One simple trick to overcome your biggest fear | Ruth Soukup | TEDxMileHigh
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- čas přidán 22. 05. 2024
- Do you feel stuck or scared of pursuing your biggest dreams & goals? Maybe you suffer from anxiety or perfectionism. Whatever you call it, the root cause might be fear. Fear shows up for different people in different ways; we don't all experience fear the same way. In this fascinating talk, New York Times bestselling author Ruth Soukup demystifies the seven fear archetypes. Watch & discover what's holding you back. Ruth Soukup is dedicated to helping people everywhere create a life they love by following their dreams and achieving their biggest goals. She is the host of the wildly popular Do It Scared Podcast, as well as the founder of Living Well Spending Less and Elite Blog Academy. She is also the New York Times bestselling author of six books, including Do It Scared: Finding the Courage to Face Your Fears, Overcome Obstacles, and Create a Life You Love. She lives in Florida with her husband Chuck, and two daughters Maggie & Annie. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
"When you shine a light on your fear, it's not scary anymore" best message to end the talk
I'm a self doubter and people pleaser for sure. My anxiety has gotten so bad i lost all my friends and am afraid to get a job because people might yell at me
Im a people pleaser too and I hope you be find in this time. Sometimes you need to appreciate yourself
Don't be so fast to label yourself. Personally, I feel like it's better to say that you've had these tendencies in the past rather than owning them in the now. I've found that laughter yoga can help shift my mood rather quickly from one of negativity to joy and light-hardheartedness. even just a little grin and and a chuckle under my breath is enough to shift my mood to one of positivity. We are here to be happy and to love and help one another to be be good stewards of the planet. Love is the answer.
Jesus delivered me from that, he can do it for you! I still struggle alot because its rooted in pride and fear, but he helped me so much. Still is. Repent of your sins and believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ and you can received everlasting life
@@all1soul thats who The Lord is, love. Come to him, he is waiting for you. Repent of your sins and believe in The Gospel of Jesus Christ and you can receive everlasting life
I used to be a chronic people pleaser but recently I pleased someone so much, and still didn't get any validation from them..from that day I got tired of it as I understood that just cuz u please doesn't mean you'll get what u want.
"I just need to know how to live" This goes through my head everyday. Damn.
That part resonated with me as well. I think many of us need to know how to live, whether we're aware of having this thought or not. So many of us do not know what we're doing. I love how we all pretend we know though. The truth is, we're here to figure things out and most of all to figure out how to live in our skins. And that's different for everyone. I thoroughly believe in each of us having a unique journey but also belonging to those shared qualities (like fear) that make us all human.
@@reginag.a.4187 What would you do?
W
You are not alone
The common theme in all these archetypes is the enabling of oneself to submit to the fear itself, therfore, letting it grow wild like weeds in a garden. Making a habit of doing the things that make you uncomfortable, and reinforced with positive self talk is the only solution. I hope everyone finds it within themselves to face and conquer their own fears and let shine the greatness we all posses within.
This brought tears to my eyes. I have never looked at myself as having fear. I have always tried new things and stepped outside of my comfort zone. But I am also the biggest procrastinator and feel stuck at times but I realize now that it’s fear. Fear that I will fail or fear that I’m not good enough. Thank you so much for sharing this. So authentic and real 🙏🏾
"because when you shine your light on your fear, its not so scary anymore" I like this
My god. I am completely terrified right now, but I know I have to take actions . Even though I can’t breathe, my hands are shaking, I can’t delay talking actions anymore.
im in the same boat as u, lets overcome and push forward together~
I enjoy how “real” she always is. Ruth, you knocked this one out of the park!
I think she did
Procrastinator here 🙋🏾♀️ Knowing my fear archetype and how it can serve me or not serve me has been a powerful tool when it came to reaching certain goals I had for myself last year. Such good stuff. Thank you Ruth for doing the work 🙂💕
Procrastinator, too. Would you be willing to share a couple of the ways that you found it could serve and not serve you in reaching certain goals for yourself?
That feeling when I didn’t need to call it with “archetype” word to realize the experience.
I'm always afraid about everything especially when it comes to my self... when she said Self-Doubter and talked about that, it really hit me. That is me :( thank you for sharing! It's really encouraging.
Courage is the thing that keeps us free
Fear is huge for me. I saw several archetypes and took the test. Hearing Ruth’s story helps and is inspiring.
