The Aftermath of Childhood Sexual Abuse-JJ

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  • čas přidán 25. 03. 2021
  • Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of JJ, a Skid Row resident who shares his stories of how his childhood sexual abuse has effected him as an adult.
    For ad-free versions of SWU videos, as well as some exclusive videos please subscribe to Soft White Underbelly's CZcams Membership Channel.
    Here’s a link to audio only versions of SWU videos: asmrdb.fanlink.to/softwhiteun...
  • Krátké a kreslené filmy

Komentáře • 620

  • @brendenwinn8596
    @brendenwinn8596 Před 3 lety +492

    I am addicted to this channel. I've been telling everyone in my life about it. It is ridiculously educational.

    • @jviarruel
      @jviarruel Před 3 lety +13

      Me as well. I send psychologist and clinicians to this Channel.

    • @pinupgirl9160
      @pinupgirl9160 Před 3 lety +3

      Same here

    • @sunshinencoastlines
      @sunshinencoastlines Před 3 lety +6

      Me too. Thank you, Mark for what you do.

    • @jamesspooner1.2.76
      @jamesspooner1.2.76 Před 2 lety +4

      me too!! I told family&friends aboutthis channel, and they look at me like why? i Get 2 see/hear the craziest stories from all walks of life, people i would otherwise never meet or know about . i cant watch people abused during childhood, its too disturbing!
      But im hooked on this channel too

    • @jacquelinewoods111
      @jacquelinewoods111 Před 2 lety +1

      Me too

  • @siobhanaherne76
    @siobhanaherne76 Před 3 lety +565

    Still even at this age, he is very confused about his sexuality. Abuse effects a person all their life. Hope he finds some peace x

    • @terywetherlow5980
      @terywetherlow5980 Před 3 lety +15

      Siobhan my life has led me back to the Biblical teaching that sex is simply the tool to procreate, after all. It has been misused so often but as long as it supplies the future generations nobody worries about the anguish it creates.....

    • @ethelbentancourt4251
      @ethelbentancourt4251 Před 3 lety +8

      Yes it does I'm a live witness too that thank you

    • @theelectofthelivinggod5917
      @theelectofthelivinggod5917 Před 3 lety +5

      Yes I del with it every single day

    • @angelawalker6071
      @angelawalker6071 Před 3 lety +2

      Lisa hunt and Ethel I'm so sorry for the hurt that you two are STILL dealing with I pray that our Jesus grants you two and anyone else dealing with this I pray that HE grants you ALL peace that passes ALL understanding ❤️

    • @amaliasafaryan4256
      @amaliasafaryan4256 Před 3 lety +5

      hes bi pretty much what it sounds like, i hate how people act like bi people dont exist lol

  • @Callmedelilah
    @Callmedelilah Před 3 lety +243

    He’s been exploited his entire life. Sad.

    • @11940ful
      @11940ful Před 3 lety +4

      Yes, he needs therapy.

    • @DanRustle
      @DanRustle Před 3 lety +1

      There are a bazillion people like him.

    • @xoechoxo
      @xoechoxo Před 2 lety +1

      Valencia G so true, it makes you hope that change will happen for our future. For our children and for humanity.

  • @friggidyfran7573
    @friggidyfran7573 Před 3 lety +495

    I look up to a person that can be honest and tell embarrassing stories, because I sure can’t.

    • @lisam.878
      @lisam.878 Před 3 lety +32

      Nothing to be embarrassed about

    • @jackiekent8720
      @jackiekent8720 Před 3 lety +1

      I agree but sometimes I can depends on the mood...lol

    • @robs5579
      @robs5579 Před 3 lety +12

      I can in a one on one setting. But not with cameras on or thousands viewing

    • @scorpiocara6798
      @scorpiocara6798 Před 3 lety +1

      @@robs5579 good point

    • @scorpiocara6798
      @scorpiocara6798 Před 3 lety

      @@lisam.878 good point

  • @nyeaileen
    @nyeaileen Před 3 lety +289

    Ruining a child’s life for seconds of pleasure ,a cold world we live in .

  • @aubrey44
    @aubrey44 Před 3 lety +319

    Man protect your kids.. smh. There are a lot of damn deviants in this world

    • @estherreyna9807
      @estherreyna9807 Před 3 lety +2

      who would push report on ur comment about protect ur kid???

    • @gordon3186
      @gordon3186 Před 2 lety

      *Sometimes it's your own kid that deviates from the norm. Protect them too.*

    • @skootrzworldz4297
      @skootrzworldz4297 Před 2 lety +1

      It's repulsive & in every corner of our planet.

  • @ChaoticCurlz
    @ChaoticCurlz Před 3 lety +260

    Wow. You can tell his inner struggle is so severe, even years later just trying to figure it all out, trying to cope with all the childhood trauma that has lead to more trauma.

    • @terywetherlow5980
      @terywetherlow5980 Před 3 lety +5

      I disagree Antonette jj seems at peace w. himself and matter of fact about circumstances of his life. I find that to be amazing. It certainly is a better place than the "shameville" so many of us other survivors feel trapped in. t

    • @ChaoticCurlz
      @ChaoticCurlz Před 3 lety +5

      Hey @@terywetherlow5980 , yeah maybe. But to me it’s almost seem as if he is still trying to convince himself by repeating certain things over and over again. I can only imagine how hard it is to overcome all that he has been through along with the shame, guilt and utter confusion it has caused him all his life.

    • @terywetherlow5980
      @terywetherlow5980 Před 3 lety +3

      @@ChaoticCurlz I appreciate the thought you have put into this. I do feel the trauma of dealing with my trauma. It never goes away and permeates every day of life. Tee

    • @nellymoo635
      @nellymoo635 Před 2 lety +2

      Sounds so conflicted with everything. Open but conflicted.

