More than anything, borderline is a war with the validity of your negative feelings. You can imagine how disregulated one can become when negative feelings are denied or seen as obstacles to life. Eventually, negative emotions arise in response to having negative emotions which are further denied. This leads down the rabbit hole to depression and emptiness.
Such an empathetic, genuine therapist. Amazing!!!! Educated and caring. What a role model for an effective healer. Love how he uses humor and a non-judgemental stance with his clients.
I really like that he recognizes her feelings as valid experiences, and not as something wrong or evil. Because they are valid experiences. Emotions happen. And most of the time, they are perfectly understandable. I also like that he throws in some jokes from time to time. It makes the whole thing less heavy, and more human.
I remember a psychiatrist / author responding to criticism of his use of a few zingers in his column in Psychology Today. He acknowledged that he was taking a small, calculated risk, but believed he needed to leave an impression with the patient to "make it stick" when he was encouraging them that their feelings of the moment were not immutable, inevitable, monolithic, etc. If you can laugh at your situation even a little, that reaction can be a step out of the overwhelm. Disproportionality of response, and a pervasive sense of daily catastrophe *are* the adversaries. Showing your faceless adversaries (overwhelming emotions) a little healthy disrespect means you think you can beat them. If your own overreactions can look funny for a second, they lose some of their ability to incite fear, dread, inevitability, etc.
Fruzetti did a two day training for the eating disorder treatment center at which I work. He's a master. Love the frequent and disarming alternations between validation and irreverence to keep the forward momentum.
Good video. Therapy is not a cut and dry process. In truth therapy is difficult to conduct as it is to receive. Some many think Dr. Fruzzetti was not taking things seriously or joking too much, but this is his approach. When working with Borderline patients who have such serious emotions and situations, sometimes the seriousness needs to be deflated. As most therapists still today do not work with patients who are Borderline, I think he did a good job in the video.
As someone who has BPD and has been very much helped by particular counselors, and now functions really quite well, I can say that going to this guy would have been an absolute disaster. He is for sure belittling her, precisely what a BPD patient does not need more of. While a counselor needs to question *with the patient* (after all most BPD patients are very intelligent, and besides which self-determination should be respected) the conclusions and coping mechanisms a BPD patient might come to/come to use, they should not question their experience or the validity of it. I don't think he's being empathetic at all, besides which, I don't think he's being particularly smart as he doesn't seem to understand some of the pretty straight-forward points she's making.
Agreed. I am not BPD but rather, I've been researching DBT for our daughter who does not have a diagnosis yet but may be BPD or NPD. Just watching the beginning portion of this video was rather upsetting. I wouldn't appreciate a therapist being so flippant about my daughter's distress and I know my daughter would respond very intensely if she was this patient.
But YOUR perception is not HER perception. Everyone with BPD is not a single person, there isn't one shared consciousness. Just because you share her diagnosis does not mean you think or feel the same. Where you perceived belittling and callousness, she clearly experienced empathy and support. In fact, she said her level of connection and sense of validation was the highest it's ever been. It clearly worked for her. Which is to say, he isn't a bad therapist, he's just a bad therapist for YOU. Neither are right or wrong, just a bad fit.
Borderline personality is rooted in invalidation. Instead of saying "you look terrible," if he'd said "You look like you're really hurting today," this whole session could have gone differently.
Here’s the thing though. People in the real world will say “you look terrible” and not the more therapeutic way of approaching it. He’s teaching her interpersonal skills.
