Why Japan's Samurai Were Nothing Like You Think - Hilarious Helmet History

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  • čas přidán 24. 08. 2017
  • Let's talk about Japan's samurai! Not the honorable Tom Cruises, but the actual ... well ... just watch and learn because apparently literally everyone was a samurai -- from stuffy nobility to probably gross pirates.
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Komentáře • 3,2K

  • @frogg5949
    @frogg5949 Před 5 lety +334

    According to my definitely correct source, The LEGO NINJAGO movie, you are incorrect

    • @retardcorpsman
      @retardcorpsman Před 4 lety +13

      The meatball man is inevitable.
      Your intelligence is unmatched,

    • @Rex-golf_player810
      @Rex-golf_player810 Před 3 lety +10

      This is what weebs sound like when they use anime as historical information

    • @rjh1909
      @rjh1909 Před 3 lety +5

      Thanks for exposing this man for his bullshido

    • @kaiserblader2129
      @kaiserblader2129 Před 2 lety +1

      This a joke but yh right if take it correct.

    • @marlenegalliot1858
      @marlenegalliot1858 Před 2 lety +1

      😂

  • @GavinSeim
    @GavinSeim Před 3 lety +140

    Came here after starting ghost of tsushima, turns out they were all acting like... Humans

    • @sanjayraju988
      @sanjayraju988 Před 3 lety +13

      Gavin Seim Yeah, the game is an exaggeration. The Samurais were ... humans, not overly honourable legends like they are in the game.

    • @arminius504
      @arminius504 Před 3 lety +2

      @Soulwalker Young there used to be a time where samurais liked to kill random peasants as a sport so it had to be forbidden xD.

    • @Stoopkidd302
      @Stoopkidd302 Před 2 lety

      Same, I first wanted to make Jin look more historically accurate and then I got really interested in the history in general

  • @lazygizmo
    @lazygizmo Před 6 lety +27

    Never realized how awesome learning about history was, it's basically a study of humanity through the course of time. The more you study history the more you know about yourself and the culture your in.

    • @iambicpentakill971
      @iambicpentakill971 Před rokem

      It's crazy how the educational system manages to make history boring (along with whitewashing bullshit so those in power don't look bad).

  • @JackofWhitechapel
    @JackofWhitechapel Před 3 lety +39

    "Oh well, movies are dead. Read a book. Bye!" That's great.

  • @NewGuy1414
    @NewGuy1414 Před 6 lety +883

    Holy shit! Nobunaga had a black samurai!? The fuck Japan how many fucking anime's have you made about Nobunaga and none of them have the black guy!?

    • @LuckyBastard12345
      @LuckyBastard12345 Před 6 lety +28

      NewGuy1414 Well Nioh had Yasuke as a boss

    • @metatron4890
      @metatron4890 Před 6 lety +14

      NewGuy1414 He was a slave to Portuguese and he left Japan as a slave when he left Japan.
      Why make an anime of that?

    • @dragonstory15
      @dragonstory15 Před 6 lety +75

      Meta tron No he was not. He was a free man in Japan and no one even knows if he left Japan, there are no reliable sources of his death.

    • @Yvaelle
      @Yvaelle Před 6 lety +77

      Right? How is there not an Afro Samurai guarding Oda Nobunaga anime? That writes itself. (I'm mostly picturing another season of Samurai Champloo now that I think about it)

    • @Mrzifaru
      @Mrzifaru Před 6 lety +12

      go watch/read hyouge mono and nobunaga kyousoukyoku, yasuke is in there, and actually don't watch nobunaga kyousoukyoku anime, many content cutted.

  • @Fullmetal1890P
    @Fullmetal1890P Před 6 lety +1332

    So basically, Samurai Champloo was way more accurate than we thought.

    • @s.s3090
      @s.s3090 Před 6 lety +19

      Fullmetal1890P 😂

    • @wolfhaleymoefoe5848
      @wolfhaleymoefoe5848 Před 6 lety +48

      Fullmetal1890P love samurai champloo 😭

    • @horricule451
      @horricule451 Před 6 lety +56

      Minus the over-the-top action that is physically and anatomically impossible, yes.

    • @I_am_a_cat_
      @I_am_a_cat_ Před 6 lety +2

      So basically, no.

    • @kameshimayama2195
      @kameshimayama2195 Před 6 lety +78

      Sturmbunker18 the fact that you can't spell the word 'storm' and you have a british colonial interloper flag as your profile pic speaks volumes about your ignorance, as does your comment. Yasuke was the name that Oda Nobunaga gave to an african slave who was brought to japan in service of Portuguese or Dutch jesuit missionaries - most likely because his real name contained sounds that the native Japanese tongue has difficulty making. When Oda Nobunaga, heard about him, he was convinced his black skin was ink or dye of some kind, and requested Yasuke be brought before him and asked to scrub his skin vigorously to prove that it was his genuine skin color, which the japanese had never seen prior to him. When Nobunaga determined it was in fact not a hoax, he became even more interested in Yasuke due in part to his unheard of large stature and the fact that he was said by Nobunaga himself to possess the strength of ten men. The Oda clan made Yasuke a formal bushi retainer (ie samurai) and he fought alongside Nobunaga until Nobunaga was defeated. Instead of being executed or held prisoner, Yasuke was supposedly turned back over to the Jesuit missionaries and that's where his documented story ends. But don't take my word for it; do the research yourself, educate your ignorant colonist ass.

  • @de-stresschiropractic
    @de-stresschiropractic Před 5 lety +84

    LOVE the reference to 'Humans'. Human behavior is kind of constant across the board.