Combo procrastinator/self doubter here! I love the clarity in Ruth's message and I have identified how these fears show up for me. Working on this daily. Great job, Ruth! Love your work
Such an inspiring story! I loved how she described the fear archetypes. I'm definitely a mix between perfectionist and people pleaser.
What a great TEDx Talk!! Thank you for being so authentic, real, and honest, Ruth. We need more of that in our world. Definitely shared this with a few of my tribe that could benefit from learning more about fear archetypes and how to still follow their dreams.
I can honestly say that I have all seven maxed out. I am pretty much a shut-in, and am on Permanent Disability. The hardest part is knowing that I have very real medical conditions that aren't being treated because of these fears, some of which may now need additional or more complicated surgeries to fix. I Mask heavily as a defensive mechanism, and tend to avoid "bothering" Doctors with my problems. I ignore pains that I shouldn't ignore. I am 44 years old, and haven't had so much as a physical since I was 19. Thoughts of suicide and self harm are only curbed by the guilt of how I would make other people feel by following out those thoughts. I have finally begun getting professional help last month. I am sorry if this isn't the right place for this.
I can totally understand that! You don't have to do all the scary things all at once. Start by keeping a journal of all the things you're afraid of or that bother you. Then take the easiest one and do it. I used to be too afraid to talk on the phone, to order through a drive-thru. I always imagined the worst case scenario and could barely leave my house. But if you just try doing one thing, you'll soon realize that it's almost never as bad as whatever you've imagined. And that gives you the courage to do the next thing. And the next. It snowballs! Pretty soon you'll be doing things you never thought you were capable of, and you'll be making the most of your life, with no regrets! You can do it! 💛
@@JessicaBowman Very kind and uplifting ideas. Thank you.
@@JessicaBowman well said thank you
Please watch one of Wim Hof's interviews here on CZcams and try a daily cold shower. You have nothing to lose, but so much to gain! I'm doing it (:
@@z33boo Thank you for your contribution. I have been meaning to try this. i take your comment as a sign that i would do well to make a habit of doing this. Blessings to you and us all.
So insightful! It's amazing how accurate my Fear Archetype is!!
Not a pessimist, excuse maker nor outcast but I am all of those four remaining characters and I hope listening to this will help me shine a little bit of light to all these fears.
Excellent talk. Until I took the fear assessment I didn't realize the reason behind being an Outcast. That helps me so much.
Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring us to recover from our lowest of lows and face the worst of our fears by knowing what our fears are. My archetype is Procrastinator and things make so much sense now for me. You've helped me turn my fears into strengths and to say out loud, I AM AFRAID...BUT...I CAN DO THIS! Thank you for this insight and for helping me see the fear in a more positive light. You are such an inspiration and then some!
This was so interesting! I had always considered being a people pleaser and rule follower to be strengths of mine, but now I can totally see how those are really fears and could keep me back. Thank you for this!
" No " is a decision right that we all have and it should be respected by all, so don't be afraid to say it whenever you have to. ☺️👌
All the virtues are becoming a medal of both sides when you deal with the wrong people.☝🏻 No need to devaluate yourself in case to mask the rotten personalities issues. Yes you have to realize a danger of this value as well as a thought that a worthy person wouldn’t make you regret of having one.
It's amazing how much knowing my fear archetype has affected even the relationships in my life!
Congratulations Ruth! Great speech!
Thank you for shining on a light on fear and the different archetypes...Thanks for the insight & striving to overcome
Its always very good and helpful to share one’s life experiences with others. This is good.
Basically we all have a little bit of each one of them. Mine, particularly, is the procrastinator.
Girl you are amazing. Praise God you have really come a long way. Prayers for you to continue to grow .Amazing that you are giving others so much hope.
this TEDtalk deserves WAY more views and likes. It nailed it and showed me the source of my depression and anxiety. Now I can work it out and overcome it!
Hows it working for you now
How is it working for you now
And now
Thanks for sharing this. The part about being a people please is something I understand so well, but once I understood the root of that fear and what it meant, I was able to release it and now it does not control me.
My fear archetype is SO accurate. It's so good to know so I can try to get ahead of it!
@Jessica Bowman Procrastinator!
Nice one Ruth. I love reading your blog posts and listening to your podcast. You are an inspiration.
I took Ruth’s fear assessment and it was enlightening to say the least....and right on. I am first and foremost a Procrastinator by way of perfectionism and fear of not doing it right so it’s easier to not take action. After reading “Do It Scared” I now know my challenges....and how to use them to my advantage and even try to change them. So incredibly helpful.
