Do Filipinos owe their families everything? | Breaking The Tabo | One Down
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- čas přidán 18. 06. 2024
- A Filipino’s love language is sacrificing their personal goals for the sake of their family’s well-being. While other people can just tell their family they love them or give them gifts, Filipinos are taught that love looks like never talking back to your lolo, especially when he says something you disagree with. So, are we selfish for complaining, especially when many of us grow up in situations better than our parents or grandparents did? Is our duty as a Filipino, to our families over ourselves? And what happens when we do choose ourselves over what our families want? In this episode, we explore this all, and we'd LOVE to know what you think about the implied debt to our families. #FilipinoCulture #UtangNaLoob #Indebtedness #BreakingTheTabo
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Created by: Leo Albea
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As a filipino myself, the one thing I hate about my own culture is how toxic it is. For example:
1: gossip the f*ck out of everything
2: always late
3: colonial mentality
4: crab mentality
5: inconsiderate and thoughtless of others
6: pinoy pride
7: ignorant of rules/laws
8: onion skinned (hypersensitive/over emotional)
9: short tempered and impatient
10: hypocrite
11: double standard
12: constant shaming and guilt tripping
13: talks too loud and too much
14: mental illness is never taken seriously
15: religious fanaticism
16: racism
17: indecisive and scatter brained
18: poor financial planning and
19: irresponsible when it comes to money
20: victim blaming on top of suffering from victim mentality
21: low emotional intelligence
22: abuse tolerant society
23: corrupt
24: hypersexual without any thought for consequences after
I've heard other people say "but this happens in other cultures". Here's my problem with that statement: just because it happens in other cultures doesn't make it excusable for us filipinos
Preach...
jup not filipino but my GF is and been there 4 times and have seen a few of the once you mentioned
That's not just philipinos' culture. Trust me.
It's part of every culture, you're probably doing those things you mentioned too. Just live in the mountains alone man so you dont have to complain about it. Geez 😒
@@cinta3805That's typical how traditional Filipinos justify their primitive mindset. Meanwhile the Philippines is moving backward, and Filipinos need to rely on other civilizations.
I've been living mostly in the Philippines since mid-November and I think this "utang na loob" is THE no.1 reason for the poverty of the Philippines. In the west our philosophy was generally one of trying to make your kids into good people and trying to make their lives good. Essentially, parents work for the sake of their kids. The ancient Greeks said "Society grows great when old men plant trees in the shade of which they know they’ll never sit"
In the Philippines, this is almost exactly the other way around. Kids serve their parents and have a more co-dependent relationship. The Philippines consistently sacrifices the future (it's children) for the present (the parents) and this has resulted in each generation of Filipinos living in worse poverty than the last. The Philippines will never get better unless a generation of its youth finally says "enough, I will not do to my kids what was done to me"
If you don’t like being Filipino just ignore your family and move on with your life. Your family and their values will never change but if someone else changes you and you’re happy with that then just go with it drop everything about you being Filipino and move on that’s it. You don’t have to keep complaining. Some people don’t even want to step into Philippines. Ever that’s fine drop your old Pham style and get with your new modern family or forget about Filipino. Just a reminder, you’re still a brown, but with an American accent, whoa big deal
It's such a backward culture. We have many in New Zealand. They don't just look, and sound awkward. They act awkward too. Phil adults go to McDonald's with their parents on Saturday night lol. I bet they ask for toys.
Yeah, utang na loob. So basically doing something for the kids when they're younger (making them focus heavily on their studies), in order to benefit in the future with the money they earn and using them as your retirement fund.
Traditionally, that is how the elderly were taken care of. Nobody wanted to end up like those miserable old folks in America living in nursing homes.
You mean instead of leaving our parents to rot in the gutter and die alone in their old age?
@@rhobx Well, they’re adults as well, and they should have thought about retirement right? The sad part is, this is not well thought in schools and many Filipinos are financially uneducated.
@@johnphiliplacerna8720 That's the reality of our country
The difference between me and my Filipino father in law is that I’ve spent my life planning to make sure my kids are ok after I’m gone, while my father in law has spent his life planning to be taken care of himself- most by his daughter (my wife) rather than his sons. That’s why i will always have contempt for him.