    • @ryanswaynow
      @ryanswaynow Před 5 lety +4

      Very true. We as humans "constantly" suck

    • @maxnaz47
      @maxnaz47 Před 4 lety +1

      Just a shame we such extremes at either end...

  • @faelan1950
    @faelan1950 Před 6 lety +176

    Samurai was a social class, not an immediate label as 'warrior'

    • @spatiumettempus5118
      @spatiumettempus5118 Před 4 lety +8

      Right! They were equivalent to knights and barons.

    • @TheSchnut115
      @TheSchnut115 Před 4 lety +9

      Correct!
      You had to be born into the samurai class to be a samurai. One was not just simply made one.

    • @Duplicitousthoughtformentity
      @Duplicitousthoughtformentity Před 3 lety +2

      Jet Alone i think OP’s point was that the samurai weren’t JUST warriors, that is was also a societal class. I.E. how they were trained from youth, and studied philosophy and whatnot. I could be wrong though

    • @brayanrivera7215
      @brayanrivera7215 Před 3 lety +1

      @@TheSchnut115 tell that to mugen from samurai champloo

    • @akram8252
      @akram8252 Před 2 lety

      Is there a different between samurai and known swordsman like Miyamoto musashi or kojiro sasaki

  • @thijsjong
    @thijsjong Před 6 lety +1496

    Tom Cruise is not an actor. He plays Tom Cruise in every movie.

    • @dexking1
      @dexking1 Před 6 lety +24

      thijsjong this is true and it's glorious

    • @ikmnification5737
      @ikmnification5737 Před 6 lety +77

      I have to give him credit, he is great at playing Tom Cruise and making me believe the situation Tom Cruise is in.

    • @theScytheofGod
      @theScytheofGod Před 6 lety +7

      Damned right.

    • @232pk
      @232pk Před 6 lety +19

      And he really knows how to pick movies in which Tom Cruise fit's as a charactor.

    • @RenegadeShepard69
      @RenegadeShepard69 Před 6 lety +8

      At least it's always the character only he can portrait

  • @warhammernerd52Daxx-Lorenzo898

    "Other things that are characteristic of Humans, actual humans"
    That's actually very meaningful

    • @warhammernerd52Daxx-Lorenzo898
      @warhammernerd52Daxx-Lorenzo898 Před 6 lety +9

      You must be quite new here, welcome to the Interconnecting Net

    • @fearedjames
      @fearedjames Před 6 lety +3

      Tobias Zauner Most people treat people from the past as non humans in how they expect them to act. Especially in Great Man style history.

  • @hitmanwolf
    @hitmanwolf Před 6 lety +19

    "The 7 Samurai" from 1954.
    that is the best cinematic representation of not only the Edo Era, but how Expendable and Pridefull Samurai really were...

  • @MrPringleson
    @MrPringleson Před 6 lety +404

    his arms look like they are uncomfortable being on his body

    • @edgepixel8467
      @edgepixel8467 Před 6 lety +14

      Wind Wanker
      They are

    • @almightythor2674
      @almightythor2674 Před 5 lety +25

      Soy and self hate does that to a person.

    • @dgls4202
      @dgls4202 Před 5 lety +3

      I think he has a boner

    • @Berengier817
      @Berengier817 Před 5 lety +2

      I'm sure everything is uncomfortable being near his body

    • @21pilotstillidie58
      @21pilotstillidie58 Před 5 lety +8

      @@almightythor2674 yea he's not a real man. You're the real man it's obvious by the fact your handle in comic book character.

  • @ibrahimrobinson8508
    @ibrahimrobinson8508 Před 6 lety +157

    Mouth magic has a totally different meaning in my book.
    🙃

  • @damonpatterson8293
    @damonpatterson8293 Před 6 lety +421

    The real life Afro Samurai!😀😀

    • @bmav007
      @bmav007 Před 6 lety +4

      It's much more accurate than we thought!

    • @masters3104
      @masters3104 Před 6 lety

      Da Sam moo rhai

  • @MiguelVicoR
    @MiguelVicoR Před 6 lety +188

    Are you saying Afro Samurai is historically inaccurate!? Good day sir! I said GOOD DAY!!!!

    • @not420blazeit
      @not420blazeit Před 4 lety +15

      Didnt he exactly say Afro Samurai is accurate though? I mean, the characters there vary from soldier samurais, to pirate samurais, to aristocrat samurais and a black samurai (Yasuke).

    • @not420blazeit
      @not420blazeit Před 4 lety +24

      @viprizy The whole point is about wether afro samurai is accurate or inaccurate, and given there was a black man that was a samurai in feudal Japan, it makes afro samurai accurate enough.
      Your statement makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, and it is something extremely unique for a black man in feudal Japan to be part of japanese culture like that and specially as one of the most important characters of their history.
      He didn't just wash up on a shore, he was a slave rescued by oda nobunaga with the intent to make Yasuke, oda's right arm.
      You should do some more research about the guy and you will eventually be surprised to find out that this black samurai actually fought wars and led armies in one of the most important times for Japan.
      I'm not black, but I respect Yasukes story, so feel free to rip your eyes off.

    • @buddhafyre
      @buddhafyre Před 4 lety +9

      @viprizy "washed up on japan's shores..."... He was a bodyguard/personal assistant to a leading Christian missionary and he spoke four languages, but you were saying.....

    • @toby4514
      @toby4514 Před 4 lety +1

      are we not gonna talk about how everyone is just using "Afro" as a way to describe a whole race, like people, we aren't hairstyles.

