Talking to kids about being non binary

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  • čas přidán 14. 12. 2017
  • Children are curious and gender is complicated; seems like a disaster waiting to happen. What do you say to a kid who is asking about your non binary gender?
    In this video I talk about the importance of letting kids ask, and even answer, their own questions. Concrete knowledge and definitions aren't as important in these conversations as creating a safe and calm space where questions are allowed.
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Komentáře • 164

  • @ResidentEvilBiohazard
    @ResidentEvilBiohazard Před 6 lety +309

    "If blue means boy and pink means girl...I am purple"

    • @Heivenknight
      @Heivenknight Před 6 lety +9

      Omg great analogy!!!!

    • @Heivenknight
      @Heivenknight Před 6 lety +13

      I prefer green though 😊

    • @kendallkreidell7299
      @kendallkreidell7299 Před 6 lety +12

      I use a similar analogy when referring to bisexuality. I get asked “so your gay and straight” and I ask them if they think purple is just “blue and pink” they normally say no and I may explain that even if it’s a mix of two other things, it becomes its own separate color and that if you mix blue and pink with different amounts of each you get a lot of different shades of purple that all have new names as well even if they are all classified as purple.

    • @redwolfamy9714
      @redwolfamy9714 Před 6 lety +1

      No you’re not. You’re one or the other. Or trans of one. Not both or none. That doesn’t make any goddamn sense. You could be a feminine boy or a masculine woman but that’s it. Sorry about it.

    • @peral9728
      @peral9728 Před 6 lety

      So you're a girl who thinks their personality determines their gender. That's unfortunate.

  • @ryn2844
    @ryn2844 Před 6 lety +176

    I'd like to share a story with you too. When I was about 5 or 6 (don't remember, I'm 23 now) I saw somebody in a store who looked sort of in between masculine and feminine. Being the shy but curious kid that I was, I tugged on my mom's sleeve and whispered "Mom, is that a boy or a girl?" and my mom's response was "Sometimes people are just a bit androgynous." (she never shied away from using big words, even when I was that little) and she explained what it meant and moved on. That's one of my earliest memories. I kept thinking back to it. At the time, I couldn't read or write, but as soon as I could, I looked up how to spell it. Now, as an NB, I am eternally grateful for the existence of that random person in that random store, and my mom's response to my question. It helped me think of this as an okay thing to be. Now I know that if ever I'm ready to come out, it'll be okay.
    Moral of the story, you may be helping more people than you realize, not even by having these conversations, but just by existing in the world. And yes, a conversation like that really can plant a seed in a kid's head.

  • @starkidfan2766
    @starkidfan2766 Před 6 lety +236

    I had a similar conversation with my 5 year old cousin. For years he would call me a boy then for a about a year he called me a girl. Then he asked me what I was and I said I am in the middle between boy and girl. Then he said you aren't a boy or a girl, then I said nope. He said cool and then he walked away.

  • @cosmic.c
    @cosmic.c Před 6 lety +141

    My older friend at camp was talking with me and my friends when a kid walked up to them(not quite sure what their pronouns are) and asked, “Are you a boy or a girl?” It was a young kid, and he was really innocent, but they said, “I’m both.” and he said, “Woah! People can do that??”

    • @peral9728
      @peral9728 Před 6 lety +4

      Wow, poor kid was probably confused for a long time. Your friend should have clarified his actual gender so the kid wouldn't think you can switch gender, be both or be in between.

    • @cogsandglimmers
      @cogsandglimmers Před 6 lety +23

      Pearl Vesper Weeeell, you can. Genderfluid, genderflux, and bigender. So I think for an on the spot answer... Simple enough!

    • @hads5279
      @hads5279 Před 6 lety +23

      It seems to me that if the child was truly confused they would've asked more questions. It seems to me that the child was satisfied with the answer they were given. Hence the end of the conversation. Maybe the child later asked a different adult about gender because of that conversation. And I mean, you CAN switch, be both, be in between, or be like me and be none.

    • @meg7221
      @meg7221 Před 6 lety

      which camp?

    • @jacksonns333
      @jacksonns333 Před 5 lety +3

      Aww you just blew that kids mind haha

  • @ohshctrash1410
    @ohshctrash1410 Před 6 lety +52

    My six year old cousin said to me yesterday “are you a boy? You like like a boy.” I responded no, and when she asked if I was a girl I said no. She asked if I was a girl and a boy and I said sort of.
    Because I’m not out to my family yet I said she could call me a girl and the thing I really love most about that is that I present myself as nb so she said “are you sure? You kinda look like a boy.”

