7 Biggest Struggles of Dating Someone from Another Culture
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- čas přidán 31. 05. 2024
- Today's video is all about cross-cultural relationships. What attracts us to other cultures. What top struggles we might face when dating someone from another culture. What can we do to make this process a little easier. Are you in a relationship with someone from abroad?
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0:00 Culture clash anecdote
1:10 My culture specific guides
1:56 Why we are drawn to other cultures?
2:20 The exotic factor
2:43 Stereotypical qualities
3:30 Pop culture
3:51 Sense of belonging
4:50 Challenge #1: Gender roles
5:07 Gender role anecdote: Persian vs Norwegian
6:11 Challenge #2: Affection
7:05 Affection anecdote: Brazilian vs Japanese
7:47 Challenge #3: Individualist vs collectivist
9:52 Challenge #4: Planning vs spontaneity
10:55 Challenge #5: Direct vs indirect
11:46 Communication anecdote: Brazilian vs Dutch
12:26 Challenge #6: Emotional vs rational
13:55 Jealousy
14:40 Jealousy anecdote: Turkish vs Swiss
15:27 Personal space
16:06 Marriage vs co-living together
16:22 How can you deal with these issues? - Zábava
Im a filipino male married to a Lebanese/Armenian lady from Sweden. Our cultures are somewhat similar. Been married for 19yrs. It's an odd pairing since most Lebanese girls don't marry outside their cultures.
As an American with a Norwegian girlfriend but have dates a Swede, lemme tell ya 😂😂 You’re spot on, but I respect it and love it. It’s odd shutout works for us, I’m typical American; gregarious and super extroverted and handle all of the talking, appointments and reminders of “Sir, her steak is over cooked…” 🤭 She makes sure we’re on time, hyper organized and meticulously structured.
I’m as southern as the day is long, drawl and all, so manners are king; “yes ma’am, no ma’am, yes sir, no sir..”, opening doors, pulling chairs and giving her my jacket if it’s raining or she gets cold. I love every second of it
I’m so glad you made this, as too many folks see the “sexy” side of dating other cultures, but man, there’s A LOT of nuance and other things that can break both of you if you’re not careful and deliberate in your learning how to love him/her. It works for us 🇺🇸 🇳🇴🙌🏽
Yes exactly. I think a lot of times we are drawn to the sexy side of another culture but a relationship with them shows us we have too many incompatibilities to make it work.
I'm dating a Mexican man, and I absolutely love how he pulls out the chair and opens the doors for me. I'm a Canadian-Asian, but I definitely appreciate how he treats me. I love his family values and protectiveness. 😊
I met a Belgian (from the French side)guy online here in NY and when I expected to meet just him, it was him and his friend at the bar, and his friend stayed with us the rest of the night. He said he would take me to lunch the following day, and surprise, his friend was also there too. Luckily I enjoyed his friend. However, when he didn't try kiss me, which is something most guys try to do, I was a bit disappointed. The next day he wanted us all to go out again and we spent every day together (when I wasn't working). I was wondering if I was in the friendzone. We did meet on a dating app, which would have beeen misleading on his part. However, when we went to a concert he finally made a move and held me close. We continue to get to know each other everyday, he is good at keeping in touch. I read up if this was crazy behavior to hang out as a group, not to be kissed. The answer is yes. Its pretty normal to do have friends be introduced early to those they date. Learning that kissing is a major step in their culture, where it isn't in America, as a sign of commitment. It made me understand that I was in a rush to make it all happen fast. He isn't. We will be spending more time together soon. Hopefully with no friends and more kissing. Yes it is a good idea to know how people court in their culture because they will do things differently.
It's rude to write "NY" thinking everybody knows what the crap this is. To anyone who doesn't, it means Not Yankee.
@@MrAbrazildo how obtuse of you. Get a dictionary
@MrAbrazildo it's means New York 😅
I am Latina and was with a Swedish man for 14 years, and we have a child. I don't think I'd want another Swede. Think twice before committing to someone from a very different culture.
You are absolutely correct 💯💯. The problems that you are having, I have as well.
i've been thinking about this topic recently and its amazing how clear you're able to articulate cross culture dating
Thank you!
