Top 10 Reasons Narcissists Cheat: Understanding the Psychology Behind Their Infidelity
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- čas přidán 13. 08. 2024
- In this video, I talk about the narcissist's top 10 reasons for cheating and why feel justified doing so. I explore the psychological factors that contribute to their infidelity, from their constant need for validation and attention to their need for power and control to their fear of rejection and emotional intimacy. Whether you're currently in a relationship with a narcissist or recovering from one, this video provides valuable insights into the narcissist's cheating ways.
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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Master Life Coach Practitioner, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.
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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. All content is for general information purposes only and does not replace a mental health care of consultation with a health professional.
If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:
Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.
0:00-2:12: Introduction
2:12-2:40: #1: Narcissists crave attention
2:40-3:09: #2: They are in control
3:09-4:15: #3: Struggle with intimacy
4:15-4:37: #4: Bored easily
4:37-5:44: #5: Sense of superiority
5:44-6:08: #6: Sense of domination over partner
6:08-7:22 :#7: Perceived revenge
7:22-8:05: #8: Fear of rejection
8:05-8:20: #9: Exerting freedom
8:20-9:04: #10: Lack of empathy
9:04-10:20: Conclusion
#narcissist #narcissism #covertnarcissist #cheating
My narcissist ex said she knew I would never cheat ..yet she never said she wouldn't.Once a narcissist mentions another male's name they are already cheating. She lost me .I would never take her back .She broke my heart but now I'm stronger.
Can you please explain what do you mean by when they say another persons name?it happened to me after she took the shower she mumbles somebody elses name..
@@sunnykhan5451 CHEATING!!!!
Was her name tracey henderson.?
@@sunnykhan5451they linger before leaving for good because they love to reinjure once more before leaving.
Is there research on whether narcissism is inherited (genetic) or consequence of nuture.
My advice: If your instincts tell you she is not trustworthy, and might be cheating, LEAVE HER!
right
I was helplessly trapped by a female covert narcissist for 23 years. Your videos have provided so much clarity and peace to my mental health. Currently I'm at the tail end of the "research" stage of my recovery and really anticipating the next stage. The work you're doing is quite literally saving and enriching lives. Thank you!
Damn I only put up with it for 5 months. That's crazy
Thank -You, for this Video. ❤
All this 10 things I can identify with why I have been cheated on by the same person over 6 times ( that i know of ) in the past 18 years.
Her reason is I don't know how to treat her
This is the WORSE and perfect mode of narcisism against men.
The more of a helper , the more a protector and the more gentleman you are, the more it will land on you.
@@derrellewis1969 This, 100 percent. It happened to me over four years ago.
Hurts even watching/listening But the only more hurtful than knowledge is ignorance; thank you.
You'll make it...switch gears and direction. Onward and upward my freind, we're right there with you..
@@primalway1317 Thank you!!
Lot of great points in this discussion. My experience with a female psychopath, has taught me a lot. The cheating gives them that dopamine hit they're always chasing. Unbeknownst to their victims, they have a que of potential victims. While they're in a relationship with you, they're grooming their next target. When the psychopath cheats on you, they actually tell you in a way as if that the person they were with was in the past, but it wasnt. They get a dopamine hit out of it. An example, the one I was with just out of the blue showed me a pic on her phone of her on a bed posing full commando. She told me an ex sent it to her trying to blackmail her. That same week prior to her showing me that pic, she had to meet up with a guy for a business deal on some wildlife game cameras, she claimed all the guy wanted was to meet up for drinks and get a motel room, so she said, she declined, yet was gone all day. Anyway fast forward to post break up, friends heard she had left, and it came out she was at that motel with a guy during the time frame of that meet up she told me about. I went there and asked to see one of their rooms and I recall it was the same decor I remember seeing in the pic she showed me and It clicked, she was actually showing me what she did and getting a kick out of it. The female psychopath path views sex as a tool and they hypersexualize their victims. It really doesn't feed their need for attention like it does for a plain narcissist, its more of a dopamine hit and as a means of control for them that they're setting you up to crush your soul, its a game they play for a very cold plot twist in the end. Psychopaths get bored real easy and relationship are more of a game they map out to destroy you, its what gets them off. Another tell that slipped by me was she took a big interest in the show cheaters about a little more than a month before the discard. She would make snarky remarks about the ones cheated on. Its another way she was telling on herself and was getting off on my reaction sympathizing with the victims. When the discard came, it was like getting hit by a train. I got up that morning to coffee made and sweet I love yous etc. I was usually the only one up and making coffe during those 3.5yrs..i went off to work and had the usual textsvthroughout the morning we'd send eachother, nothing seemed amiss, it actually felt like everything was right in the world. 4pm came, i got a text that said; I love you with all my heart and soul, Im sorry. And that was it. She wouldnt answer texts or calls. I stopped for gas on the way home and all my cash was gone except $50. There was over 200. I race home to find my dog gone along with a lot of my heirlooms and belongings. She blocked me off social media, deleted all my phone contacts (figured she did it before i got up in the morning) I checked the back account, it was cleaned out, cash at home was gone. 4 days later i start get getting messages and screen shots from friends asking what happend, she showed up 10 states away with a new man, new life smiling big and eating shrimp on the east coast. She had me run to town the day before the discard to get shrimp to make her for supper that night. I was blown away. The night of the discard when I got home, she had left a movie playing on loop on the TV called Bandits with Billy Bob Thorton and Bruce Willis. Which was one of her clues she left behind among many others I discovered hidden throughout the house over the next few months, intentionally placed, like lingerie in jacket pockets or cards i had gotten her, found in books or between bath towels. I had assumed she took them with because she left the empty box she kept them in, on the bed empty. I felt like I woke up in a nightmare and went insane. Im 6 yrs post discard and have studied these types and the dynamics of these types in my healing journey, I had a great mentor/ psychologist that specializes in these types and what it is about ourself that puts us a risk and healing CPTSD or I probably wouldn't be here today. I know this is long, but its only a small slice of what an experience is like with these types, narcissists are bad enough and feel for those who went thru what they do to their victims, i wouldnt wish it on anybody. I just hope this helps add to this discussion and and shed more light on how psychopaths operate. For me, I don't look at things the same anymore or people. Some good books are the the Sociopath next door by Martha Stout or Snakes in Suits by Dr. Robert Hare, even Psychopath Free by Jackson Mckenzie.
