Puh Lord thanks 8:44 Fe communication is heaven, I can not tell in words how important this is for me. Also enjoy Te communication, but prefer Fe much.
INFP: feels their own emotions so strongly they sometimes mistake them for other people’s. INFJ: feels other people’s emotions so strongly they sometimes mistake them for their own.
As an INFP, I sometimes get upset when people offer logical solutions to get me out of a funk, because it makes me feel that they're downplaying the depth of my feelings. I have to constantly force myself to remember that someone might really care about me and want me to feel better.
On the flipside, I get annoyed when people spurn or don't accept my logical solutions, because it's my way of showing that I care and want your situation to get better. I'm not well-versed in emotions and thus can't give words of comfort (not effectively, anyway; I've accidentally made people cry harder in the past), but I can try to fix the cause of your distress. I have to remind myself that sometimes people just want someone to validate their feelings. The best I can normally give is an awkward, "That's rough, buddy."
@@angstydoodles1101 My husband was like you. It took us a minute to figure out each other's language. He was just trying to help and I was just wanting my feelings validated.
I'm nominating infp. I cry 3 times a day as a side to each meal. Yet the funny thing is last time anyone (other than me) has seen me cry was in 6th grade. I'm in 11th grade rn.
As an INFP, empathy often puts me in emotionally stressed situations, sometimes i feel like i can "see" everyone. Have you ever looked at a stranger and thought _"im going to smile and be kind to that person today because i feel like she needs it, nobody appreciates what she does but i do"_ and then overthinking the possible negative consequences of it and do nothing... kill me.
im an infp, i feel similarly. sometimes when im doing random things i feel like specific people are judging me and that i should just stop and think about what i did.
If you have the ability to speak or write or communicate, just say so, just ask the person if they wanna hear it so you don't feel guilty ranting, don't say shit like nobody knowing or something, if nobody knows, then say it
@@commanderskip5368 I'm INFP and I actually kind of agree with you lol. If we want others to understand how we feel, the responsibility lies with us to actually communicate that. The main hitch though is that INFPs can feel things with such a high degree of nuance that it's really hard to fully convey everything that we actually feel, so there's an extent to which it wouldn't be possible for others to fully understand. People usually start looking at you like you're crazy if you actually try to get into the nitty gritty details, even if they initially said that they were open to listening (my personal experience on multiple accounts). So for me, I'm fine if another person simply understands when they did something that upset me, even if that understanding only goes to like 20%. I know other INFPs are different, but I'm fine with keeping my personal world to myself as my own private haven to hide in.
I have an INTJ boyfriend this mf is really sensitive 😭 i thought he was mistyped but he did the test like a hundred times and he’s THE stereotype of the intj With his really close friends and his brother he doesnt look emotionless at all that’s probably why i was lost 💀
I'm writting a story of an INTJ beeing the leader of a successful music band with an ENFP And a ENFJ. He seem to be very rude and emotionless, but when the band is over, he's on a huge mental breakdown for some years because he slowly realise how much he feel really alone without his friends.
As an INTJ, I agree with this. I myself am very emotional under my exterior appearance but I choose to keep them to myself and sort of hone them by myself. Because I have a cynical feeling that by telling them to people, they'll just make it worse if they even understand them at all to begin with.
Same! Once i was in a group terapy and it was INSANELY hard for me to share my troubles cause you know, nobody understands my issues better than myself 😵
Married to an INTJ: I also get the sense that they're almost considered too sacred - as if trying to turn them into words and cast them out into the air would debase them? (Thankfully, I can crawl under his skin and feel all of his feelings myself, so his using words is rarely even necessary.) - an ENFJ
@@YellaSpiceFamily wowzers! Exactly what I wanted to hear. Thanks lol how do you go about starting talking about the subject? I know your intuituon is high as ENFJ right? Does he get weired out that you know whats going on without him ecen saying? Hmm...I'd love a snippet of a typical short convo if you would. Much appreciated x
@@user-pk5pl7ox1e Honestly, we usually don't go about talking on this subject at all. It took me a lot of years (we celebrate fifteen years of marriage this summer) to learn the value of less being more in this area, but honestly wording on feels causes him so much stress that it's rarely worth the trade-off. On rare occasions, when it looks like he's truly not able to finish his own processing, I'll contribute my observations - really quickly and concisely, like ripping off a bandaid, finishing with "is that correct?" and expecting no more than a yes or no - and then that little nudge can help him complete his process himself. Since realizing how my Fe-Ni works - it's almost like a kind of ESP, really - I no longer feel left out of his world because he can't communicate about it: I can enter there myself at will, after all, and what I observe can inform how I should change the tenor of a conversation or the activities of a day to accommodate what I see he needs. On those rare occasions where I do need to help him overtly, he always acts a little shellshocked by how much I understand and how fast I can turn his feelings into words, but it always seems to do him a little bit of a violence, too, so I only do it if it's truly necessary. It can be difficult for me to be patient - my method of handling feelings is extremely proactive, I always try to start processing my feelings "ahead of time", and I do think waiting until you're forced to face them is pretty foolhardy - but I do realize that there's a trade-off there with how much he can abandon himself to his love and devotion: when you play your feelings like chess, like I do, you give up the ability to enter that realm so completely. So, I am content with sitting inside of his feelings as an observer, using my Fe to live his reality vicariously.
I'm INFP, husband is INFJ. I found that he's quite emotionally 'needy' and wants validation for his emotions. However, he's quicker to 'get over' things (kinda) and while he can move on after an argument, I'm more like, 'Uhh, no... I'm not ready to dig myself out of this emotional well I've got for myself here.' He wants to talk, I'm more the suffer in silence type. To our credit, we don't play emotional blackmail with each other and drudge up things from the past as ammo.
Ha my bfs are INFPs and same dynamic :) Working on my emotional literacy helped me be way less 'needy.' Learn to stop paying attn to other ppl and focus on me :) I'm sure my INFP friends appreciate it :D
I don’t know your husband, so I could be way, way, way off. As an INFJ myself though, I am the same outwardly, but inwardly it is merely me tamping down the emotion to keep the serenity of the place. I generally care more about keeping the peace and helping those I care about as a part of my empathy, similar to how Fe types tend to focus on others feelings (which is why INFJ’s are sometimes mistaken for our extroverted counterpart). If I were to guess, whatever issue he seems to move on quicker about, it’s probably because he thinks he will stress others out and would rather return to the status quo as a form of caring. The validation is probably making it easier to move on though, so maybe he generally doesn’t feel the anxiety as strongly? Only you would know.
@@fishnewt1331 it's both :) Wanting to smooth things over, but ALSO we definitely don't dwell on emotions as much as INFPs, tho we do dwell ourselves :)
@@fishnewt1331 I think its bc being in touch with others emotions we can see how it all fits together why things happen as they do, so you have peace and move on
@@emp9413: Too true. I mean, if we dwell on the emotion, it would simply stress us out and if we stress ourselves out, we cycle that it into the atmosphere onto other people. Then we just end up making ourselves feel worse because we just put that emotion on another person, knowing how terrible it makes us feel.
INTP's seem to bottle up emotions the same way INFP's do, but INFP's listen to and give in to their emotions, where INTP's don't want anything to do with them.
I relate to this so much. As an INTP if someone else doesn't reaffirm my feelings as making sense I don't think they are valid. It's easy to forget the power of inferior Fe over INTP emotions.
True. I have this thing where I wouldn’t mind telling someone how I feel and I would actually love to but because I’m feeling a specific way DEEPLY I can’t seem to describe how I’m feeling properly to that person. I want to make sure they understands me but that doesn’t work at all cause I don’t even know wtf this feeling is. So I’d either just say “fuck it” or reflect on it myself.
This is why I like paying psychics and tarot readers. I want someone to pick at my brain without me having to explain myself, I need help understanding what's going on
Fi is a lot more similar to Ti than people realise. It's not just mapping emotions, it's connecting them to values, to interests, to relationships, to philosophy, theology etc. It takes the facts into account as well. It's literally scientifically analysing things from all angles in order to come up with the best solution - just like Ti does. Only difference (regarding this perfect solution): the focus lies more on the values (values are much more important than feelings to introverted feelers!) and feelings involved in the decision than the plain logic of it. Also: the most important feeling of the Fi-user is whether or not something feels 'right'. I'm kind of tired of this narrative of the INFP thinking about their emotions all the time. We're deeply rational thinkers as well, and being called emotional is near an insult to me (I feel like I'm not being taken seriously with the arguments I bring to the table if I'm just the 'emotional' one. No, my main focus is not what I feel, my main focus is what is right!)
The feeling functions are incorrectly labeled as being the emotion functions, but they are in fact the value functions more accurately. Emotions may have somewhat of a correlation to values, however correlation does not equal causation. This often leads Fi dominant types to think they are actually Ti dominant and conversely, it can lead Ti dominant types to think they are Fi dominant.
Thank you! This narrative can get really annoying sometimes 😅 like no, I don’t spend all day sitting in my feelings or following the next emotional whim. I will place values before feelings most of the time and I will even fight my emotions sometimes to follow my values instead. Also Infps aren’t always so focused on how they feel that they can’t empathize with others or gauge what others are feeling or how they’re reacting. In fact, sometimes I can be so worried about how others feel that I forget how I feel or I push it aside so I can be a better listener/friend.
@@ellygriffith4094 exactly. I am terrified of saying something I know will hurt someone's feelings. It's a hard decision - sometimes these things need to be said for the greater good (like someone behaving rudely again and again without even realising, or someone with constantly bad breath who doesn't know about it). Either way, I do focus a lot on how things make others feel. I've also heard this definition which I quite like: that Fe-users are great empaths who seem to "feel" other people's moods, whereas Fi-users are 'sympaths' if you will, who have to mature an grow in order to get a more universal picture of what makes people what way, but once they're mature enough, they can place themselves in their footsteps so perfectly that they can analyse their feelings and where they come from better than a Fe-user normally could. I've heard about INFPs that we're also great at manipulating moods - for better or for worse. Once we're confident enough with ourselves, we know exactly what to say or do to, for example, come down people who are about to fight, or comfort someone who is sad. I thought this was brilliant - almost a superpower - so I told my mum about it. She was like, "honey, I need no MBTI to know that you can do that". Turns out I have been using this "superpower" all my life - as a kid, I knew just what to say to make my brother so furious he'd snap (granted, that's generally a talent of little sisters, isn't it?). On the good side, I, often a little awkwardly, tend to know what to change the topic to in order to comfort someone. I have been working on improving that ever since. Actually, come to think of it: ESFPs have the same superpower (probably all strong Fi-users), just with a slightly different angle. They know how to make people have fun. My point: we don't just map values and feelings to understand ourselves, but also to understand others.
As an INTP, this video captured my experiences with emotion so accurately. My inferior Fe makes it very difficult to understand my emotions, especially when my Ti decides they aren't logical. This actually causes me to talk about my emotions more than some of my Fi dom and aux friends because I need them to validate how I feel. My INFP friend actually talks about her emotions the least of our friends. Kinda scary how accurate this video was...
Cant relate lol. I do like to analyse and logic out my feelings but i do not talk about them. Unless I’m monologuing in my room. Not to mention, I dont even use logic to try and change my emotions to what’s socially right, i just like to analyse it and compare it cuz it’s fun. Then after i figure it out i just ignore it. Like, i genuinely don’t care if the emotion isn’t ‘correct’. All that matters is that they dont get in the way of what I’m doing. - also intp
Emotions what are those. - Me a INTP what I always ask my self is why i never feel emotions except for sad when I am overtaking my rejection from society and how no one loves me. If I had emotions then I would have cried at my grandparents funerals and when any of my cats die but I don't . Just recently I talked to some one about a war they thought it was wrong and messed up I ask how so because it is logical that you go to war if you want more land for your country and its illogical to care who dies but all they were doing is considering how the families of the soldiers would feel when the casualty reports come in
@@Notchjrgaming1269 I definitely fall into this category sometimes, I also didn’t cry at my grandparents funeral and I’m called out for being insensitive a lot. But for me, this just makes it even harder to understand emotions without talking about them.
I'm an INFP and I don't usually talk about my feelings with others because, in the past, I haven't gotten the help or support I was looking for when I did try to open up. I either came off too strong to others or they dismissed the problem as "being in my head". And yes they were sometimes right that, logically, my issue was based on a gut feeling rather than something that's been proven but I can't just turn it off on a whim. The only way to get through it is to think about it over and over until I can prove it true or false. And I hate doing that. It's exhausting and stressful and I so often want to open up to someone to bounce ideas off them but I know I can't because they don't want to just listen, they want to solve the problem for me and that never works. This why it took me so long to finally see a therapist, I got so used to fixing everything myself I figured there was nothing they could say that I hadn't thought already. Let me tell ya, "It sounded better in my head" has a whole new meaning to me now.
As an ISFP I have to admit that getting stuck in Fi is so hard. It's so unbelievably overwhelming I feel like no one could possibly understand, even if I tried to explain it.
