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7 Ways to Detect and Avoid a Sexual Narcissist

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  • čas přidán 13. 08. 2024
  • In this video, I address the topic of how narcissism intersects with sex and provide 7 warning signs that your partner may be a sexual narcissist.
    For information about my Toxic Relationship Recovery online course: liseleblanc.com/toxic-relatio...
    To download my 5 Toxic Tactics Report: liseleblanc.com/optin-toxic-t...
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    / @liseleblanc
    If you have an idea of something you want me to talk about, please let me know because I take your requests seriously!
    About Lise Leblanc
    Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach Practitioner, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.
    For information about private consultations, please visit my website:
    liseleblanc.ca/products/coaching
    CONTACT LISE LEBLANC Through Other Platforms:
    / liseleblanc.ca
    liseleblanc...
    DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. All content is for general information purposes only and does not replace a mental health care of consultation with a health professional.
    If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:
    Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
    Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
    Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
    Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
    DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.
    0:00-0:31: Introduction
    0:31-2:30: What is Sexual Narcissism?
    2:30-4:11: #1 Self-Esteem and Insecurity
    4:11-5:26: #2 Sense of Entitlement
    5:26-7:02: #3 Promiscuity and Infidelity
    7:02-8:11: #4 Prioritizes their own needs
    8:11-9:07: #5 Never satisfied
    9:07-10:17: #6 Excessive focus on the physical
    10:17-10:45: #7 Treat partners poorly afterwards
    10:45-11:25: Impacts of Relationship with Sexual Narcissist
    11:25-12:16: Conclusion
    #npd; #narcissist; #narcissism; #narcissistic

Komentáře • 220

  • @psource2305
    @psource2305 Před 11 měsíci +54

    Years ago I was lovebombed by a female narcissist and one strange thing I noticed was that her conversations were unusually sexually oriented, a sort of thing that is not culturally regarded favourably when done by the female. It was done to make her "irresistable" and "too good to be true" thereby entrapping the typical male. One thing I've noticed is that most female narcissists I've come across over the years tend to be quite attractive, even when it is more the result of extreme efforts to look good rather than a natural born trait.

    • @TekkenOnlineFights
      @TekkenOnlineFights Před 5 měsíci +2

      That is exactly My girlfriend talking about sex with other men or hot stuff like about the weather. It started with lovebombing as well for me and I thought its too good to be true.

    • @davidcosine
      @davidcosine Před 4 měsíci +1

      Evidently this is just my type.

    • @LeeDawson-sm2bh
      @LeeDawson-sm2bh Před 2 dny

      Mine was always boasting about her sexual exploits. She was quite sexually aggressive when she had a lot to drink and unfortunately was very very promiscuous.

  • @natthebratster
    @natthebratster Před 9 měsíci +34

    #5 Insatiable is an understatement. He was so rough and intentionally withheld orgasm so it would last for hours-I would complain about being in pain just to hear "but I am so so close." This didnt happen just a few times but every time. Sex was just 1 red flag there were so so many.

  • @TheOne-N-Only_Mr.E
    @TheOne-N-Only_Mr.E Před rokem +120

    It sounds impossible to have a "healthy" relationship. Humanity is all screwed up. 😕

    • @xaeaxii7777
      @xaeaxii7777 Před rokem +5

      It basically is I want to be asexual so far the ppl have been quite disappointing

    • @Ashepnasty
      @Ashepnasty Před rokem +11

      Nobody’s perfect. Relationships are about learning and growing together. It takes allot of humility, time, and dedication.

    • @JuliusSP1
      @JuliusSP1 Před rokem +1

      Good luck with that

    • @TheOne-N-Only_Mr.E
      @TheOne-N-Only_Mr.E Před rokem +7

      @@Ashepnasty it must be rare nowadays. I've never so must as even seen a healthy relationship in my whole life.

    • @Ashepnasty
      @Ashepnasty Před rokem +5

      @@TheOne-N-Only_Mr.E again, nobody’s perfect. I think a healthy relationship is knowing that about each other. Being humble enough to admit your mistakes and strive to do and be better. Recognizing, acknowledging the steps your partner is taking. And loving them through their days they struggle with it. It’s give and take. As long as there is progress, it’s healthy.

  • @teralecole316
    @teralecole316 Před rokem +43

    These are the kinds that love situationships. I can smell these creeps from a mile away.

    • @zandig666
      @zandig666 Před rokem +12

      God I had this one with the crazed look in her eye while smashn then the drama for 3 days, smash/drama, smash/drama ... repeat until you've had enough

    • @BryantOden
      @BryantOden Před rokem +2

      @@zandig666 😆🤣😂

    • @traceybiles2061
      @traceybiles2061 Před rokem +6

      Run..they are all no good...

    • @zandig666
      @zandig666 Před rokem +5

      @@traceybiles2061 not to get serious with that's for sure I was gonna say the smashns good but even that ain't worth it I had one that was gonna threaten suicide or go to the cops when i "split up" with her ...and I'm like the nicest guy ever

    • @hankhill3417
      @hankhill3417 Před rokem +3

      Then pick a good man

  • @fidelmashelton9491
    @fidelmashelton9491 Před rokem +46

    Thank you so much Lisa. I have dealt with one of these toxic individuals and they are very aggressive in their behaviour. Not knowing boundaries. Act entitled towards you. They like to go online a lot too.