  • @LJdot15
    @LJdot15 Před 6 lety +61

    I'm non-binary and just started working in a school and this was SO HELPFUL! Thank you!

  • @sleepyzebra11
    @sleepyzebra11 Před 6 lety +79

    Nice. I also started saying "thank you for asking", kind of by accident but I do mean it. I'm glad to talk about it and that they wanted to hear it directly from me instead of just gossiping with each other about it haha

    • @AWylde
      @AWylde  Před 6 lety +11

      This is an AWESOME thing to add in!

  • @noaho.o4770
    @noaho.o4770 Před 6 lety +60

    At my gf's dancing school a little girl (maybe 4 years old) asked me: "Are you a boy?" And before I could answer her mother said: "No, it's a girl" The girl asked me: "You are a boy, aren't you?" Her mother said: "No, I just told you, it's a girl." Then she said to me: "Sorry, she thinks everyone with short hair is a boy" And I was just too nervous to tell her that I'm nor a girl or a boy... >.

    • @leegornik8656
      @leegornik8656 Před 3 lety +7

      Ugh, I'd be so annoyed if I saw that mom

    • @M0ldybread
      @M0ldybread Před 3 lety +2

      Well that must be annoying but you can’t blame her or the little kid cause they didn’t know

    • @dandylion2775
      @dandylion2775 Před 3 lety

      @@M0ldybread well you can blame her for it (the mom) because she didn't even let OP speak

  • @caileandangreau543
    @caileandangreau543 Před 6 lety +26

    Hey! I'm nonbinary too. I have a student job as cashier and once, a kid ask me the same: are you a boy or a girl? I coudn't take time to explain to them and I couldn't see myself just saying "I'm neither, I'm nonbinary" (I'm not even out at work), so I just answered "What do you think?" and they answered "A girl". I felt frustrated about that, without knowing how could I do anyway. That was really impulsive and quick, to do the less "bad". A few months later I still felt bad about it, but your video make me feel better. I didn't take time to ask them why they think I'm a girl but... you know. Perhaps it's not that bad if I let them think they can think about gender. Thanks for that, thanks for your video!

    • @onyxissad6873
      @onyxissad6873 Před 4 lety +1

      @@mrwhopee They are not saying that their experience was worse than the limbless African refugee orphans with malaria.

  • @hads5279
    @hads5279 Před 6 lety +5

    My friend's daughter, Amara, is 5 and she's never been told that "gay" relationships are wrong, but she's never seen one. So my girlfriend was over and she saw us holding hands and asked her parent if we were friends, and her parent said, "they're girlfriends." Amara said, "two girls can date? That's weird." Her parent said, "no, it's not weird. Girls date each other a lot and boys also date each other a lot." Then Amara was like, "oh, okay!" And that was that. I'm agender and my girlfriend is cis, but Amara's parents haven't figured out how they want to go about explaining non-binary/trans genders to her yet, but they do want to be open.

  • @Sophie.L.H
    @Sophie.L.H Před 6 lety +91

    Cisgender straight adults do not give children enough credit. They understand a lot more than people think if it's put into simple enough terms but some parents don't even understand identities themselves because they don't care enough to learn which they don't even realise could be damaging to their child if their child is actually gay or trans or non-binary etc. This is why LGBTQ+ education should be taught in schools in my opinion! Only found your channel yesterday and I love it, I love the way you talk about these issues because you're so well spoken and you explain things so clearly. I am a small bisexual CZcamsr and I've recently discovered that I'm non-binary so that's been a cool journey! I love your channel and I'm here to stay! If you got a chance to check out my little channel then that'd be fab but no worries if not. Can't wait to make my way through all your videos! P.S you're damn cute wow

  • @greentea.mp3
    @greentea.mp3 Před 6 lety +17

    In my Pre-K class I had a kid who was really androgynous. But at that age you already start to understand your gender and I'm wondering if they were some other gender. I'm genderfluid. He could be just, like I said, androgynous. I asked him if he was a boy or a girl, and for some reason I still remember this really well, I think there was a pause but I can't be sure. This was YEEEEEARS ago. He said boy.

  • @LuxanderReal
    @LuxanderReal Před 6 lety +26

    In the example of the older child you gave, I think it's woefully inefficient to essentially throw your hands up and leave them with more questions than answers. If they thought you were a boy initially and then decided you're a girl, if they ask their parent later that parent will probably just say you're a girl, or a confused girl if they're especially rude. I don't think this provides kids with a framework by which to meaningfully question the gender binary, and furthermore I *do* think we're responsible for educating younglings about gender, even if they aren't in our immediate familial circles.