It’s ok… I’m Infp and a good friend on mine is isfp. She’s all bottled up with her emotions. I think if you can learn in healthy ways to express yourself even in artist endeavors or writing you’ll make some great strides 🥰💞💟 It’s ok to feel it 😘
Great video! As an INFP this is very recognizable. It isn't just that I want to process my emotions before I talk to anyone about what I'm feeling, it is also that the language to describe what I'm feeling doesn't seem to exist, making it very complicated to explain what I feel exactly
Wow, yes. As an INTJ, I cry over incidents in books in seclusion but I've never been sensitive to day-to-day emotions. I have brutally deep emotions about books, movies and TV series but I keep them in check too. As a result my friends never tell me about their problems because they think I have the emotional capacity of a bug. Win-win anyway 🙂
I'm an INFP and I agreed when you said we won't change our feelings for you, but we won't tell you that. What's funny is a lot of people seem to think I'm spacey and that I don't feel very much. What people don't know is I feel incredibly deeply and I will not make an important decision until I'm positive it's the right thing for me. But most people don't know that, because I don't want to overwhelm others with my deep thoughts lol. People have no idea how complex my inner world is.
yes that! i come of as extremelly apathetic and spacey to most people, because i overthink everything and fear what's going to happen if i express myself wrongly. so in the end i do nothing and take part in nothing :D
I'm not sure with other INTJs but I personally don't express my emotions because it would put me in a vulnerable situation. I had a bad experience in childhood where someone took mental notes on my emotional expressions towards certain things and used it to guilt trip or manipulate me. There was also a time when I was younger where my mother would force me to open up so she could "help" with my problem, but once I do, I tend be such a mess since all the emotions are just pouring out, it also doesn't help that my mother would then trample on my emotions making me feel bad for ever feeling those things in the first place. Which is why fast forward to today in my early 20s, I tend to keep multiple layers of doors that are guarding my emotions and feelings. I'll definitely express happiness and joy, but the more vulnerable emotions like anger and sadness, I keep them to myself. I only ever am open to expressing them to someone once I trust them enough, that they're a good humam being who won't take advantage of me.
Infp- I’m wayy too overwhelmed to the point that I don’t know exactly how I perceive things. No one understands and it’s so difficult. It’s to the point where I imagine my dream life where I don’t suffer-
When we're overwhelmed we all feel that way. We only feel alone but we all experience it :) but our experiences are also uniquely ours. I'd suggest get in touch with your emotions and listen to them. They're perfectly natural just giving you signals to guide you to safety. Best of luck! - INFJ
I found writing to be a REALLY good avvenue for me to explore and express my feelings. After my brother passed away, I just full swing went into poetry, and while some of it may be a bit dark, it helped to get it on paper. I did take a break from writing for a little bit due to some severe personal problems, but I have recently gotten back into it, and it honestly still helps. I am able to work through my emotions better. I am still learning how to handle my emotions, hahahahaha, but I think I am getting better at it the more I recognize triggers and listen to myself.
the vomiting thing 😭 I'm an INFJ and I ALWAYS think sharing feelings is so important for the comfort of everyone else (ironic now that I learned it can make people LESS comfortable 😭 lmao what have I been doing) I just think that if I share my most embarrassing or shameful feeling, I'm going to make people feel better about theirs and maybe they are going to feel safe to share which is going to make us ALL feel okay because we're just humans after all. like it doesn't even matter if they share it or not. All I want is that just in case someone is feeling bad about how they're feeling, they'll feel okay about it.
infj here too, yes, sadly, the world is full of selfish people, and they have a lot of growing up to do. This is why working on finding good friends is a good thing to do, but even then, not everyone is like us, sometimes they feel like your emotions are adding to their own, much like someone asking you to do some in town shopping when you already have a busy day planned.
Mildly happy is my mood all the time, with bursts of extreme happiness every now and then when I ”get” something complicated and fully understand it or if I’m creative or solve a problem. Also other people’s happiness makes me happy. So I’m on the happiness spectrum pretty much all the time.
I have only three moods: Anxious, Bored, Passionate(rarely), I mostly prefer being bored tbh, during bored mostly there's just the constant trying to find something interesting to do/experiment, which could just be my ADHD, idk, ~INTP
That is just being emotionally illiterate. I'm INFJ and spent most of my life that way, with vague negative emotions boiling under the surface. Get in touch with them and you'll feel more and will be more regulated. Just signals to lead you to safety. But they become numb and erratic if you don't use them.
hey frank! i have some ideas for future videos: 16 personalities in their wedding 16 personalities interacting with their extroverted type for example, INTJ interacting with ENTJ 16 personalities interacting with their ideal type, for example, ISTP interacting with ESTJ or ENTJ 16 personalities as superheroes and super villains, like the hero is one type and the villain is its opposite type. for example ESTP is the villain so INFJ would be the hero 16 personalities watching anime 16 personalities playing minecraft 16 personalities interacting with each other on discord 16 personalities as spies idk how good or bad these are, but they sound like they'll be fun to watch
He has some of those, or parts of them, up. He has the 16 personalities as brides and as villains. He also has the types interacting with their opposite just in regular settings, as well as the introverted and extroverted equivalents interacting. I like the idea of the personalities as spies; surely some would crash and burn.
As an ISTP, I don't understand my emotions. When my grandfather died, my mom was crying but I was getting aggravated by her crying. Yes, I was sad over him dying, but I didn't know how to control it. I try my best to avoid anyone getting emotional because it's so awkward for me
I'm ISTP and similar thing happened to me except I was laughing at my mom crying, I didn't want to because I felt upset about what happened but I just couldn't stop laughing and I still worry that I'll do it again
I wonder if this is less an ISTP thing and more a male ISTP thing. Boys already are conditioned to suppress their emotions, so adding inferior Fe to that isn't helping. Whereas I as a female ISTP never really had to. I think women understand emotions better than men on average because we have spent more time talking about them with others. Like I understand emotions just fine. I just prioritize logical thinking and reason ahead most of the time.
@@b.1162i think that both an ISTP male and female would feel emotion similarly(like for every type) it's just that thinking female types are much rarer than female feeling types
That INFP struggle with getting "stuck" in emotions and normal interventions like "hey buddy let's talk this out!" not working is frustrating because I always wanna help. I wonder if there could be a video in "What do the 16 personalities need the most in a friend?"
INFJ with INFP friends and i figured out how to get them to talk. Can't push. More sharing similar experiences and subsequent feelings (they get that anyways so don't expect it ;) and leading by example.
I don't know how much this could help since I don't represent all infps but here's how it works when I get stuck on emotions : Like you said, if I'm not talking about my feelings, then I definitely don't need or want to. I got a good grasp on how my emotions work. When I'm not okay, I know it's just a phase and it will go away eventually ; it doesn't even make me panic anymore, I just wait for it to go away, fall alone in my little spirals of thoughts and feelings until I'm suddenly out of it. I guess nothing can be done, but if I'm seeing friends I do like it when they distract me with normal everyday discussions and jokes. I also feel very grateful for any kind of "I'm there if you need me" line, despite the fact that I'd actually rather deal with it alone. Just having the knowledge that I have support is enough :)
Sometimes, the person needs to recognize they need help and want help before you can really help them. INFPs do get pretty stuck in their emotions to the point where they believe nobody else will understand or can help. But I can personally attest, we CAN reach out for help. And usually after the first time we ask for help, it becomes a bit easier to keep asking. I was very lucky to have a good friend who heard my cry for help and he literally talked with me through what I was experiencing for a good while and then after our talk, promised to check in from time to time (and he actually did). Because of that one incident, I find it easier to seek help, and it is actually easier to talk about my emotions and recognize when I am in danger of becoming stuck. I wouldn't know the first thing about giving advice on how to get your friend to talk, but I can say that if can truly promise to be there for them if they need it and actually be able to follow up with that promise, it can really make an INFP feel loved and cared about and like they aren't alone.
Boston Terrier INFP speaking here. The best way you can help is to let us be for a day or two but if we seem stuck for too long, you can try what E MP does.
As an INTJ psychiatrist, I am always aware of other people’s feelings but the majority of the time I just don’t care. The most important thing is what you do with with your feelings; one needs to decide how their feelings motivate them to behave in specific ways and if they want to change those behaviors.
Why does it matter what you do if your feelings don't matter. If you didn't have any feelings everything would be completely neutral. Hell and heaven would be the exact same thing if you didn't have feelings. Like if feelings didn't matter it wouldn't make any difference if life was completely random. Like if you imagine how important it is for the events in life to happen a certain way, on some level feelings and states of mind have to be involved for you to even place value on anything ever happening any type of way. I can't tell you how many people think they don't care about feelings and then they go drink, or get high... to feel ok.
@@mulkytool Nobody said feelings don't matter... of course they matter as internal drivers of people and in the way they color our experience of life. But in an external, objective sense, our actions matter more and are what we should be primarily judged by. As an INFP, I'd much rather have people judge my actions than my feelings. It's okay to feel whatever we feel, but it's not always okay (or ideal) to do whatever we feel like doing.
Being an INFJ, I always love to talk people through their feelings. I feel privileged when they come to me to talk about their emotions especially if it's one on one but when it comes to my own feelings, I feel so lost. It's like I don't even have feelings to begin with, though I'm very well aware that it's so not true. Or maybe it is because INFJs are so focused on others' feelings that they tend to avoid elephant in the room i.e their own feelings. But how come someone who can feel deeply for others, doesn't even know a thing about how to put their own emotions into words? What kind of cruel joke is this that I can understand people even better than they do themselves but know nothing about my ownself? I mean I know when I'm happy or sad but sometimes I can't pinpoint where these emotions are coming from. Sometimes I will just brush them away and other times I will spend days processing them till the point that my head hurts. Sometimes I question myself and live in fear that I will never know what I need from life and other times I'm so sure of it but question my capability to actually get it for myself.
Omg, I know exactly how you feel. I was just diagnosed with depression symptoms as an INFJ and I knew something was off for a couple weeks but couldn’t put it into words. Once it was defined, it felt like I had been bottling up my emotions and they all came out at once. I still can’t understand this or many of my emotions currently. 🤷♀️ It’s also been harder recently to help others with their emotions, but I still feel their emotions so I don’t know the difference between their emotions and mine. I also make myself feel things that I don’t have to feel by making up scenarios in my head. Aaaaa!
Personally, I feel like Ni messes me up. Every emotion is filtered through a system of abstract information that enters through the subconscious and forms spider webs of concepts, so you can't always know where its from. Writing about it helps to figure that out. And just like Fi users are rigid with their emotions, Ni users have an undying belief in their Ni perceptions. So while dom Fe users have simpler emotions than Fi users, if you have Ni first it is a bit more complicated.
Thank you for writing this comment! I just posted a similar one, and then came across yours. I feel the same way. If someone describes their emotions to me, I take on those emotions, and can easily identify them, but if someone asks me how I feel about something I can’t answer. I do understand my very basic emotions, though much like you I don’t know why I feel like that, and it’s very frustrating. I have had a strong emotion lately that I don’t understand, and it seems I have spent almost all of my time analyzing it. I still don’t understand and this has been going on for a few months now. It does seem unfair, and I wish I could figure out why I’m like this. I just want you to know that you’re not alone, and I hope everyone dealing with this can find clarity in their feelings.
@@mhw4955 I can totally relate. I have been like this since last year. I won't say I'm depressed depressed but kind of somewhere along the lines. For the lack of better word, I feel numb. And though I have some inkling about the reasons behind my unstable emotions and desperately want to make a change, I just don't know how. Nothing is working.I feel like my life is not in my control and everything takes so much effort on my part. This has surely affected my confidence and social skills because currently I feel like I can't even help myself let alone others. I find it easier to get lost in my own head and think about impossible scenarios, though I know it's not healthy. But then again, when you feel like whole world is running at 200km/h and you are on zero, and fear of being left behind clogs your air passage, you turn to something familiar yet dangerous.
@@sabikakhaliq It’s really crazy how we’re feeling the same things. I’ve basically sunk myself into my hobbies, but I have been trying to revisit other things that made me happy a while ago.
Yep, as an INFP, that's why I got to “hibernate” for an entire day, minimum, upto weeks or months. To hibernate is to cut myself from social connections and activities, and cherish the me-time. To explore what I could “hypothetically” be doing to get through my feelings. Feelings that you can't just pass around. Because you got your wall up to your sides and your back, that you can only either move or not move your soles. You gotta contemplate about drawing, writing, acting out or just generally expressing your feelings. But you won't necessarily act on them. Rather, you just try and find books to read or films to watch that could help you deeply understand what you're feeling. Which may or may not include thinking about the causes of those extreme feelings. And then, when I come out of my nest and re-socialize, will just summarize to people what just happened in the entirety of the period I'm gone, to conclude the extensive emotional journey. My small but deeply cherished circle of friends have been used to this cycle. They don't go wild looking for me anymore as much compared to when they first “adopted” me. --- Edit: I want to equally express my feedback to this vid from observing my INFJ, INTP and ENFP friends, but at this point, Ne kicked in so wildly. I wrote too much and got invested with my feelings that I got too lazy about writing them anymore. Typing those few paragraphs above have drained my energy more than I expected it to be. 🥴😂
@@lenula1 Thank you! It took a lot of organizing and compressing those messy thoughts I just mentioned. I used to hibernate for months before. Longest period was about an on-and-off 3 years (because still needed to interact at school for reasons). And because of school and constant need to regroup for class activities, I got to learn how to effectively tackle my feelings bit-by-bit so I can reduce the processing within a full-long day. Sundays became my default hibernation days and I successfully convinced people to not contact me unless emergencies. I hope you regularly do get your cherished winter-long hibernation period though. Sounds like you have a lot of things to take in each time. Are you the type to save things for later then unpack them all at once? Seems kinda convenient to do everything at once rather than a frequent repeating cycle.
this ia so relatable!! I'm actually having trouble getting out of it tbh. I tried a few times to get back, just by giving small steps but my small circle of friends just left me alone almost since the beginning and I don't see they have any interest in reconnecting with me again so I don't even know if it's worth it at this point.
