Michigan Dems Vote “Uncommitted” | Biden Talks Ceasefire Over Ice Cream | GOP Targets Birth Control
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- čas přidán 26. 02. 2024
- President Biden’s awkward ice cream moment came one day before some Democrats in Michigan used their primary votes to protest his support of Israel’s actions in Gaza, while Republicans are pushing state-by-state birth control bans and blocked a bill that would have protected access to contraception nationwide.
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015. - Zábava
Put a baby in a freezer and it'll harm them. Put an embryo in a freezer and it'll keep them alive. That's why an embryo isn't a baby! How is this so hard to understand?
🤣🤣 good point. Yeah according to them silk is a dress and scrambled eggs are chicken 🥴
Because they are idiots who want to control women.
They need to go back to school.
HOW did you KNOW that freezers harm babies?
@elvenkind6072 The same way I know I shouldn't shoot people in the face and expect them to live?
trump isn't arguing he's innocent, he's arguing he has the right to be a criminal....
THIS.
There we go! Absolutely! Just like the documents case. Biden cooperated with investigators to look through everything for documents in his house and he didn’t argue about it. Trump? He gets super pissed if investigators start snooping around his house. He shouldn’t need to be if he’s got nothing to hide. 😏
More like he is innocent because what he did was not a crime. Like buying slaves was legal for George Washington.
💯💯💯💯💯 But Biden is old ammiright?? 🙄🙄
🎯
If birth control gets banned Viagra should be banned as well.
Yes
“March comes in like a lion and goes out like a bankrupt sexual predator.” Classic.
If Trump shouldn't have to pay his fines because he's too rich, then I shouldn't have to pay my debt because I'm too poor.
I'm afraid you misunderstood percieved neo-feudalism, sir. Those being too poor are to cover the price of the fine of those who are too rich.
@@mortisCZ Neo-feudalism is an excellent phrase. Milord.
😂😂😂🤣 Good point!
@@mortisCZoof not wrong 😔
Sounds legit.
I'd rather have a President with 81 years behind him, than 91 felonies in front of him.
Perfect. BIDEN 2024.
Alright sir, take my like.
YOU HAVE BERNIE, DAMN IT!!!
Youre leaving out that the 81 year old is helping facilitate a genocide, you still happily wanna vote for him?
Say that again for the folks in the cheap seats...better yet put that $hit on a t-shirt!
"One man, two daughters and one pillar of salt that likes to watch". I'm dead 😇
Yeah, when right-wing Christians talk about "one man and one woman" in the Bible, you can tell they've never read the thing, huh?
Biblically accurate sex be like^
My wife and I went through 3 I.V.F.'s. Only 1 worked.
Freezer storage fees started at $400 and went up each year. Not many couples can afford that....every...year.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for democracy... and ice cream...
I love that saying
Eating some right now
@@Shasha-yg1mmEating some democracy? That sounds tricky
@@jembozaba4864 Don't be a loon. I'm eating ice cream and screaming for democracy!
@@Shasha-yg1mm Fair enough.
I couldn’t have gotten through the last five years in this insane world without Stephen. Thank you for bringing light and laughter into the world .
I agree. It feels good to de-scramble the brain a bit with how he comments on things.
patient, please stop calling our mental institution "insane world", your roommates are complaining!
I know my depression kicks my rear when he and Seth have weeks off.
Biden bashing is not funny.
It should be plainly obvious by now that "Under Oath" means absolutely nothing to these people.
Like Biden
This is exactly why bibles should be thrown out of the these swearing in and this prayer breakfast and Chaplin foolishness is just free food and for show because at the most 75% of these people think and act like they're God already and hardly do anything good, so what's the point?
@@beverlyrhame3692 The only document a federal government elected official should swear anything by, is the constitution. Not a fictitious book about a sky man.
@@sigma6840 🤣🤣🤣🤣💥obviously they are very much aware of this fact, that’s why they only use religion as a face card to fool the multitude that they believe in a god.
Also the reason why they use it to control people and take their heart money, and all their earthly possessions.
I believe, historically speaking, "Too Guilty to send to Jail" was also known as "Immediate Execution."
WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN
Does this also mean that having a period as a woman will be a criminal act?. Crazy people everywhere!!
Well so far it has to be a fertilized egg, i.e. embryo. But a spontaneous abortion, i.e. a miscarriage might be illegal and we have already seen this in court. Next step would be a period or an ejaculation. Cue Monty Python Every sperm is Sacred!