    • @stormyskyz7881
      @stormyskyz7881 Před rokem +1

      Porn addiction

    • @javierherrera8782
      @javierherrera8782 Před rokem

      Maybe you too are one of them.
      And you haven't noticed. Or maybe you are covert narcissist or something. I believe you are not 100% healthy and sane

    • @tonifonseca9178
      @tonifonseca9178 Před rokem +10

      Narcissistic sociopaths are really off the charts crazy 😅

  • @chapo_nz
    @chapo_nz Před rokem +17

    This just broke my heart again... I've finally left her but it's been tough

  • @VWPirates
    @VWPirates Před rokem +23

    I use to call it fuck and run. Excuse my french. My "too good to be true" girlfriend had to do that every time. She couldn't get enough sex and had me on call many times a day but couldn't show any affection afterwards and needed to get away from me the second the deed was done. Well you may interpret that many ways and trust me I did in the beginning. But then I discovered it's got nothing to do with me or my performance or my deodorant. It was just another red flag which, I in my delirious state, didn't want to acknowledge. If she has a habit to F&R! You do the same but don't go back for more. EVER!

  • @josemonge4604
    @josemonge4604 Před rokem +18

    Thank you for this information. This happened to me, and I wasn't even aware how bad it was in the long term. It took me years of healing, and still feel the burden of it.

  • @lynnemccully6014
    @lynnemccully6014 Před rokem +7

    I'm sure you've helped so many people, Lise, especially men, there's not enough information out there for them.

  • @Mike-gv8ip
    @Mike-gv8ip Před 7 dny +1

    They will for sure try to blackmail.

  • @williegorospe6822
    @williegorospe6822 Před 8 měsíci +8

    My wife came from two previous narcissistic relationships. I'm beginning to see that she is a narcissist herself possibly acquired from those previous ones she had. She is quite manipulative and transactional emotionally and sexually. I want out of the relationship before 2023 ends.

    • @austin33785
      @austin33785 Před 6 měsíci

      You are & $#&ed . Best wishes to you.

  • @petersassytruth3069
    @petersassytruth3069 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Wish I had you around when I was involved with a sexual narcissist. That relationship left me devastated over four years. I feel more aware of what I experienced looking back now that you've broken these traits down for us. Thank you. I will continue to heal.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  Před 3 měsíci

      I wish you all the best as you recover from such a toxic relationship

  • @elinesvendsen8046
    @elinesvendsen8046 Před rokem +14

    So many male (and a few female) characters in sitcoms from the 80's, 90's and 00's were sexual narcissist but that was never addressed in the show. Barney from HIMYM, Joey on Friends, Sam from Sam's Bar, Bulldog on Frasier, all tried to trick women into sleeping with them.

    • @RajeshKankavlikar
      @RajeshKankavlikar Před 6 měsíci +5

      The main character in two and half man 😅 Charlie Sheen 😅

    • @CT-bc6jh
      @CT-bc6jh Před 3 měsíci

      Russell on Rules of Engagement

  • @tubab72
    @tubab72 Před rokem +59

    Your videos focus on men and "we" are often more focused on sex than woman are. At least in a way that is more vulnerable to manipulation by sex. So this is one of your most important video's. Every guy should know to trust his "gut feeling" just before arousal draws away the blood from the brain ! Remember guys: do not stick your d.ick in crazy !! ;-)

    • @Eluderatnight
      @Eluderatnight Před rokem

      Crazy pu$$y is the best pu$$y. At least until you realized it was the bait for a cluster B trauma bond.

    • @zuhairreza
      @zuhairreza Před rokem +4

      Agreed but, had a very good laugh reading your comment… thanks for it.. 😂😂

    • @MercedPDF
      @MercedPDF Před rokem

      Best comment yet! :))

    • @medwayhospitalprotest
      @medwayhospitalprotest Před 7 měsíci +2

      You sound like a narcissist tbh.

    • @Number4lead
      @Number4lead Před 6 měsíci

      Oh I've met some women that were all about trying to get me to have relations with them.

  • @pete565
    @pete565 Před rokem +15

    What's interesting is that I see myself displaying the behaviors you are describing. I am male.
    1. I understand that women gather in groups to discuss their sex partners and how they perform. If men did that, it would be considered tacky. When women gather to discuss their partner's sexual performance, it is positioned as liberating. And my partner does not hesitate to inform me of her discussions with friends about about a partner's sexual sensitivity or performance.
    2. As a male, I do look at porn and see a certain expectation of what kind of thrill a man is supposed to deliver, of course, effortlessly.
    3. I do have fantasies, but I never 'outline' them to my partner. She just seems to know.
    I'm very confused now.
    Am I trying to
    A. Live up to a standard of a woke and capable sex partner, or,
    B. Am I feeling the pressure to be be a dominant provider of satisfying my partner sexually?
    Because A. and B., and the effort to address even all the above, almost makes me a textbook sexual narcissist according to your video.
    But I have to tell you, there is a lot of pressure about what a 'real man' is these days, and... men try to meet those expectations from feeling the pressure of their indoctrination (by the James Bond Era) as a 'man in control' and now, in 2023, their emasculation by learning that 'women are gathering to compare.'
    Lise, please start considering the decades of social factors and Hollywood portrayals of 'sexually capable' that force people to expect themselves to behave a certain way, or otherwise be ridiculed as a simp, before assigning them a neurologically atypical diagnostic code and posting a video about it.

