Dating in 2024 is "SEX WORK" & Transactional Love - FT ILIKEHAIR LayeredBob Short Wavy wig
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- čas přidán 27. 04. 2024
- Dating in 2024 is "SEX WORK" and Transactional Love-WHY MODERN DATING IS BROKEN|LUCY BENSON FT ILIKEHAIR.COM
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I think a lot of women just want security. A lot of women are tired of the struggle. When I say struggle, I mean dating men that can’t provide for them. And I’m not talking about luxury items; I’m talking about when you start a family, you need to know if that man can provide for that family. Hopefully, I’m making sense. In a lot of cultures, they don’t allow their daughters to date men or marry men that are not financially stable. Pretty much what you said at the end. I also agree. I don't agree with everything Sprinkle is saying, but I do believe she's saying, Don't let a man use you.
Exactly 📌
This is the only comment that makes sense.
This movement is due to the poor treatment Women have received. I'm celibate, financially stable, educated with 2 degrees so I'm not in my sprinkle sprinkle era. But as someone who has studied sociology all relationships are transactional. Parent/Child, Husband/Wife even Owner/Pet.
I agree some of the dating tips and theories are Ludacris, archaic and morally bankrupt but at its core (before it got overshadowed by the crazies) the level up, feminity, soft life, divestment, sprinkle sprinkle is for women to up their standards.
i see your point and it seems like it has led to an over correction as a result.
@@thecatalyst1762 🎯🎯🎯
Quiet as it's kept The 19-year-old that got chopped up I think was a result of the movements she's been hearing online. The way BW are so loud talking about hard wig soft life, 🍝🦞 and leveling up don't think the wolves in sheeps clothing aren't privy to the discourse.
She thought "Oh I see a white man he must got some money" and he was much older than her so she thought he also provided a sense of security. She didn't know who she was dealing with and unfortunately she lost her life.
@@thecatalyst1762and what is wrong with an over correction regarding a woman’s standards❤
i agree but standards for your husband not for a sugar daddy or temporary boyfriend to use/manipulated.
Make a video about how to date in a healthy way and cherish a guy in a safe way that won’t affect any of the part specially if your religious
I'm in support of this .
Ikr
Stop listening to the birds and go back to the basics.
No sex🚫
Have boundaries🚫
Demanding?
#1 is keep your legs closed. There’s no way around this and anyone saying otherwise is delusional.
If you look at the history and foundation of the relationships between men and women, it has always been transactional in some way shape or form. Men married women for $exual pleasure and for her to give him kids to continue his legacy and women married men so he would financially support her and her offsprings. There is always some exchange between $ex and money between men and women even if it’s indirect. You can be married and still doing $ex work indirectly. And this is how it has always been since the beginning but women are just being more vocal about the monetary aspect on social media but again it’s nothing new.
Hmmmm this comment 😮😮
Yeah for some people. For others, they do it the way God intended it. Serving each other with love.
@@prettygemini3432 lmao which Bible are YOU reading?
@@destined2bebossy every Bible talks about how God intended marriage to be
@@prettygemini3432😂 y’all insane
Let’s talk about it !!!!!! I recently came to this realization after watching sprinkle sprinkle videos for yearsssszzzz … the city girl life is not for me!! I’ve retired the mindset of getting something out of a person in order to love them. Now I just want to be loved for me and not have to date someone’s grandpa for a nice handbag 😂😂
Dating life now is TRASH on both men and women's sides! You are speaking the truth!!
Girl, i completely agree with you. I spent the majority of my 20s with dating men who had a certain job or earned a certain amount, etc. And I'm 27 now, and I'm so over that whole lifestyle and mindset. I came off social media and i started focusing on what i really wanted in my life, relationship etc and i realized that i was heavily influenced by social media that i had to spend time unlearning all that crap. I am a top 10% earner in my country and when i tell you i am interested in going 50/50, believe me. I've dealt with men who earned as much or more than me and girl, they were all awful and i don't blame them, i blamed myself because i had guys who had good personality and character and i rejected them for the high earners and girl, ive learnt my lesson. I also realized i don't need a man to give me the lifestyle i want or material things, desires etc. I can give myself those things and after realizing that, it changed my expectations. I actually want love and i know that its not guaranteed I'll find it, but I'm dating men based on character and not their salary. Great video btw.
