The Narcissist's False Superiority Complex
Vložit
- čas přidán 2. 10. 2022
- Narcissism is characterised by a sense of grandiosity, a sense of entitlement and being self absorbed. There is also a lack of empathy for others and a believe others envy them.
This video answers the questions how and why narcissistic people behave as if they are superior to others, and gives examples of how they try to look more intelligent, more accomplished and more important than they often are, also why they rarely back down when in error.
Other videos you might find interesting:
How covert narcissists manipulate
• How Covert Narcissists...
How narcissists make their victims look like villains
• Seven ways narcissists...
How Narcissists Bully Others
• How Narcissists Threat...
Please feel free to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos in the comment section.
Please consider supporting me on Patreon
/ dfmagee
#narcissist #narcissism #darrenmagee
Huge ego but NO SELF ESTEEM. ENORMOUS sense of entitlement. We are here for them, period.
How can you stop this if you’re like this? Sometimes feels like I just need to get rid of myself so I can’t do this to anyone anymore
@@geofox9484I think that the fact that you recognize it and have a very real desire to change your behavior, you can and will do it. The first step in change is recognizing the problem. Good luck.
It's so strange to have both of these qualities at the same time.
My ex friend was like that
please allow me to describe them in 3 words: they are a ... Walking, Talking, Paradox.
You nailed my mother, both of my sisters, and my ex-husband. I am free of all of them. Best decision of my life!
Me too, Obie! My mum up until the last 3 years of her life and then all 4 siblings before and after her passing. The amazing thing for me was my mother’s incredibly sincere apology during her last year. I wanted so badly to believe her, and although difficult at the time, I finally came to terms acknowledging her apology after her passing. I found incredible peace and happiness and was able to embrace her spirit over the years.
Looking back, I now realized how very fortunate I was when I left home at age 18 and sought years of therapy in the process of learning, growing, replacing negative with positive labels and embracing the person I was created to be in this world.
As for my siblings, nothing has changed and it’s incredibly painful to see them hurting the way that they are. IMO they are deeply wounded and they can’t even see the wounds.
Same here. Two sisters are just like my mother. Have to kiss their butts for any sense of any relationship. Ex husband exactly the same. Ran after him for 30 years for a marriage. Got so burned out I was almost crazy.
I can relate to that.
May be you have issues 😂
My Mother 100%.
That is why a philosopher said that the main way to know someone character is to give them power and watch how they treat you afterwards. If they are healthy their behaviors will also be healthy even if they are of higher status, if they are unhealthy you will see their behaviors shift a complete 180 and start berating those they now consider inferior
That was Abraham Lincoln‘give a man power…” etc
The behavior I see most often among people I know to be quite narcissistic is "name dropping". The ones who do it seem to do it a lot... As if they are trying to raise their own status by claiming an association with high-status people.
yes
That would be in the range of relatively transient and common behavior.
@@Jester123ish Uhm, every single person has some narcissistic streaks in their personality. Narcissism is not a mental disorder per se, but it can be if it's not just one aspect of somebody's personality but the core of it. So of course some behaviours people suffering from NPD will display all of the time, "normal" people will also display every once in a while, making those behaviours rather common.
The most annoying thing is when they start reiterating something that you said to them or said in front of them , back to you, completely oblivious of the fact that it's you who said that, and feigning a philosophical or intellectual higher ground. I noticed this in several people and before I knew about narcissisms, I used to think, they are so focused on gaining information/knowledge that they don't care about the source and only focused on the actual bit. But, it got annoying pretty quick when they kept repeating the same thing over and over, and then I began noticing they do the same thing with some other piece of info that someone else had said. I realized these are a type of fake behavior but had no idea that they do it consciously before I knew about NPD.
Yeah, and once they realize they have something that you’re paying attention to because we all have problems go yeah I made a mistake there whatever they will use that to beat you on the head for the rest of your life even if you changed it, it didn’t happen again, and it’s from 20 years in the past
@@enaquasanitas7017 no. A single trait or even multiple similar traits is not a guaranteed narcissism. You really have to live with a person for quite some time to know for sure.. And i am assuming you have awakened to NPD already.
