INFJ PERSONALITY TYPE EXPLAINED | Why INFJs Undervalue Themselves
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- čas přidán 20. 08. 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today we're talking about why INFJ's undervalue themselves and has a lot to do with the lack of SE that we experienced as children, believe it or not. So in the end, the reason why we undervalue ourselves is that we allow others to give ourselves value. We always look for that, and this is the barometer of if we're valuable or not, and this is not something we want to admit to ourselves, but that's how our default state operates. So today we're going to talk about why this is happening, how this is happening on such a subconscious level that most of us are not even aware of, and how we can reverse that trajectory.
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In what areas do you tend to undervalue yourself?
Business Endeavors - you and my other mentors have stated in so many words “Don’t Look for others to give you the value that you haven’t given to yourself” and my precious ideas are not exempt from this.
This most times don't come naturally for me, it's just not my way of thinking and doing things, but it works out when I put my relations with someone in that kind of state. I always use the analogy of the card game, but in the real life it's even better. It's so simple, the last ace is always in you, you just have to be awere of that.
I don't under value myself at all. I can't under value myself or I have nothing. It's like petrol in the tank. You can't go negative so I fill myself up with high octane. And in truth when I do anything it is done pretty amazing. So why should I under value myself. But I do think my wife is better off without me. I have never seen my daughter and she is 20. It's like a clay lined pit that I just keep slipping to the bottom. I really hate it cause it is absolutely no fault of my own.
What? My daughter was my trump card and she appeared in the other person pack. "What am I to Do?"
I caught a fish today on a Rod I make from palm fronds and coconut shells. And it was really yummy, I buy one but I don't have no money. OMG, double conflicting negatives. What does that means Mother Wizard? Sometimes I just want to evaporate.
Bravo! INFJs rarely are arrogant, or selfish, that's why they are often taken advantage of. Thanks for the reminder to love yourself first!
This is so reassuring. I've met so many arrogant and selfish people who don't reflect on their behaviour and wouldn't dream of apologising to others yet I'm constantly 'dimming my light', apologising for my mistakes (no matter how minor) and afraid of coming across as arrogant or selfish. I will try to be easier on myself now. Thanks for your insight!
Very true; I've met them
16:33 “Just because you have the strength for the that doesn’t mean you put that energy into it”. Do I have the energy to invest? yes - is it healthy for me to do so? No. This still feels like I’m doing something wrong - but I know it’s right for me to keep healthy boundaries and avoid seeking validation from over-extending myself with people.
"Put your actions first before your mindset can adapt"- Wenzes. People won't believe what you say but they believe what examples you've already set. You're brilliant Wenzes!! I feel so good looking at what you've achieved personally as well as the value that you've been consistently providing on this channel. I had always been trying to go overboard and deliver more than what I would receive back. And it always disappointed me subconsciously. Thanks for shining your light on us. It was truly the need of the hour.
Great video Wenzes! 👍🏼
I used to always undervalue myself in friendships...Which also bled into me doing that in relationships, as well. I no longer do that. I would always just go with the flow, not because I didn't care, just because I was down for whatever. But always had my boundaries, they were just MUCH looser than they are now. Back then, I'd still occasionally go and do something I wasn't really interested in, just so my friends, or a girl I liked, wouldn't get mad at me. But if it was something I was completely against, I'd still have no problem saying no, or make up some excuse like "I don't feel good", or "I have a migraine (I do get migraines occasionally, so it was a legit sounding excuse fo rme 🤣). But now that I've become this 2.0 version of myself, I have no problem standing my ground, and just being like, "Nah, that doesn't sound like fun... I'll holler at y'all later..." and then go home and play guitar, or find something else to do that sounds like fun. 👍🏼
I KNOW my worth...And if someone can't recognize it, then I don't have time to waste on them....Whether it's a potential friend, or a potential girlfriend.
This is mind-blowing. I relate to this on many fronts. As an INFJ, I definitely 'dim my light' so others don't feel too bad about themselves around me because I know not everybody can handle me externalising the rock-hard self-belief and ambition I have. It can make them feel inadequate. Now that I realise others interpret this 'dimming the light' as me being low-value, I am committed to no longer hiding my gifts from the world; it is no way to live. Thanks for the video. Your insights are amazing.
