When your nervous systems is stuck in freeze
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- čas přidán 25. 03. 2024
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Sobbing because this is exactly what I’m doing at this moment, and it’s an every single day occurrence
🫂 Same 🫂
❤
Me too
Same here. Feels like groundhog day sometimes. So repetitive. Cos chores are so hard with herniated disc hip impingement and sciatica nerve damage. LORD JESUS HELP ME.. HELP US LORD.. I have two adult special needs sons I care for with my mentally ill husband.. we are both gentle simple people with hearts for God.. we will be redeemed by our SAVIOUR MESSIAH JESUS CHRIST.. THE KING OF KINGS LORD OF LORD. JESUS SAID WE WILL.SUFFER IN THIS PLACE.. BUT OUR FAITH WILL SUSTAIN US AND WE ARE BEING MADE WHOLE DAILY SPIRITUALLY THROUGH BAPTISM HOLY SPIRIT.. JESUS SAID LEAST YOU BE BORN AGAIN YOU WILL NOT INHERIT KINGDOM OF GOD.. JESUS IS ONLY WAY OUT THIS MESS. GOD IS GIVER AND TAKER.. I KNOW IM LEARNING SOMETHING THROUGH MY PAIN ... HUMILITY. GOD HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS. BLESS YOU.
Same. But I have found some books that claim to know how to help me get out of this state, so I still have hope.
I’m frozen with overwhelm. So I procrastinate on really important things. And then the problems get a million times WORSE 😭😭
Yeah, our mind knows it. But the rest stands still. It's not laziness, it's being paralyzed inside. Like a tiger who can't get out of his cage. 😢
I want to flee the important and challenging things and most of the times I do. And then I end up either escalating the situation and/or (financially) hurting myself.
Unfortunately, ignoring most problems doesn't make them go away. Unless the problem is teeth, they will eventually go away, but everything else pretty much gets bigger.
Yes I feel you !
So me
So crazy this is literally me now… After battling depression over 10yrs trying to get my house back in order… Has been an overwhelming task!!!! But I STARTED and I’m so proud of myself!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉
God, I know it too. Today I almost cried when I woke up, bc I didn't remeber that I washed the dishes last nite. I was crying of happines, and pride almost.
Some days are so hard. Maybe I will harness some energy to take a shower later...
Wishing you the best for the next days!
Well done!!!
@@artifundio1Well done to you too!
❤❤❤
what helped you?
So many people living like this. I thought it was just me.
You have company. How can we help?
I thought it was just me also.
Definitely not alone ❤❤❤
Thank you for these replies. I have no energy. I just don't feel like doing anything. 😢
Thank you i'm not alone! Last 3 yrs in depresssion, pain of all trauma in my life, so much tears...🥺😭😭😭 Thank you Lord Jesus Christ that you healed my soul🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻God bless you all 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💖💖💖✨✨✨
To anyone struggling. I ironically enough I feel like my crap hole of an apartment is finally clean and organized. It only took me two years. Seriously it took me two whole years. Today is the day I struggle with ADHD, and I run my own business and I have no one helping me With anything at all. Don’t shame yourself the way I looked at it is that this is a safe place to sleep and shower and eat, and when I went into cleaning mode or trying to sort through the debris mode and chores mode, I would pretend like I was a professional, organizer or cleaner, and this was a client home. It is an easy way to detach from the shame that you feel about it. I also had the tendency to rabbit hole with very small tasks. For example, I would be going through a mountain of clothes and I would see one sweater that needed a button fixed so then I would fix the button and it would me de-linting those sort of things also, I have ocd. Please don’t shame yourself only know that you have good intentions and that as long as you are doing even one small thing per day that is OK.❤
❤❤❤ Proud of you ❤❤❤
Great advice, I have days were I do more than the average person does in a week and other days like this video. I often say to others just do 1 thing, even if it's just washing the dishes.
I've always found it easier to clean other people's homes than my own but never underestimate the wonders of a clean, streamlined, uncluttered and organized home 😊
Can I also recommend a fabulous book called 'Lightly' by Francine Jay.
Less possessions = less stress, especially for those of us with OCD❤
Bless you-and may someday soon you get all the help you need ❤
😢
Relatable
All grow through this 🙌...
Slowly..it will be sorted...😊
Brilliant strategy. I used to clean houses for pay! I could clean someone else’s place no problem. I’d be OCD level. But my own stuff ? Omg. Those episodes are few and far between.