I like what I see on this channel, its straight forward. Good discussion🕊
Jfc dude. Im so terribly sorry to hear about what you went thru 💔
Man…It hurt my soul to read your comment because I can unfortunately relate. Same sort of stuff happened to me.
@@ComicalViolence thanks. The sad part is, how at the time of the discard we worry about them or someone might harm, we don't realize at that time the scope of what they did and believe its all our fault, its really messed up.🕊
@@bigliss sorry to hear that, and as men, we're expected to suck it up and deal with it and our emotions,it isolates you even more. One feels humiliated, if you try to confide in someone, they don't want to hear it, cause they dont understand it or the dynamics. These types of women are just as dangerous as their male counter parts on the spectrum and cause just as much emotional, at times physical and finacial damage,but society as a whole views it differently. Take for example a man runs a woman over with a car, everyone says what is wrong with that psychoco, but if a woman does it to a man like me, everyone asks, what did he do to make her do that, when in reality its rage, these types literally have no brakes on what they will do, then act as if it didn't happen or your fault. Hopefully you're out and healing, having patience and compassion for yourself helps alot.Not trying to take away from this channel, because I believe after going thru channel and talks alot about the female versions of this spectrum its spot on, not many talk about that aspect, but the one thats similar that helped me is peace and harmony channel,like this channel, gets deep into the female version and help me thru.🕊
Wow! That's crazy. How do you know that she was a psychopath, though? Is that what your counselor diagnosed her as?
My wife of 11 years (together for 17) had a four year affair with her close friend’s husband. This was a couple whose daughter was my oldest daughter’s best friend. From day one I never cared for this new married couple with kids that my wife befriended and bonded with as if they were life long friends. My wife also created this collection of other couples with kids that either went to school or played in sports with my oldest daughter. Over the last four years my wife would throw parties and always invite the same group of couples and kids. While this was going on she started her smear campaign and devalue phase on me. The saddest part is the my wife wasn’t discreet with her affair. Her lover’s daughter and her friend caught them kissing in their home kitchen. My daughter picked up on their body language at soccer games. All while I was home taking care of our other two daughters. I was the last person to find out about this affair. Her friend had told all the other couples, my in-laws, and others a month prior. This was one of the most ego crushing and heartbreaking events of my life. The humiliation, the callousness, and the length of the affair was unforgivable. Now I have to maintain a civil relationship with my soon to be ex-wife. I can’t go 100% NO CONTACT because of my daughters. I mostly communicate via texts. If I must speak to her it’s in regard to the kids. I don’t say “Hi”, “How’s It Going?”, or “Bye, Bye” when I see her in person. I just remain silent. I’m moving on in rebuilding my life as a single father; but what my wife doesn’t realize is that this will come back to haunt her in a decade when my daughters are much older. I won’t poison their young minds and speak badly of their mother. They’ll figure it out for themselves.
My take away is…move on, never bother seeking closure, grey rocking, and being the best father to my daughers. What’s crazy is I was even willing to forgive her and seek counselling to save our marriage; but she was so full of arrogance and hubris that she blew me off. They say time heals all wounds; but I will never forgive my wife for what she did. She has no idea of the person she’s lost in me. At age 40 with three kids she is delusional to what she expects to meet going forward. That is unless it’s other married men. She’s become “persona non grata” among the old group of couples and all the soccer moms in my daughter’s soccer team. She still have two or three “flying monkeys” as her supply. Karma will settle the score later in life.
Sorry you had to go through all that.
Emotional cheating is the same. My ex was consistently doing this. It made it worse in a way.
YES its worse! Especially if you are being deprived of EVERYTHING!
@@nicholecornes1915 I got some scraps here and there to real me back in. Haha.
In my experience I was already so exhausted by the time I found she was cheating that I could not feel any anger just shock and disbelief. When confronted she refused to provide any sort of explanation and went on to block me everywhere and call me cheater and drug addict on social media platforms (this is a person who's been struggling with addictions for at least 2 years). It took me weeks to go past the shock and be able to grieve. However the feeling of relief was immediate and has just got stronger ever since.