Also I’m an Asian American born in the US and my wife is from Eastern Europe (Bosnia)
@@Wooist How's the relationship going? I'm also from Bosnia :)
@@tarik6990 we just got married recently and I was just came back from Bosnia 🇧🇦 for our family celebration 2 weeks ago !!! Bosnians are great 🙂
@@Wooist Čestitam!
Toronto guy here….. trust me it is fun to date outside your comfort zone
Cross-cultural communication video yes please! and I LOVE Your Content So Much!!! Can't wait for the culture-specific guides ♥
Thank you!!!
Great video. I think people should be mindful about their partners cultures. Also I guess the key for some people, is to try and date cultures that might be similar to yours, or a culture you personally would like to assimilate to as well.
Yes 🙌
It's hard for me.
My father is German, my mother Romanian. The difference between those 2 countries is like day and night.
But I prefer dating someone who's attitude is similar to Romania.
Like Colombia recently. I visited that country and fell in love with its people, attitude, nature, food, music,...
And sometimes I felt like I was in Romania when I was around the people or when I saw the beautiful landscape of theirs.
Well done you Marina..you explained everything in detail..Your videos help us to know other cultures very well..
Aw thanks so much! I love this topic 😁
One of your best videos. So well done! I'm kind of American but have lived (and dated) all over the world. This is the best explanation I've ever seen.
Thank you! That means so much
You always hit on the nail Marina, thank you again.
Yay!
Having done business in 25 countries and been in another 15 for personal reasons, I can relate to everything you have said in this video. Yes, cross cultural communication is critical. Please, create a video on that topic.
Thank you for your sharing of information.
You are welcome 🤗
I enjoyed this video so much and can relate to and agree with all your insights here, which are so wonderfully articulated and put forward in a very neutral way. More people need to see your content. Thank you ❤️
Thank you! I am so happy you liked it. It was a lot of information so I feel like I ran through it 😂
@DatingBeyondBorders No, not at all. It's such a huge topic and you covered the various aspects well :)
Super interesting topic and would love to know more! I also liked that you touched on the fact that not all feel like they belong to the culture they grew up in. Would be interesting to hear your perspective on that, or in interviews with people. ❤️
I second this, coz it's my case as well. I don't feel belonging anywhere and to anyone.
Yep, same here. Growing up in Germany under a german father and romanian mother. But I already felt as a child that I might want to emigrate one day bcz I can't see myself acting like a "real German" by 100%.
Yes that is interesting 🤔 will keep it in mind
@@einunbekannter498 yeah, I feel like nobody recognize or talk about this. You can truly find your place in the world if you discover more cultures. Even though I of course have many typical Swedish traits as a Swedish person, I did find a place that could match good with my non- Swedish traits as well as my Swedish traits 🙌
My favorite video so far. Loved it!
Yesss 🤗
I really love your videos, it’s makes me more aware of why some of date don’t work. Because of your videos I can now search partners that fit me better!
Happy to hear ☺️
Love your videos! I look forward to the UK dating guide. ☺
Coming.. eventually! 😄
What I would like to see on this channel is a video about skin color and dating from other countries and how it impacts their lives and relationships, if any, due to the racial cultural stigma .
Fantastic Video. I believe that another video is required.
Ok will definitely consider that. Thanks!
@@DatingBeyondBorders You touched on a lot of things that people don't think about when dating outside their culture.
That video is already a classic! It could be a TED Talk. Thanks for such a summary!
Can you now email TED talks and tell them about me? 🤣 But you just inspired me to apply
this is a very professional analysis!... shout out!!!!!
Thanks!!
About Dutch weddings: obviously there is also usually a group of guests who stay for the entire event, ceremony, reception, dinner, etc. These tend to be close family and friends. But an aunt or cousin who you've barely spoken to for two years? People from work? Why would they want to even stay for the party? You invite them for the ceremony and then let them get on with their day.
It should also be noted that gifts aren't expected or customary at our weddings, so it's not like you're asking someone to drop off a €200 dinnerware set and then F off.
