Some People Lash Out. Others Shut Down. Which Are You?
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- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
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When we talk about trauma symptoms, we talk a lot about strong feelings, acting out and emotional dysregulation. But there’s this other side of how trauma wounds and CPTSD can control your behavior, and it’s through *self-suppression*. In this video I teach the signs that your trauma is driving to suppress yourself. You may be surprised how much it applies to you!
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@@trustinsynchronicity No worries, plenty of people who are glad to be here. Hopefully you'll find a different channel where you feel good and can post things that are thoughtful and helpful.
@@trustinsynchronicitylol and your point is?
i tidied up my car a little while this video played. gathered the empty bottles, swiped the ashes.
This reads almost like a poem 😌❤️
I used to shut down but now more likely to lash out! I’m so incredibly sick of toxic people & my tolerance is zero!
same here. i switched polarities.
i was a shut down like age 9-22 but 22 onward to 29 I’m this….sometimes monster because i didn’t get heard those years, so i feel like _must_ be heard now.
its kinda twisted :/
Very accurate. I stayed small when it comes to work. I never pursued a career. I do isolate but with animals I do not feel lonely. Sending love and hugs to all. ❤
Thank you. Take care.❤
❤
I do both, but mostly shutdown and withdrawal.
I used to lash out, regularly. But that was many years ago. Then I became completely and utterly burned out. I live alone. Work. No friends. Very few hobbies. No social life, and certainly no romance. I just exist and survive. Definitely guilty about what I eat. Definitely live in a cluttered home. I hardly ever exercise. Car is pretty messy.But my personal hygiene is good. I pay bills on time. I'm a good mother, grandmother, pet parent. I just feel numb. Bored. Totally unstimulated. I barely recognize myself from the "fun", creative person I once was. Im 58 and never thought my life would look this way. Im sad for everyone else living this way...but its good to at least know I'm not alone.
Hang in there! You can still heal and we're glad you are here.
Nika@TeamFairy
Give yourself a break. Try going to a busy place with people and just people-watch. Don't zone out, watch and focus on one thing or person at a time. It's an easy way to get out of your head for a break. Do something once a week that will get you outside of your head.
I wanted to replace the light in my dinning room and fix a ceiling fan. After saving money (and strategizing a schedule with an electrician...because just a call out can be pricy) I bought a light that I liked and set up time for installation. I felt a bit guilty as if I was being greedy or selfish wanting a different light. When the electrician arrived he informed me that the old light actually NEEDED to be replaced as it was not grounded properly and couldn't be fixed. The ceiling fan was an easy fix and in the end I saved myself A LOT of negativity by making a discerned choice. It was also a big confidence booster.
Yesssss I bet it looks so good, too! Now you have a room with lighting you like which is so important
I shut down. It is so automatic that sometimes I don't notice it because it feels so normal. When something is that routine it can be difficult to detect. Now I can see how damaging and hurtful some relationships and jobs have been. Now I am trying to set clearer boundaries. What is worth my time? Nothing can improve until I answer that question. Life has forced me to stop recently. It feels like a curse, but it is actually a blessing. It is impossible not to "play small" when one is numb. Like the arm that "comes to life" after having fallen asleep in an awkward position, getting your feelings back is not comfortable, but no good choices can be made without access to those feelings. The Daily Practice makes space for those feelings to arise. Not always enjoyable, but totally necessary.🤔
Wow I love that analogy. That is really good. Waking up and finding my arm feels dead and swollen scares me so bad. For me emotions are an ever present overwhelm I'm trying hard to ignore and intellectual bypass. So they don't feel dead I guess, just always behind the closet door or under the bed like a scary monster. Or everywhere like clutter and you just learn to navigate the room. And tune it out.
One of the successful moments is when my girlfriend complimented my improved behavior, from 2 years ago.
She said shes really proud of me because she sees I'm doing the work to make positive changes.
Love makes people do, what seems impossible.
I'm putting positive changes into my life.
It feels so impowering, and you're right Anna "shifting Gears".
That's what I'm still working on and I'm 59 years old.
Better late than never..
Thank-you again Anna.
I’m so glad I found your channel cannot afford therapy right now
We're so glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
This is better than therapy for me!
