I wanted a girl! | How I got over Gender Disappointment (helpful TIPS)
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- čas přidán 21. 07. 2024
- I'm pregnant with yet another baby boy! I'm elated now, but it wasn't always that way. Here are my honest feelings about learning I was having another boy, and how I got over gender disappointment. I'll give you tips that helped me move on.
I also wrote a blog about gender disappointment which is available here: www.chastitychanel.com/blog-1...
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Pregnant with my 3rd son and really struggling so thank you for sharing this Taboo topic. The hardest part for me is knowing that the people around me also feel disappointed, my mother in law especially so dealing with my own disappointment plus knowing I’ve disappointed everyone else is also hard. Even strangers make horrible comments like “oh what a shame, another boy”. It’s hard enough dealing with your own emotions, now everyone else’s too. I just want to hide from everyone
I couldn't stand that! I hated when others offered their opinion. I see it's been a year since this comment, I pray you're well and that your sweet baby boy is well. Boys are amazing and it's an honor to love on them
Your daughter might not want a wedding or maybe she won’t want to have kids or have you be part of her birthing experience. Having a boy or girl doesn’t guarantee you of anything cuz not all girls are the same and not all boys are the same, each kid has their own individuality
For sure! Which is precisely why I called that out in the video as something to remember ;-)
Currently crying because I just found out we are expecting our third boy 😭
We only tried again because we wanted to give it another go for a girl.
I'm in the same boat!
@@spectre4194 in the past 3 weeks I have come around the idea and I am now excited. Hopefully the same happens to you 💕
Guess who is pregnant AGAIN with a third boy, ME! Haha. Whew, this one was tough because the pregnancy as an accident and I found myself feeling those same feelings. But then I remembered how awesome my 2 boys are and actually got excited. No idea how I'll send three kids to college though lol. If you see this, please circle back and let me know how your labor and delivery went! I hope all is well
Im in the same boat. I am still crying
Also pregnant with my 3rd boy haha I was super cool with my first two boys (always wanted 2 boys and 1 girl) so I was super close to getting my ideal. I’m sad as this is probably our last but just thankful for healthy babies at the end of the day.
I’m struggleing right now with gender dissapointment, I feel awful, I feel all the thing you mention in your video.. I always picture myself as a mom of two girls.. Two years ago I had my first child, a boy, it’s the BEST thing it happened to me.. I got pregnant for the second time and I was truly NOT ready to have a second child, but I got though it thinking about the ilusion to have the girl I always dreamed for... yesterday I found my baby it’s a boy... and all my ilusions came to nothing... I’m really exited to have another boy, I know it’s going to be amazing!! but this is my last pregnancy... I will not be able to be a girl’s mom never... I just feel like a part of my heart will be missing forever... but deep inside I know I will be extremly happy with my two boys... but for now it just hurt so see that ilusion fade away...
Thanks for sharing your story!! 💙
Yes! I can relate 100%!!! I know exactly how you feel and the weird mix of emotions that happen. I've found with time things have gotten so much better. I'm at Buy Buy Baby now about to shop for him lol. I'll bet the same will be true for you 💙💙
Chastity Chanel I really can’t wait for that time to come for me! I’ll be so exited to start shopping for him! thanks again for this video... it really helps :)
@@kendraolivares15 my pleasure! And thanks for watching. Reach out anytime
no wonder your child will be depressed in the future
In tears that I have a boy. I don’t want to feel like this. 😢
Sitting in as a great grandmother. This is real talk. So proud of you. And you are glowing beautifully!
The feminine energy. Passing the wisdom through sisterhood. Those milestones unique to our gender. It is only natural a woman wants to give this to her daughter and a father to his son. Nonetheless, the relationship with your son will be one of the greatest in the world but definitely understand that need and i think almost every woman has it
THIS, THIS, ALL OF THIS!!!!!! Baby boy came and I'm actually expecting my THIRD boy haha. Can't wait to meet him and watch my boys grow together. They bring me great joy
Hi, the moment I became mother. I understand how is important to have a girl. When you have sons, you are the last one for everything ( wedding) you are not the one who mother calls for help. The daughter-in-law calls her mother for the help not you
I mean of course she will
Lol fine by me! I would be stressed out if my daughter in law kept calling me to whine about wedding details.