Instant tears. Too many times, too many days. I didn't think anyone else would understand. Thank you.
❤❤❤
I'm watching this in the middle of doing this.
So do I… have had a day just like this
No fight or flight mode just freeze mode..even babies keep crawling when picked up.. 😢
& me too...
Me too 🤦♀️ so what’s the way out anyone know…? X
Same, how to get out of this loop?!
I’ve been in survival mode for 56 years and I’m now 61. I’m drained……
❤
Me too!!!
@@starrystarrynight6281 I’m sorry. 🙏🏽🕊🤗
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope that you feel peace soon!
Big hug with love ❤️ You’re not alone.
If you can, please try to see therapist (for me I’m going with the one using EMDR technique, basically she guides me go back to my childhood and fix problems I had). Without knowing reasons we can’t fix our mind to be free.
"This is the nervous system in functional freeze: no energy or motivation,. The body has one goal: survival"
So accurate!
Because you are using all your strength, energy and motivation just to survive. Sending love. Stay strong ❤❤❤❤
This has been me for years, I’ve recently been diagnosed with complex ptsd. I get more done if I HAVE to do everything in an hour, than if I have all day to get things done.
I am the same way. If I'm rushed/pressed for time, then I'll accomplish it - otherwise, everything gets left until last minute, or after the deadline. 👎😓 Such a panicked way to live. It's like I choose chaos because it is familiar, therefore associated with feeling safe/within my comfort zone. When really it is just destructive and self sabotaging. 💔
@@deedeescrew125"It's like I choose chaos because it is familiar, therefore associated with feeling safe/within my comfort zone." This! Thank you.
I'm the same....lm 53 with depression and lve recently started using a timer method...starting with the priorities but once the timer goes off lm done. I get so much done and its definitely helped.
Good luck in your healing journey ❤
❤❤❤
I’m so sorry ❤ I have ADHD and cPTSD so I really feel you, it can be so tough - we have to work on creating a new baseline, baseline of safety isn’t there anymore so the body is already working overtime😢somehow you have to teach yourself that your now safe and over a long period of time for you’re body to get it. I feel like my baseline is just panic, do you feel this way too? Sending love!
That's where I'm stuck in. I don't know how to shake it off and wondering where that dynamic, competent part of me went.
It got exhausted... 😓
@@carolinacarsolio5476
Yes indeed. It's exhausting.
With me it’s been a 30 year loveless marriage. Providing for her and two wonderful daughters while trying to keep going through the motions, living together, un- divorced, with virtually no show of appreciation, no physical or emotional intimacy, (just scorn, verbal disappointment and shaming) while I’ve managed a stressful career and part time hustles to keep it all financially afloat, as we can’t afford 2 separate dwellings, I’m
Totally cooked !
I also am there, it took a while for me to get there after breaking my back, but slowly over the years I have become what I was so afraid of becoming. I can see me, who I used to be, but I can't connect with her anymore. I feel like I have become lazy, something that I have never been able to understand in other people, I always had to be moving and doing something, accomplishing something, I can't get there any more. I think sometimes maybe my body or nervous system is just too tired from living in survival mode for many years. It very much scares me as I don't know how to navigate it or clean it out of me. It feels like a heavy dirty weight that I can't shake.
@@JudiInIdaho
That's what I'm trying to get by polivagal theory and somatic exercises and trauma release exercises but I think there's no a formula for all and we need to work at all levels not just psychological but emotional, vagal nerve, dorsal vagal and a whole etc, because after decades of indoctrination and childhood, when we are most moldeable, can't go away in a year... it's the rational brain against the limbic brain and a whole bunch of trauma stuck in our bodies. Freeze response might feel to others you are ok because you are not in fight response but you are, only your nervous system decided you can't fight no longer and keep you freeze, ready to die. That's why pushing ourselves doesn't work but... making it work again takes time, money, patient and safe people and many of us lost everything in the attempt to save our lives.
What is person is universal. Knowing I'm not the only one who struggles with this helps me feel compassion toward myself.
You deserve to give yourself that compassion ❤ I’m proud of you ❤
The best answer ❤ sending my love to you proud of you
So clarifying and validating. I use to wonder why I could be so organised and get lots of stuff done one day, then the next few couldn't seem to get anything done.
