Standing up to a disrespectful father | The Dr. Cloud Show - Episode 175
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- čas přidán 7. 09. 2024
- In this highlight from The Dr. Cloud Show, Megan is having trouble with a disrespectful father. When she states her boundaries he then shuts down. Now he doesn’t want to talk. How can she open up the conversation without caving on her boundaries?
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It was eye opening when I learned that when family members insult each other, that is disrespectful. Our dysfunctional family talked terrible to each other, and bossed each other around, and yet- I too was taught to respect my elders. It changed my life when I read Dr. Cloud’s Boundaries book. It took me a while to learn how to gracefully stand up for myself. Still learning.
Lynell,
My parents were very emotionally immature and so lots of hurtful words were spoken to us kids when they were stressed, frustrated which seemed almost all the time.
Children are to look to parents to be a Godly Role Model. Adults they feel safe going to and be disciplined in a consistent, calm way. I sure did not get that! We were always expected to respect all adults, even if our parents talk to us anyway they felt like it due to the stress in their lives...it took me years to understand why I always felt anxious.
Love that book Boundaries. Took the class and Safe People too!
So Grateful for Drs Cloud & Townsend 🙏❤️
Same, it wasn't until I moved out and saw a world outside of living with my narcissistic father that I realized just how unacceptable and completely unnecessary the abuse was. He used to justify it even when I was paying rent there that I was in his house so if he wants to be abusive he's entitled. If his opinion or authority was challenged he would bully until he got a reaction and it would get progressively worse. He started trashing my stuff one time to show his power and said he's allowed to because it's his house. My friend was there that day and they were like this isn't normal, you need to move out. I genuinely just didn't know a world outside of abuse so I didn't know you can be relaxed at home.
Caller addressed her disrespectful Dad very clearly and calmly!! It was absolutely perfect. She did it so well. No one is to ever ever call another person derogatory names or put downs and especially not in front of children!!!! How wrong and extremely disrespectful. Mutual respect is a staple for every healthy relationship!!!
She has nothing at all to apologize for!!
All she needs to do is stand firm. I would feel sad too.
Appreciate & respect is critical.
Assertiveness and disrespectful are two totally different things. Caller was being assertive by explaining her reasons and boundaries. She was not disrespectful at all. Her dad blew up at her having boundaries and took it personally. It sounds like he is narcissistic. It's likely when she got herself a life apart from him by getting married and having kids, he has not gotten over the fact he is not the priority he once was to her. She has to realize that she is not emotionally responsible for what her dad is feeling. Her dad appears to hate being told no and anyone else who has firm boundaries.
He took the bible and twisted it to basically say that being the father allows/ justifies his disrespectful behavior and she has to be always the one, as the child, to give respect no matter what he says or does reveals he is manipulative and unsafe for any meaningful relationship.
I'm in the same boat with my mom and it hurts. There is no way to have a meaningful, authentic, trustworthy relationship with a person who is entitled, self absorbed, in denial and disrespectful.
My dads a narcissist and when I moved out he couldn't handle not having control and power over me and tried to get it back by trying to make me rely on him again in some way. He didn't know how to even interact in a conversation without having power over me. How can he tell me my opinion and what to do and say and think when he no longer has the threat of kicking me out with no notice? The interactions were weird because I could clearly see him trying to get it back. He had lost one of his main punching bags and was feeling withdrawals. He tries to use inheritance as a way but I always remind him I make good money and while inheritance is nice It's not necessary and not a way to control me.
Wow she and I have a similar father! Soooo challenging to handle but I know that God is greater!
Thank you caller for your encouragement. I’ve been there also…
Dr cloud, why do you interrupt so much!!?? You hardly let her talk or give details!!!