They Forced Me To Marry This Man At 19
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- čas přidán 12. 09. 2024
- Welcome to Unfiltered Stories. Today, our guest Fraidy Reiss shares her life story with us.
Raised in a Haredi Jewish community, she was arranged to be married to a man she had known for three months when she was just 19 years old. Her former husband displayed numerous alarming behaviors, including threats to her life and violence.
Through unwavering courage and sheer determination, she managed to get out of her toxic forced marriage. She now leads a survivor-led nonprofit organization called "Unchained At Last", dedicated to eradicating forced and child marriages within the United States.
#forcedmarriage #arrangedmarriage #womenempowerment
Follow Fraidy on social media:
TW: @UnchainedAtLast
FB: / unchainedatlast
IG/Threads: @unchainedatlast
LinkedIn: / unchained-at-last
CZcams: / @unchainedatlast
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Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
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Here's how you know all ✡️✝️☪️ 🕉️ are made up: because they only benefit 🧔♂️ at every turn and in every way. Zero fairness or equality. Zero ❤️
↩️ doG has nothing to do with it. They're all invented and written by 🧔♂️
I applaud your courageous story!
All of the Jewish communities, in my view, need to read The New Testament, to learn, if not accept, Jesus Wirds of Forgiveness, Love and relationships . He says a man and a woman should love one another, as Je Lives The Church (all of His Believers). No mention of forced anything. I could not be forced to do anything, being in an abusive marriage. He didn’t like not being able to control me. I made plans 28:58 and left, and eventually received divorce. I also had a controlling Dad, and he also realized I was going to do what I thought best. God bless you and your children, in your journey. 🙏🧡🙏🧡
Yentl ?
🤺💐
Hey, you should speak Shelesle from Cults to Consciousness. I REALLY THINK YOU WOULD LOVE BEING ON HER YT CHANNEL .
@@pattih7Jewish communities do not recognise Jesus.
Your daughters have to be SO proud of you for leaving. You not only fought for you, you fought for them.
I totally agree
Huh? What? HUH? PROUD of her ? Are you kidding?
I’m cringing.
I’m embarrassed for her.
SHE married him and then spread her legs and had babies plural…. With him?
NAH. Her daughters will end up estranged from her…. And listen to her … this is JUST her side of the story.
Ain’t buying ir
God bless you. You survived so much. This religion is terrible
@@nicksterp2805 religion is gods word so you against his words if you doubted so check yourself delusinal you cant kill you cant lie you cant say those are weak we are strong ask ceaser where are the roman empire no where lost lost lost
Child marriage is barbaric. Forced marriage at any age is abusive. All this abuse occurring right here in the USA. This is shameful.
Forced marriage has actually been made illegal in UK. I don't know if it's been passed yet but you can't get married in England until 18 but you can at 16 with parents consent, but they are not going to allow that either.
@@taniaaustin6433yet England is a country with a Lot of single mothers that very young . So what is the polenta of needing your parents blessing when they are living together way under 16 and having children.
@@EvelinHolmes Actually I do think that is a bit strange that you can have a child as the age of consent is 16 but not get married. . Young girls are sent abroad for arranged marriages. But it does apply to all women no matter what race or religion. I suppose Men a forced to marry too,, we just don't hear about it so much.
If your state has restricted or banned abortion and restricted birth control, watch the legislation on child marriage. Many states still have laws supporting the legal age of 13 for girls. Some laws on the table lowering the age of consent are also attached to laws lowering the age of employment for children from 16 to 13, and removing maximum hours..
@@EvelinHolmes Actually Teen pregnancies in UK have dropped in the UK. It would be very rare for young people to live together under the age of 16 unless living with parents. Its difficult to rent property if under 18 years old in both privately and social housing. That maybe why teen pregnancies dropped because some did get pregnant on purpose in order to get social housing.
Any religion who shuns a member who doesn't follow "the rules" is not about worshipping God. It's about control.
All religions, in other words
The Jehovah's witness religion also shuns members who leave the group.
They are following kaballa
@@Hannah-l3kbullshit
I’m an orthodox Jewish guy married my teenage girlfriend I never experienced any of this kind of behavior nobody forced me to marry anyone there are some of THOSE TYPES but that’s NOT the usual situation
I actually got nauseous while listening to this. My sweet Hispanic mother, now deceased, used to remind me, “don’t ever depend on a man”. I was blessed to have a college educated, employed, Hispanic mother, a rarity in the 60s. Thanks, Mom.
Hi. My sweet German mother always said the same thing!
I have three daughters and I raised all three of them to never need a man. They’re just an accessory. And if the accessory doesn’t match, get rid of it.❤
In a healthy marriage we need each other.
She is the strongest, bravest, smartest, and most beautiful woman that I have ever seen tell her story of abuse. I hope her spirit is at peace, her children are thriving, and she has the best life ahead of her.
