Shunned Amish Woman interview-Mary

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  • čas přidán 1. 02. 2024
  • Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Mary, a woman who was shunned by her Amish community now living in Colorado.
    For ad-free, uncensored videos and plenty of exclusive content please subscribe to the Soft White Underbelly subscription channel at softwhiteunderbelly.com. It's $10 a month and watchable on Apple and Android mobile apps, Roku TV, Apple TV and Amazon Fire.
    Here's a link to a GoFundMe campaign to help some of the people seen in SWU interviews: gofund.me/9ebad507
    Here's how to purchase the Soft White Underbelly book: softwhiteunderbelly.org
  • Krátké a kreslené filmy

Komentáře • 10K

  • @Penelope222
    @Penelope222 Před 3 měsíci +12495

    “You want to keep knitting” “It’s CROCHET”
    Every crocheter just fist bumped the air 😁

    • @lindaallebach4285
      @lindaallebach4285 Před 3 měsíci +95

      Haha agree

    • @LaurenOliviArt
      @LaurenOliviArt Před 3 měsíci +128

      lol yes 😂😂😂 I was like markkkk noooo

    • @JayRogers-cd1bv
      @JayRogers-cd1bv Před 3 měsíci +34

      Yeeeesssss

    • @mjcareto
      @mjcareto Před 3 měsíci +99

      Knitters as well❤

    • @sarkisianhavens
      @sarkisianhavens Před 3 měsíci +135

      "Knittas stick together" 😂
      I love the look she gave him too. I love her. Please bring her back for an update.

  • @abdullhm
    @abdullhm Před 3 měsíci +9965

    This is my friend Mary and I’m so very proud of her!!! I’m so glad she is speaking and educating us.

    • @MelMel-wd9jw
      @MelMel-wd9jw Před 3 měsíci +494

      Please tell Mary how much I appreciated her voice and story. Love and Light to her.

    • @mettekristensen5465
      @mettekristensen5465 Před 3 měsíci +284

      Tell mary she is SO brave, i am sitting in denmark, listening to her story, and learning so much🙏

    • @instahamx684
      @instahamx684 Před 3 měsíci +185

      She is amazing 💖💖🌸🌼 A true inspiration 🙌 Sending my solidarity and gratitude to her from NYC ✨✨✨✨

    • @carrottop7802
      @carrottop7802 Před 3 měsíci +228

      How lovely it must be to have this beautiful soul Mary for a friend.

    • @joshisdovahkiin84
      @joshisdovahkiin84 Před 3 měsíci +167

      This lady's strength and courage is awe inspiring!

  • @corifortneycofo2767
    @corifortneycofo2767 Před 29 dny +447

    My Dad was the sheriff in Vernon County Wisconsin when this went down. I just showed my Dad this video and he would love to talk to you, Mary. He is so proud of you and how much you've grown. Reach out if you feel comfortable. He fought so hard for you

    • @lisatarrant5559
      @lisatarrant5559 Před 26 dny +7

      Inherently Inherently Inherently

    • @DestroyerOfEvil_69
      @DestroyerOfEvil_69 Před 25 dny +4

      And for what? Some kind of space lesbian?

    • @anonymous18144
      @anonymous18144 Před 22 dny +102

      @@DestroyerOfEvil_69 It is deeply upsetting that you could have so much hatred in your heart for a complete stranger you don't even know. This woman has fought and earned the right to dress and look however she wants, especially as a victim of a culture that fights to keep their women submissive, obedient, and "plain." Your words are ugly and immature. Do better.

    • @cristinatheodoru228
      @cristinatheodoru228 Před 22 dny

      You may consider yourself a destroyer of evil, but you're only an enforcer and encourager of evil. Not to understand the overwhelming evil of abusing totally helpless, totally dependent on adults children is a grave moral failure. I hope that you will gather the strength to make the decision to open your mind enough to mature, and allow for wisdom and growth, it will benefit you in the first place.​@@DestroyerOfEvil_69

    • @helechoanarquista
      @helechoanarquista Před 22 dny

      @@DestroyerOfEvil_69yea, only thing worth than child sexual abuse is dressing unusual or being gay…ya loon

  • @notsure9802
    @notsure9802 Před měsícem +656

    What strikes me deeply is Mary's body language and tone of voice. When she's talking about her family and Amish cultures and experiences, she's very soft-spoken and words chosen carefully and gently rocking her body. However, when she started talking about coming out and especially her dress that she made, her light shines. Physically, she sits taller, her face is light and happy, and her tone is full of joy and excitement to show what she made. I was abused as a child, and my mother was abused far worse than me when she was a child. My mother rocks herself that way, too. These things can be very difficult to talk about. Thank you, Mary, for sharing your story.

    • @stellastarfield1111
      @stellastarfield1111 Před měsícem +12

      Sending love to you and your mother.
      May you both find healing and peace.

    • @user-fg2ts3wq9q
      @user-fg2ts3wq9q Před měsícem +5

      Lots of strength and love, shine your light ❤

    • @user-ws4vt7zu5o
      @user-ws4vt7zu5o Před 27 dny +1

      Man, at 27:00 she caught another gear, lol.

    • @funny2xUS
      @funny2xUS Před 17 dny

      well yeah its pretty easy to tell when shes being dishonest or like picking and choosing what she wants attention for idk her eyes tell the story of someone that doesn't interact with truth very well

    • @childofcascadia
      @childofcascadia Před 15 dny +5

      @funny2xUS
      Hey look, I found the psychic who thinks they know what people are thinking.
      Youre the type of person who says someone who was brutally sexually assaulted probably 'wanted it' because they arent showing the exact body language you think someone in that situation should have.
      People react to abuse and traumatic experiences in different ways
      You are obviously a judgemental person whos had a pretty good life and has never known anyone who has suffered severe trauma.

  • @BerlyDza
    @BerlyDza Před 3 měsíci +4694

    That dress is the most incredible act of rebellion and joy I have ever seen. Truly inspiring.

    • @yogicdance240
      @yogicdance240 Před 3 měsíci +123

      💯 I teared up as she described her dress. Such freedom in making this dress!!

    • @vladimirputindreadlockrast812
      @vladimirputindreadlockrast812 Před 3 měsíci +82

      Her dress is gorgeous.

    • @judyadams9541
      @judyadams9541 Před 3 měsíci +76

      And her hair!

    • @lindsaym7256
      @lindsaym7256 Před 3 měsíci +124

      The grin she had when explaining the stitching. So much purpose put into every detail. Love it.

    • @pearlandamy1
      @pearlandamy1 Před 3 měsíci +28

      Yes! I agree, inspiring.

  • @mclyker
    @mclyker Před 3 měsíci +6577

    Mark. Might be the single most compelling interview you've done. The use of color, the use of silence and pauses and just letting her talk with little intervention. A riveting story and experience .Absolutely amazing stuff here.

  • @experiential
    @experiential Před měsícem +347

    As a male Mennonite whose grandfather was shunned when he was a barefoot toddler, I was moved to tears by this interview. Shunning does damage generations deep, let me tell you. To fight back against your abusers within an isolated community that shuns you and anyone who associates with you… This woman is a warrior.
    I am sorry for the abuse and pain that you have survived, Mary. There is a world of loving people out there for you, just filter for values wherever you go and don’t ever stop embracing your heritage. There are ‘cultural antibaptists’ floating around too, it’s just damn hard to find each other.

    • @valnpaulvanorden
      @valnpaulvanorden Před měsícem +8

      Hi Mary, good to know you are now safe. Thank you for enlightening englishers.
      I'm sort of part of Michigan community. Very arbitrary, vague and verbal, even unspoken expectations/ordinance @ district.

    • @valnpaulvanorden
      @valnpaulvanorden Před měsícem +4

      I've seen on just the subject of visual art, many newcomers to our are are offended by the liberty in our area to paint and draw. Old order Amish from Byrne Indiana feel that drawing is verboten!!!

    • @SubCultureVulture702
      @SubCultureVulture702 Před měsícem

      Hi there, I am wondering about some Mennonite people, a few families that were in a documentary about how they decided to pack up one day, and leave America to go to some jungle in like Cuba or Venezuela I'm not sure, maybe someplace in Asia where they had bought land, but they had to clear the trees to be able to build it was so undeveloped and isolated. This really blew me away because they looked like the last people who would ever be willing to take on such drastic and difficult all encompassing life changes, let alone they wanted to do it, they were not forced . But to go from what looked to me a very outlined and habitual life of routine to an uncertain surprised filled life of risk & chance. Like they were last people on earth I'd expect to find were I trekking threw that jungle . So is this something Mennonite people all do? Like a way to spread their religion to new places? Or do they usually stick within their established communities all their lives ? And have you heard about them within your community, some sort of update on Mennonite activities outside the states? This was the 1st of two part documentary and I never did get to see the 2nd and it would be so fantastic to learn they are thriving and healthy & to see their progress. I think about these people often and pray they are all well & alive.