And, it's a role play. I felt like he was more, trying to inform the audience that this is a really "bad" day for her, "5th or 6th session, prioritizing suicide and self harm at the top of the hierarchy" he recovers from that comment with Grace and humility, demonstrating how a good Therapist would react in the midst of a client who felt invalidated by something they've said. Flawless
From a patients prospective, I would most likely give this Dr. a second chance but if he was the same on the second visit I would be rid of him. I personally find that once some one starts throwing out rapid fire yes, uh huh, o.k. etc... that their focus is not on me at all and they are feigning interest to appease me, not at all what I want in my Dr. this is what my Dr. does and I truly feel she listens and cares, eye contact and the occasional acknowledgement when appropriate. I know this was a dramatization and Dr. Fruzzetti may not do this all the time, I only mention it because it seems that most of the comments come from people in the field, perhaps gathering such suggestions from your clients would help them feel more comfortable, and as you know, an uncomfortable patient is much less willing to talk about their inner most thoughts. I am a vet and have had very little luck with care and doctors at the VA, so I consider myself quite fortunate to have Dr. Doyle and would recommend her to any vet in the Phoenix area.
I liked how the Dr was distracting her from her own suicidal and negative thinking. He validated her feelings but needed to take the heaviness she was feeling towards herself. Blaming and shaming herself is causing her so much pain and hopefully, she is getting better each day.
I like this technique, cause the therapist try to make different feeling scenarios to one situation. He shows to her, that there is another alternatives not only get mat or destructiveness ...
Pretty enjoyable to watch...the comedy kinda helped to take the edge off a serious topic. I can see how and why this style of therapy is medium to long term.
The jokes are called irreverence. The idea is to bring her out of the funk she is getting stuck in and try and redirect her. Its a way of distracting her.
@@catbee1452 In DBT we really don't go validation when there's a lot of dysfunctional behavior or the therapist is stuck - it all depends - AND the client did well in getting unstuck so it worked.
@@dcdno_one2393 agree, which reminds me of a video called Borderliner Notes where Marsha Linehan, founder of Dbt talks about Bpd, and Anger if a client wants to talk longer periods than an hour, she cannot talk longer they get angry, which makes sense but not effective to be angry, tells them to cut it out. The thing is being angry isn't effective in where you're going to get in dbt.
I think he chose an less dignified opening approach bc of her exposure to multiple other therapists. She's seen all the textbook methods already. He was able to reach her. I think it really worked for this situation. Of couse it wouldn't for every situation
Wasnt this scripted, I mean it severely bothered me for a bit until i realized it is an attempt to demonstrate client/therapist BL issues, the audience laughter was so so very distressing at first then I reached that conclusion quickly.
I can't imagine putting myself in a position to become vulnerable to a therapist and then experiencing them fire me, over and over. I'd rather never go to therapy bc being fired multiple times, that would make everything so much worse. I'd feel guilty of wasting someone's time and I'd feel ashamed for even feeling like I was deserving of help to begin with.
What a disrespectful therapist! He seems sexist and obnoxious, calling someone 'kiddo' how patrionising, 'you look terrible'. She should leave therapy. He is confrontational and telling her what she is paying attention to. This type of 'therapy' can only retraumatise a person. He is being judgemental and how threatening it could feel for him to stand up all of a sudden and fix his clothes.
Many folks in DBT have brains that race so fast, that this level of interruption and speed is the only way to keep up with them. If we let them sit for a bit, often twenty other things come up and we can't actually solve any problems or get any movement anywhere. DBT is for patients that have chaotic lives and there are always 1000 problems to solve. This is a 10-year-old video when calling her "kiddo", wouldn't have been so wrong. He is interrupting shame, which is essential to therapy. Letting people wallow in shame is not helpful. This treatment is different and the folks in DBT are often folks that standard therapy has failed them. We have very specific targets and hierarchies of targets, that establish how focused we are. Therapy destroying behavior is the number one priority over all else, even the urge to die by suicide. He first addresses this, then moves to target number 2 for DBT, which is life-threatening behavior.
yes is this an actress, could there be more information about this clip, so that I am not sitting in disbelief thinking this man is totally insensitive. ?
This laughing is awful. :'( Be quiet. LISTEN to the pain she is in. Respect it and validate it. THEN move forward in the session. THAT is how you create a relationship of trust. I really respect therapists who can work with people who experience such intense emotions. But the moment this man called me kiddo, I'd be out.
i really need to do something about my boderlined personality disorder. do i need to be locked away from everyone or do i need to get etc? I don't know how my current boyfriend is going to tolerate this illness.
