My Thai Wife Died of AIDS

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  • čas přidán 17. 08. 2024
  • In this emotionally charged video, we delve into the devastating story of a British man who unknowingly spent eight years of his life married to a Thai woman who carried a hidden secret. It was only on the day his beloved wife passed away that he discovered the unimaginable truth-she had been living with HIV all along and had chosen to keep it a secret from him.
    Prepare to be moved as we navigate this heartrending journey, where love, trust, and truth intersect in ways that will leave you questioning the boundaries of love and the strength of the human spirit. This video is a poignant reminder of the power of honesty and the dire consequences of silence within the most intimate relationships. #thairishtimes #thailand #phuket
    Subscribe to our channel: ‪@ThairishTimes‬
    Help support our channel: bmc.link/thairish
    00:00 Intro
    01:13 Moving to Thailand & My First Thai Girlfriend
    08:26 Moving from Pattaya to Phuket
    11:12 The 2004 Tsunami
    12:17 Married life in Phuket
    15:21 My Thai Wife dies from AIDS
    25:59 How I dealt with my wife's death
    30:05 Changing my name to Hong Kong Phooey
    33:28 How do you deal with the unanswered questions?

Komentáře • 1,5K

  • @yourdadsvan6763
    @yourdadsvan6763 Před rokem +487

    Thank you Pete for letting my share my story. Nothing but love. ❤

    • @ThairishTimes
      @ThairishTimes  Před rokem +39

      It was a pleasure Gary, wishing you nothing but the best

    • @lawell2006
      @lawell2006 Před rokem +28

      Well done Gary for being brave and sharing you're story. Very heartbreaking. Big love to you.

    • @yourdadsvan6763
      @yourdadsvan6763 Před rokem +11

      @@lawell2006 thank you.

    • @andyburton8346
      @andyburton8346 Před rokem +10

      I recently heard a very similar story on Thai talk with Dan

    • @dgs931
      @dgs931 Před rokem +12

      Keep strong fella best of luck ;)

  • @deeeeeee988
    @deeeeeee988 Před rokem +843

    I think it's absolutly disgusting that a person would not disclose a potentially life ending desease to their husband /wife

    • @SG-wx8zm
      @SG-wx8zm Před rokem +106

      I used to work with HIV patients. There was a patient I remember who contracted HIV in Thailand and point blank refused to tell his wife. This was despite doctors telling him that if the wife became sick and died, he would be facing serious criminal charges.

    • @SG-wx8zm
      @SG-wx8zm Před rokem +54

      Did she even know? I met a 72 year old lady who was diagnosed late in life and genuinely couldn’t even recall how she’d gotten infected.

    • @patremagilbert682
      @patremagilbert682 Před rokem +17

      Terrible

    • @donaldlangdon
      @donaldlangdon Před rokem +19

      many dont in the thai bar industry

    • @tsitsidzumbunu7968
      @tsitsidzumbunu7968 Před rokem +11

      Sad story

  • @tashaw3636
    @tashaw3636 Před rokem +351

    As a nurse ive had so many patients from Asia talk about the hepatitis epidemic there as well. Always get tested in the beginning of a relationship and if your partner not willing to get tested may be hiding something. I hope this man will find healing and peace of mind.

    • @exnihilo415
      @exnihilo415 Před rokem +13

      While Hep is curable most people have no idea that you can buy a used Lamborghini for the same amount as a full treatment course.

    • @ivoted7199
      @ivoted7199 Před rokem +4

      Good advice!

    • @pearlperlitavenegas2023
      @pearlperlitavenegas2023 Před rokem +1

      ​@@SwethaG-tu8qgabsolutely!

    • @jumpiam8477
      @jumpiam8477 Před rokem +13

      When I applied for a green card, I need to provide a document to prove that I am free from all the transfered diseases. I forgot what is that form call.

    • @hanawolfgang
      @hanawolfgang Před rokem +4

      Wdym u had so many patients from asia? You live in asia? 😂 Asia is not a country yk

  • @pysiux7371
    @pysiux7371 Před rokem +252

    My husband secretly traveled to foreign countries and he was cheating when he was supposed to be traveling for work. Once i found out i never shared a bed with him again. I divorced him and have lost all trust in men. I praise God daily that i never contracted anything from my ex Please always be honest with the people you claim to love. Im praying for everyone who has been hurt by their spouses and hope your lives will be blessed. 🙏🏾❤

    • @user-ng6ed9er4y
      @user-ng6ed9er4y Před rokem +40

      I had to go throught the same thing except that I was pregnant when he did that. I am happily divorced now. Cant blame the prostitutes, they are just working...

    • @candyluna2929
      @candyluna2929 Před rokem +20

      Yuck...he was probably with underage girls. I wouldn't want him to have custody of the kids

    • @thisisme3238
      @thisisme3238 Před rokem +18

      Lady, you made the right move...letting him go!

    • @nenala7684
      @nenala7684 Před rokem +4

      Now how did you figure he was sleeping around? Foreign women don't call or text lol

    • @lifeisimportantkate
      @lifeisimportantkate Před rokem +15

      I agree that happened to me. I cried when I found out. I ran to the clinic to get tested. I was cleared of all STDs I divorced him straight away.

  • @gisgndecan0111
    @gisgndecan0111 Před rokem +67

    As an outsider and not related, I felt a strong relief hearing the test was negative!!! All the best to you, Gary!!!

  • @zandilenkabinde9058
    @zandilenkabinde9058 Před rokem +269

    It is cruel to knowingly have unprotected sex when you know you’re HIV positive.

    • @daughterofenoch677
      @daughterofenoch677 Před rokem +10

      It's a rough world these people live in. They do what they have to do.

    • @JohnS-gf4sz
      @JohnS-gf4sz Před rokem +23

      Cruel? Beating your dog for pissing on your carpet is cruel. This kind of shit is straight evil...

    • @sugarpuff2978
      @sugarpuff2978 Před rokem +5

      ​@@JohnS-gf4szYou think beating a dog is okay??

    • @JohnS-gf4sz
      @JohnS-gf4sz Před rokem

      @@sugarpuff2978 Where in your peanut sized brain did you come to that conclusion?