    • @f1r33x1t
      @f1r33x1t Před 29 dny +1

      are you jewish?

    • @Hbbt82
      @Hbbt82 Před 19 dny +3

      Shunned when he was a toddler?

  • @amaure216
    @amaure216 Před měsícem +246

    This was fantastic. Her entire demenor changed when she said, "I made a commitment that I was going to live my life out loud. And in color." She became animated and engaging. I felt included in conversation with her. How powerful!

    • @jeremylindsey94
      @jeremylindsey94 Před měsícem

      Some might imply that adversity in her youth is what defined her as an adult. That would be a mistake.

    • @violetxoxox
      @violetxoxox Před měsícem +2

      @amaure216 I loved that part! She burst into bloom. It made me so happy!

    • @edvh88
      @edvh88 Před 29 dny +1

      @@violetxoxoxme too! I’m so proud of her and in awe of her. Warrior.

    • @YepItsHenry
      @YepItsHenry Před 22 dny

      People who are desperate to affect an appearance of excessive colour and extravagance generally betray a feeling of insecurity, emptiness and rottenness on the inside.

  • @khl4185
    @khl4185 Před 3 měsíci +2478

    WOW! She is powerful. Her story is NOT an Amish story; it is a human story, and a woman's story, period.

    • @whoisharo4689
      @whoisharo4689 Před 3 měsíci +44

      Well said, even tho it's the Amish who need to be held accountable

    • @BlueAlien2
      @BlueAlien2 Před 3 měsíci +54

      That is very well said. Shame and silence are pervasive among almost every culture in the world...where dominance by a few over many who are considered marginal...women and children...face degradation and threat to life everyday.

    • @tleigh8794
      @tleigh8794 Před 3 měsíci +9

      Amen ❤🎉

    • @larhulelarhule8227
      @larhulelarhule8227 Před 3 měsíci +12

      What do you mean by “woman’s story”?

    • @robstardallas31
      @robstardallas31 Před 3 měsíci +2

      Amen

  • @Glub2
    @Glub2 Před 3 měsíci +3080

    "people who are committing suicide... or, perhaps that's not quite the right way to say that, maybe they're dying /from/ suicide because OF the lack of access to appropriate resources" that was a such a profound correction she decided to put in. It really resonated with me as someone who has tried to take my own life, it's a perspective shift I've never seen anyone make before, it's a powerfully helpful way of broaching the topic of suicide.

    • @annastaciamiddleton6390
      @annastaciamiddleton6390 Před 3 měsíci +24

      Yes!!

    • @louniece1650
      @louniece1650 Před 3 měsíci +39

      Deeply insightful.

    • @desserttree
      @desserttree Před 3 měsíci +26

      Thank you for this comment

    • @constanzanavarro821
      @constanzanavarro821 Před 3 měsíci +56

      I’ve heard people use the expression “he/she died from depression” instead of using the word suicide, and that has also help me a lot to gain a different perspective about my trauma and others, we struggle with a disease and without the proper resources, as she said, is incredible hard to overcome

    • @nickismith2809
      @nickismith2809 Před 3 měsíci +29

      Agreed!
      The way this woman walks through all these scenarios and ideas is so leveled headed. It makes my heart happy because it is very obvious that she has gone through a LONGGG road of healing, learning, and understanding. My heart goes out to her.

  • @nataliemamo8709
    @nataliemamo8709 Před měsícem +199

    Shes a perfect example of how soft spoken people can have the loudest voices ❤ i love her

  • @lindac6416
    @lindac6416 Před měsícem +81

    She is being punished for stopping abuse. Wow 🤯

    • @edvh88
      @edvh88 Před 29 dny +12

      I’m sorry to say I’m cynical enough that I’m not even surprised. When *havent* victims been blamed and shamed thru history? Emphasis on HISstory.

    • @janicegullett8779
      @janicegullett8779 Před dnem

      Because she is a woman. All women are punished for asking for their equal rights, freedoms, safety throughout the world. Mary is a voice for millions of women.

  • @phL274
    @phL274 Před 3 měsíci +2482

    Her use of language is so refreshingly precise

    • @jaystat6545
      @jaystat6545 Před 3 měsíci +20

      English language is racist tho... along with math!

    • @GnosticCushite
      @GnosticCushite Před 3 měsíci

      ​​@@jaystat6545English is a bastard language. Math is the language of the Gods. Math is the only thing that is UNIVERSAL!

    • @sugaredviolets2085
      @sugaredviolets2085 Před 3 měsíci +97

      @@jaystat6545What? Who TF said that? You? 😂

    • @claudiaclark8303
      @claudiaclark8303 Před 3 měsíci +57

      I agree, she is a great speaker and relatable.

    • @ArmandoTarziu
      @ArmandoTarziu Před 3 měsíci

      Besides the false sabt(Sunday),and teh wide spread of spiritism(yog, karma, ouiaj bord, reiki,hipnosis), last final decie wil be ,atht satn himslef wil come as Hrist, sayinghe changed teh day of rest! And this decie wil be poerful for al those who dont read teh Bible for themseles,as it wil be flowed by great miracles and healings,everywere he wil apear! But teh Bible dosnt live su without wraning to this and cleaerly says aht when Jesius coems " All eyes wil see Him" ,so everyone on earth, wilse satans fake only here and there! -read Mathew chaoter 24! Another direct warning to teh spirit f the anthirst is in 2 Joan 7" anyone who says atht Jesus doenst coem in flesh/body, is teh spirit of the anthirst"! And i would sugest you get abook caled " The great cintroversy" by Ellen White, is ana mazing book, wich depicts the war betwen good and evil,from Lucifers afl til teh very end,and in the last few chapters, is everything about what we live, and whats toc eom, pure undiluted truth, with valiuble insights! God bless you all!​@@sugaredviolets2085

  • @dawnleemisener4778
    @dawnleemisener4778 Před 2 měsíci +2098

    Thank you Mark for allowing her silences and not immediately jumping in with questions. You gave her the space and time she needed. ❤

    • @GypsyGirl317
      @GypsyGirl317 Před 2 měsíci +29

      I agree 💯
      An intelligent, experienced, compassionate interviewer. ❤

    • @heidibarrett6400
      @heidibarrett6400 Před 2 měsíci +20

      Mark did an excellent job of allowing her to express herself and tell her story.

    • @MrGreglarry
      @MrGreglarry Před 2 měsíci +32

      Mark's style of letting people talk and speak their story in their way uninterrupted is great. Certainly my favorite style. If you let people talk ... they will tell you their truth.

    • @aazhie
      @aazhie Před měsícem +13

      This is the way to interview a person on a serious subject like this.
      Ask a few questions, let them answer in their own words and time.

    • @muntu_2.0
      @muntu_2.0 Před měsícem +16

      She's very calm when she speaks. She's beautiful and I love her dress. It was good listening to her story. Very informative.

  • @stuartrharder8057
    @stuartrharder8057 Před měsícem +73

    I was raised in a Mennonite community and as a young male encountered the edges of sexual abuse. As I am now an old man, I can reflect on the myriad ways in which the lives of men and women in the Annabaptist communities get distorted and perverted, leaving individuals trying to figure out who they are and how to live a meaningful life. I left the church at age 18 and never returned - well, except that I entered a formal Zen Buddhist practice in 2001. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

  • @robinfoster2696
    @robinfoster2696 Před měsícem +105

    Reporting abuse is VERY DANGEROUS. I relate. I've feared for my life and run for it hiding in shelters wondering if a stalker would kill me. It wasn't Amish... I escaped extremist religious groups as well and neighborhood popular opinion rapists ... 21years later I am still SUFFERING from. IT. The psychic trauma is so much worse than words can describe.
    Love your pretty dress! Very unique!
    Strong woman!
    Luv u!

    • @edvh88
      @edvh88 Před 29 dny +2

      Hope you stay safe and strong, sending you all the best wishes 💜

  • @QueenJaneway
    @QueenJaneway Před 2 měsíci +1330

    It is SO COOL that she literally reclaimed her heritage in her own individual way. She is so inspiring.

    • @nuckinfuts7610
      @nuckinfuts7610 Před 2 měsíci +14

      Yes. This. ☝️💯🎯👍

    • @johanneabelsen1644
      @johanneabelsen1644 Před 2 měsíci +8

      Mary Byler rocks.
      I just hope, that she will get a job and a place to live.

