay. Speaks to the family dynamic of "group think." I'm okay with that. They can keep that toxicity. ✋🏾
Great job opting out!
You go Girl! 🙌🏼👍🏼❤️
@@InnerIntegration can u help me im realy strugling with this im all for no contact with narcasist but what happens when that person dies? I never lost full contact+was relieved as when they pased as i would of strugled so luch more with soo much regret i was thankful for those few good times ..please share ur thoughts Meridith
Karin,amen to that sister!.You sound awesome.You called it "group think".Ill remember that.Thats new for me.It speaks volumes how they ain't gonna do nothing because it's simply the right thing to do.No,they wont lift a finger unless they think the snake pit approves.And that shows us who's who.A moral compass of integrity will reach out in sincerity and wont care who is hair lipped.But the spineless coward enablers tell on themselves by hiding under in the bed in their silence.
daisys time thank you for your encouragement. Yes, I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Hope you did too!
I can totally relate to this video. I am a victim of a Narcissist’s Family Cult too. No contact for 3 years now. Life may be difficult because I’m starting all over from rock bottom but I am no longer tied up and suffocated... I could breathe freely now. My only regret is I wasted so much time, money and efforts to these narcissist family members.
Thank you for this video that truly validates my feelings. Found my adoptive sister 💙 I hope to find my adoptive parents soon ❤️
Literally every single part of this video describes one or multiple people of my entire family..
This is my family - I was smeared to everyone so I’m alone now - but better off.
Me too
Hope you have found healthier people in your life👍
@@GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023 Stay strong. I am about to retire and have been abused most of my life. No contact has been tough. I feel better. I haven't recovered fully but I am getting there. I am basically disowned at this point but my daughter's love me. GOD BLESS.
You're NOT alone! You have US and we have your back. xo
Now you get to CREATE the family of your dreams!!!! (Friends, healthy relatives, associates, pets...)
If you get out don't ever go back.
Been away for about 7 years now but still have like flash backs to the evil abuse.
why n how do i love n care for certain ill insane ppl who seem to not love nor care for me....?! i don't want to. i need not to. i kicked em all out, except for certain blood relatives.... even tried to kick them out too, out of utter way too long overdue necessity.... yet it seems at least 2 ish slithered back in somehow just to continue chronically harming using abusing neglecting manipulating perpetually perpetrating etc etc.... UGH UGH .!!. ****
Yes come what may whatever the price never ever go back
I’m trying to get me and my son out now. I’m tired
I was so grateful for you bringing up the religious narcissist because my. parents have been using this as a cattle prod all my life.
truth and facts
I get this, I went no contact with the narc hypo-christians 23 years ago. Narc's don't get to go to the pearly gates, they just keep getting recycled back to the planet.
I can't believe how accurate this is... I'm so shocked...they actually would say all family's behave like this, its normal.
I don't know any healthy family
No contact with my mother and siblings was the most important thing I’ve ever done. It was the only way to healing ❤️
Amen!
Me too! I wish things were different, but I’m happier being away from those demons. I was the scapegoat for all their bad decisions in life.
For me, the sibling abuse was the most hurtful betrayal. When my mom got Alzheimers, I thought I could finally have the sisters I always wanted, the ones that popped out over the years with the love bombing, boy was I wrong. All the claws came out to see who would take mom's Narc throne. I got away. Don't be gullible like me and fall for this trap.
I was the scapegoat and truth teller in my narcissistic abusive family. Your description of the traits of a narcissistic family are painfully true. I went no contact over a year ago and trying to recover from a lifetime of abuse. They destroyed my life and it took me a lifetime to get out. I wanted to protect my kids from them. They took my life but I didn’t want them to take theirs.
@Juliette York
Same here...up till 55. I'm finding EMDR
EXTREMELY helpful...
Like...I'm starting to feel
They are crazy and so cruel.
Hopefully as it works more & more I will just see them as pure crazy alone & pitiful for believing total Bullshit....like spoonfed babies with no minds of their own.
