HEY BABY! HEEEEY BABY!!! | Cards Against Humanity
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- čas přidán 31. 05. 2017
- Cards Against Humanity sinks to even new lows in a brand new episode!
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Tyler ► / apocalypto_12
Ethan ► / crankgame
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Tyler: muscles
Mark: muscles
Ethan: blue hair
And puberty
Ssg998 that’s what makes him special 🥺
Is it rong I ship them
Gamzee or sollex Hehehe who lol
Gamzee or sollex Hehehe
Pardon
"What left this stain on my couch?"
Ethan: Prince Ali. Fabulous He. Ali Ababwa...
11:29
@@kindasus2232 You are a good person, thank you
That made me die laughing
Price Ali fabulous he allah ackbar
Mark trying to communicate with me.
Ethan: "I really like 8th graders"
Everyone: you shouldn't have said that, you really shouldn't have said that
Me(a 9th grader):fuq I missed my chance to be like by Eef
I’m a year behind
Me who’s going into 8th grade
Bruh I am in 8th 0_0
It's okay, Ethan looks like an 8th grader
15:25 I love how every time Ethan finds something really funny, he looks to Mark while laughing to see if he is too 🥺 It's like a little brother trying to impress his older brother it's so adorable
*_d a d d y ‘ s b e l t_*
@@jakebello7988 🤣😭
or someone looking at their crush to see if ✨they✨ also found it funny
@@RuthlessTrash85 its an autism thing unfortunately, not a love thing
ik me and other people with autism do this to pick up on social cues
@@AJSketches why does it being an autism thing stop it from also being a crush thing? Idk if I'm autistic but there's def times where I look at others to see social cues and there's also def times where I just want to impress someone, crushes included
"What's that sound?"
*"daddy's belt."*
;))))))
Time stamp plz
@@tlogic3179 15:23
f u c k m o u n t a i n
No dad I did my homework
eef: "when puberty finally hits"
unnus annus: puberty simulator
Momento Mori friend...
Unus Annus.
memento mori
Memento mori
Memento Mori
-Unus Annus
0:22 “it’s okay. Some day, you’ll be a big boy.”
That just reminds me of that moment from unus annus where mark is blowing ethan’s balloon in a very provocative way saying “who’s a big boy” and Ethan goes “i WILL be”
Hahaha yes I remember that! Memento mori
god the memories
“I’m about to be 😏”
unus annus moments that no one will ever have the context to
@@RoroWolf1137 phone. on the table. NOW
15:29 just the way ethan says “Fuck Mountain” and Mark and Tyler’s laughter after is amazing
“We’re approaching it, Frobo! It’s Fuck Mountain!”
May I present his majesty King Shit of Fuck Mountain
@@loki4807 And his servant, Monseiur Del Cum
So uh. Whales actually f*ck in missionary, but there's another whale under them so that the two up top don't float away. Pretty much the worlds most dedicated wingman.
VenomousButterfly I need a wingman like that.
X naM ageM Reversed its called a bed.
PiccoloPam2368 It's not nearly as interesting that way.
tru
and now we know. thank you for spreading this awesome and hilarious knowledge hahahahaaaa XD
Mark 2017:
“Time is a social concept”
Mark now:
“Time marches on”
Memento mori
Yes
*mmmm yes*
Happy Unus Annus
Memento mori
Unus annus
Unus annus
Mark's last words to the children at 13:55 were:
"It's never the children like you that go missing"
*And then he remembered the eighth graders.*
Is that a reference to A day at the Park?
ethan: “i’m gonna go with lots and lots of abortions”
us government in 2022: “no you won’t”
NOVEMBER UPDATE! YES HE WILL! :D
@@MDreamerIsBi December update: Roe v Wade has not been reinstated??