Its amazing how similar the pattern is among them. When I exposed my cheating ex, she completely skipped over the whole topic of her cheating and proceeded to call me the bad guy and cheater. Im certain she smeared my name too, but Im not on social media. They have zero accountability and go straight to standard DARVO.
That's what happened to me...I was in shock and still am. It's been 6 weeks and still healing. You'd think I'd be happy to gain my freedom but everyday I wait for this emotional pain to subside. Add that to my dad breaking his hip and shoulder....my life is a roller coaster of emotions.
My ex was I believe addicted to the high of getting in a new relationship (new supply), but as soon as there was a difficult patch in the marriage - she found another guy. I had never experienced this before and tried to work things out in couples counselling. Looking back she showed no empathy or remorse and this pained me. I couldn't live with this, leading divorce and she moved in with another guy during the divorce procedure. At the time I was level headed, but later this hurt deeply. I just remember the deep hurts, the pain and difficulty getting over this. They really do mess with one's mind.
Looking back, I only saw her cry once, otherwise outwardly calm displaying little emotion. Also she didn't reveal much about herself/inner world, but perhaps a covert narcissist would find that too hard? She loved to roll her eyes with disdain. I recall when I was diagnosed with dyslexia I told her the news with some tears of relief, but she just gave a hard stare with no emotional connection and no hug of support.
I had no knowledge of covert narcissism and adapted within the dysfunctional marriage, just as I did with a covert narcissistic parent. Very damaging in the long term.
JUST the video I needed right now! One of the best things this year for me is coming across this AMAZING channel on Narcissism to help me heal.
Thank You 🙏🏻
Me too!!
The smart phone, to a narcissist is like Thors hammer to Thor.....next level abilities and damage potential..
I am so broken, I’m almost numb.
Praying for you. Hope you’re recovering well.
This should be taught at elementary school worldwide!!!
Right on the mark. Thank you. I was engaged to a narcissist a decade ago. I discovered her serial cheating when I saw on her phone that she had been pprnographically texting one of her many partners while she was sitting across the table from me at dinner the night before. I was destroyed and broken for a very long time but am now recovered and have been able to move on. So there is a path to come out of the darkness and emerge in the light. But the first step is to disassociate completely and have zero contact. They will rob you of everything that is good and right. It is all they know how to do.
Trust your intuition. If your gut tells you something is off it most likely is.❤
They have empathy...they feel and understand that everyone should have them in their lives. So they are just spreading that around benevolently.
2 big reasons to also consider Lise…
Revenge/Punishment (on former/current partner) if they feel you’ve injured them.
Blackmail / career progression (if this is possible for them )
Basically they care about no one but themselves
Wife of 14 years just left me for a guy shes known for 2 months who lives at his parents house 😂😢 I believe she is a covert narcissist and definitely a discouraged bpd. Im ok kids and house are with me and also ok. Thanks for your videos they’ve helped me a lot❤
I am so sorry for you... I pray you get through this... you did not deserve this
Thanks for the content. My narc ex had been cheating for years. She finally got so bold I could no longer accept it or trust her. Triangulation was also a big issue in the end. Glad to have her in the rear view mirror after 27+ years.
Many narcissists cheats as some sort of preemptive strike. Having grown up with a several abusive mother, they have an intense hatred of women, and think it is only a matter of time before his partner cheats anyway, so they strike first.
I never cheated, nor would I.
Their mind set is one up there playing to win
I am glad I've been on top of the game. Detached and left her before she had chance to do me harm. It's still difficult but I am much more alerted when dealing with strange women.
Women cheat allot more often then you realize, just because someone sweet talks you and helps fold the laundry doesn’t mean that they can be trusted.
1 of my friends has cheated and smoked meth for years secretly but puts on the best family marriage facade. I just smoke weed n get judged lol
Okay? Ugh.
A quick way to find out, is ask to check their phone randomly without warning. I asked to see her call log after she got a mysterious phone call, and 5 minutes later it was non existent. She deleted all her calls and said, she always deletes calls and texts out of habit. Right there told me everything I needed to know.
I broke up with my gf on a Monday...by Friday she was in a new relationship..she says she only met him that week but I highly doubt it..I reached out 6 weeks after we broke up and she said she was getting married!..its beyond belief!. She plastered kissing pics of them all over fb the week we broke up..I was never asked once to be in a picture with her in our relationship..she was vindictive and rude to me when I asked her how she was when I reached out..which I should never have done..the rumination and dreams has been awful. For some strange reasons om having alot of nightmares to the past few months :( very hard to be motivated for anything..your videos help me alot lise..from Mark in Ireland.
Stay strong bro. U got out of hell now it’s time to live your life peacefully. The storm takes awhile to get over but when u over it. It was worth going through and now u know what red flags to look for.
@@Thisdudehere-e6n thanks for the reply Brian I only seen your comment now..yeah this woman whom was kind at the start then started asking me to move into my place after only a few weeks together..she moved jobs n places to stay all the time..one evening in July 2022 she asked me to drop her off at a "friends" house in a part of dublin..turned out it was a guys house she was screwing from her job..she never admitted it but I drove by the house one evening and seen them walk out if it holding hands so she was up to all sorts of games behind my back..I mean who in their right mind gets married after only a few weeks together!..so her and him left Ireland went back to her home country to live in Lithuania..so he's after entering a huge comitment with her rapidly..noting against the guy he seems like a good person..but she's very streetwise and comes from a very different background to him..he also seems to come from a wealthy middle class family..