This is what happens when medically ignorant politicians try to practice medicine without a license 🤦
Um, should I be worried if politicians enact a law requiring fertile people to attend "appointments"?
SHHHHH.....................!!!! Don't give the GOPQ any moronic ideas. Oh...... who am I kidding, I'm sure one of them is already writing a bill for that.
They're trying old tricks from the bible
I love how Stephen always hands off his invisible props 🤣
Jon Babtiste had introduced sound-effecting those pantomimes. And Louis Cato and his band have eventually caught onto this and do now, too.
@@tobiasmeinecke6144 As far as I can tell, Cato's band (the drummer specifically) don't really do those well-timed sound effects. And Stephen is no longer expecting them I guess
Lot and his daughter's (RIP Salty Wife) joke was chef's kiss...10/10 Monologue!
I laughed so hard at WARM-dren. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I always thought that the GOP should be wanting birth control to be easily available. The best way to reduce abortions would be to reduce the need for them. Less accidental/unwanted pregnancies mean less abortions..
No they want unwanted children to be born by poor and overworked parents who can't afford to educate these children properly so they'll have cheap labor and uninformed voters for life
They only want birth control if it can be in the form of a chastity belt foisted on every girl child the moment she hits puberty. The keys for these chastity belts would be held by the man of the house, or for those households without a man as the head of the family, it would be the duly appointed key holder (a man, to be sure and a Republican) in their local government area.
Yeah, but they're not interested in having fewer abortions. They're interested in _controlling women._ Specifically, they think that children should be the punishment women face for having sex.
But then they would lose control over women...
That makes too much sense, how on earth would they then be able to CONTROL WOMEN if they give them choices about their own bodies and family planning? 😂
Ice Cream Ceasefire sounds like a band name!
Yes😂
Keep on KEEPING ON!! LUV YOU STEPHEN COLBERT 🎉💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Yes to cease- fire!
Incoming Meyers vs Colbert conspiracies 😂😂
Ice cream can solve problems people! Let's all have some ice cream! Love America. Let's all pray for Missouri please! I'm in Kansas and we are so worried about Missouri.
Praying is the whole problem, isn't it? We need a whole lot less praying and a whole lot more _thinking!_
*With* ice cream, of course. Everything goes better with ice cream. :)
Bad taste. Meanwhile as he pigs out on Ice cream, Palestinian babies and children are STARVING in Gaza. Wake up. Poor optics.
Maybe he can air drop ice cream to the dying children in Gaza?
Ceasefire or not voting. I refuse to vote for the lesser of two evils. I won't vote for evil.
Great show as always Stephen please keep up the great work!!
VOTE BLUE 2024!!!! 💙💙💙💙
I hope people choose wisely between the red 🇺🇸 vote and the blue 🇺🇳 vote.
What ever happened to the separation of Church and State? The judge in the IVF case sited the Bible to base his ruling on.😢
The german christian nazis of germany ruined it, when US conservatives sided with germany; allowed these fake free market nat'c christians to take hold of the USA.
OMG 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣 one laugh after another. THANK YOU, I needed that 💕
Too rich for bond???? That makes no sense. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It makes sense to his brainwashed seals, a.k.a. sycophantic supporters.
He was at an ice cream shop when they asked him about it, it’s not like he was at a press conference
People are criticising Biden for talking about genocide while eating an ice-cream. But what exactly was he supposed to do when he was asked the question? Throw the ice-cream at the journalist? Try to shotgun the freaking thing in a single bite? He did the best he could in an impossible situation which just about sums up his presidency.
This may seem random but have you ever listened to the podcast my brother my brother and me? they once answered a.... similar? question. someone asked what they should have done with their ice cream when they got into a minor fender bender right after buying an ice cream cone from a drive thru and had to get out to exchange insurance details with the other person lol
clarification: I believe they decided that "act like the ice cream was the driver so you won't get in trouble and your insurance premium doesn't go up" was the right course of action in the asker's situation
"Actions" isn't the same thing as "genocide". One has posable deniability, the other is literally happening to Palestinian children. Stay classy Americans. 🇮🇪❤️🇵🇸
"Your honor, I shouldn't be judged because I'm too guilty." 🤣
GOP obsession with personal reproduction issues is crazy! Vote blue everywhere to get them out of bedrooms and doctors' offices!
