Agoraphobia: The Fear of Fear | Linda Bussey | TEDxYellowknifeWomen
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- čas přidán 13. 01. 2019
- As someone who has suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for most of her life, Linda shares how she was able to push herself to take on public roles for much of her adult life. Linda was born in Quebec in 1959; 33 years later she moved North, a place she still calls home. Linda first moved to Iqaluit with her young family and immediately immersed herself in the community. She moved to Yellowknife in 1996 with her three children and once again became immersed in her community. She was school board trustee, speed skating official, member of the NWT Wellness Committee, and lately completing 2 terms as a City Councillor. Linda worked for several years with the GNWT, mostly in Human Resources as a recruitment and retention consultant and manager, before realizing she was more interested in Non-Government Organizations. She was Executive Director of the Stanton Territorial Hospital Foundation and today is the Director General of the Federation Franco-Ténoise. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
I suffered the borderline disorder for over 23 years, with so much anxiety not until I came across psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment actually saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean.
Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode enough to start working on my mental health
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need
He's Shane.myco
The shroom experience stands as my most remarkable journey, an awe-inspiring encounter that left an indelible mark of amazement.
He’s on insta?
Agoraphobia is so crippling, and honestly it's so easy to develop. Dont leave your house much for 6 months to a year, that's literally all it takes. It takes tons of small steps of leaving the house, repeatedly, to improve. Realizing danger isn't actually there and it's a lie in your head helps a lot.
Damn man anxiety sucks
A.
ẞ
FEAR-false emotion appearing real
@@K2K721 so helpful 😑🙄
Haven't left the house but around 8 times in 12 years. My trigger is basically just stepping outside. No therapy, no pills. social things scare the heck out of me. commenting scares me, i find comfort in humor. It takes me a lot of planning to do anything, everything social i do , It takes so much energy. I have to mentally prepare myself before talking on the phone. what all im going to say, and for anything said or asked of me .I will try to be more active this year. maybe post more comments, and do public things like videos or something, even though that scares me too. I'm just sick of not truly living and being controlled by it. hope is all i have.... and sarcasm lol. hope all of you can do it as well :) btw edited this 14 times because i kept getting panic attacks and erasing it.
Tuhrell hope and sarcasm, love this and feel the same. 😂 laugh about it or cry right?! 20 yrs into agoraphobia and I believe we will conquer this, but in the mean time, it’s building our character and strength. Much love to you.
Tuhrell, you are the epitome of that sub Reddit: Funny and Sad! Public sucks, feels like all eyes on you. Even though they probably aren’t, but still. Yes, the energy drain! After being in public, I have to literally shut down for an hour. I feel like a big wuss.
Im a single dad of four and i suffer with it as well amongst other mental health issues. Because of my kids I found hope and became able to at least learn to feel safe in my car enough to drop them off at school. Most of my doctors come to my house, but that is slowly changing. I have hope for myself and anyone who suffer with mental health issues. Much love.
Tuhrell you are not alone.
You’re very brave for saying that. I’m afraid of encountering dangerous people. I hope you get help
Wow someone who dealt with agoraphobia and public speaking??!!! This gives me so much hope.
its been a year - how you doing now? :3
2 years later now, hope your agoraphobic is getting better!
I’m still struggling unfortunately but I’m trying to work on stuff.
Saving people is enough to make us forget our panic, to save another person from their panic, I'll fight for anyone's peace ❤
I experienced agoraphobia for approximately 5-6 years. It is incredibly debilitating but after a number of years I could see that I could not keep doing what I was doing. I could see things were not going to change unless I changed. I forced myself to go into situations that made me feel uncomfortable and allowed myself to feel that discomfort without shying away from it. Over time things got better, but it took a long time. Stay strong people! Push yourself out of your comfort zone one step at a time. Slow and steady wins the race!
A scary thought, but worth trying.
@@jillstruthers its the only thing that will help. We HAVE to confront the discomfort. You’re not in danger, you’re just uncomfortable and it sucks. But we have to keep going.
Very solid advise 👌
Good for you, I am home bound senior citizen, no one really understands this issue completely
I am agoraphobic and I can't imagine getting on stage in front of people so DAMN girl!!! You rock. Yes, escape routes are so key! I didn't know other people couldn't go back to the place of their first panic attack. Mine was at a comic shop and I have gone back there but every time I do I get really emotional and crabby. It sucks.
My first real panic attack was in the train i gues. But i felt a bit anxious before. Since then it went bad. I did felt a bit anxious earlier in the bus(couple months earlier) but no panic attack. So my root cause is the train and i need to take the train?
For me it has been since childhood. My son is 17, developed it after multiple family deaths including his father.
I’m almost 47 and it’s at an all time high. Thinking about leaving the house to go anywhere other than my dear friends house…I cry, anxiety/panic starts, I shake, have stomach issues issues, and occasionally vomit. It’s crippling at times. I call off work constantly. The second I call off. Everything goes away…I’m at peace, calm, I can breathe again. Until the next morning…
Hugs to any and all suffering with this.