    • @pete565
      @pete565 Před rokem +4

      Still... thank you. Watching the video, gave me a third person, or objective point of view, (as if watching yourself from a corner in the room) which made me pause and think about the manipulation I feel I am forced to do, in order to dodge the label as 'not a real man', by society, and even the voice of my father (born 1935), who never hesitated from extolling me to be dominant. He is dead now, and we stopped talking about this sort of thing decades ago.
      But these days, it's not my dad telling me how to be a real man. I have to listen to my own partner, who has also been indoctrinated by popular media, telling me how her girlfriends' partners are so much more 'in tune' with their obligation to satisfy their women, even to the point of doing daily exercises (yoga), to be able to satisfy their women.
      Let's not make everything a diagnostic code with dire warnings.
      Let's look at what the media is describing as what we should be to one another.
      Surely, decades of movie romance programming and ideas of men, have not done well to illustrate what a healthy relationship is. I'm glad you are trying. But the Emily Bronte film noire approach of describing a few behaviors on CZcams as certain signs of impending doom due to 'irreversible, bad bio-genetic programming" is not fully assessing what the environment is molding into THE NARCISSIST, the favorite boogeyman everyone in the "It's not me, it's you." generation (i.e. Born before 1983.) seems to buy into.
      Have some mercy, Ms. LeBlanc, especially when there's no existing or vetted, or peer reviewed approved doctoral thesis bearing your name. You may be ruining lives with your dire tragic, chilling videos for the sake of gaining CZcams subscribers.

    • @davidcosine
      @davidcosine Před 4 měsíci +1

      Self examination and rational analysis are a key of not repeating trauma. Folks with personality disorders can't self examine critically ... very well or at all

  • @motowngirl5891
    @motowngirl5891 Před 24 dny +1

    I went NC after I saw him run over a small child when we were bike riding, the child was on the cement crying, he didn’t even look back
    That’s an example of his violent behavior

  • @HelmerandRawlins
    @HelmerandRawlins Před rokem +6

    One of the best channels on YT, thank you so much

  • @elinesvendsen8046
    @elinesvendsen8046 Před rokem +32

    I would like to know if sexual narcissists (or narcissists in general) also have a pattern of trying to pressuring their partner to engage in a threesome or to accept an open relationship or a poly relationship, even though the partner is uncomfortable and this is not something that the partner wants. We hear about those instances and it fits the pattern of narcissism: The narcissist believes he (or in more rare cases she) is so great that he deserves multiple women. He is after all God's gift to women in the bedroom, and one partner couldn't possible satisfy his needs. He not only wants this, but is entitled to this, because of his inflated ego, one partner is clearly not enough. And because the sex partners are only viewed as toys or objects, they are seen as interchangeable, having sex with two women at the same time is really to him just like ordering extra fries with his burger - he doesn't see them as persons, but objects to satisfy his needs. And he therefore doesn't care if this is something they want or not, or if the arrangement makes them uncomfortable, jealous or sad. He feels so entitled that he feels that it's his right to pressure his partner to accept this, even though she only does it for his sake. On the other hand, he gets wildly jealous if his partner wants to have sex with another man. If this happened, he might freak out and try to backpedal, for example insisting that they close the open relationship again.
    This would also explain why we see this behavior in for example religious cult leaders (who for example have several wives) and some famous people - they have an inflated ego in general.
    Just a disclaimer: This is not about people in open/poly relationships or threesomes where all parties enthusiastically consent. But in all those cases where one part tries to talk the other part(ies) into the arrangement, and they might accept because they are afraid of losing their partner.

    • @copelandcole799
      @copelandcole799 Před rokem +4

      Mine said she was in a poly relationship with a previous partner. I now firmly believe she did this without him going along willingly. She did a reverse discard on me when I finally had enough of her blatantly flirting with other men and basically bragging about it. The final straw was her saying she might have a 3some when I was out of town and, "no hard feelings!" I did exactly what she wanted, told her to get the hell out, so she could tell everyone I dumped her. Now she's a "unicorn", having dates with a couple, being rare that a single woman has sex with with both parties as a couple. Which she claimed she *never* wanted to do. They do sexually what they want, whether you go along or not.

    • @debimary6812
      @debimary6812 Před 11 měsíci +1

      Mine wanted other men involved. A big no no. He would even try to put me in dangerous situations to achieve this. Luckily I stood up for myself and got rid.

    • @lilyjane1011
      @lilyjane1011 Před 9 měsíci +1

      Yep. I've had that! All narcs 🤷🏼‍♀️

    • @bonnielee7134
      @bonnielee7134 Před 7 měsíci

      It just goes to show you what hypocrites they are. They want to control the, “ game “. They want to do what they want to do, but you can’t. Why? Because they don’t want to feel, hurt, rejected, jealous and mad that you choose the other partner more than them. Oh, but it’s ok that they do that to you because you don’t matter. You’re just an object to them. They also don’t want you to screw with another partner for fear of you two hooking up and you leave them. Then they have no more free hooker, cook, maid, pay 1/2 the living costs, human punching bag for bully supply.