My ex was caught telling her friend that she reached out to another man. When I asked her she told me she didn't know who he was. She just wanted to talk to someone as we went through a rough patch.
I also saw an additional message where she was mentioning her and I were not married. She told her friend she needed motivation to fix herself. By fixing she means clean up her binge drinking and gambling issues. She just gaslighted me and said by me exposing this I'm comparing her to my ex wife who cheated on me.
Sadly my narcissistic spouse was a strong and broadly built teen but very short in proportion to his other physical traits and even though he was popular in high school he was not viewed by his fellow teens as sexually attractive. This lack of sexual attention from others was very traumatic to his self image and that colored the rest of his life and defined much of his unfaithful and sexualized behavior.
You know who this woman reminds me of? That lady on Dances with Wolves that is white but got adopted by the Indians. Kevin Costner's love interest. Very pretty and has this High Sierra look.
Haha indeed!! 😊👏
When you have this gut feeling, that something is wrong and your partner might have an affair and you ask him to tell the truth because you are suffering, there are three kinds of reaction:
1. He confesses - at least a sign of respekt
2. He denys - that' s a coward
3. He flipps the coin towards you :" Ah, that's the way you are thinking if me!? No wonder that our relationship doesn't work! (the answer of my cheating husband) - that's a narcissist
Meanwhile I'm divorced since nine years and I live in freedom.
Greetings from Germany 🤗
What other choices are there though? lol that’s literally the only choices. So what if they are actually telling the truth by saying no they haven’t cheated? Lol
I was cheated on my a narcissistic girlfriend and it really destroyed me. This was years ago I dated that woman and she was a total mess of a person. I remember she told me she did it while I was in another state visiting family. I was beside myself and cussing her for everything I could. Then, I made a false confession. Just to get her back I told I had also been cheating and I watched this pompous, arrogant and unempathetic person fall completely apart. When she told me she cheated she had no emotion about it and was almost giggling about it. However, when I lied and said that I had to she completely fell apart into a crying mess. She absolutely could not believe I would do that to her. I let that lie hang on until we broke up not too long after. I did tell her it wasn't true and she actually believed me, because she knew I wasn't the type to. cheat on someone
You are really helping me out with my situation
My narc ex friend was also a neighbour and she was running around with another man when she lived here. Since they moved away I heard her partner had married her. I hope the poor man doesnt think putting a ring on her finger will make her behave herself. No chance!
Thanks for all the great videos, I learned a lot of important information!
Thank you soooo much, I truly appreciate your support!
When you have lack of intimacy, no communication, all of a sudden she’s working extremely hard on her appearance, she’s buying new clothes, she’s spending more time with friends, you find out there is a guy friend at work, she’s always on her phone, she’s on Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp and Tinder just to name a few…….there’s a 99.9% chance she’s cheating……her phone has all the answers and evidence you need to drop that narcissist and move on…….also when you are married, have kids, and a home together getting out will be so much more difficult……just make sure you don’t show the narcissist any fear, watch your back at all times if you are still with the narcissist, expose the narcissist for who they really are, leave them as soon as you’re able to and make sure you have no sympathy or mercy on them at any time. ✊
She always told me how men are so degrading yet she would be messaging all these dudes sending them nudes and going behind my back. She did it to herself
She says that to feel superior to those men yet craves the attention.
Learning so much from your videos. Any thoughts on "cheating" as far as what "emotional cheating" can be through texting or use of social media?
Narcissas do not usually make emotional tricks. They don't stay there but they are going to make it happen. The closest thing to an emotional trap, as all normal people who sometimes go through periods of doubt can do, is when the Narcissus tries to make you see him, on a social network, or in front of you, flirt with a guy who You know there's no chance, due to the age or attractiveness of the person they're trying to make you jealous of. They do this to get the emotional currency of anger and sadness out of you, to get you off track, and they enjoy it even though they may cry, accusing you of seeing things that aren't there. Now if they name you and they name someone who has excellent physical condition (they usually mention it), or how good-looking he is, and how he helps her, and you really corroborate that he is young and good-looking or successful, they usually go for them until specify the physical. Sex is your best weapon. They always try to lose you by saying that they have been hurt, that their exes cheated on them or that they are jealous, insecure, aggressive, or that this or that man tried something, they will even show you some screenshots of messages to make you believe the barbarity of what they have tried with her, But they secretly adore this, they need it to reaffirm on the one hand how desired they are, and to obtain the emotional currency on your part by reacting, but they say that they did not accept in any way. Lie. They already went to bed or they will. It is almost pornographic as they show you, right under your nose, this differentiates their behavior from the normal person who cheats. All this already installs doubt and insecurity in your head, and it eats you up inside, and you should already know that they are indeed going for him as a lover. Obviously when they leave you they will say that it was your fault, because you didn't do this, or because you are too much that other, for that you will put something that they accused you against against you. Some self-criticism of yours, that will be the exit alibi. There you already know that I have another objective.