    • @ChaoticCurlz
      @ChaoticCurlz Před 2 lety

      @@nellymoo635 exactly. Poor guy.

  • @joulaikabuchan
    @joulaikabuchan Před 3 lety +155

    JJ - the problem my friend, was the trauma. The drugs are the coping - the sex became your normal....and you are unable to separate the two now. Work on the trauma friend.....that's where its all going to change.

  • @mariesandiego5291
    @mariesandiego5291 Před 3 lety +255

    I think Mark has a calming presence about him that makes these people want to talk about life and their life. This man is gentle and has had a hard life. I wish him continued honesty. I am sure it makes him feel free and helps him to recover. He seems to be a sweet and caring man. Wishing JJ a lot of continued peace in his life because he deserves it after the childhood abuse he suffered.

    • @LizzPaintz
      @LizzPaintz Před 3 lety +8

      Most definitely. He is a blessing and i doubt it has been easy for him. These realities are not easy for the average to face. It takes you on a journey into your own personal frailties, weaknesses, strengths and blessings.

    • @modernclassics8673
      @modernclassics8673 Před 3 lety +4

      Absolutely!

    • @wtf9599
      @wtf9599 Před 3 lety +4

      Mark has money so it makes things easier for them they don’t talk because they want to they talk because they get paid to he just records and edits it in a way that makes it seem like a natural interview

    • @terywetherlow5980
      @terywetherlow5980 Před 3 lety +8

      @@wtf9599 as a survivor i can tell you that many of us have committed to telling our stories in hopes it helps someone else. I recount free of charge.....this is the first generation to tell of this crime for most part. When i was 30 my mother revealed her sexual abuse from an uncle. I remained silent yet. I was afraid to mention her 2nd husband was molesting me would be too much for her to bear. 10 years later i confronted him when i thought perhaps not to do that was keeping me in a bad space. He of course started crowing on his end and she heard and grabbed the phone and starts yelling at me.... I pitied her. He was her sole support, so what could she do. I never spoke to her again nor my step sibs. Occasionally i'd have a beer party alone and get to the darkness and call him just for the hell if it. He turned to calling me a liar flat out. I was more hurt that he'd go to the mat on a lie rather than apologize to me. Oh well that's on him. She passed in '09 so she is out of her misery.....i only wish she had thought to mention her abuse when i was a kid. Tho that is probably as traumatic as anything.....idk Men only have to lie and
      gets away with murder. Yeah kavenaugh i am talking to you. F u

    • @wtf9599
      @wtf9599 Před 3 lety

      @@terywetherlow5980 ISNT THAT THE ONLY WAY TO BRING AWARENESS IS TALK ABOUT IT, People need to get real and stop getting offended I don’t feel bad for you but I’m glad you go through it people are shit you are stronger than you will ever know and I commend you!

  • @kimbradley5278
    @kimbradley5278 Před 3 lety +357

    Really interesting guy to listen to. Terribly sad what he's been through. Sometimes you want to wave a magic wand and take away all their pain. They never had a chance at normal, and that is so unfair.

    • @patriciamorrison8015
      @patriciamorrison8015 Před 3 lety +1

      JJ may god GUIDE YOU you are lively individual

    • @justred5164
      @justred5164 Před 3 lety

      I know so many men that never had a chance for all sorts of things. And I agree, it’s terribly sad😢 he’s a very intelligent man..

    • @mikedavis8314
      @mikedavis8314 Před rokem +1

      Life is not tasked to care about anything or anyone. You live in this world as your own risk.

  • @willowtreecenter4579
    @willowtreecenter4579 Před 3 lety +129

    I like the way he says, "you" then quickly changes it to "I". He owns his comments, heck I know many people that are a lot less aware than this man. What a gem. Hope that he can get off drugs and live his true purpose. Loads of love and compassion to him.

  • @ravenblue7805
    @ravenblue7805 Před 3 lety +160

    I love this mans’ honesty and his ability to articulate a very painful and dark reality. In spite of all the adversity he’s faced, he has lived his life with a rare grace.

  • @stephanielatrice5939
    @stephanielatrice5939 Před 3 lety +65

    I wish I had a whole lot of money. I would go to California, get Mr. JJ out of there. Get him cleaned up and bring him around people that would love him like a family should. Reconnect him with his daughter and just let him heal. He’s such a sweet soul. He seems like a professor or doctor. I get those vibes. He would be the teacher everybody loved, I can tell. Lord bless and deliver this man. Set him free from his troubles and pain. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 JJ you will be in my prayers

    • @fannymar6703
      @fannymar6703 Před 2 lety +2

      You r right. He does speak like a person of authority.

  • @gojump7
    @gojump7 Před 3 lety +192

    Heartbreaking that for this man, Skid Row is where he feels accepted. He is smart, articulate and thoughtful. It is incredibly unfortunate that his teachers or other adults around him when he was a kid did not pick up on any behaviors pointing to the abuse he endured. Maybe his life would not have been so tormented. Despite this, he seems so mild-mannered and without ill will for his circumstances.

    • @terywetherlow5980
      @terywetherlow5980 Před 3 lety +7

      This subject is relatively new in conversation. That is the part i find so mind blowing. How it continued so long because of shame which kept every survivor silent for sooo long. I think if i had come of age now, with all the horror I hear about cps failures why would a kid tell at a young age? You'd be removed from what family/devil you knew and placed in a very precarious position any-
      way. No protection for children what so ever. The child pays the price of deviants crime......shameful.

  • @cosmiccardinal3749
    @cosmiccardinal3749 Před 3 lety +159

    He has a lot of pain. He’s more collected than he thinks. He’s reflected on his behavior much more than most people driving to soccer practice in a suburban. He has the earthiness of Morgan Freeman. I pray for this man- that he be freed from his co-dependencies. I love that he said “I’d like to know who I am without the drugs.” The drugs drive his behavior.