I have a co-worker that challenged me right out of the gate. I dimmed myself for a while to allow her to feel comfortable, but then I realized no amount of respect I show her is going to stop her from feeling threatened by me. Now she makes sure we work opposite of each other unless absolutely not possible. This situation has worked better for me. Im being noticed more and I feel like my natural self. 😊
You hit the nail on the head with this video. I'm definitely someone who learnt to wait for other people to see my value and feeling like if I am the one to demand a certain level of respect, then they're only giving it because I asked and it doesn't feel real to me.
This is so on target!🎯🎯 I didnt think of this as being an INFJ behavior tho. Ive been looking back on the past and contemplating on this one all week! I must admit ive gone overboard so much and been disrespected and undervalued that im struggling with self-forgiveness. But im grateful to be awakened. No matter what, "Everything is working to my advantage." Thank you Wenzes! You are the BESTEST!💐🌸🌷
The pep talk I didn’t know I needed
I struggle with this because I really just think people should see my value on their own but I guess they can't because they're blind lol. This is a good perspective shift.
I really appreciate the highlighted sentences
if someone is giving 30%, and you try giving 70% in the hope that they will step up to the plate, the most likely result is that they will shift to giving 25%, ...
How to stop the anxiety if any past incident or a person that you don't want to be remembered comes to your mind and you become anxious and also sometimes in making steps infj get anxious how to overcome it without compromising your steps?
This video is GOLD. I don't know why it has fewer views... #underrated
Thank you for these videos! Dear INFJ (Wenzes) Thank you for all the help you're providing us with
This truelly came at the right time ! Great video!
Amazing 💖
So glad to hear this again! I believe i finally got it
Absolutely true Wenzes 😟
Such a great video thank you
And that's is why I enjoy my own company, my future or relationships insights gets met with cricket bows. So I just do my own thing while my predictions and insights come to fruition. Its humbling to say the least...still searching for that ENFP girlfriend that loves our minds *sigh* and values a rare, introvert alpha male.
Wow.This is helpful, as usual. Thank you!
Yet, somehow we're at the control of people who have no idea the value of the individual.
So helpful. Thanks Wenzes.
So good! Thank you!
A general point here that just occurred to me. We talk of weaker and stronger functions. But what about the shadow or 4 missing functions? They must play a big part in their absence. Ne Fi Te Si for INFJ
such a cute pout from a sharp sweet and surprising cookie. thanks
Damn……Thanks for the smack in the head with some Truff.
Right 🙌
This is applicable to my princess syndrome daughter that disrespects me quite a bit, I have Cut her off and she doesn't even notice.
@zdss I have done that already. I've done quite a bit used most every tool in the box and nothing makes any difference. I just ignore her, several weeks later or months for that matter like nothing ever happened. Never brought up never talked about. Avoids me avoids the subject. Uses Snapchat to communicate. Even then I wait a day or two to respond. Still nothing like what happened where were you nothing. She's empty with a stone heart. 24 years difference, she's 30.
@zdss right, she seems to do a real good job to avoid that moment when that opportunity. I am looking for the timing to discuss with her. I will not do it over the phone it's face to face we are states apart she travels for a living. We got together last month for 3 days and she didn't really seem to Value the time. I did not hear from her on Thanksgiving oh, I have traveled back to the Homeland as well as she does for Christmas. I'll see if she mentions it between now and then. I'm not going to go travel to see her and have her treat me like shit because gratitude I have walked out on her I have told her to stop talking to me the way she does. She is very pretty and she is also I've been disrespectful. She has the emotional intelligence of a child, no filter on her mouth it is not self actualize reflect. I have decided I will treat her like the adult but she claims to be and she's not going to like it. She knows I can be very crafting an effective choose my words wisely and I'm capable of verbal jujitsu. The personality that I am makes it this way so I will choose the time and place. Even if I do go back get together with her I will definitely have alternatives it's with her family and she pops her mouth at me I will then go nuclear with her in front of everybody like she has with me in the past. I do tend to mirror Behavior. Thanks for the info.
@zdss I'm afraid I don't have any of those, I've been bummed out recently but otherwise I'm functional with a security clearance.... I'm not the one that thinks it's normal to go radio silent for weeks months and not say anything about it. So my next move is to just stay away if contacted direct her to go talk to somebody show listen to cuz it sure ain't me.
Gees, unless you told me I never would have realised it
Gee's it's like you can read my mind
Too late
You are so spooky.
So how do I get out of the trap?
Who are you?
Do you hate me?
This video is somewhat off to me. Sounds like you're describing an infant INFJ.