The whole family of narcissist I married into did this to me, especially my father-in-law. I always wanted to say, "And do you KNOW who suppled you with that information?" I did now they did it consciously either.
@@enaquasanitas7017 most of us have one or more traits. And that's ok...it's problem when the score is high and PPL lack empathy.As long as someone has empathy and the ability to self reflect, then it's ok. Social media has actually rewarded these traits and so you see more and more PPL displaying these attributes.
Same here
Had similar situation with "friend" (succubus) of more than 50 yrs. Last yr I had enough. Literally & physically blocked her from my life - social media, phone, everything. Nine months later she got thru via an old email acct I forgot about, acted as though nothing was wrong. I promptly disabled account & haven't heard from her since. My life is infinitely better in every way. No regrets.
I know it's best not to engage the narcissist, but recently when a co-worker made a particularly disparaging remark I asked her, with seemingly true concern, if she was constipated. For once she was at a total loss for words.
Yay--glad you put up strong limits. I've always let things go on far too long, like decades.
My dad doesn't change the topic if he doesn't know the subject. He'll just screech at you for talking about it, claiming 'you just keep going and going!' even though he brought it up first and you were just trying to answer his question or correct his misinformation. This is his favorite tactic to try and bait me into fighting with him.
The biggest griping will come from a narcissist in the area of attempting to "correct his misinformation." This is what they cannot abide. HoW dArE yUo TeLl ThEm TheY'rE wRoNg AbOuT aNyThInG iN lIFe!
my uncle is like this. He works in construction. And when he is talking to lay people who are not in construction he uses very technical terms to sound intelligent.
THANK U SO VERY MUCH FOR SHARING THIS. I WAS INVOLVED WITH AN OVERT MALIGNANT NARCISSTIS. I WAS DISCARDED DESTROYED THROUGH MONTHS AND YEARS OF THE SILENT TREATMENT. I WAS TARGETED TO SIMPLY DESTROY.
NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS BRUTAL
Yes, my dad and ex ( although I think ex is sociopath or martyr narcissist). Protecting their narrative and social standing is always first order of business. Dad said "you know too much", and I do.
What a sad life they have 😒
And what hell they unleash in that of others.
@@leoantonio you only give what you have.
Exactly.
I've often said ... it must be miserable being (that person) 😕
@@asmamiller very miserable
Do not feel sorry for them. That is one of their tactics to attract further attention. They will cheat you out of your last money then convince you they are the victim, not you, and you know what? Even though you are the victim, you are asked to make them feel okay. They are despicable people who do not deserve any attention or sympathy. So do not think they have a sad life. They know they behave terribly. They know.
I said something out loud that shocked a small community recently. I didnt think it would have a massive impact but it has. For the better. ( it shocked me too, as I had been thinking it for years)
I said " I have a benchmark when dealing with some people/ situations, " Am I not as important as everyone else ? "
It really seems so simple now.
Beware of anyone who continually and intentionally keeps invalidating (makes less of) you, could be in a thousand different ways, either subtly (covertly behind your back) or overtly (to your face). Dump, discard, disconnect.
Spot on. This is exactly the way they operate. Thank you.
Thank you for these points. Checking myself because I don't want to be known by these characteristics 😕
they claim to work at the university omitting working as a cleaner
... LoL .... bingo ... !
😅
Cuzz they have a lot to hide.
🤺💐
One narcissist who was in my life, would type up lists of all the “good things” she had done for me, after berating me for doing this, or doing that.
Who needs that?!!
That is quite frankly, unbelievable; though I m sure it's true. Nobody could make that up.
Did she actually do all those "good things" or was she twisting the truth?
My LO wouldn't make reservations at restaurants. When he showed up he expected to be seated at a good table just because he was so brilliant.