    • @manlikeJoe1010
      @manlikeJoe1010 Před 2 měsíci +6

      Heritage means you are from something, meaning some aspect of you participates in something. That being the case, how can you do heritage "in your own individual way"? Heritage isn't individual

    • @QueenJaneway
      @QueenJaneway Před 2 měsíci

      ok, *interpret their heritage. happy? Lol how unnecessary comment.@@manlikeJoe1010

    • @QueenJaneway
      @QueenJaneway Před 2 měsíci

      and also heritage can be anything. Like cultural heritage can be a football pitch. I've studied heritage studies on Master's level so yeah. I have an exam in that.@@manlikeJoe1010

  • @DollyCypherArt
    @DollyCypherArt Před 2 měsíci +1231

    "I made a commitment i was going to live my life out loud and in color" gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. What an incredible, intelligent, strong and brave woman she is. She deserves so much happiness and peace. This is an incredible interview.❤️

    • @louisedow6489
      @louisedow6489 Před 2 měsíci

      -Come over
      an see The
      Audio
      Recording
      Where Amber
      Heard Almost Died

    • @thatdude3977
      @thatdude3977 Před 2 měsíci

      Crocheting really is living whacky 🤪🤣

    • @LC-pk4zz
      @LC-pk4zz Před 2 měsíci +6

      Agreed, Exactly my thoughts on this interview. Incredible woman.

    • @missinformed9550
      @missinformed9550 Před měsícem +1

      The bonnet gets to me. 😢

    • @We_are_TheWilliamsLegion
      @We_are_TheWilliamsLegion Před měsícem +6

      The way she lit up though! So beautifully!❤

  • @pawsoffriendship5007
    @pawsoffriendship5007 Před měsícem +43

    Mary is so well spoken ! I could listen to her for hours. This was not only educational but fascinating as well.
    Thank you Mary !! And please come back for a part 2 !

  • @72barracuda70
    @72barracuda70 Před 25 dny +16

    I followed this story , I’m from Indiana and my wife and I taxi the Amish and believe me you can have an Amish girl from a family in a city 200 miles away that have never met one another and there kids look identical ! This lady went thru hell and back and all over again and these people knew the truth and knew that her own brothers were as guilty as sin but thru the court proceedings they actually bused in hundreds of Amish to back the guilty brothers . Filled the entire court room ! The judge felt so bad for her that he all but ripped the family , brothers, and people in the court room about how they backed those boys or men and had zero support for her ! Buss loads ! Sick that’s all I can say just sick . You have our support and keep you positive attitude stand strong and she isn’t letting them get her down ! And that’s way she didn’t elaborate on what they did to her ! Good job !

  • @femmenoire777
    @femmenoire777 Před měsícem +746

    Omgggg this is my ex coworker she is such a BEAUTIFUL PERSON I AM SO PROUD OF U MARY❤️❤️

    • @matimus100
      @matimus100 Před měsícem

      Mary you're God belief?

    • @OutWestRedDirt
      @OutWestRedDirt Před měsícem

      You.
      Stop being lazy.

    • @femmenoire777
      @femmenoire777 Před měsícem +13

      @@OutWestRedDirt you stop 🛑 being a demon

    • @StephenRoberts99
      @StephenRoberts99 Před měsícem +10

      @@OutWestRedDirtdamn, what a sad and lonely life if that's what you thought of to this beautiful message about someone she knew.

    • @dedgrips
      @dedgrips Před měsícem +5

      @@OutWestRedDirtif you love the amish so much get off the internet and go live with them

  • @birdybirdbird
    @birdybirdbird Před 3 měsíci +1162

    I grew up in a big abusive Mormon family with tons of sexual abuse, and she makes me feel so seen and understood. I feel her. I see her. Thank you for this video. She is very diplomatic and fair. She is genuine and honest. In all her grief, she hasn’t hardened her heart, she’s softened it.

    • @Deathlobster137
      @Deathlobster137 Před 3 měsíci

      Why is abuse in Mormonism so common?

    • @unitedstatesdale
      @unitedstatesdale Před 3 měsíci +23

      I grew up in a wonderful Mormon household.
      Zero abuse.

    • @hightidemidafternoon
      @hightidemidafternoon Před 3 měsíci

      two households. @@unitedstatesdale

    • @tora9915
      @tora9915 Před 3 měsíci +189

      @@unitedstatesdale Why do you feel the need to comment that? I'm glad you didn't experience abuse, but this just feels like you're trying to undermine the above comment.

    • @heroinmom153
      @heroinmom153 Před 3 měsíci +3

      I mean, it's hard not to see her. She's got the camera focus throughout the entire interview.

  • @oceanman7336
    @oceanman7336 Před 25 dny +14

    that black and white headshot 33:59, those eyes... there's a profound sadness in those eyes and even as she explained the horrors forced upon her I can't even fathom a single iota of the strength she has to continue living when your LITERAL ENTIRE world conspires against you in malice. I truly do wish the best for her

  • @gerimartini3639
    @gerimartini3639 Před 19 dny +8

    I’ve never heard someone speak so softly and so loud at the same time. What a beautiful and intelligent warrior this woman is! One of my favorite interviews so far!! Thank you, Mary! We see you, we hear you, we support you! 🩷

  • @jessgirl1978
    @jessgirl1978 Před 3 měsíci +1109

    ‘I made a commitment that I was going to live my life out loud. And in colour!’ This beautiful person has inspired me today. Thank you, Mary.

    • @TheVirginGaryLovingDemocrats
      @TheVirginGaryLovingDemocrats Před 2 měsíci +4

      Just don't let it lead you to the low hot place. Just because Mary may have experienced injustice doesn't mean jumping from the true center group, the bible / love, over to the left or the right side is the answer.

    • @HughJassole420
      @HughJassole420 Před 2 měsíci

      ​@@TheVirginGaryLovingDemocrats that is the exact opposite of what the OP was saying. And yes it should lead anyone astray when you realize religion and those stupid books are just tools of men to control the masses. Selling hope to the hopeless.

    • @blueberreez
      @blueberreez Před 2 měsíci +11

      This was also the exact moment in the video when I felt the need to pause and comment. Mary is an unbelievably strong and inspiring person.

    • @SuperReznative
      @SuperReznative Před 2 měsíci +4

      ​@@blueberreez?

    • @Willesden_Rab1_TV
      @Willesden_Rab1_TV Před 2 měsíci +3

      agreed, that was a refreshing comment.. when i think armish people .. i think of god fearing people / christians / farmers who live off the land .. it just goes to show - we can find creeps anywhere we go in this world .. god bless mary hope all is well & peace onto you all

  • @bashleyrespectfully4562
    @bashleyrespectfully4562 Před 3 měsíci +1518

    "commiting.... I mean dying FROM suicide" ive NEVER heard anyone put it that way, such compassion! 😢

    • @yonikki
      @yonikki Před 3 měsíci +15

      This was a well rehearsed monolog

    • @TheApplecorped
      @TheApplecorped Před 3 měsíci +19

      @@yonikki?? what makes you think that

    • @lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285
      @lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 Před 3 měsíci +2

      ​@@yonikkii think ur right

    • @norriskp
      @norriskp Před 3 měsíci +41

      Terminology is changing, thankfully, b/c "committing" sounds like they did some criminal act - just insensitive & inappropriate. More commonly used now are expressions such as "Died by suicide" or "died from..." or even "died due to mental illness,"

    • @Mochiii26
      @Mochiii26 Před 3 měsíci +16

      ⁠@@norriskpeverything is politically incorrect nowadays. Why is there such an issue with saying committed suicide. Just because we also use the word committed to state a murder had taken place. Does not mean that word has a negative connotation associated with it. If you look up the word committed it actually has a positive definition. “feeling dedication and loyalty to a cause, activity, or job; wholeheartedly dedicated.” Committed has a positive connotation too, like I am in a committed relationship. This word is only trying to imply that an individual was 100% dedicated to performing such an activity(suicide/murder). if you want to kill someone or even kill yourself you have to be in a certain mental space for you to carry out those activities. What other word would be best fit to describe that than committed? Devoted? Nahh, that doesn’t sound right. I have no idea why we as human beings are knit picking terminology we have been using for years. Although I don’t agree with some, I really don’t see the problem with saying committed. All it means is that a person has set their mind and is 100% willing to carry out an action, or has already done so. It truly seizes to amaze me that we are this way.

  • @Loretta_C
    @Loretta_C Před měsícem +27

    One can learn a lot from this woman not just from her words but to also listen between the lines. The best interview I have seen on this channel by far.

  • @LindaKayHolevas
    @LindaKayHolevas Před měsícem +23

    Wow, just wow. This interview moved me so much. This woman is one of the most interesting women I have ever listened to. Thank you, Mark, for allowing her to speak. She is truly fascinating. May God bless her❤

  • @FREETHEGOD22
    @FREETHEGOD22 Před 3 měsíci +951

    “Religious language around crimes affects how we talk about it.” I really appreciate that sentiment. It was healing.