Happy Friday, Marina! As an American 🇺🇲 born of Colombian 🇨🇴 and Honduran 🇭🇳 heritage, I usually prefer dating European women and Latina women although both types have different personalities. My personality is more easy going, go with the flow type and the last few women I have dated have been Europeans as my last girlfriend was a Spanish 🇪🇸 woman but I personally think that dating women from other cultures is a good eye opener to me as it's good to learn about other cultures and backgrounds. If we vibe, we vibe and if we don't vibe, we don't. I do like a feminine woman. This is a great video Marina and sending my love ❤
If you are ever back in Miami in the future, dinner is on me Marina 😊
"European" is very broad. Have you learned nothing from watching this channel?
it’s the same things with Cubans in Cuba and Cubans living in foreign countries they love is stereotypical things on different people and also it happens in Latin Americans and Caribbean countries with other Latin America and Caribbean countries that will use the stereotypical against each other.
Thanks John 🙂
Great overview Marina ❤
Thank you so much!
This "guide" will totally take away the surprise and the pleasure to get to know each other's culture. The process is enchanting. Of course for Marina it's business and she's trying to make you think otherwise.. my mum is Brazilian and in the 60s there already existed mixed couples. One of her friends was married to a Japanese. It's all about communication in the couple. You don't need a guide.
Oh you are more than welcome to keep it a surprise if you want. But a lot of people struggle when moving to another country and it helps to know where to meet people or any cultural quirks to expect. I always say that you shouldn't lose your identity to try to accomodate any culture so that can be the risk with knowing too much, but better be prepared in any case.
I really love this video, informative and accurate. Of course you had to talk about stereotypes and generalizations but without being offensive or disrespectful. Wonderful
Thank you! That means a lot
Awesome video Marina. So much information condensed into such a short video.
And yes we do want a video exclusively about communication in couples with different cultures. Can u also do one about cheating? I remember u did one about it a while ago but just for some European countries i believe.
Thanks! Have been wanting to make a video on this for a while. I have also considered one about cheating. Might be tough to find up to date and accurate statistics but it would be interesting to chat about the way cheating is perceived around the world.
As a loser anywhere, women treated me universally as a loser :D
You're a King. Believe in Yourself.
Work towards it....
Don't think about yourself in this way. Btw, if you don't mind, may I ask wby, in what way you see yourself as a loser? Do u mean financially or aesthetically?
Please!! I need a cross-cultural communication video!! I'm brazilian and my boyfriend it's swiss. We have a a lot of communication problems with so much cultural differences... I loved this video ❤
Thank you and will work on it 🙂
I adore you ♥️ tysm for this video 🥹
Thanks!
I don't identify with most of the social norms in my culture (Iran) , but the emotional thing is spot on. I don't date Iranian women because generally the expectations they have, do not match what they can offer and what I value in a relationship.
But for me it's difficult to find someone since I want to show affection and emotions but it is considered unmanly unless I'm dating someone from similar cultures e.g latins. I'm currently in Germany and I think it's the worst possible place for a guy like me to try and date :)
Yes, I have a german father and a romanian mother.
And the difference between those 2 countries is as different as day and night.
In Germany I often hear if you show affection/emotions "too early" then you're "needy" or something. I don't like that. If I have sympathy or feelings for someone, why shouldn't I show that?
In Romania it's the opposite. We're not even talking about relationships yet over there, but the romanian people are always more social, emotional, friendlier and happier in general than the Germans.
Reconsider your thoughts. In Germany you have plenty of people with different foreign backgrounds who certainly don't act that german when it's about dating and realationships. Turkish, Polish, Czech, Romanian, Serbian, Albanian,...
Otherwise yes man, I agree. When it's about showing affection/emotions, especially in the beginning, I think it can be hard, but not impossible.
try to date a south european woman, they are very emotional and touchy but at the same time they are very independent, in Germany there are a lot italians ans spanish
This is educational for me to learn more about dating different women from all around the world. I met this person in college who is a female. I wonder if she is born in America or born from a different country. ☺️😳🤔
That was awesome
Interesting video
Unless the couple can work around each other's culture, that relationship has to be reconsidered.
I wish these videos had subtitles in other languages, so that I could show them to my wife (Colombian) and friends from other countries
I especially feel that "not feeling belonged to your own culture" part.
I'm the child of a german man and a romanian woman and grew up my whole life in Germany, Munich to be more precise.
