I had to learn and am still learning not take on people’s problems as my own. I’m a fixer, so i always wanna fix like Tam lol but i definitely had to learn that not everyone wants or needs that from me.
I think it's ok to gently let people know when their behavior is unethical or if their actions will hurt themselves or others. Too many people stand by and don't say anything and then people get hurt.
Laura Berg i 100% agree and still do to an extent. But taking on ppls problems is not where I am. I will always be there for my friends and will always speak my mind on the things that matter and need immediate attention, but it just depends on the severity of the situation more so for me now.
That happened to a friend of mine, but instead of help my friend was beaten by his own family members(20+ ppl at his grandmother's house waiting for him) for the accusations. The molester was a preacher and his uncle whom he went to live with after his mom passed away. To this day he refuses to speak to the friend he confided in because she told and he almost lost his life. So you have to be careful with certain situations.
Being on your own and not doing much, doesn't make you lazy. It might just mean you like being by yourself or you've had a long day and need to recharge
I'm an introvert. sitting and doing nothing with myself or with my hubby and our sons watching tv is me recharging myself from all the negative energies I encountered throughout the day. I will literally burn out from exhaustion from not taking some "lazy" time. Life is about balance. Find time to do some meditation, praying, journaling, or just sitting in your room in silence. I work to make a living, all my other time is self care and spending time with my family.
For some reason, All of my friends feel the need to confide in me about their sexual assault. Which, I am honored (?) that they feel that they can confide in me. BUT that is A LOT to take on. AND I could only imagine what they’re going through 😞
Yeah I remember when my friends drop that on me. The first one was hard because I was friends with her at the time and i talk to her almost daily and had no idea and then when we were drinking she brought it up causally and then told me how the after math and it made me so angry that she went through that alone and i had no idea. The second one was a shock but she didn't seem too scarred by it
I know exactly how you feel, only one friend has done it but I honestly can say it gave me ptsd. We were both in 6th grade & I didn’t know how to handle it, now when I go through stressful times I have dreams of things happening to me. Sometimes I wish that I could’ve heard her problems without letting it affect me but I guess since it’s such a big problem it hurts to hear.
I'm a dude with alot of female friends and I've heard about more than my fair share of sexual assault, honestly it makes me scared for my sisters, I think it has scared me too I always asking for permission to do anything sexual
This is whyyy they saying dont tell you secrets you dont ask to hear if you tell me I have a secret and I say I dont want to hear it and you insist I'm not keeping it to myself especially if its stressful af to me
Certain personalities absorb everything, so, just being in an environment can be exhausting and overstimulated, and they aren’t relaxing until they are just alone!
@Camille Ollo I am a aquarius dude, but I'm pretty similar tbh. I just listen and observe mostly though. People come to me and like to vent cuz I just listen and don't judge. I been told I'm pretty damn wise so they appreciate a little advice thrown in.
She knows the jokes about white people wanting to name thier boys Timmy lol. My go to is Chros because here in FL I swear everyone is named Rob, John, Chris or Mike.
I went to a wedding of a friend who only allowed a plus one for pple she knew. If she did not know your significant other he or she was. ot allowed to come. I do not have a problem with it. She spent $200 a person on her wedding. So she had all rights to say who she wanted to attend.
true! i'm also a fixer and it makes me mad when people come up to me with their problems, i cant help but give them solutions that they obvs never follow 🤦🏻♀️ so now i just nod and say oh aha yeah
I used to do that, not anymore. People don't want to hear a solution they just want to whine about the problems they got themselves into. Trying to help only zapped my energy so I stopped. Now I just let them talk and say "Hm, uh huh, yeah" and go about my business.
I can relate with Tam bcz sometimes when I tell a person my burden it's because I'll be looking for solutions so I just assume they are telling me because they are looking for solutions from me..
People always tell me things. Or they just talk about things in front of me . Even if it’s so deep they don’t seem to care. Probably cause I’m quiet as hell and I rarely talk so they think I won’t. Which I don’t. I just listen, tell my cat and forget.