    • @cstepaniuk8611
      @cstepaniuk8611 Před 2 měsíci

      The whitewashing is real.

    • @angieg3624
      @angieg3624 Před 2 měsíci +2

      🙏 💗

    • @Broken_Cracka
      @Broken_Cracka Před 2 měsíci

      This is why I detest the word “r*pey”. As in, “He’s kinda “ra*ey”.

    • @paidovi4717
      @paidovi4717 Před 2 měsíci +5

      What does that mean

    • @TheVirginGaryLovingDemocrats
      @TheVirginGaryLovingDemocrats Před 2 měsíci +9

      @@paidovi4717 I imagine it means religious people can be overbearing, like seems to happen in any group that has lots of power over others. All that seems to do is cause people to overcompensate to the other side. Notice how the lady here basically joined the opposition.

  • @endreverland811
    @endreverland811 Před 3 měsíci +1022

    The way she lit up and brightened when talking about her clothing, really warmed my heart. In such a dark, enlightening and sad story, it's good to see that she can still find joy.

    • @ljunod
      @ljunod Před 3 měsíci +38

      She pretty much stopped her crochet from that point forward. Her demeanor completely changed!

    • @julydanielavillalobos9349
      @julydanielavillalobos9349 Před 3 měsíci +10

      I was about to comment that, it was a truly special moment in this super interesting interview. My fav so far.

    • @davepelfrey3958
      @davepelfrey3958 Před 3 měsíci +6

      ​@@julydanielavillalobos9349, yes 💯 agree. A very eye and heart opening interview to say the least. I wish her well in life.

    • @GiftSparks
      @GiftSparks Před 3 měsíci +10

      @@ljunodHer posture changed as well. She went from the tight submissive posture she demonstrated to a more proud upright position. Brilliant interview.

    • @wolfspade1646
      @wolfspade1646 Před 3 měsíci +9

      @@ljunod I noticed this too. She didn't need her coping method, she was on a roll!
      I was just listening to the video, so it actually shocked me how suddenly strong and upbeat she became.

  • @RANDOMLETTERS1111
    @RANDOMLETTERS1111 Před 25 dny +11

    I could listen to her talk for hours she has a very soothing voice

  • @robinalnborg131
    @robinalnborg131 Před měsícem +20

    I am incredibly touched to hear her sad experiences, and just want to send her a huge warm hug and tell her what a brave woman she is. I wish her all the best in the future.Wishing her all the best in life and many warm thoughts from Robin from Denmark.

  • @meredithking3357
    @meredithking3357 Před 2 měsíci +793

    This girl just knew exactly what to say with almost NO questions

    • @carolynt2513
      @carolynt2513 Před 2 měsíci

      *Woman* She is and adult. Adult female humans aren't children. We aren't *girls*. I'm not coming for you - I just want this subtle and pervasive undercutting of the Feminine to be called out. I want us adult women to collectively no longer tolerate being referred to as children.

    • @dhvinebeauty
      @dhvinebeauty Před 2 měsíci +49

      *Woman

    • @aazhie
      @aazhie Před měsícem

      ​@@dhvinebeauty the ex Amish woman has Girl power. That girl doesn't read ro me as a diminishing "girl" it is acknowledgement that she didn't get to have a proper girlhood.

    • @TheNinjaPicker
      @TheNinjaPicker Před měsícem +2

      From other interviews with her it appears she is acting in one of them. Not for me to decide which one is her true persona.

    • @shiddip
      @shiddip Před měsícem

      Woman- girl
      Girl- woman
      Stop looking for things to comment on.
      ​@@dhvinebeauty

  • @noahscott7263
    @noahscott7263 Před 3 měsíci +489

    “That is my culture. That is my heritage. It’s in me, and I can’t outrun that.” Beautifully said

    • @imabeardsley9280
      @imabeardsley9280 Před 3 měsíci +9

      💯

    • @graciemaye6381
      @graciemaye6381 Před 2 měsíci

      There are a ton of people who think they can do that, but you can't erase your ethnicity. DNA showed we are heavily Hutterite/Haban on one side. We still don't know the details. We knew the family spoke both German and Czech and had been associated with the aristocracy in Germanic Europe before the failed Germanic revolutions of around 1848. Hutterite religion had been outlawed, but maybe they were still marrying among themselves as "ex"/crypto-hutterites, I I don't know. They had been sought as tutors and administrators by the ruling families because in Europe they were highly educated (one of the founders of Hutterites was a teacher, Lehrer). All across the areas they had lived in Europe the govts and govt-approved churches had demanded they stop "being" Hutterite, and on pain of death, exile, losing all their property, etc they "reconverted" however nothing can erase the DNA. In the US and Canada people decide they're not going to "be" Anabaptist anymore, but you can't erase your DNA. It's more than just a religion, it's an ethnicity even if, like Mary said, you were an atheist, with all the aspects that go into that including gene pool, dialect, and every other facet all the way down to how you think etc. The last thing you can't erase is your genes, but maybe also some things at the farthest down level of the Cultural Iceberg (Google that).

    • @TheUrantia001
      @TheUrantia001 Před 2 dny

      also a false dilemma, epigenetics is one way to circumvent, some medicine plants could help her drop the bodily connection....attachment..

  • @nbooch73
    @nbooch73 Před 25 dny +11

    This was so POWERFUL GOD BLESS YOU MARY 🙏🙏🙏

  • @cperm1
    @cperm1 Před měsícem +15

    Wow! Just WOW! This was the most powerful interview you have ever had on your channel. A lot of food for thought and statements that encourage soul searching. Thank you Mary for your story. Spoken with such grace and wisdom. Mark, well done!

  • @ewechoober3355
    @ewechoober3355 Před 2 měsíci +545

    The shock l got when l started this video and realized she was in glorious technicolor clothing with pink hair, despite paying homage to her cultural modest way of dressing. Her speech is so articulate and her pausing is so profound, it really allows you to listen to her. She's a marvel.

    • @laburdette
      @laburdette Před 2 měsíci +7

      Well said

    • @ronnac.7143
      @ronnac.7143 Před měsícem +5

      Totally agree

    • @steelerqueen436
      @steelerqueen436 Před měsícem +5

      Absolutely ❤

    • @cgrass4035
      @cgrass4035 Před měsícem +6

      I originally was just listening through headphones…then I saw her dress. 😊

    • @daviennethompson3575
      @daviennethompson3575 Před měsícem +7

      I’m so in awe by the way she puts her words together.👏 very interesting story.

  • @callummurphy7170
    @callummurphy7170 Před 3 měsíci +1108

    the rebellious flip on her traditional dress is so cool. lived-in nonconformity. go you, sista

    • @QurVgn
      @QurVgn Před 3 měsíci +48

      She also shaved the side of her head. Very cool! 💕

    • @polskigirl8547
      @polskigirl8547 Před 3 měsíci +44

      Cosmic Amish….

    • @AmmoGus1
      @AmmoGus1 Před 3 měsíci +11

      Yesss it's really nonconformist to dye your hair pink!@

    • @weaviejeebies
      @weaviejeebies Před 3 měsíci +40

      Some of my father's rules were no make up or perfume, and absolutely no noise afyer 7 pm. So these days I do myself up as much as I like, I have piercings and tattoos, I love perfume, and I blast music all evening long. Defiance of the abusers' rules, no matter what they were, is one of the singular joys of freedom. The abuser enjoys exacting complete control, instills deep shame in you for the slightest "mistake", and if you don't put insane levels of value and conformity into those rules, the abuser sniffs out your "rebellion" and will grind you into pulp gleefully. If you don't obey and thank them for stealing your autonomy, there is a very good chance you will not make it out alive. I hope the people that hurt her see her now and it eats them up because they have no power over her anymore. Now it's them, sitting small, and they hate that.

    • @weaviejeebies
      @weaviejeebies Před 3 měsíci +37

      ​@AmmoGus1 for someone from that kind of community, it's tantamount to running naked down the street. She was raised to avoid attracting any kind of attention to herself and pink hair is shouting look at me.

  • @littlegirl3263
    @littlegirl3263 Před měsícem +15

    Thank you, Mary, for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. I can’t imagine the pain you experienced and must still be experiencing as a result. The way you told your story was so raw and honest and heartbreaking.
    Mark’s skills in being able to photograph the soul is simply amazing. Thank you Mark.

  • @cintroberts6614
    @cintroberts6614 Před měsícem +13

    Much respect for her for speaking the truth about her life. No judgement from this corner of the world.

  • @1955dmb
    @1955dmb Před 3 měsíci +948

    Only the best interviewers can refrain from interrupting. Well done!

    • @emmahollings4985
      @emmahollings4985 Před 3 měsíci +35

      only the best interveiwers can get someone in to such a flow that they don't stop talking for half an hour!

