Strategies Narcissists Use To Minimize Your Self Trust, featuring Dr. Ramani Durvasula
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- čas přidán 13. 06. 2024
- Dr. C is joined by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, who discusses information from her latest book, It's Not You. Specifically, she walks us through some of the most common ways narcissists whittle at your capacity to trust in yourself.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his CZcams channel, his videos have received more than 110 million views.
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Narcs make you feel like your soul is tired. Mentally and physically.
They exhaust you with their emotional gymnastics.
This is what I'm going through, exhausted. My soul aches for relief.
They are exhausting. Your soul does get tired.
Well said.
When you start to notice a pattern of you feeling drained after interacting with a individual...That's a strong indication something isn't healthy about them & that you need to put distance between you & them to protect your well-being.
Know a narcissist, no peace.
No narcissist, know peace!
Absolutely!
🙌🙌
Hard to do when there are children involved
@@MacJank7 Or when they are your parents.
Right on.
Dam this is honestly the dream team combo, against narcissism lol
Indeed. Well said.
My two favorite people!
Don't forget Jerry Wise, Angie Atkinson(RIP🥲), Quinn Holiday with ASSC Direct, Marnie with But she's your mother, & the other creators on here that are actually doing it right on here with providing reliable info & helping to heal this community🌞🫶🏻.
Amazing video
Yes
Being with a narcissistic:
1- Love bombing
2- Heartbreak
3- Feeling crazy
4- The discard
5- Welcome to PTSD
Seriously no joke!! So much anxiety 8 yr relationship and eviction of him but I'm still not sleeping cuz bills mounting and haven't worked much for the 8 yrs 😢😢😢😢😢
10-4
They are really like poison in the candy box. Especially women that are narcissistic can look and act so sweet and nice and cute and friendly. But then when you are with them in private they are not so sweet anymore.
I am 30 years out of my narcissistic marriage and 10 years since my controlling Mother passed and I am truly starting to really know myself and trust me again. Thank you both for your help through this process. You have no idea how much you have made me feel seen and validated which has made me heal. ❤
Me, too, but C-PTSD, Generalized Anxiety, & Generalized Depression-all from family of origin & narc “husband.”
CPTSD; Complex PTSD
The two people that literally saved me, in one place, helping people. Thank You both for all you do, you literally save people! I am forever Grateful for you both! ❤❤❤
Our pleasure!
Yes!!! Both of these wonderful people have opened my eyes! ❤
@@annjohnson8437 they are wonderful blessings.
Me too!❤
Me too!❤
The mocking was the first red flag 🚩 I noticed.
Yes !!
Mocking is such a sign of contempt, isn't it? Yes, big red flag! A person who truly loves and respects you would never mock you.
They love mockery. It's how they keep underlying instability around them. They need to project their own mental unease onto all others. It's all dominance and control to keep you as stuck as them!
First words out of his mouth when we left were mocking but I didn’t recognize it as contempt only humor
I thought he was funny. It wasn't funny. He was serious.
I'm done with anyone I meet who shows these red flags: passive aggressive behavior, competing with me, disagreeing with anything I say and envying my accomplishments to the point of showing hate.
That is my adult daughter exactly, and I was not even aware that it was patterned narcissistic behaviors. However I recognized them as unacceptable behavior for me, but maintained a limited presence with her in order to be there for my grandchildren who suffered so much at her hands. I felt that if I'd cut myself off, which is my way of dealing with any kind of disrespectful behavior towards me, I'd also be leaving the children to deal with her without any support for them. So I waited until they were grown, all the while giving them positive support and trying to help them love and respect themselves and become empowered despite how they were treated. Actually it was the eldest one who told me she was a narcissist. Lol. Then I knew they would be okay. But I worry about the youngest one who is completely taken over and controlled by her mother and does not even know how to cope. Hopefully sharing this video with them will help them to understand better. Thanks.
If people disagree it's not a bad thing. The problem is they have to be right. And they make their view facts. Well we all have our options, our perceptions and we should be ok w that. If not then their might be a problem
@@movingforwardfco1587 I said "Disagreeing with anything I say" not "Disagreeing with me". There's a big difference between disagreeing with something I said and disagreeing with everything I say. Narcissist disagree with nearly everything I say. Normal people don't try to invalidate me every time I speak.
I'm with you absolutely 💯
I'm with you. I HATE narcissists and I feel that I can never really get all their poison out of my soul.
I think I speak for everyone on Team Healthy when I say we love you both. Thank you!
Thank you!
Absolutely! Go, Team Healthy!
