Reverse Culture Shocks! Revisiting the UK from Germany
Vložit
- čas přidán 20. 05. 2023
- My Newsletter: benjaminantoine.substack.com
Culture shapes us all whether we want it to or not. And the place where we live, our environment changes us. Culture shocks are real and the revers can happen very easily. There's not necessarily any winners and losers here. Just preferences, likes and dislikes. What have your experiences been?
What to watch next:
• The KEY To Lifelong IN...
• How I became Fluent in...
• GERMAN vs. UK Prices. ...
About:
I am a Brit who lives Germany. After completing University in the UK I moved to China where I taught English for two years. I’ve learned a thing or two about cultural integration, language learning and everything else that goes with upping sticks and moving to a foreign country. I make videos about Germany, cultural differences and tend to pose a lot of questions. Join me on my exploration of life abroad.
Show some love:
ko-fi.com/benikon
#cultureshocks #britain #unitedkingdom
I have lived and worked in Germany for 25 years and I am British. When I tell Germans how much I love Germany (and I do) they appear slightly embarassed and definitely surprised. Germany is a great country, with many differences to the UK that you correctly point out, and the people are warm and generally friendly once you establish yourself in the culture.
Aren't they friendly in the UK?
I have to agree with your comments. The Germans are almost being programmed to hate their country and are really surprised when someone has something nice to say and are open about it. Only then do they realise what a great contry Germany is.
In the UK - if you say anything negative (even about the weather) - you will be told to go back where you come from. In Germany you would be in trouble if you said anything like that. However in Bavaria you might get that kind of reaction from the locals
@@Habakuk_ He didn't say that.
haha I have gotten a few "go back home comments here" but they are few and far bewteen
@@britingermany Well ask Eastern Europeans in the UK after Brexit.
I am Dutch, but lived many years in Germany as well, and raised my kids bilingually (Dutch & German) as they were born in Germany and since 2010 I have been living in the UK. I very much enjoyed watching your video.
After coming back to the Netherlands after living in Germany for 8 years, I experienced the same reverse culture shock. The one that made me realize that, on the one hand there are things I very much appreciated in Germany, adopted, and that changed me for the better, while still being happy to return to some of the things I appreciated much about the Netherlands that I tried to preserve, but also the realization that the Netherlands I returned to was no longer the Netherlands I had left many years earlier.
Living in the UK now for almost 13 years, there are definitely things I appreciate in the UK ever since I got here. The slightly larger freedom of self-expression is one for sure, as is indeed this friendliness that is there without apparent reason. I enjoyed your mentioning the "German stare", the Dutch have that too, we too like to make eye contact in public, and it is something I miss somewhat here. But over time I have also become much more aware of the divide between myself and English culture.
I cannot understand the submissiveness of the English towards Sirs, Ladies, Lords and Dames and am still bewildered how pretty much all the media will never omit these titles. I did not fully appreciate how deeply engrained 'class' is in the every-day lives of people in England, and how eagerly adopted that deference is by many of the commonwealth migrants, while my 'continental heart' sometimes feels like one of some French revolutionary.
I think, as one appreciates and adopts things of each and every culture you have spent some time in, you do become in a real way more "unassimilated" to each and every one of those. I do feel very European 🤐... although I do understand people who think that this isn't a 'thing'🤷♂. To me, Gwynedd and Scotland feel more European than much of England🤔, which to me feels confused, searching and increasingly sticking the union jack on everything to soothe itself and deny there is a cultural issue. I have enjoyed most of my years so far here in the UK, despite Brexit❤🩹. But I doubt whether I will want to retire here 😵💫... perhaps in Gwynedd😊but more likely in the Netherlands, Germany or France. Time will tell😄
Being European definitely is a thing.
There is definitely two Englands, one is outward looking and cosmopolitan, embracing European ideas and the other decidedly the opposite. Both of these different Englands are disgusted by the other. I think the Scots have generally coalesced around one national identity which is both very Scottish but European at the same time partly due to the nation's very difficult relationship with England.
The mention of Sirs, Ladies, etc I find slightly odd, as I found the Germans much more attached to (professional) titles than the British. It's Herr Doktor, not just Mr X, and even without the titles, they do like to keep their distance. You're going to be real good friends before someone allows you to call them by their first name, and it's Frau Müller at the cash register, or Herr Schmidt. I found them much more relaxed about that. In the Netherlands, they hardly use the polite form, anymore in my experience. Belgium is somewhat lax with honorifics, but uses U much more frequently.
Very nicely written … few British are able (or could be bothered) to learn a second language with the mastery you show.
Come and live in Scotland! We are Europeans, we don't bow down to the nobility and we have rich traditions and history. Also it's not totally overcrowded.
The weather is great in Scotland too! OK I admit that's not entirely true...
German President Gustav Heinemann was once asked: "Do you love your country?" He replied: "I love my wife!"
Fair enough
But the same president also said more intelligent things like "A nation is only as free as its gun laws".
@@maximkretsch7134 No, that was one of the most asinine things he said... oh, wait he most likely didn't. And even if he did, Heinemann lived when? Historical context matters.
What he did say is that "das Recht die Waffe der Schwachen ist'.
Germans are truely weird, it's shunned loving your country while no other people is happier measuring everything else, after your glorious, if not superior, cultural standards🤷🏼
@@sisuguillam5109 and that seems somewhat different indeed
The irony is that Germany, being so much more conservative and changing so much more slowly than the UK, is now MUCH closer to the UK I grew up in as a child than the contemporary UK.
Intersting hadn't thought of it like that....
I had the lucky experience of serving 8 years in the British Forces based in Germany. We lived in a strange echo chamber of English culture which exaggerated our differences. Due to this it took longer to bond with the local culture. Not to forget all the trouble that can come with having soldiers in your town!
I also had the perspective of my grandfather who remembered losing his father and brother in the “Great War”. He would always ask how I liked it over there and was always shocked to laughter when I said I liked it.
Once the language barrier was breached I always found us to have more in common than we had differences.
I always feel like i’m home a little when visiting Germany. It will always be special to me.
Glad to hear it. That’s really encouraging
Tena koe.
Firstly, Thankyou for your service. I hope you have passed on your experiences to your younger generations. I like the way you write about getting past differences once the language barrier was broken.
Yes, not understanding eachother makes things difficult!
It is good to always remember the sacrifice made by our ancestors.
It is a crucial part of our culture here in New Zealand to honour the fallen. "Lest we forget". Maori people here, and people like me, have a constant connection to our ancestors.
It is wonderful that you have a new perspective although your great grandfather and grand uncle had to go through all that they did. Thankyou for mentioning the sacrifice in your family.
In New Zealand we call your new attitude "kotahitanga". This is also a big part of our culture.
I realise that I have never experienced a coming together with theater culture, but have instead only felt unforgettable horror for extended amounts of time, which returns often like a trigger that is pulled. I relate to your grandfather's trauma.
It is a huge challenge for me to step out of the trenches, battlefields, ghettos, forests and camps and into a place I have never seen for myself. I don't think your grandfather could easily budge either.
Reading about your huge soft spot for Germany is a lovely thing to read about, so I will try to find things to help me live more in 2023. It involves choosing to, or trying hard to ignore all the triggers I now live with.
I also thought I would mention that in 2012 I buried my partner in an RSA cemetery in this city in New Zealand.
The bugle was played, his coffin covered with a British flag, and the RSA chaplain spoke with great insight about his service.
He was a Wiltshireman who served in the British army. His father, Herbert Chilcott,
was injured by shrapnel in 1915. His father had gnarled hands and other permanent injuries. He hardly ever spoke to his son.
His son could go many hours not thinking of speaking to me as well.
When he had dementia, he was often on guard and was petrified if I made a sound. The staff in the secure unit were the enemy he was watching out for. I became his camerade, which he appreciated. "Thanks, mate" he said.
One day he must have been very lucid.
I asked him if he knew who I was, and he said, "the Queen of England", quite sarcastically.
It wasn't until his short term memory disappeared that I got any idea about what he had experienced in his younger days.
If my children do what I ask, my body will be buried down there on his coffin and be there for a very long time.
Walking around above me will be the descendants of many men who served in WW2.
I hope I can pass on solid kotahitanga and humility like you do regarding German humanity before any of that happens.
@@barbsmart7373 thanks for your kind words. I really enjoyed your perspective. I think this is the best comment I have ever seen on the internet! Normally just trolls on here. I was generally touched by your words.
@@bennybenoit754
Tena koe,
It was really special reading such a nice reply.
Firstly,
I have learned a lot from the Maori and Pacific Island people around me.
Most of my friends are from cultures different to mine.
Tikanga Maori, is very well respected here, and many people derive much depth and
value from such beauty and wisdom.
I think that my trajectory in life has been good.
There were many frightening things in my childhood. I was a middle child, the problem child, but definitely the caring one, and a truthteller.
It has always been natural for me to care deeply about other people.
I learned when I was young, how valuable it was for all concerned, to make very strong sacrifices for others.
When I was 22, I had 3 children and was totally abandoned and all by myself. Very much abandoned.
The people in my life were neighbours and elderly people I befriended.
The things I did for my neighbours seemed to bring about the deepest appreciation imaginable from them.
To do all you can for others, especially in their dark days, is a theme in my life, and what I have received back from them and others, has in most cases been phenomenal and most humbling.
As an empath, I connect quite well with people, and I feel that my life is enriched by the many people I have adored, looked up to, and learned so much from.
My respect for elders I have deepened further through the influence of tikanga Maori. My connection to the people before me has come in different ways.
I did not meet my grandmothers and didn't know my grandfathers either, although I did meet one of them.
I had envious siblings who stopped me from seeing my mother for the last 2 1/2 years of her life, and they traumatized my father so actually, he died within a few weeks of their treatment.
Luckily, I had already spent years caring for both parents intensely. I did all that was humanly possible to ensure they lived many years, safely, well cared for, and with dignity, respect, freedom, familiarity, contentment and eachother.
I tried to connect with my deceased father and hidden mother in every way I could think of while apart from them.
I found my mother, and her reaction was the happiest I have ever seen in any person in my life. Both parents waited for me
before dying, just weeks later.
I try to continue the wonderful ways they passed on to me. I honour and appreciate them very deeply. My peace and satisfaction is immeasurable.
I love my little country and the friendly, caring , humble people I generally see.
Unfortunately, I have a regrettable dark side too which you will see.
I have taken the opportunity to really look hard at 20th century history. One aim was to understand evil.
When nursing, my elderly patients- the softly spoken, often blue-eyed men- told me where they had served.
I was and am so ashamed that I could only stand in front of them with a blank face.
Back then, Egypt, Tobruk, the Pacific, and Malaya meant nothing to me. Absolutely nothing.
But I have tried hard now.