Thank's for sharing and explanation! INFP also. Hibernation is excelent!!! 👍🏻word for this kind of withdrawing, I'm doing it regularry, understand completely what you mean. I say "I'm in the hole" but it's a kind place 😉"
enfj here (chronic depression and other mental illness). Its kinda tricky personality-wise grappling between “what is my emotions” and “what is the emotions i read on others” when everything (especially my own) emotion-wise is so dulled. Honestly y depression has gotten me more introverted reads on some certain personality tests, although I know im still an extrovert. Anyhow, great vid!
It's really hard to separate it from yourself when you've had it so long. i have chronic depression as well (dysthemia) and I'm sure it's always effected my results. I get the same thing every time, though. Guess I should believe it :P
I know an INTJ, and it's definitely true. My first interactions with him gave me the vibe that he doesn't seem emotional, but as time passed, I definitely saw layers of emotion under the surface, and eventually, he did share some of it, and they were a lot deeper than you would expect from someone who's always talking logic and practicality and such. This was a really accurate video XD --INFP
I’m an ENFP (bordering on I) with ADHD and sometimes I feel like I’m the most emotional human on the planet. My emotions are extremely deep and I share them with everyone all of the time. 😂
@@Brothisisprivate ENTP/ADHD here - How are you with emotions.. I volcano them in very rare but unstopable tsunamis which i never learned how to control since it started not long ago. So scared (kinda) i am Satan/SherlockHolmes combo 99% of the time(not the best person for most out there). Dark empath even when i sleep and suddenly ... feelings. Excuse my English please!
@@ivaylotsankov7292 Dont worry i’m french ;) Hum when i was a teen i was a volcano too. Every little thing could make me BOIL. When i was happy i acted euphorically, when i was angry i was a dragon, when i was sad i was a fountain… there was NO control at all with my emotion.. When i was 16 i did something extremely smart, i deleted all my social medias (who was the best place to be uncontrollable), and spend all this lost time were i was scrolling on instagram to read, watching movies or meditate … it really helped me canalising my emotions, and gain confidence and trust in myself ! Now i think i’m more like a healthy version of Fleabag or Nadia in Russian doll haha 😭
As an INFP, I actually also try to guess how other people feel based on how I perceive myself when I am feeling a certain way. Like if I see someone staring into space on the verge of crying(exaggeration of course, it’s usually more subtle than this), I assume something tragic happened to them. I usually get it right, and so it is kind of beneficial to feel that deeply. I can’t comfort them of course because I will often begin feeling the emotion they’re feeling, so I usually provide a course of action since I’ve been through it myself, but i find it very strange when people say that INFPs don’t care about what other people are feeling or aren’t aware of them. Maybe it’s a contextual thing?
I think it might indeed be contextual. I'm INTP and have a close INFP relative. It's not that she never imagines or cares about what anyone else is feeling and has no empathy. She can be very empathetic and feel pain on other people's behalf when she's observing as a third party. She even has a lot of empathy for fictional characters. However, when she is feeling something strongly for herself about a conflict that she's directly involved in, she can no longer empathize with anyone else and see their perspectives in the moment. She is actually shockingly selfish and callous in those situations. She's also the least self-aware person in our family (the ISFPs can be emotional and spontaneous but are also grounded in reality and self-aware). She still thinks of herself as a very caring person--even a martyr!--at times when she's actually completely disregarding everyone else's explicitly stated needs and desires and making everything about what she thinks she needs. It takes her a while to be able to get out of her own feelings and be able to compromise with people on anything big. Then if someone else or random life events hurt you, she'll be outraged and caring on your behalf again.
The other thing I notice is low situational awareness and ability to read the room. She has very good manners with strangers for the most part and is considerate in some ways but really socially blind in others that even an INTP can tell. In stores, she's that person who will stop dead in the middle of an aisle to check her grocery list or look for something in her purse and not even notice that she's blocking people until someone says something. Then she'll get embarrassed, apologize and move because she isn't actually a jerk who doesn't care about inconveniencing other people; she just was too stuck in her head to notice her impact on other people. She pays little attention to facial expressions and body language sometimes. If you're busy working on something, she'll walk into the room and just start talking to you. If you're playing a video on your phone and she comes into the room, she'll just start talking right over it as if she didn't notice it. If she's boring you to tears, she rarely notices that you're not even trying to pretend you're interested. I kid you not, I have had earbuds in with music playing for an entire 30-minute car ride while she was talking to me and didn't even realize that I couldn't hear a word she said. I know that not all INFPs act exactly alike, but all the INFPs I've known have shared that lack of ability to easily read the vibe of a room and pay attention to other people's movements around them to some degree.
@@sarahr3076 yeaaahhh that's me (an INFP) though to be fair I have inattentive ADHD, which of course makes me more prone to mind wandering and being situationally unaware. I've definitely missed very "obvious" stuff going on around me and was accidentally rude. I will also say that with the previous comment, that applies to me to some degree too. I am definitely selfish. I am aggressively self-centered. Everything I do is because of myself and my feelings/values. I like to understand other people and their feelings for the sake of understanding my own, which is why I am into psychology. I am nice and generous because I want to live by my values. I've created standards for myself that I strive to reach, and if I don't I feel shitty. One example is I always bring a bunch of food to a party/get together, even if I am already late I will stop by the store and get something to bring. I do know that with my boyfriend, he says that my ability to be empathetic with him is a hit or miss. I either really get it and know what exactly to do or I am lost and don't really know how to respond.
as an INFJ, i’m extremely emotional and spurt out my emotions accidentally to literally anyone who listens, i feel so deeply but i always shift my emotions based on how everyone else is acting. if everyone’s happy, i’ll be happy too, if the mood is sadder then i’ll shift in to that mod. my emotions aren’t private to me, i need people to understand me and know me and love me. it may be unhealthy, but it’s just how i am. like i don’t feel i have any right to be angry or hate anyone because other people don’t hate said person. it’s really conflicting never knowing if it’s my authentic emotions or the emotions everybody else wants me to feel. i’m very open about my life and my trauma and it does probably make people feel awkward, but it’s because i want to create a comforting environment for others to be able to vent to me. i wear my emotions on my sleeve before i’m even aware i’m feeling that way. i mean i also have anxiety and probably depression according to my therapist, but idk
My mother's an INFP and if she feels like she has to focus on something she won't see or hear anything else. Must be her Fi. People who don't know her if ever come across this side of hers they think she's faking it but it's actually completely true and even I find it unbelievable sometimes. She's like a tap flowing with her emotions and as an INFJ I'm more like a sponge absorbing emotions.
my mother is also an infp and I'm the infj daughter. you really described our relationship and her state of being to a T! also agree with Frank that we are more 'shallow' as we go through various emotions while infp are more 'narrow' and intensely stuck with their emotions
@@starrysouffle Yes, I understand her best she said so once when I asked her if she felt understood when around me because I wanted to figure a better way to interact and make progress in our relation. I used to wonder why she gave kind of mysterious vibes despite being such an open book and being confident in her own feelings and ideals. Seeing this I understood that what she shows is only the tip of the ice berg. I'm happy she confides in me, she doesn't let anyone see her emotions and doesn't let other's emotions effect the way she feels simply because it isn't her thing. I think she's quite cool.
As an INTJ, I was a bit surprised to not find our staring at the wall, wearing black, unemotionally voiced selves considered least emotional. And it was very nice to have a deeper explanation of Fe. Though as someone who is Fi-Te, I still have trouble even grasping the concept of an inappropriate emotion. It isn't the emotion that is wrong. You feel what you feel. It is what you DO about that emotion that matters. And its here that the Te cuts in with manners and culturally appropriate moves and consideration of what is just being more important than what I personally feel, etc. If you can just go "Oh, that's inappropriate" and stop feeling that way, then was the emotion even real and honest? I also found the standard "Does not notice what others are feeling" line amusing, because often the truth is that I'm actually pretty good at realizing what people are feeling (can't manipulate them otherwise, as INTJs are known to do) . The thing is, I may not care. I realize this sounds cold, so I'm going to try to put it into a better context. The lynch mob is riled up and looking for someone to blame and I think the right thing to do is give sanctuary to the accused? I don't care what they feel. I don't care that they're probably going to kill me to get at someone else. I'm going to do what I believe is right, and if group think is to hate me for it, then fine. I do not care.
@Perseus Georgiadis Oh, I definitely agree that I feel things (though I was willing to accept that title of least emotional given all the bad press -- and I'm just as fine without it). And having had to basically write an algorithm for other people's possible emotions and reactions, I will agree with Ni-Te being good compensation for it. I'd argue, perhaps, that I don't have commonsense, or at least that's what my ISTJ mother says. I think Intuitive types end up with uncommon sense by the measures of the rest of the world, and that's part of the problem, but that's a wholly different and broader discussion. I might very well, given time and money, go buy food for the crackhead's family. I'm more likely to give to a larger charitable cause, but I have given food to people on the streets on occasion. This provides for need without feeding the addiction directly (I can't help if other people give them money and they spend it on crack, but maybe by giving food the innocent child gets some).
I’m an ENFP and my FiTe was resonating when I read this post. This entire thread is eerily similar to my personal stance on the matter. The thing about Ne is that I’d struggle between giving the crackhead money or food, trying to work out the best solution in this situation and coming up with more choices than I need. I might leave them be, then come home, overthink, feel bad, then come back with food and find them gone, and then worry about the children - what kind of life will they have? If I had done it sooner, maybe I could’ve made a difference?
@@miahan8988 I won't say that I always feed the homeless people I come across. I've got things to do, sadly, so that I don't become one of them. But in terms of what best to give them, if you suspect addiction, then food is best. They might try to sell the food, but it's generally not worth it, so they'll most likely eat it. If you give them money, they'll use it to feed their addiction because they're addicted. And if you're wrong about the addiction, then you'll still have given them something to eat, solving their problem. Easiest thing is if they're near a general store (like Target) or a grocery store, or a fast food restaurant, so you can just nip in and get food. I knew a woman who was a very devoted Christian, and part of her living that aspect of her life is that she'd just keep packets of food on her in case she came across a beggar. I am not that nice, but if you find yourself feeling guilty about it, you could always just keep a couple packets of Handi-snacks or plantain crisps (for the health conscious) on you. Also makes for an emergency food supply for yourself. This, of course, supposes you have a purse, backpack, or briefcase to store things in.
Thank you for this, I have a lot of trouble with FE users, how can an emotion be wrong, you feel them and act or move on, there is not right or wrong -INFP
As an INFP I can easily say I’m very emotional but I contain it. I feel so much which makes me exhausted sometimes. What has really helped me is sometimes taking a CBD gummy once a day. Not everyday, because it seems to affect my thyroid a bit BUT it REALLY helps with not taking things personally and actually detaching from so much emotion. It’s kinda glorious because for a short while you get to experience things like everyone else 😂 not as deeply. I’ve noticed it also helps me enjoy music a lot 🥰
As an ENFP, I can totally tell you even though Fi is second on my function stack, that deep narrow hole Frank speaks of is real! My Ne is usually going: "Dude, you're hanging down there too long, let's go do something!"
I am an ISTP so i don't really understand emotions. After 5 years of knowing each other my INFP friend one day started talking about his feelings and boy... i was shocked, i didn't know what to say, i tried to approach it logically but i ended up just listening to what he had to say, it was like an explosion that lasted like an hour full of what was inside of his mind. That's the only time he has done something like that and i hope he didn't feel bad because of me not understanding him.
As an INFP, I always hate it when they say that INFPs are unaware of other people's emotions or don't care about them. It makes us sound like we're self-centered and lack empathy. I've encountered that being in tune with your emotions actually helps you understand other people better. Not by thinking how you'd feel in their situation, but rather understanding how emotions can be different for everyone on a personal level. We can listen to their personal experience and build upon that. Because we are different people and we do feel differently. As Fi dominants who are often misunderstood, we get it, we get you. We just feel like people don't get us. Our emotions seem to stray from the spectrum they work with and we're often disregarded for that as merely hypersensitive people who should work on themselves.
Yeah I don't get this either. I'm one of the most empathetic people I know because I can put myself in other people's shoes and understand why they feel the way they feel, and I can imagine how I would feel if I were in their situation. And even if I wouldn't feel the way they feel, I can still validate their feelings and understand that they've experienced different life events than me and come from a different background. Everyone's pain is valid, and I hate when people rank pain/suffering. Someone always has it worse than you, but it doesn't change the fact that you feel terrible and that life is really hard. Comparing to other people is unhelpful in my opinion. My best friend is an INFJ, but I'm way more empathetic than she is. By a long shot. I love her, but man she can be downright rude to people she is annoyed with in a way that I've never been able to be. And those people definitely warranted being put in their place, but I don't think I could ever stand up for myself the way she can lol. I don't want to hurt people's feelings!
I agree with you (fellow INFP). I think people also misunderstand that we need to process our emotions first so that when we open up about them, they are solid enough ideas and have substance. Personally, I feel the most volatile when I don’t understand my emotions bc then I snap at other people for trying to pry my feelings out. And yes I get in my head too much. Yes, I need assistance on how I should act on my feelings when I get stuck like a healthy person should. But at least I try to consider different perspectives and different emotions I WOULD feel in certain situations. Then, I think about how someone else might feel the same way. Then I wonder…. Isn’t that the meaning of empathy? Understanding how an emotion applies to oneself and when others feel that same or similar way, you actually FEEL it (depth wise) for yourself as well? So yea… it irks me when people say that we don’t consider other people’s feelings even though… that is considered a typical strength for INFPs as well? Am I misunderstanding that? Food for thought. Also… preface I am human and this is a continuous perfecting process of understanding myself and also trying to understand others.
