The Day I Broke My Ass

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  • čas přidán 15. 07. 2022
  • Listen to the Full Story Here ►► open.spotify.com/episode/1CiF...
    Did you know that I used to do parkour? It went about as well as that episode of The Office...
    Animated By ► / @haricz
    More Animations ► • Markiplier Animated!
  • Hry

Komentáře • 7K

  • @lucaswickmansound
    @lucaswickmansound Před rokem +5069

    “It can’t be that hard”
    -Mark, before doing something he probably cannot do

  • @decrien
    @decrien Před rokem +11439

    hi, mild parkourist here. to put this animation into perspective the highest that the beginner 2 (so good but still learning) students at my gym drop and roll from is about 4 feet onto a mat, and most of them still mess up the timing. Mark dropped from 4x that height as his first time ever doing a shoulder roll. that is insane

    • @JohnnyShagbot
      @JohnnyShagbot Před rokem +594

      Still didn't die though!

    • @jjpark98
      @jjpark98 Před rokem +3

      What doesn't kill you makes you realize how stupid you were in hindsight.

    • @astrocake584
      @astrocake584 Před rokem +1

      @@JohnnyShagbot just busted his ass

    • @jackb3822
      @jackb3822 Před rokem +568

      Yeah this place sounds like it has 30 lawsuits in the making

    • @Ichengo42
      @Ichengo42 Před rokem +475

      I feel like Mark is a very blessed man at this point, he's endured so much and came out on top like a champ, his positivity is something to behold.

  • @woo9194
    @woo9194 Před rokem +5382

    I think the sirens might've been an ambulance for the kid who dropped down on his face.

    • @killerclone2177
      @killerclone2177 Před rokem +91

      yea

    • @AngryNerdBird
      @AngryNerdBird Před rokem +206

      EXACTLY what I was thinking. lol

    • @no-one...186
      @no-one...186 Před rokem +51

      Oooh that makes sense

    • @IRefuseToUseThisStupidFeature
      @IRefuseToUseThisStupidFeature Před rokem +36

      How was that not the immediate thought. I was thinking, did he call? Or did someone else call, after he passed out? Is he even alive? spinal injury likely.

    • @atinofspam3433
      @atinofspam3433 Před rokem +27

      Well, at least where I live, Fire Engines, Ambulances and Police cars all have distinct sounding sirens

  • @msthecommentator2863
    @msthecommentator2863 Před rokem +6221

    The fact that they just...let the guy walk off despite obviously having his ribs shattered was insane to me, imagine if that was the last time they saw that kid. 😭

  • @ImperfectXIII
    @ImperfectXIII Před rokem +5357

    "I look up, and they're gone" is the PERFECT punchline to this story.

    • @nickenglehart6469
      @nickenglehart6469 Před rokem +90

      They never even existed mark mind made em up just to have a reason to do parkour

    • @raphi6817
      @raphi6817 Před rokem +1

      As all things should be.

    • @bluelfsuma
      @bluelfsuma Před rokem +32

      Nah, man. The best punchline is when Mark realizes he never saw broken ribs guy again.

    • @LaurenT3G
      @LaurenT3G Před rokem +7

      @Kavetion All you ever say in the comments is "I'm better than Markiplier". You ain't slick, dude.

    • @Sheelovequann
      @Sheelovequann Před rokem

      @@LaurenT3G Bro u know who else who makes videos that are also entertaining ? Mine just like markiplier hundred percent u will die of laughter bro

  • @spiderdude2099
    @spiderdude2099 Před rokem +7863

    This explains a lot about what kind of formative events led to Mark’s……completely nonexistent masochism….

    • @oPo7126
      @oPo7126 Před rokem +11

      @Kavetion K

    • @kalysian
      @kalysian Před rokem

      Nono he just knows his ass can take it.

    • @affanfaizi786
      @affanfaizi786 Před rokem +19

      @MilesDaBurg brooooo this same kavetion guy come to penguinz0 channel and writes this same thing they he's better than penguinz0 in his comment section

    • @necroyawn
      @necroyawn Před rokem +19

      But he did find out that day how much his body can take

    • @microwavebrain1035
      @microwavebrain1035 Před rokem

      @Kavetion bet

  • @leoa7927
    @leoa7927 Před rokem +3022

    Fun(?) fact: Later in the podcast episode, Mark mentions that this may have legitimately led to back problems throughout his life

    • @broblerone413
      @broblerone413 Před rokem +246

      yeah it almost certainly did, i injured myself in a similar way just falling from a chair, and it led to back problems, so an injury as serious as the one he got would definitely give him at least some back problems

    • @caramelgirl6962
      @caramelgirl6962 Před rokem +89

      Fact: don't jump if your friends do

    • @masterreaper115
      @masterreaper115 Před 11 měsíci +39

      @@caramelgirl6962 or if you do, roll forward

    • @briciolaa
      @briciolaa Před 10 měsíci +30

      @@masterreaper115 and then it only fucks up your shoulder!

    • @NukelearFallout
      @NukelearFallout Před 10 měsíci +5

      @@briciolaa He didn't ROLL! Did you even listen?

  • @LoafyNeverClear
    @LoafyNeverClear Před rokem +1625

    I like how mark just casually says "Clearly, his ribs are broken."

  • @lounielouna7556
    @lounielouna7556 Před rokem +3660

    Parents: "If your friend jumped off a building would you?"
    Mark: You don't want me to answer that.