Unpopular Opinion: I definitely understand what you are saying Lucy because I hear this rebuttal a lot; however, many relationships are transactional in some way; otherwise you are putting yourself in a position to be used. If a woman only wants "love" that's fine, but I don't think we should put other women down for requiring other standards, particularly money, when it come to dating a man. People are in relationships and marriages for different reasons and who are we to judge? I think money is important, and if a women prioritizes money in getting to know someone that is her right. Every women is not having sex either, which is a personal choice as well. Let's be mindful that every woman doesn't want a "Disney love story" and security is more important to her.
Men dangle “romance” in front of women to use women and make them think relationships are like in the fairy tales and men don’t have to provide air take care of women.
If you look at the history and foundation of the relationships between men and women, it has always been transactional in some way shape or form. Men married women for $exual pleasure and for her to give him kids to continue his legacy and women married men so he would financially support her and her offsprings. There is always some exchange between $ex and money between men and women even if it’s indirect. You can be married and still doing $ex work indirectly. And this is how it has always been since the beginning but women are just being more vocal about the monetary aspect on social media but again it’s nothing new. Also men don’t really care about romance, genuinely being a companion and emotions, the ones who seem to do are pretending, so women also started not caring and keeping the same energy. Most men don’t even know how to give org@sms so what is really the benefit of being with men. Most men don’t also help around the house.
I agree with you 💯💯💯👌
So shouldn’t marriage be the first priority if it’s about security?
My exact take on thissss. To each woman, her path.
@andudonstopyo I understand your points but if you should check Lucy"s video tittled"How I have stopped being the Pick me or the Pickmesian..." She stated it in the video that as a woman, you can ask for money from a guy. She said, gone are those days when she used to think collecting money would make the man think you're the best woman.
And just like she just stated, Money is good. You can get things from your relationship but she is trying to say do not make the major reason for dating because of material things. Date for love sake and every other things can be attached
PERIODDDD! I love Shera Seven, I think a lot of her advice is useful; however, the transactional aspect of her “sprinkle sprinkle ideology” literally sounds like sex work. I LOVE how you touched on that.
Thank you sooo much for this!! The transactional mindset comes from nothing less than poverty, frustration and bitterness. Love still exists y’all be safe
Everything is transactional even salvation 😇
@@Oisemuzeimeoop lol
@@Oisemuzeime Transactional as in men are the leaders and women follow, men are the protectors and women are the peace, men are the providers and women are the homemakers. Having a man pay to get to know you or sleep with you is just pure greed and lust and isn’t fulfilling or what God wants us to do.
At this point, you are reading my mind! I was JUST having this conversation with someone.
I honestly just talked to my friend about this .. people don't even look for love anymore they now look for favourable transactions and call it relationships. As a young girl, I've experienced this so many times, and it's sad for people who are actually looking for love.
True, it’s always “if he ain’t spending he ain’t getting this”…and honestly it’s quite problematic.
All relationships are transactional. If not, it is a possibility you are an user, or being used. Most women want men who are successful and able to provide. I don't know a lot of people who are broke and in love. Love is powerful but an added bonus. Also, you being Nigerian you understand the transaction of love. Marrying for love is not first priority there. Lets be honest.
But a lot of those relationships are miserable for the simple fact that both parties feel used and not genuinely appreciated.
@@softbutterfly_xoxo No, When the man knows his role is providing, protecting and Spoiling He never feels used that's cuz he knows his woman is giving back too. But you know who are more miserable the women who are in relationships & marriages that have to pay half the bills, the women who are pregnant but she still have to go to work. What makes you think a man who doesn't spend on you in the beginning is going spend on you when he marries you or you start being in relationship?.