    • @HelloWorld-lg1pz
      @HelloWorld-lg1pz Před rokem

      Actually its the seeking of dopamine floods that drives his behavior.

  • @lauraciocia6507
    @lauraciocia6507 Před 3 lety +98

    This is art. Mark, it isn't said enough, but the way you light, set and shoot your subjects is masterful. I can tell you take great care in how each person is presented - from the angles you shoot to the backdrops you select. It brings out their character and humanity in a way that so often gets lost in other contexts.

    • @NECOLEsadiah
      @NECOLEsadiah Před 3 lety +4

      ABSOLUTELY!!!! THE SAD THING is that SOME WON'T GET IT!!! AND WILL LEAVE NEGATIVE COMMENTS NOT UNDERSTANDING!! 🤦🏽‍♀❤

  • @markoembarko9045
    @markoembarko9045 Před 3 lety +197

    It's a very difficult path to walk when you've been a victim of childhood sexual abuse. I can relate to your story 100% Thank you for validating that inner child in all of us that still screams out and is still trying to understand. You're very courageous!

    • @cindyfitzgerald4500
      @cindyfitzgerald4500 Před 3 lety +12

      I just gotta tell you that you’re comment is straight up facts. You said the things that many of us don’t have the courage or know how to say it. Thank You

    • @markoembarko9045
      @markoembarko9045 Před 3 lety +6

      @@cindyfitzgerald4500 Thank you Cindy. There's a place and space in our hearts that demands healing. As a victim of childhood sexual abuse, it is a lifelong battle of HOW. The more we pull together and share our experiences, the closer we become to finding that answer. Hugs and love Cindy! 💓

    • @carolynjoy4236
      @carolynjoy4236 Před 3 lety +2

      I love your account name

    • @cindyfitzgerald4500
      @cindyfitzgerald4500 Před 3 lety +2

      @@markoembarko9045 ❤️😊

    • @cindyfitzgerald4500
      @cindyfitzgerald4500 Před 3 lety +1

      @@carolynjoy4236 I do too!

  • @ravensoddities5047
    @ravensoddities5047 Před 3 lety +161

    People cant help their issues if they dont know where it stems from.....this guy gets it! Much love🖤

    • @QuinnieMae
      @QuinnieMae Před 3 lety +6

      I agree wholeheartedly Ravens. It's amazing how self aware he is ... so very self aware. And so open with his feelings: the insecurities, the things he did and the things he felt... whether we're addicted or not, homeless or not, straight, gay or otherwise. I aim to be as open and as comfortable and as _aware_ as this gentleman. 💯♥️

    • @cheenamaynard8798
      @cheenamaynard8798 Před 3 lety +1

      Such a good point!

    • @coochiepoop8834
      @coochiepoop8834 Před 3 lety +2

      He knows exactly whats going on and keeps it💯💯

    • @suzanne1430
      @suzanne1430 Před 3 lety +5

      Wow...that's exactly my deal....I know something is going on with me but I don't know what it is...so I don't know how to fix it...😞

    • @t.bby619
      @t.bby619 Před 3 lety +5

      @@TheFisherFromEden i think they mean he's self aware. He's acknowledged his abuse and understands how it has affected the decisions he made.

  • @ayana188
    @ayana188 Před 3 lety +156

    This man could’ve gotten a PHD, he speaks like a professor or an DR💙

  • @1Candysweets
    @1Candysweets Před 3 lety +203

    He doesn't sound like he's from skid row; he speaks so well, sounds like a professor.

    • @scorpiocara6798
      @scorpiocara6798 Před 3 lety +27

      People from skid row are from every where though. You could even be there or need up there. Anyone could. It sounds like you it sounds like everyone

    • @yourloveriswild7533
      @yourloveriswild7533 Před 3 lety +1

      Exactly!!!

    • @oliveangekms
      @oliveangekms Před 3 lety +16

      Sounds like you don’t know much about the unhoused living in skid row

    • @divalova34
      @divalova34 Před 3 lety +16

      He's not from Skid Row. He wasn't born there. He just so happens to reside there.

    • @adrianakessler384
      @adrianakessler384 Před 3 lety +1

      Look up the crime story about a professional ⚽️ soccer player passing sandwiches out to homeless people who solved a murder in Philadelphia-I believe the player’s name was Bruckner. Anyways, there was a professor sounding homeless man he was involved with-very interesting case. I don’t want to spill the beans, but you should watch it. It is one that stuck with me. Anyways, the soccer player grew fond of this well spoken man that turned out not so wonderful; however, I am thinking of Morgan Freeman so far a minute into his story.😉🤣

  • @cynthiashaw9668
    @cynthiashaw9668 Před 3 lety +61

    This is the SADDEST thing that could happen to a beautiful soul.
    I'm so freaked out & sad.

    • @terywetherlow5980
      @terywetherlow5980 Před 3 lety +4

      Cynthia Shaw: for us "survivors" life is our best achievement somehow. Despair is a constant companion....mainly for other people's situations. We are stuck here. No cure only coping.

    • @gabrieller.9859
      @gabrieller.9859 Před 3 lety +3

      I agree. I can’t stop thinking about him after watching his interviews. I just want to fix his broken soul. Breaks me to the core thinking about him as a innocent beautiful little boy being robbed of his dignity and childhood.

  • @Lindy.T
    @Lindy.T Před 3 lety +33

    Another excellent interview. He rolled out his whole life story and explained himself, yet hid it from his wife and his fellow prisoners yet told the the whole world in 30 minutes. You have a knack for letting them SPEAK, Mark. Blessings.