    • @tinam761
      @tinam761 Před rokem +2

      She may not have known …

  • @exnihilo415
    @exnihilo415 Před rokem +446

    This is exactly why with any relationship you get serious about, always go with them to the doctor and do a full STD panel. It costs almost nothing and then you both have piece of mind. People will spend enormous amounts of money on a relationship and then not even do the most basic bit of healthcare. Boggles the mind.

    • @user-jh8no1zb9e
      @user-jh8no1zb9e Před rokem +24

      i dont know anyone thats ever done that

    • @exnihilo415
      @exnihilo415 Před rokem +44

      @@user-jh8no1zb9e Annnnnd that’s why STIs are such a big problem. Stigma and negligence.

    • @graerindley6312
      @graerindley6312 Před rokem +5

      different people feel differently about risks, freedom of choice.

    • @exnihilo415
      @exnihilo415 Před rokem +23

      @@graerindley6312 Obviously. You’re welcome to play a dozen games of Russian roulette if you wish. I won’t stop you. Go right ahead. Be my guest. I’m not in a relationship with you.

    • @packageism
      @packageism Před rokem +13

      Not all of enter into relationships with bar girls and dubious women

  • @indiragandhi6445
    @indiragandhi6445 Před rokem +289

    As an Asian woman this is my advise: most of these foreigners have been in too many countries and most are into different women too so be very careful in dealing with them. If you happen to have a relationship with them, take extra precautions by not dealing with unprotected sex or better yet submit to a test..your health is the most important. Dont just get in bed with them. A momentary flirtations could cause you your life...in the same manner than men should do the same. If a woman in just firrst meeting or 2 get in bed with you, you know then what she does or did with other men..i think i would sound judgmental with this statement but please take this as just a word of caution

    • @pamspencer5733
      @pamspencer5733 Před rokem

      Alot of men are bisexual! And don't use protection! Use a condom every time,trust nobody. So many people lie, it's deadly🕵️

    • @SG-wx8zm
      @SG-wx8zm Před rokem

      It's true; a large number of people with HIV do not even know that they have it.

    • @AnotherTruth
      @AnotherTruth Před rokem +20

      Very safe advice. Thank you

    • @meeshiemaya
      @meeshiemaya Před rokem

      What about the Asian women?! You must be angels, aren't you?! Even a bellend assumes silence when required! Supposedly, everything is wrong with you!😅😂

    • @meeshiemaya
      @meeshiemaya Před rokem +4

      ​@@AnotherTruth; and right as rain!😅 Hehehe🎉
      Utterly diabolical!

  • @lawell2006
    @lawell2006 Před rokem +233

    Very brave man for discussing such a painful part of his past. I wish him all the best in his future. A genuinely nice guy. Much love.

    • @glengamble526
      @glengamble526 Před rokem +13

      He seems like a really good man. Such a sad story.

    • @lovepower1440
      @lovepower1440 Před rokem +3

      How fo you know ???? Just because he talked ???? 😢😢😢😮😮😮

    • @thisisme3238
      @thisisme3238 Před rokem +2

      Personally, I feel sorry for this guy. He knows he will have Aids soon and that he will die from it.

    • @suemount6042
      @suemount6042 Před rokem

      @@thisisme3238he’s tested negative this time so it’s not a forgone conclusion that he will develop HIV and AIDS down the line hopefully he wont

    • @htenajsantos8232
      @htenajsantos8232 Před 7 měsíci

      ​@@lovepower1440😂😂😂

  • @domestix1
    @domestix1 Před rokem +77

    I hope this poor man and their daughter can find peace.The fact he doesn’t blame her and still loves her shows how much they loved one another

    • @fs5775
      @fs5775 Před 5 měsíci +3

      Gary seems like a lovely man

    • @kiwioffgrid2437
      @kiwioffgrid2437 Před 4 měsíci +1

      If she loved him then she would have used protection to avoid passing on her HIV/AIDS.

    • @Winning33
      @Winning33 Před 2 měsíci

      @@kiwioffgrid2437 Very selfish woman it's possible she didn't find out until after hooking up with him but she could have still let him know quite sad.

    • @Mark-gg6iy
      @Mark-gg6iy Před měsícem

      It shows how much he loved her. Any conclusions of how much she loved him are assumptions.

    • @ajkim9151
      @ajkim9151 Před měsícem

      ​@@Winning33 She probably didn't know she had HIV either

  • @TheYoyozo
    @TheYoyozo Před rokem +59

    My heart breaks for his loss. I am also frustrated at how her isolation probably cost her the chance to get the medical care she needed. Looking back, there were already very good treatments that were available for people with AIDS.

  • @taxitoloei2055
    @taxitoloei2055 Před rokem +34

    I sincerely wish Gary and his daughter well after such a traumatic loss.

  • @rubyparchment5523
    @rubyparchment5523 Před rokem +34

    Condolences, Sir. Dealing with a death is hard enough, but to have a shock is too much.

  • @worldview2134
    @worldview2134 Před rokem +136

    Amazing person. A absolute blessing he didn’t get HIV.
    Pete is an absolute amazing soul. I loved this interview.

    • @particleinthewave8378
      @particleinthewave8378 Před rokem

      As long as she was using her meds and had an undetectable viral load she cannot pass along the HIV virus

    • @omega-nf5ku
      @omega-nf5ku Před rokem

      Chances of getting hiv from unprotected vaginal sex with an HIV+ partner is 1 out of 10000 thousand. Not a blessing at all

    • @essohnalvine154
      @essohnalvine154 Před rokem

      Yes he didn't have because she wasn't a hoe and stop having body counts and most importantly taking her medication very effectively so he will be fine

    • @Kekaweek
      @Kekaweek Před rokem +8

      Why have I never found a story of a woman sexually transmitting it to a man?