    • @saintxroyal9919
      @saintxroyal9919 Před 4 lety +3

      @viprizy Dont hate 😂✔

  • @kittykittygumdrops
    @kittykittygumdrops Před 6 lety +1

    "[A] stab to the tum-tum." AHAH, HILARIOUS! So good! Thanks for your hard work!

  • @xandercorp6175
    @xandercorp6175 Před 6 lety +310

    I like how this guy debunks the stereotypical conception of Samurai as one specific thing at one point in history by invoking the stereotypical knight as one specific thing at one point in history.

    • @RockerMarcee96
      @RockerMarcee96 Před 6 lety +4

      Yeah that bugged me as well.

    • @bretterry8356
      @bretterry8356 Před 6 lety +30

      Goes back to the same idea of the cultural perception versus the historical fact. Knights started out as basically just a protection racket. Your village is being ransacked by bandits with swords and horses? Pay a different group with swords and horses to protect you. Eventually they got wealthy enough to buy noble titles, but the lowest ones without any land attached. Chivalry is all about swordfighting and horsemanship (literally comes from the French word for horse, cheval,) and the whole being honorable and polite to women as a footnote. And don't get me started on the specifics of different types of swords and armor and how they are misused in film. Surprisingly, the movie, A Knight's Tale keeps pretty accurate, grounding the film in a particular decade (1350's) and has armor, weapons, architecture, people, events etc. mostly consistent to that era.

    • @xandercorp6175
      @xandercorp6175 Před 6 lety +8

      No need to shoehorn all that in. I mean I'm glad you've opened up to learning about the reality of the knight and medieval history, but you're coming on really strong and overdramatic, it's just a bit off. Cheers.

    • @aaronkitzmann9419
      @aaronkitzmann9419 Před 6 lety +3

      *Bret Terry* wow that much research for a movie that sees a crowd of peasants sing we are the champions? odd

    • @MrJethroha
      @MrJethroha Před 6 lety +7

      You can't debunk everything in one video!

  • @HarmlessRealityBreaker
    @HarmlessRealityBreaker Před 6 lety +549

    N-Nani?

  • @MandeepSingh-bv2zw
    @MandeepSingh-bv2zw Před 5 lety

    I love ur Hilarious Helmet videos. Your style of narration is amazing.

  • @brunayamaguchi9664
    @brunayamaguchi9664 Před 5 lety

    I really needed this video. Thank you!

  • @Uzzy66
    @Uzzy66 Před 6 lety +548

    Everything I need to know about Samurai, I learned from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This video is unnecessary.

    • @devine4804
      @devine4804 Před 6 lety +1

      Uzzy66 Exactly, Kreiger...... or is it Uzzy66

    • @Uzzy66
      @Uzzy66 Před 6 lety +1

      Yes. Uzzy66 is Krieger. Krieger is Uzzy66.

    • @devine4804
      @devine4804 Před 6 lety

      Uzzy66 MIND IS BLOWN

    • @handyandy5861
      @handyandy5861 Před 6 lety

      I agree

    • @phamthienphuc3951
      @phamthienphuc3951 Před 6 lety +1

      you mean the main villian protagonist ? He doesn't even used sword, spear or bow

  • @Theycallmetomu
    @Theycallmetomu Před 6 lety +47

    Everyone knows that the black samurai was a time traveling baseball player.

  • @MasonicKryptonite
    @MasonicKryptonite Před 6 lety +6

    "What makes you an expert on Japanese history?"
    "Well, I eat a lot of Pocky, and I spend a big chunk of my time googling shit on Samurai."

  • @nstiseo7160
    @nstiseo7160 Před 6 lety +97

    "I would buy a ticket to that thought"
    That's what i did for suicide squad..

  • @drd593
    @drd593 Před 6 lety +612

    I would actually pay to watch The Black Samurai if they make one

  • @tylerladner8093
    @tylerladner8093 Před 6 lety +139

    Someone send it to Metatron.

    • @soulnomad5231
      @soulnomad5231 Před 6 lety +26

      Tyler Ladner ikr it's begging for a debunking

    • @4godand4thegays73
      @4godand4thegays73 Před 6 lety +10

      he's about to get shit on lmao just like he did with matpat

    • @goran77ish
      @goran77ish Před 6 lety +8

      IDK, I think he may agree with lot of things.

    • @garrusn7702
      @garrusn7702 Před 6 lety +6

      Tyler Ladner Cracked might be upset by a white guy critiquing their video on Asia 🙃.

    • @tylerladner8093
      @tylerladner8093 Před 6 lety +1

      GarrusN7 The guy in the video is way whiter though, so he needs to double check his privilege.

  • @johndawson3216
    @johndawson3216 Před 6 lety +1

    i really love this presenter, could talk with him for hours. fun and smart guy. bless him

  • @bubblesbubbleton2747
    @bubblesbubbleton2747 Před 5 lety +18

    The real history of Samurai is waaaaaay cooler then the bs we’ve been fed all these years.

    • @Violent_Wolfen
      @Violent_Wolfen Před rokem

      That's what happens when you don't watch anime like a crack addict.

    • @muhliman2720
      @muhliman2720 Před rokem

      Yeah. I meant, Samurai also mercenary and pirates?
      Now that is a very cool thing to know.

    • @iambicpentakill971
      @iambicpentakill971 Před rokem

      You can remove "of samurai" and it remains a true statement too.

