Approach Anxiety Help: End Approach Anxiety with Your Thoughts
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- čas přidán 26. 10. 2013
- www.thesocialgeneration.com -- Approach Anxiety is a fear we make up with our own thoughts and judgments. You have the power to END approach anxiety simply by understanding and expanding your thoughts.
Many guys will learn about a block they have in meeting and connecting with girls called "Approach Anxiety"--but did you know that Approach Anxiety is completely made up?
Just a few years ago, the term "Approach Anxiety" never existed, yet guys were still just as nervous and anxious to talk to a girls as they are today.
In this video, I show you that you don't have anxiety and you don't have blocks-- what you have are negative thoughts. The fear is ALL IN YOUR HEAD.
You're making up the approach anxiety, so in order to get rid of it, understand where it's coming from and why your mind is making it up. When you understand why your own mind is making up approach anxiety, you can use the same power of mind to get rid of approach anxiety.
Check out this video as I take you through the process of your own mind and what you can do to get rid of approach anxiety forever.
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Thanks for watching! - Jak na to + styl
Is true, when you drop the agenda and instead tell yourself "I just want to get to know this person" it becomes SOO much easier
the chain by fleetwood mac is playing in the background @ 1:53.
YEAH RUNNIN IN THE SHADOWS!!!!! Good song. lol
This was kinda eye opening....never heard this point of view. Wise man
Im watching this while im drunk and wow... it hit me real hard in my heart, i really needed to hear this, i dont know you but thank you man.
Calibur43 Thanks for the compliment and I'll try to get videos out on a regular basis!
Thanks for getting behind the camera and guiding me with some great questions on this one, brother...
This is the hardest thing to get over
subscribed, immediately.
Thank you so much for your advice, please don't stop making these.
My main problem when thinking about aproaching a girl, is that I'm bothering her. That I'm interrupting what she's doing. What's your interpretation of that? Thanks!
Imagine the girl of your dreams (looks wise) just came up to you and wanted to have a conversation with you while you're busy shopping or something. Would you deny her just because your busy or didn't know her? Or be interested in learning more about her? Basically most people (men or women) regardless of what their doing don't mind taking a minute to talk to someone who could possibly be of interest to them, its not hard to sense in about a minute whether or not you like someone or not, its an energetic thing kind of like "love at first sight" . By approaching you could be drastically improving her life (if she's single), you're giving her a chance to meet you. Think of it that way.
tenorsaxophonebeast
Wow, that does have sense, never looked at it this way. Now, it's time to practice it. Thanks man
Did you master it now? You had 9 years time.
Very real stuff. I like it. Keep it going, I will test your ideas out and see if they are applicable to my life.
I think a lot of people aspire to these videos man, I definitely would not be against a video every week!
Totally agree with the "auto-judge fear" theory
Anyone else notice one of the best songs of all time playing in the background during this talk? Fleetwood Mac - The Chain
this video wins the internet
you have a great way to look at life.
excellent video!
This was a good video. I have the worst Approach Anxiety in the world. And I'm extremely afraid to approach on the streets, malls, ect. When the area is crowded because I just will feel uncomfortable with pedestrians and other people staring at me while I approach and try and listen to my game and the conversation. I'm just being honest because people will notice and be noisy. I never thought about what was said in this video though.
Fluffy, has your anxiety improved since considering what was in this video? (I've also got a new video from the same talk I'll be putting out soon that goes more in depth...)
wow totally cool... needed this..!!
great tips man
Man, GREAT video! Gives me some understanding of all my wicked judgments of myself. Is it the same issue when I avoid guys my age bracket that are attractive .. I avoid because I do not want them to think I am after them, so I do the opposite.
Great stuff here
My approach anxiety stems from stupid scenarios that I make up inside my head. I can't get out of my head. When I see an attractive girl I always say in my mind like "I don't want to bother her because she's probably busy doing homework" or "she doesn't want to talk to anybody right now", "she probably will think that I am creepy", "she's going to tell me to go away". I can't seem to get out of my head and always come up with these irrational scenarios that could happen. How do I get over this?