You don’t owe your family a damn thing. Love should never be conditional. I don’t follow the “utang na loob” culture. I think it’s ridiculous and toxic. I’m there for my family because I choose to. Not because I am pressured to. And if I choose to stop giving, they have no right to get upset with me
Me and my mother had a conversation much like this. When i told her i wanted to work so l can give her a better life, and mentioning the "kasi utang na loob". My mom was vexed. Shouting out loud "NOOOOOOOO. MALI KA DIYAN. BASTA'T MABUTI KANG ANAK GUSTO MONG TUTULUNGAN ANG MGA MAGULANG MO!!! HINDI YON UTANG NA LOOB."
She had corrected me.
"Anong ginawa ko para isipin mo yan. Hindi naman ako ganung tipo ng magulang."
Eng trans:
Noooo! As long as you're a good child, you'd naturally want to help your parents!
If you're reading this, God bless your mom. 🙏❤️
What a manipulative thing to say to a child
Manipulative parents
@@silverwindspirit She probably meant it in a sense that one would wanna do it out of the goodness in his/her heart, not out of obligation. So it's like "You can help us if you want. We're not forcing you to. Just be a good person. "
Also, "Anong ginawa ko para isipin mo yan. Hindi naman ako ganung tipo ng magulang." in English is like "I didn't raise you to think of that. I'm not that type of parent."
Im a teen they always talk about my future so i can give them a better life :/
That's why I changed my mind about dating Filipinas, you always have to take care of their whole family, no thanks lol
Good decision. I wish I’d reconsidered when I had the chance. Now I have my father-in-law, a hideous 95-year old reptile, sponging off me, as he has for most of the last 20 years.
I'm Filipino and don't like to date Filipinos anymore. I've had 4 in the past and they were toxic as well as their family members. Never again
That’s good bro. Luckily my ENTIRE family is well off so my American step dad didn’t have to spend a dime on any family member🤣
@@slo369 I wish there were more like you 😅
I'm filipino and i agree!
Love how these videos are taking a deeper look and opening up the conversation in the culture. 🙏🏾
Not really
This is just a sad phenomenon. I can relate to this a lot, I earn like 19k a month but i give majority to them (to pay for my brothers tuition, pay off bills, ect) then they ask me on what i have achieved already like wtf, gosh i hate this kind of culture 😓
We need to move out from our parents home and be more independent! I was force to be more independent because I had to study college in public Uni in Manila but now I am living like I am so poor because I am paying for my bros allowance in college and mom's groceries, bills and farm animals feeds but we had an agreement since I help fund the construction of our provincial house then this June 26 2023 my bro will graduate in college I will stop providing and focus with savings to build my own business then quit my toxic call center job.
You hate that kind of culture yet you continue to give money…. You’re just as bad because you continue to do it even though you know it’s toxic. You make your own choices.
@@valarmorghulis8139how are you only earning 19k? I know they pay more than that. Unless you went to a smaller CC? I don’t know the insides, but I had skater friends working in that business before I left college.
Correct and the higher you earn, the more you are obliged to provide.
@@valarmorghulis8139 Di mo magagawa yan lalo kung mahirap ang pamilya mo. Nakatali ka talaga sa kanila kasi ikaw lang ang inaasahan.
Thank you One Down... For explaining this indepth.
Everytime we argue about my individual plan and ofcourse money, my mom would say on my face and even brag to our neighborhood "kung hindi dahil saken , hindi makakarating si _______ sa ibang bansa" it's her way of saying that I don't have any right to complain nor get tired because of this thing called "utang na loob" . I left ph when I was only 24 y/o and now Im turning 31 and GOD KNOWS, I did my best and keep doing my best just to please them.