  • @0NodMan0
    @0NodMan0 Před 6 lety +152

    *_All I know is their swords really aren't "Legendarily Strong"..._*

    • @Strawberry92fs
      @Strawberry92fs Před 6 lety +22

      They are legendarily strong. Just not ACTUALLY strong (compared to other swords) If I recall the issue was that when they were knew, properly forged steel Katana were far better than the iron swords the japanese had been using.

    • @RelativelyBest
      @RelativelyBest Před 6 lety +16

      "Strong" is probably the wrong word to use. It's really more a matter of having different philosophies on what makes a good sword. It depends on whether you are going for versatility or specialization.
      Japanese swords have very hard edges and soft backs. The hard edges means they can be made extremely sharp, and they don't even notch the way other swords do - they actually chip, like glass. Meanwhile the backs will be more likely to bend rather than develop stress fractures and crack. So, while they will be more likely to take a set, they are also less likely to suffer sudden catastrophic breakage.
      In the west, iron age and earlier medieval swords were actually made in a similar way though not quite to the same extremes. Once metallurgy and industrial production improved, focus shifted to more spring-like unisteel blades. These are more versatile and reliable in terms of structural attributes, but sacrifice the very sharp edges and particular aesthetic values of say a katana.
      At any rate, it's true that Japanese swords were highly valued by just about every other culture that came in contact with them, since the Japanese - while very traditional - have never been a people who half-ass stuff.

    • @d.whillmar1740
      @d.whillmar1740 Před 6 lety +1

      I think it's not really right to classify them as swords at all. More like sabres to me.

    • @AudieHolland
      @AudieHolland Před 6 lety +6

      Katanas were NOT primary combat weapons. Just as the European longswords, they were BACK UP weapons. Japanese Samurai and other warriors fought using: pikes, looong spears, bows, naginata, ie, pole arms. Katanas were more like status symbols. Only samurai were allowed to wear the Daisho (katana and dirk). And if you touched a samurai's Daisho, he was entitled to kill you on the spot. If you were lowly scum that is. If you were a high ranking noble, the samurai would have to kill himself afterwards.

    • @lorengarms9836
      @lorengarms9836 Před 6 lety

      You sir are correct

  • @Hewhowalkswithlegs
    @Hewhowalkswithlegs Před 6 lety +3

    I am a history teacher and I have started using this series in my classes. They are awesome.

  • @terrium
    @terrium Před 6 lety

    And with this video you earned my sub. Cheers!

  • @swagtastikal3867
    @swagtastikal3867 Před 6 lety

    Awesome. A history lesson I can get behind.

  • @bronzedivision
    @bronzedivision Před 6 lety +92

    As someone who's actually studied Japanese culture and history I've been waiting for this video for a LONG time.

    • @NarutoUzumaki-jg4pw
      @NarutoUzumaki-jg4pw Před 6 lety +7

      bronzedivision It really didn't have that much to say. I'm pretty sure most people (adults at least) understand there's a difference between their romanticized idea of samurai and reality. You could find all this information in about 5 minutes on a single Wikipedia page.

    • @mm16046
      @mm16046 Před 6 lety +2

      actually

  • @Callidous
    @Callidous Před 6 lety +123

    "as early as the europeans did"
    Almost. Cannons were introduced to the japanese by europeans, so obviously there has to be some delay.

    • @matheusleal9586
      @matheusleal9586 Před 6 lety +77

      Actually, cannons were introduced to Japan by China, a few centuries prior to that. Apparently they weren't that popular though, and only became widespread after the Portuguese brought theirs.

    • @Callidous
      @Callidous Před 6 lety +2

      I know about the chinese guns, but I'm not aware of any evidence of use in Japan. Are you saying they did use chinese guns before the europeans came or is this just about my choice of the word "introduce"? :)

    • @matheusleal9586
      @matheusleal9586 Před 6 lety +16

      Yes, according to Wikipedia Japan used Chinese cannons before the Europeans arrived. Apparently as early as 127.

    • @matheusleal9586
      @matheusleal9586 Před 6 lety +29

      Ops, I meant 1270

    • @Callidous
      @Callidous Před 6 lety +8

      That's on wikipedia? How did I not know that then, lol. But I'm always happy to learn new things. I guess they fell completely out of use by the time the Portuguese arrived though, because I'm pretty sure by that time there were no more left.

  • @jcww3074
    @jcww3074 Před 5 lety +1

    Love the host of these 😂😂✊🏾

  • @Goblin_Tits
    @Goblin_Tits Před 6 lety

    This video is actually pretty good. Kudos!

  • @legoinsomniac
    @legoinsomniac Před 6 lety +272

    This and "Some News" are my favourite cracked series.

    • @LovePeaceBeer
      @LovePeaceBeer Před 6 lety +8

      What about "After Hours" and "Honest Ads"?

    • @Siansonea
      @Siansonea Před 6 lety +8

      I really think "a news person" should win "an award".

    • @74261700002770825
      @74261700002770825 Před 6 lety +5

      Lego Insomniac Rodger Horton is God

    • @vetsforthe99-61
      @vetsforthe99-61 Před 6 lety +6

      Lego Insomniac after hours as well

    • @MichaelVitello
      @MichaelVitello Před 6 lety +4

      Lego Insomniac if you like these two cracked series then check out the best one "obsessive pop culture disorder" and you should also check out "after hours"

  • @izzy1221
    @izzy1221 Před 6 lety +5

    I remember when this guy was New Guy. Ah how time has passed. I am so proud of him!