So today, Gallipoli, the Western Front, shellshock, gas,
trenches, lice....rats, the flu and mass graves.... fascism, book burning, Spain, Kristalnaut, T4, deportations, slave labour, September Ist, blitzkrieg, the Dutch, and French, Churchill, the resistance, SOE, so much by so few, under ground shelters, will not surrender, the Eastern Front, mud, ice, civilians, millions, Stalingrad, Monty, Africa, D-day, Americans, Canadians, Indians, us, the Aussies, Poles, escapees, rescuers, freedom trails, Norwegians, collaborators, BYSTANDERS, Normandy, France 🇫🇷, liberators, skeletons, ovens, the homeguard, more children, Berlin, night and day, hand to hand...is extremely familiar now. I remember the suffering, the heroism, and the perpetrators.
So half a world away, are Monuments, parks, gates, Memorial halls, rolls of honour. Every little place you go.
My mind sees the common denominator something wrong in the culture. How can one country that small be antagonistic? To cause 2 world wars, a serious epidemic and such an incomprehensible genocide?
Your memories are good. Mine are horrific and beyond comprehension.
They need replacing. Not an easy task. 😕
But I work on it. It is good to read the positives. I am sure they are very human on the inside.
My being supersensitive about inhumanity is not helpful.
I am better off keeping off the topic of history.
So I wonder what you did after your posting over there. What were the best things in Germany?
What were the best times in your life so far?
I wonder which part of Britain you live in?
I love the English accents, and the friendly people.
I love how the Fascists were pushed out of the West End and how your people stood strong during the bombing.
I don't really watch American TV. I like British comedy dramas and documentaries any day.
It is nearly 11pm here in New Zealand.
Ata Marie dear Friend.
I’ve lived in both places for more than 20 years, and each time I return to the UK, I feel that it is so much friendlier. Spontaneous conversations are the norm, whereas in Germany it is much rarer. I find that friendly eye contact in the UK is the norm, whereas in Germany there is so frequently an unfriendly, sometimes even disapproving stare.
Thanks for sharing Robert. I think I would largely agree with you
Thanks for your insightful thoughts again!
Being born and raised in Hamburg the UK always felt like only a Katzensprung away to me. Back in the Eighties and Nineties there was even a ferry connection from Hamburg to Harwich, and I am definitely sad that it's been dismissed.
My first visits to the UK were student exchanges at the age of 13 and 14. I have explored London in my twenties many times all by myself and I have never felt unwelcomed or uncomfortable at any time or situation. People would leave you alone unless you ask for help or advice. Then they are usually very nice and helpful.
Thinking about the Brexit makes me sigh a lot. It feels like we have lost a family member over a stupid and senseless quarrel. 😢
Interesting you should mention that about Brexit. I think many people in the U.K. feel like that as well, especially the Scots and the Welsh.
@@britingermanyunfortunately it is not a senseless quarrel, and two world wars would suggest that the UK and Germany are not family Members.
@@GabrielFlies Oh, good grief
@@britingermany the Welsh voted to leave EU along with most of England
I expressed my personal feelings on Brexit and I am sure everybody has their own. That being said I am almost certain that most Germans, unlike me and other followers, don't give a damn.
I have lived in Germany for 2 years and the past 35 years in the Netherlands. I have now become a Dutch National. I make rare but necessary visits to U.K. The countryside is still beautiful but is often full of blown plastic rubbish, the roads are very neglected
It is not the Britain I remember and served in the RN. Watching the news I have come to the conclusion that the culprits for the decline in Britain is the Politicians. Just my opinion.
Politicians - and the people who elect them. And the media who tell them how to vote.
A friend who returned to the UK after 30 years in USA said how shocked he was at the volume of countryside & street litter
Last year I visited my (English) friend in Southampton. One day my friend, her mum and me went to the city and got ice cream. As we were sat on a park bench an old man came by and said "I have never seen something like this before!" We went "huh?" and he said "three tounges coming out at the same time" We all had a laugh after that. All in all I did notice how the people were all a bit more jolly in England. Also lots of little shops with all kinds of tchotchke :)
Haha what a weird comment. But it#s those kind of things which stick in your mind 😉
English people like to make humorous remarks amd everyone likes to have a laugh. I was an expatriate for 20 years and noticed the British sense of humour even at the airport when I came back to England.
Weird maybe. Very sexual in case anyone missed the point.
After 45 years of living in Germany, I still get the question, (when I go back to the UK to visit family), why do I live there, my answer is 80 - 90% is more or less the same the only big difference is the language.
As a German who’s lived in Brighton for 6 years, then in Munich for 3 and back in Brighton since the end of 2020, I can wholeheartedly agree with all your observations!
Oh cool! I do love Brighton although I imagine it's a bit depressing in the winter
Morning all. It’s very weird but also enlightening seeing the culture that you grew up in through a different lense. Thank you for coming along on the journey.
Thanks mate, for making this vid. 🍻
I am always so amused about "the German stare" as I have only become aware of it through youtube videos like this. This is really a blind spot to us Germans as we are totally oblivious about this phenomenon. I have lived in the UK for two years and I have never perceived British politeness as fake or over-the-top, something Germans associate with the US. In fact, I found it quite charming!
Glad to hear you find us charming😉.
@@britingermany Es gibt einen Unterschied zwischen anstarren und den Augenkontakt suchen. Ich suche eher den Augenkontakt, denn für mich ist es ein Zeichen von Beachtung.
Quasi ein anerkennen eines Mitmenschen, wenn gezielt weggeschaut wird ist es gegenteilig... Nach dem Motto ich seh dich nicht, du existierst nicht bzw. deine Existenz hat keinen Wert für mich.
I was born in Germany and lived there for 30 years. From there i lived a few years in Belgium and Holland and finally ended up in the U.K.
My husband is english and since he doesn't speak german it was just easier for us to settle down here.
That was 13 years ago and i haven't been back in Germany ever since. I don't miss it either, quite the opposite.
I grew up thinking that all those laws and regulations in Germany have to be, otherwise day to day life won't work, and it gives you that "security" you mentioned as well.
I remember two weeks after i arrived here I panicked a bit because i wanted to register my new address with the LA to avoid a fine, but nobody could tell me where i could do that. The idea of just moving house and that's it really puzzled me, how can a country function without knowing where people live...? In Germany in was threatened with a €200 fine once because i didn't register my new address in time - and i thought that was "normal".
That "security" in Germany feels to me now more like a prison then anything else. Obviously some laws are useful and, but i really don't like the lack of choice the Germans have.
For example education - the realisation that in Britain the parents can decide what education is suitable for their offspring, but in Germany that's the choice of the government.
My friend in Germany and i have the same job, working as a micro provider. To do that here i need an insurance, DBS check, register with the HMRC and a few recommendations and i'm basically good to go. My friend had to jump over so many hurdles to set her business up, it was ridiculous. But i remember the time in my life when i was thinking that this is normal and just an annoying part of being an adult.
Of course life in Britain can have its problems and complications too, but i don't miss living in Germany at all.
I'm happy to live with less security but more freedom of choice.
Very interesting. I was actually also thinking about the point of having to register your address the other day. and it took me a second or two to remember if you had to do that in the UK or not. Glad you found your place. As you say there are pros and cons to any country but the "freedom" aspect is I think one which many germans who emmigrate really appreciate
I completely agree with what you wrote. Germany's crazy drive to overregulate everything to me expresses a general distrust in human nature and feels like: We have to tell these children how to do it right and essentially how to live their live. That structure kind of supports a thinking only between the categories of this is right and this is wrong which really works against a pluralism of opinion. And that is not helpful.
As an English immigrant in Spain I found a warm welcome here as soon as I began learning a bit of simple Spanish. People respect it as a sign of commitment to the country, you´re not just passing through.
One very difficult thing for me is to be very careful with my "por favors" indeed that is a slang term for an English person.
It is supremely difficult when ordering a beer or coffee not to add the inevitable "please" but I have realised that por favor is asking for a favour, and it is the waiter's job to get your order, he or she is NOT doing you a favour, and your "gracias" is probably redundant, and requiring the "de nada" response which can be tedious when repeated all day.
What is good manners is to express yourself with a smile, a nod, eye contact or whatever is appropriate, and that is a whole lot more sincere than any number of por favors.
I think the fact of becoming an immigrant has given me a better understanding of the situation an immigrant finds themselves in, even in a friendly place like Andalucia -- what it's like in England I´m not so sure, but I'm not going back to find out.
Thankyou for the tip! As a Brit who visits Spain I don't want to be the most clueless and annoying type. But I did get the friendly eye contact and smile part right!
Spain is a minefield for foreigners when it comes to communicating with the locals. I gave up years ago trying to speak the Spanish I'd worked so hard to learn because I found too many people insisted on speaking their local lingo. It only really worked in the cities. Switching to English is often considered a faux pa, the language of the lazy lot living in Spain without making any effort to integrate. The Spanish hate them. I sometimes end up speaking German or French, both of which I'm fluent in. This motivates them to then switch to English after all seeing as they usually do speak English quite well.
@@mikethespike7579 I feel your pain Mike, learning Spanish in rural Andalucia is like learning English in the Scottish Highlands, and at 73 my memory is getting a little misty.
Since communication is mostly non-verbal I think it's vital to maintain eye contact and a smile, then even if I grind to a halt I can grin and shrug and I´m still communicating.
So when ordering a drink you wouldn't say please or thank you at all? When the waiter brings it to you, would you just remain silent but nod or smile?
@@Martin-88
Good question.
Think of it like this -- I think it is generally accepted that communication is over 90 % body language and the rest verbal.
The English tend to use language as a means of communication which ignores the need to actually encounter the person with whom we are communicating. This establishes a distance, which will determine the level of your communication.
So my advice, (which is free and worth every penny) is to rely more on body language, and facial expressions , and actually interact with the person rather than saying formulaic phrases which means they now have to do something.
Thanks for getting to the very nub of a difficult subject.
(And I find the Spanish tend to know a sympatico person when they see one ).
Greetings from Andalucia.
Don’t you think the self-promotion has something to do with Brexit? The exhortation to “buy national” comes at a time of economic uncertainty. In the 70s we were told to “buy British” so as to protect UK jobs and industry, at a time when we had joined the EEC, as it was then called.
Yes I think that’s probably a part of it. It could also be because of the various other recent events making logistics tricky
Much more likeley: The Brits have gone extremely nationalist. Where the flags go up and the self-proclaimed patriots take over, trouble is brewing.
"Deutsch" is also a rallying cry in German supermarkets. "Deutsche Butter", "Deutscher Spargel", Deutsch this, Deutsch that. It's part of the Abgrenzungskultur - the need to differentiate German from other countries, cultures. Maybe it's a leftover from the unification wars and a result of being surrounded by many other nations.
I try to buy regional products or at least products made in Germany.
Not because of any "national pride" but for purely economic reasons.
If the money stays in the domestic market it keeps jobs, the working people have money to spend which in turn serves the local economy.
The same with payment services, I don't use PayPal. If my data is collected somewhere, then please on a server in Europe.