You two folks are a lifeline. Sometimes the Universe conspires to give us just what we need. It happened during this event. Thank you!
Empaths feel your pain. Narcissists cause your pain.
It’s the broken spirit that was so devastating.
Yes, for me, it was my broken social self. It took me years to recover and I'm still socially tender. Every day is a challenge, another attempt at trauma mitigation and nervous system reset. It's possible, it takes time and love.
My next first date will be at the psych office!
Superman and Wonder Woman of Narc videos unite!
Book was preordered. Now it’s marked with a ton of notes. My life was changed years ago when Dr Ramani said, “The four most dangerous words in the English language are… “benefit of the doubt.” I’m so glad you’re teaming up again, DrC!
It was a real good interview. Hope it meets your expectations!!
My daughter just said that to me?
What's the context of it?
Fantastic, these two together. Hurrah!
@@El_PetoI imagine those words mean when we meet these people out in the real world we often think “no it can’t be, maybe I’m wrong” -you give them the benefit of the doubt ,a mistake on our part once they’ve shown us who they really are. We shouldn’t deny our reality and accept it and move on away from those people.
"It feels like you can't do anything right."
"Riddled with contempt....like they are disgusted with you."
"Loss of psychological safety."
"False promises and moving the goal posts."
"Anxiety, depression, and physical illness."
All of these things were SO prevalent in my last relationship. I was terrified of coming home after work because I didn't know what I'd be coming home to. I suffered in silence because every time I tried to express how I was feeling, I was attacked and dismissed and blamed. It's truly the worst relationship I've ever experienced.
You were walking on egg shells. That's exactly where the narcissist wants you because that's where the narcissist gets grade A narcissistic supply.
@@rwdchannel2901 exactly. Every day was so filled with stress that the only place I felt relaxed was at work.
I can relate, it's like walking on eggshells and it never ends.
As truly painful & awful as all of our experiences are/were...The 1 good thing is it can help educate us when paired with this top-notch knowledge from folks like Dr.C & Dr.Ramani so we're no longer easy 🎯s for these very dysfunctional & predatory types of people🌞❤️🩹.
You can't to them. You have to learn that to move forward.
Totally fan girling! My two favorite psychologists together!
SAME
Same! 😁
yup!
I know right!!! 😊❤️
You know how a lot of folks get all excited about sport-stars like football players & whatnot?Well that's how excited our society as a whole should be about mental health professionals like this that are helping many folks in need, they're really helping to change lives for the better😄🎉🏆.
I’m a survivor, a clinician of 20 years and a huge fan of both of you. My heart is full and grateful for your service. Michelle Mendez❤
Scapegoat/black sheep here, 7years NC now. Dr C & Dr R have helped me save my sanity. Eternally grateful ❤
✌🏾
❤️ENJOY! ❤️
So happy you escaped😄.Dr.Ramani's new book "It's not you" is fantastic if you're interested by the way🌞👍🏻👍🏻.
It is wonderful that you are free. 🕊 Dr. C. has a collaborative video with Jerry Wise. He dives really deep into the scapegoat role. He has been an immense help as well. I am so very happy for you. ❤️
@@tbunnyshy1 I randomly discovered that bald beauty back in the winter😄.His content involving how narcissistic families function as a whole & the effects of it on victims is top-notch, he really should have more subscribers than he does in my opinion.2 more less known 💎s are But she's your mother & ASSC Direct...Years ago ASSC Direct was the 1st channel I found, Quinn Holiday changed my life so much for the better back then🌞❤️🩹.
Two of the most influential people in my life in the same video! Thank you for all that you do, I know it's not easy work. The difference you are making in the world cannot be measured.
Wow, thank you!
So true! They are so helpful. We are blessed with these two great Docs.
I almost squealed like a teenager when I saw this come up on my feed!!!! Watch both of these amazing people’s channel’s. They both helped me understand so much about myself and how to deal with the narcissist people in my life. ❤
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! This was so goood.
We all are happy to take in these experts' teachings and help! Teenage squealing and cartwheels going on.
They are amazing gifts to the world.
Me too!!! It was like two of my dear friends finally meeting or something!!🤗
Right!!!
"To know love is to know trust; to know oneself is to know truth."
cc. 2020
How do you ever trust if you seem to be a magnet for these evil people? I trust no one because he literally fooled everyone in my life I thought I could trust no matter what.
@@movingforwardfco1587 That would a great question to shoot by a professional counselor.
A girlfriend in college made me aware that trust was essential in a long-term relationship. I talked with her 30 years after she cheated, and that was the first thing she mentioned. She was a psychology major. ☺
Her poor judgment helped me wake up to this concept of "trust".