    • @Fr0gg37
      @Fr0gg37 Před rokem +8

      LOL

    • @antoniotethys69
      @antoniotethys69 Před rokem +3

      The funny part is that he probably wasn't even friend with them

    • @littilwood
      @littilwood Před rokem +2

      Twice, at least. And those weren't even his friends. XD

  • @napalaprentice
    @napalaprentice Před rokem +12646

    Markiplier: "Im not a masochist!"
    Also Markiplier: *jumps off a building*

  • @MADLabs
    @MADLabs Před rokem +803

    So, I went to a parkour gym once and my experience was somewhat similar to Mark's. Well, without the cops bit. This was an actual gym with padded floors and proper climbing equipment to practice on safely. Not the sink-or-swim approach of falling off the side of a parking garage.
    It was front flip day. The set up was a 15-ish foot stretch of mats, then a short barrier (probably 1.5 - 2 feet tall) and then a set mats behind it to land on. Similar to Mark, I'd also made a... calculated error. I'd never done a proper front flip before; Only ever into a swimming pool. Otherwise, I had no parkour experience, whatsoever. I'd seen people do flips, watched some videos on how to do flips, and understood the basics of how to do a flip successfully. So I'd thought.
    And so, we were all lined up taking turns flipping over this obstacle. Everyone's doing fine. Perfect front flip after perfect front flip. Then, it was my turn to go. I take a second to kind of figure out my approach. Figure out what foot I'm going to start on, how I'm going to launch into this thing, and then I just go for it. As I'm running up to the barricade, all I'm thinking is, "Okay, I just need to get my ass over my head. Once I'm there, reflexes will take over."
    I cleared the barrier, ass over head, exactly as planned. I started bringing the feet around, so far so good. Then, I landed FLAT on my ass. To my surprise, it didn't hurt quite like a bitch. It hurt like 5 bitches. It felt like I'd been fist-fucked by Edward Scissorhands. It felt like I was now 3 inches shorter than before I made questionable life choices.
    A couple onlookers heard my "OW, FUCK!" distress call and promptly dragged my assless remains back to the starting area. I didn't break anything, thankfully. It only hurt for a few days, and I was fine. However, I realized right then and there that maybe parkour is not my thing. I like being able to walk comfortably and unassisted. I haven't been back since, nor have I attempted any parkour-related stunts since then. And I have no intention to.

    • @wayward_gamer2342
      @wayward_gamer2342 Před rokem +82

      I feel bad for you but YOUR DESCRIPTION WAS HILARIOUS THANK YOU FOR SHARING

    • @sadrabbit53
      @sadrabbit53 Před rokem +69

      Your "assless remains" 😂😂😭

    • @5Mayday5
      @5Mayday5 Před rokem +35

      This was written so well- I'm shocked

    • @ComfyChaos
      @ComfyChaos Před rokem +36

      I’m so glad you weren’t seriously hurt! Also, your entire description was insanely HILARIOUS! I almost choked at “fist-fucked by Edward Scissorhands” 😂😂😂 Thank you for a well needed laugh today. You write so well and I hope you continue to do so because you’ve got talent! Thanks again ☺️

    • @wolfyboy
      @wolfyboy Před rokem +5

      What did you land on tha was that hard? Wasn't everything padded?

  • @sophiejleigh
    @sophiejleigh Před rokem +229

    1:13 bob’s “oh god” holds years of life experience with mark

  • @madisonaustin9394
    @madisonaustin9394 Před rokem +28467

    "If all your friends jumped off a building, would you?"
    Markiplier: yes, twice.

    • @DefiantPunk0810
      @DefiantPunk0810 Před rokem +706

      Even worse, he barely knew those guys

    • @Lia_3078
      @Lia_3078 Před rokem +449

      Not even his friends, they were strangers.

    • @pbjsandwich1970
      @pbjsandwich1970 Před rokem +178

      Love how they weren’t even his friends they were complete strangers

    • @imadoinwat8994
      @imadoinwat8994 Před rokem +47

      They weren’t even his friends!

    • @marupruma1813
      @marupruma1813 Před rokem +38

      * is already jumping off *

  • @Joe_Mama.also_YTHandlessuckass

    Mark: I'm not a masochist
    Also Mark: **just throws himself off a two story ledge TWICE**

  • @ana7icia
    @ana7icia Před rokem +248

    it's crazy to me how enduring mark is 😭 he just cannot die. also love the ultra detailed frames lol

  • @lovely8524
    @lovely8524 Před rokem +215

    I am astonished that mark survived childhood

  • @daffodildewdrop
    @daffodildewdrop Před rokem +4354

    the animators did such a great job with this I literally could not stop laughing and now my stomach hurts 💀

    • @AlmondNutria
      @AlmondNutria Před rokem +5

      same lmao

    • @eyahestuya9130
      @eyahestuya9130 Před rokem +17

      Her name is Tooncee Go watch her videos their so funny and her art style is so impressive it keeps improving😊

    • @snickerswo1f519
      @snickerswo1f519 Před rokem +9

      @@eyahestuya9130 dont forget the background artist, Haricz!

    • @randomwolfygirl
      @randomwolfygirl Před rokem +2

      Your stomach hurts??I got hiccups!

    • @asmuth_1238
      @asmuth_1238 Před rokem +2

      @@eyahestuya9130 now I know why the art style seems familiar

  • @sumchipstarchy5469
    @sumchipstarchy5469 Před rokem +5995

    Omg the fact that Mark survived his childhood is crazy holy crap.

    • @terrelldurocher3330
      @terrelldurocher3330 Před rokem +71

      These instances are actually quite survivable.

    • @venkatkimidi2954
      @venkatkimidi2954 Před rokem +187

      I think its funnier cause I'm pretty sure this happened when he was in college.

    • @yeetmyselfoffacliff965
      @yeetmyselfoffacliff965 Před rokem +112

      @@venkatkimidi2954 yes, it did. This was when he really wanted to make friends in college. That’s why he went with it at all lol

    • @solus8685
      @solus8685 Před rokem +18

      Kids are almost indestructible

    • @friendcomputer2293
      @friendcomputer2293 Před rokem

      He was too poor too die.

  • @Z.O.M.G
    @Z.O.M.G Před rokem +139

    Tbh for someone who didn't know how to tuck and roll, but had to jump, he did the right thing. If he tried the tuck and roll he could have broken his back or skull

  • @Volker528
    @Volker528 Před rokem +261

    He’s a legend. Breaks his bones just to do cool stunts, actually a legend

  • @valmid5069
    @valmid5069 Před rokem +2376

    New things learned:
    1. Always bring a spare mattress if doing outdoor parkour
    2. Never freak out if you hear police sirens
    3. *Remember the time Mark broke his butt*

    • @awildhorrorartist
      @awildhorrorartist Před rokem +2

      @DONT READ PROFILE PIC hush.