@@expatexpat6531 I second the other comment that ths "Deutsch dieses" and "Deutsch das" is simply a way of green ideas. To buy regional/local produce is more economical and environmentally friendly than buying apples from NZ. I live in northern Germany where sheep is a business. But out local "Deichlämmer" and sheep are costing more than the cheap ones from NZ. So we buy those Kiwi-flavored ones whil the French people prefer the saltmarsh-flavored ones for their quality.
Interesting indeed. I've been in Berlin for 35 years now, so obviously many thoughts about the topic. Yes you are spot on about all what you said. Nothing to add really. I saw a you tube feed on achitecture and how British architecture is more play full than German architecture, which fits to your ideas about some of the differences. I could never live in the Uk ever again, I've been too long here, and now I'm half German anyway. From afar I always feel that the reporting on the uk is often to do with Things like Boris Johnson, private schools, Eton, London, The King, stuffy old men in suits. But when I visit London and go down a high street and see the diverse cultures, I'm always amazed how little focus there is on that. Also I tell German people to go north of Watford to see the real Britain. From afar you see how Americanised Britain is becoming, especially languge, like the stupid use of the word "LIKE" and maybe loudness.As for Brexit to tell you the truth, The "Continent" does far better without The UK. If 51 percent of people voted for it then there*s obviously a wish to stay "Little Britain".. no matter what. So eventhough it was the most ridiculous decision ever, well they just ave to get on with things outside the EU. One thing that maybe is of interest. When I moved to Germany in 1986, and I said I was from the UK, most people said "Oh that's cool" Now it's really not cool at all. Infact The British are seen in teh same light as Americans!!! So I keep quiet about it. Sorry if teher is anyone American reading this...ps I'm dxylexic- can't even spell that word and sorry about my bad spelling or bad English!.. well a little sorry anyway.
About the friendliness to strangers and willingness to talk to them: There is a “gradient” in Germany, the further north you go the less likely someone is to speak to you directly, the further south the friendlier (and likelihood that someone will use the familiar “Du””). In the UK I think the gradient is the other way up, the further north you go, the friendlier people become, and further south they are more reserved. London being an extreme case.
Exactly
I can't subscribe to that, the people from the Rhineland are considerably more open and friendly than, for example, the Franconians, who reject strangers on principle. And have you never heard the Bavarian saying: "Saupreuß" to anyone who is not Bavarian, whether German or not?
In the Rhineland, you walk into a pub, stand at the bar, and you're accepted. Of course, you should at least speak a little bit of German.
My experience is the exact opposite, at least in West Germany.. Which is confirmed by Germans themselves. Wonder if you actually travelled along the coast?
No one really cares about formalities. Elsewhere they'll be upset, especially in Dresden elderly people screams at you if you forget using Sie, even if it's obvious you're a foreigner ..
How do you ever meet a woman in the UK if you never make eye contact 😂
@@bjoernaltmann The same way that you meet a man, or anyone. You make brief eye contact so that they know you have them in mind and talk in their direction while NOT looking them directly in the eye. Easy!
Berlin is a little bit special :D Yes it is :)
If you ask most Germans, they don't necessarily agree with other Germans. In theory, Germans are as individual as any people. In practice, the German community is surprisingly 'selbstverständlich'... a matter of course. Even the most selfish conservatives seem to understand the need to leave no one behind. This automatic membership in the group makes self-expression less important. Community, in a sense, is an extension of the concept of family. Most people want to stand out as different from groups they don't entirely like or wish to belong to. People don't generally want to stand apart from their family. Having lived in both Germany and the USA, I can tell you the feeling is very different: in the USA there are numerous 'other communities', while in Germany they have 'others' in their community. This sense of community leads to a number of very German phenomena: shared public spaces, conformity, corrective culture, etc. People often consider Germans confrontational, direct, and, even, rude. I'd argue that much of this German honesty comes from the lack of need to win acceptance. Our place in our community is secure. There's no need to please others or make an effort to be liked. You want an honest opinion? Ask a German :)
I couldn’t not have said it better.. that hit the spot and greatly portrays the way I guess that Germans think, or go about their attitudes, well done 🎉🎉
Kia ora Friend,
I can see advantages for the people who are in the "in group".
However, my Kiwi perspective is far different.
Due to the manifestations of what you have described, I would not ever want to go to Germany.
And, it seems that many Germans would also rather that outsiders like myself kept away.
It seems that "others" are othered in Germany far more than anything I see in New Zealand.
Welcoming others and being friendly and kind is a huge part of our culture.
We don't necessarily do things to be liked.
I have very, very strongly picked up on an attitude of Germans. One German psychologist said he would be "suspicious" that a person had low self esteem if a person didn't look him in the eye as he walked past.
Another German Psych student was even more
focused on believing that people could suffer from insecurity. He also seemed to feel the need to turn the encounter into a competition involving what I saw clearly as aggression!
I find this focus on mental strength to be truly ghastly. There are so many tragic circumstances in life that afflict the best if us.
We have a relatively caring attitude that looks out for others. It is a good thing here to be friendly and helpful. This is definitely part of the Maori culture, but also Kiwi culture.
To be generous gives Maori people greater mana...more humility, a greater and more caring disposition.
Humility is seen as strength.
If a person was to show signs of insecurity or por self-esteem, it is our responsibility to look out for the person, to try to help them, uplift them, show kindness. A Maori person could well give practical support to the person also, even if a "stranger".
I sense strongly that German people have an extraordinary expectation that people speak their language rather perfectly. This is another horrific idea for me to attempt to understand. It certainly puts foreign people right on the outer. I love the accents and cute speech of all foreign individuals in NZ and I hope they never try to erase their beautiful accents.
But this expectation is just one of thousands that highlight people being in the in group or being an other in the out group.
Staring at people who look different, yelling at people in public, judging people, being racially prejudiced, being unfriendly to newcomers, being impatient at supermarkets, and being ultra anal about the slightest, most ridiculous misdemeanor, are all brilliant ways to make others feel humiliated and shamed.
For me, these are all reminders if pure trauma.
They are worse than the fact that foreign people often just find it hard to make friends, and to even begin to feel any level of acceptance, let alone kindness.
I have read comments from people who even after a decade in Germant, they still haven't made a single friend.
I find this truly disturbing to even think about.
Further nearly traumatizing events are interrogations, informants, people spying on their neighbours, the behaviours of schoolteachers and thd way schoolchildren are herded into different types of schools. It seems that foreign students may not make it into elite schools. These kids are separated from the elite more gifted German kids.
People with brown skin are also stared at far more. I have never seen that occur in New Zealand.
I see there is a lot of advantages in shaming human beings, separating humans, judging humans, spying on them and being informants if you want to keep people the way they have been for decades or centuries, or if you want to keep new people away from your small exclusive group, or from your area, or if you want people to conform to an extraordinary level of sameness.
As a Kiwi, it feels almost the opposite of our way of operating down here.
It is so different, I would feel so restricted, so constricted, so fearful, so different, so unwelcome. And if I didn't see all the friendly, accepting, laid back, happy faces everywhere, knowing that people care about others, I would soon lose my joy and feel very alone and unwelcome -the opposite of how Kiwis make me feel. My joy and friendliness would be seen as fake. Seen as the insecure person German people helpp me to become. I wouldn't be seen as the confident, caring, loving person that I am. That's what I think could happen in a place with that kind of mentality or culture.
To be seen as "soft" when Kiwis see me as strong, and to be viewed as "sugar-coating " when I have good vibes and a positive outlook, and to be seen as everything I am in a negative way, is a rather weird thought.
And to have time-wasting, superficial "smalltalk" with strangers wherever I go instead of loving, interesting, uplifting korero with people I am getting to know... I could not live in such a miserable, impatient, self absorbed, unhelpful, individualistic way.
I would be keen to understand cross-cultural differences so far I really struggle with this style of culture.
@@barbsmart7373 Tell me what you really think 🙂
First, Pacific islanders in general, but also NZ and the Maori specifically, fascinate me to no end. You must remember that Germans are one of the most-travelled people on the planet, leaving the confines of their home country more often than almost any other people. iirc, only the Dutch are as well-travelled. One driving force behind this is curiosity. I think you'll find most Germans will go to considerable lengths to learn about, and fit into, the cultures they visit.
Second, yes, Germans stare. We probably stare more at anyone 'exotic', brown or otherwise. You'd probably be asked a lot of questions, get invited to a lot of parties, and be the subject of much curiosity in Germany. I know, for me personally, to meet a Maori or other Pacific islander would spark intense curiosity, probably beyond my ability to contain.
Third, we're fully aware that Germany isn't an easy culture to 'break' into. Germans are intensely loyal friends... but are slow to let others through their outer shell. This isn't right or wrong, it's just the way it is. Living in Berlin, many of my friends are from 'elsewhere'. I don't expect any of them to 'be German' or speak perfect German. Germans tend to appreciate any effort made to learn their language, just as we take considerable pains to learn other languages.
Finally, I have the utmost respect for your need to defend your culture... but there is no attack here. I would be insanely 'chuffed' to learn about your land and culture first-hand. You would find no more disciplined, intellectually-curious, and respectful student. The tone of your post about Germany and Germans was bordering on harsh. If my saying something positive about my country made you feel attacked, I do not apologize. The mistake was yours. I hope my German directness does not offend you.
Cheers, from Berlin
@@mallorydeagan681
Kia ora Brother,
Thankyou deeply for your thoughtful reply.
I will explain that I feel a deep level of trauma which comes from thousands of images, comments, books, interviews, things that have occurred in NZ, things that were inflicted on New Zealanders when in Germany.
Some things have altered the lives of people I know very very significantly.
Some managed to escape from Germany before it was too late, and one was just seriously fucked over by a German lady. Holocaust survivors are, victims, people who lost their lives or risked their lives rescuing others are a part of every aspect of my life.
My Jewish people are an integral part of many parts of my physical and cultural identity.
I just needed to explain that I am seriously traumatized by things that have been done by German people before and during WW1.
I drive 125 kms twice a week and pass monuments, gates, halls and very beautiful parks in every small place I pass.
Even in a tiny community of 134, there is a large Memorial Hall which honours our fallen soldiers.
My friends Rose people who was shot at as a child, Mae who grew up in an orphanage, John who met his father when he was 5, Joan whose first husband went missing at Dunkirk, Regis (French) whose grew up in an orphanage, "skiing and starving", Frank (Dutch), who also suffered greatly in his childhood. Wendy's father was the only one who served in his family.
These are only some of the people I know, people who have mentioned things to me in passing.
It includes no one from who lost family members or had them hospitalized for life from fighting against the people from aggressive Germany.
But I know they are everywhere around me, because I have been to very many graveyards and found my heroes who lie there.
So the things that have affected my country the most are 2 world wars and a serious epidemic that moved like a wave due to war.
For me personally, the Holocaust trips me up every time I try hard to comprehend the thousands of hours of History captured on camera that I have seen or that I have read about.