    • @hads5279
      @hads5279 Před 6 lety +6

      Like she said, it is not her job or place to fully teach someone else's child about gender and she does not want to impose her personal views onto a child. She answers their questions in a way that helps them to question the binary that will he thrown at them on a daily basis.

    • @ferncat1397
      @ferncat1397 Před 4 lety +1

      I'd kinda agree. When I was little I just wanted answers. If I was in the older kid's situation, I probably wouldn't have had the vocabulary to think about it any further so I would have ended up deciding on boy or girl, because I didn't know you don't have to be one or the other. Of course every kid is gonna be different and even now I'd say there's more awareness of LGBTQ+ identities. While getting kids to question their perceptions of gender is a great idea, I think it would help to give them a definite answer.

  • @kelliedc3362
    @kelliedc3362 Před 6 lety +17

    I struggle with talking to kids, it’s just not something comfortable for me, but this is a really cool way of thinking about how to form responses. They aren’t learning from what words you throw at them, but rather what you make them think about. Very interesting, thank you for sharing ^_^

  • @littlesailor1533
    @littlesailor1533 Před 6 lety +14

    I'm an intern at a school. The kids in the classroom are 7 to 9 year olds. I assumed they didn't want me to teach the kids about gender, but when I got outed by my own mentor (which is fucked up) they wanted me to give a lesson about gender. So that's what I'll be doing.

  • @syddlinden8966
    @syddlinden8966 Před 6 lety +12

    So, I'm wondering how this would work being bigender... If a kid and me "are you a boy?", my answer is "yeah." If they ask me "are you a girl?", my answer is also "yeah." This, obviously doesn't facilitate the second question much... o .o I really like the "what do you think?" and "what makes you think that?" responses though. I have several friends with young kids at this point, and I wonder how to deal with this when the subject eventually comes up. Thanks a ton. :)

    • @cogsandglimmers
      @cogsandglimmers Před 6 lety +1

      Well... If you feel comfortable, it's probably going to be simpler just to explain, "Well, I am, but I'm also a girl. I'm both at the same time". Though that's just a suggestion!

    • @hads5279
      @hads5279 Před 6 lety +1

      "Are you a boy or a girl?" "I'm both."

  • @Dream-hw8uq
    @Dream-hw8uq Před 6 lety +17

    What a great approach! I'm also NB and working with kids. Well, I'm not out at work, yet. So I have faced some confusing situations there. I have thought that I could and I should come out, but it feels kinda hard (even coming out to my relatives has been a bit hard).

    • @AWylde
      @AWylde  Před 6 lety +6

      I totally understand. For me, I don't really "come out" at work or anywhere like that. If someone asks me how I identify I'm happy to discuss it, but I figure that my experience with gender is pretty inconsequential to my capability as an employee.

  • @cookiedough5338
    @cookiedough5338 Před 6 lety +24

    I have been having a hard time to grasp the ‘non-binary’ gender, and based on every nb youtuber and the way they are critiqued by other youtubers, they make its legitimacy seem like a joke. But I really do like your videos as they are not aggressive and show your point of view without any harassing under-tones. And I loved how you’re making the child question a bit of their own understanding (which they can discuss with their relatives later on), rather than forcing your own personal matters onto them. They’re too young to think about it anyway, and the way you put it to them makes it less stressul for them to grasp, which is amazing 👏🏻

  • @andysartz
    @andysartz Před 6 lety +3

    I have been worrying about this for so long! I have recently started to dress and behave more accordingly to my internal sense of gender identity, which is non-binary. Because it's been a slow change and a recent one, I still haven't been in that situation but I have been wondering what I would do if I had a little kid asking me about my gender. I honestly had no idea what to do. But I think your answer is very good. You give them something to think about and you definitely won't be accused of trying to force your opinion on them (in my country, parents have been extremely protective around their children, not wanting them to hear anything about LGBT+ matters, due to stuff that has been around in our mainstream media). Thank you for sharing, Ashley! Your videos are always very helpful!

  • @lucassanchez5082
    @lucassanchez5082 Před 6 lety +7

    Thank you for posting this video. I’m a preschool teacher and I still struggle with the “are you a boy or a girl?” question as a non-binary person. I have been out since last summer so the other teachers and the parents use they/them pronouns with me, for the most part. But the children use she/her pronouns for me. Sometimes I correct them but most of the time I don’t. I feel responsible for educating them but I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. Do I read books about gender with them or do I just have a talk and say “hey, I’ve noticed you call me a she but I’m a they... etc” I’m just not sure how to proceed. I haven’t to this point found information how to go about it for the age range I work with.

