Video

This is my NEX to a T. She has discarded so many people from her life - mostly family members and those who are like family.

This video is describing every woman on the planet. Women are just not worth it. The juice isn’t worth the squeeze.

Children learn what they live.

Step 2 Counter Step: if she’s trying to recon your marriage: Ask Her: Can you keep a secret ? You: So can I. if she’s revealing details about relationships Ask Her: Do you have a therapist ? She might say : No You: I advise you to get one. Then Walk Away.

💯

The kids grew up asking me over and over "whats wrong with Mom?" I never was able to put a name to it just until recently.

I think i read somewhere. In conversation. That if you speak in a complementary way about anyone. A narcissist will squirm in their seat. I have a covert narcissist in my life. She Is off the charts 😂 i can’t get away from her. So i just make sure i notice and point out other peoples good qualities in her presence it’s unbelievable. She hates me. 😁

Yep! 100% again Lise! That has been my home life for so long!

Wow!! I just left a relationship that was exactly the way she was. Spot on. Thank you

This needs to be explored on a deeper level and publicized more, so society can become aware of how men can be abused and we can end this scourge of bad women using their gender as a shield to obfuscate and hide the truth.

a really smart covert narc won't show these signs at all. you only find out in the long term that it was all an act. they don't reciprocate relationships, and they don't feel any obligation to anyone else. the passive aggression, covert punishments, and silent treatment comes out over time. they never apologize and they will be offended if you prompt them to consider the consequences of their behavior. they are just extremely entitled. they may use their seemingly flawless performance of friendship/care to justify their perpetual delusions of innocence. because they use passive aggressive & covertly vindictive tactics, they think they are better than others who directly discuss emotional inner workings of relationships and can say out loud, "you hurt me". but they don't understand that others can discuss these topics freely because both parties maintain the bond & hold themselves accountable. they can't accept that telling someone when you're hurt is part of a healthy relationship, because hearing criticism is too painful for their ego to even process; they shut down and they never get to a point of resolution with someone else where they realize that they were still loved & accepted despite causing harm.

All of these were so spot-on! It felt like you were summarizing that 14 year hellride of a marriage.

I've worked with females dx w/BPD in residential homes..in Concord NH when it was #2 in mental health TX in USA and was trained by Marcia Linehan in DBT..was rewarding yet but out..I learned to have humor and boundaries yet it's easy to acclimate to severe cutting..everyday something..

This video was amazing. This is my now ex of 3.5 years to a T, Who is now in a rebound relationship. I knew she had trauma from her divorce and I helped her through that but I suspected she was BPD or maybe Bipolar. I still love her and would take her back bur only under the conditions she seeks help other that what I can give her

In this sínthese You’re clear then ever… There is a absense of not projecting in the other all that. It’s child, always the child, a problematic child.

I have just moved to a new location where I have been frequently cussed out for one month now. I and a mean good and proper how I am an obeah worker, and it also seems like she's demon possessed how I actually discover is that every time I I used the bathroom she finds a way to slander and lie about it not being cleaned ,even when it is cleaned and is very manipulative jealous of me and at the same time she gets mad and slams her door at me scaling bad words at me and accused me of things I do not know.. Uncontrollable anger

Lise what is the exact counseling/therapist we should be looking for in our neighborhood? I'm currently married to a covert and want out. I'm attached to her, due to my own issues but need a divorce to happen. I have three kids with her which makes her by default, always in my life at least for now.

I approve this message. Do convert narcissists can be change?

so true.

Lise Leblanc has the most accurate descriptions of BPD. I was with an impulsive BPD and everything she says here is 100% correct. It’s a mindf*ck and a half. From the love bombing and sex bombing all the way down to the forcing you to break up with them so they can cheat without feeling guilty. Mine would promise to quit having single men over to her apartment that she’d just met to get drunk and stoned until the middle of the night, say she understands where you’re coming from and won’t do it again, only to do the exact same thing two weeks later. It never ends.

