Six Steps to Life-Altering Change for Addicts and Convicts | Moe Egan & Tim Stay | TEDxBYU
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- čas přidán 1. 06. 2017
- Maurice (Moe) Egan grew up in East Oakland surrounded by drugs and crime. Even though he found success in sports and later working for Coretta Scott King at the Martin Luther King Jr. Center, his drug use and criminal behavior spiraled out of control. He found himself homeless and asleep standing up in the middle of a busy San Francisco intersection soon to be arrested for the seventh time. Moe and Tim Stay share six steps for transformational behavioral change that have helped Moe and the tens of thousands of others like him change their lives. Together, Moe and Tim share the philosophy taught at The Other Side Academy to help others who are lost obtain lives of sobriety, integrity, and fulfillment.
While in jail, Moe heard about a place called Delancey Street where he could change his life. He wrote to them and was accepted.
At Delancey Street, Moe held many jobs and eventually was given responsibility of the newcomers, charged with with guiding them through the most critical first months of their stay. Moe completed his two-year commitment and stayed on two more years because he loved what was happening to him and those around him.
He graduated from Delancey Street and was hired by a leading tour company in San Francisco, working his way up to managing the operation and was eventually transferred to oversee their Las Vegas operation. Last year, Moe joined the staff at The Other Side Academy in Salt Lake City and is now helping save lives of others who have hit rock bottom.
Tim Stay was formerly the CEO, as well as a co-founder of Unitus Labs. Tim Stay started and ran Marketing Ally, which became one of the Top 50 Call Centers in the U.S.A and had over 1,110 employees. He started and later sold FreeServers.com to About.com. He was a co-founder of Bizcradle, a business incubator that launched such technology companies as SenForce, which sold to Novell. Tim was former CEO of Perfect Search Corporation, an innovative search engine and software development company.
Tim was voted as one of the vSpring 100 technology entrepreneurs in Utah and was recipient of the Distinguished Alumni Award from BYU. He has served on the Utah Valley University Foundation Board and on the Advisory Board for the Center of Economic Self-Reliance and the National Advisory Council for Religious Education at BYU. Tim holds a civil engineering degree (B.S.) and also has an M.B.A. and an M.A. in International Studies, with a focus on economic development in developing countries, all from Brigham Young University.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
This is a wonderful video. I’m 37 & in recovery but went back to drugs and alcohol continuously. My sobriety never stuck. Today is day #1 again. This time I will do it!
You can do it
How ya doing. I hope you didn’t go back. You gotta see a new way of being. Have confidence that you can do it. I don’t know you but I really really wish you get in the other side and have a beautiful life.
Keep trying! Dont give up! There is an answer out there for us! We can find it! If you fall, dust off, lets go again!
I hope your life is going good and you are staying healthy and treating yourself well. Don't Ever feel that you are fighting alone! You have a Huge family that is behind you even if you never meet the majority of us. Keep on keepin on.✌👊
Hey you. If you're not posting updates then you ain't honest.
Good on these guys. My Mom is amazing. She's Muslim and we don't do drugs or alcohol. But she gave a lot of second chances to addicts at her businesses. She just hired a family who's dad was a long time meth/crack addict. Not only that, she gave them a place to live. And because of this job, the man cleaned up. All the employees have always respected my mom, and I'm so proud of her! 💕
Not surprising considering most of the meth addicts leave their addiction after getting a job AND a sense of responsibility/meaning in life. Switzerland is a great example of meth heads turning sober after government gave addicts small jobs and cheap housing. Good wishes to your mum
@@arhamshafi7175 Thanks! I think more people in America should follow my Mom's example! 💪
@@magnolia8626 More people EVERYWHERE should follow your moms example.
@@arhamshafi7175 I agree!
Wonderful share 🙏🏽
I lived in an Oxford house for eighteen months, which is basically the same concept. I now have four years clean, and I am about to graduate with my BS in psychology, on my way to a master's degree.
Rock on.
Make the magic happen.
Keep up the great work...your an inspiration
So happy for you!!! You got this!!