This is something that needs to be discussed more ❤️
I really needed this ❤ As a feminist coming from a family in which I've always heard sentences such as "after two attempts we've had a boy" (the two attempts being my sister and I), I've always imagined myself as a mother of girls, teaching them to fight for their rights and their ideals. I experienced a miscarriage in 2019 and now I'm 24w pregnant with a boy...I have absolutely no idea how to raise a male child or even to bond with one, and this sensation is devouring me, especially since my husband seems over the moon! Before watching your video I was ashamed for my feelings, thank you for taking the time (and the courage!) to share your experience!
Whew, I can relate! What I found is that there's just something special about a mom's relationship with her son. We have instincts that kick in and help us parent them. And now, you'll get to raise a man who will understand how important it is to value and respect women which is so important. If you remember, circle back after her arrives and let me know how you're doing.
Please let me know how you feel now. I’m dealing with the same feelings atm.
@@Frietoe terrible mother. U are disgusting if ur sad that ur child happens to be male
I wanted a boy 💙😩 but I am pregnant with a girl and no lie I’m a bit disappointed but I know she will bring me joy and healing 💕
Update? I’m going through this pain and disappointment I can’t stop cryin
Thanks for the video
This is a great video! Very well spoken❣ great information. Thank you💕
Nikeeya!! Appreciate your support so so much!
Thank you so so much for this video, I am going through the same thing at the moment and just feeling understood has made the biggest difference
It's my pleasure!! I totally know how you feel. Just finished snuggling my baby boy before putting him to bed. He's the sweetest!! Wouldn't trade him for the world. I know you'll feel the same way
This was so helpful!!! I’m now past the disappointment to think of boy names! I had the girl name picked out and ready to go but now I can think of boy names and that makes me so excited!
I had the girl names picked out as well. No idea what I should name my boy.
Same, I still see a little girl when I think about my baby. I feel so guilty.
I'm pregnant with my first, and I've always envisioned having a girl. I found out today that it's a boy and I've cried several times. I feel guilty for being upset, I know it's something that will pass. I'm about to try the shopping tip! Thank you for talking about gender disappointment!
Same here! I found out today that it is a male baby and I am feeling sad! Everyone keeps saying “he will be a big brother for your girl!” and that makes me so upset. We only want one baby, and I always wanted a girl.
Chastity love this video. Thank you for the transparency. I am a mom of 3 and gender disappointment is real. I faced it with my 1st child, only because I knew I was going to be a single parent and I wanted a girl. I felt this way only because I felt like I would not know how to take care of a boy. When I found out I was having a boy, I was disappointed. But like you once I felt that kick and started looking at the ultrasound my feelings started to change. When he was born my whole world changed. I was so in love with my son. There was such a joy that came over me. Now with my second child, my husband faced gender disappointment. He didn’t have a son and that’s what he wanted. But we had a girl. I was excited, right?! Well long story short, our last child was a boy. So all in all, just wanted to say these are real feelings and it happens. Thank you for letting mom’s know we don’t have to be ashamed of that. Plus, I believe ALL children are a blessing from God and there is no denying that ❤️. Shanna
Yes!!! You summed it up perfectly. They're all a blessing, it can just be a journey. Appreciate your support so much! ❤️❤️🤗
I think the gender disappointment is normal for a lot of people. As you grow you realise the blessing of having a child is greater than any gender disappointment and you might completely change your mind. Thanks for this video and tips really useful for all 💕
1. SHOPPING!!!! YEEEESS!!!! 💙
2. HE IS PERFECT!!!! 💙
3. LOOOOOVE the Batman room!! 💙
4. LOVE YOU and your entire crew!
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LET'S GOOOOOOOO!!!! 😘😘😘💙💙
This is real Chas, thank you for sharing
This video made me feel much better. I felt horrible for being so upset about finding out the gender to my baby today. I love him so much already but i just can’t shake the thought that I will never have my mother daughter experience.
Thank you thank you thank you for this. We found out today it’s a boy and I’m crushed. I was convinced it was a girl. My husband also wanted a girl. He’s doing ok. I’m not. I needed to hear someone else say these things. I’ve felt guilty for being upset all day.
I really needed this! Just found out I'm having a boy. Super disappointed but still grateful he's healthy
I’m pregnant with my first baby. I checked the Chinese calendar and it said girl but I want a boy😔😔 I’ve really been trying to be ok with it but it’s hard, I’m so happy to finally become a mother just don’t know how to feel about having a girl. I want to have another maybe two more but for sure at least one more and I’m starting to realize I may have another girl😞😞 either way I’m going to love my babies and try to give them the world… yet I still see myself longing for a boy, I’m not even sure of the gender but everyone says the Chinese calendar is very accurate so I’m already like😫😫 I appreciate you sharing this video Queen🥰 thank you!