I’m so sorry about that you should really go see a therapist Ik it’s hard but it’s one of the best things you can do start exercising and meditating these 3 are key and taking supplements like l theanine and magnesium theornate and chamomile tea and even green tea you have to slowly start to reintegrate you’re not in danger it’s just your body overreacting it will be hard but it’s truly the only way to get over this I’m praying for you to have a speedy recovery 🙏
Yes
It hasn’t been since your childhood. You were born with it. It’s a genetic disorder. And only the Claire Weekes method can control it
Oh my…this is literally my life. Nobody talks about the guilt you feel after feeling extremely calm when you cancel things
Hello!! I had a panic attack last year for no reason then after that I was too scared to leave my house. Well eventually I had to leave my house to go to nursing school.. slowly I started just going to school.. then i started going on 20-30 min walks. I was afraid to go to the grocery store but then I started going for about 5 min at a time then started increasing the time and then I kept testing myself! And it’s getting better. And I think of all my accomplishments, I go on walks, I go to the store, I’ve gotten a manicure! I believe it’s called desensitization. But trust me guys it gets sooo better! Be patients with yourself. Just wanted to share with you all! It gets better ❤️
Hope all is well...it takes times... but well worth it...
Your exercise is helping relief your stress and tension, which is the main ingredient for anxiety. And panic attacks are based off a feared reaction to the anxiety symptoms.. If you remove the tension, you remove the problem and will desensitize over time... Claire Weekes says "prolonged tension" from stress is usually the initial cause..
You nailed it. There is a podcast called the Anxious Truth that talks about this.
Thanks
Yes it can get better
My comping mechanism is chewing gum, listening to music (helps me not to think about that people hear me breathing) and sunglasses (feels like I’m hiding behind a barrier). Yes, I have worn sunglasses indoors!
Oh Interesting I wonder if that’s why I chew so much gum!
Omg yes!! All the above!! Sunglasses on cloudy days even.
This is me exactly....I always chew gum, have in earphones with music and wear sunglasses everyday....these are my coping mechanisms...I'm in the doctors office with sunglasses on right now lmao
These comments have me in tears. I happy that I’m not alone in this, but I’m sad that so many people feel the same. I’ve had agoraphobia for 4 years now. I had 2 jobs and went to school before it all started. I ended up having a bad panic attack at all 3 places. I didn’t even pick up my last paycheck. I feel so helpless.
Same, can't even go back for paychecks, can't call in sick, just freeze and hide.
Please read How to end Anxiety and Panic Attacks by Barry McDonaugh. I had agoraphobia w Panic and it helped me immensely.
Hope you're doing good now ❤️
@@bridgethollandsworth2138 plsss tell me how did you do that? I wanna go to canada but my mind tell me Will you feel good there ? Please please help me
Anyone out there dealing With this I feel you. I'm stuck at home 2 years now.
I’m stuck at home for 4 years
30 plus years here, find a decent Doctor, one who seriously listens, no joke, amazing honesty in this woman!
I stopped living because of anxiety. I found out it was my teacher. Because before, I had lived a lie of other people’s expectations. It has been a long journey but I am hopeful for a new story.
The journey can be long but but every moment its worth it...Take Care..
I remember when I first started having agoraphopia I would search the internet and there wasn't many information on it or personal testimonies. I'm so happy more and more of us are coming out of our shells and speaking up about it. This illness is so horrible to experience but at least I don't feel so alone or "abnormal" anymore. I hope one day this illness becomes only a distant memory for all of us. ✌🏼💗
It is not an illness, it's a phobia developed from anxiety. You're not ill, you just need to be kind and content with yourself, you need to believe in yourself and most of all be brave! Go out and do what makes you anxious, make baby steps and you will get better!
how are you
Thank you for all the comments,,, I never really go back to my Ted Talk,,,, But will answer all of you in the next few days,,,Appreciate your comments
I have the same obsesion with the seats too. First or last seat always🙈. Can i ask you somthing? With pills I managed to pass 2 years of my life without feelings of agorafobia but now i feel a little back to where i left. Would you take antidepresants if you knew that will help you? Because to me they were 100% helpfull
@@qendresahashani642 Yes I would...I take a sleeping pill and have no shame about it...Its about feeling less anxious...Important to find what works for us....merci
@@lindabussey2861 thank you Linda for the answer. I loved your speech.. so real. Hope every person who is weighted down by mental health one day finds a way out🤗
My trigger place is the metro too. I had to take that route for a year and it always drained me. I memorize my stops and escape routes. I live in an overpopulated country and the services are poor. The things that happened there, i will never forget it.
But I'm still here, fighting. I can go out sometimes and I'll try harder.
Thank you for this. I find comfort in this knowing that I am not alone. More power to you. I'm so proud of you.
I'm 28 and haven't left my house in 6 years due to the fear of constant panic attacks, I was late because of agoraphobia to my own mothers funeral. I hope I can talk on a stage like you one day, very inspiring. Thanks.
When I have to go out in public I must have my ear buds and sunglasses. That's really the only way I can be in a public place. The pandemic was a blessing and a curse for me. Although it increased my levels of anxiety, being able to wear a mask (even when it wasn't necessary) provided me the security I needed to go to the grocery store, gas station or my children school events.
Ive struggled with panic attacks for the past 9 years. The secret is to relax and not fear the anxiety. But it takes practise. Im still working on it! Last week I had an anxiety attack on the bus. I stayed in the situation, observed it and in 2 min it vanished. The more you allow your brain to face it with cbt techniques, it will gradually decline. (Im also on Lexapro.)