    • @bonnielee7134
      @bonnielee7134 Před 7 měsíci

      It just goes to show you what hypocrites they are. They want to control the, “ game “. They want to do what they want to do, but you can’t. Why? Because they don’t want to feel, hurt, rejected, jealous and mad that you choose the other partner more than them. Oh, but it’s ok that they do that to you because you don’t matter. You’re just an object to them. They also don’t want you to screw with another partner for fear of you two hooking up and you leave them. Then they have no more free hooker, cook, maid, pay 1/2 the living costs, human punching bag for bully supply.

  • @khanbibi
    @khanbibi Před 8 měsíci +1

    someone recommended i check you out i am an abuse survivor my oldest daughter is a narcissist i have her on no contact i binge watch dr ramini

  • @DahliaBrynn
    @DahliaBrynn Před 9 měsíci +6

    This is definitely my stbx husband. He would claim waitresses or cashiers were flirting with him (they weren't), he wanted sex every day, which my body just couldn't handle, and then spent years guilt tripping me. He eventually decided the Bible didn't forbid polygamy and added a second wife, and most recently started teaching our sons that it's okay for a husband to rape his wife, because it doesn't count as rape if they're married (wrong).
    I finally left, but the damage done was deep.

    • @lastthingsministry
      @lastthingsministry Před měsícem

      I hope you realise he is not a Christian. He is blaspheming the Word of God by saying God allows Polygamy! Not every book in the Bible is prescriptive! A lot of the Books are historical accounts of the problems believers and unbelievers had with sin. The only reason the patriarchs had multiple wives and handmaids was because they were rebelling against God! The reason God allowed it was the same reason He allows divorce 'due to the hardness of people's hearts'. God had to start somewhere with humanity to start His redemptive plan. Your husband is so clueless about the Bible. I hope you know that God is love and this is NOT what He intended for marriage at all.
      Please read Leviticus 18 for God's prohibitions on sex which still stand today. Also 1 Cor 13 defines what love is. 1 John 4 tells us God is love.
      God says that 'husbands MUST love their wives' and 1 Cor 13 tells us that love is patient and kind.
      These demon vessels (because that is what they are) are driving people away from the Bible by lying about it every chance they have. They have no respect or fear of God at all.
      I really hope one day you see that what I have written is true and that your husbands lies won't drive you from God and I hope you are able to leave this loveless marriage very soon. You do deserve better than this ❤

  • @lornalastimosa817
    @lornalastimosa817 Před rokem +8

    I remember Xhb
    He never satisfied sex despite so many women he been with
    In the end no one stays with him for good😮

  • @vivisimonvi
    @vivisimonvi Před 11 měsíci +5

    I was still a young teen but the first older girl (narc of course) I hooked up with dumped me on the spot when I didn't want to have sex again without protection. She outright refused to speak to me ever again and I only remember how awful those next few months felt as I wasted away an entire summer off of school.

    • @dawnkikong637
      @dawnkikong637 Před 10 měsíci +4

      Good for you, though. What if she got pregnant and you were yoked to her for life? One lonely summer is better than that, no?

    • @lastthingsministry
      @lastthingsministry Před měsícem +1

      ​@@dawnkikong637I think that is what she wanted. To secure a husband, child and false front (for supply) whilst continuing the deviance whilst having a cover story.

  • @licmir3663
    @licmir3663 Před rokem +12

    Dr LeBlanc, any chance you may discuss how narcissists react to loss, especially death?

  • @Watts378
    @Watts378 Před rokem +6

    Love your vids. Beyond fascinating how some minds work.

  • @paulkrenz9593
    @paulkrenz9593 Před rokem +6

    My ex girlfriend from a few years back was like this , first few times really affectionate and loving then after that it was just like she thought I was a machine. Also one night I suggested we take a shower together, she called me a disgusting pervert and told her family I was depraved

  • @WaterBug46
    @WaterBug46 Před rokem +9

    H gave me an std and my gp ( who should also be a mental health counselor) had a heartfelt and brutally honest convo with me. Unless I wanted to continue getting more stds I should cut him off bc he was a serial cheater who would continue his behavior because he didn’t care about me. H is 80! Who acts like this? One of his favorite sayings is that he’s seen more azz than a toilet seat in Times Square. That says everything that you described in your video. Thanks for the confirmation.

  • @Socoolral
    @Socoolral Před rokem +4

    Good afternoon Lise,
    While listening to this video, I couldn’t help to think about how my relationship was and I do recall many of these characteristics in her. Another thing I’m wondering (Off topic) is if I have some type of damage in me because I’m watching these videos and listening intently. I’m not going to go into the details about things I experienced however, I will say, I’m taking it as a learning chapter in my life and that I hope I don’t find myself repeating the same experience. I’m keeping myself busy and focusing on things that I find interesting. Anyway I hope to find you doing well and that you are making today and everyday amazing. Luv you, take care, stay healthy and safe inside your body. Thank you so much have a blessed day😉🤙🏼

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  Před rokem +2

      Hi Raul, it’s great that you are embracing this as an opportunity for growth and heightened awareness. Such experiences can traumatize our nervous system and cause us to be hyperfocused of these toxic traits in order to avoid them in the future. On occasion, we can get entangled and fixated on researching or ruminating on our trauma rather than learning to shift our nervous system back into a resting mode. I wish you healing, health and happiness!