I've only been to Romania during the holidays obviously.
I must say that I actually hated most of the time I living in Munich. The peoples mentality, mood and arrogance there was/is a pain in the ass and I think the experience there shaped my personality in a bad way.
Since then it's hard for me to be open for Germans at my age (both men and women) that have no foreign background.
On the other side I always could get along pretty well with foreigners in Germany, Romania or also Colombia recently.
And thus I see that the probability of being together with someone from Romania or Colombia e.g. is higher than being with someone from Germany.
I even prefer paying the bill, even though officially it's common to split it.
But I'd feel strange and uncomfortable when I'm not allowed to pay.
Most people I know never let me invite/pay for them. Not even the smallest things.
I’m Brazilian from the south, living and dating in Japan, and while my last girlfriend love PDA, my current one doesn’t as much. At times I do miss it, but I understand it and we kinda compromise in between. Behind close doors, Japanese girls are super affectionate though!
Now I can see how someone from Rio, as you mentioned, would struggle a lot more with this relationship dynamic!
(Btw, a lot of the German immigration in Brazil was not really related to WW2, it predates that)
I’m Mexican American (26 years old) and I currently live in Australia but I have travelled much of the world and I just to say that when it comes to dating and even meeting others it’s my Mexican culture that makes me click with people. It’s a beautiful experience as well cooking Mexican dishes and seeing the shock on people’s face when they hear me speak English and Spanish.
Consider using the phrase “emotionally expressive vs. emotionally restricted” rather than “emotional vs rational”. The former is more descriptive (just describing the behavior) while the latter is more evaluative (assigning meaning to the behavior through a cultural lens). Both parties have emotions but it’s really more a question of HOW emotions are expressed, not about being “emotional” vs. “rational”.
My father is German-Norwegian and my Mother is Mexican-Portuguese. They are complete opposites in pretty much everything (the way they think, act, etc.). They want to do everything completely different, don't agree on hardly anything... you get the picture. My father and his side of the family are introverted, very structured, plan everything, and do everything on-time. My mother's side is extroverted, unstructured, and usually don't keep definite plans or times for things, but they are fun.
Me, my sister, and my cousins are all mixed-race. Some of us are more like the German-Norwegian-Dutch side, and others more like the Mexican-Portuguese side. I fall into the group who' s more introverted and likes to plan and do things on-time. I've learned that I can't do what my parents do. The people I date have to be the more introverted, planned, doing things on-time personality and life-style type, and their family needs to be that way too or it just won't work for me. But, it works for my parents somehow, because they love each other, do things for each other, and always make each other laugh. So, I guess they prove that "opposites attract" for some people 😊
I’m a Swedish man. Now I understand the reason why I’m unable to find love in my country. Completely agree with this..
Why?
Yes Mexican decent and my first date was with an Irish girl and she was shocked because I treated her like a lady
İt is weird that some women find normal gestures not normal..
She's lucky and she doesn't realize 🤔
Make her some birria tacos and she urs forever...lol
@@5566letslearnEnglishNo, it's sad.
@@5566letslearnEnglish "normal" in your culture, but not on other cultures
3:35
As an Asian American guy in the US, the past 2 years or so of me dating has basically seen me end up with one of the 3 categories:
1. fans of anime
2. fans of K Pop and K drama
3. Theater/Lord of Ring fans/tends to be bisexual too
There are overlaps with all 3, but generally, I found the girls in category 3 to be the most normal in terms of their interests.
I'm looking forward to doing my master's in Europe. The girls I connected with in Europe for some reason just seem way more varied in interest compared to the American ones I met online.
Edit: when I say online, I meant dating apps. People I met in real life are generally more normal.
i am a chinese guy who has lived in 10 countries including 3 years in the usa. i think your problem is "dating apps". do some cold approach in chinatown or korean town and you will find many normal non-asian girls.
Filipino American, I married a girl from Sweden. Resided in Sweden for a bit. Really never intended to marry someone from there but things just happen for the better good.
@@aaron4848 True. True. I don't believe in cold approaches. I rather just do things I like and meet people normally that way.
Also... True. when I was dating my barista for a bit, it was decent for the little bit it lasted.