People saying she could have just left, clearly don't understand the psychological aspect of this. She didn't even understand or recognize this was abuse. This WAS her normal. It wasn't until she started learning about what abuse was from outside sources. This was a cult and these poor young ladies are groomed very early on.
I haven’t read one comment saying she “could have just left”. 🙄
😢
Just think of what Muslim women must go through, I heard women in Gaza can’t leave their house without a male companion, how sick is that! When you see videos from Gaza or any other majority Muslim place it’s ALL MALES outside. I always found that peculiar, but now I realize why, their women are enslaved, probably think it’s normal.
What a great woman!
The same happens in different ways among the different Christain religions too.
So tired of these cultures & religions enslaving women & denying them any rights
name it properly...it's jews that do that
it's not only that.
even democratic groups do this.
we need actual real enforceable laws to prevent abuse of women. we need to prosecute misogyny as a hate crime.
we need female only spaces, abortion rights, laws that protect women.
@@Sapphiregriffin yes!
@@Sapphiregriffinabortion wasn't even brought up in this video. It is wrong. It is murder. A life is a life.
Well, maybe because we are only allowed to mock and criticize one religion. Every other religion is protected.
Having worked as a neonatal nurse in a hospital that served these women I have seen this first hand - she’s not exaggerating!
Grrrr
According to Wikipedia, "Neonatology is a subspecialty of pediatrics that consists of the medical care of newborn infants, especially the ill or premature newborn."
How would treating infants give you information about abuse of women?
@@stephenfisher3721 She might have seen the marks of abuse on the woman's body during delivery. Alternatively, she might have witnessed the interactions between husbands and wives and seen the level of control.
@@stephenfisher3721do you think babies and children attend hospitals by themselves??
@@stephenfisher3721 These women called mothers birth the neonate. These nurses help mothers with nursing- latching on, schedules, etc, as well as aftercare- bathing, medication, handling special equipment -alarms. The neonate's survival is tied to the mother.
Thank you for not calling the women victims, calling them a victim gives the men the control over the women. A survivor is a good thing to call the women. I speak from experience.
Sad to think of all the women who will never get out of these types of marriages. It would take an unbelievable amount of courage to walk away. Glad she survived to tell her story.
And she is helping others to escape. 🎉
I don’t knock people for being religious. I am myself. What I can’t stand is hypocrisy. So you can’t fathom your wife driving on the Sabbath, yet it’s acceptable for you to habitually get drunk and terrorize your family…on the Sabbath?? Fraidy, so glad you had the strength and courage to get yourself and your children out of the clutches of a truly deranged man.♥️
That's a cult not religion
Every religious person does not have a personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe and humankind.@@violetsrayreikishop2
@@violetsrayreikishop2most religions are exactly like cults
She said it was a cult.
@@genniejefferson6588Judaism is a cult
One word for this woman: BRAVO!
@QueenYak Brava is feminine.. Bravo is masculine. It's Brava
Parents should be charged with child abuse.
Yes why aren't they?
Fathers
@@womenlifefreedom2024 both if the mothers fail to speak up in this day and age.
@@JohnSmith-lk8cyReligion gets a free pass.
And spousal abuse...
The best advice someone gave me, “if you do nothing, nothing will happen”. This was the catalyst for change I needed to hear.
The Netflix series "Unorthodox" was truly an eye opening experience. It's based on a true story and they touch on some of the things discussed in this video.
I hope you know that Unorthodox is not exactly representative of every ultra Orthodox community. There are major differences across the communities.
"no-one's going to help me, i have to do this myself", smart girl. It's true
While I wasn't in a Jewish marriage, my ex husband was emotionally abusive. He had mental health problems that I wasn't aware of when I married him. I too ended up making a plan. I went to nursing school and became an RN so that I could earn enough money to support myself and my boys. The divorce was a mess as he wanted everything. One of the greediest guys I know. Always had his hand out wanting money but didn't give any money to others. Especially didn't think he had any obligation to get me what I needed such as clothes/underwear. I was go glad to be out of that marriage. I am glad for you that you got away.
This isn’t so much a Jewish marriage as a haridim ultra orthodox marriage which is a cult, other parts of Judaism like reform Jews who are much more secular, these Ashkenazi are plain weird.
When I was 23 my parents tried to force me into marriage with a man who was in some kind if evangelical cult. He would come round the house every day and sit staring at me, then would cause trouble in the family saying how I was bad and evil etc. They lapped this up, the situation was so abusive and really screwed with my head. I actually got out of there by going away to university which was a life saver for me.
I'm very happy that you are out of all that. I wish you a long and happy life.
Why did they enjoy hearing how bad you were?
My parents were like that unfortunately. I was the scapegoat of the family and it just confirmed what they already said about me themselves. It was a really horrible time of my life.