If I were you, I wouldn't worry about your family. You have the money and resources to be a successful person. You can cut contact with them and disappear from social media. You will go further when you don't have this toxic mindset
@@pungolay6586 nah I wouldn’t go as far as cutting them off. Id never do that to a family member. Personally I put my foot down and made it clear to my uncles who think they can just ask me for money. They were obviously Burt hurt but eventually they understand and we’re still in good hands. The only difference now is they know I have set boundaries and they don’t ask me anymore
Im 38 years old. I live in London. I work 2 jobs as a nurse and a camera operator. I have a girlfriend who is quite independent and we have 2 cats. I was raised by my grandparents because my mother and father abandoned me when I was 6 years old. I was fed, educated and raised by them. It was a very strict household. I did not hang out much with my peers and I had to focus on studies more. I was punished for little mistakes that I do too. With that, I developed a personality that is distant and keeping friends became the least of my priorities and I attribute that to my upbringing. I was made to kneel on salt, peas, beans. I was beaten with a belt, slippers, stick for little mistakes that I did. I was taught not to ask money and whenever I ask money, it needs to be extremely justified. My grandparents were middle class. They had jobs and they had money. I wasn’t that kind of kid where I wanted the latests and trendiest. I was taught to be content with what is given and asking money from anyone is shameful.
I left the Philippines by taking out a loan from my aunt. She was god send because she gave me the chance to leave by lending me money to love abroad. I made sure to pay her back as fast as I can with interest because I want to start saving for my future. However, I am still being guilt tripped by my grandmother. She believes that its my duty to send her money every month to which I never did. I believe that sure, they raised me, fed me and educated but it dis come with a price. I sacrificed my hobbies, I developed a distant behaviour towards others and in general, I just function on my own which is lonely. That is the payment for what they gave me so I see that as a fair trade.
My grandmother has a big pension and she gets monthly stipend from my aunt and my sister and somehow that is still not enough because she expects me to send her money. At one point, I told her that I will not send the money because I am saving for my future that in emergencies, I can pull money from my hard earned pockets. She ranted that I should have plenty already and I should share. I don’t have much, I have debts and I am already running 2 jobs and I barely rest. She doesn’t understand that.
I am angry because of that. I feel like Im a cash cow and I am not allowed to enjoy my life until im 60. Thats the very reason why I rarely go back to the Philippines. Filipinos call me selfish but I have a life and I have learned from a very young age that I must survive and prioritise myself because at the end of the day, no one will take care of me but myself. Bottom line is that “utqng na loob” is a toxic Filipino trait that needs to stop.
I feel you. Stay firm with your boundaries because none of them will help if you have gone homeless. Laban lang!
Me personally (and deep down), I do not like family gatherings. It feels like I'm obligated or forced to befriend some strangers who share my blood. Also, when I become talkative, I am labeled as annoying. But when I am quiet, I am forced to speak. In those gatherings, they may ask you questions like "do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?", "what is your course?", "can you tell me more about your life?", etc. But I just want to keep my life private from them. I do not want to reveal my personal life with them. I also do not like idle chit-chat or small talk (but in family gatherings, there is a lot of idle chit-chat).
Yeah, best not to. They will use that information later to make gossip about you, lie about you, use that information against you, weaponizing any way they can, to their advantage. Don't let them know who you are, where you work, where you live. Be as elusive as humanly possible. If you tell them what you know and what you have, they will try and take it from you. They will turn up at your door and try to worm into your life, allowing even more snakes to penetrate. Keep the door shut tight and stay far far away from them!
They asked me if I have a boyfriend when I was only 10
NOPE. Zero obligation.
This is why the (poor bracket population) cycle of poverty in the Philippines is just that, a cycle for millions of families.
And then parents would have too many children they can't afford thinking that when they (kids) grow up, the parents would throw the U.N.Loob card down in hopes their children are their pension plan... But little do the parents know, it takes MONEY to raise all their children to make a decent living.... So their grown children make close to nothing but minimum wage.... What a joke.
It's really stupid here really, and I'm glad I don't give money to family who can't help themselves. I have a goal and a standard of living I want to acheive. And if some Juan Tamad or poor parents who made wrong ulit ulit decisions in life, then too bad... Especially family members who Anak pa more with wlang Pera.
Pray to sky daddy for money/blessings, don't ask me..... It wasn't blessings and prayers that got me here. It was making sacrifices removing myself from the environment you (parents) put me in... Discipline,some tough decisions, grit and hardwork.
Why support a poor family when their poor kids have crap cell phones and tiktok all day.