I don't mean to change the flow of conversation, but I do understand that fi doms people are just as empathetic as fe. Empathy is an uncomfortably vague name that can be twisted to fit each person's reality. For FP types, might feel more serious empathy, because they take most things to their core. FJ's understand trust and feelings logically, they are experts at twisting their own feelings for harmony. TP's are intelligent empathy users, and Fe simply helps them navigate their logic freely. TJ's seem more measurable empathy for a realistic future, but that makes me, an intj, somewhat cold and steamrolling emotions as I go.
@@sinkbacteria7749 That's interesting that you would describe yourself as cold. My husband is an INTJ and he is so warm and loving and deeply passionate. He just doesn't show that side of himself to people that he doesn't trust.... so basically just me lol. And he also doesn't let his emotions dictate his actions or interfere with his goals. Fortunately, one of his goals is to have a beautiful and healthy marriage, so steamrolling my emotions would be counter to that goal hahahaha
I’m ENFP and I find when I get very emotional, I’m in my own head a lot, think scenarios over and over again, and try to strategize and structure what I’m gonna say, how to say it. Those are the times I’ve probably ever made any kind of plan and went through with it.😂 When I’m angry with someone, I find I do better showing a solution through my actions instead of speaking with them because I hate confrontation, and because I don’t want to completely break down in gibberish in front of the person, I want to communicate clearly and calmly when I’m ready. I just wish it wasn’t as long as it usually takes for me to get a grip.😅 I also realized now as I’ve grown up, that a full day apart from the person I’m mad at, is enough time to dissipate the anger.
Haha omg yes. I usually dont face those really hurtful things friends do cause so much time goes by before im actually calm enough to express it without being a hot mess 😂 and the thinking and planning what i will say just ends up causing insomnia rather than being productive and coming to fruition...ever. i just end up distancing from friends who keep treating me unacceptably cause i justify that if ive been hurt that deeply a few times by the same person, and my trust has been damaged, they probably arent the right kind of person for me to be friends with and arent gonna change overnight just cause I said "you hurt me". 🤷♀️ If its a really healthy important relationship i will eventually say something but its one if the hardest things i can think of and i always ugly cry during.😂
I'm an ISTJ, and I find that, with Te and Fi so close together (but just barely preferring Te), I'm at war with myself a lot. I have very intense emotions and a strong need to feel them, yet I keep THINKING that I shouldn't feel that way (especially in the case of negative/harmful emotions, like anger). It's like my Te and Fi are pulling my psyche in different directions, and sometimes I feel like it's on the brink of being ripped apart
I know an ISTJ and this is one of the most fitting descriptions about my experience with said person. It feels like a constant war and I often see very emotional behaviors in stress situations which let me wonder, if said ISTJ was really an ISTJ. But learning about the functions and your post here feel like solving the riddle (slowly) more and more
Si is a pretty chill function, as well as Fi. The need to stay calm is strong. I have Fi second and Si last, and my first function is determined to see all sides to something (Ne), so it doesn’t really react with anger, just malleable, analytical curiosity. Add 9w1 to it and you get a chill turtle. Maybe you’re also a 9?
I read this one debate where Introverted feelers and extroverted feelers were calling each other selfish and fake respectively. I think it doesn't matter if your own feeling is the only thing that affects you or you get overwhelmed by other people's emotion, I think what matters is that the feeling authentically affects you in that time space and how you process it. I envy INFJs on so many levels and I think we can learn so much from them. Which is also why I think INFJ and INFP friendships usually have that balance of learning from each other. We are so opposite but we are so same.
And that's why you don't see us ISFP's on the internet all that much and our reddit is dead most of the time, we're pretty focused on ourselves and don't really share our thoughts very often (I don't know about other ISFP's, but when I write a comment I'm like 'Why do I even struggle writing this, no one cares anyway' and delete everything I wrote and I kinda feel the urge to do this right now but oh well today I feel like going against myself, deal with it me)
I'm an INFP and when you talked about Fi, I've never felt more understood. Everything is just so true! It's like a sign of trust when I talk to someone about my feelings, but it's always that I need to understand it first. I think about my feelings a lot and I write them down in a poetic way and I draw. When you're lucky I might tell you about it but only if I want to. It's confusing.
I'm an ISFP and you're right. My Fi is extremely dominant that I feel overwhelmed by almost everything, like human relationships, socializing because I'm too stuck in my emotions processing them, constantly working on them to survive. I realized I isolate myself a lot because of it.
In a INFP & INFJ relationship. It gets interesting and intense trying to understand where we are coming from and coming out with it in the first place. But I think these opposing ways have helped both of us grow so much as individuals. I love it 😀 Thanks for the video Frank 👍👏
Hiii .. I just wanna say thank you Frank for bringing MBTI personality type to my life .. after I found my personality type it really helped me to grow as a person.. it really helped me understand myself and also understand others .. and reacting in situations.. so thank you your videos really helped me .. thank you so much ...
Ah, the INFP life. Where our reality is just too darn emotional, so we sink into the fantasy world, only to make it just as emotional. Like, you'd think I would make my fantasies be sunshine and roses, but no, I gotta make 'em cloudy with possible hints of rainbows.
I'm an INFJ therapist, and I absolutely know I was called to help people process their feelings, which I can viscerally FEEL. I can contain my own, but it's like strumming a chord, and the harmonic vibrates when I recognize the feeling. But then I HAVE to process my own stuff to someone and never feel heard or understood. I am constantly thinking, "Am I rambling? Are they getting bored? I need to not talk so much and make sure they feel heard, I don't want to be selfish and make it all about me." But if I try to do this, especially with my E friends or family, my stuff gets pushed away and I end up doing therapy for the other person. It becomes all about them. I feel like a jerk even saying all this, but I just want to be heard out so I can understand my own feelings and be real about what it says about me as a person. It can be very lonely.
As an ISFP it is pretty difficult to share my negative emotions. When I'm really down bad I have to write it out. Though it's difficult to explain it to someone else when I'm writing I'm explaining to myself. It helps to realize what's really going on. Putting the words on paper makes it feel real and if it's not real I don't want to write it down. And if I write it anyway I'll cross it out.✌
Right, sometime you have to sit with the emotion alone until you become 'friends' with it. Until you feel more confident thst you know truly what this feeling is to you! - INFP
As an emotional intj I will have to let my excessive amounts of personal feelings out every once in a while, but only sometimes would do it at an inappropriate time like enfps often do. I'm very private about my feelings and yet am very aware of them and actually don't mind sharing them sometimes. And when I feel, I feel very very deeply. Goodluck to whoever would then unfortunately have to listen to me describing my feelings for the next 3 hrs
I relate to this! When I’m ready to share my feelings, I know I have them figured out and at that point I’ve felt them enough to explain them without expressing them, if that makes sense. And me choosing to share them is for the purpose of connecting with another person, not to actually feel them. But if people don’t take my word for what I’m sharing, they might not believe that I felt them as deeply as I did -a fellow emotional intj
@@aubreys1675 people can usually tell I'm I'm emotional person if and when I decide to share my feelings. I share my feelings usually to let them out or to get emotional validation from my friends so we can relate to stuff and feel stuff together
But sometimes I can describe all my feelings very well, but if ide already processed them I can sound very unemotional or unaffected when describing them
Kd Cadenza yes, I think the inconsistency in words and other things while describing my feelings isn’t a big deal for people who are open to hearing them. It’s only been an issue when someone doesn’t want to hear what I have to say, which is more about them than about how I describe them
My two closest friends are INTJ. And as a INFP, I must say that I really love INTJs emotional depth and rationality. Sometimes we talking and listening each other for hours, literally. I'm a safe space for them and they are the same for me. Precious combo (when healthy) ♥︎
As a person with both INFP and INFJ traits, I think I'm quite a lot more emotional than I'd like to be 😅 Btw, I'm in love with you and your channel 😍 You're always so funny and accurate. Love and care from Spain 😘
I'm a 40ish ESFJ and have worked hard to master the emotional vomit. My big struggle now is my unwillingness you share my thoughts. I'm on a couple of public committees and I'm internally enraged but staying cool every.single.time it's my turn to share my thoughts on a topic. How I feel about topics often doesn't match what I think about them. Also guilty of never telling anyone what I actually think in my personal life. Working on integrating that. Great video, FJ
Hello, fellow ESFJ! I am currently trying to master the emotional vomit. My husband takes the brunt of that, but as an INTJ, he helps balance me out pretty well. I'm not aware whether or not I share my thoughts... definitely not with people who aren't in my inner circle, but as part of me processing my emotions... I tend to share a lot of my thoughts with those in my inner circle. As long as my current conflict doesn't involve them. 🤣
I almost never manage to find other ENFJs here and I think it's not because we aren't watching, but because we usually like to just read and observe everything without publicly adding our input - writing this comment now is super uncharacteristic haha. I really enjoy the more mbti nerd-ish videos about the functions and I think it's great that they are becoming more known, beyond the 16p website. Although I don't always agree with the ENFJ portrayals, I do commend you for your work and great videos! :)
I'm an ENFJ, and I LOVED how you broke this down. Yes. And I also appreciated how you tied in how Ti works in with this. I definitely feel I am very in tune with my Ti even if it is not my strongest, and that notion of "How am I ~supposed~ to feel?" is very resonating. I also appreciate the clarification that as an Fe user, we often know what is appropriate and what is not. So, therefore, we won't just vomit emotions on people if we foresee it rubbing them the wrong way (which is part of Fe--knowing how it will affect others).
INFP here. "...emotions are their jam..." Yup, and they never stop. Having to process first...yup, it never stops. It takes way too long...yup, and it never stops. I do tend to care about others' feelings, but let's chalk that up to being an empath which also never stops. It did come in super handy when I had an ENFJ boss with a need to talk his life out. Not going to change how I feel for other people...couldn't if I wanted to and I don't anyway. Never telling you how I really feel (unless it's deemed necessary)...yup. Having to get out of it on my own...yup. Not always seeing a way out...thank God for meds and therapy. Robert...Plant. Nicely done...all of it, but especially the botanical name.
The other day was a perfect example of how I don’t process my emotions before. I mean I’m not exposing all the time I used to more until I found you but honestly if I hadn’t said what I had things wouldn’t be as good as they are becoming I needed to be honest and let this person know how I truly felt si it all worked out in the end! This can go the other way too sometimes I get an overwhelming feeling of joy or gratitude or just any powtoive emporium it really just depends! I love this video! Thank you for all the advise you always give it truly helps me tremendously!
As an INTP I feel like I am two persons when I feel/don’t feel emotions. I am much more attuned to interests/fun/belief than emotions/values, though the former probably come across as “feelings” to other people.
It's hard to come by descriptions of Fi that are not caricaturish and misleading. Here's some clarifications. 1. Fi has nothing to do with whether or not you care about other people's feelings. Many Fi types care deeply about other people's feelings and well-being. But their identity and personal choices will always primarily be driven from within, they'll always be clear on their own independent feelings about things, and they'll be choosy about who or what they're willing to be influenced by. 2. If you do get really stuck in your own feelings, then yes, sometimes, it can create a bit of tunnel vision and make you a bit oblivious to the world and people around you. This is more likely to happen with young people who are intensely focused on their Fi self-development or unhealthy people who have a lot of mess inside to work through (ideally - the worst-case scenario is not working through it but just endlessly dwelling unconstructively). 3. Getting stuck in a feeling for a long time is not inevitable. Mainly, we just want to let ourselves feel whatever we feel, fully process our feelings, and give things time to evolve naturally. This doesn't always take long. 4. There are many cases where Fi types will change emotional states more easily than Fe types. The propensity of many Fi types for acting is an obvious example of that. It's more that Fe feelings are more easily swayed by the external social environment and Fi feelings are changed more through internal calibration. But even for Fi types, if there's something in our environment that speaks to us or moves us, that can sometimes have a quick emotional impact! 5. The deep emotional awareness and processing that high Fi types do is very foundational for mental health. Many people have to be taught those skills in therapy. The same goes for having a strong sense of self, having an intrinsic (rather than extrinsic) sense of self-worth, and having healthy boundaries between ourselves and others while still being very capable of empathy and meaningful connections. Theoretically, we have the raw materials to be some of the most mentally healthy people. But it all depends on how constructively we use them.
Thank you so much for this video, Frank. I'm an INFP and my roommate is an INFJ and I've tried explaining my emotional thought process to her a few times but could never say it in a way that made her understand that just because I don't talk out my feelings like she does doesn't mean I'm silently suffering, I'm just processing it in my own way. She had multiple epiphanies watching this about me as well as the way she processes her own emotions. So much covered in so little time, and still entertaining, honestly, perfection.
as an esfp (with burnout/mild depression) i always think about what i feel and about what others think of me, but i never show my real emotions. the thing is that i feel like most of my friends wouldn't care or would be bored if i don't show my goofy and funny personality and instead talk about my deep iceberg of feelings. so yeah everything is spot on
My sister is an INFP and I’m an INFJ. I never knew what the difference was until today. The way you described the INFP and INFJ is exactly like me and my sister! Now I understand why I so often ‘emotion vomit’ in front of my family and why my sister bottles everything up and doesn’t tell anyone. Thank you! This was so helpful!!!