(FARTHER) Your last name describes the long distance that separates you from empathy and truth. This is a story of triumph over tragedy. Isn't it worth the taxpayer investment to return our fellow humans into a wonderfully productive member of society? People DO NOT wake up one day and say gee..this is a great time to ruin my life, and while I am at it let me destroy my loved ones as well. Addiction is a biological issue, but I would venture to say you are probably not interested in knowing the truth. Please, would you do me a favor and review your life? Can you honestly say you have been perfect, never made a mistake or never overate, gambled, smoked drank, work etc... too much...not one blemish on your record? If so I would love to meet you because your name is GOD.
I teach this at the college-level and I am taking notes! Best on addiction recovery I have heard yet! Wow! Thanks for posting!
Are you kidding? You teach college and you've never heard of cognitive behavioral therapy?
Good for u:) addiction is more complex then ppl think, and if u pearsonaly haven't over come it yourself reading about it doesn't give u the same understanding
When you can function for a while it makes it even more addicting.
Act as if...or for people like me-fake it till you make it! Thanks guys. I watch stuff like this to keep me clean. I mess up sometimes but talks like this bring me right back to where I need to be.
Yes I am working on both spiritual love and self love and I sometimes mess up too, but NOT against anyone else but me. Just like you I jump straight back to saying "I love you self,let's do this again and again"! Love to you beautiful soul ❤
Hey
“Act as if” is from the psychologist Adler.
Wow what a fantastic talk! The loving and transparent way in which core value are invested in this healing process is beautiful and quite clearly works, because it comes from those who are experiencing the issues they are wanting help and support with. I hope this can spread all over the planet🙏💜
The trek to full recovery never stops. There will always be something around the corner. Something else to learn even when sober.
Yeah, I think we should stop using the word "Recovery" though. I don't want to Recover back to where I was before substance abuse.
I was obviously not in the right (or any) state of mind, that's probably why I used/abused I was looking to escape my life in the place.
So I tell myself, Quietly;
I don't want to Recover.
I Want To Be Better.
I'm Changing To Be Better.
I've Changed For The Better.
Safe Travels On Your Journey
@@bradleyjamesss5964
recover back to sanity.
For many sanity is a new experience.
None who recover ever go back to normal nor want to.
Fantastic. Thanks for all involved.
Great job brother Moe, your experience has proven to be invaluable to myself and many others to come.
He's your brother?
Commit a petty crime at 19 today, though, and it will still stop you from finding decent work at 50. Memories were made to fade, but now people are chained forever to small mistakes made in formative years, which makes any idea of improvement impossible.
Poor me! That was my crimes fault.
Victim mentality. 30 years later still no improvement.
I am still having the same problem at 60. No matter what I do it always ends up being a question of my criminal history when trying to make a big step forward with my projects.
Kaeben yeah it's a big problem.
@@TyroneThomasJr where you at brother?
I totally understand. My family and I have spent 7000 dollars in a 10 week period on hotel rooms because our very old criminal history keeps us from even being able to rent a place to live. We hear things like you don't make 3 or 4x the rent so we can't rent to you...so stay in the hotel room where you're paying 10x the rent.
I loved it. Been clean from meth 18 months and I used 17 years. (my 38 year old husband died from complications sepsis of IV drug use). How I gave up? I didn't like me the user so one day I threw the drugs away, reconnected to society, kept it honest, and kept each day trying to be a better version of me and I got healthier and now I inspire people. Thanks for the video and love xoxo
We need this model in every city.
“I brought me with me” wow......I’ve seen addicts move but the addiction follows
can you explain why he said that please I don't get it
@@MonkeyDLuffy-zv8sg often it is said that you must change people, places and things. Toxic environments, places with low sober support systems, and places in which you'd be hard pressed to stay sober in can keep you in active addiction or make it more likely. When you start over somewhere else, if you don't work through some key elements of understanding why you used and what you can do to maintain sobriety you will pick the addiction up in the new location.
I did it moved a couple towns away to get away from the people I was hanging with and ended up moving in next door to a drug dealer
This is powerful, especially when Maurice describes being grateful for getting honest feedback that hurt, wow.....