    • @omega-nf5ku
      @omega-nf5ku Před rokem

      @Kekaweek it almost rarely happens unless its anal sex

  • @margarettownsley9500
    @margarettownsley9500 Před rokem +46

    Big respect to Gary for sharing such a personal story that takes guts especially when he’s still in the process of emotionally hurting I wish him all the best for his future thank you both Pete & Gary

  • @joelb099
    @joelb099 Před rokem +153

    Sad story, but for many thai "working women" , a true story.I also had known a beautiful thai woman (she passed away from aids at age 38. Her name was Kaya. Her story was this: Kaya started working in Nana Go go dance bars from age 17- 25.. Got too old for the bars at age 25, had stashed away some substantial money, so decided to go to school and earned a business degree in just 3 years from bangkok university. But heres where the trouble starts : she had a nice job at a company doing their marketing for a decent salary but Kaya wanted more $.. So at age 32, she went back to into prostitution and became a freelancer only on the weekends. And her regular job never knew the wiser.. She had her own website and was very discrete. But somewhere between age 34-36 she contracted Aids from a client, as she had a policy that if the client paid substantially more money, he wouldnt have to use a condom..I met Kaya just 2 1/2 years before she passed away at my GF's house and the ONLY reason she shared her life story with me is because she knew her health was in major decline and had already been diagnosed by the hospital...One of her best friend is also my thai girlfriend.She looked very sick and frail having no energy and she figured she had nothing to hide so she sat there for an hour and told me her story in broken english...Let this be a lesson to all western guys: Yes , thai women are drop dead georgeous at age 35... but what did she do for work to make all that $$$??... ask yourself that question and get her tested, before you decide not to use the condom.

    • @didiermo7523
      @didiermo7523 Před rokem +2

      Bro i even get scared of having sex with a condom

    • @MariAngelical23
      @MariAngelical23 Před rokem +13

      Thanks for the advice
      If only people would know.

    • @AmberU
      @AmberU Před rokem +25

      I agree you can’t just be reckless because your driven by lust

    • @AfricanUSA-th9ov
      @AfricanUSA-th9ov Před rokem +19

      He Was Chasing After Women With Money And Be Reckless. If You Listen To Him, He Got A Settlement From His First Marriage Before Going To Thailand. He Is Going Back To Thailand To Look For Another Rich Call Girl's.

    • @Iflie
      @Iflie Před rokem +22

      Yeah even here in the Netherlands a prostitute who had a whole family said she'd not use a condom for extra money and if he seemed trustworthy. The very definition of a guy who goes to prostitutes and likes not using a condom makes them untrustworthy. And that woman had zero reason to do that for the money. She could end up infecting her husband and she had young kids to care for.
      You can imagine young poor women have very little choice when it comes to condom use at work but some women make terrible choices by themselves.

  • @davebull5379
    @davebull5379 Před rokem +23

    That is shocking, the poor guy. He has such a good look back attitude so clearly a good man. Hope everything works out for him.

  • @AlphizzleMusic
    @AlphizzleMusic Před 2 měsíci +3

    For the nurses to purposefully not tell him is despicable.

  • @beverlyhills7883
    @beverlyhills7883 Před rokem +37

    Decent, dignified, respectful. We can all learn from this bloke about how to live our lives when adversity comes a knocking.

    • @MsAchampion
      @MsAchampion Před rokem +1

      This is off topic butbi simply adore the way that you all say bloke. Love it! 😊❤

  • @nancylong8237
    @nancylong8237 Před rokem +71

    There's something so very attractive in this man's composure and attitude. He's also very handsome and would be quite a catch to any woman who's willing to understand and nurture his soul after all he's been through! He's a beautiful person. ❤
    Sending love from Toronto Canada. 🇨🇦

  • @Cosmic_Code
    @Cosmic_Code Před rokem +19

    Thanks for taking these taboo stories up with great serious journalism. You have a serious angle and i always respect that. I settled in the first minutes here and already feel sorry for the guy.... Hope things will be better. Greetings/Denmark

  • @MarkBennett007
    @MarkBennett007 Před rokem +13

    The heart mustn’t lead the head in Asia.
    This man is a decent man and his original divorce affected him badly.
    God Bless him

  • @haraldevensen9727
    @haraldevensen9727 Před rokem +58

    This is heartbreaking to watch. I feel so sorry for this man, you can tell his pain goes so deep.... And big respect and thanks to him for sharing this story with the world. I'm happy he did not catch it himself. But what a terrible thing to have to go through, losing his wife like that... Just unbelievable. I wish him all the best for the future. And thanks for bringing us his story, Pete.

    • @debbiebarrow7557
      @debbiebarrow7557 Před rokem +1

      ​@nancysamuelson9357
      God is concerned about our hearts nothing else 🙏🔥🙄

  • @spazmonkey3815
    @spazmonkey3815 Před 5 měsíci +5

    I worked on an AIDS floor in a hospital for 7 years in the 80's (as an RN).
    My question for this obviously devastated man is: How could you not tell she had AIDS? They become tremendously ill with many different diseases at the same time. The muscle wasting alone should have been a red flag months before her death.
    BTW it is difficult but not impossible for a woman to give a man AIDS. It depend a lot on the type of unprotected sex one has.

  • @sirvicemanone
    @sirvicemanone Před rokem +15

    I found out a few days ago that the Thai woman I had met in online dating and had been talking to for over 2 years and was in love with and planning on joining and perhaps marrying in Thailand has HIV.
    I am 68 years old and she is 64 years old .
    It is a very difficult thing to hear from someone I love.
    Years ago I had a very close friend die from AIDS.
    It is a very sad situation.
    Thank you for sharing your experience. Thank you for your channel and sharing interviews like this.

    • @sirvicemanone
      @sirvicemanone Před rokem +2

      I am really grieving about this and even another "secret" she revealed the evening I wrote the previous post.
      I can somewhat relate deeply to the interviewee.
      I'm reeling and dazed and can only depend on my Christian faith to understand this cruel point in my life.
      God bless you all 🙏🙌🫶

    • @yourdadsvan6763
      @yourdadsvan6763 Před rokem +2

      I’m sorry for your pain. It’s possible to live a normal life whilst HIV +. If she is taking the AntiViral drugs she can lead a normal life. Hope it all works out for you

  • @tyhanson2076
    @tyhanson2076 Před rokem +31

    Today the medical industry has changed so much regarding HIV. My Dr. told me that when she has to tell her patients they have HIV, she tells them, "At least you don't have cancer." Think about that for just a moment. It's more deadly to have cancer than HIV!?!?! wow!!

    • @exnihilo415
      @exnihilo415 Před rokem +7

      People with HIV who take the ARV meds have almost a normal lifespan. It is amazing what the ARV cocktail has done for people with HIV. Magic Johnson and Greg Louganis are doing just fine after all.