This won't work for a lot of people. Relaxing isn't possible for many people with panic disorder and especially agoraphobia. It may be more the SSRI, but they are dangerous and change the way the brain works. I would never ever touch another SSRI as many have side effects such as suicide. often people who come off them are never the same and have permanent side effects.
@Burmese Cat oh im so sorry to hear. SSRI might not be a permanent solution. But it has helped me a lot. Do u see a therapist? Important to take it in steps! Gradually expose yourself to the discomfort. But its also important to occupy the brain. With other things. Keep it stimulated. And exercise! Small steps with determination is key.
@Burmese Cat yes ive managed to get rid of it as well. Then it can come back. Distraction is good and easy. But its important to learn the brain to not fear it. When u distract yourself u kind of teach the brain it's dangerous. Have u seen a psychiatrist? I wish I did when I was your age. When I was 12 i didnt understand what it was and just ignored it. I didnt have panic attacks. But felt unwell. It was the start of something. Then i got my diagnosis. But didnt seek help until i was 16. The earlier the better.
@Burmese Cat what did u do congrats!! ive started taking the train as well!
I hope you get well. I managed to deal with it a few times but when the fainting sensation comes that s the worst and I really get scared thinking that maybe this time I ll die. .
I have terrible agoraphobia but it doesn't affect me leaving my house any more thanks to meditation. I just can't be in restaurants, small rooms with other people present and dinner tables. I still struggle with those. For me, the worst is the dinner table. I also used to be afraid to leave the house in case I bumped into people that I knew but I've learned to discover places, parks, and areas in general where no one knows me. My struggle right now is getting work done in coffee shops - I just feel so aware and anxious of my surroundings that I can't get any work done and end up distracting myself with youtube, music or buying drinks/snacks I don't want. It's awful but I still go every week or so because if I stop trying, I know I will become super phobic again - I was once terrified to do anything at all - and I don't want to go to that place again. Good luck all, I would recommend mindfulness meditation, psilocybin mushrooms (no more than 1g dose) and breathing techniques.
EDIT: For anyone who reads this 2 year old comment, I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD which was the root of my social anxiety and being hypervigilant when outside in crowded places, etc. If you suffer from sleep problems, intrusive thoughts, anger or repressed anger, and what I mentioned above, you could have CPTSD too. I would HIGHLY recommend reading "Waking the Tiger" by Peter Levine. I was diagnosed and advised to read this book and it has changed my life. Thank you for your replies.
Thanks for sharing, this is so relatable. Hope you're doing well 😊
Busy restaurant make me want to scream 😱 Keep up the fight! Im finally getting to the point I can go back outside a bit this week. Gotta keep pushing I cant live like a hermit, its been over a year now of this. Personally Id stay away from mush because sometimes I get bad trips but whatever works for you!
We're you ever bullied or had negative attention on you that wasn't wanted? I am trying to pin point what was the trigger or reason I developed this, I know it might be different for you but I just wanted to see if there was similarities with my situation
@@indigo_dreamz yes my family brothers made dun of me a lot because I was always in the spot light I've had a lot of jealous people after me and want to attack me
Please read How to end Anxiety and Panic Attacks by Barry McDonaugh. I had agoraphobia w Panic and it helped me immensely.
Been suffering from Agoraphobia since I was a teen, pretty much the same story with my best friends death as the trigger. I only go out for therapy, for over a decade now. You made me smile and feel less alone though, so thank you.
Please read How to end Anxiety and Panic Attacks by Barry McDonaugh. I had agoraphobia w Panic and it helped me immensely.
I had my first panic attack driving. It was terrifying. I thought I was having a seizure. It's been 6 months and I've been in a car about 5 times since and it's happened 1 other time. I'm seeing a therapist tomorrow.... Hopefully.... If I can make it. Close your eyes and this too shall pass
It's the driving for me.... Or having to be somewhere that I don't feel 'safe' by safe I mean I've never been there before and it's not part of my routine.
I have been having problems being in the car.
Please read How to end Anxiety and Panic Attacks by Barry McDonaugh. I had agoraphobia w Panic and it helped me immensely.
Dont ever connect the anxiety to any situation, because this is the way you develop the phobia. U can get anxiety everywhere. Being in the car is a stressor because it happened there. Focus, breath, go for short drives then for longer ones. It gets better. Trust me
Talks like this help so much, thanks.
I struggled with it before the pandemic but I actually got better and was doing things again, but as soon as the pandemic happened it reinforced previous habits and it's hard again but I'm just trying to tell myself it's all in my head and it'll all be okay, hope everyone else can feel like that too❤️
how are you now? i had a very similar experience but im still very scared to go outside
Thank you for sharing your story. Agoraphobia sufferer 20 yrs here. But I’m determined to live my best life. Agree that the amount of work we have to do on ourselves as agors makes us extremely self aware and also more compassionate to others. Until I am free fully from this, I will see the blessings of character it has brought into my life. I believe God can use ALL things for ultimate good. May God help and bless us.
I've had PTSD since as long as I can remember. My avoidance behaviors are so severe that I've isolated myself "in my cave" for years and years. I finally went to the doctor to get on meds and my doctor said that my PTSD has developed into agoraphobia. I'm hoping the SSRI works
My psychologist described my agoraphobia as like a "side effect" of my PTSD. I had the ptsd since age 4 but the agoraphobia hit me like a bus at 18
@@secretaryofoffense7118 I'm sorry for your suffering as well 😥. I tried all the SSRI's, the anti-psychotics, all the benzodiazepines and other medications. I felt nothing from any of them. I think there is just something chemically defective with my neurological system or something haha
@@amaebarnes dude im sorry, i hope you find something that helps, EMDR has helped me a bit, but i just started it. I got horribly addicted to benzos, and same with ssris doing nothing.