Hitler Hinkle hey, go to therapist! don't overthink it, don't analyze it, just try to find someone good in your area! also - BPD is affected by diet! more fats, less sugar - not kidding!
that's great, you are on a better place than me so I congratulate you ! :) try this site, might help you - 7 cups of tea if you don't want to go to a therapist right away :) and challenge yourself to be honest with everything - I found this really challenge BPDs, but helps a TON!
Hitler Hinkle Hey, first of all, don't worry about your boyfriend having to "tolerate" this illness. If you had cancer, you probably wouldn't be worrying about your boyfriend "tolerating" your cancer, if someone truly cares about you then they won't care.
To me it seems like his approach works with her. For me, the pace of the conversation would be too fast and while I do benefit from humor, I think his style would be too provocative. Furthermore, I need time to talk and think without the therapist interjecting and making assumptions.
Many folks in DBT have brains that race so fast, that this level of interruption and speed is the only way to keep up with them. If we let them sit for a bit, often twenty other things come up and we can't actually solve any problems or get any movement anywhere. DBT is for patient's that have chaotic lives and there are always 1000 problems to solve.
I found that the way he started off was condescending to her obvious distress. "You look awful"..(.wow)...(like whoopsie! Me bad!). Then goes on to say he didn't mean it like that and "that's what I tell my wife all the time"...like, wuh?? Think if I were the patient, I would have left the room. This is serious business--there's nothing humorous about a therapist (accidentally) making light of a patient's pain. Perhaps he just slipped up with the script but when he continued to joke about it, I stopped the video... (please see my next comment--after watching the video in full, I gained a more solid understanding of his approach)
Ok, so I decided to watch the rest of the video and now I have a better understanding of his technique. Yes, he has a very calm humor which may push the patient enough so that they will talk about their strong response and then it's addressed in a very logical, practical manner. He stays in control of the situation while encouraging the patient to stay in the moment and talk through the issues. He reminds me of a incredibly loved and respected oncologist I used to work with...almost identical in manner and speech. His patients were intensely ill, many had lost all hope. Because he was upfront with the issues, yet calm and reassuring, his patients (many who were close to dying or were terrified of dying) placed their trust in him and felt reassured under his care. I see the same approach here with Dr Fruzzetti.
I know that people with BPD go through a lot of emotional pain. I do feel sorry for them; nevertheless, i am really glad that it is not my job to take care of them. You have to have skin of steel to steel with such inter-personally destructive behavior.
***** I am glad you are trying. Its a rough road and all people with BPD have my sympathy. I hope that you can understand that I am someone who has known a couple people with BPD well enough to know, that I really don't want to walk the road withthem. I have my own path and my own problems to deal with but i count myself luckythat BPD is not one.
naemasufi Makes sense. I use that a bit as a teacher, but honestly i always carry a lot of empathy and teh desire to correct mistakes, both of which contribute to being a teacher, but would probably make me crazy if I regularly worked with people who had BPD.
@michalchik Don't masquerade condescension as concern. You think it would drive you crazy working with a PERSON WITH BPD (not "a bpd")? Try actually having it some time. THEN you'll know what feeling crazy is. It's beyond painful. 10% of people suffering from BPD kill themselves. That number is HUGE. So, congratulations on not having BPD. Jerk.
yikes - is this an actress or a real patient? The patient begins stating "that was really mean!" The therapist makes references to his wife, and refers to the patient as "kiddo". Is this a joke?
I'd have given my therapist soooo much shit for trying to crack as many jokes as this guy, this isn't the time to test your stand up comedy skills, that isn't what we pay your extortionate prices for.
Okay then how EXACTLY should he have done this, and why are you seeing a therapist if you already know how its supposed to go? The point of his approach is to speak only to the part of the client that is striving for good, that wants to be there, that is actually trying to be better.
