Dealing with self-doubt as a massage therapist (with guided meditation!)
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- čas přidán 19. 06. 2024
- My new book is out! It's called Massage Is Weird: massagesloth.com/book/
Are you psyching yourself out during your sessions? Do you find yourself dreading new massage clients because "what if they hate it?" In this video I talk about a few basic mindfulness techniques to get yourself out of that habit (or at least to make those intrusive thoughts a little less powerful). We talk about distancing, embracing, distraction, and how to psych yourself up! Then we end with a guided meditation that will walk you through an easy mindfulness exercise for dealing with self-doubt. This is for massage students and massage therapists alike.
0:00 Introduction
1:50 Impostor Syndrome and you
3:30 Anxiety and self-doubt
5:55 Rumination
8:25 Strategies to stop rumination
9:10 The power of noticing
9:48 Strategy 1: Mental distancing
10:55 Strategy 2: Embracing
13:12 Strategy 3: Distraction
15:10 Massage as meditation
16:50 Letting go of outcomes
19:55 Letting go of "fixing"
23:00 Psych yourself up!
24:10 Consider talk therapy
26:45 Give this time
29:15 How to meditate
32:18 Guided meditation for self-doubt
Music:
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I’m currently in massage school. I just started my 2.5 month internship. So far I’ve given approximately 40 massages and I’ve been dealing with imposter syndrome. I’m in disbelief that I have repeat clients and great reviews. There’s this inexplicable pattern of not being able to feel proud of myself or feel like an expert. I feel like people are lying and just being nice. It logically makes no sense. But the feelings are strong. Thank you for this video❤. Just what I needed
I feel very connected to what you are saying. After 25 years into my career, I still feel the Imposter Syndrome. Never knew it had a name! Sometimes I wonder if it’s not so much my confidence issues but rather knowing that realistically we can’t please everyone. Someone will come along at some point and not like the work they received. I tell myself that I have a style of massage, a toolbox of moves that I expand occasionally and if I can’t please everyone then at least I can please enough to have a clientele that is right for me. I don’t want every client out there- I want to share them with other MT’s !!! Maybe that will help you? Cheers to you for putting your insecurities out there for us to read. It’s a great and humbling experience for our careers.
Haven't even listened yet, but I thought I was the only one who had occasional thoughts that I suck as an MT!!!
I bet it's more like 90% of us 🙂 and we're all wrong!
All you really need is to be present and provide touch :)
I'm a massage enthusiast, not a therapist. It never dawned on me my therapist might be thinking these things. For what it's worth, I've never had negative thoughts about the massage I'm receiving.
As a new LMT I experience This during every. single. session. I need to get out of my head and into my body
My advice is to be kind to yourself about it. If a friend were struggling with self-doubt, you wouldn't chide them! 🙂 Treat yourself just as gently, and even if you have a rough day, realize that's part of the process. Growth is always a meandering line.
Oh good, I'm not the only one 😅 I definitely find myself suffering from intrusive thoughts while I'm in the massage room. I actually have always used thinking about books and movies to get me back on track.
That being said, I do love to massage slowly because of watching your videos. You're a great teacher and an awesome human being. Thank you for everything!
Thanks for this!!! I just graduated MT school and had self doubt the whole time. I feel I'm not good but everyone I touch says otherwise. I appreciate your insight
This whole week I have Been struggling with this
Hahaha I had to stop at 8 minutes and comment just because I am loving this video and I am so pumped that you share so much. The videos are great and I appreciate your honesty & gentle humour and I think it is awesome and useful that you have a psychology degree and bet that would come in handy when listening to people and helping them holistically.
I love this video! I've been a massage therapist for 17 years and took a break for a couple years, due to the pandemic. I decided to dip my toe back in by applying at massage envy to get back into the rhythm of everything again....why was I nervous about the practical interview 🤦♀️ I ended up doing a two part interview for a high end property before my massage envy scheduled interview, and got the job 🎉 Of course I did! Honestly watching videos of massage techniques has helped my confidence so much. Learning techniques that make massaging easier on my body helps a ton too.
Thank you for this! I often question whether I'm in the right career because of imposter syndrome. I tend to compare myself to other therapists, and end up making myself feel worse about all of it. I've been watching your videos to improve my techniques, and I never would have guessed that you also suffer from this at times. Thank you for your honesty. It is important for people to talk about these things and to know that we are not alone in these feelings. I appreciate you so much!