  • @dweeki1
    @dweeki1 Před 6 lety

    best channel ever btw ,,, and the show is amazing

  • @seb_fried
    @seb_fried Před 5 lety +1

    absolutely great, i laughed hard :D

  • @frozenaorta
    @frozenaorta Před 6 lety +18

    Okay, this is the first time on this show where the helmet aspect is actually hilarious. I love most everything Alex does, but even if I didn't, this video is worth watching just to stare at how ridiculous his skinny ass looks in that helmet for 8 minutes. Lol.

  • @damonpatterson8293
    @damonpatterson8293 Před 6 lety +103

    The RZA should direct a movie about the Black Samurai like his movie The Man With The Iron Fists.

    • @Infinity_WarTorn
      @Infinity_WarTorn Před 6 lety +4

      Rza is actually making a Black Samurai show (I believe based on the Jim Kelly movie).
      Edited to include link to article about the show. Didn't know the Kelly movie was based on a book, the more you know :)
      www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/common-topline-starz-black-samurai-reboot-rza-jerry-bruckheimer-1031574

    • @JackgarPrime
      @JackgarPrime Před 6 lety +9

      There is actually a movie about Yasuke in production by Lionsgate: deadline.com/2017/03/lionsgate-taps-highlander-creator-gregory-widen-to-script-film-on-first-black-samurai-1202049635/

    • @damonpatterson8293
      @damonpatterson8293 Před 6 lety

      JackgarPrime Thanks for the link!☺

    • @damonpatterson8293
      @damonpatterson8293 Před 6 lety

      Louis Bamberger Thanks for the link!😊

    • @alejandromolina7270
      @alejandromolina7270 Před 6 lety +2

      Damon Patterson There's an anime call Afro Samurai. The RZA does the soundtrack for the anime and Afro Samurai is voiced by Samuel L. Jackson.

  • @michaelkluemper4417
    @michaelkluemper4417 Před 3 lety +2

    Really enjoyed this video. I teach Japanese languae and was stoked to hear about the African samurai and the rest. I shared it with my classes. Awesome!

  • @AgentBournekorean
    @AgentBournekorean Před 6 lety

    the last few minutes of this vid are pure gold

  • @mydogslastdance
    @mydogslastdance Před 6 lety +14

    The legendary number 1 headband promises power, omnipotence

  • @aldensworld2565
    @aldensworld2565 Před 6 lety +242

    I live in japan, so I already knew all this. I actually own nitobe’s book 😂

    • @FredMaverik
      @FredMaverik Před 6 lety +25

      Did you pay attention? The fucking book is innacurate as fuck. Damn Gaijins who thinks they are japanese

    • @HerculesTM
      @HerculesTM Před 6 lety +2

      Wow, you're such a genius

    • @aldensworld2565
      @aldensworld2565 Před 6 lety +18

      Fred News I know that it’s innacurate but it’s to me an artifact of Japanese history and literature

    • @aldensworld2565
      @aldensworld2565 Před 6 lety +10

      Shanghai Qatar wtf actually no I’ve lived here since I was five years old and most people are actually very accepting and fascinated with other cultures, including my Scottish and Italian roots. Are all Americans ignorant and stupid like you? Because if so, count me out of my Alaska trip this summer.

    • @DdotTindall
      @DdotTindall Před 6 lety +1

      Im from the UK btw. Strong assumptions. your initial post also inferred you come from the American perspective - as in you didnt grow up in Japan.
      Ignorant of your own communication abillities.

  • @stacyblue1980
    @stacyblue1980 Před 6 lety

    This is great. And funny. Thanks.

  • @smoovoperata3242
    @smoovoperata3242 Před 6 lety

    Stab in the tum tum!! 😁 I love this channel 👍

  • @patpiper868
    @patpiper868 Před 6 lety +3

    'movies are dead! read a book!'
    love it

  • @antonydrossos5719
    @antonydrossos5719 Před 5 lety +19

    4:50 Actually, the idea of the soul existing in the abdomen is a common idea in Eastern philosophy.
    In Japan, in is called Kyoku, in China; Dantien.
    It's the spiritual reason why Qi-Gung breathing and Kiais are done from the abdomen.
    The practical reasons are, because it's where the breathing muscles are located, and breathing this way maximizes expansion of the lungs.
    Carry on.

  • @paulrivera3252
    @paulrivera3252 Před 5 lety

    You are funny, entertaining, and informative.

  • @shAmbuO668
    @shAmbuO668 Před 5 lety

    You folks should have a shitload more subscribers. I love this stuff!

  • @Chill_K
    @Chill_K Před 6 lety +3

    "Humans" Words cannot describe how much I love this video!

  • @keepperspective
    @keepperspective Před 6 lety +3

    They were humans? Wow! Who knew?
    Love these. Please keep making them.

  • @englishcoach7772
    @englishcoach7772 Před 6 lety

    Just very awesome!!!! Funny and genius!!!

  • @louisburke3027
    @louisburke3027 Před 6 lety

    Thx 4 the quickie lesson in Japanese history. Well Done. lol

  • @tollutollu
    @tollutollu Před 6 lety +5

    i like this tiny mans words, speak more of them

  • @meezy9550
    @meezy9550 Před 6 lety +27

    Makes fun of someone for not using sources, when there are no sources on this video

  • @shiwan8
    @shiwan8 Před 6 lety

    Actually had no idea. This was very good to see.

  • @jspain7690
    @jspain7690 Před 5 lety

    Not nearly enough of these history ones. Its nearly the best on youtube

  • @DStrormer
    @DStrormer Před 6 lety +3

    "Oh well, movies are dead, read a book, baiiiiii!" This is the best thing from the internet in recent memory.