I LOVED this video and learned so much from taking the assessment!!
Wow, this is great.. i have almost all of those, never even realized that there are such differences. Watched dozens of these talks, but not many of them go into actionable steps and details like this.
Nicely done, Ruth!
Gosh! I am glad I finally mustered the courage to find some help with this problem (by writing this comment I am already working towards that). I can identify with about 5 of these archetypes and as I was taking notes on this talk, my mind started working on ways of tackling the problem. Now that I have identified my fears, I feel more hopeful towards beginning the journey of lessening the impact fear has on my life🙂.
Thank you so much, Ruth 🌹❤🌹
I just have one fear but it is breathtaking : the fear of a blank planet
Sweet Young Lady, I was You at Your Age and I'm Now 61. I have been thru Many Experienes thruought this Life but I Am Eternally Grateful for the Strength of You Sharung Your Obstacles. Praying for You❤🎉
Powerful and helpful, as always, Ruth. Thank you! 🙏🏻 We can see how we're both Self-Doubters with a dash of Outcast. We're excited to dive deeper into your book to learn how to work with these archetypes.
Aku tuh procrastinating kalo ga perfect ga mau ngerjain, people pleasure bgt ga bisa nolak, rules follower gw tuh tau kerjain sesuatu untuk otoritas di atas gw, outcast kebanyakan ah palingan juga bla bla bla, excuse maker banget juga, terlalu banyak toleran di hidup ini 😒.. Haih cape
Makasih loh mba, bisa mendefinisikan apa yg gw ga ngerti bahkan sebelumnya di diri ini ada apa 🥰
I am a procrastinator and self-doubter for sure. Very interesting Ted Talk. Thanks, Ruth!
Love your courage and generosity in sharing so much of yourself. Wonderful talk. I am a rule-following procrastinator. Very inspirational and thought-provoking.
How did you overcome the bad aspects of being a rule-following procrastinator? I have read many self-help books such as by Ruth Soukup, but I keep procrastinating taking action!
The most beautiful talk ever for those who are struggling because of fear😍
2 and 5 resonated with me the most
Very encouraging talk~thank you!
Thanks for sharing this video. I can relate.
Be fearless 💓
Im so happy as I watched this. Im a self doubter with all the doubts I have Im not stepping out of my comfort jone and Im please pleaser too I always used to think what others think abt me from now I try to avoid all my fears this video has helped me alot .
Her hair is beautiful. Great inspiring talk i love it!
Very inspirational. Thank you
Wow. This was enlightening. I am a perfectionist and a pessimist. Guess I always knew that at the back of my head. But it is sooo hard to change that!!
Wow... All 7... a new record for me.
I have all 7 and maybe even the 8th. Its amazing
Now I can use this information to start a paper I should've finished, continue a project which should be complete, and go talk to the guy I really like... Thank you, Ruth! Thanks, TEDx.
Thank you for sharing these 7 types, but I am still not quite sure how to overcome them.
Blessed
I resonated with many archetypes. Majorly was with self doubter. And I know what triggers me. The situations where I have to present myself. Be it an interview, a presentation , Viva or anything. First thought that comes in my mind is 'I am not good enough' , 'I am going to make myself embarrassed ', 'I should not even try what's the point', 'I will waste the interviewers time'. I criticize myself so much. I have low self esteem. I feel like everyone can do better than me. Or I have not practiced enough. I want to overcome this, this horrible feeling, I hate it.
I know its just that one tiny step towards my fear and boom it will get better. But I have been hesitating all my life. But now I am going to take the leap of faith and will give my first ever interview tomorrow. I believe I will get better.
best Ted Talk ever ❤❤
I am going through all these fear archetypes. Feels like she is just speaking about me only. Yes I am a self -doubt person and extremely confused person. Sometimes its really hard to choose between something & even more harder when you are an overthinker.. Because of overthinking, I imagine all the possible things to be happened in future even the terrible things too, so this scares me more...