What a waste of time. I get that they are role playing, but the way he speaks to her is so out of line. He's very sarcastic and antagonizing. The audience laughing ruins the video even more.
+justpeekinaroundhere I agree too. He is belittling her, and therefore also the rest of us. He is approaching her as if she was a joke. Not feeling understood is my main trigger, and this video did trigger me big time, when it should be the opposite way. It reminds me why I shy away from therapy although it is needed so much. I can't talk to someone who has never felt the pain themselves.
Yeah, what an asshole. I had to shut the video off very soon in. This is a horrible therapist. People like him make it so hard for lots of people to get help or to stick with it. I recommend for folks looking for actually intelligent, empathetic addresses to BPD stuff the work done by Aaron Blaise (there are some videos on youtube). Sorry for the folks watching this.
DBT and it's practitioners are a bizarre blend of profound thought and batshit insanity. The technique he's applying here is "irreverence". It may work for some. As a client, I get frustrated with shrinks who try to be clever, rather than saying what's really on their mind
I don't find this funny, I find it condescending and it makes a mockery of treatment. He starts off being rude, insensitive and his tone is awful. He starts by goading her for a reaction. The exploration of the dynamics between her and John however, was handelled well. What it does illustrate and reinforce, is the countless times I've heard academics talk about how people with BPD are viewed by therapists in the main.
He is one of the leading therapists in this field. This is a prime example or what people think therapy looks like versus what it actually does look like.
She is extremely good in portraying a BPD patient.... Good acting👍🏼
More than anything, borderline is a war with the validity of your negative feelings.
You can imagine how disregulated one can become when negative feelings are denied or seen as obstacles to life. Eventually, negative emotions arise in response to having negative emotions which are further denied.
This leads down the rabbit hole to depression and emptiness.
Comedy is not out of place in DBT, TFP, or MBT. This was a very good session.
At first I thought it was triggering. Now I realized it's not so.
Such an empathetic, genuine therapist. Amazing!!!! Educated and caring. What a role model for an effective healer. Love how he uses humor and a non-judgemental stance with his clients.
I cried bc of how much I appreciate that there are people like this therapist that actually exist.
But he is very empathetic, and funny😇
I really like that he recognizes her feelings as valid experiences, and not as something wrong or evil.
Because they are valid experiences. Emotions happen. And most of the time, they are perfectly understandable.
I also like that he throws in some jokes from time to time. It makes the whole thing less heavy, and more human.
Yep, that’s a pillar of DBT
I remember a psychiatrist / author responding to criticism of his use of a few zingers in his column in Psychology Today. He acknowledged that he was taking a small, calculated risk, but believed he needed to leave an impression with the patient to "make it stick" when he was encouraging them that their feelings of the moment were not immutable, inevitable, monolithic, etc. If you can laugh at your situation even a little, that reaction can be a step out of the overwhelm. Disproportionality of response, and a pervasive sense of daily catastrophe *are* the adversaries. Showing your faceless adversaries (overwhelming emotions) a little healthy disrespect means you think you can beat them. If your own overreactions can look funny for a second, they lose some of their ability to incite fear, dread, inevitability, etc.
This girl and the counselor are both AWESOME PEOPLE. Thank you for being so honest and straightforward.
Fruzetti did a two day training for the eating disorder treatment center at which I work. He's a master. Love the frequent and disarming alternations between validation and irreverence to keep the forward momentum.
Tribute2the80s
What ED Tx facility do you work @? I am taking a lot of trainings in ED’s and want to combine it with EMDR in my practice.
Good video. Therapy is not a cut and dry process. In truth therapy is difficult to conduct as it is to receive. Some many think Dr. Fruzzetti was not taking things seriously or joking too much, but this is his approach. When working with Borderline patients who have such serious emotions and situations, sometimes the seriousness needs to be deflated. As most therapists still today do not work with patients who are Borderline, I think he did a good job in the video.