    • @Prairiedogs11
      @Prairiedogs11 Před 3 měsíci +24

      Agree, that space between- the silence- is so incredibly powerful. What a remarkable, resilient person

    • @hdhdkskdhd9745
      @hdhdkskdhd9745 Před 2 měsíci +8

      Excellent interviewing.

    • @MrGrandure
      @MrGrandure Před 2 měsíci +4

      Club shay shay

    • @SubCultureVulture702
      @SubCultureVulture702 Před 2 měsíci +5

      He never says anything!

  • @1955dmb
    @1955dmb Před 3 měsíci +482

    After all she suffered, she has chosen to maintain her gentle demeanor. I have so much respect for Mary.

    • @kimbeeson5853
      @kimbeeson5853 Před 2 měsíci

      She seems like a pot at the verge of boiling over. I think her 'coolness' is scary.

    • @gregsimmons694
      @gregsimmons694 Před měsícem +1

      Jesus saves sinners! God bless you! Pray!

    • @1955dmb
      @1955dmb Před měsícem +1

      @@gregsimmons694 I do pray!

  • @pman2916
    @pman2916 Před měsícem +10

    It's man not God that creates our earthly narrative. I learnt this as a Christian woman. I no longer follow my religion to the letter as I once did. I have my own mind in determining between right and wrong, God and man. Mary has enhanced my understanding my view on so many things. Thank you Mary for sharing your story.

  • @flowerlady3150
    @flowerlady3150 Před měsícem +7

    Beautiful soul. Wise, articulate, and giving. Best wishes for a happy life.

  • @MachiavellinCheese
    @MachiavellinCheese Před 3 měsíci +938

    Former amish.. thank you thank you thank you. For putting the experience into the words i never could

    • @JJ-kf4kc
      @JJ-kf4kc Před 3 měsíci +16

      Bless you dear❤
      Happy u broke free❤

    • @kwimms
      @kwimms Před 3 měsíci +2

      What an evil woman... they were right to shun her.

    • @mattisalli1331
      @mattisalli1331 Před 3 měsíci +27

      For reporting crimes?

    • @ea42455
      @ea42455 Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@kwimmsTroll.

    • @iBadAshh
      @iBadAshh Před 3 měsíci +58

      @@kwimmsObvious bait

  • @JessBisme123
    @JessBisme123 Před 3 měsíci +649

    1) I love how colorful her dress and hair are. 2) You can feel how much pain this woman carries. I'm glad she made it through it, and I hope she finds peace and happiness.

    • @mixedmediaartgirl300
      @mixedmediaartgirl300 Před 3 měsíci +10

      Happiness and sadness come and go. I know she will be healing her entire life, but she seems content. And contentment after so much abuse, is a huge burden off the shoulders, and what some people never find because they're always chasing happines.

    • @knowwe
      @knowwe Před 3 měsíci +11

      At first I was like what the hell when I saw her appearence. But after watching her interview, and hearing her explanation for her garments, it completely changed my opinion on it and now I really like her dress sense, now that I understand it. I kinda feel bad about my initial negativity tbh

    • @bashleyrespectfully4562
      @bashleyrespectfully4562 Před 3 měsíci +4

      I know I love her whole aesthetic 😭

    • @gregsimmons694
      @gregsimmons694 Před měsícem

      Jesus saves sinners! God bless you! Pray!

  • @kerimardis3045
    @kerimardis3045 Před měsícem +6

    She could not be more well spoken or elegant. This interview was one of the biggest eye openers I've ever had the privilege of seeing. You go girl!!!!!!!

  • @vannarimork3330
    @vannarimork3330 Před 22 dny +5

    This was very beautiful to listen to and watch. The pain and heartache came across so clearly and sharply.

  • @DarlaAnne
    @DarlaAnne Před 2 měsíci +485

    This woman is incredible. Her sense of confidence in every single word she spoke and the power in every single subtle intonation. Her community lost a beautiful soul but we the rest of the world gained one.

    • @TimTrOn3000
      @TimTrOn3000 Před 2 měsíci +1

      She still wear the garb.... they haven't ever lost her.

    • @Xaforn
      @Xaforn Před 2 měsíci +7

      @@TimTrOn3000she doesn’t always dress like that. Cults to conciousness did an interview with her and she wore regular clothing then. She made this dress this way for a reason

  • @MR-qi5lc
    @MR-qi5lc Před 2 měsíci +605

    I love the sudden burst of passion when she started talking about the dress after she was so calm and understated

    • @jamesmyers4691
      @jamesmyers4691 Před 2 měsíci +32

      Me too. To watch her come alive was to feel her empowerment alongside her

    • @danielslubski1028
      @danielslubski1028 Před 2 měsíci +18

      The only time she stopped crouchaing

    • @mojoxide
      @mojoxide Před 2 měsíci +24

      Same, she was proud of that dress, and she should be.

    • @gg_nugu
      @gg_nugu Před 2 měsíci +12

      I know, that was almost bizarre (and I mean that in the least negative or judgemental way possible)! I was not expecting how strong her change in demeanor was lol

    • @zahgurim7838
      @zahgurim7838 Před 2 měsíci +7

      One could really feel her energy and strength. Impressive.

  • @Unwavering137
    @Unwavering137 Před 19 dny +4

    Mary is one strong woman. Her meditative crocheting, her gentle speech, her rising above a repressive culture. She is courageous.

  • @thecourtlyalchemist
    @thecourtlyalchemist Před měsícem +13

    She's cosplaying the uniform of her former oppression, because she can, out loud and in rainbow colors with forbidden dimensions and stitchery. How subversive and inspiring! Brilliant subject, brilliant interview!!!

  • @clairepettie
    @clairepettie Před 2 měsíci +615

    A community shunning victims of sexual assault and spending its time measuring the wrist cuff on women's dresses needs to readjust its priorities desperately. Thank you Mary! 💜

    • @johanneabelsen1644
      @johanneabelsen1644 Před 2 měsíci

      In Islam, they STONE women, who have been raped. Because she is then guilty of infidelity, even though, SHE was assaulted!!
      Sharia (Islamic law) demands, that 4 witnesses are found. Those can be bought...
      This happens in Iran, Somalia, and Nigeria!

    • @johanneabelsen1644
      @johanneabelsen1644 Před 2 měsíci

      @@howardmighty6764 What are you unto?!

    • @noahhyde8769
      @noahhyde8769 Před 2 měsíci +18

      And so do those who collectively judge them. This woman despite all she's gone through was, nonetheless, consistently against collectively judging an entire community.

    • @noahhyde8769
      @noahhyde8769 Před 2 měsíci +10

      It's also important to grasp that whether one is Amish on one end of the scale or 'woke,' on the other, it is possible to be overly-rigid and insistent on certain things, and to have misplaced priorities. Human nature is human nature, no matter what one's beliefs are.

    • @knblutz
      @knblutz Před 2 měsíci

      Howard. See you at the Gate!
      God is watching

  • @guybreettaylor5810
    @guybreettaylor5810 Před 3 měsíci +435

    She really carried this interview herself, I forgot it was an interview felt like a monologue 👏👏👏 God bless her 🙏

  • @lottiemcdaniels1523
    @lottiemcdaniels1523 Před měsícem +9

    What an amazing , well spoken woman. I’ve learned a lot watching this.

  • @vijayagita3158
    @vijayagita3158 Před 27 dny +5

    What an amazing woman! brave and compassionate in the face of the worst of adversities, this kind of people are who make the world richer, thank you!

  • @GeorgeCampbell1964
    @GeorgeCampbell1964 Před 3 měsíci +1882

    It's extremely rare that an Amish person would even allow themselves to be photographed , let alone to be video taped. But it seems to me that she's trying to do right by standing against sexual abusers. I definitely stand behind her!

    • @GenXrCist669
      @GenXrCist669 Před 3 měsíci +65

      Not really. Well, although Mennonite, I’ve seen them with cameras, at Cedar Point, buying a box of butter from Aldi (a bad churning day?), and even at MicroCenter in Columbus, Ohio…modernity has encroached their lives and it is more and more difficult for them, especially business owners, not to use technology. We have a lot of different orders in central Ohio.

    • @GeorgeCampbell1964
      @GeorgeCampbell1964 Před 3 měsíci

      I'm in Alabama, So I've never anything like that here. Although, there is an Amish cabinet shop near by, but they're non practiceing... with the exception of their craftsmanship.​@@GenXrCist669

    • @BBAKER22
      @BBAKER22 Před 3 měsíci +50

      Extremely rare? Lol...WTF is WRONG with you? That's so NOT true

    • @Walter_Nepasky
      @Walter_Nepasky Před 3 měsíci +53

      One of the many myths that the English have about the Amish. Living around and working with them in northeastern Indiana completely blew away all the illusions I had of them. Most of the younger generations have social media, cell phones, bluetooth headphones, LED lights on their buggies, stereo systems, etc. It varies from group to group but the more you learn about each the more you'll be surprised at the "wordly" things they now embrace.