@@sarahcollinge3608 I'm so sorry you experienced that horrible behaviour. 😢
I'm so glad you went to university and escaped the situation. ❤
Good on you for your courage and strength. 😊
@@GypsyGirl317 Thankyou for your kind words. Yes it was truly horrible and ill never get over it. Time heals though.
This woman is amazing, and she will do well in life. Her life made me cry and I am so happy that she battles this every day ❤
This episode is SO inspiring. I was raised in a cult where I was forced into an arranged and abusive marriage at age 19. I was shunned by all my friends and family during and after the divorce. I'm in a healthcare position now that enables me to reach out to women when I see signs of abuse and help them find resources to get out. What you are doing has inspired me to do more. Your efforts are changing lives and even saving lives.
And then to build an organisation to help other women escape forced marriages and abuse situations, you are admirable
Not just the over-the-top Jews, it doesn't say anything about this in the Old Testament. MEN made it up to control women. The fricking Muslims are the same if not worse, they marry a 10- or 12-year-old girl and she may not live through the marriage night, she has been f88ked to death. WHY. They can stone their wives if they don't like them anymore. Women live in constant FEAR. Time for the HUMAN FEMALE TO TAKE OVER. IT WILL BE HARD. But like Fraidy Reiss, it took a 5-year plan to escape her horror and her daughters.😇😇
This woman gives me chills. What a warrior.
Western countries shouldn’t have a separate family court for Jews, Muslims or Hindus; any parallel system. Bless the brave women who escape, not even knowing what they’re escaping to.
In the US, there is NO recognized separate court system. Individuals CHOOSE (or "choose" for others) to place themselves under the jurisdiction of their religious laws.
@@synthiamcbride7194 Scientologist are losing their minds when courts won't allow them to settle things on their own and it's happening more frequently while much is still hidden.
Why should there be a separate court system for these people? If they live in the country, they should be following the same rules and laws.
@@lornawilliams-astley2716
There isn’t. If the laws of the church violate the laws of the land they can still be held accountable, but only if they are caught. The problem with these cults is that they are very tight, so they cover for each other. The victims have been in it since they were children, so they have been brainwashed. But as far as your question goes, they are still held to the letter of the law, but only when they get caught. Look up Warren Jeffs, he’s one who got caught, but it took them a long time. the authorities knew he was guilty of child rape, but they couldn’t prove it. I believe a woman by the name of Rebecca Musser turned him in. It’s a long sordid story, but she was able to escape and she turned states evidence against him.
may i ask you a short list of family related / against women crime you may refer above for asking to include Hindus above requirement you wrote ? Do you know that the criminal percentage of Hindu is lower than 1% in Europe ??? Pakistani and Bangladeshi are not Hindus but muslims.
Deep respect! Not only are you a survivor but also a trailblazer and national reformer. What an inspiration. Incredible! Bravo!
Thank you for helping others. I was oppressed in my 20 year marriage. I got away. Much better these days ❤
12 YEARS!!!! She’s fortunate to be alive!
How could her mother who experienced the worst side of forced marriage and managed to escape it, could allow her daughter to go though the same.
most likely the only life she knew. that abuse would have been cosidered "normal" to them.
Easy because her mother was still in the abusive controlling system when her daughter married. And yet still so sad! Come on men do better!
Sometimes it works like that. 💔😞
These Cultures,are So Barbaric,,,even some Mormon sects,LDS, ,and even the more hard core Amish
As out heroine said she was in a cult.
Her mother was conditioned to.accept this vileness as " normal"
I’m amazed she had the perspicacity and patience to put a 5 year plan in place in those abusive circumstances. I’m so admiring of her for putting a system in place to help other women escape from those programmed prisons. Such a shame the families are so brainwashed, they lose their capacity to love and aid their own members.
She's an inspiration ❤
No joke!
How did she save 40,000dollars in a box in the pantry, and pay for college courses and all that goes with it, if she was from a poor family (she described as 'very poor', at that), and completely financially dependent on her abusive spouse, and at what point did she learn to drive, not being allowed to learn how...
(she said she drove her kids to the mall, after she finally confronted her husband)
Most women in an abusive, fearing for their actual life, completely dependent relationships, have nothing, nothing to their name, at all, so that part, I wonder how she managed that?
And I don't think most people believe stuff like this doesn't happen in the U.S.
It happens everywhere
A girl in my h.s got married to some 21 year old, she was 16.
and I, at 14 was concerned for her, disgusted and horrified, but not shocked.
I'm happy for this lady, she and everyone deserves to live a good life
@@sophiai2770 her husband gave her a household allowance
@@sophiai2770 she probably pinched every penny, claimed to need this or that… etc,
" Did I just become my mother?" ... something we all eventually ask ourselves..
At the end when she triumphantly states what her organization has achieved for ending child marriage in the US, it moved me to tears. Her strong will and desire to help others after her terrible experience just fills me with such inspiration and hope. She’s such a good person and I feel so proud to be a woman right now.