Nathan Driskell: Asperger's & Internet Addiction Specialist me too !
As someone who has BPD and has been very much helped by particular counselors, and now functions really quite well, I can say that going to this guy would have been an absolute disaster. He is for sure belittling her, precisely what a BPD patient does not need more of. While a counselor needs to question *with the patient* (after all most BPD patients are very intelligent, and besides which self-determination should be respected) the conclusions and coping mechanisms a BPD patient might come to/come to use, they should not question their experience or the validity of it. I don't think he's being empathetic at all, besides which, I don't think he's being particularly smart as he doesn't seem to understand some of the pretty straight-forward points she's making.
Agreed. I am not BPD but rather, I've been researching DBT for our daughter who does not have a diagnosis yet but may be BPD or NPD. Just watching the beginning portion of this video was rather upsetting. I wouldn't appreciate a therapist being so flippant about my daughter's distress and I know my daughter would respond very intensely if she was this patient.
@@catbee1452 I agree, I am on a waiting list for DBT. His approach wouldn't work with me.
But YOUR perception is not HER perception. Everyone with BPD is not a single person, there isn't one shared consciousness. Just because you share her diagnosis does not mean you think or feel the same. Where you perceived belittling and callousness, she clearly experienced empathy and support. In fact, she said her level of connection and sense of validation was the highest it's ever been. It clearly worked for her. Which is to say, he isn't a bad therapist, he's just a bad therapist for YOU. Neither are right or wrong, just a bad fit.
I started crying 7 minutes in... I need this therapy and hope to help myself as much as I can till my insurance kicks in next year...
any updates??
There are books
Clear indication you need therapy, don't hesitate-
The cameraman have some solid Parkinson tremors
LOL
That’s bc the lens was zoomed in too much and it wasn’t supported on a tripod.
Borderline personality is rooted in invalidation. Instead of saying "you look terrible," if he'd said "You look like you're really hurting today," this whole session could have gone differently.
Here’s the thing though. People in the real world will say “you look terrible” and not the more therapeutic way of approaching it. He’s teaching her interpersonal skills.
And, it's a role play. I felt like he was more, trying to inform the audience that this is a really "bad" day for her, "5th or 6th session, prioritizing suicide and self harm at the top of the hierarchy"
he recovers from that comment with Grace and humility, demonstrating how a good Therapist would react in the midst of a client who felt invalidated by something they've said. Flawless
From a patients prospective, I would most likely give this Dr. a second chance but if he was the same on the second visit I would be rid of him. I personally find that once some one starts throwing out rapid fire yes, uh huh, o.k. etc... that their focus is not on me at all and they are feigning interest to appease me, not at all what I want in my Dr. this is what my Dr. does and I truly feel she listens and cares, eye contact and the occasional acknowledgement when appropriate.
I know this was a dramatization and Dr. Fruzzetti may not do this all the time, I only mention it because it seems that most of the comments come from people in the field, perhaps gathering such suggestions from your clients would help them feel more comfortable, and as you know, an uncomfortable patient is much less willing to talk about their inner most thoughts.
I am a vet and have had very little luck with care and doctors at the VA, so I consider myself quite fortunate to have Dr. Doyle and would recommend her to any vet in the Phoenix area.
I liked how the Dr was distracting her from her own suicidal and negative thinking. He validated her feelings but needed to take the heaviness she was feeling towards herself. Blaming and shaming herself is causing her so much pain and hopefully, she is getting better each day.
You do realise this was acting for the purpose of démonstration in front of a live audience?
I wish this guy could help my daughter! I can see him truly helping her.
I hope she gets help, I’m looking for DBT too for my (recently diagnosed) borderline personality disorder.
@@AdamFerrari64 I encourage both you and Amy to find yourself a CBT shrink who's familiar with "third wave" practices like DBT, ACT, SFT, etc etc
His personality is so adorable he reminds me of my doctor so much haha 💕
What a great counselor !!
