I Thought THIS Would Make Me Happy (What Now?)
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- čas přidán 23. 02. 2023
- On today’s show, we hear about:
- A new mom struggling with communication issues in her marriage
- A man with way too much time on his hands after recently getting sober
- A young woman who’s felt alone and unhappy as long as she can remember
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This first young lady is definitely a product of childhood trauma AND social media narcissism. I feel for her because she is holding herself and therefore her husband to an impossible standard. Social media is just a lie, you can’t be ANYTHING all the time.
What is social media narcissism?
@@redzin8818 Jordan Peterson recently did a great discussion on what he terms as social media narcissism. Essentially what social media has resulted in… sorry I’m not a very articulate person… just check Jordan Peterson’s channel the video is titled something about the rise in narcissism, social media, and pornography.
A lot of young ladies are falling into this. And the guy is working full time and a side hustle that he's passionate about she says. Sounds like a guy with a vision for a better future, and With a new baby. He's tired, lol. And if a woman only ever coming from what she wants, it's exhausting and disappointing. The guy finally said he needs a break. He's not going to constantly jump through hoops for her. She doesn't think she nags, lol.
Spot on!!!
@MijoShrek
While I'm not on her side because her vision of the 'power couple' is kinda dumb, what do you mean he's not going to jump through hoops for her? 🤣 She literally birthed his child. He needs to do something at least equivalent.
I was abused as a kid like the first caller. You go out into the world not knowing what you want, but having no trust. So you look at others to see what is acceptable. Still, she has no trust in herself, thus the controlling behavior and the list, and no real trust in others that they can be good to you. I hope she learns to trust. It will free her.
She seems like a nice young lady, I think they'll be ok. Dr John has really gotten good at giving advice on the phone, I've watched him from the beginning. Such a good guy.
She lost me at “wanting to be a power couple”. Probably for the gram.
Yes, I see this a LOT with young people who have essentially been raised on Facebook, instagram, and the like. I have 9 kids ranging from 24 to 10, and I have seen this in more young women than not lately.
I'm in San Antonio too Jacob if u read this and need a friend I'm here
I love his advice to the first caller. It brings reality to her situation. The people we love and those who choose to participate in our lives, we cannot boss them around. I hope she has accountability and awareness of how she can hurt her spouse
First caller wants a social media marriage
Yep. My husband and I both decided we didn't want to have a sm marriage. We don't mind taking pictures to look back on wonderful experiences but our lives are for us. We don't live it for other people.
I agree. I think if she took a break from social media for a while it would help her stop comparing.
I’m so grateful for the callers.
Hearing their issues helps me count my blessings when my own issues seems overwhelming.
Thank you for your courage, Brave Souls! May you soon find the wisdom, guidance, and peace you seek so solutions to any problems begin to present themselves or emerge almost as soon as the problems do so your life can feel filled with blessings, too. You deserve the very best for you.
Agreed! It takes guts.
She certainly drew up one hell of a marriage in her head.. Lol
Right? She basically decided what kind of life she wanted and tried to fit him in the picture.
What other conclusion could a young girl come to when they’re raised by Facebook and the like?
I relate to the last young lady. I'm a writer. I examine everything in my life using my experiences to tell a story in songs or my novels. It's an emotional need to express my feelings and thoughts. Keep on writing!!!
You can hear the lightbulb turning on in the voice of that first caller. She sounds committed to change.
I thought she was faking the ahh, ahhs.
That bit about "chasing happiness/chasing not feeling bad" 😭😭 well done yet again Dr. John
Doctor John brought me to tears today. Thank you Dr. John.
Thank you for giving this new society hope and love.
Love your show. You give awesome advice.
Nice MLM diss, doctor D!! You’re rad!😊
I am so glad the Dr. shut down all that giggling. I was annoyed just listening. I broke out laughing when he said don't read the CZcams comments 😅
Here I am reading the comments. 😅 And I bet the callers do too.
Jacob I found working out helps but it's a lifestyle change not a time killer you got this buddy LFG
Lmao. John calling out the pastors was gold.
GOLD!!!
Sometimes we don't always interpret the pastor's message quite the way they intended it.
Perfect timing! Two days ago I realized what I struggling with was how to navigate the new territory after making some much needed changes and healing. There's so much focus on addressing issues, behaviors, and beliefs - so important -- but we also need support on how to move forward and create new ways after healing (otherwise we just revert back to old ways). I'm so thankful to have found you John and your show!
The Spice Girls lyrics have me in tears laughing! 😂
I need someone to walk along side me this season
This episode was so good❤
Sounds like the first caller is attending a works based, prosperity gospel, earn your way into the cool club church. Been there, unfortunately did that and never bought into certain things so never was part of the cool club of “super Christians.”
Got so much more freedom in a gospel centered, peaceful Bible based small church. No one is part of a “power couple” many people and especially leaders actively state their imperfect nature, display humility, recognize their own need for Jesus and- I don’t know how to describe it- people aren’t categorized into “good Christians” and “power Christians” and “just an attendee” or “not in the cool club.”