    • @sleepyzebra11
      @sleepyzebra11 Před 6 lety +1

      Lucas Sanchez kids are super perceptive, I think just keep being you and give them a chance to ask their own questions. Everything is a process and you are certainly a part of theirs!

    • @tyrain9846
      @tyrain9846 Před 6 lety +2

      Well u seem to be at an open-minded school. First I think u should do what u are comfortable with. But this also could be a great opportunity to teach respect and love and diversity. Usually kids are very open minded when u explain things to them. And u still can talk bout that with the other teachers. But stick with what feels right for urself would be my advice.

    • @ibreathefiction
      @ibreathefiction Před 3 lety

      I know your comment here is old, but maybe other people k. The future will find it helpful even if you don't anymore now.
      But I was thinking, maybe you could say to them, "did you know there more than just he or she? Sometimes, some people aren't comfy with he or she, and those people go by they"

    • @momaladybug3447
      @momaladybug3447 Před 4 měsíci

      Why not have them call you by name. That would take care of all issues

  • @catboy_tylerr
    @catboy_tylerr Před 6 lety +1

    A week ago, someone asked me (for the first time) if I was a boy or a girl. Keep in mind, this kid was about 8-9 I think, and is obviously raised as a girl. My friend and I were on a zero gravity ride at the local street fair, and as the ride was coming to a stop, this girl looked over at me, obviously confused by my existence, and asked me “Are you a boy or a girl?” I replied with “Neither”. Perplexed by my answer, she asks “No, are you a he or she?”, to which I replied “They!” She asked me this same question a couple more times, and then another kid, this one a boy, came up and asked how I could be neither. I told him that I didn’t really have a gender. To that, he just said “oh” and got off the ride. It sounds so boring and weird, but it kinda makes me happy that people are confused by me being myself. It shows that I’m my own person, in a way, and makes it so that people can’t neatly put me into a gendered box

  • @luchewigg168
    @luchewigg168 Před 6 lety +4

    I love this and I'll definitely think about it when I inevitably get this question!

  • @VisiColors
    @VisiColors Před 6 lety

    I worked at an elementary school for a few years a while ago, and the kids were confused about me too. I worked mostly with 3rd-5th graders, but I interacted with all of the grades. The kindergartners usually asked me this question, and the others would answer "Miss Caitlin's a boy because he has blue hair." It was cute watching them problem solve and try to come up with cases for either side. The older kids who had worked with me for a few years just got it. It was so mind blowing. I had a 5th grade student transfer in, and they were just having none of me. They would give me mean looks, and generally stay quiet around me. Finally one day that transfer student asked me during lunch time "Are you a boy, or a girl?" and before I could say anything, one of my kiddos sitting nearby answered, "Miss Caitlin's like a boy and a girl put together." I was so proud. I'd never spoken to them about my gender, or about gender in general, but after years of working with me they were able to sort of piece it together for themselves. It really gives me hope for the future.

    • @ghostthief8130
      @ghostthief8130 Před 5 lety

      I know this comment is really late, but that’s amazing!

  • @vincentisvintage6522
    @vincentisvintage6522 Před 6 lety +5

    This is actually a very good way of teaching kids about gender! thank you, hopefully i can use the same method with my nephews and niece

  • @icanbenever
    @icanbenever Před 5 lety +1

    I really loved this. Thanks for sharing your perspective!! This definitely helped me think about the way I talk to my students about gender (mine, theirs, and abstractly).

  • @slowrides78
    @slowrides78 Před 3 lety +1

    As an older man who never had to deal with these new (to me) things and I’m raising a younger child who will for sure in contour situations like this I hope the person he happens to interact with handles it the same way you choose to. Thank you for making this video it was very helpful and informative to me.

  • @NyaWatkinsOnYoutube
    @NyaWatkinsOnYoutube Před 6 lety +1

    I work at a summer camp during the summer (duh) and last year I got asked by some of the kids. Because gender is such a political issue currently that I don’t wanna “expose” these kids to something their parents might feel weird about. Like you said, it’s not my job to teach these kids about gender and on top of that I do not wanna piss off any parents. So that was tough. Thanks for this video cause I think I have a better response now.

