The Father Wound How Your Father Shaped Your Mental Health
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- čas přidán 21. 07. 2024
- Whether or not we like it, our father helped shape us.
Regardless of your relationship with your father, they had a significant influence on shaping your relationship to yourself and the world.
Today we go over some of these ways in order to help us identify any paternal wounds we may be carrying and help us start healing them.
Always cheering for you,
Deniss
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Please talk about how we can heal father and mother wounds.
EMDR Therapy. Working wonders for me with my mother wound. (Abuse, neglect then abandonment) I feel significantly better.
@@MickeyDs-mp7yrI second this. EMDR is the gold standard for trauma therapy for sure.
I would always compare my childhood to others, thinking I didn’t have it as bad, but by doing that I was silencing my inner child
My father has been absent for about 70% of my life because he works abroad. Firstly the relationship between my father and my mother is so volatile I don’t even know how and why they’re still together... maybe because of us, their children.
He’s an emotionally unstable man and it’s quite evident because my mother cannot even engage him in certain conversations because “He’ll become angry”.
My parents barely even know us, their children and I find that quite sad.
My parents were never there on my graduation, prize giving day, and a whole lot.
And approval and attention from them is totally based on our “Academic achievements” and only that.
Not because of who we actually are are human beings.
Thank you for sharing your story. You've got some amazing insights and I wish you well in your healing journey.
I am very sorry that happened. I relate. You deserve more. I wish you well on your healing journey as well ❤️🩹
I feel you. Same with me .
My dad converted to Quaker religion because they believe in peace. The consequence of this was that he was not protective or even showed the slightest bit of upset when my sister and I were repeatedly subject to fights in school and criminal violence as young adults. He thought this type of lack of response, was being peaceful. I don't wish this type of peaceful Quaker dad on anyone. And how are we supposed to be feminine in such cases when we don't get proper protection.
Ok, I don't know if I should share this publically but about my father, my grandpa died when my dad was only in grade 9, he worked super hard and he was in a very big position in civil service, my dad always was sensitive and emotional but he was also very confident and very competitive but he actually was very very handsome and always women's favorite and he cheated on my mother multiple times and manipulated mom but he also provided for the family but very possessive about my mother now he is no more he passed away when I was 16 due to covid regardless of everything I was emotionally very linked to my father and he was caring too but emotionally sensitive and unstable sometimes also had a superior ego but also a genius and hardworking person + super protective about us, Now when he is not with us I miss him so much and feel so depressed and sad now,😔. I always thought my dad was my superhero and I always had less self-esteem as a kid because of being bullied but I always thought I could vent out my emotions with my dad now I feel so so anxious when I am at home and miss him miserably. 😭😭😢
Happy I found you. In my lifetime, I've probably interacted, visited, spoken to my dad about five short times. My parents divorced when I was four. The figure of a dad is a mystery to me. I've seen others with their dads and never had feelings yay or nay, it's far removed from me and my life. I don't understand it and oddly never longed for it. I don't know it. If I did think about it, it was a scary thought. I'm sure not having this figure in my life has effects I'm not even aware of. Because I don't know what it's like to have a dad. Dad's are protectors of their family, they provide a home and things we want. My Mom was this figure for me. Anxious to watch your video. Thank you.
Same. Never had one. Never missed it. Had a massive effect I later realized. Also, a crazy mother.
I pray that we all heal. I don’t even know what to di
My father was absent. Abusive with my mother. Not with me. He had multiple women and have multiple stepbrothers. He was never there for any of us. He tried to be overprotective when he was present, like 2 or 3 times in a year if I got lucky. He took me away from my mother when I was a baby, never knew why. I haven't confronted him because he plays the nice guy, which he probably is, but never stood up against the emotional abuse of her wife. Now I get to pay the faults of his narcissistic, selfish, absence and abusive behavior with a General Anxiety Disorder, Chronic Depression and Insomnia and God knows how many other mental illnesses I got.