  • @malcolmhiggs9397
    @malcolmhiggs9397 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Having been through the mill with one. Believe every single thing that is said in this section.

  • @benpiche5969
    @benpiche5969 Před rokem +4

    I've only ever come across one NPD individual - my younger sister's ex-boyfriend. I'd been formerly diagnosed with BPD and would be interested to know if there's research about cluster B personality disordered individuals interacting with each other, because when he and I met it was like we could smell something on each other. To say that things got extremely WEIRD would be putting it mildly. In any event he's the only person I've ever actually felt true hatred towards. If I saw him walking down the street I could maul him down in my car and I wouldn't feel a fucking thing, and not because I'm evil but because he is. And not that I dehumanize all NPD individuals. Perhaps he was a particularly egregious case,

  • @jesperandersson889
    @jesperandersson889 Před rokem +3

    LOVE at first slight...

  • @paolap.7369
    @paolap.7369 Před rokem +28

    My ex husband was a sexual narcissist - he wanted to have sex everyday, I couldn’t do it anymore. We were together 10 years, he didn’t care much about me at all and if I didn’t want to have sex, he would try to make me feel guilty about it. After the sex, he would dismiss me and he would put his headphones on and listen to some podcast; we could never talk …he would say that he couldn’t sleep if he didn’t listen to his podcast. After 10 years of abuse, I finally woke up: I came back from work and he asked me for sex and I refused, then I was trying to talk to him about my eating disorder (yes I also became anorexic during that relationship) - while I was trying to talk to him about it, he literally tried to have sex with me again, after I already told him NO; in that instant I realised that my lovely husband, didn’t care about me and my health but just about the sex…that night I decided to leave him and it was the best decision I have taken in my life. I’m still very insecure after 4 years, still have a lot of issues which I don’t know if I will ever resolve. I can’t seem to be able to have a normal relationship. Narcissists they scar you for life

    • @dirkslifeadvice5339
      @dirkslifeadvice5339 Před 10 měsíci +4

      I'm glad you left. God for you.

    • @Spark-Hole
      @Spark-Hole Před 9 měsíci

      Only selfish for sex, that may not fit with NPD

    • @SGTSLACKASS
      @SGTSLACKASS Před 8 měsíci +2

      @@dirkslifeadvice5339the beta male simp trying to get leftovers your barking up the wrong tree bro. What good is she if she can’t have sex with her husband once a day. I’ll put money on it she can’t cook or clean either.

    • @edgarhayduke712
      @edgarhayduke712 Před 8 měsíci

      Hoping your new man doesn’t want to have sex with you

    • @PJHEATERMAN
      @PJHEATERMAN Před 3 měsíci +1

      So sorry. I hope you find a high value man that puts your needs first. Married 36 years and we help each other every day. There are good men out there, you just have to vet them carefully.

  • @gettingbettereveryday350

    Didn't realize you'd met my ex!

  • @manolaya3225
    @manolaya3225 Před rokem +2

    I feel like everything that is described here can occur in a toxic relationship with possibly a narcissist but to my knowledge "sexual narcissist" is not a scientific term.

  • @edmitiu7383
    @edmitiu7383 Před rokem +1

    ''Dynamic Exchange of Encouragement and Understanding'' is the only way I know of working through and growing healthy.
    UNhealthy will Not put the work in.
    And my experience says our (USA) society is not healthy.
    After 4 yrs of being single I understand the emotional bliss of love yourself first. Maturity is a life time quest.

  • @mystery.1136
    @mystery.1136 Před rokem +5

    my ex couldn't have sex without mirrors and me dressing up as he wanted. no matter what time of the day nor how tired I was. I could never have sex from cuddling because I had to go getting ready. at first I found that interesting but then had enough of that "must be" details. I think he had to watch himself... any similar experiences? and off course no kissing outside sex. in bed very deep kissing, outside no contract. 😢

    • @natthebratster
      @natthebratster Před 9 měsíci +2

      Mine was the same. Kissing could never be just affection it was a rough foreplay into even rougher sex. I often complained that we could never just make "gentle love" He didn't care.

    • @mystery.1136
      @mystery.1136 Před 9 měsíci

      @natthebratster yes!! I completely understand you my dear.

  • @reniervandenberg1902
    @reniervandenberg1902 Před rokem +1

    Thank you for the enlightening info. 👍☝🙏

  • @user-nb1sb2io5k
    @user-nb1sb2io5k Před rokem +3

    Hi Lise can you please do a video about psychopaths

  • @SolarPunk80
    @SolarPunk80 Před 3 měsíci

    I definitely thought and think I have these tendencies but like in normal narcissism, from what I am hearing on CZcams at least, it always stops with malicious action, or just maliciousness, so I don’t know, I definitely don’t punish or feel the need to and have an openly self critical nature that I actually have to hide to seem like I don’t lack confidence but still, too many similarities otherwise…

  • @BillyT531
    @BillyT531 Před rokem +3

    Love your Canadian diction...