BTW rich and middle upper class don't expect their children to owe them anything... Parents expect them to improve and do better for the next generation.
Took the words right out of my mouth
🙌🙌🙌
If you happen to have grown up in the slums of Manila, you'd probably do the same thing.
@@rhobx Your statement lacks critical thinking. Im not surprised.
My great grandparents were poor... And 3 generations later we are doing just fine. What people in the poor slums in Manila don't know is THEY ARE A PART OF THE PROCESS. People in slums can dig themselves out of poverty slowly by giving the NEXT generation a better chance and then their next generation taking it further improving the family tree. And they can achieve this by discipline, some hard work, right choices, sacrifices and GRIT.
@@brentvillanueva15You did the pull yourself up by the bootstrap argument when talking about people in poor and underprivileged circumstances. That's brain dead. And it's funny how you act self righteous throughout your comments.
Not everyone in life especially when you're poor, will become successful just by being disciplined and hardworking. You have what people call "survivorship bias"
Survivorship bias or survival bias is the logical error of concentrating on entities that passed a selection process while overlooking those that did not. It's hard to swallow but most people who become successful despite underprivileged circumstances are simply luck based.
Definitely! Well done on the topic
Would be a great podcast for you to have a questionnaire with a filippino therapist and historian from questions accumulated from twitter and yt.
As a filipino we dont have utang na loob in our family, we just have the word responsibility.. bcos utang na loob is a toxic meaning...
Thank you One Down. Kudos! Please keep producing quality content, these are my daily dose of internet HAHHAH.
Relatable content with my Mother retired already and 4 of my siblings are already abroad
Bahala na actually comes from Bathala na - meaning leave it to God. Before the Spanish turned most of us into Catholics. Native Filipinos had Bathala as their God. So in tough situations one would say Bathala na.
Whaaaat. I’ll have to go into that rabbit hole. The austronesians were amazing
It's a parents job to take care of kids until they finish highschool... its not a child's job to pay it forward.... my mother is first generation American and my grandparents came here with nothing.... and became stable.... they never wanted there kids to give up there wants and needs.... paying it forward is a poor person's mentality.... thats why provinces have internet instability from the 1940s
I have a question. I have couple of friends who date or dated Filipinos and every single one of my friends experienced this. They bring in their family to my friend's house and wants to live him. Either they want to live together or want their sibling members to live with him. I think this is really weird. It's like they want him to take care of them.
I'm married to a Filipina and have experienced this for over 20 years. I STILL have my father in law living with me. He's 95 and is feeble and helpless, but he was already pretty feeble 20 years ago, because he stopped working 40 years ago and saw no reason to stay healthy and active since he was just going to make people take care of him, anyway. In general, there is no more parasitic, hideous or shameless creature in the world than an elderly Filipino.
@@philmole1209 I feel you. It's like they have no moral conduct. Don't they feel bad leeching off people? Shameless...
Because old school parents are leeches to their kids’ futures (or whatever is left of it).
What's worst is that you see these struggling families still have BABIES.. Having their children inherit their sufferings.
If life is too hard already, why bring new POOR SOUL into suffering?
Dignity and empathy are not even real concepts in Filipino culture. They are non-existent. Children are seen as not having a soul. They are just objects or things - like wind-up toys - machines that you can hit, and they bring in money to you.
Bruh I saw a lady on the street begging for money with 5 children ranging from newborn to 5 years. So 1 after another every year?! I was like how tf did you think this was gonna turn out?!
When it comes to this, how do you deal with verbally abusive family in these scenarios especially as a caregiver role to the parents?
There is one Filipino toxic trait i truly despised the most is helping out by sending money halfway across the globe to all your distant relatives even though you have never met them before. It is not my fault that they have a dozen kids and didn't do anything to better themselves. So basically, cos I'm from Canada, they automatically think I'm rich and their go to finance.
Same thing here! I'm mexican american and it's common for Mexican immigrants in the usa to send they money to they distant realatives in mx cuz they distant relatives in mexico think Americans are rich! And in mx its common for people to have a dozen kids (especially the older generation)
To be fair though, if you still choose to give money to them, it’s your own fault for doing so….. know when to say no and don’t feel any shame in doing so. If they’re ignorant that’s their problem not yours
@@knucklehoagies I saw their conditions when I went back to Philippines and felt bad. I gave them money to start their supposedly business, none of them improved their lifestyle. They just gambled my money. Even if only 1 relative screwed up, I stopped sending help and refuse to believe their stories.
