I was imagining a video about "imitation crab" at grocery stores. They claim it is fish, but we all know its made of mice, wood shavings, and recycled cardboard.
We are just gonna have to make our own Real Crab Conspiracy. We could conspire to plan a Crab Heist, or plot a Crab Murder, or we could form a Lobbyist group and use anti-crab propaganda to manipulate Government Officials into committing some kind of Crab Genocide. I don’t have the exact details worked out yet, hit me up so we can conspire about it.
0:02 I’ma stop you and the video right there… what is a crab because I do not know and unless I get a response I am not unpausing the video. Edit: waiting for a response from stoic, only he can explain and get me to unpause the video and finish it off… also some of these responses got me in tears 😂😂😂
Thanks Stoic Stick for supporting landlord rights. As a landlord, I have no qualms about doing a thankless job, but seeing my hard work being appreciated once in a while does make me very happy 😊
Thank you so much for posting this!! As a hardworking landlord I let in far too many squat lobsters who I thought were crabs and literally none of my last tenant's 230 friends he invited even cleaned up after themselves leaving this awful stench. This is an outrage as NONE of them have ever paid rent, they just skittered away when I got too close to them, shows how truly illiterate and cowardly these squatters are.
Biologist here, the reason the porcelain crab has all those colours is actually pretty interesting, it's because it's the only known creature to actually care about manlets, manlets of course being able to see things that small due to their size.
I love your videos, but PLEASE make the background a dark color. Me and a lot of others watch your videos at night or in bed and it’s like a flashbang😭🙏🏽
It gets worse for the coconut crab. They're closely related to the hermit crab. In fact, they even do the same exact homeless schtick while they're still small
2:31 "Plastron" is a word used in French. It literally means "front body armour". Yes, it's used for human armour too. That's where the word comes from.
I've seen crabs before... but... can I really trust my memory? It's actually really hazy, and it might just be me misremembering. I thank thee for thine inspiration.
I mean we call isopods, amphipods, spiders, centipedes, millipedes and mantises bugs... if we are being pedantic, beetles and weevils arent even "true bugs"... just because it isnt a true crab doesnt mean it isnt a crab, just not classified as a true crab...
There’s no way you just said King Crab is 2/5 on the crabbiness scale but put the Squat Lobster in 3/5 even though one doesn’t look like a crab because it’s literally called a lobster.😭😭😭
Stoic stick sold me fent behind a Costco bathroom
I sold stoic stick fent behind a Starbucks. Mfer resold it at a higher price
@@snakey1315 I'm reselling fent that stoic stick sold me that he resold from snakey1315. Want any?
Which Costco?
@@Folkmoot all of em. he's got clones all connected to a hivemind and they call themselves the stoic tree
@@Folkmoot Seattle center
Imagine just existing for 350 million years only to get roasted on the internet by a stickman who says you are 2.3/5💀
Conspiracymaxxing when
That's the entire channel
I was imagining a video about "imitation crab" at grocery stores. They claim it is fish, but we all know its made of mice, wood shavings, and recycled cardboard.
They took out the wood shaving now it’s packing peanuts
@@tomfox9083 ffs thats why my crab giving me allergies
Dude is so random that's not far from reality
What kind of bougie store do you go to that it contains any actual meat?
and it still tastes amazing
We all know the real crabs are the friends we made along the way
Yah they the real homies
Given enough time all your friends will evolve into crabs
real crab conspiracy when
2037
I mean, it is in the final part of the video, no?
end of video
Right NOW
We are just gonna have to make our own Real Crab Conspiracy.
We could conspire to plan a Crab Heist, or plot a Crab Murder, or we could form a Lobbyist group and use anti-crab propaganda to manipulate Government Officials into committing some kind of Crab Genocide.
I don’t have the exact details worked out yet, hit me up so we can conspire about it.
Someone’s crabby today
That was a crabby pun
Where's Alexei
@@wandfresser Germania
alexei lives
Alexiei has hidden in minecraft.
Bro the hermit crab slander is diabolical
Giving a hermit crab a 1 in coolness and vibes??
and the mini bal statue bros acting like hermit crabs go to epstien island
Coconut crabs also murdered amelia earhart and ate her corpse.