She is a true WOMAN OF VALOR...❤❤❤❤❤AMAZING COURAGE ..😁😄😄😃😀
I got goosebumps when she realized how much power she has and told her husband to “shut up”
I'm surprised he didn't knock her!
Amen that's the rising up and out of her, no stopping the spirit
"I have tasted life without you, and it is sweet" What an amazing way to put into words that anyone can understand where you were. Your story is hard to fathom. How a human can treat another human the way your husband did is hard to believe. I can't understand how any man would want to be with a woman who was not also enjoying the experience. It's amazing you were able to create a plan for your own escape. I hope you are doing well now.
I agree 👍🏽
Sadly, many men in marriages that appear regular from the outside, do actually rape their wives within the marriage relationship, over many years.
I personally have a cousin and a close friend who experienced this and nobody knew until much later. 😢
"Would a dead woman wear this shade of lipstick?"
Brilliant. 😂
True, and I love the pink and black.
How about "I have tasted life without you and it is sweet" 💋🥰🤩🙏🏼
Love that❤❤😂
Classy and classic.🎉@@spongemonkeysooz
What a wonderful woman you are. Beautiful lady, intelligent and brave.
This woman is a survivor, she saved herself and her daughters. I wish her and her family, health, happiness and success.
“I never had a bruise. I never had a black and blush mark.” I have experienced this type of abuse. So hard!
They always make sure they don't leave marks where others can see. Both my exes were big on pain without evidence: one physical, the other psychological.
My dad. No one believed he did it because when he hit it, it was just him and me in the house, and he never left physical marks. He was such a POS in so many ways. Guess who got to take care of him when he got Alzheimer's!?! Me, the only child. Yay.
@@simonfea2That’s what nursing homes are for. Not your financial responsibility. No debt is your responsibility unless your name is on it, to the best of my knowledge. I am not a lawyer. 💙
I was also mentally,
emotionally and sexually a and towards the end , physically abused. I finally got away and life is indeed sweet.
@@simonfea2stick him in a home and leave
I would have left without telling him. Many aggressive men attack their wives when they hear their partner saying they are going.
But those women can't just leave because they have no money, no jobs, no education.
Friady you are truly a courageous woman to leave your abusive husband not many people find the strength to do that I hope you're story will help others find there own courage to leave there abusive relationships
@@jimwertheryou are a joke smh
I'm sorry for you Fraidy that you were forced to marry your husband,married an abusive person, and that you were ostracized by your family and friends. However, I have to clarify that according to Torah law, parents are not allowed to marry off their child without their consent. Secondly, if a husband is abusive on a marriage, the Rabbis will help the wife and force the husband to his wife a "get" (divorce). I find it really hard to believe that your and siblings would have nothing to do with you because you ran away from an abusive husband,when your own mother did the same. Your description of Mikvah,marital relations, hair covering,etc. Is revolting. You describe some of the most beautiful mitzvot (commandments) and make them ugly. Just because you had a bad experience, and unfortunately suffered so badly,doesn't give you the right to distort our beautiful Torah and mitzvos.
@@LaurieLandaShe’s telling her story, and it’s her journey. You couldn’t have been in her position, just for the fact that you’re on social media. Many of these women don’t have access to phones, internet, etc.
You are amazing and beautiful inside and out. How wonderful that you took your horrible experience and turned it into something to help others. That is shocking that marriage is legal for girls under 18 in 40 states. It’s almost unbelievable. You sure do have a purpose in your life now and what an example you have set for your daughters. I hope your ex rots in hell, lol.
This woman is a hero. Thank god you’re shining a light on this unconscionable exploitation - and helping to rescue survivors. Blessings to you. I’m donating to Unchained at Last, a force for good on Earth
Parents should stand before the judge in court for CHILD ABUSE!!!
jail time
Intelligent and brave woman who stood for her human rights. I'm so sorry that something like that still exist.
How utterly devastating to hear that this legal exploitation of women is still happening in first world countries. Thank you for being the difference, may all of your days be happy ones
Pfft. Right in Brooklyn.
She flat out said she had a choice not to get married
You survived the real life Hand Maid’s Tale brave lady. Best wishes for your healing. Hugs.
That's a good comparison. Sadly. As she said, Jewish women are regarded as reproductive machines. It's all about numbers and the controlling rules.
Thank you so much for your bravery, for exposing the truth and for being so inspirational ❤ I'm a survivor too. My ex tried to snap my neck. My left arm is in constant pain from nerve damage and all my friends turned against me when I got a PFA and called me a liar. I had bite marks on my face and gashes from him hitting my head against a bathtub. My knees were bloody and raw from being dragged across a carpet fighting for my life to call the police. I still suffer from PTSD. No woman should experience this. It is people like you sharing your story and reaching out to other women who are making a difference. Thank you! So many suffer in silence. They need a voice. They need to know this is not normal and they deserve to feel safe and truly loved.