For me its the other way round. When i have an appointment i start panicking and i don.t want to leave my comfort zone but its not that i.m afraid something bad will happen in a particular place. I just panic and fear leaving home and cancel apptm
I have not left my home besides grocery pick ups (recently) since 2010. I'm under 40. This is horrible and lonely. If you can help someone out of this, do it. The result isn't pretty. I don't think I will ever see society again at this point.
I'm 27 and this started when I was 23 ish. This is so hard, I panic and think of every possible scenario- I think everyone is judging me. My apartment is my everything. I can sometimes go w my partner to a fast food drive through only if it's very early or late night when rarely anyone is out.
please don't give up
She is so genuine and so relatable. Loved it!
Well done Linda for being brave enough to be up there giving this talk ❤️
I love your attitude towards what youre dealing with. Your sense of humour, your confidence, your acceptance of yourself. you come across as so authentic, as someone i would love to aspire to be. The part that you mentioned at the end, about it allowing you to understand yourself better, that really shows. Thank you for this! Giving a sense of hope, and finding the good in this.
Thankyou for sharing. Chugging the water makes so much sense. It was really amazing to hear your story and then see that photo with the iceberg behind you. It’s sparked a little bit of hope in me :)
Thank you for your honesty, openness and strength. I’m definitely going to try the exercise with the eyes. ✨
Well I stay alone 24/7 and I love it.❤❤❤❤
Praying for everyone. Linda - you are so badass ! thank you for showing your courage here and passion for helping others who are struggling. I admire you ! ❤️ I'm working on myself everyday and I realize it is easy to get very discouraged , so thank you .
I WAS agoraphobic. It... didn’t take as much as some people would think? I wasn’t crazy, I was just scared. I’ve only had a handful of actual panic attacks, but they were extremely traumatic (I get anxiety attacks much more often). I was young when it happened, it ended up keeping me out of school. I got treatment right away. I REALLY wanted to go back to school, and it only took 2 1/2 years to get fully back in school. I did it slowly (I just wanted to go faster, but my therapist told me it was best going slow), and eventually I was able to reintegrate myself. I still find “fleas” of my agoraphobia, but I now have the skills to get through them
As a 17yr old agoraphobic this give me sm hope, I'm doing online sch for next few years but god I jus cant wait to comfortably get back out n about
how are you now?
@@misse2734how are you now
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am currently doing my best to recover from agoraphobia. It is a messy and long process! However through educating myself I know I will get stronger.
Thank you for sharing Linda!! Miss you hope all is well
Wow i just saw this...Hope you are well....Merci
Thank you so much for sharing this! I related to so much of what you talked about. I’ve been struggling with agoraphobia for a few years now and I’m very grateful that you were willing to share your experience with it.
Ashley Campbell 💔
Wooooooow I’ve finally found why I have anxiety and why I have trouble doing different things. I suffer from the fear of fear. Finally I can try to make things better for me and start to live xxxx
I am so happy that gave such a great speech about situation was like this! That’s what we all need people to come out speaking about it and I admire you so much for that but I’m so glad that you’re doing better and I will try any technique that I see that you put out there. God bless.
An inspirational story.
Giving all of us hope! We can all do it, baby steps❤️
This woman is hilarious. She’s such a bright light.
Bravo!! Well said!
The messed up thing i have is the first place ive ever had a panic attack is my bedroom.... sadly its the same place i first attempted suicide when i was younger. im happy to still be living now but at the moment i work a dead end job and had too move back into my parents house and back into my bedroom. i hope that soon ill be able to escape the hold this room has on me and i can finally grow and live the life i never thoughty i could ever have. and thank you for being brave and standing infront of all those people and youtube and telling your story it calms me a little to find out im not the only one that feels this way. noone i know personlly feels this way and they all think im crazy or somethings wrong with me which sucks but i know its just cuz they dont understand it so once again thank you so much and thank you everyone in the comments for helping me realize im not alone and that it is possible to get through this.
Thank you for sharing it so much...
This video made me cry😔
So hard. Your dad is a blessed man.
Very brave for telling her story. Not a very easy thing to do.
Ok Ma, great presentation,very relatable, very honest and not mired in self aggrandizing or specificity in a potentially triggering example. Ladies have more pride that anyone else can know. I’m glad you heard a faint voice internally ,assuring you will be okay.
Blessings to everyone feeling like this.
It's so brave of her to speak out the first time she had a panic attack in public, I'm still terrified to this day to talk about it bc just thinking about it triggers s huge amount of anxiety in my entire body, even tho it happened when I was about 12 and I'm almost 24 now.
Every has anxiety this comes with being a human and knowing we can't control some stuff however there is stuff that u can control for example your breath, also a lot of people has panic attacks specially now, talking about it really helps, most of this stuff is in our heads is our brain analyzing, I see it as if you were in a baseball game batting and you already stroked yourself out in your mind without even trying or batting once.