It's just pure psychotic chaos and a waste of time energy and a ruined childhood. Neglected ignored abandoned over and over and over. Sabotaged at all life turning events, first love, first car, college, marriage, baby, mom and dad ruined all of it for me. Run the hell away from narcissist parents, you are already alone❤
Yes- my mother was horrifically abusive- an unrelenting tyrant. It is only now that I see my father was not as much a victim as we were - line of people trying to make sense of it. But he was a co abuser who manipulated and brainwashed his children.
I have discovered that I am in a narcissistic relationship. I have felt for years that "I'm going crazy." My husband will flat out tell me that what I remember happening did not happen. I don't even want to be at home if he's there.
❤ i hope you find the chance and strength to get out!
Same here! I live for the weeks he has to travel for work. If I didn't get those breaks, I'd probably lose my mind. Dr. Ramani and Dr. C have both helped me realize I can't live like this forever. Saving up to break free. ❤
@@Picca65me too! ❤
I am saving up too. Everything is in my name. The mortgage, bills, etc. I don't make enough on my own to stay and kick him out. We have our house on the market. Hopefully it will sell soon and then instead of finding anew place together, I will take that opportunity to go my separate way.
Dump his ass
I live in a Petri dish with my spouse who exhibits covert narcissistic tendencies.
What I’ve learned about narcissists, I’ve learned from these two world class professionals.
❤️🩹 go gray rock plz no supply/no enabling ❤
World class is right!
5:26- "A narcissistic person never wants a relationship where you're on equal footing." 🤯🤯🤯 That explains so much of what I experienced.
Me too💡
You two have given me a master's degree worth of content since Dec 2021. I am a survivor that reclaimed my freedom.
Exactly, they offer so much to help fill in the gap for those of us that can't afford therapy, feel too raw or embarrassed to 👀 a therapist, or simply have difficulty actually finding a good therapist that really understands narcissistic abuse & it's effects on victims in depth😉.Great work educating yourself & working on healing, it really does get so much better with time and patience with yourself🌞👍🏻👍🏻.
1 last thing...Dr.Ramani's new book "It's not you" is TOTALLY worth getting, it's full of 💎s even for those of us that are now well educated🌞👍🏻.Best wishes🕊️.
Reading “It’s Not You” right now. Almost done. It is a MUST read for anyone dealing with narcissistic personalities. Just so we’ll written and concise. ❤
Second collaboration from two experts who have ushered me through the darkness more than I can ever convey!!!💜💪Please book a part 3!😉
I can’t even begin to explain what these 2 did to help me push through my divorce. It is beyond describable all I can say is thank you for helping me keep my eyes open.
Narcissists never take accountability for anything. They are the kind of people who could be driving down the street, and have an accident and hit your car that is parked in your own driveway, and try to make it seem that it is YOUR fault your car got totaled, and you should be paying for the repairs on their car.
So correct. It may be called "cognitive creativity" the characteristic which evil beings have in spades...
You two are a powerhouse and both saving lives. Thank you!!!
story of my life. for 25 years, i didn't know this had a "name".
thanks Dr. Carter and Dr. Ramani!
To anyone reading this:
I love you. ✌🏽 There is still love here in this sick, twisted, demented, dark world.
What happened to us
is not our fault.
So kind, thank you.
@@SurvivingNarcissism 911 FBI SVU POLICE
HELP.
911 POLICE SEATTLE/PORTLAND
911 NICK WILSON HAS A GUN.
HE ALMOST KILLED ME.
NICK WILSON IS THE SON OF KKK NAZIS.
HE IS A PROFESSIONAL LIAR, MANIPULATOR AND FRAUD.
911 TIA DUNHAM HAS BEEN SEVERELY ABUSING ME SINCE 2020 AND ALMOST KILLED ME.
SHE IS A PROFESSIONAL LIAR AND MANIPULATOR.
SHE IS LYING TO THE POLICE AND NEEDS TO BE ARRESTED FOR SEVERE ABUSE.
911 SHE HAS A GUN.
911 SHE IS AN ANTIFA EXTREMIST 911
SHE IS AN EXTREMELY VIOLENT, SEVERELY ABUSIVE, HEAVILY ARMED PSYCHOPATH.
911 NICK WILSON HAS A GUN.
HE ALMOST KILLED ME.
HE IS A HEAVILY ARMED, EXTREMELY VIOLENT, SERIAL RAPIST NARCISSISTIC PSYCHOPATH.