  • @cxconutstarrs1279
    @cxconutstarrs1279 Před 3 lety +3

    My Sister Outed Me To My Little Brother And He Called Me A They/Them Ogre And TBH I Approve-

  • @alexarcher2923
    @alexarcher2923 Před 6 lety +3

    Really informative video Ashley! I feel this same sort of ambiguous language/explanation could be applied to many adults out there too.
    Thank you for another thought provoking discussion 💛

  • @enbykenz
    @enbykenz Před 6 lety +2

    this blew my mind you're so smart!!! thank you for sharing this wow

  • @andrew4635
    @andrew4635 Před 5 lety

    I really appreciate you covering this topic! I work with kids 5 and younger, and while at the park with one of my kids, another one asks me if I'm a boy or a girl. I kinda panicked for a second and answered boy, because their parent was next to them, and I wasn't about to open the gates to an extended conversation about gender when I'm trying to help my two year old build a sandcastle.
    But I think about it a lot. Thanks again for contributing to the conversation!

  • @arandolph846
    @arandolph846 Před 6 lety +5

    I appreciated this. I do want to discuss the concept of responding in the positive versus the negative. I liked your idea of letting the kids figure it out and think about it through questioning, but your response of “no not really” is in the negative; you are telling the kid they are wrong. While they are wrong I wonder if this makes it more difficult because you’re not recognizing the thoughts they do well at. I wonder if instead there is a way of twisting it so it is possible to be more affirmative. My first idea is to respond with “does that mean I cannot also be a girl/boy”; the problem with this type of response though gets into the nuances of NB identities: bigender, agender, gender neutral, and others. Can you think of other ways to respond that other than just saying no?

    • @AWylde
      @AWylde  Před 6 lety +1

      This is an interesting take on the concept, I like what you're getting at. I'm not sure I know the answer but I definitely like the direction you're thinking in.

    • @sleepyzebra11
      @sleepyzebra11 Před 6 lety +1

      Sometimes I just say "sort of "

    • @tyrain9846
      @tyrain9846 Před 6 lety +1

      sleepyzebra11 that was what I was thinking. Saying: Kind of. But also kind of a boy. But I think it wouldn't work for everybody. But u also could answer: I see why u think this. But I feel.... In this way u paying attention to their thoughts on it...I hope that is understanable.

  • @gandalfthegrey3252
    @gandalfthegrey3252 Před 6 lety

    This is a really good answer to this problem. I haven’t been asked this by kids yet (since I don’t have a lot of contact with kids and they usually assume that I’m a girl) but if I ever encounter this I’ll use this strategy.

  • @shivangisikri8880
    @shivangisikri8880 Před 6 lety +2

    I think this was a really well-thought out and well-formulated response to the question. Of course it's not perfect, but I don't think there is a perfect response to this question. But I think you did the best you could and gave what I found to be a really informed answer so thank you.

  • @nicklaswidlundbjurman721

    Your approach is so cool, I wish I had been doing the same from the very start. Very cool!
    Ohh well, that is what teaching entails, reflecting and learning to constantly better your teaching practices.

  • @TheAndromeda1111
    @TheAndromeda1111 Před 6 lety

    This is reall really good and gives me a lot to work with in my role as a scout leader, so thank you :D

  • @trombone5677
    @trombone5677 Před 6 lety +3

    I love your perspective

  • @Nate-by5fq
    @Nate-by5fq Před 6 lety +1

    Your channel is helping me so much

  • @siiiriously3226
    @siiiriously3226 Před 5 lety

    oh i love your opinions and the way you phrase them. this just brought a huge releive to aburning question in my life. thank you so much!

  • @MadHalflingInventor
    @MadHalflingInventor Před 4 měsíci

    this is just a brilliant way of putting it, I have been asked by small children a lot and I usually just say girl or boy depending on which one they look like they already are thinking, just because I don't want to be the one who tries to explain what "agender" is to them, I'm going to switch to this method next time it happens

  • @ruthlouise95
    @ruthlouise95 Před 6 lety

    This was a really informative video!! I'm currently unable to express my gender in the way that I want to because I'm not out to my family, but when I've cut my hair, I'll keep this in mind!

    • @ghostthief8130
      @ghostthief8130 Před 5 lety

      Hey, I was just wondering how everything is going?

  • @purpledaydreamer9682
    @purpledaydreamer9682 Před 3 lety

    I come back to this video so often - it helps me a lot - thank you

  • @sunrizemusic98
    @sunrizemusic98 Před 5 lety

    Such a well made video. Thank you so much💙

  • @dogbonez6987
    @dogbonez6987 Před 2 lety

    the subject of teaching young kids in school about trans gender identity is a sore spot with me but you have found a way to handle it that is the best I have heard yet.