That was really good Lise. You’ve taught me so much on what happened in my first marriage and what to look out for in a potential second relationship. It’s opening up my mind and taking the mystery out of females. God bless 😊🦋🌸
#1 Admiration!!!! Always need to be in the SPOTLIGHT. And # 10 Lack of EMPATHY.. Narc's could care less about your Boundaries or Feelings. Kick ROCKS you NASTY Narc's!!🤢🤢
My ex Narc wife of 11 years (3 young kids together), not only cheated on me with AP on our WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, but got pregnant. 4 days notice and moved herself and our lil kids across country to live with AP. 10 months later, HE divorced her. She already had a monkey branch working and before their divorce was final, was now engaged to monkey branch in a whole other state. Pure insanity. The whole story is too long, but the infidelity and complete lack of remorse or empathy was palpable.......Narcs just don't care.
They have moral compass of a stray dog there broken beyond repair
And they really know how to cheat. Before you catch them you have to be very smart otherwise they can cheat on you multiple times and get away with it. To catch them you should pay attention with their change of behavior bcz most of them start being agressive and criticizing everything you do when they are cheating. So sad!!
Your videos are excellent. Any chance you may talk about whether female narcissists feel gratitude? I noticed that my ex loved to be the center of attention and getting praise, especially when her short-lived friends did something for her during her birthday, but I never saw her remembering with fondness or gratitude something that someone did for her.
Once she discarded friends or relatives, even good things they did to her were later seen (by her) in a bad light, such as when an uncle (who paid for her college) complained a few times that she left college before graduating, even failing courses for missing too many classes. She’d always shift blame or come up with an excuse.
From watching the videos made by self-aware narcissists, if they do experience feeling gratitude, it is brief and fleeting. It’s more of an in-the-moment dopamine high from receiving admiration and attention. Not a lasting sense of gratitude.
All cluster B, male, female or whatever don’t feel gratitude. They can show fake gratitude, but since they take everything granted, they never be thankful nor satisfied
I played my ex back at her own game. I knew she was cheating, i then ignored her and her BS then I went and cheated on her and i then threw her out. Thank god!
I'm now with the absolute love of my life, and although my last 'relationship ' was progressively toxic, I would go through ten times the torture to be where I am today. You will get there.
my wife is exactly like this
No object constancy, out of sight out of mind.
In discovery, my ex's financials showed he had joined a dating site during our marriage.
His "explanation"? He had a coupon, it was a lark, and he wasn't very impressed. 🙄
Lise, I'm glad I found your site. This was about the 30th video of your's I listened to and it described my 3rd wife to a T. That marriage ended 21 years ago and I am still not really over it. I hope that the information you presented will help me. I'm 72 now and am not looking for another love relationship. I was born again a couple years after my divorce and that has helped me cope with the baggage. But I have often wondered why I can't shake off what she did to me. Perhaps now, that I see she was ill, I may be able to? Your videos helped me to see that I have been attracted to narcissistic women, the first and third in particular. And I had one whirlwind relationship between 2 and 3 that you specifically described in another video. I will respond on that video later. I experienced mental suffering as a child, I think my dad was a narcissist in addition to being an alcoholic and, I knew that my mother was an enabler and caught up in her own world, whining about her lot in life all the time, not sure if she was narcissistic or not, but at some point, I realized that my 3rd wife had many similarities to my mother, especially in how she beat me down with her criticism and her never being pleased.... Anyway, I thank you very much for all the great videos. I did work as a counselor with juvenile offenders for 22 years and learned a lot there, just didn't know much about this topic or borderline personality. Praise God for time you have invested in this site. Michael A
Thank you for sharing parts of your experience. I’m glad you found ways to cope. I sincerely thank you for your support!
My exwould find reasons to start an argument that most of the time ended up with her using some excuse to break up with me then when i got the feeling she was already talking to someone else,she says its not my business we are broken up.
We’re on the wrong currency. Our system runs on Dollar Bill instead of Brother Bill creating a culture for these things.
At the end of the day is it really worth throwing your life away for a few orgasms with one of these things?
It freaked me out years ago when I found out “once a cheater… always a cheater.” And that narcissists never change. I’ve experienced a few until I got smart but it’s true. These things don’t change.
You provide an excellent service with your work 🌞
Appreciate the content your videos are on point so helpful
You rock. Thank you
The every point explained by you is true and right on d target .
Thank you .
This is SOOOO sick but true!
My ex fiancé shut me out, stopped being interested in me and used my late girlfriend as an excuse to say I was not in love with her anymore and she is currently housing her not so new boyfriend from Reno where she met him at her previous job and decided to replace me with him without any problem whatsoever.
You ain't the only one
My current wife exhibits some of this behavior. She was raised by a mother who exceeded even my first wife in NPD. They both had weaponized seemingly innocent behavior for the purpose of manipulating and isolating targets to leave us unable to go for help. MY QUESTION IS THIS: How do we tell if we ourselves have NPD as a result of trauma or if we are suffering through the unresolved post traumatic effects of our mothers?
I've heard that if you have to ask, the answer is no. Narcs never concern themselves with whether or not they are narcs. They just get what they want from others.
They can dish out the medicine but won’t take it. Let them get cheated on… they will lose their minds. My ex narcissist would go out of town and cheat. That was probably the boredom he experienced. Maybe a quick ego boost. But he was extremely insecure so he needed his ego stroked often. I found out what he was doing and called him out on it. He wouldn’t have much to say other than “it just happened” Smh 🤦🏾♀️ it’s annoying dealing with a grown toddler.