So magical ...Feel this from time to time .All the other Therapist are more experienced then me I only have 2 years of actually working as a therapist .So sometimes don't feel as confident as others
Thank you for being so open and transparent,. I believe that body workers want to do their best to make someone feel better, we are usually more empathetic and can relate to peoples aches, pains and other obstacles but this makes us more sensitive to these thoughts and possible negative energies . I've been an RMT for over 8 years, I've realized that clearing your workspace with incense and positive affirmations, also doing a quick grounding for yourself prior to working on someone else to get yourself in tune with how your body is feeling. Then working from that place, if your intention is to help heal, let go, relax, be positive this is not just for your client, it is for you. :) namaste
Wow thank you so much. I was crying about this today thinking that I couldn’t possibly be a good enough practitioner and beating myself up. I really appreciate your insight and instruction. I truly look up to you as a therapist and individual! Thanks for being you and posting these honest and informed videos!
Thank you for posting this! So completely on point and right on time
Agreed
I feel the same! So reassuring!
Thank you for that, Ian. I was listening on my drive to work and happened to be early enough to meditate with you before going in. I appreciate you.
This video and everyone's comments to it, were exactly what I needed. The last few weeks of ups and downs with these emotions have been heavy. I've focused alot on my self care and that helped but to hear from experienced MT having the same thoughts and feelings was exactly the break through I needed. It may not prevent me from every feeling or thinking this again but there is somthing in knowing you're not the only one and this is actually normal that really helps to work through and lighten the load to be carried. I can't thank you and everyone that commented enough!
I definitely feel that, Holly. It's nice to know that you're not the only one with those negative thoughts and doubts, and you're definitely not. Be well, and feel free to join us on the forum (search "massage sloth clubhouse" on Facebook) if you'd like to talk this out!
Good to see you back. i dont know anything about massage therapy but i been falling asleep watching your old videos last week and i have been someone who has had trouble sleeping for a long time. thanks again. love from India.
❤️
Wonderful video, I appreciated the guided meditation Ian. You would make an excellent counselor.
Thank you so much for sharing this ♥️ I’m overcoming a traumatic experience both physically and mentally. I’ve been thinking a lot about my return to massage and was so worried with the fact that I won’t be able to provide the same massage to my clients and already struggling with the feeling of not being good enough for them. This will be my reminder that I am not alone. I’ve struggled with these thoughts many of times during previous massages and have overcome and I can do it again 💪🤗
You can do it, and you'll be great! If you're ever feeling yourself starting on one of those cascades of worry, I want you to look at your hands and say, "I trust you." They know what to do, even on the worst days. As you become more comfortable trusting your hands, gradually expand that bubble. You are your hands, and you are the one worthy of trust.
I'm only 1 minute into the video and it could not have come at a better time!. I graduated Masage school a year ago and have alot of self doubt from time to time. I thought it was just me. It's good to see I'm not alone.
Thanks for this Ian. I'm soon to qualify as a Level 5 Sports Massage Therapist and the thought of starting a practice and charging people atm is really scary and I'm experiencing Imposter Syndrome big time! Comforting to know it's not just me and some useful techniques to try and overcome it.
Wow! I'm no alone. Thank you for this.
thank you so much. 'you can choose' is so beautiful and freeing 🙏🏻
Nice to see you again☺️ I love your video’s and they really help me in my process to become a better therapist and developing my own “style”. I’m happy that you have a lot of video’s and sometimes I watch them twice or more. Still it is good to see a new video, also to see that you are doing well. Love from the Netherlands!
Thank you so much!! Much needed and much appreciated 🙏
Thank you Ian! I so very much appreciate hearing these perspectives from someone I admire and consider intelligent and successful.
I've watched a few of your videos this morning. You are therapeutic to say the least. Thanks for the peaceful vibe.
Thank you for this! I really did think I was the only one that struggled with this. Seeing LMTs that have been practicing for a lot longer then me, and knowing that they too deal with this really makes me think about my thoughts differently. I always appreciate you!
Thank you so much for this video. It is so timely and relevant to what I'm feeling these days. So appreciate it.
I hope the book sales are going good and you are having good days. I hope to see more videos from you please. You are the best teacher for me. I truly appreciate the time you put into it.
Great video, I’m always looking for massage discussion videos or podcasts. The “fixer” situation is what gets me, even wondering if I’ve really helped them at all. Great to see content like this!
Thank you for posting this. Very helpful! I appreciate your honesty.
I’m grateful for this video. Today especially, because it’s helping me cope with my own issues.