  • @anneaires3984
    @anneaires3984 Před rokem +1

    Excellent!

  • @user-ov9lo5vd9d
    @user-ov9lo5vd9d Před rokem +1

    This basically describes Freud and the Vather/Mother opponent thing.
    So a massive Vather/Mother complex with selfworth issues.

  • @cliffcolby4450
    @cliffcolby4450 Před 6 měsíci

    Good information.

  • @cht2162
    @cht2162 Před rokem

    Lise, you are the best!!

  • @loobee2486
    @loobee2486 Před 10 měsíci +2

    The cruelest of all narc

  • @markyungboo8586
    @markyungboo8586 Před rokem +2

    We appreciate you more! Thanks for the information 🙏🏽❤️

  • @dennistate5953
    @dennistate5953 Před rokem +1

    Would not have bet my money i'd have guts to start watching.

  • @user-mm4pf5cv6u
    @user-mm4pf5cv6u Před 4 měsíci

    I'm curious about the intersection between covert female narcissism, sexual addiction, and non-monogamy styles.

  • @felicitydowning7970
    @felicitydowning7970 Před 8 měsíci

    Sick!!! Thanks. ❤

  • @robinallen9769
    @robinallen9769 Před měsícem

    You described my husband to a TEA!

  • @MaestroMaxim
    @MaestroMaxim Před rokem +3

    The impact from this abuse can go on in the individual and taken as a natural innate causality but it’s due to the abuse. 💯

  • @warrenmoon7709
    @warrenmoon7709 Před rokem

    Thank you 💯💯

  • @summersalix
    @summersalix Před rokem +11

    Can you do a video about narcissists/bpd and p0rn use, and how it impacts a marriage, their spouse, and how it can create betrayal trauma for the partner? This also includes how some are also seemingly addicted to self pleasure (literally multiple times a day and during the night).
    What can/ought to be done for both the p0rn user and the hurting spouse? Is it a deal breaker if they say they will stop, only to find out they are still doing it but hiding it better? And what does it do to the brain and behavior when a man begins watching it (and relying on self pleasure for comfort) in childhood and how it impacts their bx in a relationship and as an adult?
    This has broken my marriage and idk what to do. I can see how it impacts how he treats me and how he constantly seeks dopamine and quick sources of pleasure

    • @Ytdeletesallmycomments
      @Ytdeletesallmycomments Před rokem +7

      Leave.

    • @summersalix
      @summersalix Před rokem +1

      @@Ytdeletesallmycomments I did. He promised therapy and quitting etc. I asked him to be accountable to me and he said he would.... But he hasn't been. It's been a month since he sobbed to me saying he'd stop (bc I said it was a deal breaker) and he still hasn't tried to find a therapist, even tho he said he would. But in the meantime, he open up 2 bank accts without giving me access nor including me in the appts.

    • @tubab72
      @tubab72 Před rokem +4

      Good luck finding a guy who does not watch porn these days. Because of the internet the stuff is everywhere, literally, think mobile phone etc. Trying to "control" porn consumption while the man in question is obviously not co-operating seems like an impossible task ! The real question is why you should want to ... this brings me to your remark about "secret" bank accounts. Seems to me you two have some way deeper trust/control issue's than just the porn thing.

    • @tubab72
      @tubab72 Před rokem +1

      In addition to my previous reaction: ... Porn is not only everywhere, a very large part is easily found for free, ..... (gratis, umsonst, nada, noppes, niente) Do you think opening TWO secret bank accounts has to do with porn alone ????

    • @summersalix
      @summersalix Před rokem +3

      @@tubab72u ought to research how damaging porn is to men and relationships, especially if started in childhood. The effects are apparent in how he treats me, his motivation for anything, and other things I'd rather not list in public.
      I'm not controlling him. He was the one who told me he quit it and won't watch it and that it doesn't fit in our marriage. Little didni know he was watching it, paying for it, and then grooming me to do only fans.
      Men don't have to consume porn. The ones who sneak around and do is considered a form of infidelity, especially if the agreement was that no porn was to be in the marriage. That was him who wanted that.
      You want to know why he's sneaking around? Bc he has personality disorders and severe adhd (the psychiatrist told him he tested in the top 3 of the severity of clients on the adhd scale). He won't get help despite promising he would.
      Maybe have some compassion instead of telling me I'm the controlling one.

  • @Moneyswithme
    @Moneyswithme Před rokem

    No. 4 and No. 5 the Entire 10 years of the relationship.