@@Joe-eg7ml nice!
Obviously Europeans aren't ONLY good, it depends on the person. But I found the way they communicate in Germanic countries to be way better
lmao poor guy, I can just imagine the types in category 1 and 2. I mean, I'm sure they're fine people, but anime nerds can be a bit much even when you don't need to worry that they're fetishizing you for looking vaguely like Goku or whatever.
Then again, imagine what Asian girls go through with male weebs...
Absolutely when i was in latam i didnt like paying for the date everytime was annoying
Спасибо за прекрасное видео! Мне кажется все эти темы полезно обсуждать не только в мультикультурных но и вобще в любых отношениях. И чем раньше тем лучше.
Rada chto ponravilos! Budu prodoljat ☺️
4:16 I'm Brazilian, from SP. The "who pays the bill" in my social circle is still the man. Not because we are poor girls needing a man, struggling, or whatever... it's just being polite. I'm 31 and to be honest I feel insulted when a man wants to split the bill, which just started to happen recently, btw, and very rarely. Even at a young age, in my early teens, hanging out with friends after school, the boys always "provided" for the girls. And when I say provide I mean: they used to pick us at home, walk us to our house... I would say they are very protective? Even my dad said to me once: "don't pay for the boys, never"...
So growing up in this enviorement when the boys were always protective, worried, when I split the bill I just feel "yeah, not the right person"... it's def not for the money and it happens with friends, too. You don't need to be on a date, if you have a close friend, he is likely to pay the bill.
I'll give you an example, real thing: couple months ago I got reconnected to a friend and he messaged me inviting me to go to a bar, I wasn't sure, and he said: "send me your adress, I'm sending you an uber", we went to the bar, we had some drinks, we went to his place to drink more, nothing happened, I slept over there because we were drunk... next day I woke up and there was a message of him "I needed to go out to pick my daughter, please let me know when you wake up so I can book you an uber". And I know him since I was 16y old. That's how "proper men" behave in Brazil. I didn't need the uber, I ordered myself, but that's how men take care of us. Unfortunelly in the recent years there are some girls using the good will of men.
That being said I should say that I grew up in a privileged group, went to private school, the people are more conservative, so this is my small bubble.
Um verdadero cavalheiro. Saudaçoes do Perú, com muita enveja
That's exactly 💯 how it always should be.
@@amiquigonzales7917 hehehe e veja que eu disse que ficamos "borrachos".
Por favor tem auto respeito, ninguem problem com dinheiro
Your sexual market value has been lowered, especially you're now in your 30s. If you were ugly when you were young this reality you're living now would have happened sooner.
Some are touching on it in the comments, but another dynamic is a culture within a culture. Particularly in US and Canada, everyone is from somewhere; a Mexican-American or Chinese-Canadian. Some retain cultural traditions more than others, some are more influenced by one over the other. In my case, an American Jew, living in a state heavily settled by Northern Europeans, the culture is stoic, private, and non-confrontational, while the Jewish People are the other end of the spectrum. Then, being a less than 0.2% minority in the state, I have very little contact with my own ethnic group. So, if I meet a Jewish girl from the UK (for example), there would be the entire set of national cultural similarities and differences, yet within the same ethnic culture.
This is probably true with any nation or group of people who have experienced some sort of displacement or diaspora to far flung corners of the globe. ie: jews, roma (gypsies), or people of African descent in the Americas. There will be plenty of nuance between us, but there will be cultural ties that connect us despite the distance and time spent apart
A little correction to 6:36 min.: the first Germans immigrated to Brasil in 1824.They were no nazi descendants.
Of course... Germans, Italians, Turks, Spaniard citizens started to immigrate to Brazil in the XIXth century, and more came in the XXth century along with other nationalities, mainly because of wars. There were no nazis in the first wave of German immigrants in 1824 ! Back then Brazil was still a Portuguese colony..
I mean yeah you're right but yeah, Marina Is so much more right.
I have Questions I’m from Ethiopia and I’m dating Mexican women but I want to know more about Mexico dating from Africa?