It was so strange, because my family owned multiple fully paid for apartment buildings. They had millions of dollars in savings, yet we went without proper clothing, no dental or medical care, amd i did not find out until i was 15 that people ate or went to the bathroom daily. I was at a store one time when I was 15, and I saw a girl buying socks, and saying how nice it was to have new socks. That was the first time I had ever heard of that being a possibility, because I had never had socks. 😮😢😮 we had too much money for me to quality for free school lunch, nor was I ever given money for lunch. I was seen by teachers and kids as the really poor inadequate kid. We didn't e en have a functional stove in our house. ( thats my boohoo for the day)... solutions: I try to eat farm fresh produce. I frequently buy new socks when my old ones wear out. I try to be kind to myself and focus on artistic and outdoor interests. I am learning so much about wild crafting medicinal herbs and skin care. Still working on the dental solutions. ❤
Man that is absolutely cruel I hope everything is good for you and you have a better life now I've just been reading down the comments and found yours and it is really unfair I hope the best for you, take care
@@alsbigsmoke tysm. It is getting better. I don't see my family anymore
@1HorseOpenSlay Glad you're doing better you'll always have times when you are wanting your family but it seems like they were treating you really badly and just getting away from it can relieve the problems you were having but I'm glad you're doing better now and I hope you'll be okay, take care
Very interesting
I understand this kind of life. Are you Asian? lol my parents are kind of the same. They were very cheap when it comes to their kids so I always feel I’m not worth spending on. I live in a household where money is #1. And there is absolutely no love.
I had a friend who was poor back in the day, but her parents would always strive to give her what she wants. I truly believe that is why she is so much more confident and loving than I will ever be.
I’m the shutdown, withdrawal, isolate, leave me alone type. It has taken for long for me to do all these though because I will keep trying to fix the relationship until I’m done.
🎉I'm an introvert, and an only child. Sometimes I do better by myself. My comfort zone.
It is hard to not be pessimistic when you deal with so many of the bad ones daily. It's draining especially with complete strangers. Many nowadays like to assume negatively about people they don't know. It's stigma. AKA Good vibes only or no drama/BS.
Shut down, up to the point that I can’t even digest food 🙏🏼🌺 Not just avoidance or self-repression (in some ways not all), also nervous system shut down causing all kinds of symptoms. 🙏🏼🌺
Same, when im happy im a bit chubby. When im not i hardly eat. Or sleep. Or speak. I'd rather be alone and eat good food
Hang in there!
Nika@TeamFairy
I dont talk, I shut down
The cynicism you mentioned only arrived after decades of continued failure. You read that right decades. Cynicism only arrived about the time when I started collecting social security checks and I realized that life was getting closer to the end than the beginning and if I hadn't figured out how to make the change yet it wasn't looking good.
Oddly, I think self-suppression enabled me to deal with Quarantine more successfully than some. It was a creative & productive time for me. But, I know I need to change bec it’s not healthy.
Romantic suppression is a big thing. My past limerence episodes have left me with the notion that if I told someone I liked them, they'd want nothing to do with me and would avoid me at all costs, not to mention treat me like shit. This was confirmed once again with my latest episode, where, after telling a college classmate that I liked him, he not only told me he had a girlfriend, but he also began stonewalling me, and has been doing so for the past 16 years.
One reason it's been so long is because he wouldn't tell me anything, because he wouldn't let me know exactly what he thought of me so that I could "fix" it. It confuses me because all my LOs before him would let me know exactly how they felt ("you're fat," "you're ugly," "you're crazy," etc.), but he didn't say any of that, and I'm used to knowing how little someone likes me. I feel like, if he had just let me know how undesirable I was, if he had just been meaner, it would have been easier to move on.
Virtual hugs, babe 💟
I feel like one of my ways of self suppression is not allowing myself to cry. Not allowing myself to feel sad, angry, nervous, or any of those emotions, and expecting myself to be happy every single day of my life. Because, now that I’m out of my abusive environment, I now live with my mom. He truly loves me for who I am. She excepts me, despite me being completely blind and autistic. She loves me, even though I’m completely blind and autistic. Same with my husband, who is also completely blind and autistic. He loves me for who I am. I don’t really lash out at others as much as I lash in at myself. Masking. That’s the correct term for myself suppression. Masking, and limiting myself from showing emotion that’s related to dysregulation. And trying to subtract crying from myself.