I'm a mix of ISFP & INFP I *never* *ever* express my feelings to someone who I feel isn't going to understand my feelings exactly the way I do. If I ever decide to be vulnerable infront of someone and i don't get the desired reaction I get offended and shut myself off from that person. In matters of love I get obsessed by guys who show a lot of interest in me even after a while they ghost me......until i find a new suitor 😂 then I've moved on completely
I (ENFP) have an ESFJ mom and an ENFJ dad and can confirm everything Frank said. My parents are more emotional than me (behavioural-wise) and my dad can be pretty hot-headed. And because they’re both judgers, they want to know about everything I do and don’t do, and everything about what others do and don’t do and should’ve done. They are also prone to criticising others even if they really care about people.
One of my favorites from you so far - such a nice explanation! If people ask me about Fi/Fe, I’ll just send them this video. Also, thanks for pointing out that INTJs aren’t emotionless evil masterminds 😄
Stuck Ni here. Great explanation, thank you Also: Fe-Ti-connection: Sometimes when I am emotionally in a bad place for some stuff, I stop, think and tell myself: "so, you have felt bad enough. Stop it." And it works.
As an ENFP, you hit the nail right on the head and helped me actually understand what those letters meant. Being completely honest, I always thought they were some sort of element on the periodic table 😭
Lmao at first too. That's why I didn't bother learning cognitive functions. I was like nahh some other time, this seems confusing. But then I come back to Mbti always anyways and now I've managed to learn what they actually are.
Frank, you are a natural teacher. I can see you being a college professor. Anyway, I am an infj and I feel like I swim in a warm pond of thoughts and emotions constantly. I don't think anyone would ever understand me so, I'm constantly trying to figure out how to help myself. Enough time goes by and I have not resolved my feelings especially if I'm traumatized, it will all come flowing out. It could be an avalanche, an earthquake, unceasing lava spewing all over everything and everyone. And, the only relief I get is the fact that I finally let go of something I've been holding onto for a long long time. Immediately I feel guilty and ashamed because I'm here to serve other people. Not to worry about myself. Take care, Frank James. Sincerely, Carly💙💙💙
I totally get what you mean... Our Ni is like a fuzzy nebulous cloud of thoughts and feelings, all swirling in our head and CONSTANTLY asking ourselves big questions (about ideal self and ideal world) that probably will take more than a lifetime to answer. At times, our Ni will explode with colorful insights and bright ideas and we trust our Ni and go with our guts. At other times, the self doubt is on a whole new level of torturous hell (that's the Ni-Ti loop) and we get stuck and can't move forward. It's a love-hate relationship with our dominant Ni and at times it feels like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders. Just know that there are other INFJs (and INTJ) who experience similar things... Its assuring to know you are not alone...
This is such a great video. I love the way deep concepts were explained with simplicity. As an INFP, I definitely understand why it can be said we are highly emotional. However, a lot of INFPs are highly aware of how the people around them are feeling. Not all INFPs, of course, but a lot of us are. It's to the point that it can be emotionally draining. We're dealing with our own deep feelings while overanalyzing the feelings of those around us.
Yeah, everyone feels emotions its just that thinking types tend to not aknowledge it and take it into account as much as feeling types, i think this video is about display rather than intensity, so feelers are obviously more relevant
Oh hey, same! My sister is an infj and I'm an infp. We definitely understand each other well since it's easier to talk to each other about stuff and we can understand the emotions behind it.
Thank you! I think INTJs get stereotyped as the cold and logical types, when in fact I do feel my emotions pretty intensely. Great content, keep it coming!
“If an INFP gets depressed you can’t pull them out of it, they have to figure out how to get out of there on their own”. I felt targeted now. Never heard something so true before in my life. I had depression for years and it just started getting better when I took the initiative myself. I was a young girl and even if my mom brought me to therapy I simply refused to say anything or do anything. I thought “why does this stranger get to do with my emotion? Get away”. In the end I was the only one able to make myself better (on the talking and thinking part of course, I still needed meds).
as INFP i can tell you, if you'll really want to fight you depression, it will not so hard to show your emotions to other people people(at least family or close friends). And yes, they definetly can help you with that, even if they will not do everything for you, by communication with them it will be much easier to find out how to bring back interest in life again)
There's all sorts of different explanations as to how the functions, including Fe and Fi, work. It's all very interesting. :) Personally, I simply believe Fe and Fi are judging functions. They're ways to make decisions. And they're linked to _values_ rather than emotion. How emotional someone is is would be something outside of MBTI. For example, there can be very emotional ESTJs. Someone can be emotional _and_ have a heavy preference of making logical decisions with their Te (so, with consideration mostly on what the group/society shows as making sense). Likewise, I believe that someone can also have a strong preference for acting upon their own values (Fi), and not be a very emotional person (*stereotypically* Ti/Te). Or even, someone can have a strong preference for acting upon the values of society (Fe), and be an emotional person who prefers to deal with their problems alone (stereotypically Fi OR Fe depending on who you ask) Though, even the stereotypes are different from person to person, so I'll address that. Some people think that "being an emotional person who prefers to deal with their problems alone" is Fe, as they believe people with Fe prefer to display emotions according to the group, whereas people with Fi display their authentic emotions (so they pretty much deal with their emotions with other people instead of hiding them like they believe Fe users do). So, it's clear that the "emotions" attachment to the types is very subjective. Depending on the person, Fi can mean either "authenticity with your emotions, nearly 'showing them off'" or "hiding your emotions, as you prefer to just deal with them alone". Fe can mean either "being very expressive with your own emotions" or "being very expressive but it's the emotions that seem to be expected for the group/situation (so often hiding your own emotions to do that)". So, the more expressive type depends on who you ask, because people can vary a lot in their ideas on how MBTI type affects emotions. Which is why I'd rather avoid that aspect and just focus on the core of the judging functions being decision makers. That, and I _might_ be an emotional ISTJ who thinks they're INFP due to stereotypes ("ISTJs aren't supposed to feel emotions" and stuff). :)
Thank you for this! As an infp I tend to act more on values than feelings, and those two can actually conflict sometimes because I don’t place that much value on emotions as I do on doing or believing what’s right. Also, istj’s can be emotional or have emotions too. All humans can lol! I have a family member who is an istj and she definitely has feelings. I think people fail to see the emotional, loving, sensitive side of istj’s and wonderful kind, considerate, and loyal people they are.
Me being an INTJ-A female dealing with 2 INFJ men and an ISFP man is the reason I watched this lmao! I need to know what I’m dealing with and how to proceed accordingly.
No one can help me out of my depression. " You have to figure it out on your own"..but I can't help myself and thats going on for 2yrs now making no progress. It feels like I have to learn to live with it. All that just because of who I am. - INFP
I'm an ISTP with not only a lack of an acutely emotional response to anything, but also a lack of facial muscle flexibility, so, basically, I had the exact same face on my 18th birthday and on the day my cat died. It's strange having the same facial expressions for what was intended to be a smile and a frown, but it hasn't made emotional communication any more difficult for me, because, well, I'm an ISTP. It's in character for me to never smile or frown.
Totally know right, people who partially know me might be surprised seeing me well actually be normal... I'm really careless but many think I'm the serious-type cuz I am unreactive at most times...
I used to think that I don't like to go to the "emotions land" because it makes me feel weak, and I really didn't have the luxury of being weak or vulnerable for legitimate reasons ( I'm not gonna overshare). It never occurred to me that this is because of some personality type, which makes a lot of sense when I look at it now. But that was in the past. But I still wonder if this is my real functions or a rule I was forced to play? Anyway, sometimes I think it doesn't matter anymore because I'm already working on my personal growth for years now, without putting any personality type or zodiac sign or whatever suggestion in my head. I saw what I can't do and where I'm not functioning very well, and worked on it ( and it's more than just emotions), still working though. Thank you, Frank. It's always pleasure to join your classes. Keep that white board, and keep Robert hydrated, he's giving a good vibe to the room.
Feeling in the Myers brigs is'nt really only about emotions Frank. This is where you get mistyped, I'm an INFP. And, I try to suppress my emotions when I start using logic when logic disagrees with my feelings. The two has to agree with each other for a green light. This is why I usually know what I don't want than what I want.
I'm an INTP and although we are the least emotional personality type the Fi explanation was very relatable to me and I do get stuck on my feelings but that is because I'm having a major issue with my life. But still I sometimes wonder if I'm actually an INFP and I'm thinking if I should take the test again but I don't want to do it because I got attached to the INTP personaily type which just makes me wonder even more if I'm an INFP and the loop goes on and on
The tricky thing about the Fe and Fi is how one can masquerade as the other. An Fe user may love to help others discover their values and selves, and an Fi user (like myself, an ENFP) may deeply value making others go through all the crazy emotions to make them feel happy, and I love how you explained the feeling as mining- sometimes deep, sometimes shallow, but downward nonetheless. This video also helped explain why my ESFP sister and I get along so well. We're both Fi-aux, so we're both fairly balanced in our Fi and Te, and we each value how the other one values.
ENFP here, emotions are so complicated lol Sometimes I have random bursts of just feeling SOMETHING and it makes me unable to fuction for days because I'm so caught up in it (Usually triggered by series/books I really enjoy, some especially intense ones were after Banana Fish and Song of Achilles). Then other times again I'm just chilling without experiencing any specific feelings. What you said about making our decisions with our emotions but not telling anyone really made me think, but I think it's true. When I need to make decisions I often already lean into one specific direction, but kinda suppress that feeling and try to think about the best solution instead. If I can't come up with good arguments to support my decision I'll most likely drop it again, although coming up with good arguments is usually not hard...
I really loved this format of deep diving into the dichotomies, it made the info easier to understand and provided a solid foundation. I didn't feel overwhelmed by a ton of details. Thanks Professor! 🍎 I miss the premieres, but I understand that you have your reasons. Thanks for the education! 👍❤
As an INFP with possible autism (haven’t tested yet), I actually like when people explain things to me. Even in a logical way, makes me feel better. It’s probably because I like to learn. And since I like to learn, I feel about thinking, if that makes sense. I love to think logically through things all the time. And I mean love, because I feel about thinking. That’s why I really didn’t know which personality type I would have. But once I thought about it, I love to think. Which means I feel about thinking.
My ISTP friend wanted me(INFJ) to be 'direct' about my emotions as he wasn't able to get what exactly I was feeling- and I was like I'm feeling so much at a single moment that it seems impulsively validating myself through you:''') I hope he is okay now XD
I am and INFP and is very very difficult to face life crisis. Now I am a bit more aware I guess but like it took me four years to get over a person .-. No matter what my friends would tell me, or even what tought: "maybe for others this will be weird", nothing stopped me from digging into my emotional responses of that single day and it took me way too much time lol. What you said about depression is also true, is the processing of the emotions is what kept me going on this for so long. Personally I think that if I never worried about what people would think about me I would have done the job way faster 🤣🤣.
i have been in such turmoil over this for the past few weeks about introverted vs extraverted feeling and i convinced myself that i was an infp but i definitely have more extraverted feeling!! thank you so much for this frank, this put my mind at ease. you explain things so well also that makes so much more sense to my brain. im shocked i just found out that other people dont think to themselves whether their feelings are correct for a certain situation :O
Thanks for watching! Check out the whole 16 Personalities edutainment series: czcams.com/play/PLXSEPM58cSUy54rxsST4eVRDbK726MJCA.html
ok
Puh Lord thanks 8:44 Fe communication is heaven, I can not tell in words how important this is for me. Also enjoy Te communication, but prefer Fe much.
Nice job on this edutainment, FJ 🙂. Very helpful with understanding Fe and Fi 👍 ( also hope you gave Robert some water 😎)
I love the word "edutainment"
So the Fe might be the reason of that gmail question recently? Looking how people would react to such moments happening in general?
INFP: feels their own emotions so strongly they sometimes mistake them for other people’s. INFJ: feels other people’s emotions so strongly they sometimes mistake them for their own.
Spot on
I concur!
Love your comment.
Wow! That's a great insight!☺️
CRAP! Ain't that the truth.
As an INFP, I sometimes get upset when people offer logical solutions to get me out of a funk, because it makes me feel that they're downplaying the depth of my feelings. I have to constantly force myself to remember that someone might really care about me and want me to feel better.
Try CBD gummy. It really helps process those big emotions for INFP 🥰😘 I’m infp I know exactly what you’re talking about !!
On the flipside, I get annoyed when people spurn or don't accept my logical solutions, because it's my way of showing that I care and want your situation to get better. I'm not well-versed in emotions and thus can't give words of comfort (not effectively, anyway; I've accidentally made people cry harder in the past), but I can try to fix the cause of your distress. I have to remind myself that sometimes people just want someone to validate their feelings. The best I can normally give is an awkward, "That's rough, buddy."
Gosh! I thought I'm the only one who gets this same feeling. Hugs hugs! INFP-T here!
@@angstydoodles1101 My husband was like you. It took us a minute to figure out each other's language. He was just trying to help and I was just wanting my feelings validated.
saaaaame that's an inferior Te moment for us
as an infp i’m already betting it’s me 💀
Ha! Definitely not true at all! *nervous sweating*
ENFP... I have a feeling we're pretty close behind you lol
INFJ here, I bet you're wrong-- ×-×;;
I'm nominating infp. I cry 3 times a day as a side to each meal. Yet the funny thing is last time anyone (other than me) has seen me cry was in 6th grade. I'm in 11th grade rn.
@@purp1whale468 that fun thing is most of the people think that we don't cry or cry very rarely
As an INFP, empathy often puts me in emotionally stressed situations, sometimes i feel like i can "see" everyone. Have you ever looked at a stranger and thought _"im going to smile and be kind to that person today because i feel like she needs it, nobody appreciates what she does but i do"_ and then overthinking the possible negative consequences of it and do nothing... kill me.
im an infp, i feel similarly.
sometimes when im doing random things i feel like specific people are judging me and that i should just stop and think about what i did.