The news never gets any better. I feel like we're living in the Twilight Zone for sure. I'm desperate for the word Trump to be so far in the past, nobody even remembers him or his crazy little family. Help us Lord , help us. 😮😢
To all the uncommitted out there, an uncommitted or a no vote for Joe Biden is a vote for trump. Think about that and what will happen to Gaza if trump is reelected!
I saw that BIDEN interview last night it was an ANNIVERSARY episode. Biden was AWESOME!!
It was a great episode overall with Amy and Biden!
Stephen’s silent Johnny Carson tribute around 4:05 - priceless.
Love it! Sometimes he does Carson’s golf swing.
Colbert isn’t worthy to carry Carson’s jockstrap
@@afridgetoofar1818why are you here if you don’t like Colbert?
@@JeffCharleson hate watching
I LOVE that he said it into his ice cream!!! We should all allow such simple pleasures to be part of our daily lives. The world might be better for it.
What an absolute non-sensical comment!
I so agree... not strange to respond to a question wherever you happen to be!
Joe Biden doesn't care one bit about Palestinians. I have been completely disappointed at how callous he is. For those of us who are waiting for him to say something meaningful about the loss of innocent lives, seeing him holding his ice cream and talking so casually is quite jarring.
I envy the rest of you who see nothing wrong with the leader of the most powerful country who sends arms to all kinds of allies not batting an eye at the massacre that is happening.
The optics look really bad. Plus now we know he LIED because of Michigan. Wake up.
You mean like the children in Gaza?
“Uncommitted vote”… Well, that just sounds like not voting with extra steps.
3:54 "March comes in like a lion, and goes out like a bankrupt sexual predator."
Thought Stephen was calling that dude a "cheese bro" and then saw his name in print and I was like "dang that's rough" lmfao
I’d change my name if I were him!
Vote for president Joe Biden, he is fantastic. 💙
Great show again.
I often look to comedy and comedians for an honest take of the news. Thanks guys keep at it.
the conduct WAS uniquely egregious. when did any other president defame a woman he attacked?
My weeks are so much better with Stevens monologue
The amount of absolute insane legislation being passed in the US around reproductive right (or just in general) is mind-blowing. How can a western country go before the dogs like this!?? I am shocked. In Europe
Which European country allows an abortion in the 30th week of pregnancy? New Jersey lets you. Although it’s not legal to kill it, outside the womb so they do it before usually by piercing the brain stem with a scalpel. Where is that done in Europe?
@@toadsauce8091the amount of misinformation in your comment is wild
Vote one way or another. Quit playing games. Democracy is on the line
What do you mean?
Voting uncommitted is valid and reasonable
🐑🐑🐑
Make America Grammatically Correct Again
President Bid, a true humanitarian - didn't duck the question, had a good answer.
We should hope a ceasefire is near.
Being complicit in a genocide is humanitarian? Is this Orwell 1984?
He's so rich, that today, his lawyers admitted he can't afford to pay the bond. Mmhmm.
If they are children can they be tax dependents?????
That Lot's wife joke was so deep LOL!
"...is this still Paramount?" 😂
I *like* a president who’s fond of ice cream!
I don’t like Criminals, so no one should be confused…
So if a female child is born with all her eggs from birth and at some point she is murdered, can the murderer be charge with multiple counts of murder if she's carrying multiple embryos. It's not just the female being murdered, but her embryo children as well. The world is going nuts.
I wonder when they will get to the point when they decide that sperm is children and all the men behind this nonsense immediately go to prison for genocide.
This is absolutely ridiculous.
If I was the judge, and your lawyer stated that’s his argument I’m holding him in content
An apologist for genocide giving a tongue bath to another apologist for genocide.
Sisters and brothers, we CANNOT return to a time before birth control! Who in the world believes that this is a good idea?!!!!
Republican theocrats, iow, all of them.
Except for themselves, of course: THEY have special needs.
Are you channeling Johnny Carson?
Rocking onto the balls of your feet, touching your tie, hands in your pockets... Does Evie know she's potentially sleeping with Johnny Carson??
Colbert... you can't be just on Joe's side and that is OK. I respect that. Love the President.
Chill-dren not warm-chren 😂 I hate to laugh but that was a good one lol
Brilliant monologue!!