I am slowly healing through your video after almost a year and half of relationship with a narcissistic. She left me out of nowhere almost 40 days ago. I was totally devastated back then but now slowly realising that is actually good for me in the long run after almost half a year of constantly being manipulated, gaslighted, breadcrumbed, guilt trips left me totally loose my self esteem. It was quite like I was poisoned slowly so much on for so long that I forget what it feels like to be healthy.

You're a life saver for me. I'm in the process of healing out of a toxic relationship.

Your videos are daily dose of boost for me dealing with my tough breakup with narcissistic ex girlfriend who left me out of blue.

With all these comments, no wonder there is a stigma

What if you see this in your spouse? What do I do?

6:58 Exacrly this - don’t give in! My ex was a narcissist, and she always expected me to comply by being “gentle” when we argue and to never talk back at her and just let her vent/be angry and throw tantrums without saying anything. Eventually, I pushed back, and outright refused to be “gentle”. A few weeks passed, and the discard eventually happened. And to be honest, it feels so liberating! Good riddance!! 👋

Se siete qui avete subito una truffa sentimentale. Nel 90% dei casi non sono disturbi ma truffe bel articolate con la complicità di persone che hanno studiato psicologia. L'aiuto di Lise , è solo il primo step , perché nella stramaggioranza dei casi sono dei crimini.

Good content, but the clips with all the interracial couples are absurd.

i think narcissists attract other narcissists and they narcissist eachother till one of them out-narcissists the other one- so that one calls themselves an empath. if you hear someone call themselves an empath who attracts narcissists it usually just means someone else out-narcissisted them when seeking attention/validation.

Wow

They don't have an EGO. They have a grandiose false self that operates the same as AI. They buried the EGO aged 2-9 because of trauma. Why would anyone want to crush the buried traumatised EGO? CZcams is just full of this rubbish and fake experts on cluster B personality disorders.