@@gamerofedge8111 January update: for some states abortion is legal
lmfao
🥺
"hey, Ethan, you wanna communicate later?" "dude totally" "what left a stain on my couch?- Mark trying to communicate with me."
srry , ruined your 69 likes
i ruined the 169 likes 😔
Omg
i died at this
*crankiplier has entered the chat*
lmao
Ethan: “Total F**ken chaos club”
Me: “don’t you mean literally any Middle school club”
No it's total fucking chaos
For me it was 6th-7th poetry club it was literally all just depressed teenaged girls. We listened to music (lots of panic at the disco, and twenty one pilots.) I find it ironic now that everyone said there favorite song was Miss Jackson by panic @ the disco and the woman who oversaw our club was also Mrs. Jackson.
Our middle school has an anime club and shit goes down in there.
Lol so true
True thou true....
Ty-lor: Lord of the Ty's.
E-tan: Titan of the E's.
Muh-arch: Archangel of Muh's.
Muh truck!
2017 Ethan: Imagine a horse worm.
2022 Blitzo: Worm Horse
Present day me: well that's quite the CIONCIDENCE!!!!!
YES IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT IT
cucumber slowly easing onto you:
THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING. All I could hear in my head was lil kid Blitzo as the worm horse saying "I HAVE NO LEGS!"
Mark : someday you'll be a big boy
Unus Annus : EtHaN fInNaLlY bEcOmEs A mAn
i was thinking ab the "ethan will be kicked in the balls" video when mark gets down on his knees nd is like "whos a big boy"
Later on: tries to make bed of nails, and fails miserably
ameliaaa Four months from now there will be no context
Alba Tris we’ve gone past the 100 day mark
Funnier now that they've done the Puberty Video
Mark: “Baby’s not listening to me.”
Me and the intercom: “It seems Baby is having a hard time listening right now, why don’t we remind her of the task at hand, with a controlled shock.”
*zap*
F**K YOU THIS WAS THE FOURTH TIME YOU DID THIS TO ME TODAY!
Oh I just made a comment like that lol
bAbYyYyYy BaBy CoMe BaCk!!! BaBy CoMe OuT!! *broken zap* uhh oh...
@@Saffirin
Jared is that you?
@Cristal Cat this is how you were made, Baby-
Lmao.
Ethan: What left that stain on my couch?
Also Ethan more quietly: Mark trying to communicate with me.
Team purple, Crankiplier away
If only Ethan knew what a big boy he’d truly become.
"Who's a big boy?"
"Well I'm bout to be~ ;D"
Ethan: Imagine a dead horse!
Mark: Thats so sad :_(
Ethan: "Continues to laugh harder"
Danky Kang BROTHER! I HAVE FOUND YOU!
@X11 Robinson lmao its bitch not b**
@X11 Robinson Too afraid to comment "bitch" on the Internet?
SAME THO
X11 Robinson its ethan
One day Ethan will be a big boy so he can wear a muscle shirt with the rest of the guys lol
I had just read your comment and then looked at the video when it was paused and then I realized that it was sad
At least he is small enough to get in free on stuff cuz he looks like a little kid
@@TheMzSippi omfg this is gold lmao
*heapass enters*
No
15:29 i love the insane laughter
markiplier: someday youll be a big boy and youll be able to **slight pause** i don’t know
ethan: yeah. once puberty hits.
"What left the stain on my couch? Mark trying to communicate with me."
-Ethan 2017
*prince ali, fabulous he, ali ababwa*
Simpler times
My absolute favorite Ethan line:
"What left this stain on my couch? Prince Ali. Fabulous he. Ali Ababwa"
*i offically cant breathe and need to wash my pillow*
O.o wash your pillow. .. but why?
@@kennethwilliams6916 crying from laughing too much
@@kotaRAAAAAHHHH ah cool. And yea mark and gang are a treasure trove of idiotic laugh materials.