Ok so here’s the thing right..: I’m the type of friend that won’t tell especially if you trust me ... and I stand by that and I literally won’t tell anyone , however I’d rather have a good conscious and not tell because it’s not for me to tell , it’s for the person who gave me the information to tell... I can be here for you and do right by you but you also have to do right by yourself and be honest... I understand being afraid of the unknown , but you won’t know what might happen if you’re honest so you might as well take a leap of faith and take whatever is thrown at you even if it is hard to take it !
My friend was sleeping around unprotected at 13 while in a relationship had many pregnancy scares multiple times and I kept that secret for 6 months without telling my mom and to this day no one else knows
I don’t like the term lazy... I feel like lazy can be referred to things that involves not wanting to because you hate or despise it , whereas being disconnected with something is simply not being interested in something because it doesn’t suit you or the things you’re into... I feel like the word “ lazy” is used loosely
I had a very intimate, small family wedding. My husband and I wanted something just for us and close friends. We hiked up a little trail at the park and our best friend married us. A "friend" of mine (at the time she was a close friend) decided to bring her sister and the sister's deadbeat boyfriend to my wedding. We didn't know them. It was extremely rude.
For real. I wouldn't do that to single people at my wedding. If you can't afford everyone, then maybe you can't afford a wedding. The guests pay for enough.
If my nephew or niece's teacher ever call me assuming I'm the parent or legal guardian I'd go along as long as the problem is "non-parental" level. I am the cool uncle and wish to stay for a long, long time.
Being like Tamera, taking on people's problem really left me drained. It only made it worse when I felt like I went out of my way and only got told "I didn't ask you to". So like Adrienne said, I try to not overextend myself. You have to really take care of yourself first.
I can’t stand people thinking that you’re lazy because you don’t want to rip and run all the time.I agree with Adrienne that there is something kind of going on with people who don’t ever want to stay home.And trust me they need to sometimes to “take care of there home”if you know what I mean.lol
Those people are running from themselves and are never happy at home. My aunt and bro in law are like that. All they do is cheat and try to get away from from their spouses and kids at home. They're both narcissists too.
I’m the same as Adrianne I have a forgetful mind, you tell me now I forget next seconds, it’s why I never had problems with my friends. I forget their secrets lolll
Tamera you gotta establish boundaries with those people and let them know not to tell you. And if they break that boundary, you should reconsider that relationship.
It's not being lazy....It's enjoying doing nothing lol.... besides the key to true success in life is within.. so take time to unlock yourself to your highest potential.
Jeannie described it perfectly! My family always used to (still does) tell me that I'm lazy simply because I don't like doing the same things they do. I come from a family of partiers. They're always going to clubs or family parties but I would be perfectly happy sitting in the house with people watching a movie or something.
I don't care about planning a wedding and having all the people. When I married, my husband and I went to the Justice of the Peace. I just didn't want to plan a wedding. Too stressful and I didn't want all the people. My husband told a few people. Literally only a hand full. By the time the ceremony started and ended, we had so many people arriving to the court house. I told my husband, "I thought you only told a few people." He said he did but those people told everyone else. lol. We were outside in the hot sun taking pictures for 2 hours!!! It was nice to feel so much love that ones wanted to join us at the court house. We didn't do a reception. I didn't want to. I wanted it very simple. So different ones had us over for dinner throughout the 2 weeks. That was the best ever! So different and original. I couldn't have planned it better. As I'm telling this story let me tell you where I married. I married in Nigeria. I'm black American and my husband is Nigerian. So hence all the people showing up without an invitation. I send much love to my Nigerian brothers and sisters. :)
its called fatigue by empathy, we psychologists suffer it all the time listening all the time to powerful emotionally charged stories. if we dont do something to de-stress we can became ill even.
Loni: I've been meaning to bring this up! 💀🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭
I mean... I don't mind listening to the tea, I'm like mama mai ☕😂
People need to speak to a therapist. Someone with doctor patient confidentiality and trained to handle the secrets.
@@97indianuk Unless the secret impacts your mental health in a negative way..... But if it's just a petty secret you don't really NEED a therapist
Mama is an entire mood😂😂
😙 ☕️
Is that V in your pro pic?