    • @theresahonig1240
      @theresahonig1240 Před rokem

      @Kavetion wow

    • @bv657
      @bv657 Před rokem +2

      This comment has 999 likes and the comment right above it has 666 likes wow

    • @gothicfemboy428
      @gothicfemboy428 Před rokem

      I am a god over these mortals. Subscribe now!!!

    • @azurius4507
      @azurius4507 Před rokem

      @Kavetion can you jump from the second floor without landing on your ass?

  • @sandman94
    @sandman94 Před rokem +39258

    I'm convinced Mark just put all of his skillpoints into Endurance and nothing else.

    • @guardian08527
      @guardian08527 Před rokem +1647

      It would explain how he could put up with the madness of the FNAF games for hours on end each day. Mark just dumped all exp points into Endurance and he just strong armed the RNG of the FNAF games until he beat the 20 modes.

    • @bravonorthyt
      @bravonorthyt Před rokem +1716

      I don't know...his charisma is awfully high too.

    • @thaliacrafts407
      @thaliacrafts407 Před rokem +464

      Zero dex build

    • @jameswillis4413
      @jameswillis4413 Před rokem +499

      He has a good spread through all of his stats, he just has a shit ton of buffs to his endurance thought items and quests. Such as breaking his ass, shoving his hand into a bee bush, and playing on a thin frozen lake.

    • @crevorgodasdogas
      @crevorgodasdogas Před rokem +30

      @@bravonorthyt was just about to say

  • @bumbabees
    @bumbabees Před rokem +26

    as someone who was VERY careful and cautious as a child because of my overprotective mother, these stories astonish me. I was always too afraid to make stupid life-threatening decisions like this so most of my injuries come from being clumsy lmao.

    • @concept5631
      @concept5631 Před 7 měsíci +2

      Same, except without the overprotective bit.

  • @robjohnsonmusicandgaming
    @robjohnsonmusicandgaming Před rokem +27

    2:17 OMFG this animator is brilliant xD

  • @neonlights3739
    @neonlights3739 Před rokem +11246

    The fact that he not only fell, but did it because he 100% believed he was running from the cops is just the beautiful ribbon that ties this all together

  • @zephyr1249
    @zephyr1249 Před rokem +19452

    I would love to see an entire show animated in this style

    • @dontreadprofilephoto1728
      @dontreadprofilephoto1728 Před rokem +32

      Dont read my name......

    • @EEEEEEEE
      @EEEEEEEE Před rokem +23

      E‎

    • @CaLypSO4456
      @CaLypSO4456 Před rokem +28

      FR

    • @gomitasgominola
      @gomitasgominola Před rokem +15

      sameee

    • @orion-in4vv
      @orion-in4vv Před rokem +164

      yeah the only reason why I don't listen to distractable is bc I'm autistic and so I need to be looking at something and seeing something (preferably colorful, like an animation) in order to focus on it

  • @-Commit-arson-
    @-Commit-arson- Před rokem +77

    We need a count of how many Times Mark has been in the hospital because it is starting to become a problem if it isn’t already

  • @TheDragon0102
    @TheDragon0102 Před rokem +23

    2:00
    XD I wont lie, this gets me every time just hearing the inner Mark scream.

  • @Awesomemay
    @Awesomemay Před rokem +5661

    my jaw literally dropped when he said everyone was gone

    • @quandaredevil
      @quandaredevil Před rokem +58

      HOLD UP I immediately recognized your username from SKIT! way back in the day!! It's so good to see your content starting to thrive and seeing you verified and everything man 😭

    • @nope170
      @nope170 Před rokem +6

      Lul

    • @orangutan8125
      @orangutan8125 Před rokem +5

      YOU

    • @nope170
      @nope170 Před rokem +2

      @@orangutan8125 Nani!? Did I do?

    • @nope170
      @nope170 Před rokem +1

      Oh

  • @whowhatwhenwherewhy3226
    @whowhatwhenwherewhy3226 Před rokem +2885

    This reminds me of the time my friend somehow convinced me to try out parkour. He wanted me to jump over a wall for my first move, and after one demonstration I attempted it. He was hyping me up and telling me to walk further back. I was so pumped and broke into a sprint. I managed to somehow jump at the wrong time and slammed into the wall full force. He was silent, and I just stood in front of the wall internally screaming until he said we should go back inside.

    • @MissTwirlyBird
      @MissTwirlyBird Před rokem +67

      Idk how people don’t fucking scream from the top of their lungs at that point, cuz i would🤣

    • @happylittleloser
      @happylittleloser Před rokem +63

      @@MissTwirlyBird no air? I mean, once you've got stubbed-toe levels of pain, the sound you make is too high pitched for human ears

    • @satgurs
      @satgurs Před rokem +36

      @@MissTwirlyBird pretty sure that the shock is preventing you from feeling too much of the pain, therefore you don't scream

    • @joshua.h
      @joshua.h Před rokem +8

      Parkour!

    • @ilitsu..2397
      @ilitsu..2397 Před rokem +1

      ☝️☝️ Mark's new wife 😍😍😍

  • @thezekroman
    @thezekroman Před rokem +13

    "How much you wanna bet he lost his parkour coaching license?"
    "How much do you wanna bet he didn't have one to lose?"

  • @The_Stinky
    @The_Stinky Před rokem +44

    2:52 🤣🤣🤣

  • @boopinoop4545
    @boopinoop4545 Před rokem +6683

    When I first heard this story, i didn’t register that it was a parking garage so I wasn’t that scared hearing it originally, but seeing it animated really REALLY gets it through my skull the sheer stupidity of the whole arrangement and that mark is one lucky guy

    • @bensoncheung2801
      @bensoncheung2801 Před rokem +5

      420 👍

    • @BoltMoonSteven
      @BoltMoonSteven Před rokem +4

      What was the original episode called?

    • @GlitterPrince
      @GlitterPrince Před rokem +43

      @@BoltMoonSteven The episode is "Hold My Beer". It's linked in the description.