An inspiring story. A reminder of what women still go through even in a first world country. No woman (no person) should be treated as a chattel.
You broke the cycle for your daughters. Good luck with your organization.
All of these Man-Made rules. A loving, caring God does not require these things. These are things put upon people by people, NOT God.
I agree 👍🏽
That is so true !!!
Amen...just what I was thinking these behaviors are not at all biblical where the command to husbands is to love their wives as they love themselves which these men being described did not even attempt to do. They , the men, are evil and filled with demonic spirits in my opinion.
@@gigieyre True
Amen! That is true!
What kind of wickedness is this! That’s not religion, that’s just pure evil
A lot of it's in violation of Halachah, too, if you really understand what's going on. (Halachah is Jewish religious law.)
@@SewardWriterthat’s why I could never marry a Jewish man or convert to a nutty religion .
These misogynistic, shame-based "religions" need to be exposed for what they really are-- cults.
@@SewardWriterexactly
These guys are pigs it's nothing to do with religion, it's to do with them being narcissistic a holes
And she has merged her trauma of abuse and made it synonymous with Judaism. Very sad. Being Jewish is a beautiful gift.
@@SewardWriter Absolutely. I'm Charedi, and the husband is incredibly guilty on many levels. Fraidy was halachicaly allowed to do anything she needed to in order to safe the lifes of her kids and herself.
Domestic violence is a universal experience, unfortunately, in all cultures.
It is but it is more prevalent in cultures where women have fewer rights and protections. It is also far less easy to leave a violent relationship where there is no-one to turn to for support.
@nicksyb5920 it's like that for dv victims everywhere. Society sides with the abuser.
@@nicksyb5920 it's equally prevalent everywhere, and battered women in western countries also frequently find it extremely difficult to escape for complex reasons. 😢
It’s definitely not equally prevalent everywhere
@@GypsyGirl317 _it's equally prevalent everywhere_
I must say... it's not _equally_ prevalent everywhere. Fortunately there are places where domestic violence has been decreasing for years. We could try to replicate what works...
Bless this woman, her courage, strenght and determination to get out. I can only imagine when in the midst of it she didn't know hat she was doing, afraid, confused, lost inwardly, but made it out and reaches back for others.
The family and community she was a part of sounds VERY sick. She is an incredibly strong woman, an immense BLESSING to her daughters, and to women in general. Thank you, for sharing your story, and for the work you’ve done, and continue to do for survivors of domestic abuse!
Her daughters will benefit profoundly from mom setting things straight for them.
The way this woman, and all women are treated by their families and community makes me think of Christopher Hitchins who said "Religion makes normally moral people do disgusting and wicked things" and this proves that point completely.
And u think the atheists and other ideologies do not have any domestic abuse, child marriages and other immoral stuff!?
Religion may make it worse on some level, bc ‚how can one argue with God!?‘ Yet, it is the men that decide what God meant in the Scriptures!
Religion can be used for good or evil! Great things have been done in the name of a religion! And evil things, also!
Let’s not forget she belonged to the ultra-Orthodox, which is very extreme in itself in Judaism!
Majority of the Jews do not believe in such extreme legalism, child and forced marriages, etc etc!
Thats because they created their own interpretation of G-d's word. If they had shown mercy and compassion towards others, as instructed to do in the prophet Hosea's words, they would never do such things.
Those are man's rules and interpretations of God's Word.
They are not what God ever intended.
You are correct in using the word religion.
Jesus is about relationship, not religion.
Yep. "God" is what man invented the second his brain evolved far enough to understand his own mortality. And we've been adding to the dung heap of belief ever since then.
@@GypsyGirl317 absolutely well said!❤
She is unbelievably a brave woman. How beautiful that that horror has been changed into a testimony that heals others. God bless her!
You should press charges on your ex husband. He belongs in prison
I SECOND THE MOTION.
Absolutely. He is a rapist, among other things.
The community would defend him and he'd be let off, scot free!!!
@@phoenixrising6245really walk away, live your life, he's already lost his.
@@phoenixrising6245 community "defending him" has no affect in a court of law.
Killing your wife is not sanctioned by the Torah.
Nor is assaulting her.
But it is by the T@lm00d
I don't think so. What about the sixth commandment: "Thou shalt not kill." (Ex 20,13), and "But if any man hate his neighbour (meaning: other people), and lie in wait for him, and rise up against him, and smite him mortally that he die, and fleeth into one of these cities: Then the elders of his city shall send and fetch him thence, and deliver him into the hand of the avenger of blood, that he may die." (Deut 19,11-12) Since there are no exceptions mentioned in the Torah, these must be true for the wifes as well.
I have the utmost compassion for this woman and all women in her previous situation.