@@ailleenvargas23 I agree, kids are their retirement pension. Now it causes population overload, not enough resources to feed everyone. That creates malnutrition to children. Cycle continues. Govt can only do so much, yet these people have no concept of family planning. Its easy and fun what happens in their bedroom but it’s so hard to raise even a single child yet alone having. Dozens. I no longer have any sympathies for them.
@@patrickrimbao4233 Thats good. Good for you. I have very similar experiences too. Relatives who would out of the blue try to ask me for money or some sort of free handout. Being super sweet, friendly, acting as if we're close.... then I'll tell them no and I will never hear from them ever again.... it really exposes who they truly care about.
There is nothing to be proud of being Filipino.
Why?!
@@ailleenvargas23because our culture is extremely toxic. Filipinos refuse to acknowledge this and we’re not known for taking criticism well. One of the main reasons why we remain a 3rd world nation.
You guys are good singers and are nice but that's it 😢
Basically everything wrong with Filipino society is just the reason why there is nothing to be proud of. From toxic family culture, poor work ethic, setting low standards for themselves (only aiming for menial jobs), uneducated people making stupid decisions believing always in religion and superstition.
The entire culture in its current form needs to be flushed away and so it can start over. It might take another 300-600 years though to see any real progress, if ever.
Great video. But I'm American, and over here we translate "utang na loob" as "the philosophy and ethics of a bum."
Never heard that b4
I’d never imagined anyone could possibly be so lazy, selfish and entitled until I met my Filipino in laws. My 95 year old father in law stopped working 40 years ago because he could sponge off family, first his wife and then his daughter, my wife. I’ve been married 20 years and he’s lived with me for 17 of them and has no gratitude or self awareness of the misery he causes. He’s a bum. A sickening, hideous parasite. And utang na loob is a big part of what made him that way.
I really love your accent
That moment when you wanna buy something for yourself but you always hold back coz it makes you feel like you're being selfish.
For me, I will repay my parents and go abroad. I don’t wish to live anymore with such a mentality, it’s to painful na.
Lol i always help my family financially,not out of utang na loob ,but because i truly love them ,and im thankful for my parents na kahit gaano.... ako ka tigas ng ulo dati, na stress sila ng bongga sakin ay minahal parin nila ako at pinag aral.. para saan ba ang pamilya? They are here para magjng kasangga natin sa lahat ng panahon,
Im thankful for my mother dahil hindi nya inaasa lahat sa anak nya, she has her own ways to earn money,but sometimes na shoshort talaga which is di natin maiwasan kasi mahal talaga mga bilihin ngayun,and we still have 4 student's, so i always help my sibs,,,
No one will tell you what to do with your money. But if giving hinders you from achieving uour goals, your future and your financial stability, that's on you. It's your choice and that's okay... Enabling lazy people is never okay
I agree with you. The only thing is boundaries are not part of our culture and instead of helping family members get on their feet. They never get on their feet and just freeload which is not right
@@brentvillanueva15 that is why theres boundaries set..bruh, if youu have the money..give a helping hand to those that deserve it...shits hard out in the philippines...I dont care how care free it may seem, I have seen workers light up when I give a 300 pesos tip
Having to carry the burden is hard.
We all got into this world without our consent.
I agree!
Wait isn’t that sapphire from snarled?
Yes! The one and the only :)
omg!!! sapphire!!! i really missed listening to you :(((!!!!
Sapphire 😍 galing mo teh
Yes
The issue with Filipino gamer H2WO and his mom highlighted the toxicity of this trait. I want to end it with me even if it means that I'll be childless as I have experienced it myself from my parents.
sorry, but the way you pronounce utang na loob is lowkey funny 😆
No filipino should help parents if they never raised you as a child... the child should not sacrifice there goals for their parents until they retire or they need physical help
"bagong bayani" my ass.. these people HAD to leave because they had nothing to expect here.
that is self serving about “sacrifice” .. if baby in the womb has a choice they prefer richer parents so it means there is no sacrifice its just choice for parents to do it meaning it will stop the generational poverty..