The more tamera talks the more I realize we are literally the same person with a kick of Adrienne 😂
Alexis Silva Vlogs You are Adriera
😂 Lol
Me too! Lol 😩😂
i relate to this more than anything else i've ever seen on youtube
Same😂😂😂and I have a few sprinkles of Loni & Jeannie in me too
I'm the type that forgets people's secrets. So you may tell me today and by tomorrow, it's out of mind. Exactly like Adrienne
SAME! I just get on with my day and then I wake up not remembering
Same 🤣
Me too
@Obito Uchiha same here
Daina Ward I forget them and it’s not because I don’t care but I just forget
Adrienne: that's math 👋👋👋👋👋👋 that's a lot of money
😂😂
Adrienne knows math? Really?
7:37
tapping on Loni (like sayin "wats the answer)
lol
That's my favourite part in this video 😂😂😂
Guido Feliz And how you know she doesn't? This Adrianne hatred is so lame sometimes. 😎
@@minenoturs4271 loni is an engineer she know math hence the tapping
“You got that face though... you got that biblical face.”😂😂😂
I had to learn and am still learning not take on people’s problems as my own. I’m a fixer, so i always wanna fix like Tam lol but i definitely had to learn that not everyone wants or needs that from me.
tell that to my friend ..she same way
*i* even TELL her to stop
The Thirty Journey exactly
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I think it's ok to gently let people know when their behavior is unethical or if their actions will hurt themselves or others. Too many people stand by and don't say anything and then people get hurt.
Laura Berg i 100% agree and still do to an extent. But taking on ppls problems is not where I am. I will always be there for my friends and will always speak my mind on the things that matter and need immediate attention, but it just depends on the severity of the situation more so for me now.
5:00 Loni Love: "You got that biblical face. You're just angelic." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Iablleepowell 🐈
Tehb
Iabllepowell 🐈
😁😁😁😁😁
Who else loves it when Jeanni Mai impersonate her mother ? ❤❤❤
Yes
I love jeannie "oh don't you try me" I had to replay. I died 😂😂😂😂
@ChattyPablo silly
LOL when Adrienne says she’s not losing sleep over bochinche 😂 FACTS
Loni kills me ‘I’ve been meaning to bring this up’🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Rwanda bee sooooo funny 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Rwanda bee Tamera's face....lol
“It was Oprah and 50 Cent!” 😂😂😂
@ChattyPablo excuse me
She said “that’s math” and started tapping Loni’s arm. 😂😂😂😂
I remember when a friend revealed to me she was being molested.
I held the secret for about 3 days before I broke down
OMG did you tell the cops
A good protective friend
That's definitely something you HAVE to tell 😠
Thats not a secret to keep. Its a call for help. Tell someone if u havent already please
That happened to a friend of mine, but instead of help my friend was beaten by his own family members(20+ ppl at his grandmother's house waiting for him) for the accusations. The molester was a preacher and his uncle whom he went to live with after his mom passed away. To this day he refuses to speak to the friend he confided in because she told and he almost lost his life. So you have to be careful with certain situations.
Adrienne: That's math hitting Loni
No reaponse: That's alot of money you guys! Dead!
Being on your own and not doing much, doesn't make you lazy. It might just mean you like being by yourself or you've had a long day and need to recharge
13:56
yea .im with Ade
“It hurts me not to care.” ❤️💔
I had to go to the Psychologist cause the secrets were so deep and scary I started being suicidal. I don't want nobody's secrets anymore 🙅
Babalwa Yabo take care of yourself and ask Jesus for peace. He will surely help you
“Mind the business that pays you” -Tami Roman 2019 Basketball Wives
Lol. I’m a great secret keeper though.
am a great secret keeper as wel
That's actually - Sierra, 2018 Love & Hip Hop
I’m pretty sure that saying has been around for years, but yeah.
For a minute there, Adrienne looked like Jlo.
I like the term “relaxing” instead of lazy. 😁
Can I get the details on Adrienne's dress please...It's gorgeous...
you cn't afford it
If you have to ask, you can't afford it
Heavenli Pass shutup. You sound really dumb 😂
Amy Collen naw you sound dumb
David Lee she just wanted to know the dress she never asked the elige
I'm an introvert. sitting and doing nothing with myself or with my hubby and our sons watching tv is me recharging myself from all the negative energies I encountered throughout the day. I will literally burn out from exhaustion from not taking some "lazy" time. Life is about balance. Find time to do some meditation, praying, journaling, or just sitting in your room in silence. I work to make a living, all my other time is self care and spending time with my family.