@@SomaliBarbi you're one of those sprinkle sprinkle women huh?? Would you be submissive to a man?? You guys love talking about men's roles but never embody the things those men look for. We live in a time where most ppl can't afford basic necessities and a time where women can do everything a man can do. There's no reason or way for a man to provide in this economy and time period. I'm not saying men shouldn't take care of their women, but splurging money he doesn't have in the name of "providing" is financial irresponsibility. There's nothing wrong with 50/50. Women have been going 50/50 since the dawn of time, read Proverbs 31 of the Bible. The woman described in that chapter owned a business and made her own money. And the bible was written years ago. Women like you who preach against 50/50 are ignorant to history. Only rich white women lived the lifestyle you're talking about because they could afford to to so. Most women throughout history weren't rich and they worked. Whether it was farming, maid work, factory work etc. So stop deluding yourself.
@@SomaliBarbi No. We live in a time where that's not feasible. Ppl are struggling so a man being able to provide 100% in this economy is unrealistic. Theres nothing wrong with being spoiled by your man or taken care of but a man doing that when he can't afford to is financial irresponsibility. Not only that, but women can provide for themselves now so it's not required for a man to do so. Also, men and women have been going 50/50 since the dawn of time. Go read Proverbs 31 of the Bible, the woman described owned a business and made her own money. And the bible was written centuries ago. The only women who didn't go 50/50 were rich white women. Most women throughout history worked, whether its factory work, maids, farming etc. Even in Africa (where I'm from and I'm assuming you are based off your account name) women worked on farms and helped their husbands (helpmates) sell the food they harvested. So stop deluding yourself.
I completely agree! Not saying let that be the only thing when choosing some one, but men want soo much out of women. The bare minimum to require is the ability to provide along with being treated right.
You’re such a blessing Lucy
The big sis nature didn’t give me fr!
This video came at the right time
Wow....I really love how blunt you are about this topic. I can't wait for the next part of it.❤
The topic is what we need rn, a lot of young ladies are getting all wrong. Thank you for touching on the aspect of one’s personal values, standards and beliefs not been changed because other people hurt us or they acted in ways we never expected.
This is so powerful, Lucy! You’re saving lives and relationships 🫂God bless you❤❤❤♾️
Lucy I love you n love your channel ❤
On the topic remember,at the end of the day everything is transactional Lucy,no women in their right mind wants to be with a broke man,women have been abuse n used for nothing.
So we are saying we need some form of security, sex work is having several men for money, but having one affordable man who can provide its not sex work.
No one wants a liability 😅😅😅
Thanks Lucy for always putting things back into perspective 💕
Thank you for this topic, it was very eye opening ❤
queen, you clocked it 😢you snapped ❤️❤️💯
Oh yesss, please make a video about love, would love to hear your take on that. You're absolutely beautiful and lovely💖💖💖
No truer words has been said!!❤️❤️
The hair is givingggggg
I just love you way darn much 😂❤️I’ve watched all of your video and it’s like a Big sister scolding you to be better or learn from a mistake. Thank you Sister Lucy❤️Much love from the Gambia
I love ur channel like am glued bcos the society has made it seem like once u hug a guy he has to pay
😂😂😂😂😂
The topic I’ve been waiting for😂❤
Point! Blank! Period! And that hair looks stunning on you Lucy
You are the internet big sis we need ❤❤😊😊😊
Lucy, thank you!
See now this is a woman who was raised in a healthy environment
7:55 The way I was just audibly shouting “THANK YOU” when you said this 😂
This is why I love Lucy 😂
Thank you for this beautiful video
Great video!🤍❤
Love your videos ❤️
100 per cent correct, everything you said.
I liked before watching 😂😂I trust her 🌟💯
Finally…my kind of person🥰 In almost every way🥰
you have such beautiful eyes sis.😍
The first line 😂
Sis❤
Honestly it's really messed up out there babes. I just feel bad for some of us that have the heart to love genuinely.
Now this is classy we are labeled stupid for not expecting much from anyone but work for our own then hecan add on top.
You look gorgeous ❤
What if your dating someone without expecting anything in return...what do you call that ?
Naive dating that will probably lead to be being taking advantage of
being a bird, unfortunately
It’s crazy I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I definitely think if you are looking for genuine love you should not be watching Shera Seven “sprinkle sprinkle” videos. Shera has said herself she did not marry for love.