    • @patienceobongo
      @patienceobongo Před rokem

      Or a Kim Kardashian butt

    • @whitepouch0904
      @whitepouch0904 Před rokem +5

      I know someone who has it and he constantly has to check not just for it but for the health of his liver. The last update I heard was he had some skin lumps. I don’t know if it was related. Don’t make it as if it’s nothing serious. Also, once taken, the effect of his medication makes him nauseous so he has to take every night. If he takes it in the daylight he’ll be unproductive. He is also in constant fear that one day his medication will no longer work and or start to damage his liver.

    • @exnihilo415
      @exnihilo415 Před rokem +1

      @@whitepouch0904 It’s serious but manageable. There are many worse things to have. I know folks with HIV as well. Most don’t have serious side effects but some do. The ARV meds work and there are many different options in ARV meds. The fear that they won’t work is pretty unfounded.

    • @tinacollins9213
      @tinacollins9213 Před 2 měsíci

      Aids even people on drugs still get sick aids destroys your white blood cells so the get bab illness

  • @ijustagirl74
    @ijustagirl74 Před rokem +11

    I watched my beautful Thai friend Piyai die from aids,his wife gave it to him and he was married and did not know..She was a carrier but was never affected.. It hurts still ..God bless him

    • @dharmahmay4125
      @dharmahmay4125 Před rokem +2

      Unfortunately there's nothing like carrier....she either was negative or positive. So sad... may your friend RIP😢

  • @heleng9940
    @heleng9940 Před rokem +18

    So sorry for your loss Garry. A very kind and compassionate man.

  • @user-wg3rr9jh9h
    @user-wg3rr9jh9h Před rokem +13

    Gary “Hong Kông Phooey” Brits is a profoundly loving forgiving person. His love ❤ story, loss, betrayal and forgiveness will make a great movie. Thank you Gary for sharing your story.

  • @padraig9445
    @padraig9445 Před rokem +17

    Gary seems like a great guy! Sorry for you wifes passing, hope you find peace and can move past it all. Glad you are healthy ❤

  • @hmmob3956
    @hmmob3956 Před rokem +16

    Very moving story. This man's pain must be beyond bounds. It is so clear from his eyes.

  • @JuneK618
    @JuneK618 Před rokem +13

    Oh gosh what a heartbreaking story. Sorry for your loss Gary. Thank you for sharing such a personal loss. I wish you the best with your daughter. You’re a very inspiring person. ❤

  • @user-ng6ed9er4y
    @user-ng6ed9er4y Před rokem +50

    How irresponsible, negligent and ignorant is, not to tell your partner that you have AIDS!!! sure she knew it. The fact that AIDS wasnt detected in blood tests, it doesnt mean that there is no risk of developing the illness. I dont understand these relationships with Thai women, zero communication, sexually transmitted diseases, drugs, affairs, infected lovers, no real intimacy, everything is allowed except true love.

    • @Rif-hq9ki
      @Rif-hq9ki Před rokem +11

      This day and age who doesn't know Thailand is a red light district. Proceed with caution with those women.

    • @Valerie-gn1rr
      @Valerie-gn1rr Před rokem +7

      So glad to read your comment! I don't understand many of these relationships either and how naive many men seem to get when in contact to these women.. It's seems that genuine love, without money transactions, doesn't seem to interest these men anymore.

    • @guido3771
      @guido3771 Před 10 měsíci

      Are you interested in knitting your own shirt? No? So that's why you rather buy it.
      There are a lot of foreigners here who are interested in love but do NOT seek it with pleasure girls. The relationship with them is business, service (sex) for money. Both needs should be separated. Many foreigners can't do that.
      If you are looking for a love relationship here, your chances are most probably not better than at home, I would even guess worse due to a lack of cultural understanding and language skills. It needs effort, too.

    • @davidb2206
      @davidb2206 Před 5 měsíci

      True love is not possible for millions of men. They would prefer it, but it is not an option. Also, the testosterone-driven sex instinct is INTENSE, especially in younger men (and thank God for that, which is why we all are here). What would YOU have them do?

  • @sickbuffalo9902
    @sickbuffalo9902 Před rokem +115

    Sorry for your loss Gary.
    Myself and my mate used to go to Thailand a lot and had two regular girlfriends my mate became unwell about 14 years ago due to the fact he had caught HIV, he contacted the Thai girlfriend who he had finished with a couple of years before and she had the test and was also HIV positive.Ever time I visited Thailand me and the wife would meet up with his ex girlfriend as she was a friend of mine and the wife.5 years ago we celebrated new years eve together and we returned home a few days later.6 weeks later we got the call that she had died of Hiv.
    The girl had been in a long term relationship with a older falang for about 8 years and like Garry I dont believe he new and still doesn't to this day.

    • @Gwaycee
      @Gwaycee Před rokem +29

      You might want to tell him about it so that he can take ARVs and other necessary medication if he needs to, to boost his immunity and to prolong his life.

    • @welikegoodies
      @welikegoodies Před rokem +19

      She was a friend that didn’t tell your mate or the new guy she had hiv?
      Knowingly handing out death sentences to men? Sorry but that’s not what I’d call a friend. It’s frightening.

    • @mamahustru
      @mamahustru Před rokem

      So older falang is spreading HIV unknowingly and you are ok with that?

    • @africaine4889
      @africaine4889 Před rokem

      ​@@welikegoodiesexactly

    • @continuousself-improvement1879
      @continuousself-improvement1879 Před 11 měsíci +3

      Tell him.

  • @Bekindloveis
    @Bekindloveis Před 2 měsíci +2

    As expats in Singaporre people know people have been charged in court for not telling a sex partner they have Aids so its a criminal offence

  • @patriciarowe6685
    @patriciarowe6685 Před rokem +15

    Sending you nothing but love Gary. Thank you for sharing your story ❤

  • @feonjun
    @feonjun Před rokem +55

    This man has gone through a lot. Me growing up in that part of the world, it's an unfortunate that a lot of poor and desperate women living in that part of the world have to do what it takes to survive and provide for the family. This is not to take away this man's struggles. I feel for him.

    • @loisaustin6200
      @loisaustin6200 Před rokem +8

      My heart breaks for him, one of the saddest stories I've heard in a long time. I wish him well and send prayers.

    • @feonjun
      @feonjun Před rokem +6

      @@loisaustin6200 It's a sad state of the world. I know it's *_"What If"_* type of thing to say, but it need to be said. Imagine if the west stopped meddling in Asia's political affairs since the end of WW2, but, instead, help Asian countries and making money at the same time for the west, it would be a better world.