Yeah i can completely relate to "seeing people" how they are or could really be . It's like you catch a spark of their soul .
😂😂😂😂 uhg, INFPish
As a fellow INFP I feel called out by this so hardcore 😅🤣
Do we all infp share the same brain or something? 😂
Ugh worst part about being an INFP is feeling everything but nobody knowing so they never know how much they hurt you.
Sigh...thirded...(ik it's not a thing)
true af
If you have the ability to speak or write or communicate, just say so, just ask the person if they wanna hear it so you don't feel guilty ranting, don't say shit like nobody knowing or something, if nobody knows, then say it
@@commanderskip5368 I'm INFP and I actually kind of agree with you lol. If we want others to understand how we feel, the responsibility lies with us to actually communicate that. The main hitch though is that INFPs can feel things with such a high degree of nuance that it's really hard to fully convey everything that we actually feel, so there's an extent to which it wouldn't be possible for others to fully understand. People usually start looking at you like you're crazy if you actually try to get into the nitty gritty details, even if they initially said that they were open to listening (my personal experience on multiple accounts).
So for me, I'm fine if another person simply understands when they did something that upset me, even if that understanding only goes to like 20%. I know other INFPs are different, but I'm fine with keeping my personal world to myself as my own private haven to hide in.
sometimes it destroys my trust and or friendships
Fi: when you use selfcontrol until you explode.
Fe: when you can't stop talking until you regret what you said.
That is so true!
Soool true as an ENFP 😭
Very true, I ignore the bullying over and over until I just blow up at everyone.
True. Enfps struggle so hard with that 😭
Can you be 50/50? If so that’s me.
Finally someone broke the "emotionless" INTJ myth! I felt so misunderstood 😭
I have an INTJ boyfriend this mf is really sensitive 😭 i thought he was mistyped but he did the test like a hundred times and he’s THE stereotype of the intj
With his really close friends and his brother he doesnt look emotionless at all that’s probably why i was lost 💀
I'm writting a story of an INTJ beeing the leader of a successful music band with an ENFP And a ENFJ. He seem to be very rude and emotionless, but when the band is over, he's on a huge mental breakdown for some years because he slowly realise how much he feel really alone without his friends.
I always thought INTJs were really emotional.... They just express it in a way it looks like logical presentation...
everyone chill! ALL HUMANS HAVE EMOTIONS, THATS A FRICKIN FACT-
Y'all have Fi...
As an INTJ, I agree with this. I myself am very emotional under my exterior appearance but I choose to keep them to myself and sort of hone
them by myself. Because I have a cynical feeling that by telling them to people, they'll just make it worse if they even understand them at all to begin with.
Same! Once i was in a group terapy and it was INSANELY hard for me to share my troubles cause you know, nobody understands my issues better than myself 😵
Try an ENFP/ENFJ. Trust me, we understand
Married to an INTJ: I also get the sense that they're almost considered too sacred - as if trying to turn them into words and cast them out into the air would debase them? (Thankfully, I can crawl under his skin and feel all of his feelings myself, so his using words is rarely even necessary.) - an ENFJ
@@YellaSpiceFamily wowzers! Exactly what I wanted to hear. Thanks lol how do you go about starting talking about the subject? I know your intuituon is high as ENFJ right? Does he get weired out that you know whats going on without him ecen saying? Hmm...I'd love a snippet of a typical short convo if you would. Much appreciated x
@@user-pk5pl7ox1e Honestly, we usually don't go about talking on this subject at all. It took me a lot of years (we celebrate fifteen years of marriage this summer) to learn the value of less being more in this area, but honestly wording on feels causes him so much stress that it's rarely worth the trade-off. On rare occasions, when it looks like he's truly not able to finish his own processing, I'll contribute my observations - really quickly and concisely, like ripping off a bandaid, finishing with "is that correct?" and expecting no more than a yes or no - and then that little nudge can help him complete his process himself. Since realizing how my Fe-Ni works - it's almost like a kind of ESP, really - I no longer feel left out of his world because he can't communicate about it: I can enter there myself at will, after all, and what I observe can inform how I should change the tenor of a conversation or the activities of a day to accommodate what I see he needs. On those rare occasions where I do need to help him overtly, he always acts a little shellshocked by how much I understand and how fast I can turn his feelings into words, but it always seems to do him a little bit of a violence, too, so I only do it if it's truly necessary. It can be difficult for me to be patient - my method of handling feelings is extremely proactive, I always try to start processing my feelings "ahead of time", and I do think waiting until you're forced to face them is pretty foolhardy - but I do realize that there's a trade-off there with how much he can abandon himself to his love and devotion: when you play your feelings like chess, like I do, you give up the ability to enter that realm so completely. So, I am content with sitting inside of his feelings as an observer, using my Fe to live his reality vicariously.
I'm INFP, husband is INFJ. I found that he's quite emotionally 'needy' and wants validation for his emotions. However, he's quicker to 'get over' things (kinda) and while he can move on after an argument, I'm more like, 'Uhh, no... I'm not ready to dig myself out of this emotional well I've got for myself here.' He wants to talk, I'm more the suffer in silence type. To our credit, we don't play emotional blackmail with each other and drudge up things from the past as ammo.
Ha my bfs are INFPs and same dynamic :) Working on my emotional literacy helped me be way less 'needy.' Learn to stop paying attn to other ppl and focus on me :) I'm sure my INFP friends appreciate it :D
I don’t know your husband, so I could be way, way, way off.
As an INFJ myself though, I am the same outwardly, but inwardly it is merely me tamping down the emotion to keep the serenity of the place. I generally care more about keeping the peace and helping those I care about as a part of my empathy, similar to how Fe types tend to focus on others feelings (which is why INFJ’s are sometimes mistaken for our extroverted counterpart).
If I were to guess, whatever issue he seems to move on quicker about, it’s probably because he thinks he will stress others out and would rather return to the status quo as a form of caring. The validation is probably making it easier to move on though, so maybe he generally doesn’t feel the anxiety as strongly? Only you would know.
@@fishnewt1331 it's both :) Wanting to smooth things over, but ALSO we definitely don't dwell on emotions as much as INFPs, tho we do dwell ourselves :)
@@fishnewt1331 I think its bc being in touch with others emotions we can see how it all fits together why things happen as they do, so you have peace and move on
@@emp9413: Too true. I mean, if we dwell on the emotion, it would simply stress us out and if we stress ourselves out, we cycle that it into the atmosphere onto other people. Then we just end up making ourselves feel worse because we just put that emotion on another person, knowing how terrible it makes us feel.
"These feelings don't make sense, I have to stop/change this." Basically this throughout my entire life. - INTP
im an INTP too, I never understood feelings
INTP's seem to bottle up emotions the same way INFP's do, but INFP's listen to and give in to their emotions, where INTP's don't want anything to do with them.
yes, but intps understand the other people and are so empatic
I relate to this so much. As an INTP if someone else doesn't reaffirm my feelings as making sense I don't think they are valid. It's easy to forget the power of inferior Fe over INTP emotions.
Bruh the number of times I've thought "can someone just tell me what I'm supposed to feel so that I can get this over with?"
I'm an INFP and sometimes i wish someone could just get inside of my head to fully understand my feelings, as i often can't even describe them myself
Yeah sometimes I feel like why ppl don't care for me as much as I care then I realized no one will feel as much as we feel for ourselves coz of Fi :)
Mood
-fellow infp
True. I have this thing where I wouldn’t mind telling someone how I feel and I would actually love to but because I’m feeling a specific way DEEPLY I can’t seem to describe how I’m feeling properly to that person. I want to make sure they understands me but that doesn’t work at all cause I don’t even know wtf this feeling is. So I’d either just say “fuck it” or reflect on it myself.
What are your relationships like with INTJs and INFJs?
This is why I like paying psychics and tarot readers. I want someone to pick at my brain without me having to explain myself, I need help understanding what's going on
Fi is a lot more similar to Ti than people realise. It's not just mapping emotions, it's connecting them to values, to interests, to relationships, to philosophy, theology etc. It takes the facts into account as well. It's literally scientifically analysing things from all angles in order to come up with the best solution - just like Ti does. Only difference (regarding this perfect solution): the focus lies more on the values (values are much more important than feelings to introverted feelers!) and feelings involved in the decision than the plain logic of it.
Also: the most important feeling of the Fi-user is whether or not something feels 'right'.
I'm kind of tired of this narrative of the INFP thinking about their emotions all the time. We're deeply rational thinkers as well, and being called emotional is near an insult to me (I feel like I'm not being taken seriously with the arguments I bring to the table if I'm just the 'emotional' one. No, my main focus is not what I feel, my main focus is what is right!)
The feeling functions are incorrectly labeled as being the emotion functions, but they are in fact the value functions more accurately. Emotions may have somewhat of a correlation to values, however correlation does not equal causation. This often leads Fi dominant types to think they are actually Ti dominant and conversely, it can lead Ti dominant types to think they are Fi dominant.
This is probably why many INTPs vibe well with INFPs, just like me and my best friend. I think I have a soft spot for INFPs.
- INTP.
Thank you! This narrative can get really annoying sometimes 😅 like no, I don’t spend all day sitting in my feelings or following the next emotional whim. I will place values before feelings most of the time and I will even fight my emotions sometimes to follow my values instead. Also Infps aren’t always so focused on how they feel that they can’t empathize with others or gauge what others are feeling or how they’re reacting. In fact, sometimes I can be so worried about how others feel that I forget how I feel or I push it aside so I can be a better listener/friend.
@@ellygriffith4094 exactly. I am terrified of saying something I know will hurt someone's feelings. It's a hard decision - sometimes these things need to be said for the greater good (like someone behaving rudely again and again without even realising, or someone with constantly bad breath who doesn't know about it).
Either way, I do focus a lot on how things make others feel. I've also heard this definition which I quite like: that Fe-users are great empaths who seem to "feel" other people's moods, whereas Fi-users are 'sympaths' if you will, who have to mature an grow in order to get a more universal picture of what makes people what way, but once they're mature enough, they can place themselves in their footsteps so perfectly that they can analyse their feelings and where they come from better than a Fe-user normally could.
I've heard about INFPs that we're also great at manipulating moods - for better or for worse. Once we're confident enough with ourselves, we know exactly what to say or do to, for example, come down people who are about to fight, or comfort someone who is sad.
I thought this was brilliant - almost a superpower - so I told my mum about it. She was like, "honey, I need no MBTI to know that you can do that". Turns out I have been using this "superpower" all my life - as a kid, I knew just what to say to make my brother so furious he'd snap (granted, that's generally a talent of little sisters, isn't it?). On the good side, I, often a little awkwardly, tend to know what to change the topic to in order to comfort someone. I have been working on improving that ever since.
Actually, come to think of it: ESFPs have the same superpower (probably all strong Fi-users), just with a slightly different angle. They know how to make people have fun.
My point: we don't just map values and feelings to understand ourselves, but also to understand others.
I'm an INTP but second this.
As an INTP, this video captured my experiences with emotion so accurately. My inferior Fe makes it very difficult to understand my emotions, especially when my Ti decides they aren't logical. This actually causes me to talk about my emotions more than some of my Fi dom and aux friends because I need them to validate how I feel. My INFP friend actually talks about her emotions the least of our friends. Kinda scary how accurate this video was...
That's so true. My boyfriend INTP is more open to talks about his own emotions more than I do as an INFP
Cant relate lol. I do like to analyse and logic out my feelings but i do not talk about them. Unless I’m monologuing in my room.
Not to mention, I dont even use logic to try and change my emotions to what’s socially right, i just like to analyse it and compare it cuz it’s fun. Then after i figure it out i just ignore it. Like, i genuinely don’t care if the emotion isn’t ‘correct’. All that matters is that they dont get in the way of what I’m doing.
- also intp
Emotions what are those. - Me a INTP
what I always ask my self is why i never feel emotions except for sad when I am overtaking my rejection from society and how no one loves me.
If I had emotions then I would have cried at my grandparents funerals and when any of my cats die but I don't . Just recently I talked to some one about a war they thought it was wrong and messed up I ask how so because it is logical that you go to war if you want more land for your country and its illogical to care who dies but all they were doing is considering how the families of the soldiers would feel when the casualty reports come in
@@Notchjrgaming1269 I definitely fall into this category sometimes, I also didn’t cry at my grandparents funeral and I’m called out for being insensitive a lot. But for me, this just makes it even harder to understand emotions without talking about them.
I'm an INFP and I don't usually talk about my feelings with others because, in the past, I haven't gotten the help or support I was looking for when I did try to open up. I either came off too strong to others or they dismissed the problem as "being in my head". And yes they were sometimes right that, logically, my issue was based on a gut feeling rather than something that's been proven but I can't just turn it off on a whim. The only way to get through it is to think about it over and over until I can prove it true or false. And I hate doing that. It's exhausting and stressful and I so often want to open up to someone to bounce ideas off them but I know I can't because they don't want to just listen, they want to solve the problem for me and that never works. This why it took me so long to finally see a therapist, I got so used to fixing everything myself I figured there was nothing they could say that I hadn't thought already. Let me tell ya, "It sounded better in my head" has a whole new meaning to me now.
As an ISFP I have to admit that getting stuck in Fi is so hard. It's so unbelievably overwhelming I feel like no one could possibly understand, even if I tried to explain it.
Same!!!!!
