Violence against women-it's a men's issue: Jackson Katz at TEDxFiDiWomen
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- čas přidán 15. 05. 2024
- Jackson Katz, Phd, is an anti-sexist activist and expert on violence, media and masculinities. An author, filmmaker, educator and social theorist, Katz has worked in gender violence prevention work with diverse groups of men and boys in sports culture and the military, and has pioneered work in critical media literacy.Katz is the creator and co-founder of the Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP) program, which advocates the 'bystander approach' to sexual and domestic violence prevention. You've also seen him in the award winning documentary "MissRepresentation."
To learn more about TEDxFiDiWomen, whether to attend, volunteer, speak or sponsor, please click on the following link! tedxfidiwomen.herokuapp.com/
To learn more about Jackson Katz, please visit www.jacksonkatz.com
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
He clearly talks about abuse among men as well as women. So stop making assumptions. Listen to the video, and educate yourselves. Listen with your mind and heart, not with your own ego.
Ana Ferrer yes yes yes! Thank you for pointing that out for all the trolls on here
@@carlstevens6977 are you some sort of troll looking for attention online?
@@claireb3004 sometimes people deserve what they get. Fact of life.
@@carlstevens6977 you are absolutely right about that part.
Carl Stevens69 but surely women do not deserve abuse?
You can hear it in the way he speaks, this is taking a lot of energy and focus for him. It's fucking hard to actually stand for something. This man isn't anti-male, he's fuckin' pro-male and so many don't even realize it. It's so hard to stand up to this. Men are kind of scary. And they kick and fucking scream if they're ever implicated. Kudos to this man.
i agree with this.
Men need to learn how to respect women because we are not any less then them. Girls should be impowered to dress however they want, drink as much as they want, date whoever they want. But they can't be because they will always have to think in the back of their minds, will someone take advantage of me, and thats wrong and its not the world that I want to live in.
+Aleš Balon I'm not saying it doesn't happen to guys I'm saying in that certain situation it's not okay and people can go to jail for life if they do that
+Aleš Balon and I'm not going to face that that's a possibility I'm going to keep fighting u too it changes its not just reality it's a fucking problem and it's not okay and it ruins life and I hate it
Men get murdered by other men. And as a man, you should NOT be telling women to face it when it comes to rape. That's fucking disgusting.
When we look out for ourselves, and I do, I do not have the fear that someone will take my clothes off and shove themselves inside of me. That's a fucking privilege in this society.
Remember: All the problems you speak of start with and end with men.
Just a note to commenters here: To highlight the struggles of one group is not to undermine the struggles of another. In speaking out against violence against women, you are in no way condoning violence against men. There is enough space in the discourse to have compassion for all groups. Nevertheless giving a voice to a marginalised group in society who for decades have not had a voice, is a powerful and vital conversation. To come into a space that facilitates that conversation, with criticism for another cause is missing the point.
FR THATS IT
This!! All of this!! I will be using this in sections and in its entirety in the future for just such intrusions. I will cite your CZcams handle when I do!!!
@@deniseengle4269 me too
Correction: Giving a marginalized group voices that have not had them for Centuries (not just decades)
Yes but he makes it seem as if all domestic violent is men against women whilst in reality 1/3 domestic abuse victims are men
I was abused by my ex husband for years. I know all about that "victim blaming" stuff. This dude is awesome here! God bless y'all out there who are or have been victims.
Have you heard of Why Does He Do That from Lundy Bancroft? Its a great book about abusive men
@@mariiveli I haven't yet but that sounds cool. We covered that in a Forensic Psychology course in graduate school. I'm remembering the last name Bancroft in the reference section. I will check that one out! Thanks for the idea.---Emmy
Fillet Kneecapper Extraordinaire
?
Avoid smart mouthed turds.
Male or female.
Are there prisons for women ?
@@mariiveli She knows about abusive men. She follows Donald Trump.
"A lot of men hear the term "women's issues" and we tend to tune it out"
That's kind of an issue in itself though!
bravetherainbow the funniest (and saddest) is people saying « there should be more female leaders saying this! »
When there have been for a long time and no one wants to listen to them except people who’ve already been convinced. Smh
@@LexiLSify true
Fillet Kneecapper Extraordinaire because you are completely useless and have no value to society if you don’t
CZcams has videos on women in prison.
The opposite is also true. Many women won’t take men’s issues seriously and belittle men.
I appreciate his passion, it shows he cares what hes talking about.
Respect to him for standing on stage and giving his speech.
Meidan Rrustemi
He should have given the speech in a women's jail.
@@glenphillips9068 here we go again .
prrrr!!!!
Sadly men like him are extremely extremely less
@@weebyanseil4584 Ah mUst bE an Narssissitic AbUzer LOZER‼️wE'LL FEEL SORRY 4 THE MiSFORTUNATE ♀️ THATS EVER BEEN EXPOSED & UNFORTUNATELY THE ♀️ NOW & 💫EXPOSED 2 🤏🏻 SiMPLE 🧠'D(..'n probly other small Apendages/ORGANZ) OL' u
A "real MAN" doesnt need to dominate others- He is Master of himself and thats what good Leadership is about. - "Human dignity shall be inviolable".
A real lady does not need to dominate others either yet it happens a lot! Quit being so sexist towards men.
@@anthonydeleeuw You found sexism where there is none. Your views are distorted by smth. Do you feel attacked?
@@anthonydeleeuw sexism does not oppress men.
@@juliagarcia4014 tell that to paternity courts,criminal courts,domestic violence courts and safe houses, homelessness and drivers insurance, political correctness, gender quotas for hiring . all these things significantly oppress and unfairly bias men .
@@vansserafim its ironic how men are always to be held accountable but ask for the same accountability for women and then everyone goes up in arms
As an autistic man who lives in a group home, I witnessed violence against the female staff multiple times. To the point where police literally just did nothing, while the male housemate assaulted the women staff. As I was raised around mostly women growing up, this traumatized me greatly. I'm looking to move out into my own place, as there is someone there now (another male) who threatened me as I told him to respect the female staff who work there. (It's mostly women that work at my house btw) and so he threatens me quite a bit. He keeps saying "sorry" for stuff like that, and obviously doesn't learn, although he has the capacity to do so. Hopefully I will move out soon, as even the neighbors have been noticing the police coming and going through at a frequent pace. Well, I live in Minnesota, I work in Minneapolis, so its been...quite a couple weeks here. But my opinion, it is needed. Change must happen. Same with this point being made in this TEDtalk here. We must stand beside the women, never behind. We inhabit this spinning blue marble together, after all. And you know, women help to the make the world, so there's that also.
Skakin Bacon Media I always see we are on this marble hurling through space together. Thank you for calling out the unacceptable things you see. Bravery is rarely rewarded and integrity is a rarity. The only way to fix this is to pretend like it’s not. 💙 keep fighting the good fight bud.
Robert Willis super cool and fresh point of view. You’re right homie, mean ARE the victim. Cool.
Robert Willis cool perspective bro
@@lking8468 Thank you!
@@JacyndaMinor Thank you. I will.
Funny how the comments below just proves how right he is..
Yes they do ❤❤❤
Lee Ara If he's so misinformed and wrong, why don't you prove him wrong?
@Lee Ara Most domestic abuse is bilateral (at about 50%). Problem here is that if a women hits a man it won't show up in bruises that quickly while when a man hits a women it tends to be pretty devastating. So the bilateral cases are often counted as men hits women as the man had the last swing (while the women had the first swing).