I like this technique, cause the therapist try to make different feeling scenarios to one situation. He shows to her, that there is another alternatives not only get mat or destructiveness ...
It's an old video but worth watch😁 complete absolute fulfilling therapy session of DBT& CBT
Pretty enjoyable to watch...the comedy kinda helped to take the edge off a serious topic. I can see how and why this style of therapy is medium to long term.
Master class !
Excellent video ✅
If you need to increase your frustration tolerance for this video, check out Albert Ellis doing therapy. You ain't seen nothing yet.
I am a support worker in mental health and this role play is a good example of how difficult it is to get a BDP to engage in here and now.
naemasufi the person suffering is a person not a bpd!
you probably need a lot of training
a BPD?
@@lisaj5769 dsm
The jokes are called irreverence. The idea is to bring her out of the funk she is getting stuck in and try and redirect her. Its a way of distracting her.
Perhaps validation would have been a better approach, not distraction.
Perhaps not
I'm on both sides of the coin, and do respect both facts, and opinions.
@@catbee1452 In DBT we really don't go validation when there's a lot of dysfunctional behavior or the therapist is stuck - it all depends - AND the client did well in getting unstuck so it worked.
@@dcdno_one2393 agree, which reminds me of a video called Borderliner Notes where Marsha Linehan, founder of Dbt talks about Bpd, and Anger if a client wants to talk longer periods than an hour, she cannot talk longer they get angry, which makes sense but not effective to be angry, tells them to cut it out. The thing is being angry isn't effective in where you're going to get in dbt.
I think he chose an less dignified opening approach bc of her exposure to multiple other therapists. She's seen all the textbook methods already. He was able to reach her. I think it really worked for this situation. Of couse it wouldn't for every situation
Hey beg to differ, it's one of the methodologies of therapy -
I thought this was quite helpful!
Wasnt this scripted, I mean it severely bothered me for a bit until i realized it is an attempt to demonstrate client/therapist BL issues, the audience laughter was so so very distressing at first then I reached that conclusion quickly.
I can't imagine putting myself in a position to become vulnerable to a therapist and then experiencing them fire me, over and over. I'd rather never go to therapy bc being fired multiple times, that would make everything so much worse. I'd feel guilty of wasting someone's time and I'd feel ashamed for even feeling like I was deserving of help to begin with.
Rough. And awkward that the audience is laughing (at someone with intense suicidal thoughts).
I dont understand...is this scripted to show the audience how a session is or is this a TRUE session in front of a class of strangers?
Scripted.
What a disrespectful therapist! He seems sexist and obnoxious, calling someone 'kiddo' how patrionising, 'you look terrible'. She should leave therapy. He is confrontational and telling her what she is paying attention to. This type of 'therapy' can only retraumatise a person. He is being judgemental and how threatening it could feel for him to stand up all of a sudden and fix his clothes.
She employs the therapist and pays him, it is not her that gets fired. He would be the one to get fired. I am horrified by this professional
Many folks in DBT have brains that race so fast, that this level of interruption and speed is the only way to keep up with them. If we let them sit for a bit, often twenty other things come up and we can't actually solve any problems or get any movement anywhere. DBT is for patients that have chaotic lives and there are always 1000 problems to solve. This is a 10-year-old video when calling her "kiddo", wouldn't have been so wrong. He is interrupting shame, which is essential to therapy. Letting people wallow in shame is not helpful. This treatment is different and the folks in DBT are often folks that standard therapy has failed them. We have very specific targets and hierarchies of targets, that establish how focused we are. Therapy destroying behavior is the number one priority over all else, even the urge to die by suicide. He first addresses this, then moves to target number 2 for DBT, which is life-threatening behavior.
Is this a real session
yes is this an actress, could there be more information about this clip, so that I am not sitting in disbelief thinking this man is totally insensitive. ?
You don't get it. He is masterful.
Yep right, it severely disturbed me until the light bulb went on.
brilliant. his irreverence works.
