Is Your Attachment Style formed BEFORE You're Even Born?
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- čas přidán 2. 08. 2024
- In this insightful conversation, Adam dives deep into the age-old question: "Who am I?" and "What am I supposed to be doing?" These questions often leave people feeling lost and seeking direction. Adam identifies two key factors in discovering one's true self: core principles and long-term goals. These factors form the foundation of his "Attachment Boot Camp" course.
Core Principles: Adam emphasizes the importance of having a set of core principles, an internal honor code that guides your sense of right and wrong. Surprisingly, research indicates that only about 10% of people have this strong internal moral compass. Most people are driven by external validation or fear of negative consequences.
Long-Term Goals: The second factor is your long-term goals or mission in life. This involves the legacy you want to create and how you plan to achieve it while staying true to your principles.
Exploring a Third Factor: Emotional Epigenetics
Andrey joins the discussion to introduce a third factor: emotional epigenetics. He explains that our behaviors and emotional responses are influenced not only by our experiences but also by inherited traits and traumas. Referencing the work of Mark Wolynn and groundbreaking studies on stress inheritance, Andrey highlights how our ancestors' experiences can shape who we are today.
The Intersection of Science and Spirituality
Andrey and Adam discuss the fascinating interplay between science and spirituality in understanding emotional epigenetics. They reference studies showing how stress responses can be inherited across generations, emphasizing the importance of understanding our emotional lineage.
Freedom and Responsibility
Adam concludes by challenging the notion of freedom without responsibility. He argues that true liberation involves a great deal of responsibility, as our actions impact not only our present relationships but also future generations.
If you enjoyed this video then I would recommend you give the full Episode a Watch: • The Shocking Reason Yo...
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If you’ve struggled in dating or marriage and worry you’re not good enough, worry no more. The Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith wrote this guide to show you how to stop fearing abandonment and start building healthy relationships. Through his proven step-by-step method for repairing attachment, Adam will teach you what people really want from you, how to give and receive love without fear, what red flags to avoid, and how you can build a lifetime love with a partner you trust.
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Chapters:
00:00:00 - Finding Your True Self
00:00:40 - Fear and Confusion in Decision-Making
00:01:18 - Liberation and Personal Identity
00:02:00 - The Impact of Emotional Epigenetics
00:02:36 - The Impact of Trauma Response on Behavior
00:03:20 - The Emotional Epigenetics of Who We Are
00:04:00 - The importance of attachment and environment
00:04:42 - Great Freedom comes with Great Responsibility
00:05:25 - The Impact of Your Choices on Future Generations
“ with great freedom comes great responsibility “ 👍👍 thank you!
Absolutely!🙌🙌
Temperament is inherited.
That's a great point, but what are your thoughts on the nature vs. nurture debate?
@@AttachmentAdam Yes, let's discuss epigenetics
@@AttachmentAdam I read a book about twins, maybe 10-15 years ago, about twins, separated, and raised separately.
They were far more likely to resemble each other than their adopted families.
I don’t know how that relates to attachment theory, say if one family is secure and stable and another family is erratic.
@@oambitiousone7100 I have three adopted sisters in real life but cousins in our family. One is my adopted sister, she and her cousin - sisters in real life were not brought up together but all have physical mannerisms the same, way if speaking similar, tone of voice. What I notice in character is a strong stubbornness and can be unforgiving. The karmic pattern of sexual abuse against them has affected most of them accept for the one adopted in a very devout Christian family. Prayer is a protector? I think so.
That I do not know. But in my case I find almost impossible to change my style. I have learned to manage it to my benefit, mostly by avoiding immediate reactions, and putting time, thought and purpose to my actions. But, I am what I am. 😅
Wow! This was amazing. Another higher level of understanding. Thank you!
Thank you so much for your kind feedback, Sandra! ⭐
I found attachment theory about the same time i stumbled on 16 personalities. Both have been added to a tool kit of 4 humors and 5 love languages. Some aspects of these seem to be wired from birth (analyzing stories of my early years through these systems) and others are learned as we grow and develop
I find epigenetics fascibating, because my 2 year old daughter is a donor egg conceived child. I'm an FA and a sole parent (victim of DV) and health professionals have said my daughter is securely attached
I'm sorry to hear about what you went through and I hope you have found the right support. It's wonderful that your child has developed secure attachment. What do you think helped her the most?
Amazing, and if these are responses 4 generations later, do we have correct lenses with which to see our world in this generation, especially with the technological advances we experience. Do we need to increase our receptivity to positive input and or feedback 😅
That's a thought-provoking question. With the rapid pace of technological advances, it's important to continually adapt our perspectives. How do you think we can best balance embracing new technology while maintaining healthy relationships and perspectives?
Attributing how much is nature vs nurture is TOUGH. Would you say the treatment modalities are the same for the two? At least some overlap? I understand from Vienna Pharaon and Robert Glover that it's not mandatory to have memories of our trauma (emotional memory that doesn't have a visual or any reference point besides the emotion itself)
Great question. While treatment approaches can overlap, they need to be tailored to each person's experiences. It seems like you're educated on this topic. Have you applied any strategies or specific techniques to address your own emotional memories?
Can you please do an episode that would explain why are committed romantic relationships are important? My avoidant husband doesn't understand why are romantic committed relationships important and sees them Tobe less of a priority than other things such as job, parents s relationship....
etc.
Thank you for your suggestion. Exploring the importance of committed romantic relationships could be a valuable topic. It's common for individuals to prioritize different aspects of life, and understanding the significance of relationships can lead to healthier dynamics. I'll definitely consider your request for a future episode.
You need God and he is the only way.
Yes, thank you for sharing your perspective. Everyone finds strength and guidance in different ways. 🙏❤
Do anything to avoid pointing the finger at women and saying ´You did this΅ you fix. The sacred ´women are wonderful´ needs to be be stopped.
Do you mean to say we should be pointing fingers at women more?
@@AttachmentAdam Until Women are responsible for their choices, NOTHING can get better. Feel free to disagree, I have yet to see or experience this.
The same can be said of any sex. Choice is choice. We are all responsible for our choices and how we live our lives based on them. (i.e. to stay or go). You pointing fingers at women is no different than what you say women are doing.@jackdeniston6150