What do you have?
Chinese calendar was 100% wrong for me lol
My son is 20 and I was never able to bond with him. It’s not his fault. I lost my first born daughter. I wanted a daughter so bad. When I found out that he was a boy I was so devastated and I considered abortion. Gender disappointment seems to be accepted as long as you eventually accept that disappointment. But I never did. I went through the motions of motherhood. I did what was required to care for him. I faked the love and affection,but I never could bond. I stayed with my abusive ex husband for him to have a two parent home.I had a difficult pregnancy and birth and it was for naught. You couldn’t express disappointment 20 years ago much less get therapy. I have a son, but I don’t love or feel a bond with him.
I am over here crying because I wanted a boy. Just because I was molested by my moms brother when I was 6. And I am traumatized and don’t want my girls go thru what I did. Molested by strange old men. And I promised God I would be careful with my daughters. But I am not a 100% perfect person. I just don’t know. I am pregnant with my 2nd daughter and I just don’t want them to suffer. :(
Thisssss! Omg, this was one of my fears of having a daughter. Several men in my family were sexually abusive to girls in the family and this was one of my fears.
My first is a girl, she is almost two and I don't even like men holding her in their laps, it's a constant worry and gives me so much anxiety. I just pray and keep her as close as I can.
Needed to see this as I’m here 20weeks pregnant with my second boy found out through blood test didn’t confirm on ultrasound yet and I was shocked because I longed for a girl before I could remember I love my first born son and said it would be the best to just have the pair, this pregnancy was so different and I got caught up in all the old wives tale that hinted girl, I just felt it in my spirit it was, I wanted a girl because I lost my mom when I was a teen and didn’t get to have that mom and daughter bond I missed that so I thought I would have that if I ever get a daughter, I think the Hardest for me is going shopping and seeing the little girls section I get really emotional. I Am trying to cope now visioning both my son matching and them growing close as brothers it does help, & I really don’t know if I will try for #3 as I’m scared it might be a boy again.
I love my son but i experienced this, 3 of my friends, sister in law and cousin all had girls when i had a boy, i have no sisters i had no grandmothers, im pregnant now and cant imagine not having a girl.. I missed out on sister sister bond, and grandmother bond i cant imagine not experiencing mother daughter bond with me being the mother.. I have a great relationship with my mother she is my best friend and cant imagine that bond ending with us 💔
At this point ..right here...right now, I'm feeling disappointed. I'm not ungrateful but the gender I was hoping for I found out today was not. I am really crushed.
Gender disappointment is normal. I had 3 sons. I felt the same way my forth is a girl. My husband and i decided that our forth baby was our last even before we knew the gender. It was a big surprise.
Congratulations!!! Maybe you can give me tips because 2 is hard!! Can't imagine 4.
So I’m pregnant with my second boy 👦 I had a miscarriage before this one it was a girl. I felt ripped of n sad! I always wanted 1 of each! After my miscarriage I said myself I’m happy healthy baby! Even so finding out second boy just made me little sad , seeing him on scans def helps me! I started talking other mums who just have boys too!! I feel bad I feel upset but I know it’s ok to be ….. his my rainbow baby! I love him so much but I’ll prob try no 3 one day … it’s a real thing ! Xxx
I have two girls and the anxiety relating to my desire for a son is so out of control I’ve been avoiding looking at the results of my third baby’s gender. I still don’t know because I’m not ready to find out it’s a third girl. I would be devastated.
What do you have?
I'm the opposite, I'm terrified of having a girl. I want 3 boys so you are pretty much living my dream 😂
Me too. I want a baby boy!
Me too i want baby boy
Currently preparing myself for if I’m having a girl I can find out the results in a few weeks and I just keep thinking to myself “if it’s another girl what am I going to do” I definitely will be happy for my daughter to have a sister but I myself don’t have super close relationships with my sisters or my mom so that may be why I feel the way I do. I want boys because they get very attached to their mommas. Thanks for this video! ❤️
what was it
Very helpful! Thanks hon ❤️
I’ve never had a kid but I want a daughter very badly and I’ve dealt with being extremely terrified of having a boy, because honestly pregnancy and childbirth sound like things I do not want to have to do more than once to get a daughter lol. Anyway, something that helps me a LOT is to remember that gender literally will not determine anything about your child’s personality. Like, even if you ended up getting the gender you wanted in your baby, even still then you have to remember that this idealized vision of your life and their life is made up. Yes, girls usually have a set of feminine traits and characters and the same goes for boys with masculine characteristics, but that’s also a result of the way we raise kids to fall into their gender norms. If you envisioned talking about boy crushes with your daughter, or helping her dress up for prom, or buying dolls and girly clothes for her or whatever, just remember that your kid could be gay first of all, your kid could end up not identifying with their gender assignment from birth, or your kid could simply just not cater to traditional gender roles. Most likely, they won’t cater to gender norms in all the exact ways you expect them to. The gender of your baby will not determine their personality or the experiences you have with them growing up, but again, your feelings are valid and this is still a hard thing to come to terms with sometimes. Gender disappointment is very real but I think the sooner we try to dismantle heteronormativity and cis-normativity, the better off both we and our children are
Thank you for talking about this.