    • @YUKILOID39
      @YUKILOID39 Před rokem +10

      If being in that situation in the first place can even be CALLED luck, then most certainly it was lucky

    • @blackeyedincubus
      @blackeyedincubus Před 3 měsíci

      Actually the floor kisser was the lucky guy... 😅

  • @juliangates6990
    @juliangates6990 Před rokem +12446

    As an actual parkour coach, this pains me, a real coach would never put his students in danger like that

    • @scoundral2995
      @scoundral2995 Před rokem +1328

      How much do you wanna bet that the guy who was running the thing was just a student with some decent knowledge of how to do parkour?

    • @Kath2378
      @Kath2378 Před rokem +814

      @@scoundral2995 I wanna bet everything, he clearly didn't know how to teach beginners and was really irresponsible not caring for Mark and the other guy who injured himself at all

    • @scoundral2995
      @scoundral2995 Před rokem +401

      @@Kath2378 Basically thought that if they see him do it, they’ll instantly know what to do. Which is pretty stupid assuming this is a real story.

    • @TheAssassin2299
      @TheAssassin2299 Před rokem +46

      *Cobra Kai'd*

    • @JoeJW89
      @JoeJW89 Před rokem +261

      Nothing quite says "beginner course" like a 2nd story parking garage, right?

  • @genxoxo2263
    @genxoxo2263 Před rokem +40

    I was only two seconds in and i was already in tears. This was the best 5mins and 9secs of my life. I haven’t had a good laugh like that in so long. Thanks Mark. What a Great story.

    • @hallowchromee8977
      @hallowchromee8977 Před rokem

      my man started crying when mark said “so its freshmen yeah”💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

  • @jumbojimbo41801
    @jumbojimbo41801 Před rokem +19

    Mark, I love you man, but I don’t think anyone will ever be as good at destroying your body as you are. It’s honestly a real talent.

  • @miguelmenegola6942
    @miguelmenegola6942 Před rokem +3940

    I've done parkour for a while and hearing this makes me both laugh my ass off and really mad at the same time . I really hope that dude who was supposed to "coach" you got hit by karma as hard as you hit your butt because THAT'S NOT how you introduce a newbie or an amateur at this discipline.

    • @DavidFletcher08
      @DavidFletcher08 Před rokem +232

      ESPECIALLY the fact it was all concrete.. I cringed hearing that after the "beginner" geez

    • @salemcrow5078
      @salemcrow5078 Před rokem +27

      @@Narble_is_unavailable Is this not basic knowledge every child is equipped with? Smh /s

    • @michaelbecket4901
      @michaelbecket4901 Před rokem +43

      *BREAKING NEWS PRO PARKOURER BREAKS HIS ASS AFTER ABANDONING A HEAVILY INJURED STUDENT*

    • @JoeJW89
      @JoeJW89 Před rokem +27

      You might say he didn't half-ass the first landing. He went full ass...

    • @rebeccacummings6697
      @rebeccacummings6697 Před rokem +8

      He probably WAS a newbie himself. And why does everyone talk about this karma? Do people actually believe in luck and karma and all that? It's brought up often.

  • @rowanmorris2526
    @rowanmorris2526 Před rokem +5009

    As a purely accident-prone child who PERPETUALLY had a broken ass, busted knees, and scraped elbows...this story was made for me. This was perfect.

  • @blue8913
    @blue8913 Před rokem +27

    I haven't laughed myself to literal tears in a long time, but man the delivery of this i god damned sobbed laughing. The build up, the delivery, the sheer dumb ass decisions made in the hubris of youth, oh my god. Oh man.

  • @rei-8888
    @rei-8888 Před 8 měsíci +1

    Mark:Tells the story
    Tooncee:Animates
    Haricz:Background editor

  • @mikeroconsole
    @mikeroconsole Před rokem +2764

    Mark: People might mistake me for some sort of a masochist
    Also Mark: I jumped from two buildings two stories up on the same day and broke my ass and dislocated my shoulder

    • @ownedbypandas8142
      @ownedbypandas8142 Před rokem +63

      Also mark: Chica smash
      Also mark: owns body pillow of big vampire lady
      Also mark: proceeds to beat head with Amazon self defence product
      Also mark: I can take a trolley

    • @AngelicZelda444
      @AngelicZelda444 Před rokem

      @@ownedbypandas8142 Lol how is this man not dead?! 😭😂

    • @mikeroconsole
      @mikeroconsole Před rokem +23

      @@ownedbypandas8142 Also Mark: whips himself in the arm with Amazon self defense product

    • @Skijaramaz
      @Skijaramaz Před rokem +22

      @@mikeroconsole Also Mark: Goes for runs in the middle of the night in the darkest part of town with headphones in his ears playing zombie noises because it makes it more 'interesting.'

    • @mikeroconsole
      @mikeroconsole Před rokem +20

      @@Skijaramaz Also Mark: eats sour candy until his tongue bleeds while also shocking himself for the sake of views

  • @alduniaphoenix6464
    @alduniaphoenix6464 Před rokem +5661

    God you HAVE to listen to the WHOLE story on the distractible podcast man, there's So MANY gems clipped from this story. You totally cut out the part where Mark was COSPLAYING as a Parkour enthusiast, like ran out and bought the whole outfit just to show up for his first time. Also, the story that comes right after in this episode is so good.

    • @burgerman3634
      @burgerman3634 Před rokem +21

      Which episode is this?

    • @Pp-ez7yi
      @Pp-ez7yi Před rokem +49

      @@burgerman3634 I think it’s dumb things they have done in their teenage years? Or hold my beer.

    • @demonslayer5122
      @demonslayer5122 Před rokem +59

      @@Pp-ez7yi It's hold my beer

    • @charapresscott7750
      @charapresscott7750 Před rokem +17

      It's also the same episode as the bed lofting story.