It's very simple: The more someone behaves with respect and compassion towards others, the better. The two most defining characteristics I've seen with narcs are their senses of entitlement and the resentment that flows from this. Both are hidden, and both work together to create the sort of toxic attitudes and behaviors narcs are infamous for.
The thing is, these same toxic attitudes and behaviors can stem from other issues as well. So can resentment and entitlement for that matter. The human mind is poorly understood, much less it's conciousness and what shapes it and it's resulting behaviors. One thing is clear however:
People who exhibit narc traits are best avoided to degree they lack insight into themselves and fail to treat others with respect. Full stop.
My mother was the first narcissist I knew and it set up a template that I have followed my while life. Always choosing partners and friends that fitted that template. It's taken a lifetime but I finally see them. Thank you Darren. Your words validate my experience which is gold when you are finding your way through the lies and manipulations of a lifetime.
…my sentiments exactly.
This is uncanny. It's like you know my ex. You're describing him down to a T. Every single point is absolutely spot-on and you couldn't have been more accurate if you tried. You've summed him up better than I can. Your insight is incredible!
How can I finish with a highly toxic, superior and narcissistic best friend? We have been friends for years but only now do I realise the nature of our relationship. I enable and lift her up. I’m not allowed to express happiness without there being trouble but it’s all so subtle. It’s a competition to prove she’s the best, not a friendship anymore. I feel so frightened of her that I’m scared she will see this post! How do we end these things?
Consider yourself lucky and fortunate you are not married to them, and have not had kids with them. Get out. Go no contact.
@@leoantonio Thank you. Yes I am lucky. My dad was narcissistic so I knew what to avoid in a partner but have replicated that relationship in other friendships and most alarmingly my best friend of 44 years!
@@makejam1894 I've just put a password on my laptop so that a relative does not subscribe to my channel. There's two ways to go about that, a showdown where you tell her how you feel and the friendship is over but that can get nasty, or give her more subtle signs over a long period of time, months perhaps, and hope she understands.
@Makejam, I had the same situation, and didn't want to let her down in an ugly way as others had done to her. For a long time (20 years) I thought she'd been the one who must have been wronged. As probably was true for you also, there were fun times, too. They know how to be charming when they feel you might be growing weary of their need to be the best and competitive with you. What I did was stop doing the "lifting up" that you mention. I had been doing a lot of supportive things which bolstered her ego. I realize that now. So I just stopped, and instead would ask questions about why she saw it that way. (I'd never before put her on the spot, even when I internally disagreed, so I have to own my part in letting her think I was hanging on her every word when I wasn't.) Now she claimed to be feeling interrogated by me. Sometimes she wouldn't answer, or would change the subject. I was becoming a frustration to her, I knew it. In the end SHE ended it, (by not returning my phone calls.) I knew it was coming, and knew why, so it wasn't very traumatic. I slipped out quietly - a soft landing. She was infuriated that I didn't run after her. (Through posting malicious "dog whistles" on FB.) It was not surprising, and typical of her immaturity. I hope for you a soft landing!
I'd suggest no contact though since you don't have to coparent with them.
Im on a fixed income and single. One family member is pissed that i draw more social security than her and says "You get more than I do".. i really pissed her off when i told her im also responsible for my own bills i actually pay for.. she is always begging others for money while she blows her income on herself with studid crap. She finally just wore me out,when she used to just tear me down..im done.
cognitive bias ...... they are never wrong, never accountable for errors or mistakes ....
what happens when a narcissist fragile ego breaks .. ?
Just fabulous as always
I personally feel that I have been surrounded by narcissists all my life because everyone I have known has been like this! I always thought it was just the norm and I was the odd one out. Honestly, where does anyone find non-narcissistic people?
When I notice that EVERYONE disagrees with me, I have learned to take it as a clue that I am wrong!
Nah. Everyone else is wrong. Just ask Galileo.