  • @justinradford5645
    @justinradford5645 Před 6 lety +30

    I get more history from here then the actual History Channel.

    • @rampant1apart
      @rampant1apart Před 6 lety +25

      But what about the academic veracity and in-depth research of "Ancient Aliens" and "Pawn Stars"?!

  • @gustavelchapo2919
    @gustavelchapo2919 Před 5 lety

    That history of japan video is a youtube gem !!

  • @jahaanelliott805
    @jahaanelliott805 Před 3 lety +2

    The black samurai played by denzel Washington would be sick

  • @kylaricher2736
    @kylaricher2736 Před 5 lety +31

    It's true that not all samurai committed seppuku in certain cases. However, it was more common than you are making it out to be.

    • @RAGEN99
      @RAGEN99 Před 4 lety +8

      Common as a form of execution not voluntarily

    • @almalone3282
      @almalone3282 Před 3 lety +3

      Best part about seppuku was the poems samurai wrote before there death some where actually sweet and thought provoking but most where trash talking the people who got them in that situation
      I remember one where a guy wrote basically a detailed description about how he took a rival samurai's daughter's virginity
      So you have a room full of important people waiting for you to die and they are required to sit down and listen to how long you had sex with one of their daughters

    • @lool2707
      @lool2707 Před 3 lety

      @@almalone3282 Can you link that?, sounds interesting haha

    • @almalone3282
      @almalone3282 Před 3 lety

      @@lool2707 read it in a book form my downtown library 15 years ago I don't remember the name sadly
      But it was a compilation of samurai poems and haikus
      Not all poems are like that but that one stuck out to me the most

    • @lool2707
      @lool2707 Před 3 lety +1

      Al Malone Not suprised, when someone explains how they took a rival daughter’s virginity before committing seppukku is something i would always remember hahah.

  • @GrillWasabi
    @GrillWasabi Před 6 lety +348

    Love it! Keep it up guys!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @andrewlopez7296
      @andrewlopez7296 Před 6 lety +1

      I will

    • @Arigator2
      @Arigator2 Před 6 lety +1

      Had to feel pretty silly still running around in the 1800's with a sword. Of course there were Japanese still running around in the Phillipines fighting WW2 until the 1980's.

    • @wimpow
      @wimpow Před 6 lety

      Even in WW1 a lot of people run around with swords. And I mean not only Persian, Indians, Vietnamese, and some other Asian countries, also Russians, Turks and European cavalry.

    • @Rodsupremos
      @Rodsupremos Před 6 lety +2

      Miserable emasculated men are so annoying. Your self-mutilation is not funny or entertaining. Please stop.

    • @mhtlay312
      @mhtlay312 Před 6 lety

      Grill Wasabi Sushi Channel I

  • @AmyMoncure
    @AmyMoncure Před 6 lety

    This is great!!!

  • @yussefthe3rd
    @yussefthe3rd Před 5 lety

    damn, you guys still got it! That was funny and learneded!

  • @tryanything5473
    @tryanything5473 Před 6 lety +21

    Bitches love conons!
    By Alucard

    • @dal6220
      @dal6220 Před 6 lety +2

      Try Anything enthusiastic walks

  • @fistofthebrownstar
    @fistofthebrownstar Před 5 lety +6

    Ok first I really want to see that idea of a movie about Yasukai and second he really missed out on a perfect afro samuri reference.

  • @JansTaiChi
    @JansTaiChi Před 6 lety

    Great thank you!

  • @anotsocheerio755
    @anotsocheerio755 Před 4 lety

    Entire series is a mood

  • @frogfellow9554
    @frogfellow9554 Před 6 lety +3

    I love how they number the first couple Hilarious Helmet History, and then just gave up.

  • @chainer8686
    @chainer8686 Před 6 lety +58

    The Last Samurai movie title is using the plural form of samurai, not singular.

    • @chainer8686
      @chainer8686 Před 6 lety

      Matthew Barcelo you mean English?

    • @JamesDavy2009
      @JamesDavy2009 Před 6 lety +12

      The Japanese language doesn't conjugate its nouns to a plural form for more than one of something. E.g. _Ippon no mizu, nihon no mizu_ for one bottle of water, two bottles of water.
      Then again, English has a few nouns that behave like this as well: sheep, fish and moose.

    • @chainer8686
      @chainer8686 Před 6 lety +1

      JamesDavy2009 yes, you are completely correct, but my point was the title of it is in English, which threw many peoples off.

    • @lookit87
      @lookit87 Před 6 lety

      chainer8686 you just exploded my cerebral cortex, sir

    • @robertherrick6703
      @robertherrick6703 Před 6 lety +1

      Especially with its marketing as TOM CRUISE...THE LAST SAMURAI. "The Last of the Samurai" would've been a less confusing title but it doesn't sound as good as "The Last Samurai".

  • @ikust007
    @ikust007 Před 5 lety

    Love that show love it!

  • @jurseydevil6784
    @jurseydevil6784 Před 5 lety +1

    that was Hilarious. do "The Hagakure" next.

  • @bean4423
    @bean4423 Před 6 lety +5

    so basically all of kurosawa's movies were accurate

  • @shannaclankie184
    @shannaclankie184 Před 6 lety +24

    Just watch Rurouni Kenshin = 100% accuracy. :)

    • @Hachizukatenzo
      @Hachizukatenzo Před 6 lety +1

      You're talking about an anime made from a shounen manga where some character fight empty handed against swords just by using punches and kicks and where a bunch of them are inspired by *Marvel Comics*. If you think Rurouni Kenshi accurately depicts Boshin war and Meiji restoration, you need to learn a bit about it.