Your not alone ❤❤❤
This is something I dealt with for years. I've found the only solution is to just start doing *one* thing on the "to-do" list. Even if it seems pointless. Doing something will #1 accomplish or make progress with a task, #2 distract from the mental downward spiral, and #3 hopefully create momentum.
🤣😭 I'm fighting my lists with pen and sword! 🕯📗✒
Yes Do anything. Do something snap . Its hard but do anything.
And even if it's only a tiny step, I still feel like I accomplished something, which is a big step for me since I can barely function most days. My therapist asked if I could be kind to myself and tell myself it's ok if I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted to or even if I did nothing at all.
She said she noticed that if I didn't get anything done and started beating myself up about it that I would have several days afterwards where I would sleep most of the time trying to escape my brain shaming me.
She figured if I could stop that, then I would not sleep as much and it would motivate me to take little steps. I guess trying to spiral upwards from my progress, rather than hating myself and making me have days where getting out of bed was unlikely.
This is how I get when my depression is at a constant- not getting better, not getting worse. It’s like I’m stuck in “freeze” mode, wanting time to stop so I can breathe. Totally get it.
Same. I go through periods - i call it my 'up' to neutral and 'down' rollercoaster - where i'm like you're fine but you get nothing done because of adhd even on stims, to....oh i know this feeling. I know this 'i should just hang out in bed and sleep' feeling, nothing is even remotely interesting. Welp, it was fun being a little bit more functionally while it lasted.
When we slow down, depressed, becomes deep-rest. The pace of life is too fast, it’s ok to go at your own pace 💚
Oh the constant desire to hit the pause button on time so I can feel like I can breathe, process and rest is so real. The most frustrating thing I think is that even if I let myself just rest for a few days it gets better for a few days at best. Then everything I need to do is still there, I'm tired and unmotivated and want to pause time again.
@@mordecaiissad8529 Same-ish. Like, it's probably depression, but i wonder if i'm just not enough for this world.
You said it perfectly, I just want to breathe too.
Been in a freeze for months, I’ve been feeling so empty but full of pure anxiety. This page has helped connect a lot of dots about why I feel this way, thank you.
Remember your never alone ❤❤❤ and to give yourself the compassion you truly deserve ❤
@@MASHkicksass Thank you
have had a day just like this … feel jittery, no concentration, overwhelmed by doing nothing 😢… thank you Dr. Nicole and fellow trauma healers here in the comments ❤ love from Europe, Germany
❤️🩹
God bless you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💖💖💖✨✨✨May God bring all over you His blessings with health-healing, peace, love, hapiness and Joy 🥰🥰💯💯💯❣️❣️❣️
This is me almost every day. It’s exhausting and I find it so hard to explain to people
It’s best to not even try to explain. They will never understand. In my experience anyway.
Explaining to people is like talking to a wall… so I literally put up a wall..therefore no explanation needed..It’s just me and Yeashua the Christ nowadays…he made me he knows me and he loves me and I love him🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Í get talked down and dressed down if I try to explain so I don't. I just find it easier to have people stop coming to my house.
This is how more and more of my life feels everyday
❤❤❤ your not alone ❤❤❤
I am struggling so much with everything at the minute. Household chores , kids , work . I am so overwhelmed and sad over it all
I hope things get better for you friend. ❤
❤ me too
I’m so sorry! Please take at least one day for YOURSELF so you can get mentally strong again ❤
Freeze frame,for sure.
Hugs .... That's a lot.. but it's possible to do more than survive... It's possible to really live ...
This is like a video representation of what living with ADHD feels like. Love your videos they are so validating
I have hard Time understanding the difference between ptsd or complexe trauma and ADHD. The mechanism seems really similar
@@laured.821 yes, they are... i had to find a specialist in both in order for them to suss out which of my systems are what to find out ive got both... I was actually relieved to have accurate diagnosis for a change because i could stop negative self talk abuse that I've doled out liberally on myself for decades. This video is the perfect look inside. Dr Nicole's books have been a comforting asset along my therapy journey. 🎉
This... so much this... ❤
Yeah definitely
Stop saying every struggle known to man is adhd. Just stop. Adhd is pseudoscience
Yes, totally relate! Have learned to put my self care first instead of last, even if it's just a few minutes, and take more breaks, expect less in a day and honor my energy when can. Self compassion has helped. Some things that seem so important aren't important to anyone else, so it's easier to let go.