When loni said "you got that biblical face" I cried lmfaoo
Adrienne's makeup is gorgeous!!!
tashaf678 her whole look is on point!
Always...
For some reason, All of my friends feel the need to confide in me about their sexual assault. Which, I am honored (?) that they feel that they can confide in me. BUT that is A LOT to take on. AND I could only imagine what they’re going through 😞
Yeah I remember when my friends drop that on me. The first one was hard because I was friends with her at the time and i talk to her almost daily and had no idea and then when we were drinking she brought it up causally and then told me how the after math and it made me so angry that she went through that alone and i had no idea. The second one was a shock but she didn't seem too scarred by it
I know exactly how you feel, only one friend has done it but I honestly can say it gave me ptsd. We were both in 6th grade & I didn’t know how to handle it, now when I go through stressful times I have dreams of things happening to me. Sometimes I wish that I could’ve heard her problems without letting it affect me but I guess since it’s such a big problem it hurts to hear.
I'm a dude with alot of female friends and I've heard about more than my fair share of sexual assault, honestly it makes me scared for my sisters, I think it has scared me too I always asking for permission to do anything sexual
Those things are truly hard. It's one thing hear about someone's cheating, totally different about violence.
I'm legit Adrienne 😂😂. I forget and i'm an open book idc
honestly just keep your business to yourself period
ayan The world somewhat revolves around secrets and gossips...
Sometimes keeping it to yourself can be deadly...
Like I was in an abusive relationship and I kept a secret until it ended up w him in jail and bruises over my body and permanent trauma
Talking is healthy
It's just who u talk too that's important
IM LITERALLY LIKE TAM. THINKING IS EXHAUSTING.
I just block it out. Pretend I never heard it drown it out. It’s not my place to say anything. So I have my own business to worry about.
Wow once ur told a secret u keep it to yourself
This is why People need to speak to a therapist. Someone with doctor patient confidentiality and who’s actually trained to handle secrets.
@@97indianuk you're the same guy who responded under my comment about a therapist 😂
And if u can’t do that tell your mum (if she can be trusted)
It depends on the situation. What if your best friend’s husband/wife was cheating and you saw it and they asked you to keep it a secret?
This is whyyy they saying dont tell you secrets you dont ask to hear if you tell me I have a secret and I say I dont want to hear it and you insist I'm not keeping it to myself especially if its stressful af to me
Adrienne: I ain’t losing sleep over some bochinche!
Me: LET THAT BORICUA OUT!! ❤️
Adrienne: "I'm a genius as well. See Loni, look at that."
Loni: 👀👀
I'm weak 😂😂
Loni almost took me out with that face 😂😂
I’m a very empathetic person so there are some secrets I can’t handle. If it’s something bad, don’t tell me.
Amen
Same!!!
I aspire to Adrienne’s level of unbothered 🙏🏽
Scorpio vibes!
Certain personalities absorb everything, so, just being in an environment can be exhausting and overstimulated, and they aren’t relaxing until they are just alone!
Adrienne looks absolutely stunning in that blue dress. 😍😍😍 And the make up. One of the best things she has ever worn.
Don't tell me nothing. My mouth is like running water, can't keep none
C D I try to deny it but it’s true for me
😭😭😭😭
Tamera literally embodies the Cancer zodiac.
Any fellow cancerians here???
@Camille Ollo
I am a aquarius dude, but I'm pretty similar tbh. I just listen and observe mostly though. People come to me and like to vent cuz I just listen and don't judge. I been told I'm pretty damn wise so they appreciate a little advice thrown in.
June 23rd right here and you are so right!
July 1 🙋🏾♀️
July 17th!
Yes & as a cancer ppl will reveal all they business to me all the time. Even strangers
I never tell secrets. Your secrets is coming to the grave with me 😂
dark angel i like you lol cause I’m the complete opposite 😭
I need to tell u mine
" I'm exhausted because I think too much " I'm with you Tam ! Not laziness, but smart and cool !