What if it goes wrong? But wait... what if it goes right?
My big problem is not thinking about anything relevant to say. The best random conversations I've had with anyone always involve somethings I'm genuinely curious about.
Whenever I see a girl I'm attracted to, I just can't think of anything that I'm curious about that is not lame.
"So, you come here all the time?" Is cliched and lame.
Treat everyone equally, like a human being. Stop thinking of the girl on a rating scale, but rather as a human being. Rather than putting her on a pedestal , realize that you are probably better than her in some way, etc...
According to your video...3:21
Action steps: Approach tons of girls. You aren't doing this to attract women, just to overcome your fear. However, I argue that you can do BOTH. You can attract women and if you can have a great rapport building conversation you can still have success.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment. There is a difference between "attracting women" and becoming a more attractive person. Doing anything with the goal of attracting women is itself an unattractive activity, so it's a bit of a Catch-22. That being said, take whatever action steps you need at this point in your growth, just be mindful that you are taking action for yourself and there is no end goal. If the end result is not clear now, it will become more clear once you approach the goal you've set out for yourself out of it: your true goal is not to attract women, but for the freedom of surpassing your desire to attract women.
I'm saying to follow your goals, whatever they are--as long as you are empathetic and respectful of other people, your goals are fine. But keep in mind that "happiness" in itself is not a goal. Happiness is how you feel about yourself and what is happening right now. There are no goals you can set that will make you happy and fulfilled. Pursuing your goals will push you forward and get you places--keep doing that--but being content and satisfied with yourself is not something to be "achieved" via your personal goals.
TdotPickup happiness is internal not external basically. You can be happy at anytime if you want to, but it has nothing to do with attaining external things or people and what they think of you, just your opinion of you in that moment
What's your opinion on prescription medications? I was "diagnosed"(a psychiatrist's subjective evaluation of me) with anxiety and depression about 4 years ago. I took medications for about a year and I guess I just gave up on trying them because none worked. Now my philosophy is that anxiety and depression are just a part of life and it happens. I'd like to live a healthy lifestyle(exercise, eat healthy, be well rested), but I'm torn between my beliefs and the possibilities of change. I'm an introvert and I've been depressed lately, my friend just was talking to me today about how he had depression and is on anti-depressants and how they've helped him. One part of me wants to try the anti-depressants and see if it could help me, but another part wants to try to overcome it naturally by being health and with my mind/will power.
man, you are the best!
For me it's more like you don't know if her boyfriend or husband is around see you try not to cause a conflict that's the only thing with me holds me back so I alway evaluate the situation not that I'm scared of her
You´re a genius.. you don´t judge her you judge yourself
tht shit smacked me in the face
Brilliant
Mine, too.
I like you man!
he reminds me a lot of kong from simple pick up.
I bet your single..... Because single people always give the best advice. Lol thanks man ! You helped tho :)
LUKE!!!!!! hell to to the yaeah!
If you get approach anxiety looking at a 10, just imaging that she just took the biggest and smelliest dump of her life. She now seems normal, go talk to her.
AA = algorithm anxiety
Spent my whole life with anxiety thinking I wanted a girl. Once I started doing it I realized I don't even want a girl, they're annoying and a waste of time.
Oneness.
The hesitation is the worry that she probably really doesn't want to be bothered by some stranger. It is just so presumptuous to think otherwise. Imagine from the attractive girl's point of view. Let's assume she gets approached more or less nonstop, like many times per day. Men have zero idea what that must be like. Annoying, I'd say! So she probably learns to despise this endless long string of guys coming up hoping to charm her ultimately into the bedroom. I never got good results from trying such approaches out of the blue. And, despite the existence of dozens of channels promising to help guys face "approach anxiety", I don't think they help very much.