Hope you'll heal soon
I haven’t had much of a relationship with my father. He was there but also not at the same time. He’s worked as a trucker most of his life and mine so he’s been away a lot
My parents and damn near whole family has passed since 2012 I'm an orphan adult only child lost trying to figure out how to wake up in pure angst and torment and figure this shit out before it kills me. I have no support system haven't for a long time. If anyone wants to reach out anything kind to say any recognition for things I've made it through so far would mean so much. Often find myself at times " oh shit I'm still here?!?", "What have we been doing now". The disassociation is extremely debilitating especially when trying to navigate parenting.
❤❤❤ sending you some love. I’m an adult orphan too 😢
You are rly great at explaining this. Really gives me something to think about
I feel like I'm releasing every time I watch one of your videos, thanks
I just found this page and I loved this video. I found it very informative I’ll definitely be watching your other videos 👍🏾
This is the most useful helpful video that I have seen in a long long time. ❤❤❤❤ thanks for that. Felt like a breeze past through my chest.
Wao 111 likes ❤️ thankyou so much universe 🌺 thankyou so much mam 🥰🙏🌺
Thank you so much for watching!
I wish my father was like the character of Chris Evans(our captain america) in "Gifted"(2017).
Same always makes me cry
😞❤ thank you for this video. so true
I believe what you are saying regarding our biological parents molecular level. I've read this with Dr. Van Der Kolk's The Body Keeps The Score. However, I love the way you explain it. So understandable, simple yet brief and very accomodating
This is soooo beautiful, thank you 🙏
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
My father left my mother when she was pregnant with my youngest sister. He got with another woman who could get him drugs. He's an alcoholic. He was barely there later on in life as we were growing up. My sisters have moved on and don't care about him now ( there in their 30s) but me being almost 40 it still haunts me. And makes me upset.
This explains so much
Thank you for this video and I like ur voice 😊
Pls talk how to heal such wounds, to set our lives on right path
When I was 23 years old I had the chance to get married to the woman of my dreams! I told my mother the news she says " ok well you better let your dad know" ( stupid mistake. I said " Dad I'm getting married" my father ten says " No son you can't get married, your just a little short guy, what if she kicks you out of her house? You don't know how to fight or defend t, No you can't!" Scenes that day I gave up on myself and looking for love 😢😢😭😭 so stupid of me!!!
It's hard to make decisions when we don't have our parents support. I hope this video was helpful in your journey to healing your father wound.
@@TherapyExplained you can make decisions even if you dont have support you can develope yourself and your emotional intelligence and you can trust yourself in going forward in life and have a loving relationship even if family childhood was really bad..i am an example..people need tools of empowerment..love kindness compassion..but first need to leave people pleasing and victim mentality..need to have love compassion kindness for themselfs no matter what! Faith in God as well..faith that everything is happening for a reason and will work out in their favour.
Sounds like my dad. I feel you.
@@jacintasimon9388thank you
You’re not stupid at all. You did exactly what’s expected of children. You listened to your dad. Within the traditional model of parenting, that’s what a good child should do. Your pain is not due to your stupidity, it’s the result of the flawed parenting model in which you were raised. I wish you the best in your healing journey.
My dad was the most responsible man I ever met oh my life which means the rest were completely bastads and it is because I never had support so I was very capable and men compared themselves to me instead of supporting me and I never knew how it is to attract support . So I don’t get into relationships because I know I attract bad things so I stay myself horrible
Thank you!
You are awesome
Thank you 🤍
Well. I was born 9. Months after my father returned from War in Viet Nam. He was heavily exposed to agent orange.
Dear Deniss, thanks for yr great video. As a father fighting to see my daughter more than an hour per week may I put you a question. Many women, even some specialists in the custody area mean that children need basically one fix person, i.e. a stable one. If there's an additional one, then better. But basically children can with an appropriate main-person, with someone there for them, grow up good enough. The assertion that a child necessarily needs a father is false, they say. What is your position on those assertions?