I didn't understand what was going on till it was too late. They got my son & he overdosed in October 2016! But now, I'm writing a book about it, & hopefully will honor my son's memory by helping others learn about this!
Best wishes friend. Peace and love to you
Amber Dawn, I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. I am just wondering if they were the cause of your son’s passing. Prayers and condolences for you. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
62 years old and broke away, such a fantastic feeling almost Undescribable
gosh, you nailed it: "this is the fight of/for your life." thanks for this video ❤
I walked away from my covert mother and golden child brother six years ago. It was hard but the best thing I ever did. I hear last week my once beautiful younger brother went to jail?? All along I was the 'bad' one. I left because.... he had turned which open my eyes. There is no satisfaction in hearing that news and no doubt it will still be my fault.
On a side note. I'm happy, lovely with a whole new group of people that can see that.
My golden child sister spent time in jail too for not paying child support. She had her kids taken away from her. She slept with my husband. I was the "parasite," accird8ng to my mother, yet I never took a dime from my parents after I graduated from H. S. I believe the scapegoats do much better than the golden child in the long run.
My mother was a covert narcissist. I spent my entire childhood listening to her gossip on the phone about her children to her "friends". As we got older, she would call each of us to "see how we were doing" only to call the next sibling to tell them all about you. ... So the scenario would be ... Your mother calls you with the false pretense that she cared about YOU but the conversation revolved around another family member. .... This left you feeling abandoned by your mother and resentful to your other family members. I didn't realize this until I was speaking with a cousin, who had just had a baby, and my aunt (my mother's sister) was being attentive to her. I remarked that my mother would never show me support or encouragement. Her response was ... Are you kidding? She never shuts up about you!
My mother's tag line ... I just wish all my children would love each other and get along. LOL
It is amazing. My mother did and said the same thing. I could not figure out how I was feeling I never got any support or encouragement. I thought it was something wrong with me. Now I know why I pulled away from my mother. It is important that I know that I did that and for me to know why.
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer I am sorry you went through it too. To me, I felt extremely embarrassed and hurt. As a result my dissociation "skills" were established before I could tie my own shoes. There are HUGE gaps of my life that I cannot remember.
It is amazing how some parents use innocent children for their own satisfaction. They are the sick and twisted ones.
Take Care -- You are not alone 💜
M Daze how similar our mothers are!
@@mdaze9753 Thank you so much. I feel less abandoned and I realize more that good people and healing experiences provide the antidote to the poison that we are carrying around in our hearts. When we know what we are looking for and we know we deserve that, then we can have those wonderful things happen. Embarrassed is what I have been for so long. And hurt to my core!
Holy shit you just DEFINED my mother.
I knew from a tender age that there was something really wrong with my family. I just knew it. I even had dreams about my mother being a villian.
i knew somn was wrong too.... from a young age....
I knew my mother was not right in the head from a very young age as well. I never felt real love from her. I would say "I wish i was never born".
I figured out my family wasn't right at an early age, to the world your parents seem wonderful, but when no one is around they change, I was always apologizing for everything, even if it wasn't my fault, so then as you grow up you begin to see the truth, it's unreal when you confide into someone and everyone else thinks different, I didn't know a name for it till I started researching things, and I read a lot of articles on psychology. Wow was my family so disfun
I was terrified of my stepfather. I saw in his eyes my death.....at 4 years old. He was a perfect match for my mother. I focused on him and never noticed that she was the true threat. He's dead now, she's hanging on like a lamprey. I keep a covert internet eye on them. Other than that, absolutely no further contact. Life can be good.
Lesego Madisa me too but my Godly-Dad
I am not kidding that every single thing you said was exactly my childhood. My mind is blown right now. If this was also your childhood my heart is with you, we made it through!!