@@kennethwilliams6916 true. 100%
I love it too the first time I heard it I laughed so hard I choked which lead to me puking as I had been drinking as I began laughing
Mark, you _HAVE_ to bring this series back, I’m _begging_
YES! They should all reunite for AT LEAST one game!
@@matildakristensen541 I need either one more Cards Against Humanity video, or a new Markiplier Makes lol
6:25 Ethan has my sense of humor, a really fucked up one
“Hi. I’m Ethan.” and i’m 14. slaying all these women with my massive-
Head of blue hair
THE VIDEO XD
_m a s i v e p e e n_
PEEN
Big peen
😂
"A horse with no legs.......*mark in deep thought*..., that's sad..."
Rusty Gameing its funny how he reacted tho😂
Do you know what you call a horse with no legs?
Glue.
Don't they normally use the horse's hoofs for glue?
do you know what you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef
Mish Posh * flashbacks to animal farm *
4:44 I guess no one is gonna point out that this literally looks like a meme all by itself.
I mean his face, the sound he makes, the t-pose, and the squatting is just all meme potential.
The last great laugh I got playing CAH, it wasn't even the card. The prompt was something like "We're gonna build a wall and make _____ pay for it!" somebody put "a happy submissive" to which I mumbled "But I'm too poor" and one girl I was playing with died laughing. We didn't repeat what I said until afterwords, and that raised a lot of questions from my friends
That is so fucked up, but hilarious.
The five stages of grief:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. *Slowly going down on Cucumber*
5. Acceptance
Unus annus: 👁👄👁
Omg I was looking through the comments to see if anyone noticed 😂
@@MysticLife444 me too but i didnt find any so i commented it lol 😂
😀🤚
I’m still in denial lil
@@admiralthecat just got to the cucumber phase.
“what ended my last relationship”
“ejaculting live bees, and the bees are angry”
if my boyfriend came bees id also be unhappy
I think he would be too
buy gold bye i hope he’d be upset or i’d be concerned
Joe Mama no thank you
Kahlan Dold what are you doing here?
Only cause I'm gay
13:57
Mark and Ethan had the exact same reaction at the same time!😂
I come back to this video semiannually and I get more and more of the jokes everytime.
I like how they completely forgot the game and where theorizing about whale sex for three minutes
I was laughing the entire time questioning *WHY* they were questioning it *SO* much xD
Then I realized it's because they are idiots
Ragdoll X
Ikr
Do you think they got so curious about it that the looked up a documentary on whale mating mechanics, if that even exists.
32roadsters 1 it takes three whales one holds the middle one in place. I watch a lot of documentaries.
“One day you’ll be the lord of something”
*One day you’ll start a cult*
it just shows if you try hard enough anyone can become a cult leader
UNUS ANNUS BE LIKE
It is not a cult
Unus Annus: And I took that personally.
Memento mori
I think this might have been the first Markiplier video I ever watched. The nostalgia is really hitting hard
Tyler: Smart Responsible Gamer Friend
Mark: The Kind Friend Who's The Boss Of The Three
Ethan: The Neighbors Kid
Mark in 2017: Time is a social construct
Mark in 2019: *Made an entire channel based on the idea that time is always going down, and there is nothing to stop it*
made
M a k e d
Also I'm now your 69th like ;)
maked, pronounced like “naked” with a M
Momento Mori
*maked*
Eef, the the lord of pre-puberty forever.
Ethan: “I mean there are probably people who are into that”
Me: *laughs in ao3 nose-fucking tag*
Ao3 has it all
@@paulinaderegowska4757 oh man ‘nose fucking’ doesn’t even compare to some tags on ao3- it’s frankly a little impressive how creative these ppl get
@@MartiniMouse True
Please tell me that most of those also have xenophilia tags... please, that sounds so painful but I want to find them and read them out of curiosity...
That One Trans Guy Hi I’m tRaNs NoTiCe Me
Legend has it, if you listen carefully in between gusts of wind, you can faintly hear the great howls of....