Tam, I exhaust myself from thinking, too
Don't be calling it lazy.. It's called conservation mode..😌
I love having breakfast and watching girl chat✨
Yes same I just finished drinking my coffee😂
I can’t wait to do that
Why is Jeannies go to imaginary name “Timmy” 😂
Scott D dead 💀 😂😂
She knows the jokes about white people wanting to name thier boys Timmy lol. My go to is Chros because here in FL I swear everyone is named Rob, John, Chris or Mike.
7:36 🤣🤣 she didn’t know the math and wanted Loni to do it but she was taking long so she left it and just said “ that was a lot money you guys”🤣🤣🤣🤣
There's an old school saying that goes, Why pray if you gone worry, and why worry if you gone pray.
I went to a wedding of a friend who only allowed a plus one for pple she knew. If she did not know your significant other he or she was. ot allowed to come. I do not have a problem with it. She spent $200 a person on her wedding. So she had all rights to say who she wanted to attend.
A stranger showed up to my parents weeding and when the cops came cuz of a noise complain. Let’s just say he jumed the gate and ran😂👐🏾👏🏾👐🏾👏🏾👐🏾
Here's the thing about being "lazy", is that you may be lazy at one point but you're not lazy all the time. EVERYONE gets bored of doing nothing.
I keep my secrets to myself.
true! i'm also a fixer and it makes me mad when people come up to me with their problems, i cant help but give them solutions that they obvs never follow 🤦🏻♀️ so now i just nod and say oh aha yeah
I used to do that, not anymore. People don't want to hear a solution they just want to whine about the problems they got themselves into. Trying to help only zapped my energy so I stopped. Now I just let them talk and say "Hm, uh huh, yeah" and go about my business.
'Oh dont you try me!' Jeannine I'm dead! LMFO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
i can relate to Adrienne, such an open book and ppl keep telling me their stuffs even adults
Tamara’s right Jeannie! I am constantly exhausted from my anxiety and worries!
That makeup is in point 👏👏👏 for all 4 ladies👌🔥
I can relate with Tam bcz sometimes when I tell a person my burden it's because I'll be looking for solutions so I just assume they are telling me because they are looking for solutions from me..
I’m like “A”, cause I got a lot of crazy stories of my own, cant focus on all of there secrets!
People always tell me things. Or they just talk about things in front of me . Even if it’s so deep they don’t seem to care. Probably cause I’m quiet as hell and I rarely talk so they think I won’t. Which I don’t. I just listen, tell my cat and forget.
I swear I love Loni 😂😂😂 “and is he single”
Ok so here’s the thing right..: I’m the type of friend that won’t tell especially if you trust me ... and I stand by that and I literally won’t tell anyone , however I’d rather have a good conscious and not tell because it’s not for me to tell , it’s for the person who gave me the information to tell... I can be here for you and do right by you but you also have to do right by yourself and be honest... I understand being afraid of the unknown , but you won’t know what might happen if you’re honest so you might as well take a leap of faith and take whatever is thrown at you even if it is hard to take it !
My friend was sleeping around unprotected at 13 while in a relationship had many pregnancy scares multiple times and I kept that secret for 6 months without telling my mom and to this day no one else knows
Now we all know lol
I don’t like the term lazy... I feel like lazy can be referred to things that involves not wanting to because you hate or despise it , whereas being disconnected with something is simply not being interested in something because it doesn’t suit you or the things you’re into... I feel like the word “ lazy” is used loosely
I had a very intimate, small family wedding. My husband and I wanted something just for us and close friends. We hiked up a little trail at the park and our best friend married us. A "friend" of mine (at the time she was a close friend) decided to bring her sister and the sister's deadbeat boyfriend to my wedding. We didn't know them. It was extremely rude.
Single people just don't want to show up to a wedding alone and be reminded someone found love and you are still alone.
For real. I wouldn't do that to single people at my wedding. If you can't afford everyone, then maybe you can't afford a wedding. The guests pay for enough.
We need people like Tam in this world (people who care)
Adrienne was speaking the truth about some of us just wanting a listening ear. Not everybody wants your help/advice 👏🏽👏🏽
Haha I also get Tamera with this analysis paralysis😂. Thinking so dang much that you don't even do anything.