In the remaining ≈50% unilateral cases are also cut right though the middle.
Last not least there is also emotional abuse. Often overlooked as there are no bruises.
@Lee Ara look it up yourself instead of focusing on women
@Lee Ara Do you know the real reason why they can't provide it?
This guys is seriously my hero. Every time I bring up gender issues, guys tend to shut me down because they claim that it's not their problem. Everyone needs to watch this because it does affect everybody
@@TheImapotato there's something deeply wrong with you - hope you get the help you clearly need.
@blindtoby you sound like a perfectly fine person yourself
Sorry but it is not, men are their own persons with their own goals, desires and personalities, men should prioritize themselves first, hold only aggressors responsible and leave innocent men out of the conversation.
@@heracrossz7701 It’s literally everyone’s problem. But whatever makes you sleep better man.
@@heracrossz7701 men have their own problems which they refuse to address, which in turn causes issues for women. if y’all were actually addressing male violence in a meaningful way then maybe there wouldn’t be so much blame on men in general.
This one of the most beautiful, well spoken, well informed, and truthful speeches. This man and all others like him are heroes.
Yess
The Bella Zoia Project
🌷👍
Then you dont live in reality
Uh oh I think Bruno berry came here to EDUCATE
@@JacyndaMinor Are you not entertained? I'm sorry. I'll shorten it...blame and hold men responsible. There.
This is so healing...I'm happy that there are men that care about women's empowerment. THANK YOU.
Most men care, the loudest voice's of both men and women are the ones with the worst ideas and blackest hearts.
Soy!
@blindtoby What are you getting at?
@blindtoby you had no reason to comment this, the comment was talking about how it’s good for men to support women’s empowerment and you add nothing. by the way women’s jails exist literally just look it up...
There is nothing more valuable to a strong, godly man than the respect and acknowledgement of a loyal, honest woman. Your empowerment is and always was your own.
I was a battered woman for 16 years, I was blamed, ridiculed and told to shut up and stop lying. I will always be afraid and look over my shoulder, that will never leave me. I encourage everyone to re think that this is a womans fault
That means we didnt move from 1st century and will be hard to go forward, some people would always want revenge after we reject them
It's nobody's fault but your abuser for abusing you, however you stayed.
do you even understand the cycle of abuse? Women in domestically abusive situations are more likely to be killed if they leave then if they stay. You're so cruel.@@joelaisure2769
Please don’t think you will never be healed from this experience. Living in a safe environment, having good friends, meaningful work, and knowing God loves you all help.
I'm so touched. I actually shed some tears listening to him ... Wish more men could listen to this speech...
I am
They would never listen to anything that is good for women or helps women
Share it all over the internet!!!!!
@@thanos3349 based
This is the first time I have ever heard a man speak so clearly about these issues. I wish more men and boys and also women and girls could hear him speak.His insight and passion are enlightening.
We're not listening to an effeminate kiss-a**
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤bbb❤b❤b❤❤
Today I got to breaking point after reading the news, I actually felt like I hate men having seen all the murder, rape and violence almost exclusively carried out by men, and then other men making excuses for them (she was asking for it. What did she do to make him kill her? Etc). And then I found this. Thank you for reminding me that there are decent men out there.
It's a real problem. According to the U.N., in 2019, about 90 per cent of all homicides recorded worldwide were committed by male perpetrators. Men make up almost 80 per cent of all homicide victims recorded worldwide. But when in came to domestic violence, 82% of the homicide victims were women, again mostly in the hands of men.
What's interesting to me about this subject is that there's a social demand for women to stop playing the victim. But when they take their safety into their own hands by learning how to fight, carrying and learning how to use firearms, they are accused of trying to be like men.
All the comments on here are the reason we needed this video in the first place.
Reductive reasoning is not productive reasoning.
EdmacZ
The way you've described this feeble conduct, pretty much elaborates what I've already said. Thing is, I think it's important to not mistake chivalry for cuckery. Protecting women is of course, an alpha trait. But only under conditions where your girl actually acknowledges and respects any shelter of protection she expects from you. Being chivalrous doesn't equate to taking copious shit from dubious bitches.
But it is this impulse to chivalry that gets morphed by social distortions into the highly prominent horrorshow of cuckery. The pertinent "white knight" term causes some confusion in the overlap, but rambling on about it here would probably just increase the confusion.
There's always going to be a certain proportion of sappy and/or disingenuous guys that think the way to get everywhere with women is pandering to them. And with the escalating gynocentrism of modern society, which is facilitated by social structures that spring up through empowerment structures that are the product of enfranchising people who shouldn't be, it's only likely to get worse. As the voters are in a self-cannibalizing freefall of voting for the inflation of the nanny government that they've supplanted men with. Which will eventually burst like a giant federal tick on the sack of the working man. The only, actual longterm plus providers of social funding.
Yeah, conditioned to fall on the sword. And a rediscovery of more earnest "honorable" codes would be golden. But still don't see this guy's sensitive backlash over provocative joke quite makes the grade of cuckery.
You even pitched it in such a way that it overshoots Poe's Law, and would have many spending more time guessing, and be deemed a distraction from the cause of resistance to the march of the Feminist machine.
Not making any critical assessment. Just an estimation of how it would be read.
EdmacZ
That's not to say anyone should refrain from the shitlordery that triggers the feelings tyrants.
Merely, that this guy reading it that way, isn't too mysterious.
And yeah, I realize he said "don't even joke about that shit". Which is holding a sacred tenet about what you can joke about. But I still think he reacted to it like an actually threatening provocation because of Poe's Law.
Yeah, the OP was blathering some nauseatingly vapid platitude that fails the sniff test. And the really real cuckery would be to valiantly shoot down anything dreafully unacceptable, like criticism, or mockery. It's just the degrees on a side of a fence. And he probably just read it like, he also thinks she's dribbling shit, but took your mockery as bad form in the process. It can be akin to wanting those on their side of the fence to be mindful of how they portray the resistance. Whether or not the best manner of resistance is triggering them. The way you trigger can sway the fencesitters too.
The regressive dimension of the lefty authoritarians are already adept and disgracing themselves with their petulant tantrums that demand censure and dictatorial control on account of mah feewings. It works best when they're outraged, and the broader public can't see what the fuck they're whining about.
Milo polling on Feminism vs Cancer is outrageous. But it works because there's no explanation required. It's obviously hyperbolic.
Either way, meh.
this comment is the reason why men suicide rates are higher than women. people like you are the reason why men victims of any violence can not speak of it because we have to man up to it. Go get a refund for your education since they fucked up you ignorant sack of shit.
@Dukkee Lol women do not make men more violent. Stop blaming women for male violence.
I've been working with abusive men for a long time now, and I can support everything he says. If you don't realize what a problem this is and the importance of our own change motivation to ourseleves, to improve and to stop hurting others, it means you're part of the problem.
Would you say they display symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder or CPTSD?
Kimberly H.
There's quite a few videos of women in prison.
They don't look like nice women .
@bob All we're asking for is for you to stand up against abuse if you see it. Why does that have you foaming at the mouth? You're so pathetic, and a coward.
So you pass the buck on too others... nice try...
Would the abusive men you work with have taken correction from their drinking buddies, coworkers, etc ? This is a very dangerous situation where there are no clear lines of authority. The speaker did not explain how it would be accomplished. He mentioned working with the military which is highly regimented with clear, swift punishment; and sports leagues where personal ethics can be written into a contract.
Many men will not intervene as an act of self-preservation, imho. Anyone marginalizing that does not understand the effect of testosterone on the human body.