I thought i recovered from a breakdown, but this started three months ago and hasnt ended. Its like a piece of the adult me disappeared and left me in bed.
Yes! I knew I needed to clean the bathroom, but didn't. Until I found out the inlaws were stopping by in an hour. Hubby and I panic cleaned 0
/10 would not recommend. One thing that seems to help with tasks is setting a timer. I set a timer for 5, 10, or 15 minutes when I'm really struggling. Once the timer goes off, I stop. Cass from Clutterbug says 5 minutes matters. If I am feeling better I can set it for another 10 minutes and keep going. Timer also prevents exhausting yourself.
I'm going to try the timer with my dishes
Yes.
Thank you for the tip.
The timer also is helpful with the hardest part of any task: getting started. It's easier to start when you can tell yourself, "I can put up with anything for five minutes, even this."
@@notashroom Agreed. I make a list of 2-minute to-dos. That feels manageable and motivating.
So how does a person get out of functional freeze? I really need help with this.
Slowly. Build self trust, you've likely lost some of that. I've had to learn to fight for myself, so I found my anger. I've had to learn to be relentless and to always get back up and just try again. I've had to learn to do things poorly, to abandon perfectionism instead of abandoning my life.
It's incredibly hard work. You might look into neurodivergence for yourself. Also, antidepressants can help a ton.
For me, I had to learn to trust myself again that when I told myself I would do something, I could trust that I was capable of actually getting it done. It's taken years of work, learning to consistency, learning to allow myself to fail without being derailed.
It's exhausting. I'm so sorry. If you're open to resources, I was helped a lot by Pete Walker's work, and Patrick Teahan and thehealthygamergg here on CZcams.
Learning to be alive again is the hardest thing I've ever done, but it was worth it and the sooner you start, the sooner you'll be able to look up and realize you're finally making progress. 💜
It's really Annoying that there's a bunch of shorts from ppl identifying and describing it, but none of them address what to do about it.
Breath work is really the most powerful, Meditation, ,walking, singing, drawing, Journaling , yoga, Qi gong and exercise
Healing your inner child as well due to trauma
Try to get dopamine with small tasks and then use that dopamine for the bigger tasks. This is what I learned that is helping the most right now. Good luck
I’m realizing with therapy and channels like this… I have been in pure survival mode for basically 20 years…. I’m trying to learn how to actually live. Thank you for making these videos. It’s nice to not feel so alone🖤
❤ I get this too
You got this ❤ proud of you ❤
your not alone, .. overcoming ourselves , 🦋
You will start to live again. I've been in survival mode before. It's like, I was just existing. No passion, no motivation. This was over 10 years ago. Counseling along with different positive, inspirational videos has helped tremendously. I'm still a work in progress, but in a much better place in my life. It's a journey, not a destination. I'm finally enjoying the ride. I still have my days, but I understand it's ok, not to he ok some days.
Me too 🫶
It's good to know that when you feel shut down, you could be OVER stimulated. I think that might help with working through it.
My life since I was 6. And the societal shame that comes with the snowball affect of the damage from the body being in this state for so long, the worst thing is, once your in it, it’s hard to get out, the world isn’t safe enough.
Explain please what damage exactly
@@chichan6969imagine they are referring to the judgement, criticism, and shame from the world not understanding and treating us like we’re deciding to be lazy and irresponsible. It pushes us deeper into depression, hopelessness, shut down. It adds another layer to trauma, and the stress hormone does damage the physical bod
When I get like this, I just wait it out (usually by watching YTube, Netflix, etc.) I know I’ll feel better eventually and I’ll get everything done. When I do feel better, I make a list of things I want to accomplish and work my way through it, which feels good. This is what works for me.
For me too! But is hard to explain to the ppl around me who want me to "try harder" to get out of the freeze state by will power. In my experience when I try to snap out of it the freeze state lasts longer. Anyone else?