Her horrific and cautionary tale should also include that in standing up to him and announcing that she was going to leave could have easily resulted in her death and the death of her children. For anybody reading this in similar circumstances, make sure to leave when the abuser is not home.
You can't legally drink until your 21 but its legal in 40 states to be married under the age of 18? Nuts. Isn't sex with a minor a long term prison sentence? Marriage changes that?
I lived in a community of Orthodox Jewish people in Brooklyn, next to the synagogue and above a grocery store in a building owned by a member of that community… there were quite a few incidents that were extremely alarming, I was scared a few times not for myself, but for young women in that community. Dark, dark vibes. I had a lot of nightmares during that time and was relieved to leave.
pure evil
That exactly mirrors my experiences - in London/UK and Birmingham/UK. More than twenty years later, I still get chills down my spine just remembering what I went through and observed... I still get the nightmares. Always of an old Jewish dude chasing me, grinning stupidly and - when I once managed in my dream to turn around and challenge him - just saying "you will find me one day"! I feel haunted...
Evil ppl. H tried to warn us..
Blessed be women who Freed themselves from the Evil of "Being Owned" Free at Last‼️
I can never look at an Orthodox Jewish community again or any other extreme religious community and not wonder.
Brilliant woman. Took me 5 years to leave, as well. Just not from a marriage and I wasn’t Jewish. I was in an organization that slowly turned into a cult... ‘the water reached the boiling point slowly’.
It happens everywhere. Religious and non religious.
You are an inspiration for all women.
Your mother must have understood your plight. She was probably terrified of going against the community again. Sad. I do hope that you have managed to overcome your pain and any associated PTSD. Blessings.
It's heartbreaking and shocking to hear that the majority of US states allow child brides!!!!
What's even sadder is it requires parental consent.
I have always felt that this child bride business was entirely a matter of dirty old men pushing their preferences on their cult members in the name of their religious faith - dirty old men - that's what they are - no better than the 'Jeffrey Epsteins' of the world!!!
He wanted to punch you when he punched the wall. So glad you got away from him!!
He sounds like a sociopath and I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
Basically means 1 in 4 women are dealing with sociopaths because that's the rate of domestic abuse. 1 in 3 are dealing with rapists. There is a very real problem with men who think they own a woman, one that might be turned around by teaching boys that girls are not trophies or prizes or possessions, but people with rights just like them. My heart is crushed with the incredible amount of murder stories, almost all of which are women being killed by boyfriends, husbands, stalkers... we need to do better.
Although not of this religion ,she is describing my life with my ex husband! Memories that I have blocked are coming back to me! The driving in the car speeding and slamming on the brakes, describing how he wants to kill her I experienced all of this. I got out after 10 years!
We visited that community in NJ just out of curiosity. My gosh it was like being transformed back in time to a ww2 era, the way people dress and act
Years ago I got lost looking for a particular place once in NJ & found myself driving in such a town - very busy - with every single person dressed in their black traditional garb, men & women - I didn't know anything about these people at the time & I felt really scared - got out of there as fast as I could. Still gives me the shivers to remember it! It was like another planet!
Strange thing was, many years later I had a young man working with me for a while, very charming, whom I discovered later was actually an Orthodox Jewish person when he brought his previously introduced glamorous girlfriend back for a visit, who was now his wife - she had transformed into a dowdy middle-aged looking lady completely unrecognizable as his former girlfriend. I felt so sad, altho my ex co-worker was as sweet a guy as he ever was! The one big positive about extremist Jewish sects is they do NOT try to Convert, Subdue or Kill others outside their faith, as Extremist Muslims like Hamas are determined to do! Jews are NOT a threat to anyone!
You’re a force to be reckoned with, and as a woman I thank you for your advocacy. Thank you from my heart!
The pot smoker would of been a better match. Probably more calm.
😂
As a pit smoker, I agree!! (*I'm prescribed it for severe anxiety resulting from cptsd, which resulted from a situation like this! 😢*) I'm a domestic violence survivor myself n stand in complete solidarity with this woman ♡♡♡
Usually true, although I did have an experience with a heavy weed smoker who still had anger management issues. Probably in his case the weed was what kept him from being the next mass shooter. I'm still waiting to hear about him in the news one of these days.
Way to miss the point
Yes.
Many years ago I'd read a book about a woman who escaped the Hassidic Jewish community, after a similarly horrific marriage, so I knew your story would be difficult to listen to... and it was! But, oh, what an amazingly courageous woman you are, Fraidy Reiss -- bravo! There is so much more I could say, but mostly I want you to hear one more person who recognizes you as an inspiration for any and all women who find themselves oppressed, devalued or enslaved by their religious or cultural, patriarchal, misogynistic communities.