Your words....exactly what I was feeling. Thank you for this video! Found out recently having I'm a second son, I know the moment he arrives I wouldn't trade him for anything 💙
I cried when i found out i was having a boy in my first pregnancy. I wanted a girl. But fortunately i had a girl with my second child . I love them both ... dearly
Yes!! I feel the same way about both of my babies. So grateful for them
Okay don’t brag lol
Fortunately u had a girl?? U dont deserve ANY child. Terrible “mother”
I was expecting a boy and found out that I’m having a girl. Although I always wanted a girl but somehow my pregnancy symptoms convinced everyone that I’m having a boy and when I found out that it’s not a boy I literally felt as if I lost the child I already bonded with. I get what you saying
Hey hun!.. I came across your channel this morning. I'm on my way to my appointment to find out the gender. I prayed for a girl. I've even had dreams about a baby girl.. If it's a boy I'm going to be devastated. But those are just my feelings and we all have a right to feel how we feel.. wish me luck lol..
What did u find out,,,,my appointment is on Monday, am scared, I want a girl too, i already have a son
@@godliveratieno8401 I am having a boy. I'm having a hard time processing it. It's on my mind constantly. I never wanted anymore children and I took every precaution not to get pregnant but I'm guessing god had other plans. But I said well since I'm pregnant I pray it's a girl. I just never wanted a boy, like ever.. My first is a girl. She is 12. When I found out I was pregnant I asked the lord why me? After my first pregnancy years ago I just never wanted any more kids. My pregnancy was great, labor was a breeze. I just didnt want another unplanned pregnancy with a man. And I wanted to be married. I cant lie and say abortion didnt cross my mind because it did.. I made appointments but everytime something came up with my job and i couldn't make it. I never believed in abortion before and I just felt like I needed one. To me 2 kids is too many. My career is going like I need it, I just moved into my new place, my daughter will be 18 in a few years and I just didnt want to start all over again. I'm financially stable to raise another child but another child just wasnt in my future at this point. I hate to say this but I already had a disconnection with the pregnancy to begin with and now that it's a boy I definitely have a HUGE problem with it. When I was in the room all I wanted the tech to do was cut the baby out of me. I know I sound like a bad mom but these are things women dont discuss "out loud"... society wants us to be supermoms and hold it together but nah we have a vision of our life and children as well. I can't call another woman selfish for not wanting kids and I dont think another woman should scold me for just wanting one and be done. I already had a girl and that's what I wanted again since the lord gave me this child. The dad is super excited. (Eventhough I think he put a hole in the condom smh.) We are not together just close friends. He was already talking about he wanted another child so I shouldnt have had sex with him anyway.. (stupid of me). Girl I'm just really going through the motions. His dad is constantly on the road working and I am always at work as well.. (police officer). I love what i do.. I just hate that I I gotten pregnant to begin with. I'm going to seek therapy or counseling. I just hate this from the very start. I bawled my eyes out back in july when I took the test. I just couldn't believe it and from then on I just felt like I was not myself and I dont acknowledge the pregnancy at all. I'm due in march and I still havent told anyone. I am very active, I work out daily, I am active in my community, I'm always on the go, My daughter have her extracurricular activities that she do but another child just didnt fit in. I love my life the way it was before.. any advice is appreciated. I havent talked to anyone about this. I thought about just giving him to his dad once he is born. I'm getting my tubes tied right after birth.
I cry/suffer in silence, the less I think about the pregnancy the better off I am. My reality is shattered. My vision or the picture I created in my mind is gone. All the signs were there about me having a girl. I at least wanted something out of this so I can feel okay about the pregnancy. I just feel "blah".. I asked the lord to please take this baby away when I first found out back in july. I had high hopes for a miscarriage. But by 12 weeks I was like well it's not going to happen. I didnt want to abort the baby on my own. I just wanted God to take it back.