It’s ok… I’m Infp and a good friend on mine is isfp. She’s all bottled up with her emotions. I think if you can learn in healthy ways to express yourself even in artist endeavors or writing you’ll make some great strides 🥰💞💟 It’s ok to feel it 😘
@@KatErina-ii6ru does writing and stuff like art actually help as an emotional outlet? I’ve never tried so might have to give it a go
@@offsetsface2135 Yeah, give it a try. It works for me too (an infp)
@@offsetsface2135 it does, it might take some testing to figure out what works for you though
Great video! As an INFP this is very recognizable. It isn't just that I want to process my emotions before I talk to anyone about what I'm feeling, it is also that the language to describe what I'm feeling doesn't seem to exist, making it very complicated to explain what I feel exactly
Yessss exactly
Exactly
Exactly and additionally we know that most others can never truly comprehend our feelings because they have never experienced dominant Fi 😅
Wow, yes. As an INTJ, I cry over incidents in books in seclusion but I've never been sensitive to day-to-day emotions. I have brutally deep emotions about books, movies and TV series but I keep them in check too. As a result my friends never tell me about their problems because they think I have the emotional capacity of a bug. Win-win anyway 🙂
I'm an INFP and I agreed when you said we won't change our feelings for you, but we won't tell you that. What's funny is a lot of people seem to think I'm spacey and that I don't feel very much. What people don't know is I feel incredibly deeply and I will not make an important decision until I'm positive it's the right thing for me. But most people don't know that, because I don't want to overwhelm others with my deep thoughts lol. People have no idea how complex my inner world is.
yes that! i come of as extremelly apathetic and spacey to most people, because i overthink everything and fear what's going to happen if i express myself wrongly. so in the end i do nothing and take part in nothing :D
I'm not sure with other INTJs but I personally don't express my emotions because it would put me in a vulnerable situation. I had a bad experience in childhood where someone took mental notes on my emotional expressions towards certain things and used it to guilt trip or manipulate me. There was also a time when I was younger where my mother would force me to open up so she could "help" with my problem, but once I do, I tend be such a mess since all the emotions are just pouring out, it also doesn't help that my mother would then trample on my emotions making me feel bad for ever feeling those things in the first place.
Which is why fast forward to today in my early 20s, I tend to keep multiple layers of doors that are guarding my emotions and feelings. I'll definitely express happiness and joy, but the more vulnerable emotions like anger and sadness, I keep them to myself. I only ever am open to expressing them to someone once I trust them enough, that they're a good humam being who won't take advantage of me.
Infp- I’m wayy too overwhelmed to the point that I don’t know exactly how I perceive things. No one understands and it’s so difficult. It’s to the point where I imagine my dream life where I don’t suffer-
When we're overwhelmed we all feel that way. We only feel alone but we all experience it :) but our experiences are also uniquely ours. I'd suggest get in touch with your emotions and listen to them. They're perfectly natural just giving you signals to guide you to safety. Best of luck! - INFJ
im an infp, when that happens i usually start feeling depressed.
I found writing to be a REALLY good avvenue for me to explore and express my feelings. After my brother passed away, I just full swing went into poetry, and while some of it may be a bit dark, it helped to get it on paper.
I did take a break from writing for a little bit due to some severe personal problems, but I have recently gotten back into it, and it honestly still helps. I am able to work through my emotions better.
I am still learning how to handle my emotions, hahahahaha, but I think I am getting better at it the more I recognize triggers and listen to myself.
the vomiting thing 😭
I'm an INFJ and I ALWAYS think sharing feelings is so important for the comfort of everyone else (ironic now that I learned it can make people LESS comfortable 😭 lmao what have I been doing)
I just think that if I share my most embarrassing or shameful feeling, I'm going to make people feel better about theirs and maybe they are going to feel safe to share which is going to make us ALL feel okay because we're just humans after all.
like it doesn't even matter if they share it or not. All I want is that just in case someone is feeling bad about how they're feeling, they'll feel okay about it.
OMG you took the words right out of my mouth!
is not this belittling yourself for others?
infj here too, yes, sadly, the world is full of selfish people, and they have a lot of growing up to do. This is why working on finding good friends is a good thing to do, but even then, not everyone is like us, sometimes they feel like your emotions are adding to their own, much like someone asking you to do some in town shopping when you already have a busy day planned.
As an INTP I can confirm that I barely perceive my emotions. The only emotional states I find myself in are normal and mildly happy.
Mildly happy is my mood all the time, with bursts of extreme happiness every now and then when I ”get” something complicated and fully understand it or if I’m creative or solve a problem. Also other people’s happiness makes me happy. So I’m on the happiness spectrum pretty much all the time.
I have only three moods: Anxious, Bored, Passionate(rarely), I mostly prefer being bored tbh, during bored mostly there's just the constant trying to find something interesting to do/experiment, which could just be my ADHD, idk, ~INTP
That is just being emotionally illiterate. I'm INFJ and spent most of my life that way, with vague negative emotions boiling under the surface. Get in touch with them and you'll feel more and will be more regulated. Just signals to lead you to safety. But they become numb and erratic if you don't use them.
As an INTP MBTI and INFJ Grant I feel like an anomaly and am often in the depths of despair thanks to being a prisoner of sorts
Emotions what are those
- INTP with depression making me an apathy
hey frank! i have some ideas for future videos:
16 personalities in their wedding
16 personalities interacting with their extroverted type for example, INTJ interacting with ENTJ
16 personalities interacting with their ideal type, for example, ISTP interacting with ESTJ or ENTJ
16 personalities as superheroes and super villains, like the hero is one type and the villain is its opposite type. for example ESTP is the villain so INFJ would be the hero
16 personalities watching anime
16 personalities playing minecraft
16 personalities interacting with each other on discord
16 personalities as spies
idk how good or bad these are, but they sound like they'll be fun to watch
man's imagination is bigger than distance from earth to jupiter
@@hellasmol farther than Malaysia to Antartica
He has some of those, or parts of them, up. He has the 16 personalities as brides and as villains. He also has the types interacting with their opposite just in regular settings, as well as the introverted and extroverted equivalents interacting. I like the idea of the personalities as spies; surely some would crash and burn.
Not bothered about Minecraft or Discord. Yes to the rest.
They would be a laugh-riot! Especially if there were groovy costumes.
As an ISTP, I don't understand my emotions. When my grandfather died, my mom was crying but I was getting aggravated by her crying. Yes, I was sad over him dying, but I didn't know how to control it. I try my best to avoid anyone getting emotional because it's so awkward for me
I'm ISTP and similar thing happened to me except I was laughing at my mom crying, I didn't want to because I felt upset about what happened but I just couldn't stop laughing and I still worry that I'll do it again
I wonder if this is less an ISTP thing and more a male ISTP thing. Boys already are conditioned to suppress their emotions, so adding inferior Fe to that isn't helping. Whereas I as a female ISTP never really had to. I think women understand emotions better than men on average because we have spent more time talking about them with others. Like I understand emotions just fine. I just prioritize logical thinking and reason ahead most of the time.
Intp here same thing happened to me
I'm an ISTP and when my father died I didn't cry but I wailed when my uncle did. I don't understand it either.
@@b.1162i think that both an ISTP male and female would feel emotion similarly(like for every type) it's just that thinking female types are much rarer than female feeling types
That INFP struggle with getting "stuck" in emotions and normal interventions like "hey buddy let's talk this out!" not working is frustrating because I always wanna help. I wonder if there could be a video in "What do the 16 personalities need the most in a friend?"
That's an excellent idea for a new video because I don't think it (that video) exists yet.
INFJ with INFP friends and i figured out how to get them to talk. Can't push. More sharing similar experiences and subsequent feelings (they get that anyways so don't expect it ;) and leading by example.
I don't know how much this could help since I don't represent all infps but here's how it works when I get stuck on emotions :
Like you said, if I'm not talking about my feelings, then I definitely don't need or want to. I got a good grasp on how my emotions work. When I'm not okay, I know it's just a phase and it will go away eventually ; it doesn't even make me panic anymore, I just wait for it to go away, fall alone in my little spirals of thoughts and feelings until I'm suddenly out of it. I guess nothing can be done, but if I'm seeing friends I do like it when they distract me with normal everyday discussions and jokes. I also feel very grateful for any kind of "I'm there if you need me" line, despite the fact that I'd actually rather deal with it alone. Just having the knowledge that I have support is enough :)
Sometimes, the person needs to recognize they need help and want help before you can really help them. INFPs do get pretty stuck in their emotions to the point where they believe nobody else will understand or can help.
But I can personally attest, we CAN reach out for help. And usually after the first time we ask for help, it becomes a bit easier to keep asking. I was very lucky to have a good friend who heard my cry for help and he literally talked with me through what I was experiencing for a good while and then after our talk, promised to check in from time to time (and he actually did). Because of that one incident, I find it easier to seek help, and it is actually easier to talk about my emotions and recognize when I am in danger of becoming stuck.
I wouldn't know the first thing about giving advice on how to get your friend to talk, but I can say that if can truly promise to be there for them if they need it and actually be able to follow up with that promise, it can really make an INFP feel loved and cared about and like they aren't alone.
Boston Terrier INFP speaking here. The best way you can help is to let us be for a day or two but if we seem stuck for too long, you can try what E MP does.
As an INTJ psychiatrist, I am always aware of other people’s feelings but the majority of the time I just don’t care. The most important thing is what you do with with your feelings; one needs to decide how their feelings motivate them to behave in specific ways and if they want to change those behaviors.
oh same lmao
Same! Being an INTJ psychiatrist is pretty cool... A favorite of mine as well
Why does it matter what you do if your feelings don't matter. If you didn't have any feelings everything would be completely neutral. Hell and heaven would be the exact same thing if you didn't have feelings. Like if feelings didn't matter it wouldn't make any difference if life was completely random. Like if you imagine how important it is for the events in life to happen a certain way, on some level feelings and states of mind have to be involved for you to even place value on anything ever happening any type of way. I can't tell you how many people think they don't care about feelings and then they go drink, or get high... to feel ok.
@@mulkytool Nobody said feelings don't matter... of course they matter as internal drivers of people and in the way they color our experience of life. But in an external, objective sense, our actions matter more and are what we should be primarily judged by. As an INFP, I'd much rather have people judge my actions than my feelings. It's okay to feel whatever we feel, but it's not always okay (or ideal) to do whatever we feel like doing.
That's what you want from a psychiatrist when you share your emotions: "don't care".
xD
Being an INFJ, I always love to talk people through their feelings. I feel privileged when they come to me to talk about their emotions especially if it's one on one but when it comes to my own feelings, I feel so lost. It's like I don't even have feelings to begin with, though I'm very well aware that it's so not true. Or maybe it is because INFJs are so focused on others' feelings that they tend to avoid elephant in the room i.e their own feelings. But how come someone who can feel deeply for others, doesn't even know a thing about how to put their own emotions into words? What kind of cruel joke is this that I can understand people even better than they do themselves but know nothing about my ownself? I mean I know when I'm happy or sad but sometimes I can't pinpoint where these emotions are coming from. Sometimes I will just brush them away and other times I will spend days processing them till the point that my head hurts. Sometimes I question myself and live in fear that I will never know what I need from life and other times I'm so sure of it but question my capability to actually get it for myself.
Omg, I know exactly how you feel. I was just diagnosed with depression symptoms as an INFJ and I knew something was off for a couple weeks but couldn’t put it into words. Once it was defined, it felt like I had been bottling up my emotions and they all came out at once. I still can’t understand this or many of my emotions currently. 🤷♀️ It’s also been harder recently to help others with their emotions, but I still feel their emotions so I don’t know the difference between their emotions and mine. I also make myself feel things that I don’t have to feel by making up scenarios in my head. Aaaaa!
Personally, I feel like Ni messes me up. Every emotion is filtered through a system of abstract information that enters through the subconscious and forms spider webs of concepts, so you can't always know where its from. Writing about it helps to figure that out.
And just like Fi users are rigid with their emotions, Ni users have an undying belief in their Ni perceptions.
So while dom Fe users have simpler emotions than Fi users, if you have Ni first it is a bit more complicated.
Thank you for writing this comment! I just posted a similar one, and then came across yours. I feel the same way. If someone describes their emotions to me, I take on those emotions, and can easily identify them, but if someone asks me how I feel about something I can’t answer. I do understand my very basic emotions, though much like you I don’t know why I feel like that, and it’s very frustrating. I have had a strong emotion lately that I don’t understand, and it seems I have spent almost all of my time analyzing it. I still don’t understand and this has been going on for a few months now. It does seem unfair, and I wish I could figure out why I’m like this. I just want you to know that you’re not alone, and I hope everyone dealing with this can find clarity in their feelings.
@@mhw4955 I can totally relate. I have been like this since last year. I won't say I'm depressed depressed but kind of somewhere along the lines. For the lack of better word, I feel numb. And though I have some inkling about the reasons behind my unstable emotions and desperately want to make a change, I just don't know how. Nothing is working.I feel like my life is not in my control and everything takes so much effort on my part. This has surely affected my confidence and social skills because currently I feel like I can't even help myself let alone others. I find it easier to get lost in my own head and think about impossible scenarios, though I know it's not healthy. But then again, when you feel like whole world is running at 200km/h and you are on zero, and fear of being left behind clogs your air passage, you turn to something familiar yet dangerous.
@@sabikakhaliq It’s really crazy how we’re feeling the same things. I’ve basically sunk myself into my hobbies, but I have been trying to revisit other things that made me happy a while ago.
Yep, as an INFP, that's why I got to “hibernate” for an entire day, minimum, upto weeks or months.
To hibernate is to cut myself from social connections and activities, and cherish the me-time. To explore what I could “hypothetically” be doing to get through my feelings.