Proud of you ❤ you found what works for you and I know it isn’t easy ❤ your kicking ass ❤
@@carolinacarsolio5476100% your not alone I got through the same challenges ❤ keep going I’m proud of you for everything you accomplish ❤
Yes that's a good way to tackle the problem..absolutely with
you . Wait till you get that short burst of energy and have the list near by. It's the only way I think for me. So many of us ius comforting to know we are not alone ❤
I call it a wave, to catch the next wave. I know it will come but I do have to actively take rest days seriously. I'm not going to get better from my heart conditions so I do have to balance my energy and ability. If I can't do something then I get someone to step in to help. Yes, it's shit, I've managed all my life but if I want to live longer then I have to give up some independence even though it's not easy at all. I do like the feel of "I did that". Eat the cake one crumb at a time. And don't try to take everyone on the Ark, look after yourselves. Xxx
I did this today. I am retired so I can do it, but it doesn't feel good. Grief sometimes puts you in this mode.
This is me!!!! All it takes is 2 days of me not being up to anything for my house to look like it hadn't been cleaned in a month. I felt really awful when my best friend stopped by one day and later told me on the phone my apartment was dirty. It was more messy than dirty. I already put myself through enough negative emotions. Something like that can make me go from almost getting by to barely getting by
Your friend shouldn’t be saying things like that to you instead they should offer to pop over n help . Positive energy not negative x
I wake up see the weeks worth of dirt clothes on the floor plates and cut a that have accumulated and think “ I was happier sleeping” then spend the entire day in bed waiting for sleep scrolling through CZcams shorts. Once I scrolled so much I reached the end of shorts 😅😅🤣 CZcams was like we have no more shorts to show you! No lie
Ive done this too!
You just described me 100%, who are you?
I retired at 74 for months I ate slept and repeated and was fine with it. Did as you did with the shorts. Im now doing more. It’s ok.
What causes this
It's ME ALL DAY!!
Trauma can , also different mental health conditions
I feel this. Freeze isn't my main defense against stress, but it is in the top 3. Dissociation is first. Fleeing is second.
The way I’m scrolling right now to avoid doing all the chores I know I should be doing… shot through the heart
I have been in this state for a while now, since about July of last year. Starting to feel like I’m at the end of it. It’s hard not to shame yourself when you can visually see everything that needs to be done…but shaming is the exact thing that mustn’t be done!
This is exactly 💯 what I'm going through right now. I have a to do list that is taking me ages to do,and I still haven't even started yet.
I feel so overwhelmed.
This is me in your video.
Sorry to hear. Maybe take a task and break it down into 2-minute steps?
Huh. I was wondering why I have been in paralysis since my last therapy session. We were working on feeling things instead of dissociating, and going through trauma. I've been feeling so guilty because I haven't been showering for five days now. Just eating and taking my medication takes it out of me. The shame is overwhelming, but then again, I have been bombarded with serious trauma since I was born, like a flower that tries it's hardest to grow but gets trampled everyday. I'm forty and haven't had a job since 2019, after my last burnout. All through my teens and twenties I have been studying and failing, working until burnout again and again. I've had at least six different jobs that I worked until I literally couldn't function anymore. Then I got dumped by my abusive husband. I got back to working, but then my mother got cancer.
I have horrible flashbacks from hearing the most random sounds. My life is full of anguish and strife, and I feel ashamed and lazy.
My therapist tells me I'm working hard. I know I'm working hard, but I don't feel it. All I feel is shame. I needed to see this today.
Proud of you for doing the hard work. Where you are right now is just part of the process.
Agreed. Your life has value and worth. Keep going. Just one moment at a time one thing at a time.
This is me Every day! When my kids were young they propelled me forward . Last week was spring break and my youngest was not home several days . I did Nothing . Then mad scrambled to clean the house so he wouldn't see the terrible mess . So he would be greeted by a clean home functioning at a Healthy capacity . My older daughter and my son commented how clean it was and did you clean the whole time ? Reaction accomplished but the truth was I fell apart while he was gone ..
I've been feeling this way for years, since my dad died. My house is slowly getting better but this video shows perfectly what I go through in a day. I can stand or sit there and feel stuck for literally hours.
I’ve been like this for months. It’s a mixture of a lot of things. I need rest! 😣😩
❤❤❤ I believe in you your not alone ❤❤❤ I’m sorry your going through it it’s hard
I have severe ADHD. It took me two years longer to graduate from college because I had to repeat some math and science classes THREE times. It just gets harder to manage as you get older. I make tons of plans and don’t follow through or forget I even scheduled them. I start cleaning out my bedroom closet when the goal was the kitchen cabinets. I scramble to pay bills on the last due date or late because I forgot where I put them. I have even forgotten where I put Christmas gifts I bought for people and wind up giving them late. Many days I am in the state demonstrated in the short, just overwhelmed and mentally drained.