I'm sorry for the rant lol. But I just needed to give you the entire run down of why I feel this way to begin with. I will be fine in due time. I have a journal I write my thoughts in to God. I have grown closer to him than I was before. On the ultrasound the baby was moving and started covering his face. I said "awe look at him", but it was back to reality that he wasnt a girl..
Yep I'm going to need some therapy on this issue for sure. When I go to stores and see baby girl clothes I just get mad. I had a name picked out for her and clothing fo the delivery. I'm mourning a dream/vision. I dont even bring up the child just the vision of me having another baby girl.
Sending "baby girl dust" your way.. thanks for reading I know it's long lol.
@@sunniedays5074 How are things?
@@nishahaymond6711 Heyy!! Things are going great thanks to the good LORD!. I gave birth April 11th he was 9 pounds. I had him vaginally lol. I looked at him and said "this was the blessing I didnt know I needed". He is so chill and laid back lol. He smiles at my corny jokes hahaha. Me and my daughter cant stop picking him up and playing with him. I returned to work and hate that I have to because all I want to do is be at home with my kids lol. He is so chunky!. Oh yeah im scheduled for my tubal ligation so no more babies for me. Lol. Thanks for reaching out☺
A lot of this has happened to a lot of people. Your being ver negative about having a boy.. is just stupid. The circumstances that either Like, you shouldn’t have to be mad at the first one. Or the second. Even though I’ve heard there’s a family that has 4 boys 0 girls, but other has happened to famous people! Matthew Staford rams quarterback, has 5 daughters. Brothers make your life better! Ask my sister!
Three weeks ago, I found out we are expecting our second son. I cried the whole weekend, because I wanted it to be a girl this time for all the reasons you mentioned. Thanks for making this video. 💙
@@gisellaaupair Big hug to you from Belgium! It ‘ll get better, I promise! 💙
@@gisellaaupair It is illegal in Belgium, but I heard of people doing IVF based in just gender in Cyprus and Malta. It costs a lot of money though, but I would also consider probably.
I already have a daughter (thank god) but I wanted her to have a little sister. Turns out it’s going to be a little brother, and I’m so heartbroken I don’t see myself ever bonding with him. I’m so sorry to feel this way, but holy shit I’m heartbroken. Currently crying to the point I allmost throw up.
I knew it would be a 50/50 chance of having a girl or a boy, and although I knew I would need time to get used to the idea of having a boy, I did not know ai would be this heartbroken. I’m so sorry for my poor child that does not deserve this feeling, but sadly I can’t help it right now. I hope to god it gets better.
Awww are u a single mom?
It can be so hard to accept that the reality we wanted might not happen. In my experience, those thoughts fade with time, and when you meet your son, he's going to totally take your heart. I don't know what's like to have a daughter, but I do know there's something special about a mother's relationship with her son and I hear that from almost every woman I know who has a son. You'll get through this moment
I just found out I’m having a boy and cried. My husband was so happy. I knew he wanted a boy deep down! Lol he said he wanted a girl the whole time. I’m secretly hoping the ultrasound was wrong since I’m only 15 weeks. It’s my first baby. I want a girl just so I have 1. I only want 2 kids so I feel more pressure.
I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant and I still can't come to grips with having a boy and no matter how much boy clothes I look at no matter how much my baby moves I feel the same way 💔
I understand, I really do. If you were 35 weeks when you wrote this, your baby boy must be here by now. Curious to hear how your'e feeling now that he's here.
@@missydonald6381 So that's what we don't do on this channel. Tear others down or call them terrible mothers for expressing their feelings. Come correct or please keep it moving :-)
@@missydonald6381 Lol Bye Missy!
Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve been experiencing real depression finding out that I’m having a third son. I will love him. I love my boys so much. But I’m grieving the daughter that I dreamed of. I’m really sad.
I completely understand, I know just how you feel. It's not that you don't love this baby, it's just not what you were expecting. I just had my third baby boy and I am absolutely obsessed with him! Haha. Loving seeing my boys love on each other and their new brother. They bring me so much joy, the same will happen for you once that sweet baby arrives.