So, so, so much peace when we learned (and are still learning) that we can rest in God. We don’t have to perform to be loved. He doesn’t need us, our inability to be perfect doesn’t hurt Him or His plan.
"If you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my friends" 🎶 🇬🇧
I had to do a double-take on Jacob. My son is a Jacob, and a 43 year old hard core quart of whiskey a day alcoholic. His kids are 21 and 17. His 17 year old son has always been his caretaker. I'm afraid for all of them every single day.
I'm with the husband, after listening to her for a few minutes, I'm sick and tired of her too. 😆
I think Jacob from San Antonio was really Ray Ramano!
"Use your words" is common among teachers!
For the “killing time” caller: write in a journal (or a computer, if you prefer). It’s not stressful and it allows you to get your thoughts out and who knows? Maybe if you can compile and publish a book from your writings, you’ll be able to help others. Potentially thousands, but even if you only help one person avoid drinking and thereby prevent a drunk driving accident, you could save lives. I would buy a book about overcoming challenges like drinking.
To be fair to the pastor. That's probably not the full advice she was given( raise the standard by being the best) That's what she heard.
That first caller. Her husband works so hard to provide for her to be able to stay home and raise their daughter and she has a LIST for the guy??? She’s ungrateful and delusional and needs to get off social media, AND start appreciating her husband !!!She owes him an apology!! And she needs to read the comments so she can be humbled .
"I gave him a list of what I want"... There is your problem right there. It's all about you, not the marriage. Shows you didn't care about what he wanted, just you.
For all the men out there, if your lady says she wants to be a "power couple" run until your legs fall off. Ladies, if you want to be in a power couple, get used to kitty litter on subscription.
She is young she will learn ...
I give up on this channel. People call for help and they get slammed.
Or, you can pay for therapy for a year or two to get to exactly the same point. The point that all those around you can see within 10 minutes of meeting you. I prefer the kind but direct approach.
Do you think therapy is to say things that make you feel good? Direct truth is the way people get better and learn.
@@nicolestanford4955 There's difference between a correction and a slam. This was not therapy. This was John losing it on a caller.
Philippians 4:11
Power couple? REALLY?? Meanwhile she probably earns minimum wage. 🤦🏻♀️
Wish now that I wouldn't have been a time killing loner for 60+ years
Im like this woman, the difference is that im not married yet. My question is, if you do not state your requirements, how are your needs gonna get met?
Also isnt having things you looking for called compatability? Can someone explain
Her list weren’t needs, they were wants. Big difference. I need a car. I want a Lamborghini.
I've been married to the same wonderful man for 33 years. All I can tell you is that if you go into a marriage expecting your partner to fulfill all your "needs", or you to fill all theirs, you will be sadly disappointed.
Because getting to know someone is a process, not a list of ideals to be checked off.
The issue is that you can't guarantee a good relationship by ticking enough things off of a checklist. Also, her conceptualization of what makes a good couple is fundamentally flawed. She thinks that if her partner or her relationship fit a certain idea in her mind that it will be a good relationship. But, good relationships can look many different ways from the outside. The box-ticking approach is also flawed, because our needs may change drastically over time. Finally, the biggest issue is that she isn't thinking of a relationship as a two way street; she came up with some rules for life and expects him to fit himself into that mold. In reality, a successful relationship involves two people creating a life together. There might be things that the other person brings to the table that you never thought of, but are worth trying. There might also be "needs" on your list that once you have them, don't work out the way you thought. This is why being flexible and creating the future together is key
@@ga6589 I hear you and know no one person can fulfil all your needs. I do not know if im looking for something that do not exist but I obviously want someone who has most of the things im looking for. Things I have in my list are; he should be loyal, responsible man, respect himself and myself... I do not like these social media men. He should be very considerate not a selfish person. He should support my dreams and il do the same for him.
Is this an unrealistic list?
No. Just no.
WTF....power couple??!!
Definitely not a fan of this slamming people.
That’s your opinion. He’s not slamming people. Chose to see it differently.
Why does JD often tell people not to read the comments; if people can’t comment to offer advice and a different perspective, why not just turn the comments off?
Because sometimes comments can be good like giving feedback but dude just read some of the comments about other people who are being vulnerable. The comments are ripping people to shreds with judgement. There are sometimes when John welcomes the feedback but other times when the person he is talking to is calling for help not all this crap judgment from the comment section. That’s why I always like to keep it as positive as I can because Delony is really good at his job especially with giving tough love and empathy when people need it. Also in regards to the different perspective that’s true but you won’t get that without deep judgement from people.
@@flashthecorgi2053 Thanks; I don’t recall hearing him welcoming comments but lately I have heard him tell several callers not to read the comments. I appreciate the explanation; I do think with certain calls the comments should be blocked due to the high level of judgement/negativity.
@@David-wo9un No, he does welcome comments especially when it comes to the guy who was sleep training the toddler or a specific mental health or physical health issue that he may not have all the knowledge a lot of licensed counselors, heath fanatics watch his show such as Dr. Layne Norton. He wants peoples perspectives he just doesn’t want his callers to be torn to shreds.
@@flashthecorgi2053 love your corgi!