NICK WILSON AND TIA DUNHAM ALMOST KILLED ME AFTER RAPING, RAPING, RAPING, RAPING, RAPING RAPING AND RAPING ME, SEVERELY ABUSING AND COMPLETELY AND FULLY FINANCIALLY EXPLOITING ME FOR OVER $200,000.00 FOR 4 YEARS.
TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS
911 POLICE SVU FBI 911
911 BRIDGE CITY SESSIONS 911
1420 SE POWELL BLVD PORTLAND OREGON MULTNOMAH COUNTY
911 PORTLAND, OREGON 911
TIA DUNHAM'S BABY DADDY AND PARTNER OF 13 YEARS (AND MY EX HUSBAND), NICK WILSON LEFT ME PARALYZED AND PERMANENTLY DISABLED WITH SEVERE TRAUMATIC BRAIN DAMAGE AFTER SEVERELY ABUSING ME AND COMPLETELY FINANCIALLY EXPLOITING ME FOR 4 YEARS.
HE AND TIA DUNHAM ALMOST KILLED ME.
THEY ARE LYING TO EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOU AND TRYING TO GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING THEY'VE DONE TO ME.
PLEASE HELP ME.
EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF NICK WILSONS AND TIA DUNHAM'S MOUTH IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIE.
911 POLICE HELP
911 HE IS A HEAVILY ARMED, EXTREMELY VIOLENT, MALIGNANT NARCISSISTIC PSYCHOPATHIC PERVERTED SERIAL RAPIST.
911 HE HAS BEEN ABUSING ME SINCE 2019. HELP.
HELP.
NICK WILSON AND
TIA DUNHAM ALMOST
KILLED ME.
911 FBI SVU POLICE
@@SurvivingNarcissism 911 FBI SVU POLICE
HELP.
911 POLICE SEATTLE/PORTLAND
911 NICK WILSON HAS A GUN.
HE ALMOST KILLED ME.
HE IS THE SON OF KKK NAZIS.
HE IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR, PROFESSIONAL MANIPULATOR AND FRAUD.
911 TIA DUNHAM HAS BEEN SEVERELY ABUSING ME SINCE 2020 AND ALMOST KILLED ME.
SHE IS A PROFESSIONAL LIAR AND MANIPULATOR.
SHE IS LYING TO THE POLICE AND NEEDS TO BE ARRESTED FOR SEVERE ABUSE.
911 SHE HAS A GUN.
911 SHE IS AN ANTIFA EXTREMIST 911
SHE IS AN EXTREMELY VIOLENT, SEVERELY ABUSIVE, HEAVILY ARMED PSYCHOPATH.
911 NICK WILSON HAS A GUN.
HE ALMOST KILLED ME.
HE IS A HEAVILY ARMED, EXTREMELY VIOLENT, SERIAL RAPIST NARCISSISTIC PSYCHOPATH.
NICK WILSON AND TIA DUNHAM ALMOST KILLED ME AFTER RAPING, RAPING, RAPING, RAPING, RAPING RAPING AND RAPING ME, SEVERELY ABUSING AND COMPLETELY AND FULLY FINANCIALLY EXPLOITING ME FOR OVER $200,000.00 FOR 4 YEARS.
TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS
911 POLICE SVU FBI 911
911 BRIDGE CITY SESSIONS 911
1420 SE POWELL BLVD PORTLAND OREGON MULTNOMAH COUNTY
911 PORTLAND, OREGON 911
TIA DUNHAM'S BABY DADDY AND PARTNER OF 13 YEARS (AND MY EX HUSBAND), NICK WILSON LEFT ME PARALYZED AND PERMANENTLY DISABLED WITH SEVERE TRAUMATIC BRAIN DAMAGE AFTER SEVERELY ABUSING ME AND COMPLETELY FINANCIALLY EXPLOITING ME FOR 4 YEARS.
HE AND TIA DUNHAM ALMOST KILLED ME.
THEY ARE LYING TO EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOU AND TRYING TO GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING THEY'VE DONE TO ME.
PLEASE HELP ME.
EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF NICK WILSONS AND TIA DUNHAM'S MOUTH IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIE.
911 POLICE HELP
911 HE IS A HEAVILY ARMED, EXTREMELY VIOLENT, MALIGNANT NARCISSISTIC PSYCHOPATHIC PERVERTED SERIAL RAPIST.
911 HE HAS BEEN ABUSING ME SINCE 2019. HELP.
HELP.
NICK WILSON AND
TIA DUNHAM ALMOST
KILLED ME.