Your content is so sweet & incredibly healing & helpful. Blessings to you & yours ❤
I've never seen it put so perfectly. I feel so stupid when this happens. Chores used to be such aggressive & violent times as a child, too.
I've been reading "Atomic Habits" and it has been totally helping. It's on audiobooks, also, and there's a workbook, too 😊
Í heard that way à good book
This is the technological pandemic, it doesn't matter the psychological diagnosis, 15 years ago we had depression, anxiety, but we do not respond this way, overstimulation it's what we have these days so everything seems plane, lame, with not fascination. So we get bored. Use your cellphones about 3 hours during the day and you will see the change, our mind starts to recover, our senses too. Our body get the flush of energy to do things and our heart the motivation of feel again.... technology it's a hard drug let's face it!!!
This has pretty much been my entire life. I could cry, thank you for putting a name on it! This is exactly it, and everything is so hard.
ADHD?
Very hard to get out of survival mode
Especially after the last 4 years
One day at a time
Try to find joy and purpose
And make sure to rest ♡
This was me last Christmas. Beginning of burn out in my case.
I am healing through:
1st - sick leave and reduction of pressure, priority on self care.
2nd - working on past trauma and allowing old emotions (IFS and embodiment are doing magic!).
@lauratoblana
I am familiar with IFS but can you tell me what embodiment is?
@@ASentientPlant connecting to the body: yoga, breath, dancing, walking in nature, ..., all the above and paying attention to the body
I feel like this is me everyday. I’ve been through so much trauma and pain… I work from home and still don’t have any motivation/energy to clean. I also feel it’s so time consuming but needs to be done. My place is organized but household chores overwhelm me… I’ve raised my two kids alone and feel that’s apart of my lack of motivation. Just doing it alone by myself for so long. I’m finally in a place that I can rest and relax. Yrs ago, started working on myself, healing through therapy and my spirituality. I’ve realized that it’s okay for me to be overwhelmed and rest… my nervous system I believe is resting from all the sh*t. I’m hiring a cleaning service to come once or twice a month to help out!!
my default mode in precise detail. I'm gradually increasing my ability to overcome the inertia but even so I still beat myself up for not improving faster etc.
YES I was just going to say this is exactly !! How I’ve been when in Freeze mode the past few months. Some days are better or worse than others !! ❤❤❤ thank you so much for your validating content !
This has been me for most of my life. Thank you so much for this video! I love all your videos. You guys are on my list of great healing resources. This helped me so much because I shame myself for doing precisely what you’re describing in the clip almost every day! I feel like a lazy loser and I know better. I finally discovered complex trauma or CPTSD over a year ago and have been working on myself, since. It’s so difficult for me to get out of freeze mode much of the time, however, still. I’ve done so much of the hard work involved in recovering from this horrible malady and I still can’t get myself out of “that place”every few days. The days I’m not “frozen”, it takes me a couple hours to get moving to just do simple tasks like making the bed. Then I can work myself up to the more important stuff. I have a trauma therapist twice a week. I do homework for her. I do a lot of journaling. I have read and done the work involved in many books re: childhood trauma. I have 4 CZcams channels to go to that not only have helpful videos like yours, but have work involved and workshops, etc….that I do. I went NO CONTACT with my entire immediate family, step-family, and both sides of my extended families, and with all the toxic “friends” I had. I’m very alone and this is the only social media platform I will use. I only have 1 semi-toxic person left in my life but for good reason. I’ve learned so much. I’ve taken up a fabulous spiritual practice that has helped me with self-awareness and other issues, as well. Why is getting out of freeze mode so difficult for me??
On days like this I just take a hot shower to help me reset.
😭 help me with this pls lol
Hug, your not alone.
Helps me to make a short list of easy 2-min. tasks/steps, to break out of this, 2 minutes at a time. Two minutes is an unintimidating amount of time for me. For exampe:
- comb hair
- make bed
- eat cereal
- pack a sandwich & fruit
- do a few dishes
- pick up clothes and put them in two laundry boxes: one for lights, one for darks
- clean a sink
- clean the toilet
- sort a few papers into 4 categories (each with an index card with a task on it: To Do, To Read, To File, To Toss.) Spread the 4 cards out on a table or the bed, then take a small stack of papers (i.e. 12 - 20), look at the top sheet just long enough to decide which index card it belongs next to (such as To File), then place it there. Then look briefly at the next paper, and place it next to the appropriate index card (i.e. "To Read"), and so on, til all the papers have been "dealt out" next to the index cards. Then toss the "To Toss" stack (or hand-shred), file the "To File" pile, etc.