This whole "utang na loob" thing gets worse when you're queer and/or mentally disabled because your family will keep violating your boundaries and personhood and your acquaintances outside your family will stigmatize the thought of you cutting your family off.
I hate this culture with passion. I’ve been a breadwinner for years now
Well since our country doesn’t have well funded healthcare, subsidies for education, for people who are in difficult circumstances, etc. so we are stuck in backward family dynamics to survive. For as long as government neglects society from these basic needs then this toxic social mentality will persist through the next generation.
Translation: "I had you without your consent so you could be my early retirement in 18 years'
You don't get a vote, just emotional blackmail to support not just parents, but cousins, siblings and everyone else.
Kung bubusisiin natin ang culture ng Filipino ang ganda. Dahil ang mga Filipino susuportahan talaga niya ang pamilya niya hanggang kaya niya. ANG "UTANG NA LOOB" DEPENDE NA SA PAGPAPALIWANAG MO SA PAMILYA MO. MINSAN KASI IBA IBA VERSION ANG PAGPAPALINAWANAG SA MGA ANAK. ANG MGA FILIPINO HINDI MAWAWALA ANG TIWALA SA KAY JESUS CHRIST ALWAYS KASAMA ANG DIYOS UPANG MAGABAYAN SA MAGANDA PATUTUNGUHAN NG BUHAY.
ANONG PINAGSASASABE MO
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Wag mo kami idami tanginamo
Kaya nga halos walang progress ang PH eh, dahil dyan sa mga excuses at Katolismo
It's Parents responsibility to raise, provide their child. It was choice they made even before the child was born. No you don't owe anything from your parent. If you made it in life and wants to share your blessings and thank your parent for all they've done to you, great, but this is not your obligation.
never talking back to your lowlow.
Omg is that sapphire sandalo?
Just leave foreigners out of it.
We don't have to financially support anyone outside of our partners.
This is simply manipulatively toxic.
As a bible believer, the filipino value seems not biblical. In 2nd Corinthians 12:14 the apostle writes that “… children ought not to lay up for their parents, but parents for their children.” The bible says that parents should save for their children, not the other way round. The family has an obligation to provide for their child so there should be no obligation to provide at the expense family abroad. If they claim to follow God, why are they promoting such ungodly values? Remember, Filipinos mostly go to church.
They can come up with some of the most wildest tangent beliefs. Going to church obviously doesn't make a person a Christian, it just makes them more accountable if they aren't saved. Or they're simply lured in the trap of a false prophet or false preacher.
🛐🙏❤facts💓❤❤💕❤❤❤💖💞❤♥️❤💗❤💕❤💖😭Heavenly Father JesusGod, I know that I am a sinner. I know that I deserve the consequences of my sin. However, I am trusting in Jesus Christ as my Savior. I believe that His death and resurrection provided for my forgiveness. I trust in Jesus and Jesus alone as my personal Lord and Savior. Thank you Lord, for saving me and forgiving me! In Jesus Mighty God's holy name, Amen!"
💗❤❤💞This Gospel message if you continue to believe this message, you will be saved: For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried , that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time,
Guilt trip !!!!
No. If you want to help, help because you care not because you expect something in return. Why can't everyone pull their own weight and be responsible? Don't have kids if you can't support them on your own. My cousin has cancer and working like a horse again to support her siblings and parents.
Plantita si sister ^_^
so depressing
I have warned my relatives not to ever contact my children. Both are successful Engineers and a couple of my relatives attempted to ask for money. I was so angry I can’t believe they had the audacity to do that. That toxic culture ends w my boys: I will never let my kids practice that ever.
why making accents to filipino words 😅 cringy
Because you can't just switch one word to another accent. It would sound improper. Stupid!
My children are not born so they can take of me and my wife. They are born so they can live their lives to the fullest. If they take care of us good. If not then good as well. In not gonna hold them accountable for living their life. Im currently dealing this issue with my dad right now who is dealing with his health issues due to his previous heavy drinking sessions to which i have to fcking part of yet im the one dealing with it now…
Kalokohan yan. Stop it. You have obligation to your own son and daugther and your wife.