My sibling, highly narcissistic I've learned in the last couple of yrs only. Superiority over me, turning my 2 children against me for over a decade due to jealously most likely- gets people to side with him against me like my ex-husband, highly opinionated on things like parenting when he has no kids, the list is endless. Love your talks Darren, pls keep sharing this info. Its very helpful.
I'm so sorry he turned your kids and ex against you, hopefully they break away and realize the truth 😢
Dr. Magee. It would be a great blessing to have your discourses/video content in print format so that we can also read them and reread...a book in hand. Kind regards and sincere thanks.
yep if he wrote a book or has written a book already i would buy it
I agree with you Marianne! 😊 That would be wonderful! I keep taking notes so that I can reference back to Darren’s great teachings and wealth of wisdom. Virtual Zoom lessons would be wonderful as well! 😊
Started a new job and of course there's one bully who my clean demeanor and work ethic seemed to activate. Just watched your boundary vids and been thinking my coworker has a superiority complex with a hint of sadism. Had to watch this vid that got released.
Having decent appearance, staying busy, having high quality past training, and staying off my phone seemed to set him off. Very competitive and he's kicking everyone down the ladder on his king of the hill style. Everyone thinks he's just swell but he's constantly trying to throw mud on his peers. Especially me, he'll lean in close and start to mock and nitpick little things about me to "pfft! Seriously... (eyeroll and smug smirk)" at. Like Mean Girls! Trying to get all the guys to join in on degrading me with his sarcasm everytime we're in a group. When I'm being trained or having a superior talk to me one-on-one, he'll rush over and stand behind me. Either to listen in or show he can do anything I can do. His help comes with that leaning in smirk that he does when he's insulting. I figure he helps to be the superior, not to be uplifting.
I was worried I was seeing things being I've been through this so many times. Ross Rosenberg told me I was smart and it's okay to accept others can get jealous even if I don't see the qualities in myself. I was worried I was overreacting so I asked a nice coworker. He thinks guy is helpful but guy always throws his jokes on the ground and mocks them rather than getting a chuckle. I made a desperate gamble for validation and told good worker my concerns. Later he mentioned he does notice now how "different he is with me." Other people have noticed the guys reaction as well but just make a disgusted look like "what's up with that jerk?" So I'm positive now this person is on the triggered horse even though I went out of my way to give him good reviews being he has a baby on the way. But this guy only is about his goals and ours can drown with the Titanic.
I've been through this many, many times and I've found boundaries don't work with these hyper competitive, sadistic types (leans close in to insult and pulls back after in smug superiority). I don't want to find a new place to work but this guy kissed my lead's butt perfectly and the lead is even getting on my case with my inexperience with their equipment and wearing PPE. The weird hours and anxiety is causing insomnia that I never had before. I might have to get out of this job and while it pays well, I don't want to stay at a place with a predator. I don't want to fold to these people but these coverts that enjoy ruining jobs aren't good to be under in an organization.
Thanks for letting me write and for the vids.
@Robert PuKeyRay, If it helps, I'm familiar with such co-workers who are always standing close, wanting to overhear your conversations with the boss. They're ALWAYS in your space. They are threatened by a new hire's high work standards because probably they've so far been successful in getting away with a lot through just the types of behavior you describe. They can fool people until someone like you comes along and suddenly, the other employees can see the big difference in the way you do business. Stay who you are, but keep your cards to yourself. As Michelle OBama said, "When they go low, we go high."
If you need to make a friend of your boss, (kiss your lead's butt as you put it) it would be funny if you get promoted, and this sadistic guy has to answer to you. You don't have to do it in an obvious way and be as bad as him, but you could always be respectful and kind to the lead. Find ways to make your lead's job easier. Take care of yourself, get good sleep - he doesn't deserve to give you anxiety and have that kind of power over you.