They always say "why doesn't she leave?" instead of saying "why does he hit her?"
THANK YOU for echoing what I've been saying for DECADES.
He hits her because he's an abuser, what's her excuse for staying ?
If the content of this presentation was exactly the same, and instead there was a woman saying these things, there would be thousands of dislikes and there would be comments insulting the speaker's appearance and intelligence as CZcams pundits create angry backlash videos and direct their followers here.
Chances are you don't think that the reason for the backlash is probably because the presentation is so obviously bigoted and one-sided, and obviously meant to perpetuate a feminist anti-male narrative. His or her appearance is irrelevant to me, and as far as intelligence goes, it seems to me feminist and their lap dogs like katz have no problem insulting the intelligence of men as a general rule.
blackburn9 Yeah. When people state that the majority of victims of domestic violence are women and the vast majority of culprits are men, that hurts my feelings. Therefore, male on female domestic violence should not be addressed.
J No, presuming most men don't know that being violent to women is bad to the point where you feel it necessary to lecture men on what most already know as if they didn't is insulting. And for people who self-righteously practice this insult,that is anti-male. Most men behave very well like human beings and we have an entire technological and scientifically evolved society and world to more than prove the general stater of male behavior is more than enough evidence of the humanity of man. (Unless of course you're a feminist and too entrenched in the idea that man deserves credit for absolutely nothing.) No one denies there are some men who do stupid things, but unlike feminist will with other women, men at least admit our own faults, flaws and culpability. The difference between feminists and conscientious men is that men don't regard the acts of some men to be the summation of total male attitudes and behavior. Katz, like most feminists gives you the most overly simplistic model of men from which to draw his flawed conclusions, and I've called him on it. Attempting to mischaracterize what I've said into some irrational endorsement defending male violence as if its I'm rationalizing by using nature is purposely disingenuous on your part.
blackburn9 There's no denying that there are well educated men who respect gender equality and non-violence. However, one can't overlook the important number of domestic abuse/ female foeticide/ female genital mutilation/ child marriages/ rapes/ unequal salaries for equal skills/ everyday sexism cases in the world. And that reveals that men and women must work towards solutions. By the way, I'm a feminist.
blackburn9
I find it unfortunate yet completely understandable that a cause with good intentions has been turned on it's head. Feminism is a movement for women who believe in their equality - but the simple act of calling it feminism singles out the feminine. Logic concludes that singling out a group of people is to actively seek separation, which in no way creates equality. Feminism is just a big mess.
I only wish you would use the logic of "one does not equal all" towards feminists as well. I'm sure you've encountered many feminists who are too emotional or passionate to debate with fairness and open-mindedness, who promote counteractive ideals, but not all feminists behave this way. One, one dozen, or one hundred does not define all.
You can see how pure his intentions just by the passion he has been speaking. Thank you sir for standing up for us women.
It is quite ironic that women relate more to his talk than the men who this talk is targeted.. Goes to show how corrupt the society really is.
BLUE O - because men don’t want to give up their freedoms to abuse and suppress women.
Xx xX
Have a look at some CZcams videos of women in prison.
Not all women are saints.
@@glenphillips9068 "not all women", "not all men"
Bravo. Genius
This was meant to appeal to women not men, you seriously believe that men like to be treated as the cause of the issue.
@@heracrossz7701 You seriously believe women also enjoy been treated as the cause.
I was a bystander.
This is my story:
My friend and I were travelling home, when a middle aged man entered our tram carriage that was at near capacity and proceeded over to the nearest female.
The female in question was around 14 years old. The man forced her into a corner and pushed his groin into her body. This went on for around 10 mins.
I felt physically sick and I still feel like such a coward for not confronting the man. I told myself that if the girl had a problem she would have exited the tram but it wasn't true. She looked truly terrified and none of us stood up for her. It was a pretty shameful moment.
As a bystander I allowed this man to sexually assault a teenage girl.That moment will live with me forever.
fucking coward!
***** Excuse me? It's easy to call people names from behind a computer but you really have no idea what you are talking about.
***** I think you are missing the point completely. Most people stand by and do nothing. I did that day as did a packed tram full of people. If you had been there as much as you may like to think you would have acted, you might not have. As I said it is easy for you to judge from behind a computer screen.
allthewine No I am not missing any point here. So your attitude is that if nobody does anything about a bad situation, then why would you? You are pointing the finger at your fellow passengers and condemning them for not making the first step, and then you wash your hands. You are innocent, and your fellow travellers are guilty. Oh, I do get your point.
If the assailant on the tram had no weapon, and you are a man who probably matched him in physical strength, and you were not alone, then what held you back from helping the victim? Your lack of guts!
Where did I condemn the other passengers? You just made that up.You should read about bystander apathy. I am not saying it's right but that's what happened.
I'm soooo very grateful that men are starting to stand up to other men and tell them that the way abusers treat women is wrong. Too many times, in my life and other women's lives, women get treated like sh-- and not a single man ever stood up to the abuser, even in the smallest way, and tell the guy he's a jerk. Ever! I love this video!! A courageous man with a fabulous mission. This is THE issue of the planet, even above climate change and global economics.
funny how my mother hit her boyfriend FIRST
I fucking hate this "He has a penis, therefore he should be ashamed of himself because other people with penis have done bad thing"-based logic. Utter bullshit.
Yeah nobody ever stands up to men who abuse women it's not like there's a law against it or anything.
No but seriously when have you ever seen a man get praised for abusing a woman, but I've seen women who get called 'empowered' for abusing a man, so stop talking out of your ass.
Kan1Mies1234 All the more reason men should stand up to the jerks that give 'penises' a bad name. Did you understand the message?
dkmeller1 Watching an asian woman slap the shit out of her cheating boyfriend and a television presenter saying "well, hell hath no furry like a woman scorned"
Thanks for that one lady. Well, if a girlfriend cheats on me I'm going to slap her around.
Lets see the reaction. Equal rights... yeah, that will be the day.
90% on the comments on this place prove his point.
Pamela Moreno Agree. The comments here are the reason why feminism is now needed more than ever.
Msl LogYt I'm just glad that feminism is declining at this point
why are you trying to start a fight? it's people who lack education about feminism like you that this world doesn't need.
***** If you have issues make your own video explaining and raising awareness, bashing feminism won't get you anywhere. So for now, take your anti-feminist misogynistic propaganda somewhere else, and educate yourself before speaking next time. Also, I don't know where the fuck you heard that feminism is "declining at this point", cause last time I checked feminism is growing larger day by day around the globe..
Msl LogYt it's funny you're putting words in my mouth by assuming I'm a misogynist without proves. So tell me what propaganda am i using instead pulling assumptions out of your ass?
I've been molested by a family member, I've been raped, and I've been groped by men. I don't understand why this is so common. I don't hate mens rights they deserve equal pay, custody rights, ability to protect themselves, and everything a woman does. Yet more than 50% of the females I know have been molested or raped. Female family members, my best friend, her girlfriend, acquaintances, coworkers. I can't say it hasn't altered my perspective and I expect men to be overly sexual, violent, and cruel. I'm kind in public. I try my best to stay out of men's way. Men aren't allowed in my apartment. I don't go to private parties. So what is the answer? How do we fix this? It's a pandemic in our culture and we need answers before another generation is raised believing that to stay safe is to stay away from men.