    • @k__stone
      @k__stone Před 3 měsíci +95

      She was speaking on stereotypes of the amish community in the very beginning. This is exactly what she was talking about. Each community/settlement is different.

  • @mistyblackfoot3848
    @mistyblackfoot3848 Před 3 měsíci +366

    I love how you just let her talk. She's so calm and measured.

    • @actual______criminal
      @actual______criminal Před 3 měsíci +8

      I wouldn’t say she seemed calm, you can hear the anxiety in her voice with every word she said

    • @cakez1515
      @cakez1515 Před 3 měsíci +5

      she still kept calm. that is impressive and admirable@@actual______criminal

  • @janemillerick9614
    @janemillerick9614 Před měsícem +6

    in watching all of this (I commented at the beginning) you are so eloquent; easily the story could be a memoir but this is enough. thank you so much.

  • @JohnMcKinney-uw8qc
    @JohnMcKinney-uw8qc Před měsícem +5

    Honestly one of the best interviews on this channel. I wish her nothing but the best!

  • @thewanderer1598
    @thewanderer1598 Před 3 měsíci +563

    Her calm tone and vocabulary and the structure of her speech is so amazing intelligent and soothing

    • @DesertBirdie
      @DesertBirdie Před 3 měsíci +8

      I agree like a teacher or something. I don't know but it's truely unique.

    • @annaholmberg6905
      @annaholmberg6905 Před 3 měsíci +11

      I could listen to her all day! Very captivating. 😊

    • @autumn3703
      @autumn3703 Před 3 měsíci +21

      She would do well with a channel of her own, just crocheting and telling stories. Like asmr or whatever

    • @lindseyanne1958
      @lindseyanne1958 Před 3 měsíci

      @@autumn3703 or audiobooks!

    • @lorizielinski227
      @lorizielinski227 Před 3 měsíci +6

      Watch her interview on Cults to Consciousness 5 months ago completely different persona!

  • @saturdayschild7835
    @saturdayschild7835 Před 3 měsíci +637

    She just came ALIVE when she started speaking about her clothes. What an amazing woman.

    • @shellybombshells
      @shellybombshells Před 3 měsíci +18

      I came here to say this too. You can see how happy she is to display her freedom and joy❤

    • @TACSmom
      @TACSmom Před 3 měsíci +10

      Agreed. She did.

    • @andromedaspark2241
      @andromedaspark2241 Před 3 měsíci +15

      She could write a best-selling autobiography, surely. She's eloquent, interesting in appearance and unique in her history which gives insight to a hidden part of America. I hope she considers it.

    • @HIPHOPisforlowIQsub-animals
      @HIPHOPisforlowIQsub-animals Před 3 měsíci

      ​ another biological clown whom has been unfortunately hindered from manifesting the circus existence that all sub-insect creatures strive for 😢

    • @anchony082
      @anchony082 Před 3 měsíci

      Was she supposed to come dead? Doofy azz

  • @llamafromspace
    @llamafromspace Před měsícem +6

    This person is incredible. The way she speaks is so thoughtful. Thabk you for sharing.

  • @beatrizbbaptista
    @beatrizbbaptista Před měsícem +6

    Such a profound sharing and interview and what a brave, honest, wise woman. Thank you for sharing, I'm in tears

  • @thygrrr
    @thygrrr Před 3 měsíci +378

    The thing she said: "[it's] more appropriate to say they're dying /from/ suicide."
    This hits way different.

    • @maureenobrien4807
      @maureenobrien4807 Před 3 měsíci +5

      2nd leasing cause if death in the under 18 zone.

    • @maureenobrien4807
      @maureenobrien4807 Před 3 měsíci +4

      LEADING

    • @jeanine701
      @jeanine701 Před 3 měsíci

    • @takyrica
      @takyrica Před 2 měsíci +3

      It does hit different. Makes it sound like someone else did the job, not the person who died

    • @xxhorrorpunkxx
      @xxhorrorpunkxx Před 2 měsíci +7

      @@takyrica The conditions and environment caused the person to die from suicide. Using the word commit implies that suicide should be viewed as a crime than rather a sickness that can be prevented.

  • @debmuel
    @debmuel Před 2 měsíci +440

    I love that Mary is crocheting while talking about her life. Years ago, my therapist encouraged me to bring my quilting to sessions so I had something to do with my hands and eyes while we talked. The things that were so hard spilled out while doing my handwork.

    • @emilyward4388
      @emilyward4388 Před měsícem +4

      That’s a great idea!! I never know what to do with my hands and start sweating while talking to my therapist

    • @amandabailey4896
      @amandabailey4896 Před měsícem +2

      @debmule I always have something in my hands I’m “working on” with my therapist too. I like that she understands and doesn’t mind because it makes me more comfortable.

    • @mickymcbryan4814
      @mickymcbryan4814 Před měsícem +3

      My therapist when I was living somewhere else as a teen had colouring pages, both adult and children, ranging in difficulty with supplies from kids crayons to pencil, to water colour paints. And I LOVED doing those while talking. Made the sessions themselves less traumatic.

  • @carolynpurser7469
    @carolynpurser7469 Před měsícem +5

    Thank you for taking a step back and allowing her to tell her story.

  • @heathernikki5734
    @heathernikki5734 Před měsícem +5

    I’ve never been SA’d but I’ve had other forms of abuse and I feel like she would be wonderful to talk to. So calm and articulate and intelligent

  • @cht2162
    @cht2162 Před 3 měsíci +504

    OMG. No idle hands here. Precise, thoughtful, analytical, intense, quiet. Reminds me so much of my paternal grandmother who, along with her family, was shunned by her Mennonite Community because my great grandmother attended the funeral of a Roman Catholic friend. (I'm 84 and my grandmother was born in 1878). Family lived in Western New York. Gram always had her bonnet and plain clothes and actually looked very much like Mary. The repercussions of that shunning still reverberate in my extended family with behavioral and mental health issues. Mary is a brilliant and courageous woman.

    • @beyondthedressingtable
      @beyondthedressingtable Před 3 měsíci +2

      You were born in 1984 or you are 84 xx

    • @han1nja
      @han1nja Před 3 měsíci +6

      sounds like you’ve got a fascinating story to share too - you should reach out to Mark & do an interview!

    • @sadiestoltzfus9798
      @sadiestoltzfus9798 Před 3 měsíci

      Mennonites do not practice shunning.

    • @Jonibaloneyji
      @Jonibaloneyji Před 3 měsíci +3

      I want that dress!

    • @Sheazoe_1999
      @Sheazoe_1999 Před 3 měsíci +3

      @@beyondthedressingtableI can’t believe u said that, if he was born in 1984 , he’d be 40 not no damn 84 smfh

  • @SandySass
    @SandySass Před 3 měsíci +608

    This woman is a poet, I could listen to her speak all day. Her timbre, cadence, and way with words is nothing short of a pleasure to the ears.

    • @veronicafernandezviejo8859
      @veronicafernandezviejo8859 Před 3 měsíci +1

      yep

    • @user-gb6nz9yn9g
      @user-gb6nz9yn9g Před 3 měsíci +20

      I knew if I looked in the comments I would find others who enjoyed her calm, patient, and thoughtful words as much as I do. I'm sad that she experienced what she did. I'm so grateful that she had the strength to tell the truth and share her story.

    • @nobueno8652
      @nobueno8652 Před 3 měsíci +5

      Kind of creepy too lol 😆

    • @madeincda
      @madeincda Před 3 měsíci +17

      ​@@nobueno8652Says more about you, doesn't it?

    • @hermajestyjenn7928
      @hermajestyjenn7928 Před 3 měsíci +3

      Very well said. I was thinking the same.

  • @rasunda
    @rasunda Před měsícem +3

    100% your best upload ever! Thanks for sharing!

  • @equalityreigns8578
    @equalityreigns8578 Před měsícem +5

    I'm so sorry for what you experienced. You are brilliant, beautiful, and a warrior survivor. Thank you for sharing your story and for making me stronger and smarter. 💕🙏

  • @mandia41566
    @mandia41566 Před 3 měsíci +278

    There’s no such thing as “just leave”… it goes way deeper psychologically.
    Thank you for bravely speaking up and speaking out.

    • @ahill4642
      @ahill4642 Před 3 měsíci +2

      Of course! It’s truly wrong to say “just leave”. Mary’s reaction to “are you in touch with your family” spoke volumes. Her pained face, her silence, her thoughtful answer. It’s not like these are just casual acquaintances she could up and ditch on a whim when things went sideways. It’s complicated.