I shut down pretty hard. My father would always lash out at his own family, so my goal in life has always been to be the exact opposite of him.
There is always something you say which is helpful. Thank you.❤
I'm so glad the video was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy
Oh wow! I lash out when i panic over something i can’t figure out… but it’s after a period of withdrawal and holding back… then a surge of emotions, resentment come out like a storm especially over email or text messages !! Because i wouldn’t do it in front of the person as i am not confrontational !! Its a weird thing
You’re not alone
While my go to is freeze, and I'm often stuck in an anabolic phase, Ive learned that vitamin and nutritional deficiency will keep one in an anabolic phase, the phase when you sleep. And the awake phase, the catabolic phase, requires nutrition to break down and burn. One reason for staying in a shut down tired all the time anabolic phase is nutritional deficiency.
My gallbladder has stones which says I don't have enough bile and proper stomach acid, so I'm not getting enough nutrients from that issue alone. Taking out the gallbladder doesn't fix that.
I find quality supplements and foods that help my stomach acid really help.
Then dealing with the emotional wall of awful. The practice helps with that.
Goal setting sometimes helps but I recently heard someone say that we can get limerant with our goals, and that sounded true to me.
Ive spent my life trying to get out of shut down in some form or another. It's like I wanna be in it, and not at the same time.
Lash out, guilt, suppress with alcohol 😕
A lot of this is us punishing ourselves and using shame as a motivator, and of course that isn't working. We sabotage ourselves in the shame to ultimately shame ourselves more. It's serving "something." That "something" is serving likely an icky "something"but we have to be honest with ourselves even if it's hard to look at. We can't get better in it until we're honest with ourselves about some of those toxic pieces it's serving. Look at it objectively and allow yourself to do better after understanding what it ACTUALLY looks like
Shut down.
I’m learning some things though. When I would shut down or refuse to connect with people, it was because I felt threatened. So I spent this summer creating a safe loving space for my inner child. It was not easy, my body was moving involuntary and it was kinda scaring me, and I had dark vivid intrusive thoughts. Mind you, this was whenever I would play affirmations for my self concept. So I believe my inner child was confused and threatened. I kept soothing her over and over, and I let her get it all out. Over the last two days I found myself setting boundaries with my mother who is showcasing covert narcissist tendencies (that im finally discovering and accepting). I also talked to a guy I had much limerance for and I finally got the hurtful truth after directly asking him if he wanted a relationship with me. And I went no contact. And as I am dating, I am connecting more with them instead of just shooting them with questions out of fear. I wake up with my room not perfect, but everything in my room has a home now! I am so shocked but grateful seeing the progress. I still have a long way to go but im going to continue keeping my inner child safe and loved, and that way I can connect more fully and consciously with others. ❤
Lash out…. Then shutdown guilt
That's me too.
relationship? What are those? I'm 46, I've never even been asked out on a date. I'm sorry CCF, some of us genuinely just aren't worthy of love, not even from our parents. And some of us learned that lesson when we were three years old and interfered with by a relative and Dad remains oblivious to this day but mummy narcissist showed us by not doing anything, not getting us any help, not going the police - not defending or sticking up for that three year old, so that three year old learns very young how very much she doesn't matter. And the Universe has only sought to reinforce that lesson time and time again in the last 43 years. Some of us just aren't worth fixing, CCF. Some of us were always broken, so broken even our own mothers didn't care enough to stand up for us when we needed it the most. I just need to learn to finally accept this truth and accept that my only purpose in life is to feel pain. And I don't understand why I can't. I just want to know why? Can you help me answer that, please, CCF? Why can't I learn to accept the truth and just get over myself?
This one really hit home. Thank You.
Oh I shut down.
I get angry and lash out but people usually pooh-pooh me into silence, or they gaslight me into shutting up or they tell me that I'm making them feel bad.
I don't know how to express my boundaries or anger or whatever I'm feeling because I'm too scared of being dismissed or criticized or anything.