The sad part about this dating culture is that it seems like it's all people know how to do and it's sad! And people don't necessarily know how to date anymore because dating is trying to know who the person is but it feels as if people just want to have money and money doesn't solve anything most of these girls at the end of the day they are sad and they don't know how to switch it off because it's all that they know it's all that they've been taught they've never been taught how to love for example in a Godly way I think that also another thing is that we forgot who God is in our in our lives. I honestly think that the only thing the world needs right now is to bring back God in everything in dating and friendships even also it seems like a lot of people don't know how to be friends!
If you look at the history and foundation of the relationships between men and women, it has always been transactional in some way shape or form. Men married women for $exual pleasure and for her to give him kids to continue his legacy and women married men so he would financially support her and her offsprings. There is always some exchange between $ex and money between men and women even if it’s indirect. You can be married and still doing $ex work indirectly. And this is how it has always been since the beginning but women are just being more vocal about the monetary aspect on social media but again it’s nothing new. Also men don’t really care about romance, genuinely being a companion and emotions, the ones who seem to do are pretending, so women also started not caring and keeping the same energy. Most men don’t even know how to give org@sms so what is really the benefit of being with men. Most men don’t also help around the house.
@@sarkie3927 that a sad point of view. However being married was never about sex it's about people living life together as God instant it to be. Husbands are to provide for their families that's not indirect sex work it's how its supposed too be. Society has confused people and Sexual immortality has been made a norm in our society. And if you as a person doesn't know any better you'll continue the circle of Sexual immortality!
Thank you ma'am for your wise insight. A lot of these comments are alarming@@charlottelisewilliams
I love you Lucy ..yes tell me i want to know 😊, it's just too sad that our society do not care about genuine love
It's not society tho. Perception and reality is one helluva drug. BW in mass are not getting flewed out, they're not gold diggers, they're not living the soft girl life because they're working 2 jobs taking care of their 3 kids while their dusty baby daddies sit at home and play 2k.
So this conversation is a moot point reality speaking. Yall see female rappers or IG models and assume ifs all of society when in reality women are dating, mating and marrying below average men everyday
At first I disagreed but the more you explained the more it made sense
Lucy, what's your understanding of love? You do make some solid points but I don't entirely agree with what you're saying.
Our capital as women is our youth and beauty and men's capital is their money 💰
You think Becky wasn't telling her daughter for generations to marry a man with money? The term "I married well" didn't come from nowhere. Marrying for love is relatively new because marriage is economical. I think BW have a problem moving in silence and when I see us be too loud it puts a target on our backs.
Marriage does not equal love.
Firstly love isn't a simple feeling, it's not something to force and you shouldn't go out your way to get someone to pay attention to you in a certain way. Love isn't like what is portrayed in movies, it's not always romance movies or books.
Lucy is making a clear point, because the mainstream media version of love is a glamorization of limernece, sex work, etc.,
Even dating, to an extent, doesn't even seem like you are fully trying to find love, more like trying to live up to an idea of what love is.
I agree overall, but I also see the flaws in what she’s saying… Men generally put their money where their heart is. Today’s dating takes that concept too far and makes money the focus when it shouldn’t be.
But that doesn’t mean that paying attention to his effort is no longer an effective way to see how a man feels. Flowers, gifts, proper dates, flights/trips make us feel special, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. Anyone can say pretty words. Many of us want to see action, and it’s possible to want that without stepping into SE territory.
And to crown it all it has become normalized.
In between love this hair on you 😍
I know it's out of context but the hair really looks good on you
If you want love, seek out the Lord first
Hi Lucy, U are my roll model.
Where do you come up with these topics cause you are addressing the real topics that people are not willing to talk about nor are they even considered problems.
So you think just because he ain't paying to sleep with you it's not sex work??
Right! There’s other ways to pay for sex. I’ve had men literally buy me dinner then they expect sex afterwards. That’s still transactional if you ask me..
I don’t see how Wanting a man who he is a successful man isn’t sex work . If a woman want One man to love and spoil her , how it that transactional ???