  • @Gajdosh
    @Gajdosh Před 7 měsíci +1

    I was for 4 years with my narc nymphomaniac ex.
    The over-the-top sexual talk started immediately. First it was quite fun. But around the end of year 1 she started giving me ultimata to start taking men supplements (like arginin) to increase my libido and performance, otherwise she can't be with me. She was obsessed with threesomes and swinger clubs (i didn't want to do either, since I was in love with her).
    Last two years were really horrible. She was constantly blaming me for bad performance and insulting me. Many times we had sex (she wanted) and I felt like I am there to be just a piece of meat. No feelings, no connection, no intimacy, nothing. Physically it was fine but I couldn't understand the absolute and total absence of feelings. It felt very weird at the time and it happened many times.
    In order to help spice things up for her I bought a book of Tantra. We sat down in our living room to try it and read it. First paragraph of first chapter was about relaxation, breathing, tuning to your partner. Literally after like 2 minutes she said that it's stupid and waste of time. 2 minutes in! I knew it's something weird. I had no idea she is a narc but this along with 100 other things confirms it to me.
    She proceed to completely destroy my self-esteem.
    In a true narc fashion she blamed me for being "bad" and "the worst" and when I calmly asked her what exactly she wants she got even more angry and frustrated that I am so incompetent that I need her help. Giving you an unsolvable problem and keeping you busy. I understood it after seeing many brilliant videos like this one.
    She ended up cheating on me with my friend of 30 years. The betrayal was bad, but now I am glad she is gone.

  • @moretolight
    @moretolight Před rokem

    Great video. Thanks for sharing your insights with us, Lise.

  • @leonardstebbins858
    @leonardstebbins858 Před 5 měsíci

    Is there any way to help fix them or get them into treatment?

  • @brianmaldonado3723
    @brianmaldonado3723 Před rokem

    Ty.

  • @sameerrajadhyaksha9273

    Hello , Thank you for Guidence, Is these traits applicable for "Covert Narcissists" too..???
    Plz reply

    • @mbinghamworks146
      @mbinghamworks146 Před 8 měsíci

      They are… I dated one of these self absorbed sex addicts and he was extremely shy and came off as a total sweet heart. Once you scratched the surface he was a complete monster. Would deny cheating, blame me, gaslight, literally be looking for sex after we had just had it… it was honestly a disgusting experience.

  • @Horizon25
    @Horizon25 Před 2 měsíci

    You are stunning and fabulous

  • @jadegreen1554
    @jadegreen1554 Před 5 měsíci

    It doesn’t matter if the person is diagnosed as a Narc or psychopath .
    1) narcissistic/psychopathic traits are enough to be narcissistic. A diagnosis doesn’t matter. Some professionals have a problem with the diagnosis all together, because it adds nothing. It’s enough yo have narcissistic traits.
    2) Most Narc will never be diagnosed.

  • @user-ye3iq1om8y
    @user-ye3iq1om8y Před 5 měsíci

    game is game

  • @whatever_it_takes6691

    What are your thoughts on Oofy Doofy Theory? Does the modern woman increasingly prefer the more submissive partner in comparison to years past?

    • @LowCostVideo
      @LowCostVideo Před rokem

      Some do , some don't. Everyone is different. But there is a difference between sexual confidence and sexual narcissism.

  • @aldobottle937
    @aldobottle937 Před rokem

    Is it possible for a narcissistic woman to get a kind man attached that's only a friend while she is already in a relationship?? I didn't think this kind of bonding was possible without being sexual but I think this may have happened with me. I felt very in love with her and started having a lot of anxiety when she didn't text me or want to hang out for weeks, it made me feel unimportant.

    • @michelhandlon1188
      @michelhandlon1188 Před 10 měsíci +1

      Same here friend just remember she wouldn't of used u if u had no value

    • @marcgovaerts644
      @marcgovaerts644 Před 3 dny +2

      I confirm, happened to me over the past 6 months ; I became her confidant for her marital issues (her husband for 23y seemed to be a covert narcissistic) ; I knew her for the past 6 years and we collaborated extensively on artistic projects. It turned out she also had an external intimate affair (with a grandiose NP, heading the 50-person art group), who when informed of this one-way friendship, had me blackmailed and had her joining the public smear campaign within our art circle, so that both would get rid of me.

  • @stigkenobi7525
    @stigkenobi7525 Před rokem +4

    Yeah...I am not one of those. I am mediocre in bed on a good day. Too lazy.

  • @yujibell
    @yujibell Před rokem +2

    That sounds like men in general

  • @mikioni
    @mikioni Před 2 měsíci

    Women run away from me so I don't think about sex.

  • @aelfredrex8354
    @aelfredrex8354 Před rokem +3

    You're describing the entire Manosphere.

  • @debimary6812
    @debimary6812 Před 11 měsíci +1

    The deviant part, he disturbed me, the majority of sex was degrading and could be rough and painful. I don't know why he didn't just stick to his drugged up prostitutes.

  • @fatyghassem7123
    @fatyghassem7123 Před 5 měsíci +1

    He hated when I said no. He said that excited him even more and if I continued to say no I would ruined the sexual chemistry. Once he even rape me with dark practice I didn’t want. The more I said it hurts stp the more violent he was. When he saw that I wasn’t able to sit he laughed hard and said that he felt that I was about to faint he said that excited him. I was so confused but I continued with the relation. Later on he had this fantasy of seeing me having dark sex with other men. I said no and he continued with this fantasy many times until I firmly said no and he left. Four month later he was married to someone else. As you said it was only about his need and he neglected me after sex. I always felt used. He was a covert narcissist and a sexual narcissist. The first time a met him I had that gut feeling that something was off I didn’t listen to it because of the religious covert narcissism mask he was wearing. I’m in therapy. People listen to your gut feeling and when you see red flags run as fast as you can and never look back.