We absolutely understand. Daily Practice (a free course) can be a good first step. If you want to go deeper, Anna has a whole course on Healing Childhood PTSD.
Free Daily Practice: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Healing CPTSD course: bit.ly/CCF_HCPTSD
Nika@TeamFairy
Thank you this is very informative. Im a cluttered person. Im really trying to improve , sometimes im so tired. But i try to do one thing a day. ❤
Glad you are here. Good luck!
Nika@TeamFairy
It's really good to see that a few people like yourself are getting educated and finally 'getting' it. It's progress over time. Sitting here listening to you with my wife (God bless her) and we're both getting a chuckle out of how much you know me yet we've never met. Thank You beyond words...❤
Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
You are telling the story of my life right now, I am only at 14:44 minutes.
100% yes! I’m waiting to hear my name. LOL.
Wow I was amazed by how many of these I have. I don’t think I’ve always had them, I think as I’ve gotten older and developed into adulthood and maybe motherhood it’s gotten worse.
This whole video explained me so well.. every point had described me and I had no idea I was acting on trauma.
I want to be happy for people but I get this really uncomfortable trigger that does not allow me to share their joy. So I avoid talking to them so I don’t be mean or negative. I really need help on that matter.
My anthem as a teen was Simon and Garfunkle's I am a Rock. I find myself singing it to comfort myself whenever I feel triggered.
Thank you so much for your CZcams channel, you’ve touched on a lot of deep rooted issues I’ve been dealing with for a long time and provide amazing suggestions on how to deal and heal from these things … thank you ❤️
I'm so glad the channel has been helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
It's scary how many of these points I identify with. I had a troubled upbringing. From being bullied to a home that often didn't feel safe. But, CPTSD just sounds like way too big of a label. I don't know, I can think back to the bullying and some things my dad did and I don't really feel anything. I don't believe I got abandoned, at least not in a literal sense. So why am I so extremely, phobicly scared of rejection? It feels impossible for me to find love because even though I want it, I just always find excuses for not approaching or even meeting women with the biggest one being ''they will reject me anyways so what is the point in trying''. I recently did end up asking a girl out and they said yes and we went on 3 dates. I loved it but I was also just a nervous wreck for most of it, especially physical touch felt really bad at the start. I kinda grew into it but she put a stop to the dating unfortunately.
Thank you for this!!! My whole family has had childhood trauma. This video may really help my young adult kids where my words fall short. Thank you for this ministry! Bless you!
Shut down…utterly.
I do both however I would rather just be alone so that I don’t lash out. Of course lashing out is a normal reaction, I would prefer to be by myself. That’s doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be around other people, I’m monitoring my triggers.
Ope. Welp... I've done many, and i mean many of these things. And the self neglect is real over here.
Honestly, isolating had never been my thing in adulthood, but then my SO unintentionally (he's been *really* stressed) triggerred the old defense mechanisms. Since then... Wow. I don't know how it happened, it all took place so quick©️ But I just can't feel safe around him. We have been trying to work on it, both of us. It 's not been successful so far. I am shy around him, I want to be invisible, I want to vanish into thin air - basically all the things I felt when I grew up have returned. I am a shadow of my former self.
Our relationships made me blossom; it was a bliss.
It is so sad that I just can't feel that connection, safety and trust now. I hope so much that I can overcome it.
He is not ready to put much work in all this, to be honest; but then again, he doesn't know what to do. I am literally avoiding him, which doesn't make things any better. I became mostly silent around him. I don't share as much with him as I used to.
I've tried to explain, why I am suddenly locked inside my invisible cocoon, and I've explained why his words have been so painful. However, he is just such a person that he avoids any work if he can. And, since he cannot understand my struggles, I have no idea what will come out of it.
You know, you need both sides to be invested in the marriage for it to work. It seems like I am invested a bit more.
I could have never imagined that I'd ever contemplate a thought of a temporary separation... but here I am, doing just that. His inattention is slowly destroying my remaining self-esteem. I am trying and trying, but it's like I am floating in the air ever since that quarrel.