  • @miss_kolissa
    @miss_kolissa Před rokem +7

    wow, this popped up on my feed and I’m so glad I watched. Thanks so much for sharing. Amazing story.💯

  • @fs5775
    @fs5775 Před 5 měsíci +2

    God bless this poor poor man. Thank you for allowing him to share his story.

  • @ShawnaLynnn
    @ShawnaLynnn Před rokem +14

    It takes a special person to deal with all of this and process the way he is. God bless the man and is family. I hope his wife has peace wherever she may be.

  • @_Alfa.Bravo_
    @_Alfa.Bravo_ Před rokem +44

    Hey Pete. Thank you very much for making us aware of realistic health risks when we are going to have fun in Asia.
    Feel very sorry for the pain he had to go through, don't think he deserved it. Wish him all the best for his future!!!

  • @BDO1959
    @BDO1959 Před rokem +11

    My condolences to you. What a story. Very brave to share it. I can’t even imagine what you’ve gone through. Hold those close to you tight. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @glengamble526
    @glengamble526 Před rokem +74

    If you understand the survival mindset of some Thai people, it might be easier to understand how she handled this. While I certainly don’t condone her behaviour, I’m pretty certain (if I had to guess) it was fear driven, and by that I mean-she maybe felt she was going be dumped by him if she revealed her health status. Even if she got the right antiviral meds, she’d probably feel he’d ‘let her go’ and she’d not only be without a husband and provider, but that no one else would want her in her illness. And that maybe her and her daughter would be out on the streets, with no money or options. To be clear-I’m NOT saying that this happened or saying he WOULD ‘dump’ her-I don’t know, though he seems to still love her a great deal and seems like a kind person that would have cared for her, regardless. Also, my guessing this to be the case doesn’t mean I think she was a cold, calculating person: more likely she was a protective Mama Bear, worried about herself and her family: it doesn’t mean I’m thinking the worst of her. And please understand-I’m NOT judging anyone in this story-it’s not my place to. Until you’ve walked in someone’s shoes, we have zero right to judge or guess motives.
    That said…
    It was incredibly irresponsible to treat this man that way. To expose him to a potentially deadly virus, without his knowledge. I understand that poverty (if in fact, she was poor or from a poor background) and shame make people do terrible things. But this is unconscionable, at least in my opinion. And with THAT said, I’m glad she’s no longer in pain or suffering. I’m sure she was a good person, essentially-as you can tell he loved her very much.
    This story could have a had far worse ending for both. I’m glad he’s ok and my heart goes out to him.

    • @tdgdbs1
      @tdgdbs1 Před rokem

      So, murder is OK with you?

    • @packageism
      @packageism Před rokem +4

      Well said sir

    • @exnihilo415
      @exnihilo415 Před rokem +9

      I agree. This is very much a scenario worth considering when entering into any relationship. The exact chain of reasoning applies there also which leads to nondisclosure. That said, it all can be avoided by going with your partner to the doctor and getting a full STI panel done and then everyone knows what’s up. If she won’t go then you know something is up. In another comment Gary said that she actually died of a heart attack. It’s entirely possible that she was on ARV medication and didn’t actually die of AIDS which is very uncommon today since ARV meds are both cheap and simple to take in Thailand and available at every hospital and overwhelming effecting at completely stopping viral replication. AIDS doesn’t kill you with a heart attack. It’s usually pneumonia or another infection. If she was on ARV meds her chances of giving Gary HIV are just about zero. It’s not me saying that; it’s the CDC saying that. This is a complex story and I don’t know that Gary really got the full story about her medical history. Just because someone had HIV when they died doesn’t mean they died of AIDS. AIDS relates to CD4 cells in your blood below a certain threshold. People with HIV and are on treatment (nothing more complicated than a pill a day) have almost normal lifespans.

    • @Neednoy2
      @Neednoy2 Před rokem +1

      @@exnihilo415 @thairish time Pete you should pin this post. Good info.

    • @koma7778
      @koma7778 Před rokem +21

      She can't be a good person if she literally put the person who loves her at risk of death and suffering. Good people are stronger. Sorry but ....this is no way to behave.

  • @oywatters9415
    @oywatters9415 Před rokem +12

    Life can be quite cruel. Just counting my blessings. All the best to Gary! Thank you Pete🙏

  • @do7696
    @do7696 Před rokem +36

    I have a lump in my throat.What a humble,loving,empathetic guy...someone that would go to the moon and back to help someone.I can only wish you and yours,and especially your daughter ,Gary,all the health,happiness and success until the day after forever.keep strong,Gary, one day at a time.

  • @toniogola
    @toniogola Před rokem +42

    That's a little like my story, I found out two years after my husband death! I emphasize with you. Stay strong!

    • @tashaw3636
      @tashaw3636 Před rokem +10

      Wow how heartbreaking. Did you find out through a test? Sorry to hear this.

    • @joannsmith3589
      @joannsmith3589 Před rokem +3

      how did you find out?

    • @daughterofenoch677
      @daughterofenoch677 Před rokem +4

      I think you mean to say you *empathize*

    • @INFPinnerg
      @INFPinnerg Před rokem +2

      I hope you receive the best care & support🦋

    • @toniogola
      @toniogola Před rokem +1

      Thank you! It's really tough but thus far God has brought me is a blessing.

  • @lindenbutters9396
    @lindenbutters9396 Před rokem +11

    A lot of respectful young people, my son included, go to get checked out at a clinic these days before beginning a new relationship. It really is a very common mode de vie and then it is also considerate and almost puts a level of commitment to the couple. These days many STDs can be hard to detect also.

  • @liamobrien154
    @liamobrien154 Před rokem +29

    Wow! Gary mate. My heart goes out to you big time. I can tell by your words that you are a straight up geezer with a lot of warmth and compassion in your heart. Not many like you around these days pal! Bless you and all the luck in the world for your future. 🙏🏻

    • @scothai1888
      @scothai1888 Před rokem +1

      Very nice words. I was thinking the exact same thing.

    • @savitrirambally7560
      @savitrirambally7560 Před rokem

      Best of luck to you. Stay positive and you will be just fine. Get regular checkups just to be sure.