    • @k_roc200-32
      @k_roc200-32 Před 3 lety +2

      It must be therapeutic for them. Imagine holding a secret because you're so ashamed but needing to tell it in order to heal. He needs someone to just listen

  • @lorchid23
    @lorchid23 Před 2 lety +78

    Watch your children like a HAWK. Don’t trust anybody to have your children’s well-being in mind, while you’re not around.
    The older I get, the more I truly understand that the world is full of child predators.

    • @kp8174
      @kp8174 Před 2 lety +7

      Agree! I’ll add to NEVER allow anyone, even people you’ve known for many years to live on your property. Not just in your house, which is an absolute no no but don’t even let them on your property. We learned this the hard way and now my entire family is suffering. Completely destroyed us all…such betrayal.

    • @lorchid23
      @lorchid23 Před 2 lety +8

      @@kp8174 - Absolutely. Unless it’s your parents or siblings, (and even in THAT circumstance, it’s not 💯) treat your children as though they’re a hunted commodity. Never, ever relax.

    • @lorchid23
      @lorchid23 Před 2 lety +4

      Ever.

    • @marquitashiver6141
      @marquitashiver6141 Před rokem +3

      U are so right. What I'm learning is that 9/10 people want to mess with and ruin children. Just sick. I will never understand that.

    • @marquitashiver6141
      @marquitashiver6141 Před rokem

      @@kp8174 amen! Sorry about what you and your family are going through 🙏🏽

  • @Char_Is_Matic
    @Char_Is_Matic Před 3 lety +33

    This man has such a heightened sense of self, and such a heightened sense of circumstance. God bless this man and I wish him the world. The sky is the limit if he really applies his wisdom in the right direction.

  • @kwoodson4232
    @kwoodson4232 Před 3 lety +44

    A shame what damaged sick demonic individuals will put/do to children. I appreciate this man abd his truth. May he find peace&heal from his past hurt. 🙏

  • @dp6970
    @dp6970 Před 3 lety +35

    This mans mind is still very sharp. I hope he finds the strength to change before it’s too late. ❤️🙏🏽

  • @jennifers508
    @jennifers508 Před 3 lety +165

    Love this guy's honesty.

    • @flowerpeddler8306
      @flowerpeddler8306 Před 3 lety

      Mark, are you sane? And if so..how?

    • @skitzoblanco3036
      @skitzoblanco3036 Před 2 lety

      He willingly engages in sexual acts with other males but say he ain't g@y
      That ain't honesty

  • @beckwil0852
    @beckwil0852 Před 3 lety +22

    This man is so articulate and intelligent. I wish he could get help. He comes across as such a gentle soul.

  • @nurseanastasialiberty
    @nurseanastasialiberty Před 3 lety +68

    We can all learn something valuable from JJ. I appreciate his openness, honesty, and courage. He truly speaks from the heart. No one should ever have to experience trauma. Pain and suffering are difficult truths of existence that we face. If we aren't aware of what goes on, we cannot make changes.

  • @DanielleFoster.
    @DanielleFoster. Před 3 lety +54

    "Is it right or is it wrong"
    The ol human struggle.
    I like this dude. I'm glad that today was a day he didn't mind talking about his life.
    I wonder what happened to his wife, what her reaction really was and what happened to their relationship because of his lifestyle.

  • @denamullen340
    @denamullen340 Před 3 lety +264

    Heavenly Father please remove the evil and demons from this man in Jesus name. Amen. Four years sober today. We do recover. Sending love 💗

    • @QuinnieMae
      @QuinnieMae Před 3 lety +9

      Why do you think Heavenly Father makes minor children sick with disease Heavenly Father doesn't heal? You know, thinks like none cancer. Bone cancer is prevalent in children. And it's horrifyingly painful. Or something like Metastatic Neuroblastoma: why on earth would Heavenly Father allow this cancer, which is prominently a _childhood_ cancer, and roughly 70% fatal in the _toddlers_ who are unlucky enough to have it?

    • @MargeryHannah
      @MargeryHannah Před 3 lety +12

      @ Spotted Elephant Touching and agreeing in the mighty name of Jesus.

    • @meadowyj
      @meadowyj Před 3 lety +13

      @@QuinnieMae God didn't do those things. He says nothing evil comes from Him. If you dont believe me, you do not understand, and you should read the Bible if you want to understand. I will say no more.

    • @QuinnieMae
      @QuinnieMae Před 3 lety +4

      @@meadowyj God created children. If he can do that he can make them well. God heals many things in the bible. Perhaps you and the good book need to get reacquainted.

    • @denamullen340
      @denamullen340 Před 3 lety +7

      @@QuinnieMae I believe in a higher power. Idk the answers to your questions. I just know this is temporary.

  • @combivan4346
    @combivan4346 Před 3 lety +25

    He reminds me of Morgan Freeman, his demeanour, his speech patterns and voice and the calmly way he talks.

    • @ericl3931
      @ericl3931 Před 2 lety

      But mainly because he is old and black, right?

    • @combivan4346
      @combivan4346 Před 2 lety +1

      E Well they do have that in common. So really, you are saying all old black men speak the same?

    • @combivan4346
      @combivan4346 Před 2 lety +1

      He didn't remind me of Danny Glover, Laurance Fishburne, Forest Whitaker, Denzel Washington, Sydney Poitier, Billy Dee Williams, Bill Cosby, Ice T, Harry Belafonte, James Earl Jones, Redd Foxx, Steve Harvey, Ossie Davis, John Amos......the list goes on, don't really know what you are trying to get at with your statement??

    • @sharonjimenez8097
      @sharonjimenez8097 Před 2 lety +1

      Nope. Reminds me NOTHING of Mr.Morgan...chill tf out.

  • @sii9423
    @sii9423 Před 3 lety +129

    Wow when he speaks about all his sexual experiences, and then says "I don't know if I liked it, but the drugs help it..." Seems as if the void is still strong after the fact, but him partaking in his escapades is his way of trying to understand what he doesn't understand in regards to what "sex" should be or is. I totally empathize with him on that. I too find sex a confusing subject even though it's literally plastered everywhere in everything reminding me of what it is but not what it should be in a healthy way..... Crazy.