This sounds like a combination of Motivational Interviewing & souped-up 12-steps. I'm in recovery & a Master's program to become a Forensic Psychologist. I love this recovery model. We need more of these centers across the country.
"Dude, this is not you. You're better than this." Best mantra when you EVEN THINK about unraveling your life with unproductive and detaching whims.
...and when you’re done “unraveling your life”, the mantra I use is “live in the problem, or live in the solution! Simple as that!
@@markg.4246 die in the problem, live in the solution.
lets not forget its fatal and progressive.
Spent 6 weeks in treatment in Tampa for food, not an eating disorder but rather food addiction. Shortly after getting out in spite of all my aftercare having been put in place for reentry, I relapsed. Many years I’ve spent around the halls reliving the learned helplessness of a philosophy that “works if you live it” I left in February for the last time and am pleased to have found an alternative.
Whats the alternative?
This is truly a powerful message or ill say this SHOULD BE a powerful message and an eye opener to this entire world, its everything an addict could ask for in a sense of recovery and its exactly the way all rehabs should possibly be ran. With this kind of approach in taking the steps to be the best version of yourselves/ourselves id have to agree that millions of more addicts could absolutely get the sobriety that they all want and deserve including myself. I've been an addict now for 19 years and desperately want that to change but struggle so much on how to go about it in a way it will actually work for me. Much respect to this guy and all others who are in recovery and doing much better and best of luck to all who are trying everyday!!
great talk, keep the good work!
Powerful and beautiful.
I’m crying right now because this concept was my dream when I was in prison it’s very nice to see it in action! Thank you Jesus for bringing that dream a reality for making the vision so clear in my dream that night that you also brought my mother to me after she passed away after my father passed away I got to see her standing tall waving at me and she said hi Jane! I have been looking for you! It made me feel that I wasn’t alone and it helped me get through that long 4 years! This is what I told my husband I wanted to be a counselor because it would help me help someone else and it will help me stay clean and constantly hold me accountable on a daily basis I just can’t believe I’m hearing my dream verbally and that it works!!!! Amen thank you thank you thank you
What a powerful story, thank you for sharing!
Very well said, Moe
Awsome. We need more places like this!
Awesome presentation Mo
Love these lectures. I can relate to so much of it.
So many of these discussions begin with "I was arrested". They didn't begin with wanting to change, they were forced to. When you have money in your pocket and a reliable source, i.e. the nearest liquor store or a trusted drug dealer, "wanting to quit" isn't enough. I think many people who hit bottom do it as a subconscious way of forcing their selves to quit.
This video is amazing.
This is very inspiring
Thank you
Great story!
Underrated ted talk while It's providing practical steps that work.
Sitting down with people who have lived experience as been a life changing for us on our channel. Addiction is tough, but I believe we need to do better as a community and ensure that we defeat stigma, as well as support people so that less and less people turn to addiction.
Very encouraging!!!
Super happy for this guy--and that society gets to benefit from his talents now that he is not using drugs. I am also happy that this program has such strong "brand loyalty." But, I have to say the claim they are making is exaggerated. There are many paths to recovery--as many paths as there are addicts. It's not great for the recovery community when one program says it has "the answer." That kind of talk silences other valid ways of recovering--and may make someone who doesn't benefit from their particular program feel like they have no more options. The old quote remains true. When it comes to recovery, "let a thousand flower bloom." We need more programs period. Not just more of ONLY this program.
So good !!
Thanks I took lots from your talk. And I just want to say thanks, for me it's linked parts of my recovery together... God Bless
Thank you! I am an IOP therapist and a wonderful way to talk about values being caught not taught!
I have had an addiction to smoking weed and have gotten clean and sober survival times, but for some reason, I always seem to want to smoke again even after a long period without it
Whoah, I had no idea he was involved w/ the other side academy when I chose to watch this. I went to the other side while on a vacation in 2018. At the time my future was glowing & I was in grad school, I went home & even wrote a paper on this place for a business ethics course. I think what the organization is doing is what every city should be doing. I ironically chose this video bc of addiction (my life is trashed now). I think what they’re doing is awesome, I hope it keeps growing!!