Trve
Based
No the government franed them and the fbi ate her
@@StoicStickNah, the Crab-Rothchilds called in an airstriike.
Cat Conspiracy when?
no i did
stoic makes me giggle like a school girl when he comes to my house and makes me pay my taxes
He hearted my comment now my pants are all wet
@@BellatorAmericaewhat.
@@mrfrog0913 you heard me boy.
ever dutiful to our crab overlords, that’s how we know him
Now that you mention it, I don't know how giggling sounds like.
Eugene crabs better be in this video.
Mr. Krabs is a real one tho
"they pay their whole rent plus tip" must be the most offensive thing ever said on this channel
You should check out the landlord maxxing video then
The worst part of coconut crabs? Imagine spiders the size of dogs who can climb trees. That's your coconut crab.
Sweet dreams.
Somehow that's still significantly less scary than actual spiders to me.
@@haganame1240well they are known to occasionally eat pets, maybe that helps?
They also eat human corpses and are the reason we can't find Amelia earhart's body.
im crabmaxxing soon enough i will grow claws
As the good LORD intended. 🦅🦅🦅🦅💯💯💯💯🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥💥💥💥💥🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🛢️🛢️🛢️🛢️🤠🤠🤠
Stoic Stick saved my grandmas heart from working anymore by helping it take a nice rest
:SD_NekoShrug:
0:02 I’ma stop you and the video right there… what is a crab because I do not know and unless I get a response I am not unpausing the video.
Edit: waiting for a response from stoic, only he can explain and get me to unpause the video and finish it off… also some of these responses got me in tears 😂😂😂
sea demons who have terrorized sailors for centuries
sti
most genetically engineered organisms on the planet. they’re the alpha species. we r betas to them☝️
@@3_ormorecharactersunderrated comment
@@3_ormorecharactersunderrated comment😂
13 minutes of fake crab slander
and landlord praise
5:59
I hate rentoids so much it's unreal.
I guess other creatures are like: “man, I wish I was a crab!”. Then became a crab.
Fact: Crabs sell fent to Sherlock Holmes.
2:15, I got absolutely no clue what any of those words mean
People waiting for REAL crabs tier list 👇
I am people
We got squat lobster so where's the landlord crab
True crabs will inherit the earth
Waiter! Waiter! More Amelia Earnhardt please!
Crustacean eaters when they see a disgusting insect writhing on the ground in its own filth:
"How delectable 🥵"
He is going to loose his mind when he sees crab rave
No views in 14 seconds this guy is washed
I think stoic just wants us to think HIS crabs aren’t real.
Good stuff lately, a monkeypox theory would be epic, and fit well with the smart monkeys vid
Or just tax evasion or Hobo harrassing tutorial
Coconut crabs ate amelia earhart
em' crustations are real ones to me
Thanks Stoic Stick for supporting landlord rights.
As a landlord, I have no qualms about doing a thankless job, but seeing my hard work being appreciated once in a while does make me very happy 😊
Thank you so much for posting this!! As a hardworking landlord I let in far too many squat lobsters who I thought were crabs and literally none of my last tenant's 230 friends he invited even cleaned up after themselves leaving this awful stench. This is an outrage as NONE of them have ever paid rent, they just skittered away when I got too close to them, shows how truly illiterate and cowardly these squatters are.
Fun fact: everything eventually evolves into a crab, that's why there are so many species that look like crabs
What is a crap? It is what comes out from my intestines when I devour these ultimate life forms adapted to thrive known as crabs.
There's a theory that if we met aliens, they would most likely look like crabs because so many creatures evolve to look like crabs.
You make my stick become stoic. The.
3:10 you will subscribe
This is the ideal arthropod body. You might not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.
reject monke, evolve to crab
Is this a Black Myth reference?
what would seneca think about pineapple on pizza
I just crab my pants with this info
Next time I eat a burger, I'll make sure Krusty Krab use real Krab.
Next...Stoicism as taught by crabs? 🦀
popping open a good old bottle of wine before watching this should be fun
Bro is in his conspiracymaxxing era! 🧐🗿🗿🗿
0:26 Stoic stick's using PSYOPS again I see
Never stopped
Stoic make a video on fraudmaxxing before I become ticklish..