  • @cidney9766
    @cidney9766 Před 6 lety

    This was very insightful. Thank you!

  • @reticentintent
    @reticentintent Před 6 lety +1

    Oml I’m in the same boat as you, I’ve identified as non binary for a year now but have been at my job as an after school assistant for 5 years and I have been asked that countless times and they all have known me by my assigned gender so I just kinda tell them that leave it alone (I don’t care about pronouns so it doesn’t bother me lol) but I try to push against gender roles with them (long hair isn’t just for girls, you don’t need makeup to be pretty, etc) but I think a lot of it goes over their heads

  • @parkeristired7884
    @parkeristired7884 Před 6 lety

    this video really shows off how kids learn and think soooo well, i think you are approaching this in such a wonderful way and this video is very liberating!

  • @paietynb.2690
    @paietynb.2690 Před 5 lety

    Thanks for your help. I’m non-binary and work as an admin at a daycare. When I wear my more guyish clothes, I get asked a lot and my default is ‘I’m fabulous’ or ‘it doesn’t matter’ but I realized today that that wouldn’t always work. This definitely gives me an idea of what to do next time

  • @meifennellysieu7510
    @meifennellysieu7510 Před 4 lety

    Thank you for this video. I am a member of the LGBTQ myself, but transgender and non-binary identity has been embarrassingly hard for me to wrap my head around, even though I know many people who identify as transgender or non-binary. I would like to be able to understand these identities better in the future, and I think this is a great starting point.
    Thank you again,
    Mei

  • @sleepysartorialist
    @sleepysartorialist Před 6 lety

    This is a doozy. The timing is a bit hilarious. I am actually a parent and my four year old made a comment today that made me realize that being physically distant from me is going to make these conversations a lot more awkward going forward. I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate this conversation with her (very much a girl). It's going to be fun trying not to get frustrated as she's very...stubborn. Haha. She won't just drop it. Too much like me. XD

  • @izzyoliver9077
    @izzyoliver9077 Před 6 lety

    I have had so many children come up to me and ask if I was a boy or girl. I am so thankful for those kids who go out and ask. I help teach TaeKwonDo at a local dojo, and one of the new kids asked me if I was a boy or girl. I asked him the same question and he said he liked being male and that's where the conversation ended.

  • @nonno318
    @nonno318 Před 6 lety +1

    THE QUALITY OF THIS VIDEO!

  • @StalkAlexHere
    @StalkAlexHere Před 4 lety

    There's always something so beautiful about seeing that thought process unfold. ♡

  • @Orange-ff8dy
    @Orange-ff8dy Před 6 lety +2

    this was a cool and helpful video! maybe sometime if you're willing/able, would you consider making a video with tips on how to explain nonbinary to older people (like seniors)? I ask this because I'm about to start volunteering with seniors but i'm afraid I'm going to have to pretend to be a boy while I'm working with them (i'm nonbinary and use they pronouns, but i'm more comfy with he than she)

  • @gender.mp3
    @gender.mp3 Před 4 lety

    I love the way you use to explain it to kids! i'll sure use it on my future interactions when people ask me ahhaha

  • @TheybornInTheSnow
    @TheybornInTheSnow Před 3 lety +1

    i mean .. i identify as non binary and i would tell a kid "yes i was born as a woman but now that i learned more about how other people identify I have chosen to be nonbinary"

  • @lalybee
    @lalybee Před 4 lety

    You are so well spoken.

  • @ponyboyswager
    @ponyboyswager Před 6 lety

    A nice perspective!!

  • @Chierushi
    @Chierushi Před 6 lety

    I wish I'd had this about a year ago, when I worked with elementary schoolers in an after school program.

  • @graypetcoyle
    @graypetcoyle Před 6 lety

    In a few months I'm gonna be student teaching as part of my Teacher Academy class. I'm super nervous, because I'll be working with a bunch of middle school band students. I'm really hoping that I'll get a similar experience as the college student teacher in my own class (who is also non binary), but because I'll be working with middle schoolers instead of high schoolers... I'm not so sure everyone will be so accepting.

  • @sleepy-emerald
    @sleepy-emerald Před 2 lety

    I’m trying to figure out how to have a conversation similar to this with my 8-year-old sister (without her then outing me).

  • @shannonxu9656
    @shannonxu9656 Před 5 lety

    This is such a high awareness answer.

  • @mads9545
    @mads9545 Před 5 lety

    This was so helpful!

  • @CountessCarmilla
    @CountessCarmilla Před 5 lety +1

    We may have to deal with a lot of adults that way.