@@notagain779 such a wonderful and well received comment. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I think your experience and analysis is spot on. I'm trying hard to not let this water in my boat and your comment is going to be a big help moving forward. Thank so much for the wise advice and I'll be applying it. 🙏
@@Pukeyray, Right - Don't let this water in your boat. Some people want to undermine your serenity and get you spinning. I've been through it, and seen other people go through it, too. At age 68, I'm glad to be retired. If my comment is going to help you, I'm so happy! 🙂 BTW, My old boss, who is also retired, and I are still friends. He recently told me he felt like I was the only person in the place that he knew was a friend that he could trust. I had no idea, but he said he didn't want to play favorites or pit employees against each other at the time. He could tell me now, though, he said. Of course, it did play out well at work for me, (to the annoyance of some others), but I genuinely liked him from the start, so it was easy to have his back - I wasn't trying to suck up or anything like that.
@@notagain779 Your boss sounds like a genuine person and you reaching out and being helpful to me means you are a helpful and genuine person in real life. I can see why you were honored and treasured by your lead. So glad you had a good boss and you being a good employee and person was so appreciated 👏💕
@@Pukeyray, ❤🙂🙏🏼
You have exposed me thank you for doing so
Hi, thank you for this very interesting explanations. Currently working on myself with different therapist and also thanks to this kind of youtube videos, I'm realising that I might have a narcissistic disorder, that I unconciously tried to hide from therapists, among other things. What I can say to people who have those kind of personalities in their surroundings is : try to not judge and be provocative to this persons, because this situation can be really painful for ourselves too, and it requires a lot of energy to always try to find ways to look "superior", and to escape that feeling of shame of ourselves. We have the impression that everybody will find us pitiful or won't care about us if we don't act like that, we have learnt to believe that we couldn't be loved and admired simply for what we are.
I have a coworker that I suspect is a Narcissist, and while I don't want to interact with her, my chief thought about her is that I feel sorry for her. She seems to be living in a constant war against her own sense of shame. It just seems to exhausting.
For the fact that they have to appear more intelligent says it all.
I end up saving a LOT of your videos for later review. This is another one. Thanks for the great work! This is really helpful.
They play the martyr too
IMO, it is not a superior complex, but a dilemma. The dilemma is: Am I superior or am I inferior? If things go their way, they fell superior, if not they feel inferior. The way to clear this dilemma is understanding that everybody has talents and nobody has it all. Admit that is too much painfull for a narc.The problem with narcs is their strong defence sistem. Narcs have fragile egos, so to defend it they lie to themselves and to the world. Yes, in some areas of knowlege they can be superior but in others they have to learn a lot! Think that way demands mental lexibility, that narcs lack.
All of the above. And they are mean as hell.
"INCONCEIVABLE"
Resource * The Princess Bride
I feel so bad i am living with narcs my whole life
At 3:04 "Precipitation" 😂 Darren I'm catching up on your videos today with several cuppas and I love your sense of humour that I can relate to so much with also living in Ireland ☘️ your channel is a refreshing breath of fresh air and honesty. Never stop speaking the truth with some humour injected into the mix! 🤗 Also I'm glad most of the house repairs here are done because can relax a bit more and watch more of your channel too. Thanks again and best wishes ❤️
This is/was my ex coworker and manager to a T. He had my personality figured out because of CZcams clips (he was way off, as our daily work interactions never lasted more than 5 minutes to go over how the day went). It was just constant know it all-ism because he knew every single way to work out, and he'll gladly tell you this (he would even tell the gym trainers below our building what they're doing wrong). He'll also gladly tell you what you're eating is wrong; your workouts are wrong; even carrying my walkie talkie was wrong. He had workout and health hacks that only he supposedly knew about (I don't want to give away the info), even though 2 minutes of CZcams research gave the same advice. He was just blessed and we were all lucky to share the same oxygen on this planet. SO glad to be out of there. I'd frankly never been around anyone like that. He was a stereotype macho arrogant a-hole know it all. It was funny yet sad.
There was a huge hipster narcissist at work who was an expert on any topic. I avoided him at all costs, but when he had a newborn baby in the NICU due to complications, I decided to extend some kindness. The discussion in the break room was about soup of all things, and he still proceeded to tell me everything I was doing was wrong. I threw up my hands and realized even massive douchebags can have sick kids.