Thank You ❤️
This video is exactly about me! Than I you!!😘
I checklisted myself 6 of 7, except the people pleaser. You can imagine how fear i am in facing everyday situation. I quit my job, lost income, quit college because fear. I have blushing in my face that will make my face turns red in every situation, especially when it cames to "caught in a spot" situation. But last week ive been employed by a new company. Its been 3 years since my last work. People will humiliate me if they saw im blushing. I hope i can stand the bully in my new job now. Because i cannot hide my fear, it is always shown right in front my face. If i success stand the bullies in this job, i will continue pursuing master degree and doctoral / PhD degree. I just want to live a normal live give contribution in sciences for this world
Ruth, you're a rockstar! I've been following along with you for a long time and feel like "I know you." I'm so happy to see you on this stage - putting one foot in front of the other and facing your fears. Congrats, my friend.
انت رائعه
ANy more advice for this issue ?
so true, thx
It's so relatable. Now my condition is like this.
Thanks very much
It’s so interesting thank you ☺️
I honestly feel like I resonate with very one of these fears. I know she said having multiple is normal, but all of them feels excessive
Very impressive, Ruth! As one of your students, I thought I knew everything about you. Well, you surprised this Pessimist.
This was very interesting and helpful to know my fear is mainly based on the “people pleaser” type.
Same here
Anna Moore Yep.
Yeah.. have a little pride on yourself and say f***** NO whenever you want to cause it's a human right and everyone should respect your opinion. 👍
Most of them are very similar. Still enlightening.
Is it strange that I'm ticking 5 of the 7 fear archetypes!
Very interesting especially when you realize that we all have more than one.
Procrastinator and self-doubter 🙋🏽♂️ The good news is once you confront your problems with some clarity you can change. I've changed, friends have changed, managing to overcome some horrible experiences.
Never knew you could be more than one. Wow
Very interesting. I would really like to learn more. I think I am a combination between a people pleaser and a rule follower.
From bottom up I'm built this way: Self doubter, pessimist and procrastinator.
Damn, I can relate to all of the above.
Great talk☺
I fear getting started & Self doubter!
Attempting something should be our priority irrespective of the result it might happen 👍
My biggest fear is mainly loosing people I love and I just can’t its so hard to get rid of it but I am determined to do it
I’m built with all this I’m a mix of all types
i am a big procrastinator, yes i seek perfectionism. Working on it
If you succeeded please help me
I am literally ALL 7!!!!!!!!!
Very Good little sister . Thank you
Message came out of your broken heart will construct millions hearts
The people pleaser - yes.
I have a bit of all, but I think self doubt is at the top.
Brilliantly exposed!
Interersting talk
It is easy to engage in things that are a given. And it is easy to keep doing what you are already good at. This is what I tell my own subscribers as well--The guts come from taking on the unknown. Knowing others may ridicule you for trying when they don't have the sand to step into that arena where the outcome is unknown. The ones who excel are willing to be afraid and also willing to be the storm instead of succumbing to it. There is a more pertinent point. Maybe climbing Mt Everest has nothing to do with your job. Or stepping into that octagon one time after a year of training. Or doing a Tough Mudder. BUT--by making yourself uncomfortable, by facing fear and by driving forward into that dark abyss is where you grow. And you will carry that over into your career or whatever else you want to achieve. Hope that helps someone out there---Charles
Great
I am all of the 7 types !
I am like every one of them
Interesting!! I see myself in 4 archetypes: "Procrastinator", "People pleaser", ""Self-Doubter, and "Pessimist". Maybe there's a primary archetype for me. Is there a questionare that can measure the archetypes?
Sometimes i just feel i am completely lost. i feel i am alone
Actually I fear failing
I don't know to do with my career or family even with may self
Love the jeans 🙂
I realize that I'm outcast and that's sucks because I really want to do things but I'm so afraid that people can not to like that I just stop. I wanna try improve this and stopping having so many concern about the others opinions.
It is understandable that you want to try to improve your social interactions and stop feeling like an outcast. It can be difficult to feel like you are not fitting in or that others do not like you, but it is important to remember that everyone has their own unique qualities and it is okay to be yourself.
One thing that may help is to try to focus on your own goals and interests, rather than constantly worrying about what others think of you. It is important to be true to yourself and to do things that make you happy, rather than always trying to please others. This can help you to build your confidence and feel more comfortable in social situations.
It can also be helpful to try to be more open and approachable. This may involve making an effort to initiate conversations or to be more willing to share your thoughts and feelings with others. Remember that it is okay to be vulnerable and to ask for support when you need it.
Finally, try to practice self-compassion and be kind to yourself. It is important to remember that it is okay to make mistakes and that everyone has their own challenges and struggles. By learning to be more accepting of yourself and your own imperfections, you will be able to build your confidence and feel more at ease in social situations.