He hasn't actually do anything terrible. I think I was just a bit too vulnerable then - I was under much pressure from the family and from work, I've been chronically depressed for a few years... For the first time during our 15-year relationship, he shouted at me over something really minor - I was driving and I gave a way for another car, which in my SO's opinion I shouldn't have done. I started to cry, out of sheer surprise and hurt over his reaction.
Of course, I asked him about it afterwards. Guess what? He said that he had been resentful for a while, and he actually let the resentment grow to the point of explosion.
So, almost a year had passed after that quarrel, after which we agreed not to bottle up our feelings but to tell to each other downright if something's wrong.
One day his aunt, who is a mother of five adults with cars, asked my husband for a drive - it was a weekend, he was tired, and I suggested she takes a taxi which I was ready to pay for with pleasure. And... he exploded. He told me to go to h*ll, to never talk about his family like that, to keep my opinions to myself... and he dropped the D-bomb.
Then he apologized and said he never meant it.
But then some time passed, and he did it again, he talked about it again.
At that point, I was on edge. I begged him to stop. He seemed so confused himself.
We've agreed to never use the D-word in our fights, unless we really mean it. However, to my surprise, *I* am the one thinking about it now.
I am pushing people away because I am depressed, I am officially diagnosed - and I push away my husband. He seems to be tired of it. For sure, depressed as I am, I conclude that he'd be better off without me - and his words about divorce and separation seem to corroborate it.
I took off my wedding ring.
I am isolating heavily, and I have no idea where it all goes.
Now *he* seems to be the one wanting my attention and affection, but I just cannot provide it. He is a stranger at this point.
I had been craving his attention for years, and now, when he wants it himself - I am imprisoned in my bulletproof glass cage.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Hang in there!
Nika@TeamFairy
You have a way with words! I’m over here wondering when the book is coming out. It could be called “the D word”
My husband does both at different times.
I’ve already listened to a couple of you today, so I’m just flitting by to say; sometimes I’d freeze, sometimes I ‘d explode! Once I stood on a chair, looked him straight in the eye, and told him,” You know I never lie. If you ever hit me again, I will call the police!”
Both. With husband and kids lash out… with every other person on earth isolation and silence and more people pleasing
i don't lash out nor shut down. I GET DESPERATE AND NEEDY FOR LOVE. And i cling. AAAaaaack !
Bullseye 🎯 Anna
You described Robert Rowan
I've turned out to be my mother criticized all my life and her negativity
I must have absorbed?
My girlfriend said to me.
I stayed stuck and it became normal.
I got ABUSED BY. MY MOM
AND furthermore, I'd be bullied every day going to school.
If I didn't get beat up in the morning to school, I'd get beat up after school.
And I finally figured out why I felt the inadequate....
Thanks to you Anna.
I'm Emotionally Dysregulated..
More importantly, Ive finally found LOVE.
And I m aspiring to change 50 + years of behaviour.
Thank you Anna, for helping so many people improve their lives.
Actually,
I wanna say THANK YOU!:😊 TO THE SUPER WOMEN DOING WONDERFUL DEEDS TO HELP OTHERS IN THE WORLD 🌎.
THANK-YOU TO ANNA RUNKLE AND WHITNEY WEBB (Investigative reporter)👏 Bravo...
I’m hard to fit. I don’t feel guilty about food..😊
I lash out. Usually once I have reached a breaking point.. As now I know I didn t take care of myself enough, had perfectionist ideas of being accepted etc. Worked like a bat out of hell sometimes. Proud of myself I always did the 110% at work etc and everyone knew it.. What Sandy didn't know.. Was how many don't care.
You are calling me out on everything!
This is a wonderful video. Really helps me. I found it particularly interesting that sometimes people with CPTSD make things others say, about ourselves, because even though we are trying to listen with empathy, we don't know how to do it better, because we were not listened to with empathy during our formative years. I know there are tons of advice out there about improving communication skills, but I'm particularly interested if there is any advice to help people with this particular struggle, because I have this.
Thanks for your support.
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Why is it when ppl see the trash in my car it's "He has CPTSD" and never "wow he doesn't litter" 😂
Ultimately we need to be less reactive in shame and understand our shame while being humbly comfortable in it, without judging ourselves. Looking at ourselves with great ease and great love in our hearts, and compassionately GROW FORWARD
Rev. Rae Ann Neal
Here We Grow Acquire For Higher LLC
Intentional Healing Guidance and Coaching Services.