    • @aldoo311
      @aldoo311 Před 6 lety +1

      Tenzo Hachizuka whose character is inspired by marvel?

    • @Hachizukatenzo
      @Hachizukatenzo Před 6 lety +2

      Aldo Sirait Udo Jin-e is obviously inspired by Gambit the cajun x-man. Akamatsu Arundo is pretty much from marvel villain Omega Red. Yatsume Mumoi comes from Venom. And when it's not from Marvel, it's from Samurai Spirit or other beat'em-up. Even the author, Watsuki Nobuhiro admited these inspirations from existing comic or videogame characters.

  • @DDuMas
    @DDuMas Před 5 lety

    LOL, that picture of that guy with the canon at 5:36 is epic.

  • @Klangstar
    @Klangstar Před 6 lety

    This is actually very accurate. Well done Cracked. You definitely did your homework.

  • @JSinfiniti
    @JSinfiniti Před 6 lety +3

    Fun fact that hot babe at the end was the same girl who played Katara in the shitty live action "The Last Airbender" movie. Damn she grew up.

  • @davidstumpfl5889
    @davidstumpfl5889 Před 6 lety +63

    Is the Last Samurai still a "white savior" story if they all end up dead by the end? Not a lot of saving is my point.

    • @matrix8848
      @matrix8848 Před 6 lety +3

      David Stumpfl LOL

    • @lalit5408
      @lalit5408 Před 6 lety +5

      Yes, it surprisingly is. It's a story of "white savior" who failed.
      YOU ONLY HAD ONE JOBBBBB.........

    • @dylanleamananderson7811
      @dylanleamananderson7811 Před 5 lety +8

      Dude you need to get a grip on your white guilt

    • @LordVader1094
      @LordVader1094 Před 5 lety +6

      Lalit Singh Rana
      Seems more like it's a white guy who got integrated into the culture. Not everything is a white savior story.

    • @21pilotstillidie58
      @21pilotstillidie58 Před 5 lety +2

      @@LordVader1094 being integrated and being their savior is different. It's not like he was just some random white guy. In the movie he is literally there to save them. His whole point is to teach them how to fight. That without his knowledge they wouldn't stand a chance. I get the joke of he failed and it was a good one. However it's still a westerner(most of the time white)savior story. Just one in which he sucks at being a savior. I think the problem isn't 100% race. To me it's more the idea that westerners are these brilliant badass heroes. Who without the poor foreigners(mostly people of color)would never be able to do anything. I mean the movie stole the story of an actual guy but irl it was a French guy.

  • @azsetik9907
    @azsetik9907 Před 6 lety +1

    "oh well movies are dead! read a book! byyyyyyyyyye!"
    this is one the first crack videos I've seen & it's soooouuuuupar fantabulous! ... ergo i'm excited to see the other history vids!
    💚

  • @toonvanesch6729
    @toonvanesch6729 Před 6 lety

    great video

  • @johndawson3216
    @johndawson3216 Před 6 lety +4

    this guy is awesome idris elba in yasuke movie that would be sick!

  • @coltenlester9426
    @coltenlester9426 Před 6 lety +10

    Where r u Metatron.

  • @saturnsaturn7721
    @saturnsaturn7721 Před 6 lety

    This opened my eyes.

  • @jrusselison
    @jrusselison Před 6 lety +2

    I recommend reading James Clavell’s ‘Shogun’ :)

  • @salehalsayaad
    @salehalsayaad Před 5 lety +13

    I watched this to learn about wano arc before it starts

    • @CharmineX
      @CharmineX Před 3 lety

      Let's see how act 3 will end

  • @ringoharris8678
    @ringoharris8678 Před 5 lety +4

    The real thing is rarely ever anything like their glamorized counterparts.

  • @michaelpolidore554
    @michaelpolidore554 Před 6 lety

    I love that line "humans!" Pretty much explains it all

  • @ricksanchez8521
    @ricksanchez8521 Před 6 lety

    The ending was great

  • @iancleary3609
    @iancleary3609 Před 6 lety +13

    0:56 paused the video and now I am going to leave

  • @sadlobster1
    @sadlobster1 Před 5 lety +16

    Being a book nerd and a lover of Feudal Japan. I've already learned a lot of this knowledge from the history books I've read on the Samurai. However, I often find the myth of a culture or a warrior type to be more inspiring than the actual figure.
    I know that in mythology, the warriors are less...(looks at his note) oh, here's the word; "human." But these days; with the firearm becoming available to almost every man, woman and child out there. I feel that the mythical figures are more human than us.
    Why? Because these figures understood the value of morality and fought for the greater good. Whereas in reality, it's all about power and survival of the fittest; which is utterly disgraceful

    • @groovesmoviesandjokesinthe7052
      @groovesmoviesandjokesinthe7052 Před 3 lety +1

      That sound nice... until you realize that this inspiring figure has been used to mass execute prisoners.

    • @sadlobster1
      @sadlobster1 Před 3 lety +1

      @@yeayea4744 Thing is, though; not EVERY human is all about being the alpha or wanting to do whatever it takes to survive.
      I'm certainly not, my life isn't that important compared to that of others

    • @yeayea4744
      @yeayea4744 Před 3 lety

      @@sadlobster1 Your life is absolutely just as important as everyone else’s. At the end of the day we are all humans, regardless of status or whatever other factors there are. There is not a single person who is more important than anyone else; it might seem like it from a career standpoint as there are billionaires and millionaires, but at the end of the day, they are human as-well. And yea, survival of the fittest and being the “alpha” male is not important to the majority of society; but the same rules still apply to us, as it is who we are in nature. This is what competitiveness derives from, in every aspect of life not just strength. It could range from intelligence, to strength, to video games, to careers, it all still applies. The idea of “Alpha” is seen as someone who is big, bulky and brawn, but that is not all that it is. Regardless of whatever your passions are, strive to be the alpha in that, be the best, as there is no other reason to do so, and remember there is no one who is inherently more important than anyone.