God Bless You, my friend!
Omg! This is the exact structure that I was putting together and thinking about doing for women and then I found you thanks for making this video it just shows what I'm thinking I'm on the right path to help
a year later would you be kind enough to share your experiences and lessons learnt whilst you implemented your program
Great advice!
So so great 👏👏
Amen Brother. I am so impressed by this presentation. And I am grateful to God for sobriety. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you for honesty and for posting.
Thanks, I can actually use it for my lecture notes.
YES! EXCELLENT!!
You would be excellent to rockclimb with or do some thaibo climax sessions x
I hope there is one in NJ. This sounds amazing.
Great story!...Great program!!!
This was a fantastic talk. I'm going to listen to it many more times. I have become inspired recently to create a life skills center that partners with the crisis pregnancy centers around northern Utah. Your model seems very promising, and I would like to meet and discuss something similar for this project.
Hey Ali I am interested in replicating the model too .can we talk once you get this message .
I’m so proud of you. It is hard to overcome the stress and chemical addiction. The chemical addiction population need help !
I wish we had that here
I love this model. I am an A&D counselor and I totally believe in this model. I would love to start something like this in Klamath Falls, OR.
Do it!
If it were that easy in the 60s and early 70s when you were wanted on the field or on the court I was taking shots.on Tuesdays and pain killers on Saturdays after the games this happened over and over. I was all state in 2 sports and a handful of scholarships that I didn't receive from the athletic director until the week of graduation and telling me he didn't think I was college material and the journey began!!
Okay, nice. Act as if, immediate action, each one teach one made sense.
I've managed to start messing up taking a huge chance on loosening it all if I haven't already I have never had anything and that I have beautiful kids and a wife and all I wanna do is stay clean and mentally healthy for them
interesting talk
Not all addicts are bad people, some have a line they won't cross, not even for money or anything, if you still have a line you won't cross there's still hope for you, but once you cross that line there's no coming back from it.
Not true at all we do cross lines you're so far away from you're principles you're like 2 people 😌
Zach faucet went their right I was in DELANCEY STREET with him and he was helping build out a similar Utah location we were together in SF 2014-2016
Not into the shaming tactics. It can train us to be dependent on other people's feedback and approval, or to believe that other people are our authority. The addiction is simply transferred into relationships. For some people that's exactly what they need. But I'm trying to understand my own self destructive behaviors and want to transfer the addiction onto positive hobbies, I just cant bear to force myself to do it
Hannah Miller other people’s feedback could be a jump pad, if you surround yourself around people who promote behavior, it’ll eventually influence you in the long run
I guess they are different ways of achieving it but at the end it is taking responsibility for ourselves, accepting the stepback and keep trying. Good luck Hannah 💖
I feel down, when i get a chance to use i always take it. Ive made some progress but im struggling to take the final step. I used to wake up everday committed to using with no real goal(otherthansuicide). I would use untill i literally couldnt buy anymore every single dollar i had would go to drugs everyday. Id steal food at the end of the day just to put off the hunger pain. Ive stopped the everyday thing and worked to a time period of between a week or 2 but as soon as i get a chance i relapse and become completely consumed. I go till i just cant buy anymore then wait a week or 2 and do the same. I feel pretty weak everytime. i wonder if ill ever truly stop. Its like part of me just doesnt want to. At first i thought this was rebellion or commitment to bringing about my own destruction, now i just dont know anymore ive worked on my soul/self alot but when i get a chance i let it take over and i cant take back control. In a very real way im not seeing any progress. Im still doing exactly what i used to just less frequently and for less of reason. When i start i always think that i can handle it but by the end of the day i just fail myself. I have a mental illness that adds stress/difficulties to my life/perception of reality i hear the voice of a thing that constantly wants make me feel miserable or small and alot of the time i dont want to go on living I dont have some grandiose reasoning for stopping Im sure ill die worthless and meaningless.
