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I love that he loves not writing people off!!!

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So true!

So wise!

If you marry, you’re partly marrying double the exact same issues. Meaning: *as an example* Spouse -covert narcissist, their dad-overt narcissist so: who wants BOTH in their lives more than say….. once a year? Even at that, maybe not even overnight. Most don’t have a clue what they are signing up for because lots of Christians still marry younger. It is hard enough for some to live with the trauma our spouse suffered (the hurt pain or acting out). Much worse- be under both,several times, annually. I think the question, since it was quantitative was a rough one to reply to BUT sounds to me like she’s SUFFERING and they (his parents) basically stalked them down to force it into continuing? It was quantitative (I am guessing here) because she was hoping for a rescue. She hoped Dr. Cloud would clearly say: entirely up to you AND husband. He matters AND YOU matter. If you do not matter to your husband there is something way way off and no, it is not biblical for him to throw her under the bus of their entitlement just because he may have enmeshment issues and or zero respect for his wife (whom he chose). I hope she gets the help she’ll need because her husband seems to be not protecting their need for separation. A woman finds it hard to have a voice when the man she marries won’t SEE her discomfort and protect her. Was she looking to be adopted? Or did she want an independent, grown man. And she probably is not looking for his parents to parent them, they are adults, only adults are legally allowed marriage. Inviting his parents options & opinions seems ludicrous if she literally moved so they could: start a separate family life. She might need to evaluate how to communicate her needs kindly yet firmly- without fearing everyone’s ‘feelings’ and demands (far) before her own. *The word: ‘infiltrate’ was likely indicative of her suffering. She is not being heard. What little I’m hearing: she is not mattering to them. Or, mattering: last, if at all. Owe? Did they take care (as they raised her husband), or did they mostly leave damage. Also, what if she’s an introvert and will function best with more peace, not being run down with three against one (the wife) and trying to recover post-partem. He can go visit them, she didn’t marry his parents. Does he love or honor them (husband-his parents ) or is he supporting a sinful selfishness in them? There is a ton to unpack here. Watching and listening made my head spin. Who, is she supposed to please? Will she have any joy if people ignore her needs completely? *loved that Dr.Cloud said: don’t throw her under the bus. TLDR? Husband and his parents matter, clearly. Does she? Do they need parenting? They are adults.

Really it's what I don't want to do anymore which is a big difference. What I'd love to do wouldn't pay enough and what I'd rather do is start over which isn't an option.

The problem in my case is that intermittently the machine DID send out that Coke... it kept me in the pattern of hope in a person that wasn't capable of true relationship. If that machine NEVER delivered, that would be an easier machine to leave behind.

It’s crucial to self-assess or you may live in continuous response to assessments of others.

😂😂😂 you can write quite the love story!!

Feedback the breakfast of champions " After intermittent fasting of too many words...listen, pray for wisdom(applying knowledge)then break bread...

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As I reached into 8.16 mins. I can tell you that that there is a combo of both categories you mentioned.

The scripture says there's a safety in multiple counselors.

Nice!!!

Amen❣️

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My favorite invalidation is: " What do you think you did wrong?"

You're so so wise Dr. Cloud. I appreciate you.

I've realized that my anxiety is a product of my ADHD. Being scattered causes massive anxiety. It is better now that I know. It's still incredibly difficult.

Amen❣️

The anger my parents caused fighting then claiming I’m a Christian. I’ll say parents like this make it hard too obey the golden rule. I mean how do you respect parents when they give nothing too respect?

Whoa nice analogy.. got me in the gut 😮

Wow.. simple yet profound.

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What do you do when it's you children (adult) that are treating you badly? One of the 2 still lives with you.

Something we all need. Is so easy to see other people's faults and sins and not recognize we have a beam in our own eyes.

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Yes!! Amen!

I need a mediator with the sister😢