Err ... in my 60 years of life I have found things very different. If you are not a vested interest, perhaps see the video, *How to Get Out of a Victim Mentality by Ruby Fremon*
Supporters of Katz need information. For some videos that tell the truth about DV, see the following:
1. *Dr. Tonia Nicholls - The uncomfortable facts on IPV*
2. *Police Training for Domestic Violence with Donald Dutton*
3. *Julio shares his experience with domestic violence & the justice system*
4. *Christina Hoff Sommers on Violence Against Women*
5. *The Truth About Domestic Violence - You'll Never Believe...*
@@harryseldon6712 oh look guys, harry has never experienced violence against women!! So we silly women and the reserach and the police stats must be wrong!!
@@harryseldon6712 it has come to attention that your male privilege is showing.
Part of the solution is for you to stop being sexist and making generalizations about literally billions of people.
@@nicholaszamir6222 it's her experience dude, she literally said the opposite and made it very clear she treats men with the same respect and doesn't think they are bad?? Tf
You know when you're so angry about something that your blood boils and you feel the adrenaline in your body going, so your words end up more sputtered and thoughts scattered than normal?
That's this guy. And I appreciate it.
If you wonder if this lecture is needed - please notice all of the comments below. How many people took time to write and say: yes, violence towards woman needs to stop! The majority prefers to criticise...
The reason we ask "why doesn't she leave?" instead of "why doesn't he stop hitting her?" is because we don't know the answer to the first question but know the answer to second. The reason he beats her is because he is insecure, abusive, power hungry asshole.
Let me tell you a case then. A woman gets divorced from her husband,her own brothers threaten her. She goes to the police but they don't give her protection because they make her brothers promise that they won't get close to her and hurt her. The woman's family doesn't accept her and she stays with one of her friends,her brothers come to where she stays and stab her 3 times and leave. She gets to the hospital and survives. A day after,her brothers come to the hospital and shoot her in the head 2 times with a gun. Can you actually say she didn't run ? In a lot of cases women try to get away but psycho bastards find a way to hurt them.
AmericanWarrior1776 people DO know why women stay. It's called 'trauma bonding'. Please lessen your ignorance by doing some research.
very true. but unfortunately by not asking, why is he hitting her?, not only will the blame be subconsciously going to the abused.. but the man also goes untreated and the issue continues with no chance of healing :(
And will questoning the girl stop the man from doing it to her and everyone else? No, stop blaming the girl and blame the man
And the reason she doesn't leave is because she is insecure, is a giver type of personality (or is in a vulnerable position), and feels powerless. We know the answer to both. But, we only focus on the abused and blame them for it (just like their abuser does really).
Abusers tend to be receivers, so they seek out givers. Abusers tend to express their insecurity by externalizing it so they tend to seek out people who express their insecurity by internalizing it. Abusers tend to be power hungry so they seek out people that are more prone to dependence (resulting from income, family, diseases, etc.). Abusers tend to be conflict seekers, so they seek out people who are conflict avoidant. Etc...
It made me cry to see a man so genuinely speak about this. Thank you, Jackson Katz.
I was so blown away at how thorough and compassionate this is. I showed this video to all my students this year and had productive and constructive discussions with teens who are on board with making positive changes in this area! Thank you for your work and dedication to making the world a better place! :-)
Did the teens talk about acknowledging and celebrating the good, strong men in their lives ?
What's a "good strong man"? I'm pretty sure it's someone who doesn't abuse ANYONE.
We certainly need more strong hero males who speak up as this guy does.
I wanna hug this awesome man. Kind of impossible to do over the internet. Can we make virtual hugs a thing, please?
Hopefully it will happen.
they should add button for hugs along with the likes thumbs
goldilocksgirly Oh yes, let's pretend that only women are victims and only men are abusive.
christopher rembert did you even read what they said?
Instead of likes "Hugs"
Very crucial point that he spoke about.....the impact of abuse on young boys and girls who witness this trauma.
Finally, for 30 years I've been askng about a man, man enough to challenge other men (and women).... He nails it.
M R.
Tell me about women in jail.
@@glenphillips9068 and…? don’t even start with your paper tiger arguments 🙄
Finally? There are people like this everywhere.
And he is the only one
Love this man. Hopefully other men will listen.
+London Xx Don't talk like you know women. I hope I find someone that thinks like him.
@Fox Mulder wtf ...what is your problem? His speech is great and this is an important topic for all genders
@Alex M "What did he say was wrong?" He basically blamed the victim. "What is wrong with men that they are being abused by women" Really? He doesnt blame women for being abused by men (and he shouldnt) Why the double standard?
@Alex M In his introduction and during the speech. Did you even watch it? Also, show me where he asks the same question "what are women doing to get beat" He doesnt. Why not? He did for men? Studies have already shown that men and women can be equally as violent. Over 43 % of domestic violence victims are men. 1 in 3 women are abused, and 1 in 4 men are abused... but we dont care about men, right? Yeah, screw them, they were asking for it.
Ya BLM
From reading the comments, I can tell that a lot of people misunderstood this speech. This talk isn't limited to violence against women, it is against violence in general. All he did was connecting the "violence" issue with the "violence against women" issue. He's saying that when a man gets violent towards another man it is the same issue as when a man gets violent towards a woman. It's that simple. Currently, violence against women gets systematically put in a "women's issues" box, therefore most man ignore it, but the truth is that it's everybody's problem because the same issues that causes men to commit violence against women also causes men to commit violence towards other men and children.
So why not just call it "violence"? Why do you need to play identity politics? Why the need to focus on one gender, one race, two parties etc.? It just creates polarisation of more hate and misunderstanding.
You say that as if men who ignore women issues are all activists against violence in general but oblivious to violence against women which is really inaccurate.
What about when the violence is by women?
@@bloodfiredrake7259 There are different videos on that. It is a prevalent issue, but that’s not what this issue is about.
the video is clearly titled "Violence against women..." yes his speech touched on both violence against men and women but it was specifically focused on violence against women. This video was meant for people like you, yet you learned nothing from it.
it is not just about women. it is about all of us. like he said... race, gender, religion and so on. everyone of us.
if i would saw a woman who is hurting a man (verbally and\or phisically) i would say: "hey, stop it. why did you do that?"
or with a gay or hetero or black or white or pink etc.
the main message is that: we are all live in this planet so just be tolerant to each other and try not to hurt anyone. and if you saw someone did, be brave enough to say: "this is not right".
L-Anna Del Rei hey, great comment
Men should not get more cred for talking about this issue than women. But we need more of us to do so badly.
Your Quirk
Wonder why there are women's prisons ?
@@glenphillips9068 lol what
Do you believe women, not men, need to take responsibility for this then?
@@lianxie5582 I think you misunderstand me.
The issue is that often men who do so get alot of praise, while women get to hear that they are nagging and speak too much about it. "Not all men" and so on.
But we need men to do so, exactly because some men won't listen to women and need those they respect to put the foot down
If it can contribute changing things, I really don’t care who gets credit.
The only man who majored in Women's Studies. Respect.
hhahaha wasted cash
Joke men bashing gender studies WOW!
Mark Robson
Jails filled with women.
Must all be innocent.
Mark Robson
CZcams has many videos of women in jail.
That's worth considering.
Preach, my Brother in this cold, hard world! Peace be to you. Xo
Better Health Better Life Amen 🙏🏼
The really sad part about all of this is just how horribly human life has been damaged by violence. Women have been oppressed. But also, men have had their true potential deflated. They wont ever know how it feels to be truly loved.