911 FBI SVU POLICE
You both are the reason I am literally still alive. I went through so much of this abuse as the
Scapegoat child and then in my 5 year marriage from hell. I was that person Dr. Ramani described that had a hard time getting out, of the marriage. Then the post abuse, stalking, death threats. It all became too much. After all the gaslighting, physical abuse, egg shell walking, I became a shadow of my former self. It has taken a lifetime to recover. It's an endless ongoing process, this recovery. Gathering yourself back bit by bit. But it is possible, with a lot of hard work. You become someone else, evolved. When you pass the place of being angry with yourself for putting up with it for so long, you'll have discernment. You'll be glad and grateful you stuck around life. You can fall in love with you and then be proud of you. All that you survived. You don't recover alone in a vaccume. Thank you both for being there, you can't begin to imagine what you've both helped me overcome. Mahalo and aloha.❤😊
Such encouraging words!
🌺🌺🌺
This is pure gold! Learning from Dr C & Dr Romani 5 or 6 years ago that I was married to a narcissist for over 30 years was the missing piece for me. I especially am appreciative to Dr Romani for recognizing that some of us just can't simply leave & there are good reasons for that. Many times, the content on both channels has been so relevant to me & so timely that they seem like angels with a message for me. They literally have saved my sanity & continue to do so. Along with therapy, videos & books, I'm always learning & feel validated & supported. Thank you both for all you do!
When we gain knowledge around our experiences, it's like going into a dark attic and prying open the sealed window. The second we see that first crack of light the knowledge floods over us. The warmth that creates is life-changing. We can now begin to see past the darkness and live in light. We can make better choices, find our chosen family, and be our our authentic selves. We might be covered in cobwebs, dust and debris from the journey, but reaching that destination - Freedom beyond compare! Be Well. Be Blessed!
Well said!
Yes, exactly!
Love this, so true
We Finally have knowledge to defeat these psycho narcissists. All the people of the past didn't stand a chance.
yes its much better to be heartbroken and in grief than to continue dealing with extremely mentally ill ppl trying to make sense of anything.
I'll never forget the sense of relief and liberation when I realised "this is a thing!". It changed my life. I was finally validated. I finally realised it wasn't me. I literally went around saying "this is a THING! " to everyone who would listen. My life changed. And I finally managed to leave. 7 years later, I'm still healing in many ways. The ptsd is real. But it's rather be here than still in a place thinking I was crazy.
2024 is the year of exposure!
Trump’s too
I think when everything becomes crystal clear that who we are dealing with and all the attraction is out the window , what keeps us anchored is trauma bonding that is stronger than initial attraction bonding.
Our separation anxiety is the culprit
Exactly how my narc mother made me feel. And now that she's gone, physically, I'm still recovering for over 25 years.
Trust begins with self trust, trust your self trust!
What really still gets under my skin is the victim shaming that is common when a person cuts off narc family members and flying monkeys. Just yesterday, I was attacked and condemned for cutting off a flying monkey who was a family member. This happened on narcissist recovery support forum. This did not surprise me. I've seen it many times. It did anger me however, as it always does. If people, who have zero knowledge of a situation, cannot say something supportive or neutral, then they should just keep their pie holes shut.
I spent nearly a decade, 10 years ago, and the therapist never ever mentioned narcissism to me; it was me who seemed inflexible and unwilling to accept my parents. But I kept hurting and self-blaming, until I started watching Dr Ramani, Les and some others on CZcams and realised that it was growing up in a narcissistic family- where I was the scapegoat- that had the key to so much suffering from a very young age. I'm learning every day, thanks to professionals like these and, though I still struggle, I understand more and can be more compassionate towards the scared and insecure little girl inside of me. Thank you so much Ramani and Les!! ❤
You both literally saved my sanity! Thank you! You'll never know how much I appreciate you both!
So pleased!
This is very informative! - my problem in trying to distance myself was that the narcissist in my life was my vindictive, psychopathic, underhanded, sneaky mother. ( I deliberately chose to live 2000 miles from her and still got sick two weeks later every time I was around her. Yes, I was blamed for everything. She's been dead for 24 years and I'm just now really finding out the extent and depth of the betrayals. and the very evil nature she was mostly successful in hiding.
Dr C & Dr Ramani - you are not only helping people recognize the patterns and this type of behavior has a 'name', you also also saving lives....literally.
For those who experience this in the body, you’ll sense that they’re holding you under water, and you have to use energy to fight back up to the surface. It keeps happening, and you get tired. It’s ok to give up! Walk away, it’s the wisest choice. You can do it in silence, no need to announce it.
Dr. C and Dr. Ramani my two favorite teachers regarding narcissism. Their advice has changed my life. ❤❤
Narcissists are experts at making you feel worthless ~ then when they leave ~ We punish ourselves.