So true
hi Lise; thank you SO much for all your content. It has made a lot more sense of my crazy relationship. Question for you:
Do you have any experience with personality disorders and polyamory/open relationships/ethical non-monogamy? A year ago, my highly insecure gf decided she wanted to open our relationship. She sold it to me by making it seem like she wanted new sexual experiences with me. I thought this was a terrible idea, but sex sells so I tried it. But I quickly realized it had nothing to do with me/us, and she just wanted permission to cheat. Then she decided she was actually polyamorous (ability to love multiple people) but believe this is false and she actually has a form of NPD, perhaps BPD or HPD or a mix of all 3. Anyway, after watching your content I believe this is true, but just wondering if you've had any experience with "polyamory" or open relationships and personality disorders.
As soon as a girl suggests opening the relationship to other men, show her the door. It wouldnt even take me 5 seconds to kick her out, regardless if there is a personality disorder or not. A woman who is not committed is a time bomb.
Sex to a female narcissist is used as bait. The minute you tell them you love them, bye bye sex, hello cheating. Hating my ex would be too exhausting so l've evolved to the glorious state of indifference.
How nice it is to realize you're too good for one of these maneuvering phonies.🤗
I hope you don't mind me going off the topic of infidelity for the moment. What I want to say is that from all your videos about all the disturbing mind games and manipulations that narcissists perform on their victims, I have found that over the years Slavic East European men are the most numerous and worst offenders as far as narcissism goes. The one act that they do is when their sons become full adults and go out into the world earning their own living these men hate that. These men have it in mind that their sons are to be enslaved to them until the day they die. The one trick that these fathers will pull is when his son finds out that he is accepted by a bank to obtain a home mortgage. . He will tell his son things like , hell with the bank, I will be your mortgagee. You 'll be more at ease that way. The son falls for this , then buys the house and three months later every day the father comes over to his son's house and gives the son an earfull about he is not looking after the house properly, it's a mess and so on when the house is well cared for and in top condition. Honor thy father--yea right. Some of these men will engage in extra marital affairs, but many will not. I am only telling you what I have seen over the past 6 decades.
The "Honor thy father and thy mother," only applies if the father and mother are honorable. Don't let false teachings get in the way of what it actually says or means.
10 Reasons Narcissists Cheat
1. Attention and Admiration Seeking
2. Control.
3. Struggle with intimacy.
4. Boredom. Novelty seeking.
5. Entitlement
6. Domination over partner
7. Punishment or revenge
8. Fear of being alone. Multiple back up supply if you leave them.
9. Free to do as they want
10. Lack of empathy.
So mentally debilitating that they would touch another human being after you fell for them for me it was so hard, long way up that hill, but I will not stop climbing
I recently left my partner as she was going to a kinesiologist about 18 months ago. Her sessions would go for 3 to 4 hours. When I asked why so long she said I have a cup tea snd we chat. Then he turned up at her house to fix her reticulation and when he left they hugged each other. She then came home from a session with him one day with a weird red rash around the top of her mouth...when I asked her what it was she said “oh I put on a lipstick I didn’t like and rubbed it off” this did not make sense to me at all as it was a rash. Anyway couple of weeks ago she held a party at her house for a friend and I was djing at it. The kinesiologist turned up and when some one said let’s all have a group photo my partner immediately called him over and they sat together on the coffee table her with her hand on his knee him with his arm around her...she saw my face but still stayed there and then again when he left they hugged and it went on longer than I felt it should have. She then gave me a hard time when I questioned her about it and said they just have affection because of all the kinesiology work they’ve done and there is nothing sexual but I said it feels like they are too intimate and even if not sexual it feels like an intimate betrayal. Anyway, I left her as I just don’t trust her but wondering if any of you have any thoughts as to would you feel the same as me or what’s your opinion?
Listen to your gut!
Why wouldn’t you check her phone/email? I think rules of privacy do not apply here.
He cheated I dumped him
Yup they can do these things but there is judgement day coming when all their secrets are revealed before Holy God and now it's payday for eternity.😮
their cheating is actually one of the least harmful things they do to you. If you've been in a relationship with one... you'll understand.
Most of the time you know something is off - well more off than usual..They become nicer most of the time.. bottom line you'll know in your gut..
Pls I need help with how to catch a cheating Spouse through her cell phone remotely.
I think some families breed various forms of psychopathology. I studied psych in college as a major along she has spwith bio and history. I became an engineer after engineering school fixing tangible things is good for your mental health. I got hurt in MVA so went to law School to practice law my psych education helped me deal with clients and my engineering helped me solve case issues. Oh I also studied Bible including 3 years of Greek in the Bible. Now Im retired but still Im dealing with a brother and sister who are major psych issues. Violence manipulation lying stealing lying some more and the older sister has lied so well that, she has successfully convinced my good younger sister that I am persecuting the narcissist older sister. Younger sister works hard is as have I. Older sister not so much a worker has convinced younger sister that the whole problem is that I refuse to believe anything older sister says (because they are all lies denials etc.) even when older sister gets her lies mixed up and admits she told two different stories
Recent years I have been able to enjoy visiting my younger sister and last thanksgiving time we drove out to see her. My wife is a wonderful christian very stable person. God bless her.
thank you for your videos. Very helpful. I have sent some of your thoughts to my sisters. Your presentations are so well done and have helped me God bless you be encouraged know you are very appreciated. Life is good I need to get another hat and tee shirt with that on them.