    • @terywetherlow5980
      @terywetherlow5980 Před 3 lety +8

      s ii i can relate to what ur saying......i am 65 and it just became even more confusing to me in the ways of sex. It seems like Sodom and Gomorrah, no?

    • @sii9423
      @sii9423 Před 3 lety +1

      @@terywetherlow5980 someone close to me had that exact thought.... And idk it does seem like that, but I can't say for sure.

    • @Emorydawn830
      @Emorydawn830 Před 3 lety +2

      Beautifully spoken.

    • @DevonahBlackwellT.I.
      @DevonahBlackwellT.I. Před 3 lety +1

      I think he's blaming the drugs for things he's not comfortable admitting he likes to engage in & likely would do sober. But I do agree that child molesters ruin their victims. I just hope this dude hasn't victimized others.

    • @pangeleta1967
      @pangeleta1967 Před 3 lety +3

      @@terywetherlow5980 yes, it does. In fact, the WHOLE WORLD has an underbelly of debasedness, vulgar child abuse and everything goes. Imagine how God feels about the world today if He felt such disgust about Sodom & Gomorrah in ancient times.
      I am in no way disparaging this man. He has something THRUST upon him as a child and he’s really struggling. I can clearly see it. I understand it as I was molested as a child. I only told someone fairly recently at the age of 40.
      Fortunately, I grew up Jehovah’s Witness and Bible principles REALLY saved me and changed the trajectory of my life. I was never promiscuous nor did I have a slew of children out of wedlock. I am 20 years married to a wonderfully loving man. Jehovah God’s words and Bible principles SAVED ME. I came of age at the height of the crack pandemic and so many young girls of that era went completely opposite. I could have did the same but not for my Wonderful Great God, Jehovah by means of Christ Jesus’ ransom sacrifice in MY behalf❣️😢😭♥️

  • @Goodmorningmg
    @Goodmorningmg Před 3 lety +13

    I was raised in a sheltered environment. I’m still young but poverty and effects of addiction and trauma, are things i’ve never had to worry about in my childhood.
    Many people have the perception that people end up in these positions because of ignorance or stupidity, like this is something they brought upon themselves. It’s always important to keep your own life in perspective, you never know someone’s story until you sit down and speak to them, never judge harshly.

  • @specialk5579
    @specialk5579 Před 3 lety +111

    The Dark vile secrets of child sexual abuse run deep and become Dark vile secrets of adult sexual liaisons SAD 😔

    • @dizmop
      @dizmop Před 3 lety +22

      Abuse affects so many of us in so many different ways, some lead lives of sexual depravity that is in alignment with what they know to be normal, I would guess that most sex workers, escorts, porn actors, pornographers, prostitutes, serial killers, rapists, paedophiles have all been victims of some kind of child abuse, be it sexual, mental or physical abuse. it seems more unusual to find someone who hasn't been affected, I have, have you...?

    • @specialk5579
      @specialk5579 Před 3 lety +13

      @@dizmop No i was fortunate to not of had such monsters in my family and we couldn't stay with people growing up so that was one of the safety decisions my parents instilled in us as we as brothers and sisters do not allow our children to stay or b up in peoples homes cause the monsters run deep GOD hearing these stories i thank my parents in memoriam so much as i pray and i let no one watch my grandkids BUT ME theyre innocence is what God blessed us with as children so that must not b destroyed

    • @freetobree5323
      @freetobree5323 Před 3 lety +10

      @@dizmop I haven’t but sometimes I feel like I have because it happened to my mother and she never got any justice, her family (our family) did nothing.. Looking back I think she was jealous nothing like that happened to me, I mean there was plenty of opportunities, my mom has always been very promiscuous looking for love over her own kids. She would say such awful, horrific things to me, body shame me..I still can’t walk past a group of “grown men” (I’m like 30 btw lol) without feeling like “I hope nobody thinks I’m trying to seduce them.
      It felt like she hated us honestly..

    • @dizmop
      @dizmop Před 3 lety +7

      ​@@freetobree5323 well there you have it, unfortunately some abuse is so insidious we don't notice it, it's not always an easily identifiable, overt act like sexual abuse or violence. as I get older I'm starting to see trauma as part of the human condition and how we deal with it is almost our mission. It seems if most of us can be honest, with a little bit of digging in the past we can find some form of abuse that is negatively affecting us in our present. You are still young plenty of time to work on your self till you can walk past a group of men and not think twice. Ultimately what people think of you is their business, not yours .....

    • @zeonamiller5356
      @zeonamiller5356 Před 3 lety +3

      @@freetobree5323 maybe she wasn’t jealous and was just speaking to you about how she view herself !! Abuse would do that .

  • @kylemchynn9376
    @kylemchynn9376 Před 3 lety +42

    Articulate delivery with grace. dignity and honesty. Love and regards.

  • @trinidazzlinghenry4562
    @trinidazzlinghenry4562 Před 3 lety +26

    He drew me in, what a presence. I admire him tremendously for his honesty and accountability. But there is much more to him than what happened in his past...he is so strong. I see a Titan.....

    • @oneway5006
      @oneway5006 Před 3 lety

      That devil on him badand he knows it

    • @ericl3931
      @ericl3931 Před 2 lety

      You’re right. There is something about him

  • @mychejonze9032
    @mychejonze9032 Před 3 lety +20

    KIDS NEVER FORGET.AND LATER ON IN LIFE YOU START TO REMEMBER

  • @noraplymouth229
    @noraplymouth229 Před 3 lety +15

    Hi, I know you won't be reading this, but I just want to put this into the universe, I know somehow you'll feel it.
    Thankyou, thankyou so much. I'm going through similar things and I've always been so broken over the fact that I didn't tell my parents. You gave me closure, in a way.
    Thankyou. I'll sleep a little more peacefully tonight.