Clutter is a big dysregulator. I have been a clutter person most of my life, having to fill up any empty space with something. Yeah and the clothes. I definitely did that with the clothes, but not anymore.
Hahaha yep... the underwear.
And Ive been single for 12 years 😄😅
I almost shut the door on my neighbour cos I was so used to it lol
I lash out then shut down for days, weeks, even months/years. Within the more extended shutdowns more lashing out will occur followed by a deeper shutdown.
Good times. 👍🙄😵💫
We understand as few others can. You're in the right place :) -Calista@TeamFairy
This video helped me so much.
Edit: re-reading this I realize how much cognitive dissonance I have about my current job lol
Also the people who use their distain for capitalism as a way to disenfranchise themselves are using that distain incorrectly. Ask for your raise. Know your worth. Companies don’t usually value loyalty from my experience. You know what will get me a raise if my job won’t give me one? Learning new skills and finding someone else who will pay me more. The more people who do that the more the market will be encouraged to change to entice people to want to stay by paying better wages and treating their workers better. I’m all for that personally. I think my issues with leaving my current job comes from codependency, because my client needs me (I’m a caregiver). Part of the way big companies try to get you to stay is by keeping themselves purposely understaffed so you can’t leave because “they need you”. Don’t listen to them. Don’t listen to that voice in your head. The more people who get that the more we will be free of workplace abuse and wage theft. Allow a company to fail or close due to nobody being there to work. If they mistreat people that’s what they deserve.
Anyway I’ll get off my soap box, so to speak. Great video! Thanks so much for the food for thought!
I'm also a caregiver and suffer from guilt and codependence.
Most times, I lash out. It was worse when I was younger though. If I don’t, I felt as if I wanted to explode. There’s a time and place for everything. I think that it’s very necessary to lash out sometimes but gaining self control is very important.
Both, its always both. Rage and then shutdown. Sometimes rage, then crying, then shutdown.
You are not alone.
Nika@TeamFairy
In my experience with AA in the beginning was a good support system for me. I was born into a toxic, toxic family. Of course they didn't think much of me getting sober, I'll pick up again and be back in the gutter again in no time, maybe with a little nudge from toxic family and friends. People who I grew up with and close where I was groomed abuse was the norm. Well I stuck with the program but suddenly realized people were filling the rooms with toxicity exploiting the support and helpfulness and I believe acting as flying monkeys attacking me........I left!
Yup
That's exactly what I'm like.
You're in the right place! -Calista@TeamFairy
Also the neighbour thing is so hilarious because of how relatable it is. I have brand new neighbours and my social anxiety won't allow me to introduce myself. I know their schedules and try to do my yardwork when they are at work. It's crazy because they look like they could be nice people. I'm not afraid of them wanting to talk because I'd love that but am afraid of them judging me or thinking I'm weird. which I am 🤭
Awesome Vid!!! 💝💝💝🌸🌸🌸💯💯🤗🤗🙌🌟🕊🏩
I used to lash out, and now I am just so dead inside I rarely react to anything... just silent and stuck in my head often.
You are not alone. Glad you are here.
Nika@TeamFairy
I feel like you wrote this about me. Also procrastination.. I've been engaged for over 3 years and any time I imagine the wedding I feel anxiety so avoid thinking about it as the thought of planning and working with family stresses me out. I feel we will eventually just go to the courthouse to get it over with but I think that there might be a small part of me that will regret not allowing myself something special like this even once.
My trauma was from a teen thief Nancy in debeque colorado, and the cops did nothing. I trust no 1. And she is still out stealing from others. How does someone feel safe when a teen ur nice to can steal all ur sentimental valuables and no 1 cares?
I have many of these. I’ve often wondered how are you supposed to leave your problems behind and enjoy life. How do you explain to new people why you are where you are or you can’t have a relationship?