    • @Catcatcat299
      @Catcatcat299 Před 9 měsíci

      @@scothai1888is geezer a nice word? And if so in which country? I thought it was a derogatory term for an old man….

  • @grahamstewart615
    @grahamstewart615 Před 8 měsíci +5

    Heart goes out to you mate.
    Respect

  • @Muskrat_squeezer
    @Muskrat_squeezer Před rokem +36

    She either knowingly put him at risk or she cheated on him.
    Since he is healthy and she is gone, he is smart for not wasting his time being angry about it. Remember the good times, learn what you can, and move forward. Cheers mate.

    • @bogotario
      @bogotario Před rokem +12

      Or she learned about her HIV infection shortly before her death. No one knows the full story...

    • @koma7778
      @koma7778 Před rokem +5

      She probably didn't tell him cause she cheated

    • @clivebaxter6354
      @clivebaxter6354 Před rokem +10

      @@bogotario Hes not telling the full story

    • @AltheaCumberbatch
      @AltheaCumberbatch Před rokem

      ​@@clivebaxter6354hmmm just hmmm

    • @sexytrinny52
      @sexytrinny52 Před rokem +2

      She doing more then cheating..😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @tat1790
    @tat1790 Před rokem +16

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your wife sounds a beautiful person. I wish you and your daughter the very best and I hope you’re able to find peace in time 🙏

  • @Zabel72
    @Zabel72 Před rokem +9

    Thanks for sharing
    Your story Gary Big respect
    It touched me deeply
    Sending good energy and thoughts your way 🙏

  • @hawaiianborn1044
    @hawaiianborn1044 Před rokem +44

    With all respect, the wife had AIDS for quite a good bit! Clearly, all who knew and her situation kept it from you. As that was just cruel and wrong!

    • @marcK599.
      @marcK599. Před rokem +2

      Are you sure she knew she had it? You’re an expert

    • @mermaid30019
      @mermaid30019 Před rokem +5

      @@marcK599. he said the signs was there so she definitely knew. She lied and told him it was a blood issue.

    • @guido3771
      @guido3771 Před 10 měsíci

      What about the farang who might have given it to her in the first place? One of those crybabies who think a condom ruins their manhood and pleasure?

  • @Nessyk01
    @Nessyk01 Před rokem +20

    I’m guessing this story is not rare in Thailand

    • @tinacollins9213
      @tinacollins9213 Před 2 měsíci

      I’ve lost 3 friends who went to Thailand they all came back with Full blown Aids I watched them deteriorate it was awful to see

    • @janetstotler399
      @janetstotler399 Před měsícem +1

      Yes, it is.

    • @janetstotler399
      @janetstotler399 Před měsícem +1

      @@tinacollins9213it’s all according to what you are looking for in Thailand.

  • @carolinehemp187
    @carolinehemp187 Před 5 měsíci +1

    What a strong and beautiful soul ..the respect and grace you have for your wife.love from Dublin

  • @letssee5213
    @letssee5213 Před rokem +21

    I know 2 women with HIV. Impossible to differentiate from anyone else as they both look healthy. Also knew a large chubby bloke about ten years ago. HIV+ full of life and fun. Not long afterwards he died of Aids. No outward signs he was ill or that he had anything seriously wrong.
    Nowadays with good medicine these 2 women I know both seem to live relatively normal lives.

    • @tryan7
      @tryan7 Před rokem +3

      The problem is paying for this medicine. Once again 🎉🎉🎉.

    • @exnihilo415
      @exnihilo415 Před rokem +2

      @@tryan7 ARV meds are extremely cheap in Thailand. Just a few hundred baht a month for an all in one cocktail drug like Efavirenz.

    • @sandrabentley8111
      @sandrabentley8111 Před rokem +11

      But I think this man's wife was not on meds. So how would he not see his wife disintegrate over time? A bit confused by this difficult story.

    • @syarh
      @syarh Před rokem

      @@sandrabentley8111 he is a manchild and not observant. He even admits that his mind is like a 16yo. he married a wh*re she married a child

    • @exnihilo415
      @exnihilo415 Před rokem +1

      @@NMiller80666 It’s difficult to understand this story. In another comment he said she died of a heart attack. Since AIDS doesn’t kill you with a heart attack then the title of the video is wrong or misleading. I can’t imagine in what world she wasn’t on ARV meds. Why didn’t he get her full medical record from the hospital to unravel this. So many questions here.

  • @thegatesofdawn...1386
    @thegatesofdawn...1386 Před rokem +5

    All of the crying was your mourning over all the loss.
    You have suffered, the fear alone is overwhelming. Shocking way to end a marriage, there had to be conflicting thoughts down deep.
    Sorry for your loss.

  • @summerbreeze7066
    @summerbreeze7066 Před rokem +6

    Such a heartbreaking story. My heart goes out to him.

  • @ginahamlyn2569
    @ginahamlyn2569 Před rokem +10

    What an amazing person who obviously loved his wife very much. Thank you for sharing and being so open, all the very best going forward with your life.

  • @asdasdfasfasdfasdf
    @asdasdfasfasdfasdf Před rokem +7

    I commend your strength Gary, truly incredible. Hope things go well for you when you return to Phuket, best.

  • @bobhebel4116
    @bobhebel4116 Před rokem +32

    This is a moving story. The gentleman does appear to have loved his late wife very much. He seems more concerned about having lost her than anything else. Quite understandably, many people in his position would have been angered at his/her partner putting his/her life at risk. However, he chooses to continue thinking the best of her and honoring her memory, regardless of the circumstances. A most remarkable testimony to the enduring power of true love.

    • @paulbaas4226
      @paulbaas4226 Před rokem

    • @daughterofenoch677
      @daughterofenoch677 Před rokem

      Yeah. Except no 🙃
      True love doesn't involve keeping secrets from each other. She didn't trust the guy enough to confide in him. She trusted her own country people. Not him. In her eyes he was a foreigner. Not to be trusted.

  • @kizzy19335
    @kizzy19335 Před rokem +15

    Such a terribly sad story. I hope that the pain he suffers fades and that he finds happiness again in the future. True gentleman for caring for their daughter. She clearly brings Gary great joy.