The things that affected me greatly in the 60's, and from the last 40 to 45 years are not all related to the Holocaust, apart from German women yelling at a "dirty Jew" in a restaurant not far from me here in NZ. They are just a variety of things I can never, ever forget, or even comprehend. Some situations affect me nearly every day, and involve pure exploitation of my partner or of my beloved country.
So with the topic of trauma made clear, I can progress forward with my process of adding really beautiful experiences to my memories.
It is sad that German people are not friendly, because many Germans pass by without engaging with strangers. It seems they often avoid it.
I know that all people are basically the same. It is era, character and culture that makes the difference. Other than that, we are the same. And we all have faults.
NZ has a seriously terrible history since colonization.
I appreciate your points.
One of the sad things about NZ is our youth suicide rate. So depression is an issue.
So it is vital to many of us, that people are supported, cared about and encouraged.
To ignore, exclude or judge others is precisely what a community can do to help create depression and hopelessness. There are reasons for this being the norm, and I realise Germans defend all their behaviours. But from my perspective, excluding and being unfriendly are just two of the many inhumane things that many German people consciously, therefore deliberately do. So this is deliberately being horrible.
As Germans are so well travelled, they will know precisely what it is like to be all alone in a new place.
I guess that is why German women have a reputation here for hooking up with unattached men who take them to the nicest spots in NZ. Also not nice.
It kind of reminds me of people who will satisfy their curiosity when inviting people who are different to parties. You see, any suggestion of self-focus just reminds me of everything that already sickens me. Then I have to get past the nausea and move forward with better thoughts.
Yes. I am extremely curious about people, too. All people. But learning about different countries and cultures is ultra interesting. I am with you there!!!
I am lucky to have my best girlfriend who is from the Czech Republic ( not Bob, the Jew who managed to "get out" in 1938).
My girlfriend is the best BEST girlfriend I could ever wish for. She is AMAZING.
But she doesn't smile- very rarely. And she has a harsh, strict voice. Kiwis do not take to her actually. It does not appear warm at all. I imagine that Germans are like her- fantastic friends!
I have to focus on this point to get past the smilelessness of some
sad looking cultures.
Another thing I like is feeling like I have been given permission to be brutally honest. I know Germans skite a lot about this, and being the opposite of us, sugar coating things. There are obviously things we do not like.
I would not write such horrible things around any people other than where German people go. It is a very horrible way of thinking and writing.
For me, though, I would love to find a way through the trauma and what is occurring even in the present.
I feel very very lucky that you have responded to me. Your people do not want their noses rubbed into their country's past.
I would not like it if Maori people reminded me of the evil behaviour of my pakeha predecessors.
This is another thing I have to know and remember at all times.
I think that will help me.
Another thing that has started to affect me, is I look with more empathy at all the soldiers freezing in Russia. And the children, the boys, from Hitler youth, who joined up to fight for the fatherland. The dumbfounded looks on their faces, when it is all nearly over. It breaks my heart, actually, knowing they were innocent children gaslit every day of their lives.
Seeing people up close is the easiest key into my heart. It includes thoughtful, accepting comments from German people.
So thank you.
I will write my thoughts about our Maori and Pacific cultures when I next have some time.
You won't get another comment as horrible as this one, good Friend.
@@barbsmart7373 OK. Wow, that was a mountain to unpack. There are numerous statements I have issue with, and some serious backwards logic (starting with a conclusion and fitting 'evidence' to support the desired outcome), but... I'm going to let it stand as is. What came through is that it's YOUR truth. There's no reason to even mention THE truth in a discussion of subjective reality. A human experience is a human experience, something all humans should be able to understand, no matter how divergent their life experiences.
I am German. I have been raised to look people in the eye, to get to the point, and not to sugar-coat things. I have also been raised to be honest and empathic. We value efficiency and order... as well as kindness and loyalty. One of the things I love most about my home is the no-one-left-behind focus of our social system. I disagree with a lot of what you said, especially assumed motivations... but, and I mean this with all honesty, I truly wish you only well. Kia ora, stranger. Cheers, from Berlin.
The guy with the guitar is obviously a homeless street musician, you can find them in every German pedestrian zone - at least when the weather is good. The German cities with a population above 100.000 also have districts where everyone thinks he is special, talentet, artistically gifted, a intelectual heavyweight, future rockstar and shows his specialness to the public with exquisite fashion taste.
It's not to the extend that it is in the UK. Although Germany is very diverse and of course certain areas will be more inclined than others the country in general is just more conservative when it comes to self expression
"Obviously a homeless street musician", all the comments seem to definitely come from people a bit on the older side. This is definitely one of the most judging ones but while some people want to engage and learn what they see but don't understand. Others prefer to watch from afar and make up their minds judging something and someone whose story and opinion actually doesn't even interest themselves. That's quite sad but that's life
I honestly think in England the attitude regarding just about everything depends upon where you live. I grew up in Central London, in a very cosmopolitan area, so that living amongst Italian and French people was as normal as the fact that although I and my family were English, if you went all the way back through the generations there was a German bloodline. It was the same with my school friends, who could trace Greek and Maltese ancestors. But the moment I visited people in the London suburbs it was like being in a different world. They weren't only English, they regarded anything that wasn't as suspicious. It reminded me of a time in Switzerland when an English tourist told my mother that everything was spoiled for her "because they're all foreign here". Thank goodness things have changed vastly, but I do think it is hard to judge England in any way without visiting a large number of towns and cities because attitudes are so varied. Now I am old I am enormously grateful for the kindness of total strangers, if I need help crossing a road or something. If you ask politely people are incredibly kind. And when I had a landmark birthday the staff of a food hall clubbed together to give me flowers and cards - not from the management but from them. It is very different from area to area of London and must be extremely hard for anyone from another country to judge.
Hi Alida. Yes you#re right England and the Uk are very diverse and varied. Personal experience does play a big role. However I do think there are certain generalisations that are still accurate
You've kinda of hit the nail on the head as to attitudes depending on where you grow up. I love London and most of my family are Londoners, but London is almost like a city state of it's own and only does what benefits London. Sometimes to the detriment to the rest of the country and that creates differences and a disconnect. Twenty miles down river and life feels very different. When I walk on my high street on a Sunday morning I hear Polish/Albanian/Punjabi/Thai/Vietnamese which is fine but when you no longer hear English I think the suburbs fear a loss of British identity. I winced at the comments on another post calling Brexiteers ignorant....no they just had a different point of view.
Thank you for your lovely video, very thoughtful and accurate. As a German I have studied for a while in England and later on lived and worked there for six years. I moved back to Germany in 2012, well before the Brexit desaster. I share many of the observations you made. For Germans moving to the UK the friendliness of people in everyday live is wonderful. It makes you feel welcome, looked after and generally makes live easier. I would not call it superficial, but it is somewhat formalised in its own way. After a while I also noticed that people can be very rude at the same time, a lot of it having to do with class. Particularly upper class people or people who consider themselves part of the elite could act in a way that I perceived as very rude. They mostly got away with it or could not be held to account as their rudeness was covered by some kind of irony or humour etc. It was very interesting for me as a foreigner though to see how subtle the mechanisms were that were used to put people into categories and to mark their status when meeting people for the first time. It would be very interesting to hear your thoughts on the differences of 'class' between the UK and Germany.
English people can be very two-faced: Polite and friendly one minute, and then slagging you off the next behind your back. Germans are usually, consistently very direct, which I prefer. I think they are not as acutely aware of or afraid of embarassment, which is what the English are desperate to avoid.
Thank you for your insights and I think I would tend to agree...it takes a bit of time to clock into the British way of socialising and working out what people really mean..because it is often not often the same as what they say
My experience is that the degree to which people are genuine in what seems like a warm and friendly attitude varies a lot depending where you are in the UK. People in the North of England are more likely to be honest and blunt, but with warmth. In Scotland we're sometimes described as dour because we don't make a big pretence of being friendly, but when there is warmth, it's very genuine. Glasgow people are renowned for being very friendly but just below the surface of that is a cultural tendency to have loose boundaries. Or no boundaries at all!
@@britingermany my English husband lived in Germany for 31 years and he said repeatedly to be so very aware of how British people use their language and how we foreigners don´t understand what´s going on with sentences like "it seems there has been a misunderstanding" or even better "that´s an interesting perspective".
@@expatexpat6531 Indeed,, many people perceive Brits to be a bit hypocritical with some sort of formal politeness.
Flags: In the USA many homes display one. Walk by QUICKLY!
Having lived as a civilian in Germany since 1980, I just could not envisage going back to the UK to live. Every time my wife and I visit my family in England it is a bit of a culture shock.
it sure is not the same place that is was in 1980
@@britingermany we got rid of Mrs Thatcher since then ...
Why couldn't you imagine doing it?
@@JR-mr1tw It's really quite simple. My home town was small and successful, after the recession of the seventies was over. The last time I visited was 10 years ago, and it had started to go downhill. The last info that I received was that 50% of the businesses in the town center have closed down. Brexit hit the town hard. And I personally disagree with the anti European stand that a lot of people, including my own family have.
I always work on the assumption that anyone conspicuously carrying a guitar can't play it.
Hahaha 🤣that is hilarious!
I have been to London twice and what surprised and amazed me was the friendliness and cordiality of the Londeners. Even if they face stupid tourist questions all day long they never loose their patience and they have always a kind response.
Very glad to hear that. I have to say London can be pretty crazy...especialy as you say because of all the tourists
You misunderstood. The signs everywhere are not a coddling thing at all. They are litigation avoidance and reduction. If you do something stupid and hurt yourself you will sue the owner or operator. Their defence will be to say that should have read the sign they helpfully placed to prevent such accidents. No one actually cares about you.
Nick I like to think there is a caring element but the legal aspect is certainly there. In the Netherlands they have signs that say you do something as Eigan Risico (wrong spelling sorry) which means 'at your own risk'. I believe that sign is to absolve responsibility too.
Good point👍🏻
I was in GB via Interrail more than 40 years ago, when I was 16 years old. Ind I just looooved the very unique style of people, showing themselves as an individuum to the world.
Wow that is cool. Things were so different 40 years ago…no Google maps for one thing 😉
@@britingermany
No need for that 😊
I also did Interrail and you met people all over the place, being at Nice main Station, meeting other Interrailers, asking them "where have you been? London, oh, good idea, we'll go there then". This is how it went.
Visited about 18 cities/regions around the EU in 4 weeks, London included 😊
Thank you so much , you have given me much food for thought. I am a Brit who has lived in Germany since 1987 and am thinking about retiring in the UK. As you so rightly point out, there are trade offs, or pluses and minuses for both countries. I have many friends in Germany and they are all perfectly normal people, and by the way I find Germans very positively disposed towards the British; I have never had a negative comment addressed to me due to my nationality. When I visit the UK I find the people are more immediately friendly and chatty with each other. Nice! I would be happy to live in either country.
It’s always worth a visit. Obviously it’s highly subjective and depends on various factors. But I had an overwhelmingly positive experience this time which is why I felt very much at home
As always: very interesting and comprehensible observations. Thank you very much!