Blessings to you on your continuing journey to even greater liberation as a human being, and on helping educate and liberate others -- particularly the adults who are needed to protect the children from forced marriages -- and who need your particular expertise in support and guidance. You are a gift now to yourself, your daughters and to this community that so deeply needs an awakening. 🙏🌟💞
P.S. I'm not to the end of this video yet, but I hope you eventually found the type of man you deserve to share your life with -- one who can appreciate you, with all your intelligence, moral compass, beauty, and your open heart. ❣
You were a brave and powerful lady to rescue yourself and your
children. What a Beacon of strength and hope you have been to them, and all other young girls and women you have saved.
My heart goes out to you. I salute your bravery. I wonder how your former husband was raised. And how did you save the money? Thank you for having an organization to help young girls and women. Bless you.
This lady is amazing. May God continue to bless her.
The amount of times I gasped out loud during this video is insane. The fact that your mother forced you into a situation that she herself escaped from, then when you escaped and rejected the system, she sat Shiva for you is diabolical.
It’s a male controlled patriarchy. What could her mother have done? Wouldn’t she also have been at risk?
@@Kate-lk6tw I’m not saying my child is dead to me for a religion. Nope! The mother got out once, she could’ve gotten out again.
The emotional and mental abuse renders rational and logical thought outside a tiny powerful system almost impossible in many; ptsd could be one 'small' outcome.
This woman is a total badass.
Totally !
In your next life you may go though what this lady has gone through …so be careful of how you judge others
@@mefp9889 You obviously do not understand what the term ' badass ' means. being a 'badass' means being a strong , take-no-BS person. So if anything, we are highly complimenting this lady on being strong and resilient.
@@mefp9889 sorry! It’s a colloquialism - it means she’s strong, smart and admirable.
@@mefp9889 Ummm...you stepped in a giant puddle of your own stupidity....I am sure you didnt mean to so I am sorry to be judgy here. Being a BADDASS is a colloquialism for THIS LADY IS FANTASTIC. When in doubt google. Love to you and to all especially this baddass .
This woman really inspires me. My ex was abusive, I know how terrifying it is. She's incredibly strong and I love how she shares that with others.
Congratulations for having the bravery and focused determination to get your college degree (even as you raised two children, and with opposition by your husband and woman oppressive community) and yourself and children out of that bad marriage and into a better, higher life level; and for your altruistic outreaches to women still in abusive marriages.
Thank you for sharing!
I know how hard it is to relive this horror of all these traumatic events.
I'm a 60 year old woman, and I was also forced into a Christian religious marriage at 17 years old from my parents' home to a man in his early 20s. I was around him 3 times and one week later, forced into a legal marriage. My childhood religion is now classified as a dangerous christian cult and is even banned in some countries. I also endured the virgin check with a MALE doctor who explained to my mom how small I was physically inside comparing my virginity to his pinky finger. My mom was in the room, by the way! I was raped, humiliated, and abused in so many ways during that 6 year marriage and 3 children. I know realize that was not a marriage situation but a situation of sex trafficking of a minor and a human rights violation and crime.
Thank you for being our VOICE!
I'm so happy you got your daughters out of that cult. You are such a strong woman!
The things people do in the name of religion. You rock, lady!
I think it's the other way round - religions got invented to control people, especially women- by men who are 100% incels.
True faith in the Creator is in the heart and in one's actions - not in abusing others.
Such a painful story. Looking at how happy and beautiful you looked in your wedding photos, an outsider would never guess. I'm glad you got your freedom in the end ❤
Her story was truly eye-opening. Honestly, it's not surprising, given the many terrible practices linked to religion. Consider the conflict in Northern Ireland, where the clash between two Christian denominations, Protestants and Catholics, led to countless innocent deaths. For what purpose? It's incomprehensible to me. Such religious violence has deterred me from joining any church. I adhere to personal spirituality. No law mandates that virtuous people must gather in a place of worship to receive the promise of eternal life or entry into Heaven. It's certainly unrelated to marriage, attire, social circles, and most importantly, gender. Freedom isn't determined by a Rabbi, Priest, or Minister; it's a divine right that everyone is entitled to.
What a privilege it has been to have lived a life where my parents told me I could be anything I wanted to be, I could marry whomever I wanted to marry, who rescued me from my 1st abusive marriage. I am so grateful that cancerous religion has not seeded itself into my life and for my 2nd husband who is my best friend and the epitome of what a husband and father should be❤ proud of you getting away with no support from family, that isn't easy.
Many of the boys who were kicked out of FLDS communities in the southwestern U.S. have been taken in by families, some mainstream Mormon and others not, and were surprised that these kinds of lives existed in the "real" world, on top of it be really true that people in the outside world usually have adequate food, clothing, and housing.
@lauraIngleswilder74 you can find it as offensive as you want. The reality remains that more people have been murdered, raped, and abused in the name of religion than any other reason.