  • @Phucket24
    @Phucket24 Před rokem +20

    I think what people need to realise is that there’s loads of people who are walking around with HIV/AIDS and they don’t know about it but with treatment they can have a normal life remember Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U)

    • @mermaid30019
      @mermaid30019 Před rokem +1

      Yes this is true but once they find out it’s their duty to tell the person they sleep with.

    • @eyeswideopen7777
      @eyeswideopen7777 Před rokem +2

      Yea from Thailand and Philippines.

  • @roustabout4fun
    @roustabout4fun Před rokem +7

    Heavy stuff! Sorry for his loss. Gosh, quite a story and wish him well.

  • @stevejaenghan5589
    @stevejaenghan5589 Před rokem +15

    Here in Thailand, sadly , my cousin and uncle just recently died from HIV . They loved prostitutes , it is not my cup of tea .

    • @violetzulu2174
      @violetzulu2174 Před rokem

      So meaning there are a lot of Proustites in Thai what a country

  • @nimblemonkey
    @nimblemonkey Před rokem +6

    Thanks for sharing your story! Wishing you all the best, mate.

  • @LePubPattaya
    @LePubPattaya Před rokem +7

    I have met Gary. Very genuine guy. Very moving. I’m wishing him the best for the future. I gave him a big hug when I saw him last. God bless.

  • @EnglishmaninMalta
    @EnglishmaninMalta Před rokem +16

    Just something doesn't gel with this story.... 8 years with a women married!! And you do not know ? I would be the first talking to the doctor, The doctor , staff , hospital , Does not know its you wife ? He are in UK while you wife is sick, or you didn't know either, very strange story !

    • @yourdadsvan6763
      @yourdadsvan6763 Před rokem +3

      Thank you for your comment. Very strange story indeed. if it wasn’t me telling the story I would agree

    • @AfricanUSA-th9ov
      @AfricanUSA-th9ov Před rokem +1

      He Was Pimping Her. As Long As She Was Bringing Home Alot Of Money

    • @MrNeversweat
      @MrNeversweat Před rokem +1

      ​@@AfricanUSA-th9ovprobably

  • @victrola2007
    @victrola2007 Před rokem +11

    Passport Bros trend is taking many decent men abroad for more traditional partners, but this needs to be seen and share his story.

    • @yourdadsvan6763
      @yourdadsvan6763 Před rokem

      Thank you for your comment. I have no idea what a passport bro is. What I can tell you is I didn’t go there looking for a Thai wife. I went for work and happened to meet someone 😊

  • @Kevin-lo1le
    @Kevin-lo1le Před rokem +6

    Super nice guy, I wish him all the luck in the world, a great person.

  • @ImakemoviesMeFilmSchool
    @ImakemoviesMeFilmSchool Před rokem +4

    Oh my god. I am so sorry you didn’t know. My prayers are with you Mr. Gary. I know it’s hard to deal with grief and possibly anger. Focus on the journey of healing my kind sir.

  • @tingtongtom...droneoperato2440

    Keep up the great work you do. Though I’m weary of watching this story I look forward to your positive demeanour. Thank you. I hope to get through this. Best to you.

  • @annaking1375
    @annaking1375 Před rokem +4

    This was a great piece. Thank you both for sharing!!!

  • @deefitzgerald2906
    @deefitzgerald2906 Před rokem +7

    That is TERRIBLE…..If they had known she could still be alive…..Today this is NOT A Death sentence….I’m so SORRY for Your LOSS….

  • @samthemanuk
    @samthemanuk Před rokem +4

    awful to have to go through that and scary as hell all the best to this man

  • @BeachGuyDave
    @BeachGuyDave Před rokem +10

    Thoughts and prayers to this guy and his family

  • @exnihilo415
    @exnihilo415 Před rokem +31

    People may wonder how it was possible that he didn’t get HIV with sustained unprotected sex. That’s actually the likely outcome. Regular P in V insertive sex has a transmission risk from the CDC of 1 in 2500. Even if you had sex everyday that’s 6.8 years of daily sex before transmission. Anyone that’s had a relationship knows the sex tapers off enormously over time. I know a number of people with HIV that have had it for decades. If anyone has any questions about HIV, just ask. It’s worth mentioning that had she told him, he could have taken prep meds like Truvada or Descovy and there would be near zero transmission risk. Silence and stigma are as deadly as HIV itself which is why stories like this are enormously important to hear.

    • @yourdadsvan6763
      @yourdadsvan6763 Před rokem +2

      Thank you. there is such a stigma to AIDS and HIV. It's a shame that there is such stigma attached to it. I still question how it didn't get passed to me.

    • @exnihilo415
      @exnihilo415 Před rokem

      @@yourdadsvan6763 It’s just a roulette wheel with 2500 slots. You didn’t spin it enough times to land on zero. Simple as that. HIV has a difficult time surviving in the vaginal canal and getting into your body through the tip of your penis. Especially the latter. Circumcised guys actually have less HIV infection risk because of this. Look it up. Pretty interesting stuff.

    • @terrymedlicott3580
      @terrymedlicott3580 Před rokem

      What you say is 100% correct

    • @exnihilo415
      @exnihilo415 Před rokem +3

      @@ponpon1234 I’m not putting it at zero since adherence is never 100% and immune system response is variable you never get to zero. Hundreds of thousands to one.

    • @fofofofo6182
      @fofofofo6182 Před rokem +4

      Male circumcision can also reduce transmition for males by 50%

  • @jayjay301269
    @jayjay301269 Před rokem +17

    I don't normally comment on any videos, but I was deeply moved by this (to tears). Love to Gary, such a tragic story. I have recently lost my Thai gf of 3.5 years, not because she's died - she's just run off with someone else. I am devastated, but Gary's story gives me a sense of perspective.
    Brilliant interview Pete, as always - such a good interviewer who just lets subjects tell their story.

    • @KrisWustrow
      @KrisWustrow Před rokem +10

      Thanks for your comment. I likewise found an Issan girl with a 2 year old son (she's never worked as a bar girl) and we were BF/GF for almost 2 years -- I visited her village (she lived with her parents), met her parents and whole family -- we planned the Issan wedding... then out of the blue, she finds a German guy online, and he came for his visit. He quickly got her a tourist visa to Germany, and she lives in Germany... It was out-of-the-blue. I still don't really know what happened. My guess is that his monthly donation was much higher than mine.