Thanks so much Lisa. I really appreciate it🙏
I would posit that Brighton is just as untypical for the UK as Berlin is for Germany
When a German guy talked about his soul, I told him we didn't have souls in England. In fact, we didn't know what one was. We do have a sense of irony, though, and what you have characterised as self-expression is in fact signs of an inner-life. I remember coming back from a long trip to Morocco where everyone is more extrovert and noticing the people at St Pancras station, all going about their own business, one woman carrying a violin, another couple with a small dog with a red coat. It is an introverted culture where subtle differences are made apparent.
Yes subtle is the right term I think
You know what is one of the best measures of a country’s “soul”, as you put it? The music music its People’s puts out.
Do me a favour…start with a blank sheet of paper and write down a list of all the British pop and rock bands and artists you can think of, starting from the 60’s to date. Then write another list next to it of all the European ones you can think of. How do they compare?
You touched on a lot of valid issues in this well timed and short piece.
Not sure there's enough space here to reply in text to the myriad of observations.
I'm back in the UK in 3 weeks.
I'm also living in Germany, have been for a little over 30yrs.
You put together a good representation, of the emotions if going back to the UK in a short amount of time.
Hi thanks for watching. Be interested to hear how you find it. Generally I found it to be a lot more upbeat and positive than all the headlines are suggesting, but I had amazing weather and was kind of on holiday so that always makes a big difference
I couldn't help smiling when you mentioned the apparent proliferation of Union Jacks and highlighting of British product origins as the German supermarket Aldi and Lidl are some of the biggest 'offenders'.
Totally! They gone the whole 9 yards with that!
Came to say exactly the same thing, also when it started in other shops there seemed to be a connection to food miles and trying to help the environment, Aldi then seemed to support the olympics and it grew from there.
I'd say the UK is quite reserved when it comes to displaying the flag. Go to Turkey and you'll see one every few feet!
@@Martin-88you only have to go to Germany if you want to see Turkish flags, (and macho behaviour..) 😴
Were you not shocked by how much friendlier and good-humoured we are compared to Germans? I was.
Well as I said it was something which I had forgotten about and it was a pleasant surprise
In fact that's easy achieved.. 😁
You only have to be kind 🤷🏼
Big man get to Glasgow were amazing lovely people. Watching from Scotland peace and love to all
Thank you. I was there last year and you're right. People did seem very friendly and open
Funnily enough my perception of this sense of friendly care you mention is exactly the reverse from yours. I worked in Bavaria for a while and I was struck by how much more friendly and helpful people are in the public domain than in Britain.
It's beneath the surface until someone needs it.
Interesting. Where are you from?
@@britingermany born in the Netherlands. But I’ve lived all over the place in my lifetime.
Friendliness is one thing. But other things are more important in my eyes. E.g. that you have to pay nothing for a good school for your children. That you don't need to be swept away in depts when your children want to study at a university. That when you need dialysis when you suffer from renal failure you will get the treatment even when you are over 65 years old instead of having to die miserably. That is real caring for people and not only talk.
Exactly. I live in this Dis-United Kingdom, and working in the arena of social justice and equality, I'm battling with the consequences of this intolerant and failing state that doesn't give a damn if it doesn't enrich them. Furthermore, increasingly I'm being seen as stupid for givnig a damn. Either by shits who also don't give a damn, or people who've just given up battling against the speed of the societal move, (especially in the nation of England) towards some right-wing crazy madness that even commentators in the USA have deemed 'worrying', and they're dealing with MAGA/GOP madness and ''the orange-one'.
What are you talking about regarding dialysis?
Are you American by any chance. Seems you don't have universal health care
@@cal9112 Quality of healthcare matters, and in the UK we are now ensuring anyone that goes to university goes into debt.
Brilliant channel!!! I have been waiting for that BRIDGE between our countries for decades. Knowing and loving the UK from the 80s I tried to bring back some SPICY and EASY GOING KINDNESS to my fellow Germans, quite a task then! Today you can find so much more loving and caring interactions. We‘ve all come a long way… 🤩🤩✨💫👍👍
Thanks a lot and what a great message 😀🙏
Family members from Frankonia were here in Lower Bavaria for the weekend to remember me, that they are way more friendly among themselves then we are.
Very interesting
I have been several times to Canada and it's true what they say about Canadians - they are very polite and kind! In many ways, we Germans could " cut off a slice " of this kind behaviour. To be kind and friendly does actually not cost much and you don't loose much while giving it out. Instead you make yourself feel good and also the one you interact with. I think in may cases we (Germans) ponder - "why is he/she so kind ??? what could be the reason?" Our society - and here I mean in general - has lost or is loosing more and more its intuition about simple kindness and being friendly - and we Germans are on the leading edge of this society, I guess and I regret. Maybe it has to do with our culture and upbringing, that means more or less acting sober and talking straight. Think of the composer Bach, his music was sober, excellent, not a single note was too much, absolutely efficient and timeless ! Beethoven the same ! Think of architecture - what could there more standing for German efficancy and soberness than the Bauhaus architecture!? Think of German cars, they are not famous for their design - that's what Italian cars are famous for - our cars stand for quality and power. Do our philosophers stand for humour? We don't have an Oscar Wilde and our Goethe and Schiller were very good but they did not play out their humour. Yes, we can party, yes we do have humour, yes are kind, yes we do care of others, yes we do donate very much for charity yes we alway want help where help is needed ! But either we ourselves or others have to crack our first layer open.
The border between the cold and reserved North, and the warm and open South of Europe goes through Germany.
As a Dane you've got to go South quite a bit, before the Germans stop being just like us 😉😉🤣
You are more genuine, I know where I stand with you. You are direct . The small talk that's is so British is unpleasant on many levels to me. They are not really genuine,also unpredictable and ilusive or way too friendly depends on their mood. No thanks. Germans get the work done. British love to talk but that's it. Germany raw power at it's best. UK is it really a proper 1st World. Don't feel embarrassed by who you are. Germans you rock
I honestly think that plastering everything with union jacks has increased enormously since Brexit and in my mind is nothing more than nationalism enfoced by the Torie government, Ukipers and and rightwing press, whereby one permanently has to show allegiance!
Thanks for sharing
We feel our identity is being misrepresented. Our old Empire has become a stick to beat us with. I don't know a single British person that ever mentions it but on the Internet it's all we ever hear from people with absolutely no interest in our culture. The Welsh can be proud, the Scots and the Irish but the English have to be the British Empire we have had our culture misrepresented or negated. Any expression of English culture is dismissed by the establishment elite or mistaken for Scottish or Irish by the Americans. That's what I feel and many other English people feel. There were many much worse European Empires than the British but we don't get to hear about them if it looks worse than the British/English. So people are starting to reclaim English culture and at the same time we have to hear how awful we are and how racist and bigoted and how unlike the sophisticated Europeans we are with our milk in our tea etc. Just some thoughts.
I agree, and it gets on my nerves mightily. Always be suspicious of those that wave flags. The supermarket unionjacks are everywhere, including Lidl and Aldi !
Rubbish. No empirical evidence. Loads of possible reasons why supermarkets dupe their customers into buying eggs or potatoes and all largely spurious but defo nothing to do with brexit vote. When even was that ?? 2016? Our collective mindset - like Germany's- has been v influenced by two world wars within the last century or so. The Rolling Stones rebelled but jumping jack flash is about the london blitz and sex pistols rebelled but they loved the queen. Then Sir Mick but no Sir Keith; this point alone sums up Britain!!!! M
@@Tim_Small European Union flag?
Very interesting, thought provoking, and well presented.
Many thanks!
Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it
your channel is such a precious content on CZcams. Love it.
Thank you. That means a lot 🙏
Excellent content and presentation … not sure how I arrived at your channel, but very glad I did.
Thank you and very glad you did 😀
It can be easily seen how thoughtful you contrast the British way with the German. I really appreciate your interesting and often funny videos👏Keep it up🙂
Thanks a lot Julian. I really appreciate it🙏
Thanks for the very thoughtful video - some new insights for me
Glad it was helpful! thanks for watching 😀
Interesting to hear your perspective, thanks for sharing.
Thanks Paul
Omgoodness the coddling thing. I noticed when that started and thought then, it’s a slippery slope. I love that about Germany, that you are expected to use your common sense in those situations (but then not in other matters, unfortunately).
As usual, Benikon, your video presents super observations. Have a lovely time, with yummy treats (😜) and don’t let the door hit you in… no, that went wrong 🤣
OMG Lauren hello. I haven't made it to Wales this time unfortunatley but I have sampled some Welsh cakes. Hammer🔨
The greatest reason for non conformism the UK is a desperate escape from the conformity of school uniforms..........Brian Netherlands ex Brit...
Haha that should be a meme
Just bumped into your video and must say I am laughing my way through it. What a déjà-vu!
Keeping in mind when Dad moved from Somerset to Norfolk that was a culture shock too.
Glad you found it 😉
I am a flemish speaking Belgian and I remember in the eighties, when I went to England on an english language course, that people always spoke about 'the Continent' like some different far away land. Same like we should say : "I'm going to the Island". Lol.
Oh yes that is true. The island!!
I do think that Germans are proud of their country - but they are not allowed to express it. However if you do attack Germany - the reaction is that they might appear to agree with you (pretend that they agree) - but they will freeze you out. Many foreigners complain that they have no contact to Germans and feel very left out. However a lot comes down to "Behave in Rome like a Roman does" and the German culture is simply very different to that of other countries.
I do find that the British people are too polite and at the same time not always honest. For example - If you ask a Deutsche Bahn employee for instructions he might bark at you, but you will have an answer that will help you. Ask someone in Britain - he might smile and not answer correctly because he does not know nor is he bothered to find out. I have heard the saying - a German is too honest to be polite, and an Englishman is too polite to be honest.
However not all is negative in Britain - my mother is still amazed, whilst she was still living in England, how the general public look after the elderly. You do not get this everywhere
germans are proud of their country, but just show it differently than reverting back to plain patriotism and flag weaving.
we are proud that we have a good social system, healthcare etc.
At the same time we care about germany and try to highlight problems in society, economy etc and try to change them.
Patriotism and nationalism just ignores the faults of the country for larger grandisement of the country itself.
I think you're right that the brits have a hard time just saying it like it is. I think that's why we use so much sarcasm...we can really say what we feel and then just say we were joking if it goes tits up
Your accent is very interesting. It’s British but there’s a definite German twist in there…also, some of your phrasing of words and sentences came out more as a German would say. I am bilingual, English and German speaker, so I found you very interesting to listen to.
Yes I've been here a long time, people have told me I have German intonation
@@britingermany yes sitting here in Australia I also found your accent fascinating. You pronounce words like “is” in standard English in some circumstances, but in others it becomes an “ees” when you want to emphasise something. Loved listening to you. Thank you for the interesting video.