Dynamic duo! My two favorite therapists, together!
We don’t see a narcissist coming because they apparently appear to love your morals and values and honesty and loyalty and you believe that one of the people you meet could actually be the same as yourself,, Ive learned that no matter what you try and how many sorrys you receive the crocodile tears,, you are waiting your time so it’s a learning curve of how to recognise and walk away as early as you can because no one should be ever unkind and disrespectful to anyone ❤
As in my Alanon Program, I learned that it was not the alcoholic who had to change, but I who needed to change. This also holds true in s Narcissist relationship. Radical Acceptance is absolutely necessary to survive and live beyond what we are stuck in. And eventually at some point the dynamics work quite well. I have survived and rebuild my life. Thanks to Dr.C. and Dr. R. God bless both of you for your great dedication to the mental health of millions.❤
The point about "conflict actually feels threatening" is so relevant to me. My brother is a narcissist. During childhood, I saw friends fight each other, brother VS brother, and physically roughhouse when having a disagreement. Then they would resolve their fight and continue playing soccer or something. But when my brother and I had a fight, it would be a horrible experience for me. People say, "you learn to disagree, to stand up for yourself, etc." That's not what was happening at all. What was happening is, I was being abused and dominated by an older, bigger brother. There was never a resolution to any discussion. It wasn't healthy conflict.
So true. My mother would b “psychoanalyzing” me for hours making me believe I was the one who was crazy. She really ran me in circles where I was convinced I was so f Ed up that I needed help. She’d also just bury me with all these horrible things that happened to her as a child. She was sexually abused by her Father. My grandfather. But a 13/14 year old kid doesn’t have the wherewithal to deal with that kind of information. And the Really sick part, was that we’d All (5 kids. I was the oldest so my sisters and brother were really young) over to see and visit and help our grandparents on a regular basis. They came over for dinner etc etc HOW the hell r kids supposed to deal with the incongruity of it all?! I loved my grandparents (my GMA on my moms side was an untreated paranoid schizophrenic) but after that I was confused cuz I loved my mom and I was angry that my g’pa did that to my mom.
I’m getting your book!
I am so profoundly grateful to you both for the illumination you have brought to my life. My life has been filled with Narcissists since Day 1. I am now 72 years old, and even though it is very late for me in this lifetime, I shudder to think what would have happened to me had I continued my path in blindness and not had the immense good fortune to discover you and thus come to understand what this horror story is all about. Whatever is left of my life, you have saved it. May God Bless You Abundantly and Always. Thank you!
I am 72 also. At age 29, I called my grandma and said I had to get out of here. She said pack up your girls and come. I felt immediate relief. An hour later, my folks called and said ‘you can’t come here, you have to stay there. I knew he was crazy. I knew I had to leave. 50 years of marriage later, I could have had a different life and possibly a better life for my girls. No surprise now, I now know that my parents were narcissists.
Never had any empathy from my parents. Both of them. Had no where to turn....except to myself.
I expect you are a very strong person because of this. It’s a lot
@@giatasha2181Nobody had any idea. If you don't live with this abuse personally...others cannot relate.
OmG!! THIS is like the dream Mom & Dad that we wished we had had instead of the wicked ones we really did..a beautiful thing to behold💖🖤❤️💥🙌🏾🥰🔥💯🔥
Super powers have converged!!!
Loving this!!!
When you finally gain the courage to confront or stand up to them, they accuse you of being argumentative. Great video!! Love you both! 👏👏
Consider the source and keep moving.
🎯🎯🎯
I hope for anyone that goes through this will have many blessings come their way and they are able to find the beauty in the world again.
You’re resilient, you’re strong, and you will get through this- be the captain of your ship, sails won’t always be smooth but navigating the turbulent seas will make you a better sailor and you’ll better enjoy when your in the calm picturesque tranquil water. ❤️
I determine to not shame myself and be my best friend.❤
So great to see these two "GOATS" together again, what a privilege! Thank you both so very much!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Sooo true!! Everything clicked into place once I did some deep diving into this after 40 years. I wondered WHY every thing I tried never worked, while I’m disappearing in focusing on HIS happiness & approval !!! Never quite attaining, bar always raised just when I thought I got it. Crazy making!! Thank you both for helping me really see what was going on.
Same situation for me. It's amazing when you hit the aha moment and the blinders come off and you see the person clearly for what they are.