@@kevinq6628 thanks I know that, I've suffered from panic disorder and agoraphobia for 3 years and am now a psychologist, you're right, I'm triggered to talk about the first time it happened to me, but I do talk about it, everyone should face their fears in order not to give them power over our total lives 💜 it may be hard but it really is worth it
So proud of you for overcoming your fears and sharing your challenges with all of us. I’m sure it must have been quite difficult to get up in front of this group to tell your story, and I am sure that this will help others who are going through similar struggles. Your talk was magnificent. 💞
Thank you Jeanette...First time reading comments....
Merci..Hope you are well..
Love love loved this!!!
I do not live with anxiety, but I have been very close to a few people with it. It is all about deciding how much you are willing to fight it in order to live, and how much living isn't important enough to fight it. It is continual torture and I understand how it can easily turn into depression, because when you feel safe you aren't living, and when you live you don't feel safe. I think the most important thing is to accept your condition and not be ashamed. Some people have epilepsy, or asthma, or diabetes, or migraines, or allergies, and can have a crisis and need help at a moment's notice. It is much like that.
well done on this talk you did so well i would have died doing this
What a lovely person.
Huge respect for this woman! 👏🏼 I’m dealing with agoraphobia myself and it’s a lonely and scary place, trusting yourself is all you have. I wish everyone all the best, we got this guys 🤍 never give up!
I am dealing with agoraphobia as well! It's been 12 years on & off. How long has it been for you? What do you find to be the easiest way to get out?
@@melissawells7368 The struggle started almost 8 years ago. I can’t just step out of the house, I always need to prepare myself. The easiest way is to schedule my day and make it as comfortable as possible, for an example: how will this move make me feel afterwards? Probably proud and relieved. I make sure that I can listen to music, if a certain road scares you try to take a photo of it, or try to call someone so you can focus on something else. It’s in the details for me really, but it’s easier said than done..I had to cancel a meeting yesterday and I have one today, trying to find a way out or find an excuse how to cancel it. It’s not easy..like you said it’s an on and off thing. I found out that it’s much deeper than it is. I need to trust my body more and trust people around me, my fear is being in a awkward situation and people make fun of me. If you zoom in you’ll find the reason behind agoraphobia. I wish you all the best 🌺 glad that we are not alone in this!
You story reminds me of my life to the tee, Unreal you are a great person.
I started developing anxiety at the beginning of this year, out of nowhere I had a panic attack and from there on they didn't stop. After a while I noticed how tight my chest would feel around crowds so I started avoiding them. I had a panic attack after a nice lunch with my friends and stopped going to that mall, I had multiple panic attacks on the bus and stopped going anywhere. After a while, I couldn't go anywhere. I physically couldn't go anywhere. My therapist started introducing me to exposure therapy and for the first time in about 3 months I went to the library, I cried for 45mins straight and was crippled with anxiety for the next hour and a half but I'm getting more confident and I'm hoping to o to the mall by December. You're going to get there one day beautiful people, the world is bigger than our fear and we deserve to see it.
how are you now?
My home has become my "safe spot" /"safe place". I feel calm and in control there.
I am trying to push myself to go on trains, long walks and to the mall.
I challenge myself step by step and I try not to feel guilty or bad about not being able to function like I once did.
When I am outside, I try to think logically about the situation.
"What could happen now that could not happen inside my home?" "Why would something happen now, when I felt so calm at home". I try to convince myself that it's only in my head and it's my nerves and my brain that try to trick me.
I am not more safe at home even tho my brain likes to think that I am.
I am just as safe outside. I am safe wherever I chose to go because God is with me. And He is with you too.
Whenever you feel like you're not in control - don't forget that God is.
He is always in control. He is the one that keeps you safe when you are sleeping and the one that kept you safe in your mothers womb.
In every situation that you lack control, He is there. He keeps us safe. He keeps the whole world safe and from not burning up from the sun.
You don't need to be in control all the time - you just need to trust God. ❤️
If I went into a store, and heard voices in the next aisle, my legs would turn to jello, I'd hyperventilate. My heart would pound... hard enough I'd get motion sickness (from it rocking my body back and forth). I remember standing on my balcony, with a simple vehicle going past...feeling like I'd been suckerpunched in the gut. It left me doubled over, gasping.
I had to go places. I had a young son, and I didn't want his life to be lessened because of me...because of something I had a problem with. I had to find a way to deal with it.
My son has always loved video games, we'd play them together... bonding. So occasionally, we'd search for something new. Normally shopping, when someone came near or passed us...I'd have to hold onto the cart, white-knuckling it till the wave of effects passed.
At some point, looking through bins of video games, I decided to concentrate on the games and my son...nothing else... let the world around blur and dim from view.
I found myself organizing the bins of games... categorizing them into game systems... GameCube, XBox, Wii, etc... then putting the multiples of a title together. I had time, and it gave us (my son and I), something to talk about...as we searched. Occasionally, people would come by, find a game they liked and leave. We did this frequently...sorting the game bins at stores. And my agoraphobia lessened it's grip.
And I, found the world could be ignored. I could be in it... but it didn't have to be in me.
Over the years, I found if I didn't panic over a symptom (jelly legs, hyperventilating, etc.)... then it would change to something else. My body's way of trying to get attention. I learned to treat it like playing a game of Bingo... wondering what symptom will I get this time? Thinking my system was fascinating... the things it could do, in trying to prevent me from going out... :-)
Now, as I go out...I keep relaxing/distracting things handy (a journal, brain teaser puzzle, game or craft). I try to have an open amount of time...and plan my outings (route, what doing, etc.). So it takes less impromptu thought, and I'm not worrying as much. I've found if I miss going out for a while...that my next trip can be harder, like getting out of practice. So going somewhere, simply to use a distraction method, can help. And yes, a conversation can be used as a distraction.