Is it powerful and amazing because a man is saying it? Many women have expressed all these ideas, articulately and passionately, prior to - and alongside, this man (as he outlined). I think we should really be commending him for using his power and privilege to elevate an already well researched and proven issue. Not so much what he says, but just that he is willing to say it!
Men’s emotional and verbal abuse is underrated for the amount of damage this does. I was with an emotional & verbal abusive man for 2ys, it’s going to take me years to recover from the degradation, the hurt and the sock that someone you love could abuse you this way. To realize a relationship gave you PTSD is stunning.
You mean someone saying mean words is on par with violent attacks, murder ,acid attacks and physical harm?
That sucks. It is much worse than physical abuse because it's easily dismissed due to a lack of physical wounds. However, emotional and mental abuse tears at your sense of trust in humanity. And that sense of trust is necessary to enjoy life to the fullest. If someone who professes to love you disregards your humanity by saying and treating you in degrading ways, not only do you lose trust in humanity, but you have to rebuild the dignity that loved one destroyed. But he was a weak man that needed to do terrible things in order to attain a sense of self I'm so sorry. No one should ever endure that. No one deserves that. It's sad that many people can't see the real harm this causes. Much love to you ❤
@@spellcheck5393 You obviously don't get it.
Fantastic. That's the kind of men, the kind of people, that actually build a better world.
Not acknowledging woman's aggressive behavior that incites men's aggressive behavior is not building a better word.
@@toppcatt5113 It sounds like you were abused. I'm sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, the statistics show that women are twice as likely as men to be victims of abuse. Hence, why his talk centers around the constructive engagement of men in this situation. Still, it doesn't make it right that it happened to you. You count too.
Amen! MEN need to hold eachother accountable and support and protect women children and other men from abuse. my son sanity has been deeply effected by it and challenges every sexist toxic man around him. does not abide guys putting down women in any way.
Men are not required to protect women. Their role isn't to police or be a father to other men. Men are not entitled to womens attention. Women arent mens shrinks. We should all care only about ourselves. I should care about myself and you should care about yourself. I cant save you, so just save yourself. No one can save me. If I were to be in trouble im on my own.. if I were to jump off the bridge there will be no one that would care. Its normal in this day and age.
You raised him right. Wish more boys are raised this way
Why can’t men just empathize with women and the things we face due to the patriarchy. This was very refreshing to see this man speak on this 🖤
There's no patriarchy. You'll always have the best for the job. Women don't emphatize with mens issues or men in general either.
wattch the red pill
Because women never return the favor
@@leo-lh4oy Imagine thinking a demographic that's been oppressed for thousands of years by YOUR demographic owes you ANYTHING. Every single one of you prove our point, and let me tell you; You are the reason women are opting out of dating, marriage and having kids, en masse. We're done, pat yourselves on the back.
@@nomi_M What an awful way to think. In any functioning society, people must empathize with each other.
I also don't see what "your demographic" means. People are not responsible for the actions of "their demographic".
This brought me to tears. Nothing has been more relevant in my life.
Thank you for your courage. I was surprisingly pleased to hear your lecture about violence against women. Thank you for being on our side. We really need true leaders to care for Both men and women issues in our world.
This video is excellent!
South Africa is in a crisis of gender- based violence right now.
If we can get and keep the conversations going, this crisis in our country will start to turn around.
This is definitely worth the listen, especially for men.
To all of the people talking about male domestic violence victims...the truth is that we don’t know what the true number of victims are even with statistics because a lot of domestic violence can go unreported for both male and female victims. A lot of people who have abusive partners are afraid to report it because of the possibility of their abusive partner hurting them. This isn’t a gendered issue. I just wish MRAs and Feminists would stop fighting over ‘who has it worse’ and just agree that this is an issue that we all need to teach about. We should teach our children what an abusive and controlling relationship looks like and how to spot warning signs. Also offer resources for both women and men, which may include therapy or couples therapy. People need to stop feeling ashamed for their mental health issues. Therapy isn’t just for the mentally ill. Having good mental health should be important to everyone.
This was actually pretty based not gonna lie. I hate women but this is a good post. I can respect you non biased view and your openness to both sides. Thumbs up
Agreed, we need to help everyone. i jus wish people would cooperate, but with how political this subject is even in research i don't think that'll happen for a while
This talk should be screened in all schools, work environments, and family movie nights.
So that all the boys can get an idea that they are born to be devils ?
This man is such a mess. Don't you know that women also are oppressers. Ooh no you just show a blind eye towards that.
I agree.
Is it powerful and amazing because a man is saying it? Many women have expressed all these ideas, articulately and passionately, prior to - and alongside, this man (as he outlined). I think we should really be commending him for using his power and privilege to elevate an already well researched and proven issue. Not so much what he says, but just that he is willing to say it!
its so refreshing to see a male feminist.
+Kawaii Girl Juanita well he can't truly be a feminist because he's male.. he can only be an ally.
Keksimus Maximus feminism does not make men look bad. It’s a fight for equality, that’s not hurting men, unless they’re misogynists. Men should be proud to fight for women’s equality, that’s called respect, and its people like you who bring down men for wanting equality for both genders, who make it harder and harder to get it.
@@gracieg1500 Equality already exists in Western countries.
Jason MMA equal rights, yes. Equal treatment from society, no.
Gracie Goble Any proof/examples to back up your claims, huh? I'm waiting.
"In the end what will hurt the most is not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." I could say the same about the way we treat animals: the indifference of a laaaaaarge majority of people is what creates so much suffering.
My son doesn't have a father figure to show him behaviors either good or bad. It's been up to me. He is one of these guys, who stands up to his friends when they're in a group and one of them makes a sexist comment. They're 12 year olds, and the sexism is already deeply a part of their mindset. My kid has lost some friends over it, and he's ok with that. I'm proud of him. He has a strong mother and a wonderful little sister. I'm hoping that his example in some way helps the boys growing up around him to unlearn these behaviors. I'm proud of the man he is growing up to be, because he WILL be a better leader than many men are today!
he's only 12 and he's already loosing friends for their "sexist" jokes...he's going to grow up to be a white knight mangina....that's nothing to be proud of
As a Navy veteran, I would love to live long enough to see military personnel become true defenders of decency and equality in all walks of life. No woman/person should be afraid of her ship mates or anyone in her chain of command. If you're not on board with what this man says you should resign your commission immediately.
Thank you, Sir. I believe it is a leadership issue as well. My sons are defenders of women because of the leadership of their father. One even taught women's self defense classes for two years before entering the service. Thank God for men of valor and integrity who value the lives and dignity of other people.
Have a look at some women in prison videos....
Truth is not all women are nice.
@@glenphillips9068 hAvE a LoOk aT sOmE mEn iN pRiSoN ViDeOs....
tRuTh iS nOt AlL mEn aRe NiCe.
Hav a lok in wamen presan
vedios....
Trath is nat ol wamen era neci
@@tubbolard6514 You can say that if the video was vice versa🤡
@@skjabbar8421 bro are you dense or something? Do I really need to whoosh you?
I got hit in the head with a pan by my ex. I had internal bleeding and coming out of my ear. I still didn't touch her. A man can do some serious damage to a woman, it's the way we are born. She called the cops and shockingly they took her because she lied to them. Infidelity is another one that can make one, man or woman snap. We need to just be good people to each other.
💚
@@yanahakai 🤡
The statistics show that men and woman are equally aggressive. Pretending that men are all aggressive and woman are all victims is not helping anyone.
why did you let your husband hit you with a pan, bro?
You probably called her something you shouldn't have.