I went no contact with my abusive narcissistic family just last night. For 15 years i didn't know what this was. I knew they made me feel ill, never good about myself, but didn't know this existed. Thank you for what you've helped me realize, for giving me the strength and terminology to identify this for what it is. It's my in-laws, and i have children with my husband. I'm terrified bc I've been doing reading about the fallout from going no contact. I have no idea what the days ahead hold (ok, i do have an idea, but hope that maybe it won't happen in this case), but if my gut feeling is right, this is going to be hellacious. None The less, i know it was the right decision mostly for the sake of my 5 and 6 year old daughters who have witnessed their mother (me) being targeted, screamed at, insulted, and gaslighted 4x in the 6 hangouts we've allowed the last few months. (Then the gifts and loving words and "but we're family" always quickly follow.)
Be your own best friend so that your daughters will witness what is not acceptable behavior & how to have the confidence & courage to take a stand in ur own defence. It definitely will b difficult at first, especially because ppl like them have "brass balls" & do not feel bad for their behavior however once u get through with time & determination u will b amazed at the beauty of peace & freedom once u get it back or feel for the 1st time! Wishing u the very best on your journey! 😊
Honestly one thing people should take away from this is going no contact is literally one of the most empowering decisions you could make. Going no contact with my narcissistic mother and my sister (flying monkey very very toxic) was the BEST choice I’ve ever made and I can’t stress how much emotional growth awaits you when you get out of that toxic environment. Great video love your advise 💕
Me, too. thank you for the validation
Same here. NC for one year... Found my pride and sanity!
Totally!
Porsha Cook did this a week ago
Best decision I’ve ever made was going no contact. It’s absolutely insane how a family will have a cult mentality and you’re somehow the problem when you literally just live your own life yet others can be abusive & dysfunctional and they’re somehow doted over. I moved overseas and I’m finally feeling peace. Let them have their topic of gossip. It’s none of my business. I’ll be building myself up they can go drink and enable each other and blame me because the golden child died from drug abuse. Cause somehow that was my fault.
Please go no contact and know you’re not the problem.
Amby I am happy to hear im not the only one in this world to feel like I have to move overseas in order to survive mentally! My mother is a narcissist and ever since I was a child and can remember things, she tried to turn my siblings against me; she has always played the victim for things wrong in her life: she’s now 76 years old; and to this day, she can sit among us and say GOD HAS FORGIVEN HER SINS FROM EAST TO WEST; and she’s saved thru the GRACE OF GOD; yet when I hear these words I CRINGE, because how can one still have an evil vindictive heart; turning her on children against one another and hanging her purse strings over their heads? I know my siblings see her behavior but are in too much fear to speak up for themselves!
Same I moved country. My golden child sister saw an instagram post via a fake account and she told my parents my exact location when i went to enroll in the other country's but university without my parenys knowing I don't care I was the one to gaslight them this time and tell them another story😂😂
I moved from U.S. to England when I was 23, and lived there for 4 years. I didn't move there to get away from them, but It was such a HUGE relief to not have to be around them, and to be away from their toxicity! That was the beginning of the end for my relationship with them. I freed myself, and went permanent no contact with all of them, after moving back to U.S and living here around them again for 10 years. That was 17 years ago. Never once have I missed any of them, or questioned my decision, not even for a second!
@@Cosmicoo82 your mother is perhaps misunderstanding...repentance is what God releases in us when we realise the awfulness of our own behaviour..a deep transformative sorrow, a going to Him for healing of the core pain that causes us to mistreat others..and once healed a true desire and ability to stop abusing others..that's repentance..a turning away from being an abuser. It is a profound awakening. She needs healing of her core wounds...that's the start
“We do everything as a family” “you’re not welcome in this family” lol
LOL!!! Or get no invite or one at the last minute so you intentionally feel left out. Like "yea sure I can be ready in 10 minutes to walk out the door" when it takes at the very least 45 minutes to shower and get dressed. By that time the food is gone at the gathering and it's about to end. Haha! It is too ridiculous and I won't do it anymore after years of kissing their rears.
My family's mantra: "You only hurt the ones you love."
Oh boy. My ex husband literally told me that when I was in tears about his terrible treatment. Thank God I got away from that crazy family.