Biologist here, the reason the porcelain crab has all those colours is actually pretty interesting, it's because it's the only known creature to actually care about manlets, manlets of course being able to see things that small due to their size.
I like men
Land bugs: "ew that's gross I'd never eat a bug."
Giant water bugs: "Please can I have more?"
Do you eat lobster shell?
@@CPU9incarnate no, I don't eat bugs no matter where they came be from.
@@DudeManDude-ot5fv shell fish are not bugs, they have meat
Bugs have meat@@CPU9incarnate
@@runningsandwich no they don't. They're all chitin and slime
King crabs taste great but are really just overgrown seas spiders
Despite making up 13% of the crab population hermit crabs…
I paid my rent this month like a good citizen
how are there so many damn comments in under a min of a post? lol
People with post notifications on
No views in 37 seconds the fall off is insane
1:32 CRAB BATTLE
imagine uploading 3 minutes ago and not habing 100k views
stoic stick
stoic stick
Hahaha the cheeky “you will subscribe “ above the crab. Fucking subconscious stuff amazing job mr stoick
I LOVE CRABS.
Thank you for spreading the truth🙏
Unnaceptable hermit crab slander
I love googling these crabs and looking for the exact reference image used
I love TRUE and HONEST crabs.
This video offended my hermit crab. Good thing no one cares what hermit crabs think.
You forgot to mention that Coconut Crabs are basically hermit crabs during the early parts of their lives before leveling up into robber crabs.
crabs are just ocean spiders
One minute only 27 likes he fell off
I'm not a 40K nerd, but I've heard that Squat Lobsters were in 1st edition, then shoved into the memory hole, but have been brought back recently.
I thought that this was a "fake" conspiracy about crabs, now knowing it is all too real.
If crabs were just 10x bigger, i think we would have a global problem
gotta love the subconscious messaging to subscribe, i could smell it out.
I love your videos, but PLEASE make the background a dark color. Me and a lot of others watch your videos at night or in bed and it’s like a flashbang😭🙏🏽
Now the word crab doesn’t make sense, I know it’s spelled right but it doesn't sound right
Babe new stoick stick video dropped 🥹🥹
I thought this video would take a very different turn
It gets worse for the coconut crab. They're closely related to the hermit crab. In fact, they even do the same exact homeless schtick while they're still small
Ive been coming across so many channels lately that make me feel like im on acid and arent making sense lmao
2:31 "Plastron" is a word used in French. It literally means "front body armour". Yes, it's used for human armour too. That's where the word comes from.
When you’re saying ‘physiognomy’ you’re actually trying to say ‘physiology’
I've seen crabs before... but... can I really trust my memory? It's actually really hazy, and it might just be me misremembering. I thank thee for thine inspiration.
as a crab myself im proud of this video
I was enjoying this video before you brought up the 11 billion crab incident and I just had flashbacks to that Goons + Swaggersouls session 😭
Cat Conspiracy when.
Day1
There comes a time in any video creators life where they will eventually make videos on crabs convergently evolving.
Psyop at 1:04
I mean we call isopods, amphipods, spiders, centipedes, millipedes and mantises bugs... if we are being pedantic, beetles and weevils arent even "true bugs"... just because it isnt a true crab doesnt mean it isnt a crab, just not classified as a true crab...
Google the definition of crab and all of the "fake crabs" are actually considered crabs... just don't get obsessed with the taxonomic term "true crab"
Whoooooosh
Crabs learning how to use knives i think they are evolving to live in the most dangerous place in the world london
One of your funniest, and one of the best conspiracy videos so far. Loved it! (I now believe your conspiracy)
There’s no way you just said King Crab is 2/5 on the crabbiness scale but put the Squat Lobster in 3/5 even though one doesn’t look like a crab because it’s literally called a lobster.😭😭😭
Drugmaxxing when
real crabs like money
You should make an app that lets people hire homeless crabs to do all your dirty marine work.
Love the alien crab spaceship theory 😂🤣😂
9:05 ayyyy I predicted this in your post about this vid
Coconut crabs are hermit crabs. I would like you to reconsidered your score
My hermit crabs ate a lot of my snails for being fake.
If all the stoic stick conspiracies are found to be true we are cooked 😭😭
I was fully expecting a portion about the coconut crabs to talk about Amelia Earhart