To anyone struggling with this right now. You are not alone! Me too!! I would say to anyone else.. be kind to yourself, have self compassion! I just need to remind myself of that more! We’ve got this!!! 💯💗
As a fellow sufferer I am sending each of you a gentle virtual hug and lots of love. You are not alone x
This is most days, I have to get my life back, just seems to overwhelming!
This is the premise of my existence...I hate having to work a corporate job for this reason. Never feels like I am at ease knowing that the work just never stops. I never feel in control 😮💨😔
Hugs to you. That sounds like a really awful feeling. You deserve to feel that you have control over your life and have work that is fulfilling, with meaningful milestones so you can feel accomplished.
Seeing the video broke my heart. I know that feeling so well....
I've missed class assignments over this and I feel horrible about it
ADHD vibes. My mother has shamed me to hell and back for not doing chores that her shame has caused me mental harm. And because of her beinge motional neglectful, she doesn’t give a damn. My father clearly also has ADHD and she has straight up told me that she thinks that there’s something “wrong” with my dad’s genes
This has been me on and off for the last 7years. Prolonged high stress environment and situations meant when the chaos was gone from around me, I crashed, and getting back into a regular routine when there wasn't one beforehand is hard
This is me all the time. From the time my abuse started at the age of 12 to now at 31 years I have been in this state.. Just barely managed to survive. I've just managed to do the essentials and that's it. I have not flourished or thrived. For a long time, like my family, I blamed myself for my failures. But recently, as I started my healing journey through videos like yours and professional help, I'm finally realizing that it was not my fault. Consciously I don't blame myself anymore, but the subconscious scars are very deep and complete recovery will take a very long time.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. Some of us are hanging by the last thread here.
This is exactly my life. I'm currently totally overwhelmed 24/7. Nowhere in my home or life is organised or calming. I'm 50 and only figured out that I have ADHD. No diagnosis but GP doctors don't seem to have any interest in helping patients any more, so I don't even bother trying to get an appoint. 6 years ago I was diagnosed with chronic CPTSD due to the catalogue of traumas I've survived through, but now I'm realising the neurodivergencies that were masked and mirrored by the trauma... I'm totally exhausted and have barely moved from my bed or sofa in months. Even my cats have been overwhelming me so I've taken to just putting their food out an ignoring them and not letting them inside because there's already too much cat fur everywhere and so now I'm feeling like an atrocious excuse of a person. As crap as it is , I'm glad I stumbled on the video as I take some easier breaths in knowing I'm not actually going mad and I'm not alone in this horrible freeze mode. Sorry for the long whinge. God be with each one of you. We'll get there... Tell the Negative Committee that's taking up space in your head and tell it to jog on...❤
This is me too. Husband died last May. Moving to another state and trying to pack up the house. It's going very, very, very slowly.
My husband passed away from Covid-19 on 2-2-22. His office door is still shut. I just can't seem to figure out what, or how, to do anything. And I'm not even moving, but I really need that room for my bedroom as I have trouble on the stairs up to our bedroom
You know what helps? If you can afford even once a month to hire someone to do it for you. You need your energy back and community who can help you do what you don't feel like truly helps.
This explains so much thank you
It's always like you're in my head
omg this is 100% me 😢
This is the most relatable post I’ve ever seen regarding my CPTSD and how it affects my life daily. So simple yet so profound.
I found getting Accupunture a massage or a foot rub helped me.
That's me. And so many other people here too. Positive change is needed. Let's get off CZcams for now and get up, go into a different room and look around. We'll see something that needs to be done. Let's do it. Celebrate the achievement. Keep the momentum. Making a start is the first step.
You have been reading my mind 😢
Every damn day 😢
Been there get on your knees and pray for guidance and strength. Believe me you will be motivated to perform at a higher level❤
This is me currently with having to get all the tax information ready to take to accountants. Said I wouldn’t do it again like this last year…yet here we are. When I get it done, it is a relief…but then I start thinking, only 7 more months and I’ll be right back in the same boat…I need to give myself a break I think…but then the blame/shame game…
So close to home.