  • @arimg4495
    @arimg4495 Před 5 lety

    When I was a teenager, a kid at the age of around 10 asked me if I was a girl or boy, but I thought they were trying to make fun of me as a lot of kids who were younger than me had (e.g. deliberately calling me by a male name and laughing about me) and so I said something offending to him. I never found out, if he was serious when he asked the question, but I feel bad about it now. But anyway, I was just a kid, too.

  • @johannesschutz780
    @johannesschutz780 Před 6 lety

    Being very critical about everything that concerns gender identity I really really like your approach.

  • @facedownintheclouds5121

    Your videos are so good! Idk why but you give me a bit of dan howell vibes

  • @xaraxchnidx
    @xaraxchnidx Před 6 lety

    I’m 11 years old and non-binary. I get asked by young children if I’m a boy or a girl all the time at school. I get very stressed out when I explain it to the kid and they are trying to “convince” me that I can only be a boy or a girl, and that they/them pronouns are for multiple people. It sucks. I can really relate to your struggles

  • @nilishani5761
    @nilishani5761 Před 6 lety

    very wise... thank you!

  • @Kerstinableful
    @Kerstinableful Před 6 lety

    I love this Video!!! ❤ greetings from germany. Keep it going ;)

  • @riverchampeimont
    @riverchampeimont Před 3 měsíci

    I'd feel I say "I'm neither a boy nor a girl" but I haven't been in the actual situation.

  • @kobayashimaruaikiken
    @kobayashimaruaikiken Před 2 lety

    Since dysphoria can lead to invasive and irreversible hormone therapy and surgery it's really important speaking about prevention, which nobody does.
    A not confusing communication to children is paramount.

  • @Shutouts
    @Shutouts Před 6 lety

    How can I change my voice without being fake or taking hormones?

  • @saraaahmazing
    @saraaahmazing Před 6 lety

    Is Ashley on T? I hope this isn't rude and it obviously doesn't effect my opinion of them. I'm just a non binary person who is starting T soon and I was wondering.

  • @melthedepressedenby837

    I'm non-binary and this was really helpful because I have problems communicating and it's hard for me to explain that I'm non-binary

  • @eabaggins
    @eabaggins Před 5 lety

    My cousins are coming soon...I wonder how they'll react. They are 14 and 21

  • @devandarji1301
    @devandarji1301 Před 4 lety

    what do you think about saying “does it matter?”

  • @sdavenport3450
    @sdavenport3450 Před 2 lety

    This is a fantastic video! If all of the LGBT phobic people in the world could watch this and understand that there is no "Trans" agenda or the LGBT community is not here to brainwash kids then I think we would make faster progress on our right to equality. This video clearly states that for children it is about answering their questions in the simplest format so that they can make up their own mind. Better yet, answering a question by putting another question to them so that they can make their own mind up is just proof in the pudding that we are not forcing our beliefs onto children or trying to make every child like us. We are simply answering a question to make them form their own beliefs about something they have not come in contact with before.

  • @isaacavalcanti4882
    @isaacavalcanti4882 Před 4 lety

    This was amaziiiiiiiing

  • @ResistingTheLies
    @ResistingTheLies Před 6 lety +5

    As if kids ask you what gender you are, without at the very least, having prior knowledge about "genders" to begin with... and what a coincidence, you just so happen to work with kids.

    • @maddestmewmew
      @maddestmewmew Před 6 lety +2

      Actually, if you are like them, they look like a boy but sound like a girl, or you look androgynous, the topic does come up.

    • @ResistingTheLies
      @ResistingTheLies Před 6 lety +1

      "androgynous", because kids know what that means. I didn't even know what that means until this lunacy revealed itself.

    • @maddestmewmew
      @maddestmewmew Před 6 lety +3

      ResistingTheLies
      First of all, don’t underestimate kids. My 8 year old bro knows what it means. And second of all, I said LOOKS. As in, if you look like neither a boy or a girl, they will ask.

    • @maddestmewmew
      @maddestmewmew Před 6 lety +3

      ResistingTheLies
      For the last time, I said some kids will ask if you are a boy or a girl if you look like neither or both. Or look like one but have a voice that sounds like the opposite. I didn’t say anything about where I live, or school, or this you tuber.

    • @ResistingTheLies
      @ResistingTheLies Před 6 lety +1

      You said to not underestimate kids, as if that is something kids will come to be aware of (provided there is no interference).