FUCK MOUNTAIN
I so want to go to fuck mountain
Enduro Also known as Brokeback Mountain
I thought of Charlie the Unicorn. 'Fucking mountain Charlie! I- It's fucking mountain!' lol I love that dumb thing so much!
CHAAAARRRLIEEEEE
CHAAAAAAAARRRLIEEEEE
no dude NO DUDE NO NO NO DUDE NOOOOOOOO
Mark: Time is a social construct
Unus Annus: AM I A JOKE TO YOU!?!?
Memento mori
@@Ghostpetals Unus
@@Ghostpetals Annus
@@Ghostpetals *UNUS*
@@Ghostpetals *ANNUS*
3:40
Is it just me or does Mark sound almost exactly like Scorpion from Mortal Kombat here?
12:46
the council has awarded but one singular yike...
“Slowly easing onto a cucumber...”
“Acceptance.”
If only that cucumber was a nuclear rod
_eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhh_
Oh no
FOR THE SAKE OF EVERYONE IN QUARANTINE, BRING THIS BACK!!!!!
YES!!!!
Please do
Yes
they could easily do digital cards against humanity, theres the diital one they used to play and one that involves less table flipping.
The next Unus Annus video
4 years later and 8:55 still makes my die of laughter
Ethan looks and sounds like a very depressed teen with Mark and Tyler helping him
One time, my dad had a black card. It said: “What is Batman’s guilty pleasure?”
I put down a white card that said:
“Dead Parents”
The whole room was silent for like 5 minutes and everyone just stared at me blankly.
So everyone stopped talking and just stared at you for five minutes, because of that card?
Its Chonick they were just at a loss for words of how dark that was and couldn’t believe that I would put that card down. As well as the chances of that occurring given how the game has so many cards.
Nice
What family are you in that plays cards against humanity with them!
Reitersplash My dad asked who played the card
Ethan: im not the lord of anything
Ethan now being the lord of the unus's: *EEF*
Memento Mori.
UNUS UNUS
Memento mori
Mento more e
@@pinapplear he's a little confused but he's got the spirit
mark: is any of this black mold that could kill is dead?
me who lived with black mold with my fridge for 10 years:😃
Was it good?
That reminds me, I need to wash my bedroom window. That may not be black mold, but I haven't washed that window for years anyway.
"What's that sound? *Daddy's belt."*
I love how for a period of time, they had a civilized conversation about whale sex and how it wasn't possible.
XD
Grace Bug I mean...the way they had the conversation was civilised but the conversation topic...
Little do they now whales just eject sperm into the open ocean to get to the female whale
Grace Bug they were also discussing the logistics of slowly easing onto a cucumber
Grace Bug i totally agree
Mark: *daddy issues*
Ethan: *daddy's belt*
**Todoroki intensifies**
Ethan: *chuckles* I'm in danger
If they had quirks.....
*y e s*
@@mx.sinistxr *tenya n o*
Mina ashido
Mina! That’s not what I meant! Not at all!
6:15 is an Easter egg for Helluva boss fans now
Mark from 2017: "Time is a social construct."
Unus Annus: **Distant screaming from the future**
What if Mark made a “Try not to laugh while playing Cards Against Humanity” video?
Okay! Let's tell them!
We all know how perfect, strong, beautiful, perfect, strong minded and perfect Mark is...
But he won't make it. XD
And donate money whenever they laugh
dont do that, dont giv me hope
They'd fail before the game starts
I forgot how much Acne Eef had back then.
*He*
*is*
*now*
*a*
*M A N*
He is amazing
Yeah, looking at recent Unus Annus videos compared to these days, his skin has gotten so much better
*im a man*
@@norafassler5183 Can't wait fir my face to clear up too
How much acne he had back then reminds me about how much acne I have now.