I have 2 boys there was very brief gender disappointment for number 2. I love them both dearly no mom can put this into words how they feel about their children. Number 3 I was hoping would be a girl. I am the 6 child my mother had 3 boys 3 girl it seems like we each produce a specific gender and so I think I fall within the boy pool. I am heartbroken. I know it’ll pass but not sure a 4th child is on the future for us so this was it for our family. Im a boy mom and I know I’ll own it and I hope anyone else out there watches this video because it helped me so much tonight.
i dont have kids yet, but actually my dream is to have a little boy, i think its the most cutest thing in the world.
so not all the women want just girls.
your openess and your thought is reall and i love it, yet i am sure you'll be blest with your two sons :)
and to all of the people who telling you not allowd to feel the way you feel, or you cannot talk about it, actually nobody can tell you how you feel and your feeling is common and legit!.
closing your feeling in yourself and not talk about it is actually worst for our souls i think. so i think its good that you our open about it and ready to talk about everything freely
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Yes!!! You're so right. Baby boy is 4 months now and he's the sweetest little thing ever!!! Love him so so much. Thank you so much for your comment
@@ChastityPalmer you are welcome ,and i'm happy to hear :))
Omg, I needed this. pregnant with my third boy. After finding out it was a boy, I told myself, wow, I'm never going have a daughter and got sad. I'm 40, I told myself this will be my last pregnancy and It happened unexpected. But I love my boys, they are so awesome.
I totally feel you! Just had my third baby boy 2 weeks ago but when I tell you my heart is so full! I am so thankful for my boys, their relationship with each other. I wouldn’t change a thing 🖤🖤
I always wanted a girl to share the experience of being female with them.
I have 3 girls and this will be my last pregnancy… yall I wanted a boy every single time 🥺😭 I am so nervous it’s another girl .
What did you end up having?
@@krueltality A girl!! 🤣😂 I get inducted on Monday 🥰 I’ve accepted it and we agreed to try again in a few years 😄
@@KeepHerSafePodcast well dayuummm. You only make Queens I guess lol.
Careful before you have 5 girls though 😂😂
@@krueltality 🤣🤣 Right!!
Thank you so much. I always envisioned myself with two girls. I already have a daughter and now I'm 22 weeks pregnant with a boy. I know I should be greatful that the baby is healthy and I already have a daughter. But still I'm struggling till I found out last week that our second will be a boy.
I've totally been there. How far along are you on your pregnancy?
@@ChastityPalmer 22 weeks. We only found out last week at our anatomy scan. He wasn't showing himself before 😋. So I already feel him kicking. And I know in the end it will be ok and I will love him just as much. But right now in the moments when my 2 year old daughter is just so adorable and cute I find it hard to envision a boy with us. So thank you for your tips. I will definitely use them. And thank you for speaking up. I feel like this is still a taboo to talk about.
All children are blessings irrespective of their gender 🥰 specially when so many are struggling infertility.😭 May God bless all with the fruit of the womb.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
2 years late to the party but I’m going through this now. I’m 32 and pregnant with my first. I wanted a little girl so badly. I wanted to Elbe a better girl mom than my own mother was to me. I always grew up knowing that she didn’t plan me and wanted boy children instead. She did her best but left many gaps like not teaching me about my period, how to maneuver in male to female relationships, sex talk, how to cook and clean etc. I had so many dreams of a little girl. My husband and I even had the same dream one night of two baby girls. I wanted to teach her everything I had to learn on my own. Then after waiting 20 weeks I found out it’s a boy at a gender reveal and I was crushed, literally heart broken. I kind of knew all along because my symptoms are mild and I knew the baby was more for my husband to mature and be a better man. He wanted a boy for the same reasons I wanted a girl. I feel like I’m mourning again after losing a baby last year. Everyone seems so happy for me but I’m just numb. I don’t want to plan a nursery or shop anymore. I just want to give birth and meet him and hold him and hopefully the joy returns in my heart.
I am so sorry to hear about the fact that you felt the disappointment your mom carried. I can only imagine how hard that must have been. Here's one thing I am confident in: God knows what we need! And now you have a wonderful opportunity to do better with your son. I love my boys so so much and wouldn't change a thing. I believe you'll experience the same. It may take you some time, but I pray you receive crazy joy. The love a son has for his mommy is unlike anything else in the world. Message me any time
I'm currently planning on starting to try for a baby. My first and for now only child died due to trisomy 18. And I want to have another boy.
But I am sure I will love a girl too.
Just found out ur vedio thnk you❤️... Yes I am dealing with this situation right now... 1 already have 2 Boy...and now I pregnant with 3rd child which is a boy.. I am very shock and disappointed... I cried very hard when I found out this a boy... I don't know why I feel this ways..i really really want a baby girl.. Because I know I can't effort with another child... 😭😭
I always wanted a baby girl...but had boy...most irritable thing is I wanted a girl when I was 3 month pregnant...I m still in it...how to cure it
You still feel disappointed now you’re son is born?