    • @josselyndeleon1812
      @josselyndeleon1812 Před rokem +1

      this episode was literally amazing 😂

  • @Mickeii617
    @Mickeii617 Před rokem +22

    I'm really stuck at the fact that this video didn't stop @3:15 yeah basically saw someone almost killed themselves and went right back

  • @einatpeled-katz4800
    @einatpeled-katz4800 Před rokem +4

    4:18
    MY BABY BLUE AAAA

  • @crowparent6481
    @crowparent6481 Před rokem +2559

    As someone who's actually broken my tailbone TWICE, the no pain at first Mark described is accurate. The pain doesn't come until the next day and it's a horrible feeling to wake up to

    • @monkeetoe1657
      @monkeetoe1657 Před rokem +28

      I hope to never experience that

    • @crowparent6481
      @crowparent6481 Před rokem +71

      @@monkeetoe1657 The horrible thing is, it's really easy to break your tailbone. And it's hurts like hell to sit down-

    • @sillyWilliam24
      @sillyWilliam24 Před rokem +51

      He talks about it in the podcast. He was in excruciating pain the next day. He was luckily he didn’t end up disable from that stunt.

    • @scoundral2995
      @scoundral2995 Před rokem +3

      @@crowparent6481 From a scale from one to twenty how would you rate it?

    • @crowparent6481
      @crowparent6481 Před rokem +14

      @@scoundral2995 Painwise? Standing up, about a mid way 10, sitting down, it changes but it rates from a 14 to a 18 for me.

  • @AnAvidAtheist
    @AnAvidAtheist Před rokem +9181

    Ah yes, the fractured-ass maneuver. Only the most intrepid of adventurers are capable of such a sophisticated feat. Clearly, mark performed this task flawlessly and should be appraised as such.

  • @Bionic_B
    @Bionic_B Před rokem +19

    Mark has too many stories where somebody get hurt then just walks away to some unknown location never to be seen again.
    There’s this, and the two stories with Mark and his brother the vine thorn pit, and the ice skating

  • @ericlewis415
    @ericlewis415 Před rokem +6

    Did Mark ever think the siren was for the broken ribbed dude. Dang... the guy must have been in the hospital for months...
    Also, what if the final guy also got injured as the last person, and the parkour instructor decided to quit his job! XD

  • @real-dv6tz
    @real-dv6tz Před rokem +890

    Calling this “beginners” parkour is like calling a pro athlete “average.”

  • @Chirpysemperboy
    @Chirpysemperboy Před rokem +1993

    "I got this." - Markiplier, said about something he most assuredly does not have.
    Followed by the sequel: "I know what I did wrong last time." - Markiplier, clearly not learning his lesson

    • @G0LDN5
      @G0LDN5 Před rokem +10

      I don't think he ever learns lessons, he just remembers them. And then once he does something wrong he remembers that he did it wrong before. Like playing rage games, for example.

    • @ericwilson-musicandcovers8576
      @ericwilson-musicandcovers8576 Před rokem +5

      I feel like Mark still does this. I don't have any concrete examples but I feel like he still does it

  • @KamekFox
    @KamekFox Před 11 měsíci +5

    I love how this seems like a cycle. Every time, someone ends up leaving the group after breaking something jumping off a second story. I really want to know if it repeated for a third or fourth time.

  • @michaellynes3540
    @michaellynes3540 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Wade: I hope they lost their parkour teachings license after this.
    Me: I don’t think they had one to begin with, Wade.

  • @Jiareirda
    @Jiareirda Před rokem +1991

    I’m surprised by the lack of people commenting on how the police that were “after” them were probably the ambulance and first responders taking the first guy to the hospital.

  • @asleepyb0i400
    @asleepyb0i400 Před rokem +10861

    It astonishes me how Mark lived to adulthood, and keeps on living. This man must have just put every skill point into his endurance stat, as well as a couple extra lives on the side.

    • @themanbehindtheslaughter8064
      @themanbehindtheslaughter8064 Před rokem +111

      he always comes back

    • @user-eb6mn3dw1v
      @user-eb6mn3dw1v Před rokem +11

      copycat

    • @asleepyb0i400
      @asleepyb0i400 Před rokem +24

      @Мартин Темелакиев
      I got news for you, Buddy. Completely original comments and thoughts don’t exist. We don’t all think differently 👍

    • @iron_Will
      @iron_Will Před rokem +52

      Mark's pump stats: Strength, Constitution, Charisma
      Mark's dump stats: Dexterity, Intelligence, Wisdom

    • @MemezuiiSangkanskje
      @MemezuiiSangkanskje Před rokem +9

      he farmed for totems of undying

  • @wolfyboy
    @wolfyboy Před rokem +4

    Mark almost crying: "They fuckin' destroyed my body, then bailed!" XD

  • @michaellynes3540
    @michaellynes3540 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Wade: This just goes to show you guys, you do dumb shit, you get friends for life.
    Bob: Play dumb games, get dumb prizes.

  • @sadaharu3170
    @sadaharu3170 Před rokem +2574

    I love waking up to Mark explaining how he broke his ass
    Edit: To those wonderin I did wake up late and a few minutes before the video posted. My sleep schedule is messed up so I wake up later

  • @bigpapa2540
    @bigpapa2540 Před rokem +2091

    Jumping off a parking garage yelling “PARKOUR” while evading police is something only Mark would do.

  • @nessa-marks
    @nessa-marks Před rokem +4

    he sure does say “like” a lot.

  • @PhoenixPrime
    @PhoenixPrime Před rokem +15

    This story and animation gave me a MUCH needed laugh after these last couple of weeks. Thanks, Mark!!!!

  • @R0ZUE
    @R0ZUE Před rokem +3870

    You were lucky you didn't get paralyzed holy shit, cause I've seen people get paralyzed just from falling off their chair that's when you know you are the main character so lucky

    • @maldbartin7263
      @maldbartin7263 Před rokem +69

      It’s when they lane on their spine tho innit

    • @ashleytrout7452
      @ashleytrout7452 Před rokem +17

      That’s called story shield

    • @TheMoonlight1711
      @TheMoonlight1711 Před rokem +76

      @@ashleytrout7452 you mean plot armor?