  • @martybob55
    @martybob55 Před 2 lety +14

    Even if you find that you are gay.. you’re still deserving of healthy, consensual relationships. Whatever our gender or preference.. we don’t deserve this. The pain is emotional and psychological and physical. You are deserving of love and I hope you find sobriety and a sense of pride and peace.

    • @HelloWorld-lg1pz
      @HelloWorld-lg1pz Před rokem

      They all suffered sex abuse has children. It cant be normalized. Only abusers normalize distortions.

  • @riyadh_reprise
    @riyadh_reprise Před 3 lety +63

    Such a beautiful man

  • @dirtypatwalsh
    @dirtypatwalsh Před 3 lety +25

    Mannn...Mark you are legend for this channel. Thank you for all you do with these interviews.
    JJ is a man I can relate with in a way. I’ve recently been starting to talk about my childhood experiences and what the aftermath is...it can be so hard. Thanks for giving a voice to these folks. I’d love to see the full portraits of your people here. The backgrounds you use are stunning as well.

  • @lisam.878
    @lisam.878 Před 3 lety +55

    My biggest wish is to turn the dial back to zero and start all over with a new nurturing life

    • @ravenblue7805
      @ravenblue7805 Před 3 lety +2

      Lisa Mitch. Mine too.

    • @mscherrybear6400
      @mscherrybear6400 Před 3 lety +3

      He makes me feel like I want to go back with him to his childhood and protect him from any kinda abuse. I have a lot of empathy for him....

    • @TheAries414
      @TheAries414 Před 3 lety

      It aint easy people on here make it seem it so easy even with therapy its not easy ........you feel everyone is talking about you, you feel the negative energy, you dont trust people not even family, your somewhat antisocial, anger issues, suicide thoughts ,........your scarred for life. Even when you pray , from time to time you get those emotions that come back......i understand exactly what hes going through

    • @IamaDanish
      @IamaDanish Před 2 lety

      Same! I really wish my life was just a computer game that I could just quit and start over. We don't get to pick our parents though - at least I don't think we do.

  • @abouttime94
    @abouttime94 Před 2 lety +12

    I have so many questions that I need answered:
    Did his family ever see the interview and how did they react?
    How many times has he been married?
    Was he approached by other inmates for sex in prison?
    If so, how did he maintain?
    I hope Mark does a follow up. This needs to be an HBO Series or something and I want to be an interviewer/therapist.

  • @jessicanicole4957
    @jessicanicole4957 Před 3 lety +15

    I notice people react different when it’s a man being sexually abused but smh

  • @sentb5744
    @sentb5744 Před 3 lety +27

    Someone is already learning from your story. Thank you for sharing.

    • @ethelbentancourt4251
      @ethelbentancourt4251 Před 3 lety

      Its helping me thanks so much May through September are the hardest for me!! Even if it happened many -many years ago you never ever forget anything can trigger those golden yrs ago a good ear helps

    • @danetspeaks8708
      @danetspeaks8708 Před 3 lety +1

      🙏🏾

  • @bambii9620
    @bambii9620 Před 3 lety +38

    this man is so beautiful

  • @richardjones4368
    @richardjones4368 Před 3 lety +41

    And it really hurts when your brother specifically your older brother tells you that you're just looking for someone to blame your problems on.
    My entire family has rejected me because of my childhood abuse which was not my fault and they refuse to acknowledge it that refused to admit that there was s*** happening in the family it wasn't the immediate family but it was pretty damn close. That's what hurts like hell. When your family rejects you for something that happened to you that was not your fault that's like animals they're all animals pretending to be humans.

    • @ravenblue7805
      @ravenblue7805 Před 3 lety +4

      Richard Jones. I hear you. It’s a pain that runs so deeply. The very people who should have protected you and loved you without condition, failed to do the least they could do. I’m so sorry this happened to you....it happened to me, too.

    • @trinidazzlinghenry4562
      @trinidazzlinghenry4562 Před 3 lety +3

      Sending love and light...

    • @ethelbentancourt4251
      @ethelbentancourt4251 Před 3 lety +1

      Amen especially if they're one of them/ with other family members

    • @ethelbentancourt4251
      @ethelbentancourt4251 Před 3 lety +3

      I believe you!! I didn't start talking until I was 31 yrs old my rape started at 7 yrs old thank AA I lived on 5th street for while a long time ago I know what you're saying and what he means you feel like you belong

    • @trbouwie
      @trbouwie Před 3 lety +1

      Richard Jones.. I too understand I was done the same way started at the age of 7/8 and didn’t say anything till I was like 31... 🤦🏽‍♀️ I’m still trying to get over it but it’s soooo hard to forget the memories that pop up in your head from them demons.... Sad but God!!!!🙏🏾 bless you

  • @pangeleta1967
    @pangeleta1967 Před 3 lety +8

    My heart ACHES for his deep internal pain and the terribly wounded mistreated little boy inside of a man’s body💔😢😭

  • @mariaglover4202
    @mariaglover4202 Před 3 lety +21

    It really is amazing exactly how much healing power there is in releasing your story. Not just for the speaker but also for the listener. There's much in my past that I've surprisingly received healing from simply by hearing other people's stories (that have gone through the same thing) at a time when I was too weak to acknowledge any of my own. Love your work, Mark. Your Mind is absolutely brilliant!

  • @theresamartinez2307
    @theresamartinez2307 Před 3 lety +13

    JJ is super likable and honest and speaks his truth. I personally identify with his thought processes and the way he goes about mapping them out. Really would like to hear more from him in the future.

  • @johncamp7679
    @johncamp7679 Před 3 lety +27

    It all starts when we’re children and we develop lie based beliefs about ourselves. Until you can shine a light of truth on that, you will continue to suffer.