@@msay4596Exactly! I believe that people, who defend and get offended by the fact that religion is a driving force behind domestic violence, control and manipulation, are afraid to come to terms with the fact that something they believe themselves is in fact evil - and causing more harm then good. You can't cherry pick what you like and only choise to be associated with that version. There are text in the bible which are clear as day that justify violence agaist women for not following the rule of God and man. I find that a lot of people, turn a blind eye to that and just go along saying ''well, i'm not for that and that's in the old testiment''.
Like a Phoenix, may you rise and may your enemies live long so they see your strength and success.
What an amazing woman. She saved herself, her daughters, and those people silently suffering but drawing inspiration and courage from her story.
From the Amish to the Mormons to the Scientologists... So many people using religion or myth to try to subjugate their fellow man.
...felow WOmen!!!
Truth!
@@cwavt8849 ...and fellow creature...
You are a brave lady- there must be thousands like you being stuck in abusive marriages
This is very common in India 🇮🇳 and happening every day. Here.
My family want me to do the same. Glad you came out of this thing
I thought in India I'm told the parent TRY to really find someone who is similar, in most ways....
Resistance
The impact of religions on women's lives has to be reviewed. Women are born equal and free and no religion is to be allowed to make her subordinate and enslaved.
it is not the religions , it is how religions are UNDERSTOOD ... way different . i mean people are doing a genocide on the name of judaism ... it is the people who are the problem not the religions ...
Agreed. Abrahamic religion is terrible. The books are horrific. Anyone who doesn’t understand how abusive and fundamentally misogynistic it truly is should read just the book of Hosea. It’s a short book and shows perfectly how the Abrahamic god views women.🖕that God.
@@lous.1548
Totally disagree. Religion is the platform which allows, and has throughout history, allowed men to mistreat women. The whole concept of ''man is to follow God's word - and a woman is to follow her husband) is a cult like mentality in it self. Glad this woman is out of there.
@@lous.1548It is abselutely the religion/religions. Just be a damn good human being - it's that dimple. Don't do anything to anyone that you wouldn't want done to yourself or to your loved ones - and if there is a God you'll get a ticket to heaven. No ritual or preyer makes you a better person than the next fellow living down the street. Your actions make you who you are, not your beliefs. You can still believe, but keep it to yourself and don't push your indoctrination on to others.
@@lous.1548 NO, it is the religion! If it's anything other than you reading and making your own decision about what you believe and what resonates with you it's going to result in this or something similar, because you are giving your ability to think to some other person. Even the bible and the Koran are all books written by humans and then added to, subtracted from and edited for several thousand years for various reasons. You can read them, if you feel called, but read them with the attitude of I only accept what actually resonates with me. You read someone else's thoughts only to give you ideas or food for thought. You can listen to what someone else says, but if you aren't formulating your own opinion based on what resonates with you, you are giving your own ability to think for yourself to someone else. No to all religions, yes to spirituality and self research.
Sooo much respect for this courageous, caring lady. Through her terrible suffering she has turned her life round and is helping others to find their god given right of FREEDOM and CHOICE in their own lives.
Do not regret leaving a “community that did Not care for their own”. Zonta organization also work to stop child marriages.
This is why we should not allow home-schooling. Schools rescue children who are brought up in cults, and help them find their way out.
She told that she was schooled in a religious Highschool.
Need to overhaul public schools then. Kids are hardly learning anything anymore.
True and no religious cult schools either.
Ridiculous comment.
😢What a horrible life to have lived. Glad you got the courage to get away from that man.
I remember you from my Rutgers Journalism classes. Your story is so amazing, thank you for sharing it
By being so brave and inspirational. This woman has also changed course for her kids for the better, away from abuse, now they can get a better education and freedom
So proud of your strength to escape andhelp others
This woman is so strong 💞✨bless her for all she has gone through 💕& she can stand tall & hold her head up high for doing what she knows is right for herself & all others 🙏🏻✨💖
OMG!!! You r a really extraordinary BRAVE woman. I am really glad u could get away from that crazy bastard. But, imagine how many more are still suffering. That's a horrible terrible ugly bad life. There ideas are crazy & bad & horrible.
What an amazingly strong, brave and intelligent woman. After all that she has been through to save her own life and her daughters, she continues the battle to help others in similar situations. I have nothing but the utmost respect for her.
I got choked up watching this. Watching her talk about her past, her affect was so flat, just retelling something so painful. Watching her talk about her organization, she lit up.
I live a beautiful and meaningful life in a chasidic community. I chose to become religious. There is great beauty and infinite wisdom in an Orthodox Jewish life. I’m sorry this woman went through what she did and in every community there are horrific stories but PLEASE DON’T THINK THAT ALL ORTHODOX JEWS ARE LIKE THIS
Thank you for this perspective. I believe her 100% but I also don’t judge the Orthodox community. It’s not for me to judge.
YOU must have come from a high family and RICH family. The way of the JEW.