If only I would have found your channel last year...things might have been different.
This was my therapists’ life story she talked about it all the time in session she was terrible 😣
Lise. I was hoping you had an answer to a question I have
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about two and a half years now and everything seems really great. We don't fight argue we are extremely happy but when we first got together I found out for the first two months we were dating. She was with another guy actually living at his house and was talking to two other guys. She was literally everything you explain of. A female covert narcissist after I found out everything I was hurt really bad and was trying to leave her but I could tell how much she wanted to change and how much she actually loved me over them. So I gave her another chance. She actually didn't cheat or anything after that but there were lies coming in months later she showed me how much she wants to change and I gave her a shot and everything's been perfect since. Do you have any advice? Because every day I worry that narcissist side will come out again. Do you think narcissist can change?
Sorry if what I said is a mess I'm driving
For me there is no narcissistic SIDE. Either it is or it isn't. There may be degrees. You must make sure that who you say is Narcisita or simply an insecure person who she cheated on. But if she really has the disorder, they never change. Because as much as you need oxygen they need fuel. You can't take a fish out of water and make it live on air. That is why they are irremediable and incorrigible. That is the true Narcissist.
I felt anger only the first time she cheated and took the 3&4yo kids to a garden party of their potential new dad. Went on until the kids left home, but I just had no feeling anymore. She cheated for attention, never for an „upgrade“.
It's painful when you are not educated and do not have a clue about what's going on. Female narcissists cheat on their partner preemptively due to fear of abandonment, rejection and insecurity. It's an insurance behavior, they feel like they are protected against any misbehavior from their partner side.
Besides them not repeating the pattern, how would you really know if they have genuine remorse or can change? Struggling hard with wanting to believe he can change but after so many lies it’s terrifying.
They won't change
Heal your codependency and get out!
I know a female who i think is a narcissist. She is married but is always talking about cheating with me and other men But all it is is talk. I think she just like to talk about doing it
I was married to a narcissist husband for 9 years and I counted over 10 of my girlfriends he was hitting on and trying to have sex with!! Sending them nasty text with images of himself and so on... I'm so glad I left him!!! Worst mistake of my life marring him. He would never even kiss me!!
You know you're with a narcissist when they try to convince you that you are somehow to blame for them cheating. In my case, the punchline of that was them using something they read going through my private journal as one of their "evidences".
Thank you for all you do! While I no longer really need your videos, I need to make it a point to like and comment for the cause.
Narcissists are some poor soulless devils. I almost feel sorry for their empty and hollow hearts.
Mine would get mad and say I want a divorce. Go cheat then the next weekend we are back together. Then say well we were split up so it's not cheating.
If I done that, and I did cheat down the road. Hell it still gets brought up years later. We are split now. Going to eventually get a divorce. I know they are incapable of showing empathy and remorse, and don't realize their skin in the game. Part of me feels maybe one she will, and say sorry. Ughhhh I hate that I'm holding out hope. I wish I was just able to turn my heart and head completely off to her.
I'm my own worse enemy. 🤣🤣
Gender
Difficulties and identity diffusion. They are the last person to take any adv
Ise from. Th-
ey feel something can't explain it thus messure them for alexithymia and the degree of alexithymia= the degree of hypochondriasis.
The love of my life. We have a son together, she has a kid she gave up because she could not handle her but years after had a beautiful boy with me... 9 years together she left me saying I'll get old bald an fat. An no-one would ever go near me... nothing was ever her fault... we broke up for 3 years. I'm not as ugly as she said I was, she bagged for me back an won me back over so yes I am with her an yet its all starting again
Non narcissists cheat because rhe narcissists withhold affection, and after a while, you are living in a desert, and when water presents itself...
And if talking to your partner about the unmet needs usually results in an argument, no therapy will help, then aside of the emotional loss, you get financial loss
My Narc GF is in a relationship with my friend for about 7 months now, but I can't catch them, my narc GF is sex crazed and uses it for approval and to make herself look competent and skilful. She is basically a porn star, she even tells you to record sex... Now their relationship is going to for many months it does not look like they are going to stop anytime soon. What can I expect from her side relationship?
They will not only cheat but tell you that their new lover is fantastic in bed and that you cannot match up, this is what my narc ex did, I took no notice as I knew by that stage that she would get a huge amount of pleasure from the hurt I would feel if I believed her
That's exactly what he tells me get over it. Socks to be you!!