I considered adding a list of things I've gone through... but if you're like me, your system doesn't need any suggestions...lol... :-)
This is my personal story...I hope it helps...
...just please no plagiarism...contact me if you want to copy it...thank you.
I've had general & school/workplace anxiety for as long as I can remember, but it wasn't until my ex (bf at the time) assaulted me in a Michael's craft store that I truly felt I couldn't go anywhere. Everything became so much harder; that was in 2017. By December 2019/January 2020 I was finally starting to recover & go out more. But then the you-know-what happened, and all my progress went out the window. Some days I can't even step out onto the back patio, and other days I can only go to familiar "comfort" places that I know very well, or with close friends. Not sure where to really go from here, but I want out so bad; I feel trapped, yet my feet are like cement when I approach the front door. It's just nice to know that there are ways to cope and to slowly improve. One day I'll travel the world, but for now, going to the mailbox is a victory. It's the little things.
You are amazing. You give me hope God bless you♥️🤗
1st time saw this video now and already loved her
When she said mental health issues run in her family....I was thinking how that's so true for alot of people but nobody talks about it.
Thank you!
As someone who is chronically ill and is housebound a lot from that, thrown covid in the mix. I think I've developed agoraphobia and that scares me so much and I don't know what to do.
This show made me cry 😢thinking how I was once upon a time fearless .. now I’m a wreck I don’t nothing my gosh 😢
I just had my first panic attack due to being away from home.. I’ve felt myself slowly slipping into never leaving my house other than for work. Then work and maybe a walk here and there. Then just work and the store. Then I started to only feel safe in my bedroom (I live alone though my girlfriend stays often). We needed to stay at a hotel and I only made it through one night before the uneasiness turned to panic.. I wasn’t like this before.. I basically was never home.. always with friends.. or doing something.. now I just feel scared every day.. Thankyou for making me feel like this doesn’t have to become something unmanageable.. I’m gonna go to therapy and get help
Please read How to end Anxiety and Panic Attacks by Barry McDonaugh. I had agoraphobia w Panic and it helped me immensely.
If spas were truly designed for people with anxiety to relax it's even funnier that I have too much anxiety to ever even attempt to go to a spa. She seems like a wonderful person and I'm sorry that she and all the rest of us who deal with anxiety and it's related disorders have to go through this.
Wow 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉. Your a true hero. I am grateful that I recognize a hero when i see one.
You are absolutely correct....its not "fear of open spaces"...its fear of fear. When I was about 20 I took LSD and stated having panic attacks. Later these panic attacks started happening all the time.....ruined my life I am now 68 years old and still have trouble driving freeways and live a very small life. I did learn that you cant have a panic attack without having thoughts first. I learned breathing, distractions to help me.. I learned that panic attacks come from yourself not from someone else.
I am agoraphobic and hate being surround by crowd or places where i may not able to escape.. and i live in india.. i could not ever escape from people here
Sach dost bohot takliff hota h ...
Har din mar mar ke Zina hota h 😢
You are such a brave soul! Thank you for sharing your heart! 💛
I have this, so thank you
Also love the jacket 💖
Thank you.
Thank you
I suffered this for 5 years. It was horrific although at the same time it's trained me for this current lockdown.
At my last job, honestly the only one I've really had, I've worked there on a few different occasions over the last 5 years but was only ever able to make it for maybe a month before I couldn't stop having anxiety attacks just trying to go to work. All I could think about was "what if I have another attack" "what if everyone knows I'm freaking out" "what if I panic and I'm alone" "what if I'm doing this and that wrong" "what if too many people try to talk to me" "what if I just can't do this" and it started the moment I'd get the job but just get worse and worse until I physically just couldn't go anymore. I figured out I must need therapy and I'm starting to get it but I feel like it's harder since everyone around me doesn't understand and just acts like I'm lazy or like it can't really be that bad. And that makes me feel worse cuz I think people are gonna get MAD at ME for having a panic attack
You explained this so well ! I try to explain it and most people do not understand . Congratulations you. are an inspiration .
Thank you.,..take care
I have never done better then now I make my appointments and am closer to my family since this virus maybe that’s weird but I’m excited 😊 things are changing for me finally
I first started having panic attacks when I was 19, I’m 22 right now but I went from going out at all times of the day, alone or not, to rarely going out. I’ve been able to push through and work with small steps but after covid and quarantine I feel like I was set back a bit in certain places like restaurants or crowded spaces (those have always been difficult). I wish for the moment where I can go back to going out on my own without a care in the world. It feels impossible sometimes.
my hero!!!
I’m scared of getting hurt. I was very brave and adventurous kid. But every time I wanted to go out and do something my grandma always right before told me to watch out for dogs that might attack me or people snatching me up. She was trying to be protective I guess but all it did was instill fear for me. I don’t ever want to leave the house on my own especially. I just want to live again
Suffered from this 20 years ago. My girlfriend that time helped me coped with it.
So are you free of agoraphobia now??