  • @BeautyQueenFL
    @BeautyQueenFL Před 2 lety +6

    The county/state needs to set up a dual diagnosis program to treat underlying issues which lead to drug addiction and homelessness. The cycle needs to end now. Thank you Mark for all your dedication and hard work in shedding light on these abuse victims shattered lives. What is your Venmo?

  • @rowstone3019
    @rowstone3019 Před 3 lety +14

    It grows on your mind as you get older" PTSD

  • @aremnant3937
    @aremnant3937 Před 3 lety +13

    His honesty is refreshing.

  • @jusrarsh4109
    @jusrarsh4109 Před 2 lety +3

    *As a man. I don’t know if I could survive his childhood without running away or seriously injuring someone permanently. God bless this dude for the strength to keep it pushing out here. Smh

  • @santi7470
    @santi7470 Před 2 lety +3

    We love you JJ. This is your lifes purpose- you are helping thousands of people telling your story. You are awesome!!

  • @shannajones573
    @shannajones573 Před 2 lety +2

    I respect his honesty and disposition. One thing I’ve noticed watching these videos is the emptiness I’m the eyes. Makes me sad. Very educational.

  • @sheilaspaulding8812
    @sheilaspaulding8812 Před 3 lety +3

    Mark you deserve countless awards and monetary awards for all that you do!! You need to be recognized, appreciated and praised!! Thank you thank you for all you do🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @Dorothyredshz
    @Dorothyredshz Před 3 lety +3

    " people labeling me and not really knowing me " .... Love his wisdom . God bless you ...stay safe .

  • @kristinagerson9831
    @kristinagerson9831 Před 3 lety +23

    The photo is marvelous. I would love to be photographed by you. You bring out everyone’s best.

  • @ashleyengle5149
    @ashleyengle5149 Před 3 lety +22

    He is so well spoken. My heart hurts for him. ❤

  • @TerinaHeidelberg
    @TerinaHeidelberg Před 3 lety

    Thank you for sharing a part of your story! You are living out your vision. Hope to hear more from you.

  • @lilaworley8935
    @lilaworley8935 Před 3 lety +47

    You're a beautiful person. You've been fighting fires your entire life. 🔥
    "Family dysfunction rolls down from generation to generation, like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children that follow." - T Real

    • @JillianClaireRox
      @JillianClaireRox Před 3 lety +1

      Love that quote.

    • @lilaworley8935
      @lilaworley8935 Před 3 lety +1

      @@JillianClaireRox I love it too. It's an important message for our world.
      I just wish I didn't need to share it on every interview. So many broken children. 💔

    • @JillianClaireRox
      @JillianClaireRox Před 3 lety +2

      @@lilaworley8935 I hear you. That phrase just really spoke to me. I could definitely apply it to my family's generations! Yes, an unGodly amount of innocence stolen.

    • @gabriellekelly3462
      @gabriellekelly3462 Před 3 lety +1

      Wow 👏 😮

    • @PhoenixProdLLC
      @PhoenixProdLLC Před 3 lety +2

      The bad part though is that often it's the dysfunctional family members who claim to be breaking a cycle when they're really a part of it going on at all.

  • @solcituns
    @solcituns Před 3 lety +10

    Would love to give you some comfort JJ, I'm so sorry for the way this world has treated you.

  • @suzanneanderson6921
    @suzanneanderson6921 Před 3 lety +7

    JJ, good to see you again. I just feel in my heart that you sharing your experiences so openly is going to help someone out there. Best wishes, always. Take care.

  • @madeleinesnijders1332
    @madeleinesnijders1332 Před 3 lety +12

    What a wonderful pure soul that man has. I hope you guys can help and give him the life he deserves

  • @rayrenati416
    @rayrenati416 Před 3 lety +9

    This is fascinating in so many levels. I am shocked by how incredibly insightful so many of these people are about themselves and life. I don’t think I will ever walk past another homeless person again without wondering what inedible story lies behind.

    • @jessicazepeda9516
      @jessicazepeda9516 Před 3 lety

      👍

    • @ethelbentancourt4251
      @ethelbentancourt4251 Před 3 lety +2

      Pain we must trust whom we're speaking too so we can help others escape the guilt shame and fear that you're used material

  • @SimplyMilli
    @SimplyMilli Před 3 lety +39

    He's intelligent

    • @Dusty_Den
      @Dusty_Den Před 2 lety

      @@colleenprue5312 damn, almost 400 comments lol you're real bright too huh

  • @debraparker1693
    @debraparker1693 Před 3 lety +15

    Wow, I love this guy. Honesty at its finest. I would read his book. Very interesting dude. I wish you all the best in your life.

  • @christar505
    @christar505 Před 3 lety +6

    I like his inner reflection. He wonders about his own actions. There seems to be some acceptance there as well. He also knows that telling his story may help others who may feel like they're alone in all this and perhaps they'll learn. Thank you sir.

  • @LeceeMonet
    @LeceeMonet Před 3 lety +6

    I can’t believe anyone would say he’s just bi sexual. Is it a coincidence that he was violated in a specific way as a child & it continually came about by different people under the age of 18 & later ??? NO. That’s not because he’s bisexual, he DID NOT get to choose. It’s because we have a spirit. His spirit was altered when he was violated. Spirits know spirits & he experienced that along with so many people on this channel. God please cleanse his spirit & restore him to a time before the wicked free will of man violated him so he may go on to be the light that shines in these dark places. In Jesus mighty name!

  • @turbosnail159
    @turbosnail159 Před 3 lety +32

    Hurt people Hurt people unfortunetely

  • @11940ful
    @11940ful Před 3 lety +6

    Wow!!! Reminder to be kind always to people you encounter. You never know what they are dealing with.