Never allow yourself to rely on them for anything ever....It's like selling your soul to the devil and never be transparent with them because they will surely use it against you and tell everyone. Heal yourself and create your own happy healthy family/support system. I am a recovering daughter of a very evil narcissistic mother. She is every evil witch storybook character combined into one. lol
These people are demons. Evil psychopathic behaviors.
That’s the conclusion I’ve come to...
i agree so much there should be a law to punish those criminals
I eventually arrived at this too. They are possessed quite literally. An empty shell
@@sailingaeolus Me too !
and there are A Lot of them
It really is like a cult. I now see it spreading to the other side of my family. My cousins children are now not well.
Grew up in an extended family with my grandfather as the patriarch. 40 years old but this video is giving me confirmation today that I did grow up somewhat in a family cult. Thank goodness he wasn't so rich and education was !mandatory. He didn't really care for girls especially going to school I now realise. It wld explain the odd, angry looks I got from him sometimes when I was leaving for school. To make matters worse, I was good at school and he hated me more for proving him wrong that I wasn't dumb. But geez he seriously attacked me as a kid and every single other family member joined in and agreed with him that I was dumb. He's dead but all his sons are misogynist idiots and daughters all abused submissive wives.
Apparently my mother in law is a text book, classical narcissist. She doesn't like me deep down, cause I have a serious allergic reaction to bullshit. Yeah.... total cult leader.
Mine too! She’s hated me since day one because he’s her surrogate husband. I’m getting out through divorce. She has my husband enmeshed in her sick, emotional incest relationship and has basically destroyed our marriage through all of her narc abuse. Because of the enmeshment he must always put her first, he’s unable to give me romantic love like a man should ...I swear that he feels some kind of guilt when he tries, and he has a sick sex addiction because of it all! My husband fully believes their relationship is healthy and wonderful! He’s giving up his wife, kids, and will pretty much be broke in order to move her nasty ass here and wait on her hand and foot until she finally drops dead! It’s all so sad but at least his scapegoat sister is finally no contact and is healing and recovering and I helped save her daughter who was being molded into the golden grandchild.
Fila Kri I’ve refused to bow down too and boy o boy have I been “burned at the stake” for noncompliance! Lol. No BS for this strong woman! ;)
maja boban The back of the t-shirt should also say...”I REFUSE to bow down!” Lol
'I'm your MOTHER!' her favorite line to disarm me for years. We lived under constant terror and oppression. Until I left at 26 because it has gotten worse. I lived with the devil.
My father would say the same.
Yes yes yes - you had the same mother as me!!! I left home at 17 but she still had power over me - until I went no contact at 54 years old!!! Enough. I will not be treated like that. Of course I married someone just like my mother! After 14 years divorced. And then fell in love with what I thought was my soul mate!!! Wrong. Healing and recovering now
Lesego Madisa WOW. “I’m your Mother!” was my mother’s favorite line, even when I was in my 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s...
Thats exactly what my mom said to me all the time.
My mother... she is in her 70s and tells me at 52 that I still need to do what she says and expects certain behavior from her children. “I am your Mother.” To this day, I’m not ‘allowed’ to have an opinion/boundaries. Ugh
I've been in therapy for 20 plus years and this is the best advice I have ever received. Thank You!
I wrote a letter to my parents telling them how unhappy they sometimes made me from child to adult. I showed the letter to a counsellor. I asked her if I was being silly or if I was justified in feeling upset. Her reply was "of course this is appalling" I posted the letter and got a reply from my parents telling me how devastated they are and how selfpittying I am and how I misconstrued situations I referred to, ie they never happened. I have not spoken to them in months and I feel I am in a healing place now, I feel relief and contentment.
"FORGIVENESS"? --- im 67yo scapegoat. Forgiving these NARC monsters is just another toxic layer of abuse. THEY ONLY LIVE IN A FANTASY. "IT NEVER HAPPENED": They are 100% innocent and it never happened to you.CORRECT? ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM.