But i dont want this. I dont want to be a freaking junkie i dont want to die a freaking junkie. I started using because i thought maybe its a good way to commit suicide maybe id overdose in a bando and nobody would find me in time. I wished for this begged for it even. I still have times when its all just too much but i know the drugs wont change that. Its just this isnt working, you know.
Dame Dose Your addiction has a hold of you so tight that you cannot see a way out if it. But your here watching this video. Your reaching out for help. I hear you. Iv been the same way myself. It's like you have no choice anymore. Before you know it youv scored, it's in your hand & your sitting there thinking, why am I so weak? Sometimes you have to admit to yourself that you can't do it alone. The pull is too great. The best advise I can give you is to go to a treatment centre & get out of the environment your in right now. Give yourself a break. And a chance to recover. Sometimes we have to admit defeat. It's too much for us to do alone.Your stronger than you think. Much stronger. Sending much love & support xx
Stop those bad thinking of yours, if you commit suicide it will be a great shame.
Please be strong and determine to stop taking drugs! Stop now for you can!!!!
Sounds like this is organised like a "therapeutic community". Really cool story.
It is..."the therapeutic value of one addict helping another."
We need a place like that in my area 😭 I want to become a counselor or work on one of those places.
I love you all.
A great story the thing is in the Uk we have nothing live the treatment and self-help you got and the few places that do it you must pay for the care lots of ppl want to stop abusing drugs but just can't find a way out you were one of the lucky ones
kohl ceallais here in the USA we do have a lot of rehab programs, but the opiate problems here are unlike anywhere else in the world. And you may have missed it when he explained how Delancy street is very different from normal rehabs. It’s the opposite of most rehab facilities, It’s extremely difficult, and is very “tough love” and is designed to break you down (and eventually, build you back up, if u make it that far.) To hear that he graduated after 3 years is amazing, I’ve only heard of the hundreds that don’t make it a few days or even hours before they leave or get kicked out (and not for using). I live right outside SF, and have heard a lot about it through meetings, Not to mention it’s right in the tenderloin area of SF which is basically the area where the homeless are allowed to use/sleep/stay so that it stays in a few block radius. Most people would rather go to prison rather than go there...constantly getting emotionally beaten down and following the crazy strict rules there...Although it’s rough, it’s exactly what many need to rewire their broken thinking, and change/save their lives. It’s amazing and is the only answer for some, but is not anything like a place where people would actually want to go to
It's not easy
@@torihawthorne6732
true.
It's simple, not easy.
I need more information please about this program
I pray you do bro it’s hard for me same story 34 days I did and fell off here and there since like I’m in control but I’m not
"Education NOT Incarceration"
Is the way forward for healing social taboos relating to substance abuse and even mental health issues.. That my thoughts anyway..
My niece has been in and out of rehab/detox like six times. Each time, she relapses and does the same behaviors. Wished she could have found this program!
Cynthia Hawkins If she's relapsing, she doesn't know any other way to be ok. Look at how ACE - adverse childhood experiences- affects addiction. I think a long- term recovery community is best (connection is the cure for recovery) but getting therapeutic help to deal with her ACE, joining a recovery fellowship - like a 12 step program, refuge recovery, and women for sobriety - and possibly medication assistance also works. I hope she finds her answer.
there are no lost causes.
She might also be struggling with ADHD. There is a direct correlation between untreated ADHD and addiction, and effected individuals can stay sober coming out of programs with proper care.
Cynthia Hawkins Speaking from experience, what we do in rehab does not determine whether we will live or die. Knowledge is not the key, only action will save us.
Where can I get hold of this course.
Wow. In 1936 they started this model. AA and the 12 steps!! Meetings are everywhere and you'll find fellowship love service opportunities and step work, so you can access the power to have an amazing life not filled with fear resentment and insanity but instead Peace Love serenity joy happiness
I'm in Kenya with approximately 100 street boys who desperately want to change. Please advise me more, and thanks for the insight
did you get some helo mary?