  • @pudddingpie
    @pudddingpie Před 3 lety +24

    I hope you find peace with who you are ❤️
    I understand why they say something he has star quality he is giving me that 1920 grace that you see in old movies, your not ment to be on Skid row JJ, I keep visioning you sitting on a veranda living good. I wish you the bestxxxxx

  • @johanrehnstrom1274
    @johanrehnstrom1274 Před 3 lety

    Thank you so much for doing a follow up on JJ, Mark!
    And thank you to JJ for the honesty. Telling it like it is!
    Much love ❤

  • @Monica-yu2wd
    @Monica-yu2wd Před 3 lety +2

    my heart goes out to this man. this is what unresolved trauma can stem into. we never know the outcomes of what our sexual assault can bring, whether good or bad it is not our fault. hes so conflicted inside of himself, he knows when he likes things and when he doesn’t, but when he doesn’t he still chooses to go through with it, it breaks my heart because he’s gotten stuck into a cycle, he doesn’t know what he’s doing is right or wrong, all of the actions he chooses stem from only what he knows- which is trauma and sexual abuse. he doesn’t know about hyper sexuality and how survivors use it as a coping mechanism. my heart just goes out to him. i hope one day the doors will open for him and he will be able to truly meet his soul and stand in what he truly wants, likes, and needs and to stand in showing up for himself unapologetically. it is sad how just bc of our demeanor of being calm, quiet, and chill can make us prey to evil people in the world. i pray one day he can stand up for himself and for his inner child. you can tell he so badly wants help, he’s open to it, he just needs the resources. i pray he receives clarity one day and is safe from all the evil in LA 🙏

  • @spectraamunari9059
    @spectraamunari9059 Před 3 lety +1

    His insight and honesty is touching. My heart breaks for his inner turmoil and the trauma he’s experienced.

  • @nikkistuteville3172
    @nikkistuteville3172 Před 23 dny +1

    Such a well spoken man, kind and again just a horrific childhood. absolutely Heartbreaking

  • @claudettemccoy2120
    @claudettemccoy2120 Před 3 lety +3

    Amazing job JJ, I truly enjoyed you sharing your story with us. Thank you .

  • @ravensoddities5047
    @ravensoddities5047 Před 3 lety +25

    I absolutely love hearing the older folks stories....... They make you understand and feel their emotions while story telling! 🖤 good luck and prayers for you!

  • @letisrt
    @letisrt Před 3 lety +5

    always mesmerised by JJ's intelligence... may life bring you better experiences, health, peace, love and joy. love you 💜

  • @monkeypot7641
    @monkeypot7641 Před 3 lety +8

    Mark....that portrait/photograph of JJ is an Award all by itself...
    You are the master blaster..and that story...well now ....smh!!!

  • @GaminGawdess
    @GaminGawdess Před 3 lety +2

    JJ has such an eloquencent air with a beautiful voice. What a soothing delivery of the horrors of the streets.

  • @Linda-M.
    @Linda-M. Před rokem +1

    Fascinating speaker ....what a story....he's so intelligent ....I hope he finds peace....he deserves it

  • @leilacherradi3485
    @leilacherradi3485 Před 2 lety +1

    This man is so articulate, he has got his mind working well after ALL the abuses he went through. This is so enlightening as to what happens to abuse survivors... God bless him.

  • @K3yBladeMast3r
    @K3yBladeMast3r Před 2 lety +1

    His energy is weirdly peaceful. He's accepted all he's gone through, speaking about his experiences so matter of fact.

  • @serfthisluv
    @serfthisluv Před 3 lety

    Very honest and well spoken person. I pray that you find your happiness.

  • @jeanscott5854
    @jeanscott5854 Před 3 lety +25

    You’re very smart get in rehab tell your story it’s not to late keep god in your heart🙏🏾

  • @BJInn
    @BJInn Před 3 lety +9

    Great story. Wish him all the best. Such a lovely man.

  • @lisad9376
    @lisad9376 Před 3 lety +7

    Thank you for sharing! ❤️

  • @sacralbutterfly
    @sacralbutterfly Před 3 lety +7

    Tell JJ thanks for sharing his story. SO sad he had to hold that horrible secret for so long. 😭

  • @glendaeast9362
    @glendaeast9362 Před 3 lety +6

    When he talked about the atmosphere downtown and is it just the norm . No , my friend , that's the evil that has disguised itself as normal .

  • @calleborjesson3023
    @calleborjesson3023 Před 3 lety +3

    You dont have to feel shame or pride. Not about forgiveness or anger. It is about understanding where you come from. And where other people come from.

  • @sarahmeecham6654
    @sarahmeecham6654 Před 3 lety +8

    I like his humility. This guy is a rare soul.🙏🏽❤️

    • @purplepheasant4776
      @purplepheasant4776 Před 2 lety

      He needs antidepressants and therapy. He is beating himself up because he doesn't think he deserves better or that is all he is for. Very sad.

  • @stacyyoust
    @stacyyoust Před 3 lety +3

    Man needs confidence in what his convictions are. Reminds me of a saying; Gotta stand for something or you'll fall for anything."

  • @MissLady-pq4hc
    @MissLady-pq4hc Před 3 lety +1

    Such a great interview. I so hope he finds peace.And some real happiness.🌟🌟🌟💙💙🙂

  • @shamimtemour
    @shamimtemour Před 3 lety +1

    He did do a great job, honest and thought provoking ❤️

  • @DulceItalianaMafia865
    @DulceItalianaMafia865 Před 2 lety +2

    Your very brave. Growing up my "father's" ways made me believe sex was the only way to be loved. I'm glad I was able to get past that part of me to value my whole being and can understand my why and why I will never again be that broken inside.🙌

  • @Torenko
    @Torenko Před 3 lety +5

    Held my attention the whole time, hopefully there's a follow-up.