  • @user-hp9wp5kh8t
    @user-hp9wp5kh8t Před 6 měsíci

    I told mine no and was raped months later for it after he was done he said that’s what you get for telling me no months ago he would hit me in the head slap me so that I had to get chiropractic care he could only get off by being mean his fantasy is little girls and that scares me I don’t know if he has ever hurt one for real or if he has been able to keep it to fantasy I’m away from him now 1000 miles left with just my clothes

  • @thomasczthomash1859
    @thomasczthomash1859 Před 5 měsíci

    My female covert narcissist is terrible at sex, but thinks she's amazing. Afterwards she would be like a small child wanting praise and a lollipop for doing a good job even though the sex was very awkward. We've not had any sex for years...

  • @paddyh6530
    @paddyh6530 Před rokem

    My ex female narc was playing her part in a porn movie...she demanded sex after she had abused me and was astounded when i said no

  • @LebowskiDudeful
    @LebowskiDudeful Před rokem

    If you wanna hear a man tell his embarrassing story with being married to a sexual narcissist, it's now on my channel published on the Day of Indepence

  • @1o1carolina53
    @1o1carolina53 Před rokem +2

    Instead of COMPLAINING and diagnosing the manifestation of CHILDHOOD TRAUMA......
    let's help each other heal

  • @godsstruggler8783
    @godsstruggler8783 Před rokem +2

    Celibacy it is.

  • @kathistewart7550
    @kathistewart7550 Před 3 měsíci

    My soon to be ex was a sexual narcissist, he even got cosmetic surgery on his penis to extend it and make it longer when erect and then had collagen to make it thicker. Each surgery cost thousands and he said he was doing it for me. That was a lie because I loved him the way he was, but once he did that sex was awful hurt like hell,and I would have to pretend to enjoy it or he would be angry and go drink and get more verbally abusive and demanding sexually. Sometimes violent and rough sex. 😢

  • @ensorayahmd2364
    @ensorayahmd2364 Před 10 měsíci

    💯

  • @MajorPayne175
    @MajorPayne175 Před rokem

    This is some great oppositional research......

  • @rhondamckinley7721
    @rhondamckinley7721 Před rokem

    😭

  • @sarawelling5271
    @sarawelling5271 Před 9 měsíci +4

    Sex is narcissism. The two words, sexual and narcissist are inseparable.

  • @RB-jq6gh
    @RB-jq6gh Před 7 měsíci

    It's all about the Devil conception.

  • @jaquaw
    @jaquaw Před 8 měsíci

    This sounds like it could be Twitter x or only fans gays

  • @DaboooogA
    @DaboooogA Před rokem

    What a babe

  • @farmcat3198
    @farmcat3198 Před rokem

    What if your partner, out of nowhere, tells you that you're a great lay?

  • @smashing-3291
    @smashing-3291 Před rokem +2

    Take a shot every time she says "sexual"

  • @mortega561
    @mortega561 Před 11 měsíci

    Sick animals.

  • @Number4lead
    @Number4lead Před 6 měsíci

    Sounds like swingers.

  • @desertweasel6965
    @desertweasel6965 Před rokem +1

    I think I am a sexual narcissist.

  • @RB-sc3uk
    @RB-sc3uk Před rokem +3

    It seems like everything under the sun is labeled Narcissistic. Good content nevertheless.

  • @f0ster444
    @f0ster444 Před rokem

    Sex is far more complicated. This sounds like a mismatch between a very normal kinky lover and an inexperienced lover. Sex is the forum of expression and can be seen as deviant by some but it’s perfectly normal to others. This video kind of demonizes the submissive / dominant dynamic. Which can violent and abusive and enjoyed by both and where the partners deeply love and connect afterwards. I went from boring vanilla sex to deeper experiences and it’s amazing but both have to match.

    • @AshwinPraveen
      @AshwinPraveen Před rokem +10

      Disagree with your perspective. From my experience, I think people have certain kinks because of their trauma and self narrative. The kink might be damaging to either partners, it might not be. I think it’s okay to have “kinky” sex. But not as a substitute to “boring vanilla sex”. I for one love the intimacy you get from “normal” sex. I think intimacy comes from connection.
      Our society has demonized anyone who “kink shames” to the point that it’s weaponized by partners in the form of expectations.
      Just my two cents.

  • @charlestilley2576
    @charlestilley2576 Před rokem +1

    Sounds like you knew my wife very well from 30+ years ago! She kept me wore out to the point of having to go to a doctor from the pain & once, almost thought she "broke" my penis. Then when I could go no longer, she accused me of cheating when it was she who did so, multiple times. At that point, then I was there to be used to be worked for her & her children's needs & later, her granddaughter, just as they said!
    Yes, I have PTSD & anxiety & being treated with a nerve agent plus antidepressant, just from the sex issues. Had a (failed) 4 level lumbar fusion in 2006 that came mostly from working in excess in 70 hour work weeks. Have been married 35+ years, together nearly 40. My friends warned me too, since we were already living together, NOT to marry her. But she slick talked me into it by saying her family insurance would had cost less at my job, when I brought it up that I'd pay the difference, went to crying and all. Should had saved myself a lot of torment then by walking out, only by then, we had just purchased a home. You know the story from there.🥲