I feel stuck almost claustrophobic at a work environment...it now turned to agoraphobia. I'm ok going out running errands cause i know i can leave whenever i want, but thinking of work freaks me out but i still try ...at times i can do a few hours a week if not I'd need like a week or 2 to recover mentally & emotionally...its a never ending cycle🥺
this is me excactly, you are not alone❤️
This describes my life.
Right. Thank God for xanax
Great talk I have a fear of meeting rooms at work when the door shuts and so i got a remote job but they wanting folk in an office..
Thank you for sharing this! Is there any videos that are longer that go into this subject in real depth? I'm fighting to beat agoraphobia so any extra information can aid me in my fight! I wish everyone good mental health & plenty of happiness. God Bless you all ☺🙏❤
kev One77 ... I’m a fellow agoraphobia suffer.. I have really found Dr.Claire weekes books and audio helpful.. I’ve been on this journey for over 10 years, it’s a horrible place to be but there is light at the end of the tunnel.. You will be fine, you will be ok, believe 🙏🏼✌🏼❤️
@@miafeisty9333 thanks for this bit of info I'll definitely look into this, the more info the better, hope you stay well! God Bless ☺👍✌
@@Augustus17 Hey there, I suffer from agoraphobia and my channel contains helpful info on how to recover. I've made big forward steps. Go watch it and leave a comment so I know you did☺️Best wishes- Gabby
Please join That Anxiety Recovery Forum on FB . It will save your life. You will recover . This group is all about recovering and not just crying and complaining.
Being Better new subscriber ❤️
Tools,we need tools,thank you!
I just started learning about this but it sounds like something that happened to me. I had a panic attack like this at school where I just needed to leave. I was doing good in school, I had all As and Bs, had good friends, was doing good socially, and I was doing volunteer work. One day I came into school and I immediately felt like I was going insane. I felt like I needed to leave the school and like I needed to go home, and it was difficult to explain how I was feeling. I don't really know if agoraphobia is what happened to me, I'm going to see a psychiatrist.
Hello I just wanted to say that I hope that you have gotten help or reached out for help. I waited too long and fell into a hole of depression,panic disorder and agoraphobia. I feel like it would have been easier if I did something earlier. So I hope you have gotten help! Have a good day 💕
@@LunaDarkFall What help did you get when you'd stopped waiting?
The way i explain it to my friends that dont understand, the mind is a powerfull thing its the reason were able to talk, walk, dream and see, it sends signals to everypart of our body before were have time to even think so if its powerfull enough to do so much good, why is it so hard for people to understand its powerful enough to do the complete oposite!!
I have agoraphobia & it effin sux. Its going on 3 years now. Cant get help because i cant even talk on the phone to make an appointment to see a dr let alone go see a Dr. I feel like im going to die in my home & since i dont have any family nor friends no one would know. I wish some one would just come here & help me.
I've only recently found out what I have is agoraphobia. I was aware what I dealt with, just didn't know it had a name. In the first half of this video I couldn't stop crying. It all made sense. I had a panic attack years ago in a car, while in a car trip, and since then it's so hard for me to control my anxiety when I know I'll have to be in a car. My whole body hurts and while I'm in it, it takes so much from me to control my nerves that after it I feel exhausted. I have prived myself of going places I would like to go because I just can't find the strength to do it sometimes.
I hate that this is what triggers me. Why couldn't it be like a place that I wouldn't have to return to ever again? By it being a car, I have to face it every single time I leave my house to go somewhere. It does gets easier the more I do it, but it takes just 1 day of just being home for that "progress" to be erased and I'm back to square zero.
And it's not only that but everything social. I haven't finished highschool because it just got so bad I couldn't even sleep anymore knowing I had to go to school. And while this was happening in my head, dealing at the time with my mom having cancer and then losing my grandpa was terrifying. It still is. How am I ever gonna get a job and not fail at it? or to be even more sincere, how am I gonna be able to do anything in life and not fail terribly at it? I've been so strong until now, but I'm afraid it won't last forever. What if my strength has a limit? I'm scared.
Please read How to end Anxiety and Panic Attacks by Barry McDonaugh. I had agoraphobia w Panic and it helped me immensely.
Just a thought - I don't know if you're already good at art, it may actually help if you're not, but maybe you could take it up as a form of therapy. If you have the time or capability, grab some paper and a pencil, sit in a parked car, maybe in the backseat or wherever you feel safest, and pick something in the car to draw - the back of the seat, the door, the dashboard, whatever. Or maybe even start from afar and just draw a car you see on the street. Try to focus all your attention on putting what you see on the paper. Drawing from life forces you to deconstruct objects into lines, shapes, and shadows. It may help to change your perception of cars, or anything else, from something you fear into something you can create. And even if you're not "good at it," focusing on improving could be another helpful distraction from the fear. And it's cheap and travel friendly - you can take a mini notepad and pen anywhere. Even if you're not in a situation where you're able to physically draw, you can continue to focus your mind on converting the things and people around you into art. It could help to keep you calm and avoid a panic attack, and give you something to look forward to doing later. I don't know, I hope that helps.
@@luna-p drawing does help. It used to be a favorite pastime for me. Same with gardening. I only went outside to pay a bill today....it was very draining for me because I was scared I wouldn't have enough money and I'd get thrown out...idk the more I avoid doing things the more irrational the fears become and the more I just want to roll into a ball and never come out. (o.o) i miss going outside....
@@justachonkyspider I know the feeling. Wish I could help.