Another fantastic ‘lesson’, Darren! So grateful for your incredible insight! You have a wonderful way of putting things into perspective and I am grateful for you.
Not sure if you have considered doing virtual masterminds or round tables on Zoom, but it would be amazing!
Initially, I was going to say that you had me at #4, but actually you had me on ALL 7 points! Thank you!
One Valentine’s Day… the narc ex attacked me for over an hour, he raged and disparaged my looks, my degree, my job , my family, my intelligence, my psychology, our r’ship, literally every single thing about me…. All because I caught him online with his ex sending the same cutesy msgs he was sending me. It was one of the most abusive tirades I have EVER experienced in my life and think I had ptsd for 2 weeks after. And one of the occasions I saw his blue eyes turn black… pure evil
what so you call those people who have nothing to backup their ego but still feeling superior? but full of hot air. ive been seeing a lot of people in management like this.
My dad and “Flustrated”. I tried correcting him and he went off! Eventually he told me that’s what they say in the military and I wouldn’t understand. 😂
Thanks for your pleasant assessment.
Thanks
Nice style of presenting and very pleasant voice. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience.
This cost my dad his job...superiority complex made him fall out with his boss and made him lost his high pay job.
Years later he still hasn't change (because they can't obviously) .
Dr Magee - In many of the points you have expounded, you have accurately described a friend with whom I have cut cords recently after over 20 years. Luckily, I had not actually seen him for months - but every telephone conversation we had was based around his activities, opinions , political and religious views to the extent that what was good for him had to be similar for everyone else. Too often, he rapidly changed the topic of conversation towards these.The recent lockdown period gave me time to reflect upon how toxic and preposterous these were, and indeed were part of his attempts to influence not only me but other folk. Being an intelligent and articulate guy, he unfortunately was / is able to initially impress potentially influential people . I think that I've made the best decision in blocking him on line / telephone, and shall ignore any snail-mail from him...
I'm glad to hear what you said. I've got a few narcissist's in my life. I never want to be like them, so I use your words as ways to think about my own behavior, and think about making adjustments.
Fragile ego is rampant, however, when we reach our adulthood being aware of it, it should prompt us to catch ourselves, regulate our thoughts & emotions, and try to be a better version of ourselves. I know it sounds easy but it's hard to actually do - but hey, you're already aware of it so might as well change your behaviour.
I agree... Have been an NC.. Don't know how full blown it had reached.. I feel so ashamed of myself and very very very sorry for people I have been manipulating... I know can't deny to myself.. Am changing God help me.. I feel rotten and ashamed on things I did to look good and keep people under control.. It's demonic and satanic
5:00 Like the sound of their own voice.
You nailed it there!
A narcissist cousin used to call me and say, "I'm superior to you." She's never read a book, has been fired from many low-level jobs, just goes to church and stuffs herself.
This describes the woman I liked perfectly. Look at me, admire me, lust for me. You'll never be good enough for me. I'll never go out with you even though I love the attention you give to me. I work with the public and a lot of women are like this. They love when they catch you looking at them but don't ever approach them and ask them out.
you are fantastic in listing the behavior.
My ex husband 100%, I enjoyed this immensely, it made me feel better … it was like ☑️ ☑️ ☑️ to all the points!!
Thanks for the info!
You nailed it!!
I've met such types. Amazing how they convince others of their "greatness."
Thank you for the great video this how they are it’s good to have the information
I have a old friend who goes out of his way to tell me the things I do in life are wrong and I should do them his way. Where I work, where I live, what I do with my money. Even when we play video games casually he feels the need to randomly tell everyone "jon uses the same gun every game, I use different guns". Always says it immediately after I do well to knock my success down.
You just described my sister. She thinks everyone is envious of her. So sad
Like my ex narc friend of 34 years
.