I think there are many differences inside the USA between the Northern and Southern States. Regardless of their ethnic background, the Southern men tend to be more protecting, caring and romantic and they generally have no hesitation to show their feelings, whether it is love, affection, friendship, caring and also the opposite. If they dislike you, you "feel" it. On the other hand, Norherns are more introverted and "self-controlling" and for this they may appear more "cold" and emotionally detached
Gender roles are outdated (like chaperone or dowry), don't force people to stick to it if they don't want to.
Spontaneity looks fun, but in the long run planning is more efficient.
Indirect speech is very likely leads to misunderstanding. Direct is NOT equal rude.
Emotions usually give bad advices, rationality seldom.
Only an insecure person is jealous, and jealousy poisons relationships.
Personal space is important, you cannot be together 24/7.
Marriage is getting outdated, but the "I find an other one when I got bored with this one" method is the real problem.
Guide for psychopaths(that don't want to lie) would be hilarious.
I want to visit some eastern countries and meet some people there. I feel like I won't find a partner in Brazil.
love italian guys haha
Have you watch the movie “The Lobster” (2015)? That’s dating in Sweden in a nutshell. You have been warned.
0:38 idk about gender roles but in my opinion he was being a gentlemen 🤷😅
can you do how is dating in gay world? Is very interesting ❤
This is F A N T A S T I C
Thank you! Have been wanting to make a video on this topic for a while
@@DatingBeyondBorders I see that this kind of content Is More fulfilling for you and to be honest I hope there's more of this anthopological work
This makes for a good argument against intermixing
I wish these videos had subtitles in other languages, so that I could show them to my wife (Colombian) and friends from other countries
When you are authist, everyone looks, rather than from another culture, more like from another planet.
I like swiss girl
I’ve suffered racism from the females in my country and that’s what has pushed me forward to follow your channel and thinking seriously about finding a girl from other countries
Which country are you from?
it’s the same things with Cubans in Cuba and Cubans living in foreign countries they love is stereotypical things on different people and also it happens in Latin Americans and Caribbean countries with other Latin America and Caribbean countries that will use the stereotypical against each other.
Racism from women in your country? Where are you from?
@@DatingBeyondBorders I’m from Iraq, the females here extremely hate white men especially Blonde men. Blonde men that prefer blonde girls have little chance but blonde men who like brunettes have almost zero chance to get accepted. This situation is getting worse by time because our girls have copy paste preferences and they consider dark men as trend and more masculine than white men and also the other reason they have xenophobia towards western world (Blonde man is an icon of western world)
@@siddharthtripathi5806 Iraq
Germans are very emotional and the can feel entitled to shout at you, they are not very rational, and they are very dramatic in some aspects, but be friendly is something very difficult for them
I have definitely seen emotionally angry Germans.. and very happy (but usually when they drink!)
@@DatingBeyondBorders that's nasty
Hör auf die deutschen schlecht zu machen 😂
@@Julia-kg5vu I did not say something wrong
It can't be said about everyone! 😂😅
Been called a macho by a girl is such an compliment for me
HOW how on earth the Brazilian 🇧🇷 guy managed to get into a relationship with a Japanese 🇯🇵 woman ?
The culture difference is beyond huge.
Japanese and Jewish, are large migrant groups in Latin America..
it's pretty normal in brazil actually
@@Jean-rg9zg They might be descent of Japaneses, but they are Brazilians. We share our culture.
😂 Im a Indian man But I never dated a Indian girl in my whole life. I dated all women are European girls
Guy wants to do something nice for his girlfriend and she shits on him for being too manly.
Solution: Get new girlfriend
He has one now 😂
STAY WITHIN YOUR RACE
😅
So... humans? You got it.
It's a utopia to outlaw mixed marriages, you'll never control whom should marry whom.
@@woutertron Humans have different races. It wouldn’t kill you to learn something about biology, but you knew that
@@woutertron there are uncompatibilites to biological mix some races, that lead to big problems in the "individual" formed, on every matter. People play mixing as if it is a game, like to play something, is not at all.
it’s the same things with Cubans in Cuba and Cubans living in foreign countries they love is stereotypical things on different people and also it happens in Latin Americans and Caribbean countries with other Latin America and Caribbean countries that will use the stereotypical against each other.
From 🇧🇷 and I can confirm; in a relationship we want to share 2 bodies and 1 soul 🥹