You still do not get it.
Nope
I'm sorry to say but this is a misconception of Filipino values even to the extent to associating with Chinese Filial Piety.
Utang na loob is one Filipino indigenous concept you cannot just just easily translate. It's not just debt of gratitude. This is not reciprocity. It's innate. It's hardwired given that we are a communal society. I'll give you a family scenario for you to understand it better.
When you stopped working for your family and live on your own they won't call you igrato o walang utang na loob. They might call you selfish or not loving your family. However, when terribly disrespected your parent that supported you and say that you don't owe them anything, you are IGRATO!
One misconception of utang na loob is when it's associated with Filipinos working as bread winners. They do not do that out of utang na loob. Also, utang na loob is different from pinapautang na loob. This is situation where utang na loob is taken advantage of.
Utang na loob is something you cannot find in a western society most especially in this generation. Please study it's historical and anthropological origin before we make comments on them. Do not rely on what you see on social media. Lastly, don't look at it from a western perspective. This is a general statement.
Utang na loob is one beautiful Filipino values that we can be proud of.
It keeps Filipinos poor and easily controlled though...
Totally understandable. And you are correct, there is no direct translation to what "Utang na Loob" really is, especially how it is applied/experienced in real life. "Utang na Loob" in its very essence is a beautiful thing, giving back and being grateful. BUT... the reality is... a lot of Filipino families have a twisted view of this and has become an expectation of reciprocity. Saying no to your family, especially parents, has become taboo. The line between "standing up for yourself" and "ingrato" [being ungrateful] becomes blurred depending on your perspective. My family and I are OFWs, my parents have been working abroad for 2-3 decades but only recently did they start saving up for retirement. I discovered that by accident when I told them I was rethinking my career and they indirectly asked how was I going to provide for my family and if I can manage to support them. A lot of my generation will agree that we will not see our parents in the street and will make sure their basic needs are met. But the expectation of a regular allowance+utilities+medical needs+ etc etc... is a lot when we ourselves can barely think about our own future. I want to be proud of the "Utang na Loob" value... but not in its current form.
The thing is. You weren’t asked to be born. Yes support your family if you feel like it and if they don’t expect you to support, but expect you to be able to support youself so you yourself in the future can support your children so on and so on. Now see that’s a more stable way to ensure that the bloodline isn’t gonna run thin
@@Kuya.Marcito yeah and if your parents are old and poor, just let them live in the streets and dine with the rats.
Like every value some people will twist it enough to become its own vice. Case to case basis
These people has no idea on how to be a filipino. Don't change filipino culture.
Filipino culture is beautiful especially its focus on family. But you have to understand, like everything else, it is not perfect. I'm not saying we have to allow or ignore being "bastos" [disrespectful], but perhaps having the choice to say "no" should be normalized. If my parents ask me for financial support and I say no/i cannot/i am unable to, why am I automatically labeled as a bad child or selfish? Why is that immediately labeled as being ungrateful?
I disagree with this! I’m of Filipino descent and this video does not address anything. Not everyone comes from a loving Filipino family. How dare you tell Filipinos around the world to put up with such disrespect from immediate family and pressure younger generations that they owe parents shit!! This video is such BS!!
I don’t think their point was to tell people to put up with the disrespect. More so to acknowledge that this family dynamic is all about sacrifice (good and bad), and that it puts a lot of pressure on the younger generation and that pressure can be devastating. They also acknowledge that each generation goes through different things that the others will either never have to face or never understand
I do agree that this video doesn’t address as much as it could. They essentially talk about the topic to acknowledge its existence and not much else
Totally misunderstanding the point of the video
@@meekylikesnoodles please stfu. you really don't know me.
Did u go to school?
Yes I went to school. Your response has nothing to do with my rebuttal.
americana ba tong host na to bat may accent ung "bahala na"? nagpapasosyalan ba tayo dito
Because you can't just switch one word to another accent. It would sound improper. Stupid!
typical Filipino. finding the tiniest fault without comprehending the message. Stupid talaga.
Filipina ata Pero born and raised sa America