Excellent information and spot on!
Thank you so much ❤
A certain individual I know, likes to throw out big words, Latin words, legal words. Got into a blog fight with what turned out to be an attorney. Got tore up so bad I kinda even felt sorry for him
I am old enough now to relate a lot of what you say back to a few over the years who I now strongly suspect were narcissistic. Wish I realised it at the time though…
Thank you.
your the best thank you doc
Thank you!!!
Great video
This video cracks me up!!
You absolutely nailed a colleague of my!! His enormous ego, his control and dominans etc. All his lies among peers are countless. His Ideas and thoughts about his own leadership abilities. LOL 😂😢😂😂
yes I had jealousy over me passing first year uni exams by a jealous neighbour.. she was a gossip and slanderer and made up things to tell new neighbours in the street. I moved house to another city and left her nastiness behind. she had low self esteem and i had had enough of her ruining friendships because she also was jealous everyone else in street had money and she didn't like anyone with authority over her where she worked she got jealous of anyone who got promoted and gave them hell and she said you got my job... Many people she worked with left her narcissism was so evil.. i have peace now away from her nastiness.
How do people become so friendly with neighbors? ,
Thankyou x
Most important thing is avoid drama as possible... Wen lost trust with special persons thats the end.. Especially those who bring drama to our own personal life without our consern...
Classic, Darren! It's like you have been in a room with that friend of mine! I heard it all over the ten+ years that I associated with him! 😂
You nailed it My sister and my mother but my sister is the WROST!! 99.9% of everything you said; she does!!!
unfortunately describes my mother perfectly. All her life long friends have lost interest in her, dad passed now she’s all alone and can’t take care of herself,and living a horrible lonely life.
Are you my wife? My mother-in-law is the same way. Lives alone, and gets weirder by the day. Sends crazy emails about all the things we are doing wrong as parents. Her kids want nothing to do with her, and actually fight over who has to put her up in the guest room for the holidays.
LOL. I have a neighbor who always tries to tell better anecdotes than any that I tell him. I let him get away with it, and I tell him that his anecdotes are interesting and enlightening, but he's still annoyed with me that I've had a more diverse life than him. A few weeks ago he started giving me the silent treatment, most likely because of that. I give up.
Thanks!
You’re welcome, and thank you so much for your kind support I really appreciate it.
My mother is totally this, she berated my sister in law all the time (my sister in law is a doctor) saying to her "I brought up 3 kids, that was MY job" My sister in law came back with "you've never worked in a job though" and that was it she was banished. She also helped break up my brothers marraige.
Really sad,breaking someone's marriage? ultimate betrayal..
If you know someone who has these personality traits and you consider them a “friend” remember you are only an audience to them and nothing more.
Momma said, "It takes one to know one".
You just described my husband as if you’re living under our bed!
I don’t have time for these people.
They bully and talk a lot of lies.
I just ignore them and keep away from them.
Once or twice I’ve taken them on directly and pointed out their failings….it always results in a huge drama when I do that.
I feel however they can be cured if they can be exposed…publicly exposed really drives them mad and that usually works to get them to stop what they are doing!!
I have found that those who need to feel superior are very insecure. A confident person does not need to feel superior to anyone.
I play hockey with an interesting character. He is known for ‘lecturing’ people. He will happily talk for ages, dominating a group. He seems charismatic and very confident. He argues with everything I say, always tells me off and orders me around. He often says in front of others that I have poor social skills or I am rude. I finally figured out that the reason is that I don’t obediently listen to him. I try to encourage others to talk, to get some interesting conversations going. I am a threat to his domination of the group. I am also a very good skater, and he is a mediocre skater, and I think he is jealous. He often says he is very clever. I found out he got a third in maths, so he is lazy or dumb. He says he is a great hockey coach, better than the pros. He’s never had any training in coaching. A friend thinks he is autistic. I think he is narcissistic, with no empathy, and very manipulative. These people are very very good at controlling other people by exploiting their weaknesses, or even inventing weaknesses i.e. putting them down. I often check things he says, such as a particular African tribe eats a low carb high meat diet. He is usually wrong. As one hockey coach said, he talks crap.