13:50 Free ice cream YO🤣 It whouldnt be funny without yo
"Everybody join hands and close your eyes, do you sense that? That's the presence of crying and shitting and eating spaghetti in this room" ~ Ethan 2017
"I really like 8th graders" Ethan - 2017
SLR Beats
Good thing I'm going to ninth now!
SLR Beats wait Im in 8th grade, RUN
LeafeonHeart21 same
Fuck I'm in eighth grade...WELP, FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT
*dashes through the conveniently placed door*
i'm going into the eight grade
Mark and Ethan: *laughs at messed up cards*
Tyler: *laughs at the word poop and butt*
Me
7:13
i havent laughed that hard in a *while*. jesus that had me *crying*
No one:
Ethan:
"I really like eighth graders."
Me, an actual 8th grader 😳
He'll never be able to run for office.
Fox News Moderator - Candidate Ethan, is it true that you once said quote, "I really like eighth graders?"
Ethan - *deeeep breath
Damn. I just became a nineth grader
@@epohthedragonwarlock4318 Just say your an 8th grader with a year of experience.
@@waveydaveysonfir3 feels good to be a ninth grader
Mark: *says intro*
Tyler: I’m lord of ties
Ethan : I’m not lord of anything, I’m just lil ol me.
It my favorite goddamn phrase
“i’m jus lil ol me”
Giddeon?
I’m surprised but not surprised Bakugo watches CHA and/or Markiplier
Fax
Y e s
MelTheOof that’s just my widdle secret
14:26 I really like 8th graders. - Ethan, 2017
7:19 don't mind me this is just so I can remember my favorite part lmao
Fun Fact:
A tsunami is caused by whales aggressively making love to each other.
TylerIsABean Oh my Josh!
John Shedletsky Why tho? It's just a joke bro
TylerIsABean love your picture and Tyler is a bean
That's falsehood!!! (Reference btw)
Lyrical Shadow Q
I died when Mark said “No! *W H A T I F I F U C K E D Y O U R N O S E* “
I paused the video to look through the comments and just came across this and I'm very excited to hear mark say that cause I already know I'm going to die laughing
Lmao
I killed mice elf when he said *I F I F U C K E D Y O U R N O S E* its much better than that
Omfg same.
same
coming back to this in 2022, the "gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry" card is a hell of a lot funnier now that i know i'm nonbinary
I feel like my gender can only be conveyed through the feral noises of cryptic beings
But what is a gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry?
Neat
5:44 was my favorite part. 😀
“Everybody hold hands and close your eyes. Do you sense that? That’s the presence of crying, and shitting, and eating spaghetti in this room.”
-Ethan
Fluffy community?
@@shangtsungsdannydicheeto8353 sketti
I didn't know Ethan played phasmophobia
It's not even a ghost, it's just some dude in the corner of the room.
Mark: *Talking about gleeking with Tyler*
Eathan: "Have you ever thought about writing poetry?"
Trashy Waffle "Actually yes, I have." Fucking hell.
Trashy Waffle Ethan is me
Time?
Me watching this: okay Mark needs to calm down and stop talking about whales banging...
Bob years later in Raft: okay Mark needs to calm down and stop talking about bees banging...
I'm sensing a pattern here
I think the the five stages of grief are:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. cooking with sex toys
5. Acceptance
"I was the horse with no legs." - Ethan 2k17
This is much better without context so
Exactly
Beautiful
Weirdo Otaku105 I-I'm sorry but I just have to point out, I really like your icon, Ochako is life 💕 o-okay thank you for listening, I'll be on my way now
Weirdo
I didn't see that part and was so confused. now I realize and omfg
Mary had a little lamb
With fleece as white as snow
It when down to a club one day
And dropped it hella low
*twerking sheep*
Mangle Dangle aye I saw that in tumbler/Pinterest 😏
Baka Karma *tumblr
Mangle Dangle lol
Mary had a little lamb who's fleece was black as coal. It crept into her room one night and *ate her fucking soul.*
I Need Healing I saw that !