I dealt with physical abuse for years. I married again and dealt with mental abuse. Mental abuse affects us for the rest of our lives. The reason we put up with it has to do with how we were raised and who we are from birth, and from the first five years of our lives.
Yes, yet women are judged and victimized twice. Yet so many males side with the perpetrator in many ways. It takes courage to get professional help and stop the cycle of abuse and violence. Cheers.
This is a breath of fresh air! It takes awareness, skill and courage to be a real leader. What we often have are followers pretending to be leaders.
One of the best speech I Have ever listenned to. WE can't STOP violence against women without men's involvement.
And violence towards men Oh of cause it doesn’t exist ! LOL
Mark Robson you can fight against it without dismissing what’s happening to women. Interesting how men only talk about it when we say than men should stop hitting women.
@LifeAsAPopTart in domestic violence, women absolutely have it worse. while men are more likely to be killed in gang violence or random crime, women are more likely to be killed by intimate partners. if men were more likely to be killed by women in IPV, I’m sure we’d be talking about it. yet men are more likely to experience violence at the hands of other men. I’m surprised you guys don’t talk enough about those facets of violence that are exclusively male in favour of commenting on videos like this to whine about being ignored. I’d love to talk about general violence towards men that is majority perpetuated by men! let’s discuss
Violence against PEOPLE-it's a HUMAN issue
"All women's issues are to some degree men's issues and all men's issues are to some degree women's issues because when either sex wins unilaterally both sexes lose."
~ Warren Farrell
That's a brilliant quote
ironic no women agreeing here lol. women only care about women's issues unless it is their son being affected
craig clermond well we see most men saying « as a father of two daughters », « as a son, as a husband », etc when talking about those issues. As If it didn’t matter before they realised it could happen to someone close to them.
Except the part where men are doing like, 90% of the abuse. Of course it’s both of us. It’s an issue for women because they’re being killed by men. It’s an issue for men because a son can’t trust his father anymore. Don’t pretend this is an equal problem. You don’t know what’s like. You have no right to talk on this issue until you’ve educated yourself and learned to listen instead of focusing on how insignificant you feel.
- kool - right
90% comments on here actually prove this video.
+ChainReaction! go ahead
+jikken A Hurray for circular reasoning.
+jikken A I so agree with you. They're really blind.
Nicole Anne Collet The fact that you agree and think they're blind just shows how right they are and how big of a problem you are.
+UserNameAnonymous Now THAT'S some seriously contorted mental gymnastics. Textbook example of cognitive dissonance
The perfect talk. What an admirable man
Esther
A visit to a women's jail might tell a very different story.
Nobody said woman can’t be bad. Stop thinking someone talking about woman issues is about making all woman look like victims.
Its sad that so many people are threatened by this. It has nothing to do with worshipping and everything to do with equality. Talk to anyone, male, female, inter-sexed, everyone has felt discriminated against in different levels. Feminism is merely the belief that everyone across all genders and races deserve equality. Get educated rather than speaking out of ignorance, you'll be surprised to find out what your missing.
Wow, what a logical, well-structured, informative, and engaging talk! There were a lot of good points in there. I especially liked the point he made about how homosexual issues, race issues, and gender issues often implies the exclusion of the majority group when they are still equally apart of the issue. But my favorite point he made was that gender equality is leadership training not sensitivity training. Rather than putting members of the community down and belittling them, a good leader brings out the strength of each member so that the team may achieve the best results.
The comment section of this wonderful talk gives me dismay. The words are so obviously insightful and true, supported by my experience as a male midwife working closely with women and their families.
Blokes, men are not the enemy, the enemy is the stereotypical stylisation of what it is to be a man. Work with your partners, your daughters, and sons to respect and stand to fight for the equality of our fellow people. Not a grandiose statement of PC intention but a common sense approach to what it is to be a truly STRONG member of society. It's hard in a group of 'blokes' to break out of the molded expected 'locker room' talk of pseudo-masculinity to address sexism, and inappropriateness. It takes true strength to stand up for the abused be it on the basis of gender, race, culture, difference or other insecurities.
My sons and daughters will hear how it is a demonstration of strength to address bullies, to confront and challenge the abuse of any person by another, they will and do learn that true strength lies in respect. My daughters and sons will strive to express their own freedoms and the right for others to do the same. Enough with the bullshit apologists for abuse in all its guises.
Perhaps you are part of the DV industry, much government money is injected, that's why there is motivation for the false propaganda. On the topic of DV the following videos, if listened to, will convince any intelligent human that DV is a gender equal issue. See the videos,
*Dr. Tonia Nicholls - The uncomfortable facts on IPV*
*Police Training for Domestic Violence with Donald Dutton*
Once convinced, any intelligent human should see the strong influence that feminist propaganda has had on their understanding of many issues.
Nah Steve, believe me it would be a relief to see no DV. The statistically increased incidence of violence toward women when pregnant is something which I am exposed to and is a major inconvenience. Of course ,if you want to categorise me as a false propagandist motivated by remuneration I will remember that as I am trying to assess if a feticide has occurred from punching, pushing, beating stabbing or shooting? My 23 yrs of midwifery care has had the unfortunate reinforcer of the statistics. I may not be an intelligent human as I concur with the analysis of DV toward women. I have no direct experience of DV toward men from woman, nor would I expect too but I am not naive to the fact that it exists. Of course, I bow to your actual experience in this area and your motivation behind debunking an issue I experience as mere propaganda.
A male midwife is still called a midwife?
10 years later and there's little to no progress on this issue.
Violence... it's a human issue.
How can you call this talk an anti-male speech? A feminist propaganda? Did you all even fucking watch the video? I'm just pissed at this point. I really appreciate Jackson Katz's speech because it's full of truths, and I honestly did not expect to come here and read about men feeling threatened and wronged by this brilliant man. Why do you all feel victimized? This video is for you to realise that there is something wrong with society, not with you. You shouldn't be so eager to bash on women and defend violent men. You shouldn't be so scared of changes, of progress, of equality.
Annie H we're not defending violent men or terrible people who would abuse anyone, we are condemning this man's generalizations of men and white people as abusers and of women as perfect angels who can do no wrong and need protection. most domestic violence is committed by women against children and their husbands, but it isn't taken seriously at all, so you never hear about it. that's a real fucking privilege us males have when abuse towards us is treated as a non-issue so we can see all the disingenuous TedX talks about how victimized women are.
***** The claim that women abuse men more is incorrect, as is the 1 in 3 statistic often quoted. Here's why: www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/the-one-in-three-claim-about-male-domestic-violence-victims-is-a-myth-20150429-1mw3bs.html?stb=fb
I am a white person and I do not take this video as insulting to me in any way. I don't feel defensive when people point out that the world is in many ways structured in my favour because of my race. When so many men believe they're being victimized by somebody just talking about this issue, it's an example of exactly what Jason was talking about at 9:05.
Forest Child kinda like how you deny the existance of men being abused
I don't deny it at all. I have great compassion for men that are abused. I can think of three in my own family - my father, my brother in law and my uncle. I've seen what it's done to them. And it was other men that abused them. That's not because those abusive men were born that way, they were taught to be that way. It's the teaching that is being questioned here, not the worth of men as human beings.
What about women? Do you think they are also thaugt to be violent?
If not, why do they initiate 40% of DV?
I’m a man and I was physically and emotionally abused by a female preschool teacher. What she did in person ended 20 years ago, but the aftermath of it still affects me today.