Omg I started to sob when you said acknowledge your feelings. This is my 1st pregnancy and last because I struggled with Hyperemesis Gravidarum and I already decided not to have more kids it's was awful. I just found out it was a boy and I really wanted a girl so just knowing I'll never have the girl I always wanted, never having that mother daughter bonding is really breaking my heart and I feel awful for being disappointed that I'm having a boy. I just really hate Hyperemesis because it's what making me not want more kids. 💔
Oh no! I'm so sorry you're dealing with hyperemesis, I know it's awful. I wasn't diagnosed but was bad enough to have to be on meds because of the nausea. It's totally ok to acknowledge your feelings. I've been there and it's normal to in essence mourn what you won't have. When you hold that baby boy, your world is going to change for the better. Just wait and see :-)
@@ChastityPalmer awww thank you for your kind words really means a lot! 💖
@@TNMNLA Girl, and guess who's pregnant with her 3rd boy...ME! Haha, God has a funny way of doing things. Email me any time if you need support!
@@ChastityPalmer oh WOW! CONGRATS!
I just found out I am having a girl. I want a boy so damn bad. Im glad there was even a video to see and not just the same shit my family has been saying
Girl I feel you, totally!! Getting over the reality you wanted takes time and it can suck but I'm confident you will. Praying for a safe delivery and happy, healthy baby for you!!
I have 2 boys 1 girl and sneakpeak says boy 😭
I have two boys aswell, I didnt find out the gender of my first son, i knew it was a boy, i hahe grew up being the only girl in the family. So I have always wanted a girl. I had my second son 2 years ago. I sufferd gender disappoint. I really thought it was a girl becuse if how different the pregnancy's were. I was the same I really didn't think we would Have any more children. I am pregnant with my 3rd baby, not planned at all I feel like i had accepted i have two boys and I'm not going going to have girl. Untill I feel pregnant. I just had my 12 week ultrasound yesterday, I feel really anxious about the gender. I'm trying not to picture a little girl when I think of my baby but i do. I'm trying to say he is boy, prepare myself for another boy. By watching videos. I dont know what the gender is. But I think it will be another boy x
Praying for you! I hope you have a safe and easy pregnancy. I know how you feel!
I'm so sorry that God wouldn't let you have no little girl, but we all have to take what we get,I found out a week ago during the blood draw and I'm 12 weeks pregnant now and I did it at 9weeks the blood draw and it said boy 99.1accurate and I totally freaked out and I always wanted a girl and I come from a family with girls cousins have daughterd my mom wanted 2boys but she ended up with 2girls and my dad wanted a boy so badly he ended up with 3 girls so when I hit 20 weekson the 3D ultrasound and I hope it's not true but my husband has convinced me that it's a boy.Will see about that. I felt it might be a girl but I don't know and I'm not really sure about the what's the gender right now.God blessed you ok.I hope one day you get your little princess and I can see you as a girl mom too.
Thank you! I ended up having another boy after this one 🤣🤣 and I wouldn’t change a thing. They are so special and I love them deeply. Congratulations to you!!! Praying for a safe pregnancy and delivery with no complications 🖤
I am experiencing this sooo bad rn.
Had anyone ever told you that you look like Kelly Rowland 😊 Hello by the way I have 4 girls and I'm TTC baby number 5 I hope for a boy but a girl would be just as lovely but I truly hope for a boy 🍼👣🙏🤞
I used to get Kelly and Brandy a lot haha, so funny that you said that! Sending you lots of prayers and baby dust!
@@ChastityPalmer Thanks 😊
Three gorgeous girls and I won’t have the opportunity to have a son that I prayed for.
Same here three and that’s it
Beautiful boys 💙 I want one x
They’re pretty darn amazing, I have a third one coming 🥰
@@ChastityPalmer @Chastity Palmer dayum. Just Y chromosomes over there huh?
I'm expecting my first child (girl), and we both really wanted a boy. But seeing so many people want girls is comforting. I guess in the end we're raising humans, that's all that matters
@@krueltality right!!! Clearly I’m meant to be a boy mom 🤣🤣🤣. Congrats on your baby girl!! I promise all the things we thought we want go out the window when we see that baby. Wishing you guys well!
Why does almost everyone want a girl?
For some, it's wanting to participate in what they perceive to be girls' activities and the gendere dperception of what life will be like with a girl. However, gender disappointment is common even amongst women without rigid ideas of gender, even those who plan to resist traditional gender roles. I read somewhere that it's common for women to hope for a girl because on a subconscious level they feel more connected to the idea of a girl, that they will relate to the baby because /they/ were a girl. That said, there could be more reasons as well and I'd be curious to hear them.