Thank you for posting this!! I'm a massage student and anxious introvert type and this hit so many topics that I was afraid nobody else was experiencing. Your vids are amazing, can't wait to attend your ce workshops in the fall. Thank you for sharing your craft and thoughts!
Thank you for talking about this! Happy I’m not alone
Thank you for sharing this, simply seeing the topic and knowing that a veteran MT experiences doubt too made me feel better!
Thank you for posting this. I often go though this especially as a newer therapist
trying to get up and running during all of this and having not worked outside of clinic since last year due to a move, waiting on licenses, and then covid..... this is so helpful thank you
You are compassionate and clear in communication. I live alone and I have nobody to help me when I m in pain . Your tips to do self massage have helped me help myself sometimes.
I needed to hear this today!!! Thank you so much.. I love all your videos you are amazing!!
I totally appreciate you massage sloth
Thank you! Words of love and wisdom.
I keep coming back to this video, it is very helpful. Thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It doesn't matter how many years you have been doing this, these feelings can be overwhelming. You are so helpful. I am grateful.
Beautiful work. So present and mindful. Would love more stuff like this. Thank you for delving into the nitty gritty and getting real with us🙏🏻
Agreed my favourite video of his!
Thank you so much for this video! I needed to hear all of this! Great information!
Ian, i found your page while I was in massage school. Any success I have as a massage therapist is, in a large part, due to your instruction!
That's really cool to hear, happy to have helped!
Thank you! This was so helpful in so many ways.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and being vulnerable ❤ what a beautiful, compassionate and insightful video - with a wonderful meditation, to finish. Many blessings to you 🙏💗
Thank you for sharing about imposter syndrome. I have taught A&P for many years and my performance anxiety and IS has accompanied me to every class I teach. It even keeps me from seeking more knowledge and experience in my field. I’m actually going to take a year of leave from teaching to focus on massage therapy work. I’m feeling motivated to pursue further education and experiences through my active massage practice and bodywork community that I can bring with me into the classroom if I choose to return.
Something I'd like to point out (and something that I should mention in a future video) is that I ALWAYS refresh my anatomy knowledge prior to videos, and even prior to teaching classes. You should see me frantically scanning wikipedia, radiopaedia, and physiopedia when it's time to talk about any given structure (even muscles I think I know pretty well). And it's funny how, every time, I learn something new, or find a dozen rabbit holes to go down. In other words: We'll never know everything, and nobody really expects us to. When I was in massage school I really appreciated the teachers who could turn the structure and function of the body into a story, something that I could digest. If you're doing that, you're doing great.
@@MassageSloth Thanks for the encouragement!
I’ve been an MT for 2.5 years. Sometimes I also have doubts if I’m good enough.
All my clients always tell me they feel great after. Even other MT’s have told me I’m really good when I first started.
My doubts come when I’m working on my clients. Wondering to myself if I’m even really helping them. All my clients always tell me I’ve given them the best massage. It’s still hard to feel confident during some sessions where I couldn’t help other clients feel better. I know I can’t help everyone. There’s still a lot I have to learn. I enjoy watching your videos to learn.
I always explain to my clients that a slow massage can be more affective than consistently beating a muscle.
Thanks for this video. Especially during these hard times.
I hear you. Just realize that a lot of it is out of our hands: Our work will mesh well with some people, while others will prefer other styles, or get more benefit from different approaches. That doesn't mean you need to change (though it never hurts to get more tools in your toolbox), it just means that over time you'll find more and more clients who love your style and who benefit from it greatly, while others who are looking for something else will filter away and find THEIR massage therapist. We can't be everything to everyone, and trying to spread ourselves thin like that can be stressful and unsatisfying. Instead, I say keep doing what you do, keep refining and improving, keep searching for new ways to connect and create a therapeutic space, but otherwise don't worry when some clients fall away or need to be referred elsewhere. It's all part of the process. And it sounds like you're doing great 🙂
I always find it impressive to see how massage therapists/estheticians have the same issues and interests. I find myself ruminating a lot in general and am always stuck in self doubt. It’s like I’m always expecting the high of a client saying it was the best massage of their life and when a client comes back, that’s when I get performance anxiety because they really liked the massage. I’ve been an MT for 4 years now and have a good clientele, but I always feel like I can learn more and help more. It’s funny I’ve started telling myself “you’re doing your best” every massage so that I can avoid rethinking of my work when I’m done. I find that what helps is changing my environment from time to time like my music, essential oils, using different balms on clients and it makes me feel more in the moment 💕 Watching your educational videos and changing up my moves helps too 😊
I've never been able to talk about this with anyone before. Thank you for this video. And all your work 👍😄
Thank you for sharing this. It is exactly what I experiance.