I agree
the difference is commitment
Exactly ❤
Someone finally said it
I used to be a a stripper and it was crazy to me how many other strippers are in denial that stripping is sex work. A lot of women would look down on sex workers but at the same time will purposely go for men for money, but they are in a worse position than sex workers because the sex worker is being paid for her time, and neither of them are actually in love with him. And as a sex worker i would never want that in my personal life. It is not easy work, and it’s physically and emotionally draining. Its better to have love and someone who genuinely cares about you who you can relax and be yourself with and respects you. Sex work is great because it can pay well and you have control over how much you work but that doesn’t benefit you at all if you don’t have a separate personal life that is just yours
The wig is giving Whitney Houston
Just tell me why you won't love Lucy ❤❤
The wig = MARILYN MONROE
I agree, but to be honest, I agree with the girl saying that the guy needs to pay for her transport to the date...I feel it's a safety thing.
I love love love you ❤❤❤❤
ohh they gonna come for you🙃i know how defensive girlies are with this topic. Don't fold because this is so true.
Transactional friendship 😢
What is the glue or oil name pls?
First personnnn🎉
What we call love is simple and it comes with giving not only financial aspect alone even time and trust what you call a sex working is called standard setting with some people and what you call none transactional to some people is called Cheapo we all know what we want and what’s good for us
Can we please please get a new vlog 😢
Hi Lucy.
Thanks for spilling the truth. This type of video is not common these days.
Pertaining to the fact that you have experienced a lot in the dating space, I"m sorry about that sis. May God give you the right man in Jesus mighty name and may you not experience delay in your marital settlement.
I love love love you Lucy.
Thanks for this video, sis
Real
Youre a role model😍🫂
If you actually watch sprinkle sprinkle you would know what she truly talks about.
somebody finally said it.
Honestly, I don’t like discussing this but if truth be told, every relationship we being in is transactional whether for men or women, The men has always being doing it, a man can’t date you without thinking of sex, so why women can’t date men without thinking of financial support or benefits? I think women are now openly doing it, but this has being going on from our grandparents days.
As for me, I don’t question or judge someone if you’re comfortable and benefitting you, gal do you
Didn’t disagree not one bit
You slouched allot in these video
But the video was helpful ❤️
sister, the kind of shege women have experienced ehn.. I don't blame them at all. They want security. They've grown up seeing women in their lives being screwed up by BUMS and they don't want that for themselves
What if the price is marriage since you said the price could be anything
Price could also be the same as condition
Does that mean that wives are also sex workers
But saying this also indirectly calls dowry payment sex work. I see your point but i think you threw this all the way off.
All what u say mostly happened in Africa where poverty mentality is the order of the day.
I tell my friends, that rich man you are looking for is with a woman who was with him when he was struggling.
Forked tongue talk❤ the immediate upload aged poorly ❤
I get that there’s a thing called transactional love. But can you tell us women how we should then date and pick partners or men that want to date us or marry us. Because I know for sure you wouldn’t want to date or marry a loafer or a man that doesn’t have anything to bring to the table. The men have to provide and care for their homes. Its a masculine trait and it has been there years back. It’s just the Modern times that are over exaggerating the entire thing. A man must provide for his family because that’s the way to know he loves his family. The main priority is actually friendship not love because love fades
🤍🤍🤍
So what do you call African bride price? Is that not a price for marriage? 🤔
Black ppl are still using EBIN?
I can in here thinking all relationships are transactional, but a post-date "thank you" fee is new to me. 😂
Thank you sooo much for this video❤️
I had to share after watching half way because a lot of people needs to see this
Thank you for finally saying it
I really appreciate 🫶❤️
If you look at the history and foundation of the relationships between men and women, it has always been transactional in some way shape or form. Men married women for $exual pleasure and for her to give him kids to continue his legacy and women married men so he would financially support her and her offsprings. There is always some exchange between $ex and money between men and women even if it’s indirect. You can be married and still doing $ex work indirectly. And this is how it has always been since the beginning but women are just being more vocal about the monetary aspect on social media but again it’s nothing new. Also men don’t really care about romance, genuinely being a companion and emotions, the ones who seem to do are pretending, so women also started not caring and keeping the same energy. Most men don’t even know how to give org@sms so what is really the benefit of being with men. Most men don’t also help around the house.