@@luna-p knowing that I'm not alone helps a lot 😄 I'm deeply afraid of everything. Particularly other humans. Still knowing that other people are out there that know how it feels too. It helps. feeling validated is very healing. We're all special and imperfect and broken. That's where bravery comes from. It comes from taking back what fear took away.
Can't leave my house i need help...can't get any.
Many of us cannot leave the house, all in the same boat sadly :(
Thanks for your kind words.
I have it too....and so afraid when I go home to Austin, TX leaving my long life Wellesley, Ma friends and family who helped me (all the could-they have husbands and /or careers). I've been a widow for over 2 years and it gets worse all the time. I am searching for help too. Doctors just give prescriptions. They don't work. Agrophopia is worse than anyone who doesn't know it " Go for a walk".....yadayadayada....if you can't leave the house how can you go for a walk?????? No one gets it....unless they have it or have gotten over it which is why I am so in awe of this lady.....@@embira4256
it literally took me months but i did it , now i go to school. i am still scared to travel to far. i can go 45 miles outside my safe space but im still to scared to go further. i havent seen my family in 9 years because of it
@@californiaghost-hunters4059 45 miles is a good threshold. I used to be able to go from la to vegas via the round trips. Now im limited to about 10 miles from home. But its gotten worse. Now i cant go more than 2 miles from home!!!! Getting closer to 1 mile. I cant work, but i can go to nearby restaurants, supermarkets etc. Thats fine, because as long as I can get home quickly, i dont freak out or feel trapped. I just have to be close to home.
OMGeez, I thought that I was the only person ever to guzzle water when feeling out of control. Even doctors I had seen over the years had never heard of it. They did tell me if it worked to continue as long as it was non-alcoholic LOL Thank you for sharing.
when i began having panic attacks that was my go to, i told my Boyfriend if we go anywhere i need to have a drink with me the whole time. 😂
For me it developed after I graduated university, I was an active and a hard working student and I was the top of my batch too. I had a GPA of 4. soon after I graduated I came back to my home which was located in a different city. That was the time covid happened. So I started staying at home and in 2020 I only went outside of our house 5 times. After that I had to find a job but I really didn’t want to leave the house. Eventually I found online working platforms and I started working remotely. After 2019 I have only been outside a few times just because I had to. When I have to go outside I get diarrhea. And I feel sick I get so many intrusive thoughts ADHD, OCD, PTSD AND social anxiety, I believe I have all these too. But I still couldn’t move myself to get therapy. Hope one day I will find peace too
I was told all the time, I just had poor social skills that's why I was always nervous in public, after 4 years was diagnosis with Agoraphobia after I lost more and more places I felt safe as soon as I had something set me off the whole place felt unsafe. I hope one day to be able to go to the grocery store alone again. That is what is so crippling about it for me I can't be in any place alone now, I need constant support from a close friend or family.
Never talk to strangers and always go the same way because it’s way easy to find you in a pattern
I developed agoraphobia just 8 months ago. It started with me not wanting to sit in traffic on the interstate for a long time then as of recently I now have a fear of elevators, standing in lines at the grocery store, the car loop at picking my daughter up from school and even waiting for her to get off the bus in my car because I can’t not be there when she gets off the bus so I’m forced to sit and wait and it drives me crazy but there’s positives. I find that going out more helps a lot. My biggest issue is driving because I never know when my car is going break down or just stop running or when I’m going to approach traffic but what helps me is to reason with myself and to tell myself if anything happens there are good people out here who will help you or ask if your ok. Also driving on main roads are better for me because there’s always a point where I could turn into a gas station or any parking lot if I start to catch anxiety. On the interstate I don’t have that option unless I’m approaching an exit and
hope I’m not sitting traffic waiting to approach the exit. However if I absolutely have to get on the interstate I always stay to my far right so I can get off on an exit if I panic. I even found a job closer to my house so I don’t have to drive 22 minutes out on the interstate anymore to work. I’m taking it day by day and find that moving, walking, talking to loved ones on the phone and taking my kid swimming helps. Taking baby steps is important and it will get better. I find reasons to leave the house like going to buy a Gatorade from the gas station right up the street from where I live just to get over the fear of sitting at the traffic light while it’s red and every time I do I remind myself that it won’t be red forever and I won’t be sitting here that long and if you freak out everyone will think your nuts and then the police might see you then someone may get out the car and get angry because your in there way and then while your doing all of that the light will eventually turn red again now your sitting at the light even longer. After all that reasoning with myself I end up calming down and relaxing. Take it day by day. I don’t want to be housebound and the more I fear leaving, I will actually never leave. Take a short walk to a landmark in your neighborhood or go up the street to the nearest convenience store about 3 time a week. It will get better and remember your not in danger. Praying for you all. You can conquer this.
PS: I’ve actually never had a panic attack in these situations and have always made it to my destination safe. This is what I remind myself before leaving out the door and it helps.
I hate agoraphobia so much because I can’t even get help. Ive had to go to a doctor for many weeks now due to chronic physical illness (not to mention a shrink/therapist!) but doctors are a long scary bus/taxi ride away. Somehow I can walk to a supermarket on a good day but I have to dodge people which makes it exhausting. I used to be employed but now depend on family and some online work but money anxiety, social anxiety, depression, mood swings … life is exhausting! (And yes, yoga doesn’t work for me either!)