This video is very helpful, I've been feeling about this self-doubt situation for a while. I really appreciate that you sharing this. Thank you so much.
Curious if i was the only one that dealt with this. Much love to you for making this video, you are amazing.~
Thank you so much! I really needed this ❤️
Dude...I’ve been dealing with imposter syndrome for 13 years and just discovered what it was yesterday..then your video popped up! Glad I'm not alone!
Man this was amazing!!!!! Thank u for this video. I have been dealing with this sooooo much.
Thank you for this video. This is helpful, even for non-massage therapists.
Thank you for sharing this, I really needed it ❤️
Thanks so much for your video Ian...so great to feel you honesty and authenticity and ability to validate things we all deal with in such an empathetic way. So grateful to have found your work and be mentored by you on my massage therapy journey 🙏😊 Thank you from New Zealand
Thank you so much!
These videos help immensely. Every single one. Thank you so much for all the work you do and the transparency that comes with it. Whole heartedly, thank you.
Happy to help!
Thank you so much for making these videos! Being an MT during COVID I feel this to my core... thank you for showing me I am not alone and not to give up
Keep it up, and if you need changes in your work environment, be a squeaky wheel! Also feel free to join us on the forum for support :) Search "massage sloth clubhouse" on Facebook if you're on that platform.
This was so helpful to hear. Thank you 🙏
Big BIG thanx to YOU for THIS! 🤘😎
thank you. i really needed this.
I’m not a massage therapist but I’m starting my own business in a completely unrelated field and this video has helped me so much
What a good meditation and pretty hilarious that you casually peaced out after lol
I had to pause the video and just say that you're a lovable person Ian, thanks for all the love and work you're doing for others and for yourself!
That's an awfully nice thing to say ☺ Thank you!
Wow!! Thank you very much for this video. Thank you for explain the imposter syndrome for sure!! I think that is a tendency I have as well as the reminattion. When I started this video my thought was. That is what makes you a great massage therapist!! The beating ourselves up and negative self thought is most definitely not good but the positive side if these feelings are that (for me anyways) it always makes me strive to do more and be better. I Have had these exact thoughts for sure!! Most of the times the client says that was the best massage I had given them ??? Lol. Having the clients tell me that still hasn't really stopped those thoughts and fears. Thanks again for the video!!
Yooooo……this is a valuable video. Like…. I just got a free powerful therapy session. You’re a blessing for this lmt I’ll tell you that! You completely redshifted my focus. I resonate with every single thing you said and I’m recognizing I have veered off path! Awareness what a beautiful thing!
Thank you for posting this. It makes me feel a LOT better. I appreciate you!
So glad to hear it!
Thank you so much for this video. I watched it last night, but felt I had to come back to say something more. Your gentle humor, vulnerability, and the specific strategies you share to help with imposter syndrome and negative self talk is so much appreciated. I will keep this video in mind during my future sessions. Thanks again
Much appreciated, Kayla!
This is exactly what I needed, thank you
great video thank you. All of this makes sense
Thank you SO much!! I just started my self employment journey and have been struggling with waking up every morning with wretched anxiety...I really needed this
I hear you! If you'd like to talk it out, come join us at our closed forum (search "Massage Sloth Clubhouse" on Facebook). Keep putting one foot in front of the other, you're going to do great.
I relate! Thank you so much for this video, it was very helpful :)
Ian, in another life, you and I must have been kindred spirits. Thank you for this!
Thanks man! Great post, right on time! London greets you🙂
I enjoy your videos so much as an almost graduated student in massage school. I share your videos with my classmates. I love that I’m not alone in this imposter feeling that over takes me sometimes and I hate the feelings that can over take you while giving a massage. The anxiety that I have the day before I go back to school to see random clients and I’m being evaluated after each session, which is nerve racking enough lol. I love your honesty and that you would put yourself out there to be this raw with us about your own experiences and feelings. I apply a lot of what you show on your videos to my classmates at school and I love the slower pace and the teaching style you use. Your a calming person and a caring person and there’s no faking that. Thank you for what you do, don’t stop making your amazing videos and helping other massage therapist.
This is very kind of you, Ann Marie! While I'd love for your day-before-clinic anxiety to fade over time (and it will), next time that it springs up, see if you can regard it in this light: "This anticipatory anxiety is here because I care. And it's cool that I care." People who care deeply are the best massage therapists.