I've been with him for 31 years he never cheated the first 15 years
Wowww
I thought this video was more new yeah narcs chip at your self esteem those bastards but now that i have 4 years in healing (imperfectly) after being broguht up in a narc family system, and practicing gentleness towards myself and healthy boundaries i know how to choose available people capeable of empathy , when you have to ask a narc for space youl l see it in their energy and they'll usually go into gaslighting, or if you have to clarify something they are quite incapeable of respecting a boudnary usually and will get bitter try blameshifting but for me i gotta stick to my boundaries to keep my inner child safe i say this with awareness after growing up in. a narc family system and my needs being looked over for soe long specially 2 years i lived with the narc parent alone, thank God i found a safe enough person to witness me as a survivor and empathize with me in a trauma informed way, untill i picked up the tools of getnleness myself and health boundaries to be able to stay in integrity to my inner child and true self, that definetly helps me keep finding safe enough people to connect to, and the narc energy is more easily detectable how domineering and pushy they are, the empathic energy is my type of people i love connecting with other emapths in healing and in general, we are worth it , and can stay gentle and ture to ourselves, and take up our space and navigate the world, and keep distance and boundaries from the narc, and take up our space and shine and keep choosing our safe enough peopl, to connect to and get our needs met we re worth it. God speed. we can stay gentle and true to ourselves and find our safe enough people and feel our feelings , and keep finding our safe enough other empaths to connect to and get our needs met. Take care yall
Im not blinded by satan he doesn't give that much light
But what if she didnt know what shes doing.. it fkn hurts so much... I dudnt do anything wrong.. i gave herveverythjng.. fkn everything...
Omg my ex wife in a nutshell! And my recent ex gf who didn’t consider cheating with another woman as cheating! I’m so certain she cheated on her deceased husband (God bless his soul!!) with multiple women and she treated that man like dog crap!! I suspect it was from her shame and guilt for allowing women to sexually abuse her. She dropped too many hints and half truths over the year and half that we were together, add them all up and it points to her lying about not being a lesbian any more (which for her probably meant “not at this moment”) and her sick sexual perverse behaviors. Plays the Angel very well, but loves nothing more than intense sexual domination.
YOU DIDNT SAY "CONSCIENCIOUS UNCOUPLING DID YOU? NEXT YOU'LL
START TALKING ABOUT "ENTANGLEMENTS"! 💙💙 HAHA
Hahahahahaha, i loved him through ten years, a gender transition EACH (one for both of us)
Endless neglect, outright manipulation, cheating, priority games, mind games, gaslighting, and deflection of blame.
I loved him through all of that, but somehow it wasnt until he told me he was jumping from an engagement with one person to an engagement with another, and he never even considered me.
Not once did he ask me about any of that.
I would love to say i was cheated on, but its really more like i was so blinded by my adoration for him that i didn't realize my denial stopped me from seeing he didn't give a damn about my love and devotion.
He asked me why he wasn't enough constantly, and now I just reply with "i wondered the same thing when you kissed me with your eyes open."
Great video and hairstyle.
Is it emotional affair behind the morgan back .
1 Thinking about Stephen
2 talking to Stephen on phone
3 texting stephen when morgan with me
Are these all class a emotional affair
my wife cheated on me because i worked for my ex
she want revenge on me
yes she thinks i should get over it quickly
My then, ex husband was caught cheating and he said to me with sarcasm, “I suppose your gonna be mad now?”)
Need to know difference between a covert female narcissist and INTP personality of MBTI. Are both the same?
I would love it if you did not use the word narcissist so much. Just a request due to the fact he overheard the word.... forget about it😏 off he gies I just know all the meat is here call television up at five and I’ll listen to it on my phone when I go for a walk
Over and over again. l love love love your content’.im thankful I came across uou. I’m not working anymore do therapy us not an option
😢
Lise, I have a lot of respect for your work (what I know of it anyway through these videos) and wonder if you could look into the growing trend of middle school and up boys and men idolizing complete, obvious narcissists. I'm referring to the personality archetype of Andrew Tate. His has a near constant insistence that life is a war for men to claim "females" (the term used most often in contrast to "men" - one has a connotation of being perhaps a worthy individual human, the other might well be any animal to be used and discarded) He believes other people exist as merely competitors (for whom he displays zero respect, the overweight deserve to die and he would facilitate that, "nerds" even if his own son should be killed by stronger men if even by the father, that type of thing) and also so many other very disturbing outlooks on life that young and even "mature" men seem to be parroting and adopting as their personal style, particularly when addressing women.
I would love to see a video on why this is something that lures these boys and men to want to be like him. I mean, nobody wants to be at the bottom of the social ladder, so to speak, but where is this fear coming from? It surely must be a fear combined with insecurity that if one is not regarded as an "alpha" (in an apex predator sense), then one is not worthy of respect or even life at all. How do so many, not immediately see through this Andrew Tate as someone that ought not be regarded as a role model, someone who seems to think hurting others for personal gain of any relative magnitude is essential, praiseworthy and even funny? If ever there was a case of an extreme grandiose narcissist (and probably psychopath), it's Andrew Tate.
maybe he is there to counteract the scummy modern female that is all about her and ffffff you and what can i take from you, women today are shit
What are they like or what do they do if u do the same shit right back to them. Narcissists or not, ain’t no bitch gettin over on me! I know 2 wrongs don’t make a right but they do some scandalous shit!
my life was so hard cos of peoples and why not cos of god but luckly and thankyou an angel has always save my life at the last time if not jesus.really i have do too my crazyness and i was a little bit crazy cos of the continuous sufference from before to born bad examples my choises and pasts lives.i hate god cos permitt big sufferences in our lives doing nothing but im not a devil-----i stay far from they the more is possible.i go pray for my narcisist when im better.is the unice thing that i can do yet for she.i will give you a little kiss to you for what you have do for me.is not much but is make from my heart.there are too much peples that suffer in theyr life for many circustances and god get angry me cos do nothing.will you take cares of they pls god?