This guy takes the cake for delegitimizing the trauma of losing 5 therapists and then tells her “You haven’t lost me YET”. Wow. Not fit.
This laughing is awful. :'( Be quiet. LISTEN to the pain she is in. Respect it and validate it. THEN move forward in the session. THAT is how you create a relationship of trust. I really respect therapists who can work with people who experience such intense emotions. But the moment this man called me kiddo, I'd be out.
Mizzle Diz I agree.
Shes an actor
You know this is a role play right?
If the patient is laughing, the crowd should, it adds value
There are courses for professionals in order to handle the intense and sometimes hurtful responses from patients with BPD.
i really need to do something about my boderlined personality disorder. do i need to be locked away from everyone or do i need to get etc? I don't know how my current boyfriend is going to tolerate this illness.
Hitler Hinkle hey, go to therapist! don't overthink it, don't analyze it, just try to find someone good in your area! also - BPD is affected by diet! more fats, less sugar - not kidding!
i already eat high fat, high protein diet with very little sugar and do an hour of cardio each day
that's great, you are on a better place than me so I congratulate you ! :) try this site, might help you - 7 cups of tea if you don't want to go to a therapist right away :) and challenge yourself to be honest with everything - I found this really challenge BPDs, but helps a TON!
That's very helpful. Thank you, Ann.
Hitler Hinkle Hey, first of all, don't worry about your boyfriend having to "tolerate" this illness. If you had cancer, you probably wouldn't be worrying about your boyfriend "tolerating" your cancer, if someone truly cares about you then they won't care.
I have BPD, and this comes across more like farce than therapy. Is this meant to be informative or entertaining.
+Ichabod Crane Both?
Both, I made the mistake of taking it seriously at first and was very very distressing, then I got the point.
Its scripted
To me it seems like his approach works with her. For me, the pace of the conversation would be too fast and while I do benefit from humor, I think his style would be too provocative. Furthermore, I need time to talk and think without the therapist interjecting and making assumptions.
Many folks in DBT have brains that race so fast, that this level of interruption and speed is the only way to keep up with them. If we let them sit for a bit, often twenty other things come up and we can't actually solve any problems or get any movement anywhere. DBT is for patient's that have chaotic lives and there are always 1000 problems to solve.
Laurabeth, why should you not treat a borderline client over the phone?
Coz they need facial expressions
I found that the way he started off was condescending to her obvious distress. "You look awful"..(.wow)...(like whoopsie! Me bad!). Then goes on to say he didn't mean it like that and "that's what I tell my wife all the time"...like, wuh?? Think if I were the patient, I would have left the room. This is serious business--there's nothing humorous about a therapist (accidentally) making light of a patient's pain. Perhaps he just slipped up with the script but when he continued to joke about it, I stopped the video... (please see my next comment--after watching the video in full, I gained a more solid understanding of his approach)
Ok, so I decided to watch the rest of the video and now I have a better understanding of his technique. Yes, he has a very calm humor which may push the patient enough so that they will talk about their strong response and then it's addressed in a very logical, practical manner. He stays in control of the situation while encouraging the patient to stay in the moment and talk through the issues. He reminds me of a incredibly loved and respected oncologist I used to work with...almost identical in manner and speech. His patients were intensely ill, many had lost all hope. Because he was upfront with the issues, yet calm and reassuring, his patients (many who were close to dying or were terrified of dying) placed their trust in him and felt reassured under his care. I see the same approach here with Dr Fruzzetti.
I know that people with BPD go through a lot of emotional pain. I do feel sorry for them; nevertheless, i am really glad that it is not my job to take care of them. You have to have skin of steel to steel with such inter-personally destructive behavior.