The world is unfair. That is the hardest truth I have ever known since I came into being here. It's not an excuse.
first (thank you for all your help)
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Another valueable conversation
Depends on who or what triggers me
Shoot. I have these issues and didn't know why. I just have a new car now so that part is good. Trying to keep it that way but falling behind. So any advice on how to stop the self sabotaging??!!? 😢
Daily Practice (a free course) can be a good first step. If you want to go deeper, Anna has a whole course on Healing Childhood PTSD.
Free Daily Practice: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Healing CPTSD course: bit.ly/CCF_HCPTSD
Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you
I though the same in not always depression is self-suppression ❤❤✨
I want to change and help my Mom ❤❤✨
I do both!
Thanks for this post 💕
Serrated knige is a pretty metal way to put that.👍
Lash out. Then shut down. It's s pattern.
This is a word that I needed...
Thank you
Yes to most 🙈
You're in the right place :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Happy is a cruel word
If this actually doesn’t stop then idk what’s going to happen. I’ve been watching you don’t know if it’s brainwashing me or I’m dumb
Oh boy… 😅
OMG - I feel like you know me and see me 🙄😬
You are in the right place :)
Nika@TeamFairy
I'm both.... but mo lashy.
Glad you are here.
Nika@TeamFairy
Both hehe 😭 depends on the situation
Shut down
Hello there, Anna! I hope you can see this.. how do I send you a letter of my own?
Thank you for your question. You can write an "Ask the Fairy" letter from here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters
Nika@TeamFairy
I’m so scared 😢😢😢
Hang in there!
Nika@TeamFairy
But if that You can afford ,a six pack of cheap soda You cut be thankfull ,telliinh from experience,i'm waiting on Social security and i can't Even get a soda without calcule the cost,and i'm one example.hope You get what's i'm saying!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉😅😊
Um... she list stuff til #9, then veered off course and never finished the list. Oh well...
Me to a tee 😢
I hear you. I’m glad you’re here! -Frida@TeamFairy
💚
I don’t want to ruin my relationship but right now I’m shut down because I miss my mom
That guy with the rolodex sounds like a communal narcissist.
I lash out! And then I isolate as well, sometimes for months, and not one of my neighbors who supposedly cares about me ever knocks on my door to see if I'm okay unless they want to borrow money which I don't have any! I have sold everything I own because I have lupus and I lost medical I have a recliner left my bed and whatever clothes! And I'm angry and I'm hurt and so I stay up for two or three nights in a row either crying or screaming and there's nobody here to hear it and even if there was nobody would care! And you say this community helps each other, nobody here has ever reached out to me except for one person and they said a few kind words, I'm sorry I feel so bad for you? But there's really no support system and that's what I need and I've been searching for it for 8 years and it's just not there! So can these videos actually be more damaging than helpful?? Because when I used to watch them I would just leave and unsubscribe. But I've allowed myself to watch them and try to feel emotions but I'm feeling so much it's overwhelming and I feel like I just want to die! That's how I feel I don't want to just exist I want to live and if I can't live then I want to die! I've always had a ferd or feathered companion! I'm certified in animal behavior, and when I was younger that was the only thing I found solace and was having a pet or a companion. I don't have one now I'm totally alone and my heart is breaking and I don't want to be here anymore, and the people that do have pets and could reach out to me and help me because I was very involved in the bird community here for a long time. They don't give a shit now That's just how it is! I don't think people understand after everything I've been through and then taking care of my mom when she was passing away, and then all her promises to make sure I would be taken care of when she was gone never came through just like anything never came through during my entire life, I am done I am so done and I really don't want to be here anymore! And I can't get emotion into a little text on CZcams! But my life is falling apart and I need help and nobody gives a damn
Hello, Anna! Love, love, love your content 😍😍I have been working on my c-ptsd as well for under a year now, and it's still new to me, even though "I know" myself for over 35 years. Your content it's so enlightening. Thank you so much for your work, it has helped me a lot! ❤🩹
I also tried to check out your website and maybe see if you have other resources/events as well, and it cannot be accessed from my country (Romania). Not sure if this is intentional, just wanted to mention it. I'd really like to see attend other types of events held by you, too. Thank you again! 🙏
Sorry about that.. our course platform blocks Romania and a couple other countries (because of hacking). Please contact my team at hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com and they can send you some resources by e-mail.
Stranger danger
Kevin isn't the guy .