A person must take action even if they don’t want to…the more u overcome what your brain is procrastinating you to do, the easier it becomes. It’s all about your perspective and attitude about your life and yourself. There are resources to help a person overcome negative thinking, trauma, and dysfunction. It’s a choice! If a person is in this state there is something going on in the subconscious or conscious mind that needs to be addressed! ❤
This makes me feel seen in a way I never really have been. To separate the struggle and the cause, and to give yourself grace is an amazingly powerful thing❤
Damn we need to all start taking better care of ourselves. I always dreamed of building a Sanctuary in Scotland where we could all go, heal and lead fulfilling lives. We need space to BREATHE again and decompress, learn lessons, learn tools, talk openly and be HEARD.
Blessings to you ALL. No matter how hard, it does get better one day 💕👊🏴🇬🇧
The affect in this situation robs one of all energy and creates this desperate catch-22. I wonder if we at all do this to ourselves out of repetition compulsion. I was punished a lot as a kid for doing my best when it wasn't perfect. Currently trying to break out of this by doing one thing at a time and acknowledging my progress every step of the way.
Similar here. I was criticized as a kid for anything I ever did. So now as an adult I don’t even want to try to do anything.
Thats me too being depressed for so long, no motivation or energy to get anything done and feeling worthless because of it😢. Nothing gets done, my house, my life is a mess and i dont know how to fix it.😢
This is me all the time. People say they “get you” and understand, but they don’t really. Over time they begin to resent you. I’m filled with so much fear. I’m losing everything and everyone.
this is me right now...how do I stop it?
This has been me over the past week or so. My go to response is baby steps. Reeeaally small steps. Sometimes even getting up from the couch and opening a window can be a win. Yesterday the only chore I did was shopping for groceries. Today, I was happy with myself because I took the trash out AND went outside for connection with nature. I didn't do the dishes though and about a million other chores that need to be done but hey, this is what's present at the moment. I'm happy that I can even take it as lightly as I can right now because a few years ago, I would have drowned in despair when I was in this state. Trauma is very persistent and I guess celebrating the little tiny baby steps is what keeps me going. I feel stuck and empty and if I abandon and shame myself on top of that, I will only make it worse.
Thank you for validating these feelings! 💕 What do we do?
I am with you on this.
Finally pushed myself to get my things done.
I wasted so much time the last few days.
I'm committed to change.
Procrastination is a hindrance to me & my life
Living this at the moment despite being a somatic therapist 😅
Me 100%....... as I. Watch ......😢
Is this functional freeze similar to or the same as job burnout?
It is probably a huge part of the burnout symptoms… it’s like the polyvagal name for burnout
Yeah that does suck! Thanks for explaining in your videos 🙏
Omg! I fight this every day. Yet I have days I push through because I have no choice and the days where it’s impossible, I let myself relax. Yes it comes at a great expense but now I’m taking care of myself the way I should have all those years ago. In my 40’s but I feel like I am far older! I still practice gratitude everyday now. I wake up in pain. I thank God to be alive. Keep pushing forward ❤
I've always struggled with this, but since my service dog passed in October it's been so bad...
Praying for you!
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog.
Damn that's how I feel. Many times, I feel like just leaving travelling to no destination, just ride. Whatever I experience, I experience.
It’s like watching myself. Everyday..every single day I go through this till I get enough energy, motivation, focus..anything to get started on my tasks. Living with mental health disparities is a struggle!
Thank you for making content that allows all of us in the comment section to give ourselves grace and keep trying everyday ❤
These are the type of videos we need, thanks for making it, love your videos 😢❤
Not caring about chores in many cases so I can get up and get going.
But when I have to do one important chore, I will lag behind and finally start it.
This seriously brought tears to my eyes. It's validating to know it's not just me and at the same time it makes what I'm going through and constantly thinking all the more "real." 😢😮💨😔
I. Love. Your. Channel. You are helping me so much to heal myself!! I could cry right now 😢. Thank you! ❤
Thank you. You're a life saver. I'm encouraged to know there are others with my problem.
I can start by strengthening my nervous system.
This is EXACTLY why I am on my phone right now. Trying to do some homework since last hour, but definitely can't manage to concentrate... Thank you for that short, it helps a lot with the emotions 💕