I saw my mum and sister. Always putting themselves out there. I worked harder. I never made mistakes. Always putting someone down, to build themselves up. 😢I struggled to have confidence in myself, because, I was not dressing right , my hair wasn’t up to par. I should push harder to go up the ladder. When they worked way less than I did. And, could not take comments, or critics for their own work. They were the best…
They are always hyper critical, but have the thinnest skin when the focus is on their own flaws.
my ex's partner is 10000% like this. He almost makes me sick just listening and looking at him. The arrogance and smugness drips off him. He has no friends. He meets people at work and next thing you know he's inviting them over for drinks but you never see them there more than once or twice. They get a good taste of him and dont want anything to do with him. This has happened dozens of times over the last 25 years. His favourite punching bag is my ex.. he demeans him relentlessly and knocks him down every chance he gets. The only reason i went over once in a while was to see my ex who remains my friend but 2 years ago I told him Im done putting up with this prick and ive never been there since. Every 9 months or so my ex will suddenly say "why dont you come see us... he misses you, you havent seen him for a year" and each time i say "i told you i dont want anything to do with him so stop asking like ive forgotten what I said". Tbh, I feel he is evil. I jsut can not stand to be around him ever again.
Believe your guts...that is the cue many ignore
Are you guys men?
Fun watching, but I am so sad to have a reason to land here.
Are there any narcissists out there who are specialists in their field?
We get a kick out of making people feel like chumps even when their right . False sense maybe but fun .
Galavanting was that word for me.
(Like a certain 'orange' public person? lol. I've always been amazed how a narcissist keeps trying to sell you the idea they're superior to you, yet still want to be fast friends. Why would anyone be friends with someone who thinks like that about you? duh!
Self-administered questionnaires will be highly inaccurate for narcissists because they will answer the questions as their idealised false self and not how others truly see them.
The most annoying thing I find within the family is when a parent and a couple of siblings join forces to demean you and try to make you feel like less and bring up things from 40 years ago as if that has any bearing on today. They never quite grew up and are stuck in the past and holding on to grudges for decades for things you have long forgotten. Secondly, would be that friend who takes the idea's you have shared in conversation and they attempt to make them their own or the ongoing debate on things such as God that cannot be proven and are pure indoctrination. I find most to be hypocrites and they can't help but point a finger at other's for the very behaviors they display themselves. The pot calling the kettle black syndrome. Thirdly, and worst of al, is the spouse who unjustly uses the legal system to play the victim while destroying you with their lies.
The pious or „spiritually evolved“ narcissist is also a big one. They take new age spiritual teachings such as „I choose to live in love“ and pretend they have changed and are now enlightened but their actions remain shady just with extra love and light sprinkled all over because they act from love and forgiveness (they have no one to forgive since they are the ones torturing everyone around them and when the other confront them they go „oh you are focusing on the negatives and you attract more of it while I focus on love and everyone (the strangers who only see their mask) loves me). They are hilarious. They spend all day listening to podcasts and have all the „right“ values and opinions but just in words or in action just because it shows how great they are. Also basically telling their victims „it doesn’t matter what u think of me because I have forgiven myself, I have found peace with myself“. Meanwhile everything is burning around them, they have lied and cheated and all but they have every time the capacity to „find peace with themselves“ so it doesn’t matter if you are having a hard time forgiving them cause they have forgiven themselves. Also if you continue to be stuck in what they did to you then you are spiritually unevolved. 😂
This is my sister in law. We're in this world to serve her needs.
They call others "average" 🌝
They also like to build a cliche to bully or pressure others to enforce their power over them.
"Harrison Ford is a failed carpenter" 😂😂😂
Scary!
Yes, my ex even tried to challenge me on the treatment of tax deductions. I am a CA and CPA. He is not.