Seems like a lot of commenters here feel the need to stick up for AA or NA. Delancey Street and the Other Side are different from those approaches, first, they give addicts an address - an actual place to live for two years - and second, they give them a job. They are not paid workers, but their rent, food and all the programming is free so they are basically paid room and board. When you are a homeless, unemployable addict just having an address and a bathroom means a world of self respect.
This is exactly what i need. But how do get passed the initial withdrawal symptoms? And are u still medicated?
@@A_Walk_In_Their_Shoes Here's something for you skeet.
It is my bad luck that this has happened to me.' No, you should rather say: 'It is my good luck that, although this has happened to me, I can bear it without pain, neither crushed by the present not fearful of the future.' Because such a thing could have happened to any man, but not every man could have borne it without pain. So why see more misfortune in the event than good fortune in your ability to bear it?
You don't go to the gates of he'll you open them and walk right through but my god it's worth it 😀
Are you in Canada?
Nice story, i think its amazing u had the power to bounce back. Just one thing, what do u suggest for someone that cannot get past the physical dependance. Withdrawal is all to real, it hurts and is by far one of my biggest fears.
Samantha Hicks hi Sam how you doing
Look up igobain is really good for opiate addiction
look up Kratom. it will change your life, it lets u detox with very minimal withdrawal symptoms.
Suboxone
Go to a treatment center that has monitored medical assisted detox and will give you some residential clean time.
1. You have to want to change
I’ve been addicted to adderol and Xanax for 6 years and desperately want to stop taking the prescribed doses . Having trouble dealing with withdrawals . Is there any hope ?
Don't know about adderol but I got off xanax by taking pregablin. Covers up the wd's very well. You still feel a bit rough but it ain't too bad. I did it while still working. Only take the pregabs long enough to get you through the withdrawals. Dont get addicted to them. Good luck, hang in there bud
@@paulg4815 Did your doctor give you a script for Pregablin? I see is't used for Fibromyalgia etc.
👏
Well this sounds freaking amazing. I wonder if cigs were allowed there
Dude, go to Na/AA and see a therapist who does cognitive behavioral therapy. That's all this is.
The war on drugs has been a horrendous failure ...... this not jail is the solution
They do know how to change. But the world puts them down. We know theirs consequences but we also know those consequences aren't justified for today's day and age. If they do their time don't leave a record staining their potential.
1,000,000 views this should be all jails.
As soon as they get the drug supply out of jails who fixes the corrupt that flood our towns with drugs the biker gangs at least only released set amounts
i always “act if” i never stopped for drugs
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼😊
Doesn’t matter what program you go to, if you have number 1, there is a good chance you will stay sober.
I was a coke addict in St. Louis @ age of 41 yrs old! How did that happen??? I could write 3 books!
Do it!!!!
💙❤💚💛💜
This is essentially a vet group for addicts.
When I say profiting. You are paid a salary correct?
Can someone help me. I had no ides where to even start
Are you in the states? What are you using? Hello
Attend an N/A meeting
@@simond.7912 I have 6 days. Started listening to the leads here on utube. Its the longest i have been clean w out jail in years.
I like theses guys a lot, but its not like they re-inventing the wheel. they are just re-writing AA/NA . Brutally honest..AA is RIGOROUS honesty. But hey its all good, just get straight. Godspeed.
Delancey Street gives them a place to live and a job. AA doesn't do that.
@@whitebranch With all due respect, what good is a place to live and a job, when life has become unmanageable? they will just lose the job and the place to live...again ...and again. AA/NA spoon feeds you the basics in life to get back on your feet again and stay there. They need to understand right and wrong, so they can make good decisions and then rebuild. People can give you stuff and money , it will not work until you rewire your brain. That is what AA does.
i sometimes wonder how alcohol is legal...
Gotta look in the mirror and say I love you. Do it for yourself. Do nice things for you.
peers morgan
how can they help someone else if they are not healthy themselves? it seems like this is too simplified in the area of addiction
How about 12 steps?
Sure. Repeat steps 1-6. Done.
Cults
Wow same story sports surgery Santa rosa facing 5 urs in prison or 2 at DELANCEY STREET FOUNDATION DR.MIMI SILBERT saved me
Mariya IVASYUTIN 2021