(I'm on a "try to see my brain's kind intentions when it's messing with me" kick, so now you have to be a part of that 😁). Keep up the good work, and thanks for dropping me this note!
I needed this more then you could ever know.
You read my mind!
Thank you for making this! I just got my 2200 hours but still a student and doing my practicum at a massage chain. I have so much anxiety about pressure or if they don't like the techniques or pace I use
Love this, thank you!
I know this doesn't sound "logical", but I never would have thought that you doubt yourself. The mind is funny like that. Thank you for your content! I'm currently in school to become a LMT and I learn a lot from your videos.
Oh, I doubt myself a lot. Sometimes I'll doubt myself multiple times per second 😁 Enjoy massage school, there's nothing like it!
I'm almost done with massage school and i cannot thank you enough for all the extra techniques and knowledge ive gained from you. You were my little secret from my classmates for a bit aahhaa but now i've finally exposed them to the greatness of massage sloth👍
Haha happy to help, and thanks for the in-person shoutout ☺
Perfect timing for this post. Thank you
Agreed
Serendipitous timing
OMG THIS. I almost quit my first job out of school over this. My boss keeps saying "I haven't received one complaint, in fact I hear otherwise..and yet I do the SAME self talk "They think this is the worst massage EVER!!"
Thank you for addressing it!!
that was really good you should do more of these guide meditations. I get the negative chatter and intrusive thoughts when giving massage sometimes too
I didn't make it through the whole video but I definitely needed this. I just finished school and yet I still feel uneducated and under qualified. I'm still trying to find my technique and style and I'm experiencing a ton of doubt!
I needed this! Especially right now. I do this. I am an esthetician (2yr program so it was more in depth) and have been in the field and massaging for 9yrs. I work with RMT's and others that make me feel like I'm not a therapist. "I just do nails" which is 1000% not true. That doesn't help the negativity that creeps up into my mind and you are right. I haven't had a moment where my dark thoughts were true. It's the opposite. In fact I keep being told that I should go for being a full out RMT. I had nooo idea that this was an actual thing though. I thought it was just me being silly. When I think I am crappy and the client is hating their massage, I try to 'connect' with them more through visual meditation. I imagine their chakras. I imagine energy passing through my hands and suddenly my massage just feels in tune somehow. It's like I refuse to let them leave feeling like they've had a crappy massage. As strange as it is, I just feel like if I connect on a deeper level everything will be okay! Thank you SO much for this video. May Karma come back to you 3 fold! -heart-
Man, that bugs me that anyone is treating the massage you do as anything other than "real" massage. I've always wanted to sit down with an esthetician or two and learn their secrets for face and hand massage, because you're specialists! I'm over here trying to do everything at once, and you're refining techniques for the hands for years! I'd love to tap into that knowledge. Anyway, keep it up, and I like the idea of switching to a visual meditation. It sounds like a great way of getting out of the thought loops and immersing yourself into the experience at hand!
Oh, and if you ever want to start a demonstration channel to teach your secrets, I'll help you get started 😁
I feel bad that you ever doubt yourself. You are a constant source of inspiration & knowledge for many of us. You are so lovely. Thank you for being you & sharing the way you do💕 (fyi...strictly equine massage here🦄)
I appreciate you, Angelica 🤗
You are the reason I started making CZcams videos. I had soooo much doubt about doing it. I literally agonized over it for months.
But I’m doing it. I still have days where I have to talk myself into to doing it. Going over notes, making sure I have enough anatomy notes, trying not to talk too fast, or talk too long (I’m an over explainer as you can see).
Anyway, thank for sharing some of your behind the scenes and some tips to people through it.
I think we all like to know that it is okay to be racked with doubt.
wow, thank you, so much
Thank you so much for posting this Ian! I’m in my first year of practice and have been struggling with self doubt a lot lately, personally and professionally. It’s so nice to know you’re not alone.
One tip for accessing affordable counseling is to google “affordable counseling” in your area. Often you can get sliding scale services from advanced student counselors. I’ve had great experiences with this, for $20-$25/hr!
If that doesn’t yield results, call universities in your area that train counselors and ask about their sliding scale student clinic. I’ve also gotten cheap couples counseling this way, we each paid $15 per session.
Omg thank you for talking about this. I tried to talk about this with my colleagues... But they seemed uncomfortable with the topic, I just dropped it and felt like maybe I should change careers or something.
Ur voice is amazingly soothing