I believe your vlog posts are progressively improving and becoming more thought-provoking. Please continue with your great work. On a separate note, when it comes to German regionalism, I believe it is not solely related to recent history but rather encompasses a broader historical context. It dates back to Arminius, also known as Armin the Cheruscian, who made significant efforts to unify the tribes, albeit temporarily. As you correctly pointed out, Germany's geographical position in the heart of Europe brings about what data scientists refer to as the curse of dimensionality. This concept highlights the challenge in optimization processes where each additional option requires a longer and costlier calibration process. This phenomenon also applies to neighboring Eastern European countries, which Timothy Snyder aptly refers to as the "bloodlands" for valid reasons.
I recommend reading the introductory chapter of Anna Seghers' book "The Seventh Cross" for an in-depth exploration. Alternatively, if you're pressed for time, you can watch Rammstein's music video for "Deutschland" with instant translation
Thanks so Much Juergen I think you right...German pride maybe deserves it's own dedicated video.
Here in Scotland the Union Flag has a particular meaning and is very much associated with the historical conflict between protestants and catholics and with Northern Ireland. Most people here actively avoid the Union Flag since it may be taken as a provocation.
The Saltire is the Scottish national flag. It's sometimes associated with the independence movement but I'd say it's not controversial.
Personally I feel the uk could benefit from less flag-waving.
How dull. Let's be less patriotic. What problem do you have with people waving the Union Jack or English or Welsh flags? I don't have any problem with flag waving if you're showing pride in your country.
@@paintsilj it's not easy to explain to people who don't live in Western Scotland or Northern Ireland. Here the Union Jack can be all mixed up with religious conflict. It is often used in an aggressive way to make a minority group feel excluded or even under threat. Neutral people like myself tend to steer clear.
@@Purple_flower09 then it needs sorting locally. Doesn't mean the rest of the UK can't wave flags
Speaking as a German,
- I am happy to live in Germany because there are many advantages that I see.
- I do identify as a German because I've realized that German culture has very much shaped my way of being.
However, I am very clear about the fact that
- Other countries are also worth living in and also provide certain advantages or benefits
- Being pround of my country (perhaps more so being German "stolz") is something I will hardly ever be, because yes, there is that still fairly recent past of Germany ... but more so because all the good things in Germany that make me happy to live here, are not something I have done.
I do feel they should be kept up, I will argue for what I think would be the right policies to keep our country worth living in and I really want to keep this country going. But "pride" is not something I can feel for my country. And I will repeat: not only because of this country's past but also because pride makes no sense to me.
I have heard that argument before. In that you can only feel proud of something you have achieved or created yourself i.e you could be proud of speaking fluent English because you learned that but not proud of speaking German because there was no real effort involved there?
Stolz darauf, nicht stolz zu sein 🙂 ?
@@britingermany something along those lines, yes.
@@expatexpat6531 würde ich nicht so sehen. Es ist für mich so. Ohne dass das mit viel weiteren Emotionen verbunden wäre. Nationalstolz von Anderen akzeptiere ich, aber verstehe ihn nicht.
@@pfalzgraf7527 Die Bemerkung war ironisch gemeint - das Wortspiel hat mir gefallen, es sollte nicht so ernst genommen werden. Übermäßiger Nationalstolz weist eher auf ein Defizit irgendwo hin. Früher hielt man es in England nicht für notwendig, so oft und so vehement sagen zu müssen, man ist stolz auf das Land - das war eine Selbstverständlichkeit. Daß das sich geändert hat, ist ein Zeichen von zunehmender Unsicherheit in gewissen Gruppen. Es ist übrigens auch ein Trend, der m.E. aus Amerika in den letzten 10 Jahren importiert wurde.
I recently returned to New Zealand for the first time in seven years and really suffered reverse culture shock. Everything felt wrong after living in Berlin, Denmark, Belgium and Italy.
Then I figured it out. It wasn’t just NZ that was wrong, it was also me. I still had the image of NZ from my childhood and from my last visit in my head. NZ had changed, and so had I … that’s what time does.
The amount of time between visits is important , as is one’s age, the latter being a major factor.
Yes I can relate to that. I think we probably change a lot more than the country does. Personal circumstances play a huge role in our we see things
What is it that you thought, or now feel is "wrong"?
Looking at each other is a way of communication in Germany. You don't need to talk to each other if a glance is enough to say what you want.
That sounds very efficient and effective 😉
You make it sound as if it's the first step towards having an affair.
@@tancreddehauteville764Better notice Germans doesn't take any affaires lightly 😏
I agree about it all. When I lived in Switzerland I used to go to Konstanz for shopping and whenever I sat down in a cafe people were looking at me and talking to me at my table.I felt at home in there in a sort of wierd way.
My theory in behalf of your mentioned "desire to stand out/to be different somehow" might be based in the fact that during the whole school time Brits have to wear a school uniform as you already mentioned as well..I admit it may sound trivial at first - but - I´m truely convinced that this sort of forced firm suppression of individuality at that particular crucial age for the personal development between 6 - 16 to 18 has an impact for that particular matter
Yes it was just a hunch of mine but I think there's something to it...
Having watched British politics a bit more closely since the Brexit referendum I would say Britain and especially England, has a sort of national identity crisis. They desperately cling on to the days of the Empire and to being special, exceptional,... I think England could do with some self-reflection about its history the way Germany had after WW2 and needs to acknowledge that a lot of the things the Empire did were horrible atrocities, not something to be proud of. It also really needs to get rid of the class system and reform its political system in general away from FPTP. That way maybe Brits could understand how other countries see them (hint: not as a superior breed of human beings that are naturally destined to rule over other countries) and actually integrate with Europe, the EU and other international organizations and cooperation better.
Shhh!
You can't say this!
They don't understand us at all, when this is what we see. ;)
@@rebeccat94
Can't be the language as there are so many different languages in the EU27 😊
@@rebeccat94 😊
Yeah, I know, when my London born spouse started to learn the German language, our English friends were asking "why is that as you're speaking English", instead of saying "oh, great".
I think, languages are the "door" to a country and its people 😊
@@jmolofsson oh I'm ok with hearing this! Of course many Brits get defensive and upset but the truth is there to see.
I think the older generation may have some nostalgia about Empire, the younger generation have little interest. On the point of Empire I don't think atrocities were limited to the British Empire; Belgium's atrocities in the Congo, the Spanish conquistadors carrying out genocide in Peru and Mexico and so on. Finally the history of Germany in WW2, and we all know how that turned out.
You hit the nail on the head! Very good points, especially about more freedom of self-expression and the flag being tacked on everything. I never gave those much thought!
In some cases it may just be more freedom of selfish expression.
Thanks for watching Nicko 🙏
Fascinating stuff!
Glad to hear it
Thank you for the video and the insight. In these culture shock / reverse culture shock videos I cannot help to ask myself just how much of these differences are down to people coming from a more rural place and moving into a bigger city or vice versa. I know from experience Frankfurt is also a bit of a "special place" within Germany when it comes to friendliness, people taking care of one another or open display of individualism (or the lack of any of these).
It's true that country/city cultures are very different- I grew up in the rural countryside for the first 19 years of my life and have since then only lived in cities so I think I have a pretty good gauge on the difference
Frankfurt is special in that there are large number of internal migrants (Germans seeking jobs) and foreigners (doing the same) compared to the original inhabitants. But I'd go a step further and say that the people of Hessen are in general friendly, certainly compared to southern German states.
"It boils down to national pride." This, of course, is a nonsensical concept. How can you be proud (or ashamed, for that matter) of a pure coincidence? You were born wherever your mother was delivered - plain and simple. You may well be pleased, of course if that took place in a stable country. Instead, be proud of something you achieved yourself...such as mastering a second language, for instance. As for "a definite sense of supporting your locals, the country, your brothers and sisters" - you can do that without the toxicity of nationalism. (We saw quite enough of that in 2021 with England fans booing other teams' national anthems.) Be a good human towards anyone whos crosses your path! Neither flag nor passport required! Your statement "Given the country's (Germany) history, being proud to be German is just not a thing." Well, any country has "history". (May I point to colonialism?) Here in the States, history is also littered with shameful events - the treatment of the indigenous peoples and the monstrosity of slavery, to name but two. So why do Brits and Americans still fly their flags ubiquitously? As my high school teacher replied when asked that very question, "because they didn't lose a war recently. History is written by the victors." I have seen nothing to contradict this thesis in the intervening years.
Hi there. Yes I should have worded it differently as that is such a loaded topic. Maybe proud of your community would have been better. What I also meant by “given the country’s history” is that Germany as a country is relatively new and many of the states have retained a certain level of their own identity…maybe similar to Scotland England and wales…as in each country ha being their own identity within the U.K.
Sehr interessant, sich selbst von außen zu sehen. Deine Videos sind sehr reflektiert und überaus informativ. vielen Dank
Danke für dein Kommentar 🙏😀
Great video... really enjoyed it 🎥👌👌👌
Thank you Brian🙏
I agree. I'm from Africa and I distrust foreign people being so overly friendly!
Interesting. Where abouts in Africa are you?
@@britingermany He must be from SA.
You'll most likely feel at home in most parts of Germany.. Just stare them back and both will feel comfortable in mutual distrust.. 😁
@@OmmerSyssel I only stare at women I like.
I lived in Germany for only a year many years ago, I then moved to The Netherlands and finally settled in Belgium. I loved my time in Germany and have many fond memories of my time there. I can also say the same about my time in The Netherlands. I still have German and Dutch friends even though it was many years ago. I guess why I stayed in Belgium was because I met my partner , who did not speak English so 8 was forced to learn French. It has been hard and I still make some mistakes, the problem was that English was the business language at the company I worked, which made learning French a looong process. I must also add that for some reason I do not really enjoy going back to England when visiting family and am really happy to come back home to Belgium.
Hello Paul. I keep hearing good things about the Netherlands. I think I need to spend more time there 😉. I didn't use to like going back to the UK but that changed for me about 2-3 years ago...I'm not sure exactly why, maybe because I now go there with my partner and havnt been back alone for at least 6/7 years
@Brit in Germany yes, you should definitely check out The Netherlands. We spend time in Germany as it is close, especially Aachen, Dusseldorf, Cologne and Koblenz. Each offers something unique and the hotels are excellent quality. Germany also has the best spa's in Europe, I can recommend Carolus spa in Aachen. When I worked in Frankfurt I lived near Bad Homburg, which also has a great spa. You should also check out Belgium, especially Ghent, Antwerp and Brussels.
I’m British and spent a year working in Norway in the 1980s. When I came back to the uk it initially felt like another foreign country. I remember seeing red post boxes and phone boxes everywhere. Seemed quite quaint.
They are a tradition 📮
That's funny, my parents and older generations also used the term " the continent" when referring to "mainland" Europe - I am from Sweden btw. Sometimes they even distanced Europe to be outside of Sweden.