I was the only student in the class that could speak (it was a special needs class). Every day, she’d pick me up by the chair I was sitting on and literally drop me into a corner. She’d hit other kids in the class and cuss them out, and all the while, I’d hear them screaming and crying. And when I’d turn my head to see, she’d smack me on the side of my head so I’d face the wall.
Ever since then, I’ve been unable to be around small children, especially kids 5 and under. I don’t want to remain silent anymore. I want the world to know who she is and what she did.
Her name is Dina Holder and she lives in Brentwood California.
This is horrible. So sorry you went through this.
Why in the world was she "teaching" in the first place.. 😩 Sorry you've had to endure that and others.
Okay so, by giving her name and the general area she lives in you are basically calling a hit on her.
Don't think nobody will act on this, someone will, someone is gonna see this and take action, and a few other women named Dina Holder are probably gonna get hurt in the process.
Are you sure you can live with that?
I'm so sorry that happened.
@@justanothernerdydude4391 He literally just exposed her, never called for violence upon her so he's not responsible for the aftermath of those women considering he only said his teacher's name.
Not everything is a women issue, she deserves to be exposed for her heinous crimes.
Ah, it is SO soothing to hear an insightful male.... this gives me hope.
Only thing that doesn't make sense is that it appears on TED(...)WOMEN which undermines his statement of this being a mainly male issue (and it will keep a majority of potential male allies from even watching....) 😕
i agree. i saw the title and it said "ted women" i was like hmm. interesting
this is powerful and inspiring, a Man standing up for Women is rare, but a brave, intelligent man with a plan is even more of a commodity and I salute you for being the leader and the change you want to see in the world. Thank you.
As a man if you searched up this video to understand this issue you’re awesome
wow a man speaking up about injustices we face!!🙌🙌👼
mangina.
obvious troll is obvious.
+Lucia Breccia obvious bitch is obvious.
Canadian Owl
great comeback! bravo!
/s
a man who abuses women is not a man
In the end what we will remember is not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
This is so true.
Silence emboldens and empowers abusers.
We have to create a peer culture where certain behaviours are unacceptable, not because they are illegal, but because they are wrong....... So true. If men lost their status for engaging in these behaviours they will think twice. There are not enough consequences, so the abuse continues.......So true.
LOL....the men in this thread are really funny....when he said this is a men's issue he didn't mean, "Turn this whole thing around to make yourselves victims." I just love how men can't stand to NOT get their way all the time and vehemently refuse to do any introspection whatsoever.
When I first heard about the "Men's Rights Activists," I thought, "Oh great! I have a friend or two who were in abusive relationships with women and when they reported instances of abuse, including stabbing, they were dismissed. What do these guys fight against?"
"Charlize Theron in Fury Road."
"WHat?"
Katie Smith Wrong. YOU want the discussion to be about you. We wan't it to be about everyone/ every victim of abuse.
+Katie Smith *Irony alarm screeches.* VAWA: multi-billion dollar organization. Violence against men: Nobody cares.
Mark Pierce the video isn´t about who suffers more, but about specific case of violence, violence against women. You can go and find video with specific topic about abused men or make a video or speech by yourself.
Why are you attacking under video like this? What you got from it?
Erika Johanidesová
He claims, that men are something like the "violent gender", while women are the "peaceful gender".
This kind of stereotyping is not only wrong, but horribly sexist. It needs to be opposed.
This is how you're an ally.
although violence happens to all genders, this video makes a lot of important points in how when women specifically have been beaten, raped, murdered, undermined and destroyed and yet it some how is only a women's issue. that separately is just messed up on its own. and yet reading this comment section is really disheartening. the majority of the commenters dont realize how deep it runs and how historically when women were looked at and treated like just another possession and second class citizens by law and their husbands was an actual real thing. some wives were even sold to other men. there is so much so many people don't even know. especially men because they have never had to experience that kind of oppression. that's why women's right to vote was so important because they wanted to right to be treated like human beings and not be treated like slaves and have a say in their own health, happiness and well being. it's really upsetting to see men argue against this. instead of trying to understand and educate themselves on something that they never had to deal with.
I absolutely know the abuse in all forms happens to men too and it is not as known as when it happens to women, which is awful but BECAUSE OF feminism, mens abuse is also coming to light and we want to take care of our abused men just as much as we want to as our abused women.
feminism isn't just one sided. feminism started from the suffrage of women but has circulated to the suffrage all of beings and that there is a war against all persons of oppression. there's so much more to it and I wish and I hope that people educate themselves on such things and maybe just maybe it can continue to help and change the diseased system for all everyone. understanding and helping the oppression of someone else can lift you up and everyone else up as well. things can change for the better but sometimes you have to realize that there are shackles different from your own and supporting each other can lead to the freedom and happiness for us all. the idea that your life, freedom, convenience and happiness is more important or valuable than another's IS what is wrong with the world.
Chester V in my country women go to war like men
Thank you Horus, you were clearly paying attention, violence toward anyone beyond directly protecting a victim, is wrong and harmful to all of humanity.
@@chesterv1011 because men have never allowed women to be in combat.
Causes of violence
It's very interesting that almost no one talks about violence against man. Does it really exist? or Those voice of abused men was erased ?
That's how man's power looks like!
Very sexist
YES. This is how a “real” man thinks.
@@KingKhan-123 yes saying he’s a strong man is sexist ok guy 👌
@@fighterflight whats your defination of a real man? am just curious
I’m always asked “why are you still with him if he’s abusive?” Well I feel trapped mentally considering I have his child. His threats do scare me rather he does them or not. I don’t want my child used as a prop to control me but I’m scared to run for the safety of my child and family. I don’t know what to do....
Run and as fast as you can. I never regretted that and I know exactly how you feel. I have 3 kids. Make a safety plan and adhere to it. If can't walk away soon enough start working on yourself to strengthen yourself mentally. Even as simple thing as writing a diary, understanding yourself, and giving yourself self-compassion. You need to make yourself a priority. Sending you love and strength ♥
Maybe you'd feel comfortable to leave him if he WASN'T abusive, but he IS. They don't get it. It's not as easy as they think. I wish I were a professional to be able to give profressional advice, but I'm not. I'm sorry he is mistreating you. No one deserves abuse. I hope your situation is better in the future ❤
No money... family or friends support... and don't want to be homeless...
Im right there with you....I called 911 3 days ago and I couldn't press charges.....cause he knows I would have to show my bruises for him to get arrested....
I like the 'shifting the verbiage.' I cringe when I hear the term "battered woman" How about "Abusive insecure creep who abuses people!"
Dr Katz,
I just listened to your Ted talk and was struck by your belief (which I share) that we need our leaders to be the role models of appropriate male behavior in order to reach the masses and change a generation of thought and behavior and the irony of our reality just a few years later where our own president and world leader couldn't possibly fail more completely in this most vital of roles. What a huge step backwards this man's views and behaviors have made towards the goals you so eloquently stated. Keep fighting the good fight-we need more real men like yourself to keep working to affect change! Thank you for your work.
Men have coached for many generations on other topics and now it is vital that you all coach on this w a megaphone. I asked a friend how he would feel if women coached his athletic team and he said he wouldn’t stay on the team or wouldn’t take instruction from “her” bc he felt like she didn’t have what he needed to lead him or the male team.Your voice w other male voices are so important. Thank you for your work!
Good speech. I like how he said both men and women need to start working together instead of being in opposition. Much of what I see today regarding this issue is both sexes in opposition to one another.
I agree with the Bystander Approach part of his talk. Instead of seeing any gender as sole perpetrators or sole victims, we should just see each other as bystanders who can help out someone being abused or call out someone being abusive. This should be the main point of the conversation.