  • @FacebookChick222
    @FacebookChick222 Před 6 lety

    At work I work at a daycare 3 and 4 year old they always ask me ms tonianne is a boy cuz I have short hair I just say I have short hair but I'm a girl

  • @meg7221
    @meg7221 Před 6 lety

    i love this story a lot, but i wonder how i could have children view similar lessons when im not looking androgynous?

  • @allenburt1475
    @allenburt1475 Před 6 lety +1

    You look like Matt Smith with eyebrows

  • @loveistheanswer5741
    @loveistheanswer5741 Před rokem

    You say, “be proud of who you are. We are not defined by stereotypes. You are born with the race and gender you’re meant to be. If the world makes you feel uncomfortable with that, recognize that it’s not your job to fix the world. Just to love yourself. There is no such thing as being no gender. There are difficult aspects of being a female, but we are strong and fierce, and no one can take that from you.”

  • @knitting2211
    @knitting2211 Před 4 lety

    Knowing me I would probably explain it to them as it is while using simple to understand questions and facts like well you know how you were born a boy or a girl? well you know how as a baby you were born as a boy or girl but you didn’t get to choose which one you were going to be? well because of that I am neither a boy or a girl or both or in between & You know how your parents married a woman and a man? Well some people also like to marry only woman or only men &/or both men and women or some have multiple partners/relationships while living together and some never get married by choice! And because some people feel one way at birth and they don’t feel comfortable with what they were assigned with at birth some people can change their bodies later in life to look and appear and feel more comfortable with their bodies.🙂 & yes I know that this is like educating kids however from the way I view things I feel if they are going to ultimately find out all this stuff at some point anyways and if they are curious enough to ask about it then then they might as well be educated about this sooner or later with these exact facts by someone then it is better not to be avoiding this entire truth about topics like these while kids are still at an early age because you never know! 🙂 Further more I would explain to them that knowing people like these sorts of people is absolutely nothing for anyone to fear or be afraid of because they are just normal people with feelings just like me and you!

  • @orwellianyouth8228
    @orwellianyouth8228 Před 5 lety

    I would educate them on being non-binary so if they see someone else who is non-binary they would understand.

  • @DemonDog444
    @DemonDog444 Před rokem +1

    Do what you want with your own kids. Do not talk to my kids though, I got it.

  • @khadijahsharif6380
    @khadijahsharif6380 Před 6 lety

    I'm so bored so I just spent about 20 minutes replying to your comments

  • @yadi5808
    @yadi5808 Před 6 lety

    Nice glasses.

  • @theunboxer3964
    @theunboxer3964 Před rokem

    I’m a mixed tape.

  • @Bee-br4no
    @Bee-br4no Před 5 lety

    Im a ten year old non binary person.

  • @joeymanus4712
    @joeymanus4712 Před 2 lety

    im 14 and i knew i was in the lgbt+ when i was 10.

    • @AWylde
      @AWylde  Před 2 lety

      Yes I also knew at a really young age, probably around 7 and I was certain around 11. I came out at 12!

  • @bobabyisjustsoazy
    @bobabyisjustsoazy Před 6 lety

    *preach* 👌 *preach* 👌👌🙄💯

  • @bram3767
    @bram3767 Před 5 lety

    So are you a boy or a girl?

  • @rafaelguedes372
    @rafaelguedes372 Před 2 lety

    :(

  • @InfuzeDcyphR
    @InfuzeDcyphR Před rokem +1

    This is why I believe a level of gender education is vital in elementary school.

  • @ZZ-lo3ek
    @ZZ-lo3ek Před 5 lety +3

    Don't confuse CHILDREN

  • @Magnocalabro
    @Magnocalabro Před 5 měsíci

    Can't you just be a masculine woman?

  • @TheMarinemom02
    @TheMarinemom02 Před 3 lety

    I don’t know, I’m not even gonna pretend this is OK...if binary people don’t know whether they’re a boy or a girl how the heck should a child? What do you think is not a fair answer. Why not just be straight with them? Are you a boy or a girl should not be an offensive question. The grandpa who lives next-door who now wears a dress to cut his grass is offended by being called “him”, until he goes out to the grocery store where he dresses like a man.... I mean where do we draw the line on this human experience thing? Back in my day it was so much easier if you were a girl who didn’t feel like all girl you were just a tomboy if you were a guy who didn’t want to just be a guy you were called effeminate and we left it at that. No one gave a dang how they dressed..,y’all make this too complicated, just live and be happy.

  • @teddy98100
    @teddy98100 Před 5 lety

    You put too much importance on sexuallity. As a straight man I can assure you when we like a girl we tell her and that is it. It's not a lifestyle or something !