Oh really?! That is very Intersting
@@britingermany Maybe I express it in a black and white way but depending on context I think many of us mentally think Europe is mostly mainland Europe. Not until we got members of EU 1995 it has shifted I'd say. My English may be flawed lol.
Things I notice when I go back to the UK. 1. The TV news coverage is, literally, very insular. I refer to it as the Dominion News programs: Canada, Australia, New Zealand, US, sometimes Ireland, but very, very little European news compared to German TV news. 2. People are more, casually, friendly (up North anyway). 3. It's an urban culture - Stadtluft macht frei. Germany has big cities, but it is not so urban as the UK and most smaller towns are more reserved and conservative. Personally, I blame it on the 30 Years War - it still casts a shadow on German culture.
Upvoted for your reference to the 30 Years War!
:)
(I agree with you on all the rest too.)
"Germany" existed as a cultural concept for ages but with a very weak imperial state and comparably strong local lords. The situation in post-1066 England was almost the opposite. To me, this explains why English elites have such a strong English identity, whereas Germans of all kinds do not.
That are the "left overs" from the HRI of German Nations, which existed for about 1.006ish years.
As far as I know Germany has the most small towns and villages per sq/km in the EU because of that.
Same goes for castles/palaces, lots of kingdoms/ princedoms/etc, = lots of castles/towns etc 😊
Hi, I always find your videos very interesting. I've lived in the UK in the early 80's ( I know, a long time ago....) for 1 year ( in London and Norfolk) and what struck me very much was, what you mentioned as well when people said: I've never been to Europe (meaning they had never left the UK.)...that phrase was so strange to me.... and the second thing that struck me, that you haven't mentioned: as soon as somebody opens their mouth and speaks, you know which education they have and what class they belong to...that was very strange to me, too. I am sure a lot of things have changed since and I've only been back a few times for visits, but it was a very important time of my life and I still cherish it very much.
You will find now that the `class difference` is probably held only by the older generation in the UK.
In fact ,to express this in the UK is considered almost as bad as mentioning skin colour.
Growing up I would associate things apart from accent ,such as dress sense, awareness of literature and the arts and being excessively ostentatious in all things, as defining a person.
Now ,it seems anything goes .
There are times when the past is a different country .
@@gillcawthorn7572 Well, you still have the House of Lords....
@@herigoldify not for much longer... 🤞
Yes whether we want to admit it or not accents and the we speak are still very important. I actually did a video about it a few months ago. We don’t really see it as a form of discrimination like other things but everyone has their likes and dislike and preconceived ideas
@@herigoldify We must be allowed some of our fanciful traditions ,otherwise what would the tourists come to see?
Brit living in Italy. It was shocking. Shocking that I fell in love with it so quickly.
🤣. I bet. I only know it from holidays but if living there is anything like that then I totally understand you.
Brits...are patriot...about their country..which is good ...pride in your country..is wonderful.....also Americans are proud of their country...😊
I wonder if the "support British" products is a consequence of Brexit, since that refocused British interests on Britain rather than mutual European interests.
Regarding friendliness, I am reminded of an event as I was growing up in Chicago. I worked (during college) as an orderly in a hospital emergency ward, bringing patients into the exam room and preparing the information before the doctor came in. A British man was one of the patients, having twisted his ankle. In the course of the interaction he said, "My, you people are so friendly." Thinking that big city Chicagoan's were rather cold, I asked him were he just came from and he responded "New York." Years ago I traveled to small towns for 6-12 month tours for my job, and in a smaller Oregon town was given my first and only instructions on living in a smaller town, "when you get within 6 feet of anyone, look them in the eye and smile or nod to acknowledge them." By the way, having visited several areas of Oregon, I can say that Oregonians are the nicest people I have ever met in the USA.
Regarding seeing the Union Jack everywhere, let me mention the absurd degree to which the USA flag is displayed, from underware, to car stickers, to flags in front of private homes and more. Additionally, there is the (for me) absolutely creepy Orwellian American practice of reciting the "Pledge of Allegiance" at the start of every school day and before every legislative session, and the playing of the national anthem before every sports game in the USA, despite all the teams being American. The words of that pledge seem more fitting of a dystopian society endlessly trying to "program" its citizens or to prove their loyalty.
I was raised in the USA, but my parents were from Poland (of the WII generation), and we lived in a very Polish neighborhood. Add to that being born in England (before emigrating at age 2 or so to the USA). Thus, I feel little allegiance to any one country, and see the egoistic national expressions of so called loyalty as bizarre human eccentricities. Yet I do feel a bit of pride as well as distress related to the events in the UK, Poland, and the USA, and to a lessor extent, the rest of the world.
Thanks for sharing. I assume Brexit plays a bit of a role but I am not sure how much it's down to that or the sustainable "buy local" campaign it#s all a bit mixed up. Sounds like you have a really interesting history Poland the UK and the US that's a great mix
I was in Brighton in march this year. It's a beautiful town. But i was a little bit shocked about the litter everywhere. But not just there, even the highway. Also the buildings were not well maintained.
Maybe it's because i'm used to a different mentality. But a little bit of color here or a little restauration there would make the city even mor beautiful.
i loved my trip anyway 😊
It is pretty run down...but that is just what seaside towns are like in the UK...the salt air is pretty corrosive and they generally tend to only do things up for the holiday season. But actually now you mention it the first time I visited I think I also was a bit shocked. I just didn't notice it this time
@@britingermany salt air is a problem we know from our coastline. Nonetheless we have the "Denkmalschutz" here 😅 if you own an old building you have to take care of it.
We had the suspicion they'll make it "pretty" again in spring.
But again, i think Brighton is worth a visit ✌
@@britingermanycome on, even along the coast of relatively poor Eastern Germany no sea side buildings are mismanaged and littering is definitely not accepted either.
Ordnung muß sein 👍🏻
Interesting to see this being Germany and living in London for the last 30 years . I would find it really hard to go back to Germany and it certainly is not the country anymore i remember when i left in 93.
I’d like to add that looking nice is much more important in Germany than in England. In England it seems like everyone makes an effort to look shabby.
Hahaha I'm not sure that's intentional
Yes I agree. You can spot English people by their shabby clothes at the airport.
Hello dear.
This was a great video.
I've been to Britain (England and Wales) various times in my life. Starting being 13 and 14 as a student at a summer college or spending time with british families in an exchange program. Or just visiting as a tourist. I always had a lovely time.
When the Referendum happened, I was really shocked and sad about the result. To me and probably many others it was like loosing a family member. Britain was always a bit like the weird uncle, with his extravagant needs, but nevertheless loved. And I couldn't really grasp, why the British didn't feel as European as we do on "the continent"🤭. I frequently listen to British radio and James O'Brien or Nick Abbott mentioned something that I've never thought of. When you drive in a country on the continent you'll read city names from other countries on a regular basis. I believe that does something with mindset here. We people on the continent never refer to Britain as the "island". Just Britain.
Regarding the national pride, I think you are spot on, we Germans just have a different way of showing it.
When you mentioned the openness to personal expression in the UK, like wearing blue hair or wearing tattoos, that made me chuckle. Yesterday I went to my cousin's house warming party and her older sister had pink hair and a tatoo (I have tattoos as well). And we talked about how our usually very liberal parents are, let's say, not approving😅.
Even thou we don't have school uniforms here, there is still a very strong sense of conformity. Sticking out with an individualistic appearance is very frowned upon. It's acceptable in other families (with a slight sense of pity for the parents), but not for your own child. Btw I'm 47😅.
Hope you have a great weekend.
Scottish guy here. I'm still shocked and sad about brexit! I'm often apologising to people in EU countries for it. Such an insult and even the way of doing it was insulting. I will never forgive our politicians for the harm they have done.
So sorry to hear about these feelings Jonathan. I think Scotland made it's voice heard and most people Germany..and I think the world in general are very well aware that Scotland was against Brexit
The problem is British exceptionalism. The British did not go through the human tragedies that Germany did in WW1, and most particularly, WW2. The British death rate was high in WW1 but Britain was one of the winners and did not lose any territory, and in WW2 most of the allied fighting was done by the Russians, so Britain's role was relatively tangential by comparison. And, despite that, the so-called 'Battle of Britain', which wasn't really a battle but a series of aerial clashes over a period of several months, has become a national myth, because it represented the British spirit of resistance against the odds against a foreign enemy. The British live on this mythology. It has become embedded in the national culture in the same way that the 'Great Patriotic War' has become so in Russia. For Germans the two world wars were catastrophes to forget, especially WW2, so I can understand the German need to feel European rather than German, but in Britain this has never been the feeling. I'm hoping that this will change with the new, younger generation.
I encountered reverse culture shock when i returned home (NZ) for a visit in 2018. I had been away since 2009, living in Germany (Ba-Wü) and it was only the 2nd visit due to the cost & time required to get back.
I had assumed that because i had felt that i had never fully acclimated to badisch Kultur & the typisch badisch Mentalität (thats another story), I would not have changed much.
I was wrong, and the shock of that was immense and keenly felt as I had not realised that i had grown accustomed to being very pessimistic e.g suspicious of friendly strangers, disliking small talk, critiquing everything, getting easily irritated with the relaxed attitude of kiwi people, kiwi/Māori cultural idiosyncrasies and so on. I felt that the changes had caused me to lose a part of my identity, feeling like an alien in my own homeland. For example, i am Māori and our cultural and familial frameworks revolve around a collective identity, but living in Germany for so long, meant that certain individualistic traits were nurtured more, like my introversion, to acclimate/survive in a different environment contrary to te ao Māori - Māori worldview. I realised then that I was behaving exactly what I had been raging against. It took weeks to coax the collective self back out and be "whole" again.
Whilst i will never feel like germany is my home - im proud of Germans and their hard work getting Germany to the way it is now, speak the language when necessary (mother-in-law can speak neither english nor te Reo Māori) and will defend it when I feel the critique is unfair.
I've also come to my own sort of acceptance that i will always be "other" here, and that's really ok. I will be returning home in a few years to help my community and i hope to help "others" in nz to come to a sort of peace whilst they too are living so very far from their loved ones.
Edit# original comment has been updated to make it less nonsensical for judgy wankers to read better.
Your comment is nonsensical and even worse- a backhanded insult.
I would assume that your problem was most likely a projection of your negative prejudices onto your surroundings.
Anyway, I am glad you are happily back to NZ.
@@Celisar1 your comment is unnecessarily rude and lacking in empathy, compassion or understanding. You assumed wrong although you are correct in that the first edit of the post was written haphazardly. It was difficult to write something from a small phone, especially when writing a deeply personal, introspective analysis of accumulated life experiences.
My personal narrative has validity as all narratives do despite how you have chosen to interpret it as a backhanded insult. I do not see it as such but I won't dissuade you from your path of righteousness as I doubt it would change.