I can just add and affirm: these two wonderful people have helped me to see the truth about my 34 year marriage which got worse and worse which was presented as my fault. Once I saw the list describing what covert narc looked like, I could only mark each one of them with a yes check mark. I am healing now 18 months later. The divorce proceedings is an uphill battle but I have my peace. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT by these videos. Greetings from Europe!
I am reading Dr Ramani’s book and am finding it SO helpful. My husband is 80 and I am 76 and feel that I have left it too late to leave him, so am learning as much as I can to help me cope. Thank you Dr Ramani and Dr Carter.
Go gray rock plz so you don’t enable him anymore
Its never too late to save yourself
"But that's the thing about narcissists. They can try to fool you, with all their heart, but in the end they're just fooling themselves."
-Ellie Fox
“those who get upset for being treated the way that they treat others, will never understand why others treat them the way that they treat others.”
― David J Martinez
Great quotes.
The dream team!! 💛
Living under a rock in the last month. OMG, try years and years and years. I am so lucky I am basically in one piece and used creativity, work and love to survive.
I was raised by a BPD parent and have been in multiple narc relationships. It’s so painful and damaging. I’m so grateful for voices like you guys to help me through these dark days ❤
When it’s a parent you CANNOT push back. We have to relent.
My mother gaslight my father by telling us Kids while we were having dinner they were getting a divorce. We all started crying and my Dads face was Complete shock and confusion. She Never discussed it with him!!! Before telling us. It came as a complete shock to him as much as us. And my father was a good guy who loved his family. He was a very supportive loving and caring father. 💔
This was such an AWESOME collaboration! 🎉🎉🥳🥳 Both of you have been such a great source of knowledge, wisdom, and empathy; for myself, and many others. Thank You To You Both. 💛💜
You're quite welcome.
Two of my favorites! Love and appreciate you both more than you know! ❤️ Thank you for all you do!
YOu're quite welcome!
When Dr. Carter said, "you're not crazy and you're not alone" I started to cry.
Thank you for inviting Dr. Ramani. She's an expert in Narcissistic Disorder as you are.
Please do this more often. Thank you so much for this wonderful show. ❤
The two and the best people to teach and help you navigate the Kingdom of Narcissism. Thank you for always sharing your wisdom and knowledge regarding this insanity that's devouring, infecting, poisoning, and destroying your whole being.
I found out about Dr Ramani and Dr Carter from my online therapist who was the first person to tell me what was wrong with my ex-husband and my son.. they are both textbook Narcissists and I had NO IDEA what I was dealing with! Even when I shared videos from both of you with my daughter, she was like “omg! How did we not know!” (Of course I went to a therapist because my narcissistic son was blaming me for everything wrong in his life and his marriage and now his wife was hating on me because he poisoned her and I had to seek therapy ) Thank you both for helping us deal with these two people in our lives and to not only heal ourselves, but not feel guilty about it- as the narcissist will inevitably do! My ex- has recently passed away (with no one except his 7th ex-wife by his side). My daughter has no contact with my son, her brother, and I have low-contact due to him having a grandbaby now. But we would not have been able to do this without both of you. Thank you thank you thank you for your excellent service to all of us dealing with narcissistic people in our lives. May God bless you both.❤❤
It's a family thing. I've dealt with covert narcs. Hard for me because I have learning disabilities.
I relate to what you said. Thank You for explaining it to me.
Take care of your inner self. We all count.
🤗
I have her book here in my hands.
I can't wait to listen to your conversation!!
Thank you!!! From Italy
I really enjoyed this interview!!
May I dare to make a request for the next video?
A roundtable talk with:
Dr Ramani Durvasula
Dr Rebecca Mandeville
Dr Janina Fisher.
Interviewer: Dr Les Carter
Supervisor: Gus, Team Healthy Dog
Hi to you, lishmah. Haven't seen you in chat. I hope you are doing well.
@@hartofnixie7060
Hi Hart 🌼 I was there but I didn't enter the chat.
I need to slow down a little bit, to focus on my recovery. Therefore I'm trying to limit also the most difficult "intellectual" activities for me as a non-native speaker (for example, on the internet, for me is not easy following and writing in a chat at the same time as I follow the speech in the video...)
Plus, recently, I've been experiencing a lot of attacks from my narcissists... Exhausting.
I think they noticed (a lot) my non-reactivity to their tricks and my detachment from them... So, at the moment, I need to stay calm and focused, keeping on working on my healing paths.
I continue to follow Dr Carter and all my "favorites"... I continue to read the comments from all of Team Healthy. Long story short, I'm always here, but I'm much quieter than usual
(also because of all the CZcams glitches that tire me).
How are you doing? 💛
Hi Hart 🌼 I was there but I didn't enter the chat.