    • @ashleytrout7452
      @ashleytrout7452 Před rokem +11

      @@TheMoonlight1711 yeah

    • @leoa7927
      @leoa7927 Před rokem +102

      Fun(?) fact: Later in the podcast episode, Mark mentions that this may have legitimately led to back problems throughout his life

  • @luckyinky7849
    @luckyinky7849 Před rokem +2474

    The descriptions by Mark and the animation managed to hurt me physically, I had a huge pain sensation on the bottom of my back when he landed on the ground.

    • @SamuelBlack84
      @SamuelBlack84 Před rokem +15

      I already have an injured back which doesn't help

    • @mr_vicepresident
      @mr_vicepresident Před rokem +13

      @@SamuelBlack84 yeah me too lol.
      My back is actually injured by that vertebrae that was shown in the animation lol

    • @DeathOfAMartyr3
      @DeathOfAMartyr3 Před rokem +2

      He almost definitely broke his back, it's almost exactly how my dad described breaking his.

    • @jjcrossingd9565
      @jjcrossingd9565 Před rokem +7

      When he hit the ground I ACTUALLY felt that. It hurts like HELL. NO JOKE

    • @midnightthoughts8519
      @midnightthoughts8519 Před rokem +2

      I bruised my tailbone attempting something like this and I felt that pain slightly return when that scene played lmao

  • @araara5725
    @araara5725 Před rokem +7

    Mark is my definition of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

  • @CyberCyns
    @CyberCyns Před 9 měsíci +2

    Markiplier: Stats
    Strength: 50
    Speed: 35
    Durability: 100
    Endurance: 100
    Skill: -2

  • @Spamkromite
    @Spamkromite Před rokem +1391

    When I heard this back in then I was like speechless. The first rule of parkour is not starting to jump everywhere reining your balance, is to know HOW TO FALL and how to use your feet and legs for maximum dampening of all the force your weight swings with. Damn, even in karate and in a circus, all acrobatics are learnt first knowing how to fall, roll, stuff to avoid falling flat on vital organs and joints. Mark lives in a lawless zone or he didn't care because he likes to feel pain on the run.
    Fun animation though.

    • @M_Alexander
      @M_Alexander Před rokem +38

      Heck when I got talked into trying roller derby and had to learn how to skate, one of the first things they taught was how to fall

    • @charlesgeorge151
      @charlesgeorge151 Před rokem +3

      hey i'm sure you don't mean to harm anyone but maybe credit The Winterer for your pfp in the description? it's always good to credit the artist

    • @marick4201
      @marick4201 Před rokem +1

      This is a story that happened when Mark and Bob were in college.

    • @labrat5457
      @labrat5457 Před rokem +5

      @the real princess daddy someones lonely without friends

    • @gothicfemboy428
      @gothicfemboy428 Před rokem

      I am a god over these mortals. Subscribe now!!!

  • @rcinpact4480
    @rcinpact4480 Před rokem +2606

    Shoulder roll is meant to slow the momentum when dropping so you don’t..we’ll you know.. have the sudden stop of the ground break your legs. The point of rolling isn’t style point, it’s so you can safely reach the ground. The faster you roll the less inpact your feet will have. But this doesn’t mean you should jump off the Empire State Building and expect the same treatment. As a graduated parkour student at HUB I can definitely say that rolling off that height will save you but will still hurt a bit. so there’s no cheating gravity, lol.

    • @thaliacrafts407
      @thaliacrafts407 Před rokem +159

      Well, technically he did slow his momentum. Very, very abruptly.

    • @krel7160
      @krel7160 Před rokem +110

      I've never parkoured before but I accidentally did a perfect roll once. I was heading down the backyard of my family's ranch if you can call it that, running a bit faster than I probably should've been because I was being impatient and just had to check on something. Well, I'm running and I end up tripping on something, probably a vine on the ground - might've been a snake or a twig, you know how it be on them southern ranches - and so I'm falling and every nerve in my brain just said "This is ridiculous. I just want to check what's got the dog riled up. I'm falling? No. I'm not falling. I'm gonna keep going."
      And so I fell and just THREW my weight into my shoulder and rolled so passive aggressively that the momentum carried me back onto my feet.. and I just kept going. More annoyed at the inconvenience of tripping than I was of falling. And I don't think I could replicate it if I tried..

    • @decrien
      @decrien Před rokem +11

      holy shit, im a current hub student! its crazy to see another one out in the wild.

    • @SyM-Prisoner627
      @SyM-Prisoner627 Před rokem +36

      @@krel7160 Adrenaline is a hell of a drug

    • @brainnotdetectedhurdedur
      @brainnotdetectedhurdedur Před rokem +1

      @@decrien what is HUB?

  • @TaraPlayz
    @TaraPlayz Před rokem +11

    Nothing like a funny and entertaining video made by Mark, oh the memories, this is what the king of fnaf is capable of, being this funny, props to the animators and mark for this quality piece of entertainment

  • @M.T.F_Omega_1
    @M.T.F_Omega_1 Před 11 měsíci +17

    2:33 bro thinks he is Walter white

  • @1tankdestroyer778
    @1tankdestroyer778 Před rokem +1023

    Mark “I’m not a masochist”
    Also Mark: so I broke my butt… so I went up anther building and jumped off that one too

    • @stitchlover4381
      @stitchlover4381 Před rokem +11

      This time broke his shoulder. Probably 🤔

    • @1tankdestroyer778
      @1tankdestroyer778 Před rokem +8

      @@stitchlover4381 he just wanted to see if his shoulder could take it

    • @stitchlover4381
      @stitchlover4381 Před rokem +4

      @@1tankdestroyer778 I mean I'm surprised his ass did. Tho I watched that episode of distractible I don't know if he said happened to that kid that broke his ribs.

  • @PassTheMarmalade1957
    @PassTheMarmalade1957 Před rokem +1329

    The only thing missing from this animation is where Bob comes back to their dorm and finds Mark lying on his bunk with a destroyed shoulder, fully decked out in Mirror's Edge parkour gear.

    • @monicar4721
      @monicar4721 Před rokem +54

      YES I WISH THIS ANIMATION HAD INCORPORATED HIS PARKOUR GEAR

    • @abimonkeyy8348
      @abimonkeyy8348 Před rokem +4

      Mirrors edge is awesome

    • @matthewtalbot6505
      @matthewtalbot6505 Před rokem +14

      Mark and bob were literally roommates their freshman year at college in Cincinnati.