Interesting subject. My ex-wife had severe depressions a few years into the marriage. She has been unhappy all the time anyway, but the main trigger was, that we had a kind of contract, that I would bring home the bacon, while she would be concentrating on university in order to finish her education and to take care of our two kids. I delivered on our contract big time (house, two cars, extensive trips, etc...), she didn't. After 8 years she still didn't have her degree and an end to this was not in sight. Depressions was how she dealt with the situation. Causing her basically being unable to do anything and me practically having 3 kids to take care of and running the whole family like a single father, while working full time in a management position in IT. I was able to convince her to go to therapy in order to get her depressions under control and she eventually gave in. The therapist never talked to me, only knew her side of the story. It didn't take long that she convinced the therapist of her never-ending self-pity as a victim of her environment and the therapist made me out as the root of every problem and she had a "pro" now to back up her narrative. It had been complicated before already, but from that moment on everything went downhill even more quickly. Her narcissistic behavior went through the roof. I was the one always being grumpy, she couldn't talk to me, I was handling the kids wrong, I was not caring for her desires and problems, I am the one who should get therapy, etc... the whole program. I gave in to do couples therapy after she threatened me with divorce. Right from the start she was playing her victim role again and in the beginning successfully, so the therapist focused on me as the "dominant and controlling husband" who would have to change to give his wife more freedom. She wanted to utilize the therapist to get me under control and to gaslight me even more. I was defending myself wholeheartedly, because this perception of me was not correct in my opinion, since I was the one who put myself completely into the service of my wife and the family since years. But then something interesting happened. My wife had problems to keep up that narrative and she started to contradict herself more and more. After a few sessions the therapist sided more and more with me, resulting in the therapist calling my wife out: "Don't you think that you are a big part of the problem? The way how you are treating your husband doesn't leave him any chance to make things right for you without giving himself up completely as a person, leaving no room for his own dreams and desires!" My ex-wife became furious. She started crying and accused the therapist to not understand her problems. Telling her that she was the one having depressions and not me, etc... No surprise... that was the last session we had together! Things at home didn't improve either. A few years later... our oldest daughter having psychological problems and being in therapy, life at home was not pleasant. We had a few family sessions with our daughter's therapist and my ex-wife was playing again the victim card for herself, but also for our daughters. That I was the ugly dominant husband/father and that all problems in the family were my fault. The therapist was very experienced. In the beginning she was falling a bit for my ex-wife, but after the 3rd session I got a call from her. She told me that her suspicion was, that my ex-wife was a covert narcissist, because she watched the way she interacted with me (gas lighting, passive aggressive, etc...) and that I appeared to be under complete control of her and I had not a chance against her (deja-vu from couples therapy), She called my ex-wife an "iron fist in a velvet glove". And she suggested that a separation is not always a bad solution. That was the first time I really started to consider this,. It was an eye-opener. I need to mention that my ex-wife ceased all contact to our daughter's therapist shortly after that, calling her an "evil witch". My ex-wife noticed my change in behavior and that she had partially lost control over me. She kept me even further on distance emotionally and physically. We had constant discussions about the huge problems she had with me and that I had to change, but she couldn't not talk about some of the things, because it was too hurtful for her. She kept things as always mostly vage. And whenever I was pointing out something she did wrong, she was constructing immediately a causal chain, that in the end the root for her behavior was always something I did and that she just reacted to me. By definition, I was the cause for everything that was wrong in her life. When I asked her why she was still with me, if I was such a bad guy, she always replied that she loved me and gave me the Darth Vader talk:" Yes, you are on the dark side, but I love you, because I know the there is still good in you." She eventually started to have an affair behind my back. Skipping a few other hurtful things... when I found out, I made finally my decision and demanded a divorce. Did she fight for me? Nope... The first things she did was going on dating platforms and having dozens of one-night-stand with random men... catching an STD along the way., And all this while we were still married and living under the same roof with our youngest daughter and in a fashion that I would subtly know what was going on. One Sunday morning I was sitting with my daughter at the breakfast table, She came into the kitchen, looking like sh*t after a long night with drugs and sex, sporting several highly visible hickeys on her neck. My first reaction was (sounding completely indifferent): "Looks as if you had a rough night...!?" She didn't find it funny though how I asked. Our daughter asked what that was on her neck and she explained that she was kissing with some men and that's what is happening sometimes. Another F in parenting for her. This long story only contains a fraction what I had to endure over all the years in this relationship. But what really broke my heart was, that she alienated my oldest daughter towards me over many years. I was always wondering why she kept more and more distance to me, before she moved out, since we are pretty much alike and always got along great before she was a teenager. My ex-wife had made her her ally and my daughter was completely convinced that I was a bad guy and causing harm for her and her mother. My daughter lives alone now and is in therapy herself (diagnosed borderline, caused by a toxic mother-child binding) and now she starts to realize what her mother did to her all the years and that I am the complete opposite of how my ex-wife portrayed me all the years. That I was the one keeping the family running all the years with unconditional dedication and love. We are starting to have great relationship again (still a long way to go though), while she minimizes the contact to her mother to the absolute necessary since a few months. To all people having a covert narcissist as a partner: RUN!!! AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!! Because it will never get better, only worse... I have wasted more than 20 years of my life on this person who didn't deserve it. Giving up my dreams and myself a long the way. Ruining my health and sanity. If you are in the same position, get professional help. You got abused and your mental wounds need to be taken care of, properly: It will take me years to heal and to become myself again, but at least I have a positive perspective in life again for the last third of my life time...

Thank you Very informative and very clearing things to me Thanks

Damn im male .. i am the narcissist. 💀

Better

An other one is construct you cheating so the can have a excuse on why they did cheat

The last time I talked with my ex (my mistake answered his phonecall) I felt like someone dumped at me a bucket of extremely dirty water... Thank you

Hi Lisa, how can kids of NPD parents stop being attracted to narcissistic partners? Early imprinting is powerful.