That said & for others who may read this; had you cared to ask before being a right prick and judging a complete stranger - the lack of preparation, culture shock, isolation, ill health and negative interactions/experiences with badisch Leute whilst living in Ba-Wü (note that I differentiated Ba-Wü and not Germany as a whole in the original post), established a perception that the value structure & cultures I deeply affiliated with, were not compatible with aspects of the Ba-Wü culture & people that I had experienced. I had no preconceived prejudices towards Germany as a culture or people - i was essentially moving to be with, and later marry my German husband. It is also not the entire picture of my life in Germany, but what I had experienced in one specific region.
Unfortunately for you, I am still in Germany, still appreciate my life here and still determined to make both positive & negative assessments (also known as having a nuanced perspective) of my experience in Ba-Wü.
So you can quite simply sod off with your judgement and eat a bag of dicks thank you. Tschüßie!
@@SalznPfeffer658 If you are not willing or not able to join the culture you live in: just go home, we won't miss people like you. Greetings from BW.
@@Celisar1 uh oh, there's a third comment but you must've said something naughty because CZcams is hiding it from view. Bwahahahaha 😜😆
I can't find the study now, but I remember reading in island nations, like Japan and Britain, there is a definite difference in the behaviour of their citizens regarding personal space, privacy, acceptable levels of touch or eye contact from people on the respective mainlands adjacent to them.
Very interesting. Nice vid.
Thanks Robin🙏
Originally from Canada, I've lived in Berlin for almost 26 years, and have no idea what is meant by the "German stare". I have no frame of reference for this, so perhaps someone can explain what I've failed to notice! I do know that I've always appreciated the greater degree of reserve in public, compared to Vancouver, yet at the same time, I can be very communicative, to a greater extent than is the norm, and find that it usually works out quite well. I seem to embody this paradox quite well.
I'm pretty sure the "German stare" thing is a recent invention of Anglo social media. Nobody ever brought it up until a couple years ago, and none of my foreign colleagues here in Germany have mentioned it among their complaints about Germany.
simple. Think of the last time you stared. IN Canada, new york, world wide, it is kind of normal to check out a situation, and to then look away. The idea is the same as with the fake friendlyness. you don't wanna engage, it could lead to a conversation. How scary! So you look away, and people see this and go, ahaha, I can behave however I want, right? look at all the germans, nobody wants to engage, that means my behavior right now is acceptable, right?
Now, lets transplant the same scene to germany. IF you live there, go to a bunch of people waiting at a sidewalk, and then try to cross the sidewalk at a red sign, you will get the "stare". Possibly even a bit of rudeness, as someone puts an arm out to you, and goes, "Denk an die Kinder, alder". YOu expected the "a german will slap you" meme? No. But we stare. Unblinking. Unmoving. we knew this could have just ended up on a 90's funniest home videos show, we just stare.
The greatest german compliment is if you never ever noticed the stare. That meant, you behaved so much as expected, you stepped into the background. you reached such a level of german ness, to a casual observer, he would not be able to pick you out as not fitting in. Those are the street oscars. we don't tell you you do fit in nicely, we just don't stare. we have accepted you as one of our own,we make no big deal out of it, here is your pfandflasche, here is your Hausschuh, lets go and stare at the american that screams while making the children of the corn noise.
What is meant by the German stare is that people stare at you on the street...meaning they hold eye contact for longer than would typically be considered "normal" in the UK.
I wouldn't necessarily call it a complaint but it is a definite difference
German stare? As an American that's lived in Germany for three decades I don't know what he's talking about.
I visited England several times, the last time was London during the coronation. I felt very good in London, but I noticed what you are talking about. You Brits put more emphasis on belonging to your country Britain. We Czechs, or at least I, probably feel that we belong to Europe.
Hello Petr. I was there as well...however I didn't see you...it was with only rainy day I had in the UK but it was still a fun day
You once belonged to the Emperor of Austria!
@@tancreddehauteville764so what? They were still an independent and ingenious people, which is proven in our time, as the most economical successful "new" member of EU..
What's your point anyway?
Czech culture are something special, without any sort of aggressions or nationalism issues..
Hardly said about Right Wing and corruption ridden Austria! 🫣🤮
Very interesting video. Thanks.
Thanks for watching
WOW. I only watched 2 minutes and this video is great done!
I hope you watched the rest of it 😃
@@britingermany Ofcourse. How could i resist this piece of art. With your professionalism you could easily work for any TV chanel.
There has always been a buy British ethos in the UK, I think its largely government funded because the UK has always had a negative balance of payments so buying British helps keep imports down as well as supporting local businesses. Germany has such a colossal positive balance of payments that its almost embarrassing for the country so encouraging Germans to buy foreign goods is not an issue. This is one of the huge ironies of the UK German comparison, though militarily victorious over Germany twice, Germany is a global economic giant compared to Britain, especially since Brexit when Britains financial service based economy took such a beating.
I thought it had always been the case but wasn't sure if it was this intense...maybe the message has ramped up since Brexit
Buy Britsh was a big thing in the 60's, even in Canada, as I remember.
As a Brit I’ve been learning German for 5 years, albeit slowly and I would’ve thought that you were German by your accent if I didn’t know better.
He's taken on some German "tone", yes!
The "music" or of a language is surpricingly easy catch - compared to the grammar (in German's case!!) and the pronounciation.
I've been here too long 🤣
I lived in Germany, Belgium and The Netherlands for over 15 years. I have now been living back in the UK for 20 years. The first thing I always notice when I travel to the aforementioned countries is how well presented they are compared to use. Their roads, buildings, trains, busses etc are immaculate. Whereas our streets appear to be lots of broken and different coloured tarmac, the pavements are not pavements they are also broken tarmac. There isnt much pride in the way our streets/buildings look. Of course there are exceptions but in general we are pretty shabby.
I suppose it depends where you look. I was actually really shocked by Brussels when I visited last year. Aside from the core old town things looked very run down there.
Well I have Brighton now on my bucket list and will tell my son, to take his guitar along. The way you described your fellow countrymen I already know, that I will like it there. Hopefully in a couple of years.
perfect. I would recommend May. It's not too hot, not too crowded and the hotels are not as exorbitant as they are in July or August
then have a closer look on "brighton beach busking", there are a lot of great musicians sharing their passion and love for music, like liv sangster, romain axisa and ren. have fun checking them out! 🙂
i think europe would benefit from the warm friendliness of spanish and Portuguese culture. They are friendly like the british but they are generally more open than the british which makes making friends easier.
I'm a Dutchie, living in Germany, and gosh do random Germans love to be chatted with! But they are very hesitant to actually start a conversation. :)
So it takes a Dutchie to make the first move 😉
@@britingermany Haha! Typical, ain't it? :)
Entirely quiet waiting rooms, until we come in. :D
@@ScapestoatDid you gain any further contacts? German women are the most "cold" and calculating I've met throughout Europe ❄️😄
VW, Wohnung and Social status are mandatory options before any deeper contact are considered 😴
@@OmmerSyssel Yeah, I did. Though mostly acquaintances. Plenty of people who recognize me and sometimes have a chat.
Though that is also at least partially my fault; I am 40+, so I have more responsibilities than I used to, and I have that disease that they call "long covid" nowadays, so I don't have a ton of energy.
So I don't know how representative my experience is. I imagine that if I had put more effort in, I would have made more random friends.
I guess it depends on where you are. How densely populated the area is. The way you communicate. Etc.
In general Germans are indeed a little too pre-occupied with where you are from and what you do for a living, and other such ultimately irrelevant parts of people's lives. But I have learned how to deal with that (answer and redirect in a single breath). And I really don't find it to be too bothersome.
They have to deal with my poor German language skills, so it ends up about even. :)
German guy here: ever since I was addressed with "What can I do for you, love?" by the elderly lady in the grocery shop when I was a student at Sussex Uni in the 80´s I have loved the way Brits communicate. Imagine the cultural shock I had! - Yes, to a German it´seems superficial. But hey, I trade superficial friendliness against solid "I don´t care"s any day. (Not suggesting that Germans don´t care...)
Liked the vid, like the UK a lot (hate BREXIT).
Thank you 🙏
In Lancashire they say, “Are you alright, love?”
I understand that the Union Jack is used so much. It just looks cool.
I think it is one of the most used flags for merchandise...there is a certain something to it
Please, please... Know, if you come to Denmark and see Dannebrog flying everywhere, like in EverYWhere, it's not because we're nationalists. It's because there's a party of some sort in the hood 🎉 🥳🎉
On one of the first trips through the Danish country side with my British husband 2b, we drove in to a village, where practically every house had the flag up.
I instantly run dates in my head, and conclude it can be confirmation or graduation. I say out loud:
I wonder what's going on here 🤔 while trying to locate a sign of some sort: Jubilee, Anniversary, 75 years ...
Hubby 2b goes: I don't know, but it's scary, so let's get the fåk out of here 😨
Now I'm like a big question mark: Whyyyy?
Culture Clash 🤣🤣 I'm all "happy days" and he's like "WTF?"
There's no such thing as a birthday without flags here. To such an extend that small children call it Fødselsdagsflag instead of Dannebrog. (birthdayflag).
And it gets worse: If you're in Danmark on June 15th, you'll se flags EverYWhere.
It's because it's Dannebrog's birthday (it'll be 804 years this summer). Which we - naturally - celebrate with flags 🙄
If this isn't the world's most silly relationship with a national flag, I'd like to see the one that is 🤣🤣
Exactly my argument for living in Sweden. (Born in Denmark)
It's the best relationship to a flag! In Germany we only have flags in private houses when Germany reaches the final in a soccer match... Not a lot of flags in the last few years 😉
Best wishes to Denmark, a wonderful country! 👍❤️
Very interesting. Thanks for sharing 😀
@@hcandersen6840Hvor selvfed og dum ka man være ... Er du Køwenhavner? 🤭🇩🇰
The friendlynis of the British is genuine.
Dispite my name I am originally from the UK though haven't lived there for more than a decade and reside/am married in Germany.
In many way the diversity between regions in both countries is greater than the differences between the averages of the countries. I've spent a great deal of time cycling across Europe and the near east and my various routes have criss crossed Germany giving me a reasonable sample of localities.
Upon my occasional return to the UK I too am aware of what differences there are, not just in space/between countries, but also in time.
The draping of everything in union jacks has been a growing trend, it would certainly not have been such a feature in my childhood. This certainly gives me a sense of distance from a country I once called home.
I would say Germany is unique in this way, also from a number of other european countries, resulting from its past. The dangers of empassioned nationalism around ultimately what requires a narrowing of identity are remembered to a reasonable extend in Germany but are alas being forgotten in many other countries around Europe, hence the rise of the far right. This is of course the extremum of the mentality but reflects a growing trend. Sadly, whilst it is hindered in Germany polling suggests that what might not be said may be thought in terms of simplistic patriotism, more so than appears on the surface.
Hi! I’m new here. I’m American and have lived for 5 years in Germany (near Bonn). Lately I’ve become quite interested in British culture. This is the first of your videos I’ve watched and enjoyed your style and the way you speak. Just thought I’d send some positivity your way. 👍
Thanks so much Andrea. That means a lot 😀