Mark: buff
TylOR: buff
Ethan: stick
Mark and ethan literally have the best chemistry
I like how Ethan thought that the horse with no feet was funny but mark and Tyler thought it was sad😂😂
I was freaking crying that was hilarious to me
Elizabeth Sepulveda same
I nearly died from suffocation because of that and Marks description of how he thought it meant XD
Elizabeth Sepulveda I was laughing with Ethan.
Elizabeth Sepulveda i was laughing because i was thinking about a cow with no legs yesterday.
Seeing old Ethan compared to new Ethan makes me happy that he got his acne so cleared up
Boy Yeetus did he. Still looks like he got it.
@@gothuwu313 Yeah but it's not as bad as it used to be.
Katie-Clare Ard I genuinely appreciate that I wasn’t the only person viewing this video rn-
Markiplier Makes: Almost Socially Unacceptable Jokes
Okay but I love the subtitles, props to whoever did them-
Total f*ucking chaos club is our class in 4 words
Broodje Kaas is that supposed to censor it?
Amber Pugh ye
No
Your probably not Australian
Steele Casey nah im not Australian but sorry if it offended you
( Im Dutch btw)
Nah you alright
“When I pooped, what came out of my butt?”
*An unstoppable wave of fire ants*
That's gotta burn.
Whale Goosh
man, I knew there was something in that Taco Bell
Drago’s Random stuff has the most underrated comment
A zesty breakfast burrito.
“Someday you’ll be a big boy”
*3 yrs later*
“Who’s a big boy?” “I’m about to be 😏”
13:09 to 15:20 the funniest part of the video to me.
The way whales mate:
One whale is upside down underneath the other whale. There is a wingman whale that's underneath that one to support the other two and help them not float away. So basically, it's the largest threesome in the world.
More like the worst case of friendzoning in the world (poor supporting whale)
kinda like being a thrid wheel
Jacob Williams I'm glad that I now know this
you learn something new everyday
King Cookie tell me about it
Does any on remember marks poem if you don't it's and I quote.
You Do You
I'll Do Me and
We Won't Do Each Other Probably😂
Jay The Bay aaaah the memories
Jay The Bay That's a good poem, I should write that down...
tell me why i read that in the tune of Barney's "I love you"
Isay that all the time
D G your not alone here lmao
I've watched this so many times over the years that I have little reaction anymore...I used to laugh so hard I couldn't breathe. Its so funny. Still gets me sometimes.
I'm sorry, but the quote "What if I f*cked your nose?* Is absolutely unhinged and I love it.
"I'm jus lil ol me" - Ethan
When he is really tall. When pooooberty hits. 😂
I think it's hittin him pretty hard right now
Is it true that Ethan still wears diapers? oOo
loving.geek13 corgasm
He's already hit it with all that redness on his face...
"what's that sound?" *Daddy's belt*
Whhooppsshhh
(top o` the mornin` to ya laddies)
@@ogresarelikeonions3816 WHEEZE Noooo not Jack--
I would like your comment, but it's at 420
@@secondary_friend5169 nooooooooooooooooo it's 421
Wha-OH MY GOD NO
13:45 to 14:29 I showed my two friends that and they loved it
"It makes me want to learn how to gleek.." Oh Tyler, you will..
Hey baby come back to my place and I'll show you my pet named steve
Anyone?
VidaMate6 Awesome.
VidaMate6 That actually made me laugh 😁
Yep
VidaMate6 I think you have a terrible case of a pet named Steve 😂
VidaMate6 w
Ethan: What's the sound?
Dan: *It's the sound of me noping.*
emo bandito 👏🏼Y👏🏼E👏🏼S👏🏼
emo bandito Yeeeessss
you hear in the distance
*FUCK MOUNTAIN*
MyY PEoPLe
Jademonas - WE'RE APPROACHING IT, FROBO... *_FUCK MOUNTAIN..._*