    • @person5949
      @person5949 Před rokem +22

      @@HiddenRealm In the full distractible episode they mention that Mark and Bob were roommates at the time.

    • @master0fh0rr0r
      @master0fh0rr0r Před rokem +13

      Also the part where they ask if he ever saw that other guy again, and he goes “oh my god… no.”

  • @stephanginther9051
    @stephanginther9051 Před rokem +4

    When my uncle was a teenager he could do front flips with a running start. My dad and them knew a guy who could do *standing* front and back flips, apparently his leg muscles were _massive._ Anyway my dad is a martial artist, training since he was very young and my uncles flips were getting a bit stiffer over time. My dad tried to get his little brother to start stretching but was ignored. One day my uncle missed and landed firmly on his tailbone. The shock knocked him unconscious and he cracked the bone. He never did another flip for fear of another butt bone injury.

  • @meracodalis4173
    @meracodalis4173 Před rokem +1

    2:02 with Mark's internal scream rendition is beautiful!

  • @hahan2052
    @hahan2052 Před rokem +1998

    I feel SO BAD for laughing at the guy who landed on his face, I hope he's fine

    • @yates3815
      @yates3815 Před rokem +215

      I'm sure the "police sirens" were from an ambulance coming to pick him up.

    • @NuggDavis
      @NuggDavis Před rokem +5

      He ded

    • @elpistachio
      @elpistachio Před rokem +40

      Mark said he never saw him again.

    • @sirfrog3579
      @sirfrog3579 Před rokem +25

      @@elpistachio can confirm sinti watched the full thing, also it's kinda sad tbh

    • @bradyblue5269
      @bradyblue5269 Před rokem +1

      He died

  • @sean..L
    @sean..L Před rokem +1234

    Having the breath knocked out of you is one of the most terrifying feelings there is. First there is the shock and panic of having just fallen and then you are trying to gasp for air but your body won't let you breathe at all, truly awful.

    • @nxellee
      @nxellee Před rokem +35

      Yep. rugby player here. terrifying when someone lays you out and then you cannot breathe after.

    • @minionleadergru
      @minionleadergru Před rokem +15

      yes tht happened to me during a basketball game i thought i was gonna die 😭

    • @doot_the_root
      @doot_the_root Před rokem +19

      I fall out of trees. A lot. They say you can get used to the feeling but trust me, you cant

    • @fatherwardsleftshoe
      @fatherwardsleftshoe Před rokem +5

      Happened to me when I was playing soccer, got hit in the stomach with the ball and couldn't breathe

    • @partyisanidiot9941
      @partyisanidiot9941 Před rokem +11

      bro I fell trying to wash a golf cart and got the wind knocked out of me, I legit only made it worse because I was laughing so hard it sounded like "HA_HAHAGYSHG--HAHAHkl;hjlkj;flasd."

  • @bobbyrose3888
    @bobbyrose3888 Před rokem +4

    These animated videos make the story so much better

  • @sophia.z
    @sophia.z Před rokem +8

    Such a funny (and painful) (and dangerous) story! The animation really ties it all together

  • @boomerhunter5705
    @boomerhunter5705 Před rokem +2613

    I have a feeling that Markiplier is telling us a story about the day he broke his ass.

  • @the_crystalg7111
    @the_crystalg7111 Před rokem +1957

    so, I've done tumbling in Martial Arts, which is tucking and rolling, and him talking about landing on his shoulder reminded me of when I was doing it for a demonstration practice, with all of my classmates around me, and i go and land on my shoulder heard one singular pop, then ringing, then got up went back in line to go again and the ringing stopped. All of the sudden, i felt nothing but pain in my shoulder, and turns out i had broken my Clavicle (collarbone) and i will say that it SUCKS, you are not allowed to move your arm AT ALL.

  • @woof-.
    @woof-. Před rokem +6

    I can imagine the sheer horror and confusion of the parents of the dude that went after Mark when he starts explaining why he urgently needs to go to the hospital 💀

  • @nativelife27
    @nativelife27 Před rokem +4

    Listening to Markimoo laughing and telling a story is the best thing ever!!

  • @Evan.Singharaj
    @Evan.Singharaj Před rokem +4934

    I haven’t heard many stories of people trying parkour for the first time and getting injured, so hearing this and seeing it animated is a masterpiece
    Edit: I got like 2 notifications for someone liking my comment lmao. Glad all of you feel the same

  • @frank-nx6vj
    @frank-nx6vj Před rokem +1381

    The "Broke my ass" trilogy will be completed once Jack uploads one in the future

    • @eva1585
      @eva1585 Před rokem +8

      excuse me "trilogy?"

    • @Muip
      @Muip Před rokem +52

      ​@@eva1585​i think pewds had a story ages ago about him breaking his own ass

    • @eva1585
      @eva1585 Před rokem +15

      @@Muip Oh i see lol thanks. My first thought was that it's happened 3 times to Mark with this being the third one.

    • @TheWwjd95
      @TheWwjd95 Před 9 měsíci +2

      Share playlist??

  • @minneeagle
    @minneeagle Před rokem +5

    Legend has it, the police are still searching for Mark for going into the forbidden zone.

  • @DeltaSilver88
    @DeltaSilver88 Před 7 měsíci +1

    My mom dislocated a vertebrae in her lower back in a similar manner, only she didn't jump. She tripped on the staircase of her apartment building and fell down the steps on her back. The result was a full-back bruise that lasted for weeks and a vertebrae that healed funny (it moved up along her back and stayed in its new position; there's now a barely visible dent in her back where it used to be).

  • @jordanhuemoeller8945
    @jordanhuemoeller8945 Před rokem +428

    My favorite part of this episode is when Bob asks Mark if they ever saw the other dude (dude that landed on his face) again, and Mark took a second, and said "No...". Then all three of them assumed that he was completely and totally dead.