  • @severtone263
    @severtone263 Před 2 měsíci +421

    I have no idea how she completed the entire interview without dropping a single tear. Thank you for sharing your humanity

    • @christinamckinney2370
      @christinamckinney2370 Před 2 měsíci +40

      She’s cried a lifetime of tears…..until she just stops. You recognize that they won’t change anything. SHE had to get up and CHANGE her circumstances…..and she did! 👏👏👏👏👏

    • @BruceDavenport-ds9gk
      @BruceDavenport-ds9gk Před 2 měsíci +4

      Luke 6:22-23

    • @lauracook8203
      @lauracook8203 Před 2 měsíci +24

      Hence the crocheting. It probably soothes her.

    • @mikeedmondson-yx4tr
      @mikeedmondson-yx4tr Před 2 měsíci +5

      Or stitch.

    • @Marchant2
      @Marchant2 Před 2 měsíci +11

      it appeared that she came close a couple of times.

  • @amynantz343
    @amynantz343 Před 29 dny

    This is one of the most insightful testimonies I've heard. Thank you for being brave enough to share your truth. And educating us all. I hope you have a blessed rest of your life❤

  • @suzannefrances3
    @suzannefrances3 Před 6 dny +2

    This is a wonderful interview. It was so nice to see Mary smile and relax when she spoke about her freedoms of expression. Such a beautiful soul.

  • @bonniewallace9083
    @bonniewallace9083 Před 2 měsíci +249

    I've never seen an interview where the one interviewed had so much space to think and process. She wasn't bombarded with questions but gently led. Fasinating.

    • @pechaa
      @pechaa Před 2 měsíci +5

      You might also like Mormon Stories Podcast. It's different, (some interruptions), but they are breathtakingly committed to listening to interviewees' whole story.

    • @bellaolum9768
      @bellaolum9768 Před 2 měsíci +4

      Very refreshing!

    • @hollydavis2261
      @hollydavis2261 Před 28 dny

      Bravo Mark

  • @sharleanebailey2795
    @sharleanebailey2795 Před 3 měsíci +359

    Absolutely breathtaking. She speaks so eloquently, and expresses herself so honestly. But her calm demeanor, the slow thoughtful way she speaks… this woman is a warrior. Thank you both for this episode. It really touched my heart. God’s blessings to you both.

  • @H0RR0R_HANG0VERZ
    @H0RR0R_HANG0VERZ Před měsícem +2

    I love this channel and I love the people who come and share their stories. Their vulnerability and honesty is simply beautiful! 💗
    - She mentions a docu-series called “Sins of the Amish”, I’m going to go watch that now.

  • @KS-yp1jl
    @KS-yp1jl Před měsícem +3

    Awesome interview, she's brilliant, mad respect! Love the way you handled this, Mark 👌🏼🏆

  • @booger1020
    @booger1020 Před 3 měsíci +258

    I love her. Absolutely respect her. I'm a therapist and for as long as I can remember, I have wanted to open a private practice that assists Amish/Anabaptist youth and adolescents.
    More of her please!

    • @rachelklenk4850
      @rachelklenk4850 Před 3 měsíci +12

      I am also a mental health counselor interested in this!

    • @ArmandoTarziu
      @ArmandoTarziu Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@rachelklenk4850Besides the false sabt(Sunday),and teh wide spread of spiritism(yog, karma, ouiaj bord, reiki,hipnosis), last final decie wil be ,atht satn himslef wil come as Hrist, sayinghe changed teh day of rest! And this decie wil be poerful for al those who dont read teh Bible for themseles,as it wil be flowed by great miracles and healings,everywere he wil apear! But teh Bible dosnt live su without wraning to this and cleaerly says aht when Jesius coems " All eyes wil see Him" ,so everyone on earth, wilse satans fake only here and there! -read Mathew chaoter 24! Another direct warning to teh spirit f the anthirst is in 2 Joan 7" anyone who says atht Jesus doenst coem in flesh/body, is teh spirit of the anthirst"! And i would sugest you get abook caled " The great cintroversy" by Ellen White, is ana mazing book, wich depicts the war betwen good and evil,from Lucifers afl til teh very end,and in the last few chapters, is everything about what we live, and whats toc eom, pure undiluted truth, with valiuble insights! God bless you all!

    • @booger1020
      @booger1020 Před 3 měsíci

      @@rachelklenk4850 I actually was in communication in 2010-ish with the author Saloma Furlong who is also ex-Amish and experienced abuse within her Amish community in Ohio. She has worked with Dr. Donald Kraybill who has done extensive work with the Amish communities. I wanted to open a practice that assists youths and adolescents in these communities that have suffered abuse and have decided to leave. I suggest looking up Saloma and Dr. Kraybill and getting more information.

    • @janicegullett8779
      @janicegullett8779 Před dnem +1

      She could teach so many girls and women from different walks of life because so many have the same experiences but different stories. Religious rule by men alone has very serious effects upon women.

  • @TheVictorOla
    @TheVictorOla Před 3 měsíci +956

    There's so much evil hiding under the guise of religion and decency.

    • @DubElementMusic
      @DubElementMusic Před 3 měsíci +8

      there is no good and evil anyway

    • @matt_milack
      @matt_milack Před 3 měsíci +66

      @@DubElementMusic If you think there's no evil, that can be for only one reason, you never met a genuinely evil person.

    • @lowkeyconvert8971
      @lowkeyconvert8971 Před 3 měsíci +65

      any pillar, institution or representation of power will be abused by humans. that includes religion.

    • @nessal4078
      @nessal4078 Před 3 měsíci +9

      Too right. It’s all power isn’t it 😩

    • @MrLeroyFox
      @MrLeroyFox Před 3 měsíci +28

      There is much evil in humans. Without religion we definitely would find other differences to be evil with.

  • @louisadrill7060
    @louisadrill7060 Před měsícem +8

    Cool dress. Thats what made me watch this is the unique outfit. The long amish dress with modern prints and the hair dyed with the bonnet. a definite statement.

    • @alisha_madariaga
      @alisha_madariaga Před 3 dny

      You must not have watched the whole video….
      She literally said “this is not a bonnet “. Lol

  • @ek5384
    @ek5384 Před 28 dny +3

    What a brilliant person! What an insightful, deeply introspective analysis of her past! One of the best interviews of this channel.

  • @susanstrand5599
    @susanstrand5599 Před 3 měsíci +432

    Wonderful interview. She’s not angry at the world. She’s angry at the people who deserve her anger for the despicable things that were allowed in what could have been a nurturing environment.

    • @ericb6048
      @ericb6048 Před 3 měsíci

      typical lefty, your anger is the only acceptable anger, right ?

    • @dangelo1369
      @dangelo1369 Před 3 měsíci +11

      @@ericb6048 So, does that make you a "typical righty"? Since when does "anger" have a political ideology behind it?

    • @InitialFailure
      @InitialFailure Před 3 měsíci +1

      ​@dangelo1369 when it's aimed in a particular fashion or way.

    • @msmith1613
      @msmith1613 Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@nicolekb12not with that attitude

    • @msmith1613
      @msmith1613 Před 3 měsíci +3

      ​@@ericb6048who let grandpa sneak his ipad into the nursing home? 🙄

  • @frankfurtonfoottours2361
    @frankfurtonfoottours2361 Před 3 měsíci +288

    She was amazing, but watching her sadness was almost overwhelming. She came alive though, when she talked about herself.
    Thank you, Mark for presenting one of the most unique interviews you have done. It will open a lot of eyes.

    • @rumham7466
      @rumham7466 Před 3 měsíci +18

      Watch some of her other interviews and her own videos, she seems like a sort of different person. You’ll see another side of her. She’s quite interesting. Just search Mary Byler Amish

    • @ahill4642
      @ahill4642 Před 3 měsíci +2

      I agree, her sadness made me cry, to be honest, and that is rare. But her joy is contagious, too.

    • @ThaDirtyVicar
      @ThaDirtyVicar Před 3 měsíci +1

      The sadness was really deep, that was the most difficult for me.

  • @AW-gh3yv
    @AW-gh3yv Před měsícem +2

    What a wonderful interview. You did great taking your time with the questions and giving proper silence to let her collect her thoughts and answer. Very brave woman to talk about all the horrors of growing up the way you did. I'm so sorry to hear the aftermath was so bad, to have all your family shun you for speaking the truth. You seem like a wonderful person to have as a friend. Also the shoes. I absolutely love the shoes.

  • @grum7140
    @grum7140 Před měsícem +4

    Glad she spoke out. And I’m also very glad that she clarified that not every community is like that, and that every Amish person is just a person. I work with almost only Amish and they are the nicest and most loving people that I know. So I lucked out and am near some amazing communities. But it also doesn’t surprise me that there are some horrible ones out there as well

  • @tracyleblanc5311
    @tracyleblanc5311 Před 3 měsíci +349

    Well said Mary well said. As I survior myself of sexual abuse, I too was shunned in a Catholic family. The abuser played the martyr and denied any wrong doing. My biological family rallied behind the abuser and continued to victimize me emotionally year after year. Sadly this is the story of many victims and why they stay silent. I am proud of you Mary for continuing your healing path and living your truth.