    • @sadlobster1
      @sadlobster1 Před 3 lety +1

      @@yeayea4744 This may come as a surprise to you...but striving for the Alpha Mentality (to me) is a totally worthless pursuit.
      There are far more important things to focus one's concerns than being the best or winning

  • @blakejones409
    @blakejones409 Před 5 lety

    Mouth magic? Love it. Subbed just for that.

  • @teklife8271
    @teklife8271 Před 6 lety

    THIS CHANNEL IS FANTASTIC 💯 FACTS TASTE SO MUCH SWEETER THAN FICTION🙏🏼

  • @dingfeldersmurfalot4560
    @dingfeldersmurfalot4560 Před 5 lety +19

    They used pole arms instead of swords because that's way less dangerous? There's a guy who knows absolutely nothing about combat. And it doesn't sound like he even understands what war is.
    They used pole arms because pole arms are cheaper and a row or two of them can prevent cavalry charges from being successful. Also, even peasants, slaves, and captured enemy soldiers could be equipped with relatively cheap pikes and shoved out in front. You're not going to have enough swords for them and if you did, you wouldn't give those weapons to them. Most samurai were not wealthy, either, nor were all their masters, and just like good armor, a sword was expensive. Some samurai even sold their swords in hard times, which were frequent in a country often embroiled in internal warfare. Further, the spear was a highly esteemed weapon, not thought of as second-rate.
    Also, what about the book Hagakure by Yamamato Tsunetomu?

    • @thatonekid640
      @thatonekid640 Před 4 lety +2

      Also swords are ineffective against almost all armor

    • @OGBOOP
      @OGBOOP Před 4 lety

      I think he meant wepons like a naginata when he said pole wepons. Naginata was a sort blade on a big pole which was supposed to keep sworded enemies further away because you had a longer reach. Thats why they were in most cases better than a sword because you wern't in the reach of getying stabbed before you had killed the enemy

    • @impatientsamurai6202
      @impatientsamurai6202 Před 4 lety

      Felix Brand well yari and it’s variants were the main weapons of both the samurai and the peasants. Mainly because it was cheap, and same reasons above. There is also the way warfare developed in Japan. It wasn’t from just pike warfare like in Europe. They used the yari to batter the enemy and their yari until the enemy was stuck on defense for their life, then samurai with omiyari would go in and try to eliminate them. (Not every clan, as they each developed their own style

    • @alextaws6657
      @alextaws6657 Před 4 lety

      wiki says he was he was a scribe, "According to Mark Ravina, 'Rather than an account of samurai tradition, this work [Hagakure] serves as an example of what the Japanese army thought Japanese soldiers should believe about samurai practice.'" (Ravina, 2015, Understanding Japan: A cultural history. Course Guidebook, Smithsonian Institution, pp. 94-95, cited by Wiki)

    • @Southboundpachyderm
      @Southboundpachyderm Před 4 lety

      Polearms are your best friend in a war too. Lol. If you're fighting a dude with a sword and you have a polearm, you're gunna kill the idiot with the sword before he can even get within 2 feet of you to strike. Polearms are the way to go if you didn't want to die immediately back then. Japanese warriors perfected the polearm in many ways, and it's translates directly to any other hand held weapon you could get. Polearms literally were good against anything and like you said, they're fucking cheap to make compared to full tang swords that took hundreds of hours to properly craft and temper. Swords in almost every aspect are inferior to polearms in a fight. Most actual fighters in the wars of japan used bows and arrows and polearms. The sword is a last resort, and even the most rudimentary of samurai era combat writings say this. Hell even Miyamoto Musashi says this in the book of five rings. Reach and distance is everything, and if you have that advantage over your opponent, you're most likely going to win. That's why we use fucking sniper rifles to assassinate high value people and not assault rifles. You wanna stay as far away from getting yourself fucked up while fucking the opponent up as much as possible.

  • @blaze556922
    @blaze556922 Před 6 lety +374

    I've studied Japanese culture and history for years and have never once heard about black Samurai until this video.

    • @vietlee4290
      @vietlee4290 Před 6 lety +189

      AfroSamurai

    • @LlamaKing9000
      @LlamaKing9000 Před 6 lety +98

      Yautja Prime Man, if you watched the entire video before commenting, you would know.

    • @LuckyBastard12345
      @LuckyBastard12345 Před 6 lety +127

      Yautja Prime You studied asian culture for decades and you never heard Yasuke

    • @johnrife7134
      @johnrife7134 Před 6 lety +78

      Yautja Prime Japan is pretty racist culture. it's not something they would brag about.

    • @christophbeck1305
      @christophbeck1305 Před 6 lety +20

      Its becaus cracked has an sjw agenda and not having black samurai woud be racist in ther eyes

  • @richarddimbo3157
    @richarddimbo3157 Před 5 lety

    Congrats on the Jeopardy win tonight! :D

  • @joypinero-deniz7704
    @joypinero-deniz7704 Před 5 lety

    I like your show. I wish you could cite your source materials so I can read and research more into the popular misconceptions