    • @verdantmistral442
      @verdantmistral442 Před rokem +42

      Or that the sirens they heard might have been an ambulance.

  • @HalfBreadChaos
    @HalfBreadChaos Před rokem +1549

    The goal of the roll is to disperse as much of the impact across your body as possible, so it's not all concentrated in one spot and busting bones.
    If you find yourself in this situation (2nd story, 0 rolling capacity) then the 2nd most useful thing would be a break-fall. But let's say you've never done that either and need the babiest easiest thing possible that *might* still leave you with some bones.
    Okay here's the plan: Land on your feet and lean forward, but keep yours knees nice and loose, your goal is to immediately let your legs collapse so you can fall forward.
    You know the gesture you make when you want to pretend to be cat? (hand by your head, palm facing out, so you can go "meow meow!") That's right, we're gonna make like a cat (who always lands on his feet) and nyan-nyan as we fall. (Keep your palms flat though or you may break a knuckle). Fall forward, and let your nyan-arms help cushion the impact so you don't bust a rib.
    Finally most important: Turn your head to your side before it impacts the ground or you WILL bust a nose. So make like a Jesus-cat and turn the other cheek.
    TLDR! Be the nyan-cat: land *lightly* on your feet, surrender the knees, nyan with your arms, fall forward, face cheek to ground.

    • @silvertheorist
      @silvertheorist Před rokem +190

      Can't decide if this is more cursed or more informative

    • @iclynnx
      @iclynnx Před rokem +45

      Thanks for the information, sir / ma'am 👌 Might use that if I regret j- never mind not gonna make that joke 😅

    • @MissOnana
      @MissOnana Před rokem +84

      Thank you so much for not only explaining a good way to approach this with minimal training, but also explaining it in a way that is UNDERSTANDABLE. Am I gonna try this now, armed with info? Absolutely not. But am I glad I know just in case? Hell yeah!

    • @shadowraven137
      @shadowraven137 Před rokem +49

      only problem i can see is people "nyan'ing" as they fall. otherwise great info.

    • @queenizunia3145
      @queenizunia3145 Před rokem +61

      Informative and gave me the phrases "Jesus-Cat" and "Nyan-arms", what more could i ask for

  • @meganfair9891
    @meganfair9891 Před 8 měsíci +1

    Mark put every single point into constitution

  • @RHBR01
    @RHBR01 Před rokem

    Absolutely stunning animation. Kudos to the animator(s).

  • @matthewherndon6488
    @matthewherndon6488 Před rokem +521

    Bob's laugh at 4:33 gives me life

  • @user-jm8is1ii5p
    @user-jm8is1ii5p Před rokem +602

    This would make a good Netflix show. A bunch of stories narrated by Mark.

    • @textme7770
      @textme7770 Před rokem

      CONGRATS 🎉🎉 YOU HAVE BEEN PICKED AMONGST MY WINNER'S DM THE NUMBER ABOVE ⬆️⬆️ ⬆️🥉🥉🎁 💯🎁🎁 🥳🥳

    • @nightmarewolf7632
      @nightmarewolf7632 Před rokem +5

      yes

    • @Cloudycolette
      @Cloudycolette Před rokem +4

      Yes

    • @WorldWalker128
      @WorldWalker128 Před rokem +5

      certainly better than most of the garbage they have these days.

  • @gwenissooooocool
    @gwenissooooocool Před rokem +1

    Love this animation so much lol, I wish he'd do more of this

  • @Wingdacat
    @Wingdacat Před 26 dny

    this never fails to make me laugh. Every time i have to pause the video and get all the giggles out of me before i keep going.

  • @CleoPhoenixRT
    @CleoPhoenixRT Před rokem +904

    I want to hear more of Bob and Mark's college stories. That episode was golden.

    • @CleoPhoenixRT
      @CleoPhoenixRT Před rokem +1

      @🌹•Y0ūr_.Em0_Ånīme_Wåīfú• 🌹 Yeah those bots are annoying.

    • @luisn642
      @luisn642 Před rokem +1

      Which episode, I haven’t been catching up with them

    • @CleoPhoenixRT
      @CleoPhoenixRT Před rokem +1

      @@luisn642 this was from "Hold My Beer"

  • @Peshy_
    @Peshy_ Před rokem +350

    This was my favourite story in the entire series so far, and somehow this animation has made it even funnier, now I wish the entire “Hold My Beer” episode was animated like this because that has so many funny stories.

    • @sheepslug
      @sheepslug Před rokem +7

      It's one of my favorite episode of the podcast, and I wish it got more appreciation!

  • @guilhermeteodosio40
    @guilhermeteodosio40 Před rokem +1

    Mom: "did you plan your trip?"
    Me: "of course I did"
    My plan: 3:52

  • @danielcollins4791
    @danielcollins4791 Před rokem +2

    I would totally have done something like this if the opportunity presented itself in college. Thank you Mark for being the guinea pig and letting me know you'll break that bum! The Office inspired my sister to try parkour as well. But, we jut yell parkour as we hopped a curb or something of our level lol :D

  • @Imnotsmg4bob
    @Imnotsmg4bob Před rokem +554

    Mark: **explains how he broke his trunk and scapula**
    Me, holding onto my ass and shoulder for dear life: *I won't let them take you.*

  • @GippyHappy
    @GippyHappy Před rokem +198

    The chunky kid that also never did Parkour before was in his own show watching the other guys fail while he was miraculously triumphant. He really feels like a main character.

    • @white52
      @white52 Před rokem +1

      OMG TOTHEARK MARBLE HORNETS COMMENTOR GUY HIII

    • @bluelfsuma
      @bluelfsuma Před rokem +8

      He's the main character of the anime. Mark is the main character of the sitcom.

    • @GippyHappy
      @GippyHappy Před rokem

      @@white52 lol is that my official title

  • @5Mayday5
    @5Mayday5 Před rokem +1

    In all of Distractible this is one of my favourite stories of all time and I keep going back to it

  • @alysonneharris2445
    @alysonneharris2445 Před 8 měsíci

    As an EMT, you got very lucky, my friend. I pray that luck carries over for the rest of a hopefully very long life.