People like you making films like this ARE my validation. My only validation. Thankyou
Reuben Fryer I know xxx
I know just how you feel, with me it's a ball of tacks in my gut
We believe you. ♥️
@@ivanivkovicmusic YES. You can and you MUST. For the sake of yourself and anyone who may question why you left enough, to wake up themselves. We did it. You can do it! Find real friends and remember that there is a difference between "relative" and "family".
Or they'll say "We don't talk about what happens in the family" "families stick together"
Another great mantra that’s used!
"BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER" ugh
"What happens in this house, stays in this house" is another one.
@@imanifest3138 yessss. I heard that one a lot too.
Lucy Goose The water of the womb is thinner than the blood of the covenant.
Truth 101 girl!!- you spoke my life!- I just broke free about 6 months ago. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done!!- I'm rebuilding self trust and being alone. I'm the only person that's been awake for many decades the first to find strength to walk away. Prayers to you and you family. My body literally stayed suffering from essential tremors neurologicallly every time of be in the presence of these people. I have since had no tremors the body will let you know when it's toxic. Thank you for standing in your calling and sharing the real talk!!- I appreciate you. Best to you!! I had to take charge for my daughter's mental well being as well. I have no ally other than a therapist and a friend's mom who experienced this. I'm going to build a new family. I Thank you for speaking direction and order to what we really should seek out for healthy relationships
went no contact with family of origin about 3 years ago now. made everything so so much better and it's exactly like she says - only regret is that i didn't do it sooner
Got out 5 years ago and every word you say is true. The further I get the more I have done well for myself by getting that constant talk out of my head. We hear the words toxic so much thrown around but its like a cancer we don't realize is in there. Once we lean in to the loneliness and the horrors of orphaning ourselves we detox this kind of crap and crappy people we couldn't recognize earlier in the game. I swear I didn't even have to do much; life just kinda got in there and moved me by default. No way my narc tank family would have allowed me to finish my degree and start making good money for myself. They would have sabotaged me or had me do it myself. Always thought I was not good in school. I was a big daydreamer the teachers said but now I know it was disassociation from all the chaos at home. Lack of concentration is one of the biggest symptoms of CPTSD. I read some books on it and learned how to 'lean in' to the loneliness and stay present. What a perk on top of everything else to realize I'm a book smart too now. I really thought I was just dumb and stupid. They know by now I'm serious five years later and I know they creep and i NEVER DO. Totally desperate to get me back into the frey and I couldn't care less to be bother to finish the story. All I can say is No Contact seriously saved me from murder or suicide and that's not multiple choice.
Thank you for sharing these encouraging insights with others! It’s amazing how much life changes on the flip side of narc abuse.
Wow, I can relate to this so much! I always thought I had ADHD because I couldn’t concentrate on anything longer than 15 minutes. Now I can read a book in one sitting without trouble. It‘s crazy how crippling this form of abuse is, I hope more people find out about this, it’s so helpful and life-changing 💙
They don’t want you to really succeed. They want to keep you dependent on them. Healthy families raise healthy children to send out to the world and make decisions for themselves. Narcs are terrified the day their adult children/family may see red flags within the family and actually act on those warnings signs. They also never expect it to happen, they are too arrogant and caught up in their distorted world to believe we would actually walk away.
Thanks to you Meredith. Been a fan for years.
Garret I know the feeling
As an only child I was simultaneously the scapegoat, Golden child & the lost/forgotten child. I am constantly at war with myself
I was also the only in a family of two parents one an overt N and the other borderline with NPD. It is a special kind of confusion.
You have to choose to not live from that place in your life anymore. If you still choose to let that control who you are. You are still letting them control and manipulate you, and that isn't good for anyone.
I've seen THOUSANDS of videos on CZcams over the last several years of narcissistic psychopathology, and this is the most accurate and informative one I've watched on the cult-like family dynamic. Very well done. You've amassed an impressed amount of knowledge since I last watched one of your videos 4-5 years ago.