Tamera u are what people call an “empath” . I’m one too . It’s a spiritual gift ! We can’t help trying to fix EVERYONE.
Love love love loooooove Loni! So funny when she reacts to Tam bringing that friend
I have no problem being lazy
If my nephew or niece's teacher ever call me assuming I'm the parent or legal guardian I'd go along as long as the problem is "non-parental" level. I am the cool uncle and wish to stay for a long, long time.
This is a great show BECAUSE of their friendships!! I think if they wasnt friends it would be boring lmao
Being like Tamera, taking on people's problem really left me drained. It only made it worse when I felt like I went out of my way and only got told "I didn't ask you to". So like Adrienne said, I try to not overextend myself. You have to really take care of yourself first.
They all look gorgeous, loved the topics and the honesty
you got that biblical face lmfaoo
Lmaoooo Loni is too honest🤣
I can’t stand people thinking that you’re lazy because you don’t want to rip and run all the time.I agree with Adrienne that there is something kind of going on with people who don’t ever want to stay home.And trust me they need to sometimes to “take care of there home”if you know what I mean.lol
Those people are running from themselves and are never happy at home. My aunt and bro in law are like that. All they do is cheat and try to get away from from their spouses and kids at home. They're both narcissists too.
I’m the same as Adrianne I have a forgetful mind, you tell me now I forget next seconds, it’s why I never had problems with my friends. I forget their secrets lolll
I’m definitely Adrienne cause I tell allllll my crazy stories
Tamera you gotta establish boundaries with those people and let them know not to tell you. And if they break that boundary, you should reconsider that relationship.
It's not being lazy....It's enjoying doing nothing lol.... besides the key to true success in life is within.. so take time to unlock yourself to your highest potential.
Jeannie described it perfectly! My family always used to (still does) tell me that I'm lazy simply because I don't like doing the same things they do. I come from a family of partiers. They're always going to clubs or family parties but I would be perfectly happy sitting in the house with people watching a movie or something.
Lmao @ “oh you were there” & “why thank you” & Ade tapping Loni to do the math and she wasn’t even paying attention 🤣.
Yes Tam! You are not alone! I am exactly the same way!
I don't care about planning a wedding and having all the people. When I married, my husband and I went to the Justice of the Peace. I just didn't want to plan a wedding. Too stressful and I didn't want all the people. My husband told a few people. Literally only a hand full. By the time the ceremony started and ended, we had so many people arriving to the court house. I told my husband, "I thought you only told a few people." He said he did but those people told everyone else. lol. We were outside in the hot sun taking pictures for 2 hours!!! It was nice to feel so much love that ones wanted to join us at the court house. We didn't do a reception. I didn't want to. I wanted it very simple. So different ones had us over for dinner throughout the 2 weeks. That was the best ever! So different and original. I couldn't have planned it better. As I'm telling this story let me tell you where I married. I married in Nigeria. I'm black American and my husband is Nigerian. So hence all the people showing up without an invitation. I send much love to my Nigerian brothers and sisters. :)
As a single person, I literally stopped going to weddings that don’t extend a +1 to me. It’s such a double standard that coupled people think is ok.
its called fatigue by empathy, we psychologists suffer it all the time listening all the time to powerful emotionally charged stories. if we dont do something to de-stress we can became ill even.
Tamera butters herself up a lot. Sometimes I like the self-confidence, sometimes it just sounds arrogant.
OMG. I was hoping to see something like this.
@@kaylee7639 exactly
It is called being an empath. You take on and feel their burden.
Adrienne’s makeup is just flawless😍
Their outfits on the episode is on point 👌
Jeannie was right. Southeast Asian culture dictates that younger folks will be labeled lazy if they don't do any work in front of the elders.
Of course, because it starts to get to you and it eats at you too then.
You can’t worry and pray you gotta choose one ☝️ yasss
Tam I'm da same way. Maybe it's a Cancer thing . We're empathic. We feel everything.
I prefer not to know some secrets. What if I get traumatised and can't bear it
She was a friend I could tell her my secrets and her to me. Because we knew we would pray instead of telling others. 🙏😏
You guys are so amazing! I watch you guys from the Dominican Republic! Y’all are such an inspiration to me, thanks for all the advice.
Love y’all❤