*****
I am glad you are trying. Its a rough road and all people with BPD have my sympathy. I hope that you can understand that I am someone who has known a couple people with BPD well enough to know, that I really don't want to walk the road withthem. I have my own path and my own problems to deal with but i count myself luckythat BPD is not one.
it is my job, a skin of steel is not the answer - observe but don't absorb works better (Ross Rosenberg quote)
naemasufi
Makes sense. I use that a bit as a teacher, but honestly i always carry a lot of empathy and teh desire to correct mistakes, both of which contribute to being a teacher, but would probably make me crazy if I regularly worked with people who had BPD.
michalchik haha I usually do the crazy frog impression at the end of the shift
@michalchik Don't masquerade condescension as concern. You think it would drive you crazy working with a PERSON WITH BPD (not "a bpd")? Try actually having it some time. THEN you'll know what feeling crazy is. It's beyond painful. 10% of people suffering from BPD kill themselves. That number is HUGE. So, congratulations on not having BPD. Jerk.
Is this an act?
kiddo?
This was a personal attack. Almost saw myself in her
yikes - is this an actress or a real patient? The patient begins stating "that was really mean!" The therapist makes references to his wife, and refers to the patient as "kiddo".
Is this a joke?
This is all bad if she is not an actress
I'd have given my therapist soooo much shit for trying to crack as many jokes as this guy, this isn't the time to test your stand up comedy skills, that isn't what we pay your extortionate prices for.
Okay then how EXACTLY should he have done this, and why are you seeing a therapist if you already know how its supposed to go?
The point of his approach is to speak only to the part of the client that is striving for good, that wants to be there, that is actually trying to be better.
What a waste of time. I get that they are role playing, but the way he speaks to her is so out of line. He's very sarcastic and antagonizing. The audience laughing ruins the video even more.
+justpeekinaroundhere I agree too. He is belittling her, and therefore also the rest of us. He is approaching her as if she was a joke. Not feeling understood is my main trigger, and this video did trigger me big time, when it should be the opposite way. It reminds me why I shy away from therapy although it is needed so much. I can't talk to someone who has never felt the pain themselves.
It's the audience that's laughing...I don't think they meant to make them laugh.
Most of these doctors are smug SOBs
Yeah, what an asshole. I had to shut the video off very soon in. This is a horrible therapist. People like him make it so hard for lots of people to get help or to stick with it. I recommend for folks looking for actually intelligent, empathetic addresses to BPD stuff the work done by Aaron Blaise (there are some videos on youtube). Sorry for the folks watching this.
DBT and it's practitioners are a bizarre blend of profound thought and batshit insanity. The technique he's applying here is "irreverence". It may work for some. As a client, I get frustrated with shrinks who try to be clever, rather than saying what's really on their mind
I don't find this funny, I find it condescending and it makes a mockery of treatment. He starts off being rude, insensitive and his tone is awful. He starts by goading her for a reaction. The exploration of the dynamics between her and John however, was handelled well. What it does illustrate and reinforce, is the countless times I've heard academics talk about how people with BPD are viewed by therapists in the main.
One thing I have learned in dealing with clients that have BPD, is NOT to try to help them over the phone!
Phone calls are a central part of their treatment! Of course with specific rules such as willingness to accept help or use dbt skills.
is she ACTING she has BPD? Why not have someone who actually has it?
Can’t see anyone being too keen to get up there for everyone to laugh at
Bc that would be cruel and unethical.
Nope
Laughing is unsettling
So is your mom
Dr. Fruzzetti comes off as pompous, argumentative, and totally demeaning. 0/10
guys, she's an actress; calm down lol
Whoever was in charge of the camera needed to get fired. You're horrible at what you do. Regardless, this dr is amazing, great work! 😊
Actor or no actor... dude seems out of his depth.
He is one of the leading therapists in this field. This is a prime example or what people think therapy looks like versus what it actually does look like.
I Can't watch this! Are you fucking kidding me
Don’t watch it then motherf****r!😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿
Really sad that the audience seem to laugh as though this is some form of entertainment.
It can help to some extent- but Kudos to the patient who is willing to share things in public
Guys, this is a role play! She’s an actor!