Because people want to have all the cute bows and pink frilly clothes it’s so shallow
@@greenbanana1001 wtf u talking bout pink frilly things....Pink and blue are colours that can be worn and used for both boys and girls....ur narrow mindedness and sexist comments r disgusting...keep it to urself....u as a woman saying shit like this makes me wonder what ur daughter will think of u when she grows up.
@@elizabethluke8697 I know but I’m talking about how a lot of women view it
@@elizabethluke8697 I can tell you’re one of those gender fluid snowflakes
I wanna have a girl
My worst fear is having sons. I only want girls!
You shouldn’t be a parent then .. you’re clearly not mature enough .. I have 3 sons and 1 daughter and I’m sorry but when having a child you know it’s a 50 50 chance
Lol I have a friend like you but she wants only boys and always talks about how her “worst fear” is having a girl which I’m like yikes cuz u can’t really control what u get!
You can't choose your child's gender y'know. As the 1st reply said, it's all based on chance, and, well... You really shouldn't be a parent at all! :P
Yikes…
I have 3 sons and 1 daughter and personally I prefer sons
You like your sons more than your own daughter
I am about to find out if I’m having my son or daughter this Friday and I just don’t connect with the idea of gender disappointment. At least not to a great extent because I do feel and imagine a precious baby boy and so when I think about being told that I might be having a girl I feel a bit like “awww I might have to wait for my little boy” but it doesn’t kill me. The first things on my mind during this pregnancy so far are health concerns about my baby and their comfort. I also keep in mind that gender disappointment most likely stems from gender expectations. I mean, it’s 2020 and I think the lgbtq+ community has proven there is a great chance our children won’t identify with who see them as. So the entire idea around gender disappointment is a bit silly but not it’s place for a discussion.
Congratulations! I wish you a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery. Not everyone experiences or understands gender disappointment and that's totally fine. It can feel silly to you, and that's also fine. For women who do experience it, however, no matter what it stems from, it's something they have to work through. I'm glad I've created a space for it to be discussed 😊
I just found out I’m having a boy. I wanted a girl more then anything. I actually have no desire to continue this pregnancy
I'm so sorry you're experiencing disappointment. Here's what I'll say, I just had my third baby boy (last child, I don't think my body can physically handle another one). I'll never have a daughter but this boy is the light of my life along with his big brothers. He's the blessing I never knew I needed. I can't imagine life without him. I pray the same is true for you the moment you lay eyes on your sweet baby
I just hope these young men never see these videos in the future. To discover that, for whatever reason, the news of their biological sex was met with sheer disappointment, would severely tarnish whatever relationship they may have with their folks, and could cause mental health problems. Remember that boy who committed suicide in Mother’s Day because his mother confessed to him that her life was wonderful before he arrived, so he offed himself so she could have her life back? They think that men don’t notice or feel, but we do, we”re just not allowed.
Some parents (Moms and Dads) admit they do not immediately connect with their baby when they are born. It’s important for parents to share these things because their own children may feel the same when they have children of their own. Why? Because we are all human. Initial feelings are just that. How we love is what matters most. My Mom told me I was not planned and while that hurt it was honest and her truth. She loved me to the core so that matters more than if I was planned. We need to allow space for transparency and honesty. If her son sees this they will respect their Mom for loving them in a way they never would have guessed this, and see her as a human. Think of how we tend to see our parents as superhumans with no hopes, feelings or dreams of their own. This humanizes her and the pregnancy experience.
Hey! Thanks for your comment, I totally hear where you're coming from. Let me be crystal clear, however, I am not disappointed in my boys. They are amazing and I wouldn't trade them for any little girl anywhere, EVER. My disappointment stemmed from a reality I thought I'd have not coming true, *not* from who my boys are. It's unfortunate to know that little boy dealt with that. My children know they're loved, and my second is actually my mammas boy :-). Not to mention, our third baby boy is on the way and I can't wait to meet him.
Just found out it’s a boy. I am extremely UPSET! I am going on 37 and won’t have anymore kids. I never wanted a boy because my brother suffers from bipolar disorder and I saw how it was for my mom raising him and I just don’t think boys make for good companions as they get older. It becomes weird momma’s boy type of connections if they are too close to their mothers and I wouldn’t want that. Also, my dreams of doing girly things are GONE. I have considered abortion