    • @jayjay301269
      @jayjay301269 Před rokem +10

      @@KrisWustrow Sorry to hear this mate. My girl was Uni educated, from a middle-class family, with her own jewellery wholesale business. I guess the old saying of "you don't really know what they're thinking" is true. My family adored her, but it appears she was leading a double life....and off she went, dropping me from a great height. C'est la vie I suppose 😬

    • @notimetodienttd1115
      @notimetodienttd1115 Před rokem +5

      ​@@KrisWustrowYou bet. Euro dollars most expensive.

    • @africansister
      @africansister Před rokem +15

      Why can't u love your own women in uk there plenty good ladies here

    • @jayjay301269
      @jayjay301269 Před rokem +8

      @@africansister why can't you love African CZcams channels, and just look at those - there are plenty of good CZcams channels there in Africa?
      What I have just done, is ask you a deliberately stupid question, in case you weren't sure. Hope you see my point - one world!

  • @fionapickering6389
    @fionapickering6389 Před rokem +36

    I know that this isn't the case in this story, but I worry about the men going over to Thailand for the bar scene and having unprotected sex. It isn't only HIV, but silent killers with no symptoms like HPV that they may pass on to wives, girlfriends or future girlfriends, be sensible and use protection.

  • @jim.pearsall
    @jim.pearsall Před rokem +3

    Such a sad situation… heart breaking. 😢 Take one step at a time forward. 🙏🏻

  • @JerseyCityGuy
    @JerseyCityGuy Před rokem +12

    Man this is a tough story to hear. No winners here. I can only say I feel,for you guy.

  • @happy-chanchan
    @happy-chanchan Před rokem +4

    when i worked in thailand,. everyyear about 1.5% of factory workers had HIV positive.
    And they lost the job.

  • @ShowseeTravels
    @ShowseeTravels Před 10 měsíci +1

    I went through something very similar in 1995. It changed the course of my life. God Bless you all

  • @ccarey3574
    @ccarey3574 Před 5 měsíci +1

    So sorry for your loss Gary, and thank you for sharing your story.

  • @marialuna0325
    @marialuna0325 Před rokem +4

    So sorry thank you for sharing your story I know it can’t be easy and I am so sorry for your loss I send my condolences to you and your family ❤️🙏🏼

  • @LutherMahoney
    @LutherMahoney Před rokem +7

    If i was this guy i would be getting tested monthly for 2 years straight 😢

    • @yourdadsvan6763
      @yourdadsvan6763 Před rokem +2

      Try 6 years. I’ve been tested at least twice a year since she passed. I also insist on any new partners to be tested with me

  • @Jane-ot9qj
    @Jane-ot9qj Před rokem +10

    It is a miracle that he didn’t contracted AIDS.

    • @yourdadsvan6763
      @yourdadsvan6763 Před rokem +1

      Thanks for your comment. It certainly is a miracle I don’t understand how I’m not my self. ❤

    • @yourdadsvan6763
      @yourdadsvan6763 Před rokem

      It would of been HIV which can lead to the AIDS virus

    • @roselee4445
      @roselee4445 Před rokem +3

      ​@@yourdadsvan6763takes 10 years to know

    • @lecannet
      @lecannet Před 10 měsíci +1

      ​@@roselee4445what do u mean?

  • @didiermo7523
    @didiermo7523 Před rokem +4

    Lovely man. Thank you for sharing your story. My condolences to you and your family. Your a great guy mate.

  • @tessietesoro7407
    @tessietesoro7407 Před rokem +10

    There was a documentary few years back, also in Thailand. About a twelve year old Thailand girl who was sold by her parents to work in a brothel as janitor. But the owner made her sex slave for foreigners/tourists in Thailand. Eventually, she contracted Aids, without her knowing it, & continued to please clients. Eventually, she died of this disease at a young age. 🥵

    • @sidudumba
      @sidudumba Před rokem +1

      Contracted HIV not AIDS

    • @Jadeisacolortoo
      @Jadeisacolortoo Před rokem +4

      The criminal part is she was a child and those men are pedos.

  • @bm4551
    @bm4551 Před rokem +4

    The level of betrayal. I hope he is able to heal from this.

    • @sexytrinny52
      @sexytrinny52 Před rokem

      He wore a RUBBER or took a TEST.

    • @exnihilo415
      @exnihilo415 Před rokem +1

      @@sexytrinny52 That isn’t what he said.

  • @hariatizainal384
    @hariatizainal384 Před rokem +3

    Ohhhh Man, what a story you had to go through there.......thank god your daughter is always there for you.

  • @mrrob6730
    @mrrob6730 Před rokem +4

    Brave. Good luck going forward mate!

  • @marshalmichael129
    @marshalmichael129 Před rokem +3

    Thank you for sharing with us this heartfelt story.

  • @AmberU
    @AmberU Před rokem +4

    The stupid part is had she told him just maybe he would have helped her make sure she got the proper care.

  • @TRUTHx247
    @TRUTHx247 Před rokem +6

    Similar thing happened to my coworker, except it was his Thai girlfriend. They weren’t married but they lived together as tho they were. SHE KNEW… but kept it from him. Now he has it too. They’re both still living but he’s not well last I heard.

  • @debbieweahkee3820
    @debbieweahkee3820 Před rokem +12

    Surely this man knows he was at risk being in thailand

    • @janetstotler399
      @janetstotler399 Před měsícem

      Thailand has nothing to do with it, if you travel in certain areas in all countries you put yourself at risk. It’s up to you.

  • @jimcraiggeezer
    @jimcraiggeezer Před rokem +3

    Absolutely great interview.. very open fella.. wish him and his daughter all the best 🙏.

  • @OneLove101.
    @OneLove101. Před rokem +5

    This is very sad 😞 Sad too that his wife didn’t feel able to tell her husband she was ill. I hope the lady’s daughter is doing well 🩷 and I hope in time this man’s heart can heal ❤️‍🩹

  • @fluffy5534
    @fluffy5534 Před rokem +3

    Great story. To Hong Kong Phooey, sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife. May she rest in peace.

  • @meileevaj
    @meileevaj Před rokem +5

    Now you need a health check, credit check, full background check before starting any relationships with anyone…

    • @AfricanUSA-th9ov
      @AfricanUSA-th9ov Před rokem +2

      He Need To be using double protection Always. I feel sorry for any woman that will get involved with him without protection