He has a point about status and peer culture, but not only among men and boys. It's sad that it's true that our moral compasses fail against peer culture.
Very good point
I have watched & sent this talk out so many times. Just watching it again and SO GRATEFUL for you Dr. Katz!! You and Tony Porter are our hope--and, as you say, for BOTH girls/women AND boys/men. THE FUTURE!! Thank you for your work
I was a victim of physical, mental, emotional & at times, sexual abuse for 7 years. My boyfriend was my world. The abuse though. It was always on and off. I loved this man with all my heart. I did anything for him including changing myself which led to losing myself. I left family & friends to make him feel secure. I allowed him to hurt me because I had too much faith in him and I was all he had. Sadly, nothing ever satisfied him. He took control and advantage. His abuse intensified. I made his hand stronger & I blamed myself. He only got worse & I failed to be the one to change him. We now have 3 beautiful children/babies and one on the way. He has now been locked away for 3 days. I thought I was going to die one day, so finally, I ran. It was one of the most confusing days and saddest days of my life. I turned in the man that i have cared for, protected and supported for years. I wanted to spend my whole life with him thinking he'd change. BUT I realized that he was nolonger in a normal state of mind and no longer heard me. All he heard and believed (in his delusional mind) were lies and betrayal. This saddened me. I lost him completely then. Because of our children and 7 yrs we've shared, I still think of him & def care for him, but I promised myself that I won't let him back in.. I became a battered girlfriend & his punching bag. My children witnessed the abuse and it had to stop. He loves his children, but he didn't believe that by hurting me it would affect them as well. His mind has always been troubled. He's always had personality/ bipolar issues, but it worsened. I know or hope that if and when he finds help or grows older to realize & understand what he did, that he finds in his heart that I WAS THAT WOMAN WHO LOVED HIM IN LIFE AND WAS THERE FOR HIM FOR LIFE AND TOGETHER WE MADE LIFE BUT LOST IT ALL AS PARTNERS. I pray for him to change for his children and his self. I forgive him. He's nolonger in my arms. It's all in his hands now. 😢❤
You did the right thing by leaving him, not only for yourself, but your children also. Once they are in the world, they have to be #1. I have no doubt love is there, but he is showing very unhealthy life coping skills that get in the way of love. It takes more than love and promises to change. He needs self-awareness and insight into his behavior to change. Only he can do this for himself. This takes a great deal of courage and humility and is very difficult for most of us. Then he has to be committed to change. Unless he does this, YOU ARE NOT SAFE. You deserve safety and so does your children. YOU ARE THAT WOMAN WHO LOVED HIM FULLY AND HAD MORE HOPE FOR HIM THAN HE HAD FOR HIMSELF. Now you and the babies need that for yourselves. You have so much courage!
I love Jackson Katz. I had the pleasure of seeing him when he came to the University of Akron back in early October.
Of course, the fact that all the knuckle-dragging MRA trolls are crawling out of their filthy rocks to spout off their usual list of deflections and whataboutery means that Dr. Katz has obviously struck a nerve. You keep doing good work, Dr. Katz!
*****, Dr. Katz's words must have struck a nerve, huh?
Dex Sims Yes, his words have, I generally dislike it when people act like bigoted idiots.
***** czcams.com/video/qnqInIhah6c/video.html that is a nice commentary
Dex Sims Totally agree with you dude. Also, too many mra scumbags here. TOO many!
Msl LogYt Men right here asking to be heard, and they're being ridiculed and silencend by feminists. We don't want to make the issue all about us, we just want to be included! When was the last time you heard someone taking a stand against violence on men/everyone?...Exactly...
Equal rights. Then equal fights.
So fucking tired of this one sided domestic violence bullshit.
So tired of it's only a womans problem.
So tired of women being able to hit men in the street.
Misandry much?
Evan Lindsay Equal rights, equal lefts. lol
Evan Lindsay Did you even listen to this talk?
Evan Lindsay m'lady much?
Shamwow chivalry is dead. :D
As my equals the ladies can do their own work. :)
let me guess, u think white people are oppressed as well?
Powwerfull speech, the world needs more men like this guy.
Watching this as part of an assignment for the National Organization for Victims Advocacy (NOVA). Not only is this an important assignment, anyone will need to hear this information. Bystanders should speak out, too.
A lot of the commenters here didn't watch, or may not have comprehended the meaning of the video.
Nobody here (who understood the video) is suggesting that all men are abusers or that all women are victims. And just as anyone can choose to be an abuser, anyone can be a victim of abuse. This isn't a specifically gendered issue.
There are lots of great people in this world and they come in male, female, and anything in between or outside of the binary. Nobody is, or should ever be arguing that, because this isn't about dragging the good folks in any group of people down, it's about encouraging them to continue doing what they do to make the world a better place for everyone, as well as go a little beyond that to try and instill the desire in others to do the same.
It's about encouraging our leaders of all genders, sexes and orientations to speak up against all abuse and take action against it when the opportunity to do so arises.
Most importantly it's about the obligation of all people, regardless of anything, to try and work together to solve our society's problems, so that the people of the future will be able to live a better life, as all good human beings have done throughout history.
Changing the way a society thinks is a long and difficult task that nobody can do alone, and nobody is expecting you to. What this video means to say is that you should always try to be mindful of yourself, and be prepared to hold your peers accountable for harmful behaviour, as well as encourage the people around you to be /better/ than that. And, for men especially, we're going to need to let go of our pride in order to make that happen.
In the end, taking a closer look at and raising questions about the harmful aspects of masculine culture across the globe can only benefit /everyone/- because it's not only women who suffer for it.. And I can definitely say that I'd like to live in a world where all people are free to live without pressure to conform to harmful stereotypes. I want the world to be a better place- and to get there, we're all going to have to work together.. And I can get behind that.
He made it very clear that men are responsible for the vast majority of violence, mostly against women and girls but also against boys and other men. You can’t both sides this.
I love this talk. I know that he didn't address every issue of gender on both sides, but I love how eloquently he addressed this specific issue.
This needs to start in our schools! Little boys need to learn this.
It won't make a difference. It's too late.
@@PinkCakesandTea Nothing is too late, opinions change as you get older and move to a different environment with different perspectives. If you think that little kids or even teens will keep the same statement forever, then I have bad news for you lol
very courageous, passionate speech. a topic that needs more highlighting. thank you Jacson.
AcroYoga with Dao Blaming only men as abusers?
christopher rembert there are more male abusers
@@christopherrembert6356 go to 11:20 in the vid, he acknowledges women being abusers, nice try though.
@Dell 15 Wanting equal rights is not wanting "more power" over the opposite gender, when women didn't have the rights to vote and they were protesting, any man could have said "You just want more power" to make them rethink their decision, when in fact, they wanted the *same* power/privilege men had. I see you brought up "God" I don't know who your god is but I'm *guessing* you are referring to Christianity, It says in the Christian bible that men and women are equal. Only an insecure man would see women getting equality as taking over. I hope you have a good day.
I love this so much ! If all men stood up and spoke like this it would help so much!
@Speaking Truth Any proof of that? It seems to me that there are many comments here disregarding what he said despite him being a male so that doesnt really hold up does it?
Women in jails .
I think men would support women alot more if women also supported men. Focusing soley on female issues while ignoring male's issues wont create unity. It will create hate.
Good talk. Not politicised, well-prepared. A true pleasure to watch.
I wish more men could talk with us and for us =(
Men should never be violent to women.