    • @gabagooler
      @gabagooler Před 2 měsíci +23

      I have catholic family members who are still in denial of abuse in the church. I’m so sorry your biological family continues to hurt you in that way. Thank you for sharing your story, I wish you nothing but strength and happiness

    • @LavenderLori406
      @LavenderLori406 Před 2 měsíci +10

      ♡♡♡

    • @marymitchell1736
      @marymitchell1736 Před 2 měsíci +18

      Thank you. My family still does not talk about multi generational sexual drama! I moved to sub arctic Alaska, as far away as I could!

    • @gaylebrooksvincent5771
      @gaylebrooksvincent5771 Před 2 měsíci +8

      Unfortunately, this just adds to children's and adults fears that they won't be believed.
      So sorry your own family didn't believe you

    • @caithlinmeave4305
      @caithlinmeave4305 Před 2 měsíci +7

      The experience of loosing your whole family & extended family through shunning is hard for many to understand. The hurt & pain & disbelief when you feel that you are not ‘worth’ being listened to or supported on top of the aftermath of abuse & loosing everything you’ve ever known is huge, unfathomable to most. Getting on with living & loving is a long road. Strength to all of us who walk this path ❤

  • @CeruleanSky1111
    @CeruleanSky1111 Před 3 měsíci +419

    The way she described her life, tribulations, grief, sadness, Self discovery, self acceptance, the sheer joy she took in describing her dress and her bonnet in such a low key rebellious way, and that sigh at the very end… All of it, it just got me. Deeply. Profoundly. She touched my heart. ❤️

    • @GinaFerraro
      @GinaFerraro Před 3 měsíci +14

      “It’s not a bonnet” (in her voice of course)

    • @shirleyclifford9650
      @shirleyclifford9650 Před 3 měsíci +9

      I♥️💛💚💙💜 the dress!

    • @patriciapursell6202
      @patriciapursell6202 Před 3 měsíci +5

      She looks so sad

    • @j3ff3ry18
      @j3ff3ry18 Před 3 měsíci

      she would let her hair down at an Experimental Drum & Bass event if she could use Über to get to whatever warehouse it was thrown in You can always tell the type who go into dance trances by their vibe. She got a repressed "shakeit to the beat " thing goin' on & some wildin' would benefit her,imho

    • @CeruleanSky1111
      @CeruleanSky1111 Před 2 měsíci

      @@GinaFerraro I stand corrected, and love your comment. I can hear her saying that to me in her gentle, somewhat stern, matter of fact voice and she brings me joy telling me so.

  • @teresasmith4383
    @teresasmith4383 Před měsícem +1

    What a great interview. You allowed her to talk and didn’t interrupt her train of thought. Thank you for that. All the best for you and for Mary.

  • @mamabear2222
    @mamabear2222 Před měsícem +1

    Mark I hope you do a part 2 with Mary. This is by far your most moving imo and you have many great interviews. Mary if you read these comments I want you to know you have made more of an impact in being brave enough to make that report all those years ago and get those monsters prosecuted, and you are making an impact now by continuing to speak out and do work for your people. You brought me to tears. Thank you so much. You are so loved and so important. ❤

  • @sabrinao1209
    @sabrinao1209 Před 2 měsíci +343

    Her “thank you” and sigh at the end. I have no words. Powerful captivating interview.

    • @user-uv2wz2me3e
      @user-uv2wz2me3e Před 2 měsíci +10

      God Bless you for speaking “pure” truth and setting bondage free. 🤔❤️

    • @frankbaird8645
      @frankbaird8645 Před 2 měsíci +8

      Clearly very cathartic for her. I cannot relate to her experiences except in a very tiny way. I've seen hypocrisy in church, but nothing like that. She is amazingly strong.

    • @user-zy3zd3sx2d
      @user-zy3zd3sx2d Před 2 měsíci +5

      That sigh signals there's more to tell. We'll likely be hearing from Mary as she goes forward. It appears she still does subscribe to Amish customs. Her flat manner of speaking is how people from oppressed environs speak.

  • @URAWESOME94
    @URAWESOME94 Před 3 měsíci +424

    This was one of the most compelling interviews yet.
    The cadence of her speech reflects incredible strength, while simultaneously reflecting unimaginable pain.
    Seeing her crocheting and reliving those painful memories brought an indescribable feeling. Surprisingly soothing yet also inspiring and sorrowful.

    • @JamesMikula-yo6or
      @JamesMikula-yo6or Před 3 měsíci +8

      And no interview needed, she just interviewed herself, beautifully done

    • @SkinWitchNYC
      @SkinWitchNYC Před 3 měsíci +1

      U have to see the interview of the orthodox Jewish woman. It is incredible. I’m watching this one now.

    • @meiphukingdiqq
      @meiphukingdiqq Před 3 měsíci +1

      All the way up until she lied about being in the Army. She had me going up till then. This ain't the first aspiring actor/actress to dupe homie.

    • @douggodfrey6521
      @douggodfrey6521 Před 3 měsíci +2

      She's articulate thoughtful
      & centered ?
      Bet that didn't help her
      fit into a highly regulated
      clanish group scene.

    • @meiphukingdiqq
      @meiphukingdiqq Před 3 měsíci

      Ooooooohhhhh and I just watched more of it and she pronounced Lancaster wrong. She pronounced it like anybody from outside of PA would pronounce it, "Lan-caster" yet she claims to be PA Amish, which means she would pronounce it the other way "Lancister". BUSTED!!! 😆

  • @savannahweymouth7370
    @savannahweymouth7370 Před 25 dny +3

    I could listen to her talk for hours. Thank you for sharing your story Mary 🫶🏻

  • @harmony4me100
    @harmony4me100 Před měsícem +5

    Absolutely a beautiful soul. I appreciated of hearing her story to understand and knowledge of the culture we know little about until someone like Mary allows us in by sharing her experience throughout her life. ❤

  • @amyedie8902
    @amyedie8902 Před 3 měsíci +264

    Sending 12 men sends a clear message… what we’re dealing with here is an ear drum busting whistle blower who’s not a-scared of religious gang thugs, nor the devil before daylight . Much gratitude for the big bravery! CROTHET ON, SISTER!! You rock.

    • @DanielCardin_ATX
      @DanielCardin_ATX Před 3 měsíci +2

      She’ll answer for this narcissistic betrayal

    • @nismo2070
      @nismo2070 Před 3 měsíci +15

      @@DanielCardin_ATX There are no gods. Only horrible people that use superstition to control others.

    • @ahill4642
      @ahill4642 Před 3 měsíci +9

      @@DanielCardin_ATX Betrayal of the people abusing children you mean? Surely you are not for allowing same…?

    • @ahill4642
      @ahill4642 Před 3 měsíci +11

      @@DanielCardin_ATX Please explain how she’s narcissistic? By not tolerating abuse? By embracing her autonomy? By using her own significant god-given brain to choose how she wishes to live her own precious life? To create a life for herself that celebrates who she is and allows her to bring her best self to the world?

    • @ahill4642
      @ahill4642 Před 3 měsíci +2

      @@nismo2070 I respect your view. Mine is that God is Love, and if we’re on the right path in our lives, no one will get controlled or abused or hurt.

  • @ignitionSoldier
    @ignitionSoldier Před 3 měsíci +239

    This is easily one of the most interesting guests you have had in a long time.

    • @jacquelineem1991
      @jacquelineem1991 Před 3 měsíci +3

      agree!!

    • @TreBells-fn7gq
      @TreBells-fn7gq Před 3 měsíci +2

      Agreed!

    • @StephieGsrEvolution
      @StephieGsrEvolution Před 3 měsíci +1

      Yes! 💯

    • @ThePolypam
      @ThePolypam Před 3 měsíci +3

      Agree. There's only so many tweaked out, codependent, self-indulgent addicts one can listen to before it gets tedious. More people with varied and *truly* untold stories.

  • @chevellesharp6535
    @chevellesharp6535 Před měsícem +5

    This is one of my favorite of your interviews ❤
    God bless her for having courage to tell her story and the strength to stand up for herself in a place where your taught not to .I thank her and you for shedding light on these types of issues and showing others you can get out n you can have justice.
    🙏 I pray Mary is living her best life .

    • @gregsimmons694
      @gregsimmons694 Před měsícem +1

      God bless you. Pray for the world! Jesus saves sinners!

  • @mrwalter7205
    @mrwalter7205 Před měsícem +1

    These are the interviews that I truly love and get the most out of!!!