I need to slow down a little bit, to focus on my recovery. Therefore I'm trying to limit also the most difficult "intellectual" activities for me as a non-native speaker (for example, on the internet, for me is not easy following and writing in a chat at the same time as I follow the speech in the video...)
Plus, recently, I've been experiencing a lot of attacks from my narcissists... Exhausting.
I think they noticed (a lot) my non-reactivity to their tricks and my detachment from them... So, at the moment, I need to stay calm and focused, keeping on working on my healing paths.
I continue to follow Dr Carter and all my "favorites"... I continue to read the comments from all of Team Healthy. Long story short, I'm always here, but I'm much quieter than usual
(also because of all the CZcams glitches that tire me).
How are you doing? 💛
(for the record: this is the second time I'm trying to send a reply to you... Hope now it will be visible... I will send it as a reply to my post. Let's see if it works this way... )
Hi Lishma, my Italian girl with good quality sandals 😊
Until now Dr Carter has never done a round table 😅
I am very sorry to hear about your attacks 🥲
And yes, your answer to Hart is visible, at least for me.
Wishing you lots of PEACE 💛❣
@lishmahlishmah I saw it briefly then lost it (probably accidently hit something I shouldn't).Keep your focus, and if you need emotional support, we are here for you & you know where to find team healthy. I think Dr. C has discussed that increase by Narcissists when they see your nonreactvity. Stay strong. I'm doing well except for a dental issue, which is much easier to deal with than Narcistic attacks, and total relief is a sure thing with time and care. BTW you do very well for a non native speaker, better than many native speakers!
Team Carter, Team Ramani and of course Team HEALTHY! ❤ ❤
OMG - the King & Queen of my CZcams therapy !!!!!!!!!
I have been listening to you both for YEARS ! I have both your books- Dr Ramani’s new book in hardcover & audible! Dr C.-I attended your seminar in Dallas & gave you a big hug ! Thank God for you both!!!!!!!
"When you pleasing you is killing me" 💯💯💯
Two of the greatest minds on the topic of narcissism and narcissistic abuse! Two powerhouses!
So beautiful to hear my 2 favorit helpers for me together!!! Could not heal without you two!!!
You both were my guides and gave me comfort during nights of confussion, wondering what was happening to me! It's been a long way to find the way out of a marriage with the person I loved so much, and the father of my 4 children. You helped me staying alive, gave me insights. Thankful and grateful to you both.
My 2 narcisism mentors!
Wow happy day for me 🥳
Dr. Carter, you are the best of the best. Your genuine care shines through.
Thanks so much.
I divorced my narcissistic husband 22 years ago and yet, see that my son is narcissistic and married to a narcissist. Dr. R. & Dr. C.are life-savers
Two angels, two people who simultaneously and in unison changed my life for the better and forever! Thank you very much, Ramani and Carter from the bottom of my heart.
If I could do one thing before I shed my mortal coil, it’s to give these two extraordinary human beings, a hug, and say thank you. I’ll always do my best to pay it forward
❤❤❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
OMG! CHECK! CHECK! AND CHECK! Thank you for putting into language what I've experienced. When I was married, my ex and I moved away from all my friends. During the couple years that we lived in the small town, he took advantage of my isolation, often berating me and making me feel like I was flawed. I gathered the courage to divorce him after we joined a group and the members took me aside and pointed out what a narcissistic jerk he was being to me,
As you say, I needed validators to help me realize that I had been stuck in a 10-year marriage from hell.
Oh the graciousness and compassion they have for each other at the end!! So heartwarming! This was a good one guys! I’ve been a fan of both of you for about four years now. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼bravo 🥰
So true that the knowing "what you're up against paradigm shift" is crucial to surviving.
I was saying all this stuff 33 years ago to myself and friends and even my husband and couldn’t figure out what it was all about so finding out 2 1/2 years ago because of these two wonderful individuals saved my life. I’m recovering now and getting there. Thank you Dr R and Dr C xxxx
You two are my favorite go to, for information for myself and my clients.
Bought the audible book and now i need the hard copy. It's easier to go back and re read passages from a book and It's Not You is an amazing piece of work.
Patrick Sicard PsyD
Two of my favorites!! Her new book is fire. 🔥
Dr.s Ramani & Carter, listening to you talk together is like like looking at narcissism via multiple angles thru a prism. Thanks againt for sharing your wisdom!
Our pleasure!
Courts need to read the book !!!!!
100% you have both helped me SO MUCH, Dr Ramani and Dr Carter! Setting people free, one act of DRC at a time 💜