Thanks a lot.
New Subby and I'm here to stay 💃
I have a lot of catching up to do. I need all these videos
So glad you are here!
He hates and loves me at the same time its like in ongoing war of both why ?
My mom had to take antibodies suppressant to prevent hemolytic disease. I'm curious if that affects me.
Recently lost my mom and i can't leave with my father and his family
My father has NEVER been there. Don’t know the man and don’t see anything wrong with his absence. I honestly believe a man’s role is to protect and provide… a mother’s role is to nurture her child. I know there’s always been this push for men to remain apart of the family fold, but I don’t believe it’s in a man’s nature (as a collective) 🙌🏽
If he’s never there though how is he going to protect and provide? I do think a child feels unsafe and will probably think it did something wrong if its father is actually absent for a prolonged time.
@@3313xx A child would only think something’s wrong if they have a notion of what a family’s dynamic should be. And I didn’t say a father shouldn’t be there at all.. mine wasn’t…. but I’m saying fathers can be present to some degree … just not in the capacity of a nuclear family. I think they should be there to provide the necessities and protection is apart of provision.
They are also supposed to show their daughters how a man is supposed to treat her. If hes emottionally unavailable tthe daughter is starved for that love and connecting and therrefore seeks that connection in her adult relationships, which gets messy.
I'm trying hard to watch this..
How do heal when our father hated us?
How can I work with you . I want to show up for myself more in the world & have a negative judgement around my father . Then Shame on myself .
My Dad died when I was 2.
What about narcisstic father and I was Always the black sheeps and scapegoat....
💯💯💯
Thanks for these videos! You have a relatable, easy to follow and to the point approach with actionable steps. Really appreciate it 😊 btw,
Do you have any recommendations for the best therapy modalities worth exploring for healing CPTSD from childhood until adulthood?
Hope you don't mind me hopping in here. I have CPTSD. A combo of therapy (CBT), healthy nutrition, yoga and psilocybin mushrooms have completely changed my life for the better. Psychedelics are a bit controversial though and they aren't suitable for everyone. I also hear really great things about EMDR. Hope this helps!
❤❤❤
Best ways to heal?
Muy bien. Que pasen Buenas noches 🥱.
gracias! :)
Keshava ♥️? ♥️
Some guy puts himself to the side perfect puts you in a containment it's the relationship with female siblings they trigger him and focus problem onto you they don't help just make it worse
She can’t get the help she needs because we lost her trust by the way we treated and raised her when she needed help. She doesn’t trust us anymore as you can see she is protecting herself from us because we had indeed forfeited her trust due to our clear and obvious harmful actions or inactions on our part. So yes, we are partly responsible for her difficulties in overcoming the struggles she faced.
My dad was never very nice to me. I never really felt safe, liked or loved with him because he could say mean things or just put off an energy that he just didn’t respect my life or my feelings at all. Towards the ending of our relationship he was straight up calling me names, downplaying me constantly and was just generally awful in the way he treated me. He was constantly mean, specifically to me, all the time. It went beyond logic.
@@QueXLcior I feel you! Sometimes is better to cut off those kind of people from our lives at the same time forgiving and detach❤ That's what I did
what you say is great, although I daren't write here in comments, as I Do go ON AND ON AND GET VERY BORING AND NOBODY READS. So, I'll just have to read/listen over and digest&dictate into Word my responses. Best I can do.
Thank you very much, anyroad! “KjierstenSedDat!!!!”
My father, dsre i say thst word, wss a grown, fat TODDLER.
My mother said she only noticed that , once i came along. He reverted to babyhood, became useless
and jealous . Another child for her to care for. It would have been better for me if i never knew him. Useless , dsngerous , i never had any respect for him. Was relieved when he finally smoked himself to death.
I'm sorry for your experience.
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How your single mothers affected your mental health.