Thank you. This is exactly step by step how my relationship has gone. Hes an impulsive borderline. Your video is absolutely spot on. I was searching for answers and this has given me what I needed to keep moving forward.

I appreciate the early caveat here that narcissism comes on a spectrum, like many things. You can be a bit narcissistic or overwhelmingly, constantly selfish. I say this because i recognize conversational traits i, and others close to me, often display. That is the interruption or immediate rejoinder of, "Oh wow! That happened to me, too! I know exactly what you mean... okay, this was about 15 years ago, when i... i... i..." etc. Most people do this pretending, or believing, that they are showing solidarity with the original speaker, relating how understandable their situation is, etc.; acknowledging that the topic resonates with them. A close friend of mine who does this, like other people i've known, defends it as needing to say their part because their memory is getting bad and if they don't blurt things out the instant they think of them, they'll forget them, and they really think their contribution will enrich the conversation. So you see, i am doing this right now, and so is almost every other commenter: Saying Yes, yes, listen to how it happened to me, or to the narcissists I've known! How do we know, then, when the behavior is actually anti-social, self-aggrandizing BS, and when it is merely enthusiastic participation in a two-sided conversation? I think it's how it goes when you call them on it; when you say something such as, "I'm sorry, can you please let me get my story out without interrupting; this just happened and it's important to me that you hear it,"-- the reply from the possible narcissist can be either something like, "Omigosh, yes, i'm sorry, please carry on..." (even if perhaps making a mental note to share their own story later, much later); or it can be what Lise here mentioned, the accusation of you yourself being a selfish narcissist, and the turning of the discussion of any topic into an ad hominem argument. (Now here i go with my "I" story: This happened a lot in my last relationship. We would be talking about some topic that had absolutely nothing to do with my or his psychology or morality or emotional health. Let's say, about flea medicine for the cat. I would suggest it was time for more; he would assert that he thought the cat was fine, that it had only been 3 weeks, or whatever. But to solve the disagreement, instead of turning to something such as "Let's check the calendar to see when it was last given," it would be, "You ALWAYS want to give too much. What is that about you? You just like playing doctor?" And then, even worse, a turn further away from the topic at hand and into relationship competition: "And how come you always disagree with me?" etc.) Anyway, i appreciate the video. Very recognizable and common personality type!

Iam bpd, never been with another bpd. Only npd. I dont bother ppl for friendship or love anymore.

Wish I knew this during the 25 yrs of my marriage to a narc. I would have had stronger boundaries and emerged from the relationship less traumatized. Yes, the narc hates being discarded or reverse doscarded either. He moved on with new supply, a former divorce client he'd made very rich on alimony but not before rattling me to my core. And proceeded to announce on SM to his huge fan following that he had taken tough decision regarding his domestic issues, giving the impression that he'd broken up with me, 2nd wife, 2 kids in 25 yrs. Nobody has bought his lies and he has suffered huge narcissistic injury. I'm really bracing myself for the divorce or hoover, when it happens

I never knew id experienced this until i watch this video. Thankyou for helping process a few traumatic relationships from the past.

Losing trust in other people is what is the hardest part. I dont think im done with relationships in general. I am just going to focus on me and my happiness.

Thank you for this video. It’s incredibly validating. 5 years of a sexless marriage with a wife who removed all my food from the pantry and placed it under my desk in my study because it wasn’t good enough for the kids. Could not have anything I bought in either living room. Always was humiliated in front of Uber drivers and sales people. No affection ever and finally spending $30,000 a month on credit cards on discretionary personal expenses. Then SHE filed for divorce when I insisted on a budget.

My therapist is an idiot. A LOT of therapists are idiots and should never be therapist. I was the one teaching my own therapist and playing my therapist like a pro till I got tired of that idiot and i left her. She could never figure me out she is so stupid.

You REALLY need some makeup

I have been dealing with a narcissist for years. I am an empath and it is definitely not working. I am not sure what to do next. 😔

You’re a gift. Thank you

lmfao thanks for calling me a pathetic tryhard. you sound like my wife