I am so sick and tired of people taking perjury lightly! If Chesebro did indeed lie under oath, they need to give him the full 20 years. He is in a position where he should know the law well enough, know the circumstances he is in well enough, and he is involved in some serious criming, they need to give him the full 200 years for perjury if he did indeed lie under oath. I am so sick and tired of people committing perjury and still walking around free afterwards. Do we have laws or not? Are we going to take our country seriously or not? I'm sick of the corruption and I'm sick of all the lying, and lying under oath is serious! It's bad enough people lie on camera and on social media all the time, in a courtroom, under oath, is one of those times that we need to keep sacred and not allow lying. Especially when our republic is under attack by these liars and their lies are the ammunition they're using.
OMG YOU DID IT! You mentioned Gaza! You did forget to say "his support of Israel's War Crimes in Gaza" tho...
Why don't YOU call for a ceasefire Stephen!!....😪
“Hurt people hurt people”….. poor Stephen. 😅😅😅
HILARIOUS 😂😂😂 HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE
That last joke....that is FIRE!
Inserting a child in a woman's body seems a little criminal to me
As I am a true blood man and born in the USA I believe that women should have the right to do whatever they want in life and we should not interfere in the workings of their these women are strong and pendant women and they worked really hard to be a part of us and this beautiful nation I know I am a person who is just a small guy in a crowd but I believe that one day someone's going to see this message and realize that there is a man out there that supports them any guy who reads this don't a ass and help them out and be a true gentleman.
Let’s be honest Biden had already started his ice cream before they asked him a question.Is he going to say I won’t answer your question while I’m eating ice cream.He was being polite answering the question!
Exactly. Polite and nonchalant. ❤️
Stephen! I am old so I can't stay awake to watch...soooo, I start my mornings watching CZcams and laughing!!! Even if I feel like crap. Thank You. (Toledo, Ohio)❤🖕
I knew Stephen would be jealous! 🤣🤣🤣
EVERYONE HERE... you must go see Seth's segment on his ice cream eating cameo. It's SO GOOD.
Perfect joke about Republican hypocrisy - one man, two daughters & a pillar of salt that likes to watch ! 🎉😊
Let the hard working man enjoy his ice cream
Formerly stationed in Missouri here, those people do NOT have car pool lanes
Proud Michigander here!
Colbert is a gem
NY AG James is going to grab his buildings by the balls! 😂 They let you do that when you’re bankrupt 🤣
🤣🤣🤣💯
It is adorable and hilarious that most of the late night show hosts are savages to each other. No one tops John Oliver, though.
Badger Pundit- I would watch every episode.
Just as a parent, I wouldn’t have believed Cheese Bro. Sounded like a six year old denying he cut the hair off his sisters doll. I sure hope the justice department sends him too his room for a long time out, say 15 years for example. It was treason after all.
Seth did a whole Closer Look clowning himself! 😂😂😂
Life begins with the first unassisted breath.
Brilliant reference to Lot - cracked me up!
Too rich to pay a fine...wtf are they smoking?
Humorous ....BUT a vitally important bit about the ludicrous decisions being pushed and passed to please a group of "conservative white "Christian " politicians and judiciary members. And yet ...news media without such programs as Stephen Colbert, would have us ignore this evil in our country. Thanks writers and Stephen C
Hey, ice cream aside, he operates in the bounds of reality, a key component of a competent leader.
Does that mean that you can claim your embryos as dependents on your taxes.
STEPHEN ALWAYS MAKES ME LAUGH, HE IS GREAT AT HIS PROFESSION
Remember Aaron Bushnell. Free Palestine
9:00 absolutely brilliant ... women in those states should all be using carpool lanes and when pulled over state that they are pregnant, if an embryo is a person, it counts, and if they want to stick the ticket, it will be a fun day in court.
4:59 yes i caught that "Jailhouse Rock" chord, well done sir
Spot on hon🎉and hysterical as usual!
I respect how responsible Michigan's Arab Americans were with their protest. They showcased their justifiable grips without trying to sabotage our fragile democracy by voting for Philips or Williamson.
I’d watch THAT Badger Pundit!
"I stole too much money from your city to be held responsible for paying my court ordered damages."
"I'll answer after I finish this icecream". Followed by 5 minutes of silence.
No. That's not how it went.
"he's too rich"??? is that why it's practically (im)possible for some folks who're struggling financially post for a bail bond? do they actually think the socioeconomically despaired are capable of paying for a bail that can LITERALLY bankrupt them??? these bourgeoisie-bandits make me sick!