Feelings that you can't just pass around. Because you got your wall up to your sides and your back, that you can only either move or not move your soles.
You gotta contemplate about drawing, writing, acting out or just generally expressing your feelings. But you won't necessarily act on them. Rather, you just try and find books to read or films to watch that could help you deeply understand what you're feeling. Which may or may not include thinking about the causes of those extreme feelings.
And then, when I come out of my nest and re-socialize, will just summarize to people what just happened in the entirety of the period I'm gone, to conclude the extensive emotional journey.
My small but deeply cherished circle of friends have been used to this cycle. They don't go wild looking for me anymore as much compared to when they first “adopted” me.
---
Edit: I want to equally express my feedback to this vid from observing my INFJ, INTP and ENFP friends, but at this point, Ne kicked in so wildly. I wrote too much and got invested with my feelings that I got too lazy about writing them anymore. Typing those few paragraphs above have drained my energy more than I expected it to be. 🥴😂
Yuuup, I´ve been saying for ages I want to hibernate like a bear, for the whole winter :) You´ve described it perfectly. Kudos!
@@lenula1 Thank you! It took a lot of organizing and compressing those messy thoughts I just mentioned.
I used to hibernate for months before. Longest period was about an on-and-off 3 years (because still needed to interact at school for reasons). And because of school and constant need to regroup for class activities, I got to learn how to effectively tackle my feelings bit-by-bit so I can reduce the processing within a full-long day. Sundays became my default hibernation days and I successfully convinced people to not contact me unless emergencies.
I hope you regularly do get your cherished winter-long hibernation period though. Sounds like you have a lot of things to take in each time. Are you the type to save things for later then unpack them all at once? Seems kinda convenient to do everything at once rather than a frequent repeating cycle.
this ia so relatable!! I'm actually having trouble getting out of it tbh. I tried a few times to get back, just by giving small steps but my small circle of friends just left me alone almost since the beginning and I don't see they have any interest in reconnecting with me again so I don't even know if it's worth it at this point.
Thank's for sharing and explanation! INFP also. Hibernation is excelent!!! 👍🏻word for this kind of withdrawing, I'm doing it regularry, understand completely what you mean. I say "I'm in the hole" but it's a kind place 😉"
Can you do this with Ti and Te aswell? I’d love to understand more about cognitive functions ☺️
Actually can you do it with all the cognitive functions lollll
I second that
He's already made many videos on cognitive functions before
@@samahalz uP
enfj here (chronic depression and other mental illness). Its kinda tricky personality-wise grappling between “what is my emotions” and “what is the emotions i read on others” when everything (especially my own) emotion-wise is so dulled. Honestly y depression has gotten me more introverted reads on some certain personality tests, although I know im still an extrovert. Anyhow, great vid!
It's really hard to separate it from yourself when you've had it so long. i have chronic depression as well (dysthemia) and I'm sure it's always effected my results. I get the same thing every time, though. Guess I should believe it :P
I know an INTJ, and it's definitely true. My first interactions with him gave me the vibe that he doesn't seem emotional, but as time passed, I definitely saw layers of emotion under the surface, and eventually, he did share some of it, and they were a lot deeper than you would expect from someone who's always talking logic and practicality and such.
This was a really accurate video XD --INFP
That sounds like me, people just think I’m emotional or arrogant …
I’m an ENFP (bordering on I) with ADHD and sometimes I feel like I’m the most emotional human on the planet. My emotions are extremely deep and I share them with everyone all of the time. 😂
Me too , An enfp
ENTP with adhd here !!
I have never related so much in my life. I'm an enfp (e and I being close to 50/50.) And I'm going to be assessed for possible ADHD... 😅👌💕
@@Brothisisprivate ENTP/ADHD here - How are you with emotions.. I volcano them in very rare but unstopable tsunamis which i never learned how to control since it started not long ago. So scared (kinda) i am Satan/SherlockHolmes combo 99% of the time(not the best person for most out there). Dark empath even when i sleep and suddenly ... feelings. Excuse my English please!
@@ivaylotsankov7292 Dont worry i’m french ;) Hum when i was a teen i was a volcano too. Every little thing could make me BOIL. When i was happy i acted euphorically, when i was angry i was a dragon, when i was sad i was a fountain… there was NO control at all with my emotion.. When i was 16 i did something extremely smart, i deleted all my social medias (who was the best place to be uncontrollable), and spend all this lost time were i was scrolling on instagram to read, watching movies or meditate … it really helped me canalising my emotions, and gain confidence and trust in myself ! Now i think i’m more like a healthy version of Fleabag or Nadia in Russian doll haha 😭
As an INFP, I actually also try to guess how other people feel based on how I perceive myself when I am feeling a certain way. Like if I see someone staring into space on the verge of crying(exaggeration of course, it’s usually more subtle than this), I assume something tragic happened to them. I usually get it right, and so it is kind of beneficial to feel that deeply. I can’t comfort them of course because I will often begin feeling the emotion they’re feeling, so I usually provide a course of action since I’ve been through it myself, but i find it very strange when people say that INFPs don’t care about what other people are feeling or aren’t aware of them. Maybe it’s a contextual thing?
I think it might indeed be contextual. I'm INTP and have a close INFP relative. It's not that she never imagines or cares about what anyone else is feeling and has no empathy. She can be very empathetic and feel pain on other people's behalf when she's observing as a third party. She even has a lot of empathy for fictional characters.
However, when she is feeling something strongly for herself about a conflict that she's directly involved in, she can no longer empathize with anyone else and see their perspectives in the moment. She is actually shockingly selfish and callous in those situations. She's also the least self-aware person in our family (the ISFPs can be emotional and spontaneous but are also grounded in reality and self-aware). She still thinks of herself as a very caring person--even a martyr!--at times when she's actually completely disregarding everyone else's explicitly stated needs and desires and making everything about what she thinks she needs. It takes her a while to be able to get out of her own feelings and be able to compromise with people on anything big. Then if someone else or random life events hurt you, she'll be outraged and caring on your behalf again.
The other thing I notice is low situational awareness and ability to read the room. She has very good manners with strangers for the most part and is considerate in some ways but really socially blind in others that even an INTP can tell.
In stores, she's that person who will stop dead in the middle of an aisle to check her grocery list or look for something in her purse and not even notice that she's blocking people until someone says something. Then she'll get embarrassed, apologize and move because she isn't actually a jerk who doesn't care about inconveniencing other people; she just was too stuck in her head to notice her impact on other people.
She pays little attention to facial expressions and body language sometimes. If you're busy working on something, she'll walk into the room and just start talking to you. If you're playing a video on your phone and she comes into the room, she'll just start talking right over it as if she didn't notice it. If she's boring you to tears, she rarely notices that you're not even trying to pretend you're interested. I kid you not, I have had earbuds in with music playing for an entire 30-minute car ride while she was talking to me and didn't even realize that I couldn't hear a word she said.
I know that not all INFPs act exactly alike, but all the INFPs I've known have shared that lack of ability to easily read the vibe of a room and pay attention to other people's movements around them to some degree.
@@sarahr3076 yeaaahhh that's me (an INFP) though to be fair I have inattentive ADHD, which of course makes me more prone to mind wandering and being situationally unaware. I've definitely missed very "obvious" stuff going on around me and was accidentally rude. I will also say that with the previous comment, that applies to me to some degree too. I am definitely selfish. I am aggressively self-centered. Everything I do is because of myself and my feelings/values. I like to understand other people and their feelings for the sake of understanding my own, which is why I am into psychology. I am nice and generous because I want to live by my values. I've created standards for myself that I strive to reach, and if I don't I feel shitty. One example is I always bring a bunch of food to a party/get together, even if I am already late I will stop by the store and get something to bring. I do know that with my boyfriend, he says that my ability to be empathetic with him is a hit or miss. I either really get it and know what exactly to do or I am lost and don't really know how to respond.
as an INFJ, i’m extremely emotional and spurt out my emotions accidentally to literally anyone who listens, i feel so deeply but i always shift my emotions based on how everyone else is acting. if everyone’s happy, i’ll be happy too, if the mood is sadder then i’ll shift in to that mod. my emotions aren’t private to me, i need people to understand me and know me and love me. it may be unhealthy, but it’s just how i am. like i don’t feel i have any right to be angry or hate anyone because other people don’t hate said person. it’s really conflicting never knowing if it’s my authentic emotions or the emotions everybody else wants me to feel. i’m very open about my life and my trauma and it does probably make people feel awkward, but it’s because i want to create a comforting environment for others to be able to vent to me. i wear my emotions on my sleeve before i’m even aware i’m feeling that way. i mean i also have anxiety and probably depression according to my therapist, but idk
I can relate to you so much...I'm exactly the same.!!!
INFJs don't typically over-share emotions.
As an ISTP, this is so true. I know I 'feel' things,just don't know what those things are which makes it even harder to tell anyone.
My mother's an INFP and if she feels like she has to focus on something she won't see or hear anything else. Must be her Fi. People who don't know her if ever come across this side of hers they think she's faking it but it's actually completely true and even I find it unbelievable sometimes. She's like a tap flowing with her emotions and as an INFJ I'm more like a sponge absorbing emotions.
my mother is also an infp and I'm the infj daughter. you really described our relationship and her state of being to a T! also agree with Frank that we are more 'shallow' as we go through various emotions while infp are more 'narrow' and intensely stuck with their emotions
@@starrysouffle Yes, I understand her best she said so once when I asked her if she felt understood when around me because I wanted to figure a better way to interact and make progress in our relation. I used to wonder why she gave kind of mysterious vibes despite being such an open book and being confident in her own feelings and ideals. Seeing this I understood that what she shows is only the tip of the ice berg. I'm happy she confides in me, she doesn't let anyone see her emotions and doesn't let other's emotions effect the way she feels simply because it isn't her thing. I think she's quite cool.
As an INTJ, I was a bit surprised to not find our staring at the wall, wearing black, unemotionally voiced selves considered least emotional.
And it was very nice to have a deeper explanation of Fe. Though as someone who is Fi-Te, I still have trouble even grasping the concept of an inappropriate emotion. It isn't the emotion that is wrong. You feel what you feel. It is what you DO about that emotion that matters. And its here that the Te cuts in with manners and culturally appropriate moves and consideration of what is just being more important than what I personally feel, etc.
If you can just go "Oh, that's inappropriate" and stop feeling that way, then was the emotion even real and honest?
I also found the standard "Does not notice what others are feeling" line amusing, because often the truth is that I'm actually pretty good at realizing what people are feeling (can't manipulate them otherwise, as INTJs are known to do) . The thing is, I may not care. I realize this sounds cold, so I'm going to try to put it into a better context. The lynch mob is riled up and looking for someone to blame and I think the right thing to do is give sanctuary to the accused? I don't care what they feel. I don't care that they're probably going to kill me to get at someone else. I'm going to do what I believe is right, and if group think is to hate me for it, then fine. I do not care.
@Perseus Georgiadis Oh, I definitely agree that I feel things (though I was willing to accept that title of least emotional given all the bad press -- and I'm just as fine without it). And having had to basically write an algorithm for other people's possible emotions and reactions, I will agree with Ni-Te being good compensation for it.
I'd argue, perhaps, that I don't have commonsense, or at least that's what my ISTJ mother says. I think Intuitive types end up with uncommon sense by the measures of the rest of the world, and that's part of the problem, but that's a wholly different and broader discussion.
I might very well, given time and money, go buy food for the crackhead's family. I'm more likely to give to a larger charitable cause, but I have given food to people on the streets on occasion. This provides for need without feeding the addiction directly (I can't help if other people give them money and they spend it on crack, but maybe by giving food the innocent child gets some).
Yesss!!! I'm an INFP, and I think INTJs and INFPs are more similar than they seem on the surface.
I’m an ENFP and my FiTe was resonating when I read this post. This entire thread is eerily similar to my personal stance on the matter. The thing about Ne is that I’d struggle between giving the crackhead money or food, trying to work out the best solution in this situation and coming up with more choices than I need. I might leave them be, then come home, overthink, feel bad, then come back with food and find them gone, and then worry about the children - what kind of life will they have? If I had done it sooner, maybe I could’ve made a difference?
@@miahan8988 I won't say that I always feed the homeless people I come across. I've got things to do, sadly, so that I don't become one of them.
But in terms of what best to give them, if you suspect addiction, then food is best. They might try to sell the food, but it's generally not worth it, so they'll most likely eat it. If you give them money, they'll use it to feed their addiction because they're addicted. And if you're wrong about the addiction, then you'll still have given them something to eat, solving their problem.
Easiest thing is if they're near a general store (like Target) or a grocery store, or a fast food restaurant, so you can just nip in and get food. I knew a woman who was a very devoted Christian, and part of her living that aspect of her life is that she'd just keep packets of food on her in case she came across a beggar. I am not that nice, but if you find yourself feeling guilty about it, you could always just keep a couple packets of Handi-snacks or plantain crisps (for the health conscious) on you. Also makes for an emergency food supply for yourself. This, of course, supposes you have a purse, backpack, or briefcase to store things in.
Thank you for this, I have a lot of trouble with FE users, how can an emotion be wrong, you feel them and act or move on, there is not right or wrong -INFP
As an INFP I can easily say I’m very emotional but I contain it. I feel so much which makes me exhausted sometimes.
What has really helped me is sometimes taking a CBD gummy once a day.
Not everyday, because it seems to affect my thyroid a bit BUT it REALLY helps with not taking things personally and actually detaching from so much emotion.
It’s kinda glorious because for a short while you get to experience things like everyone else 😂 not as deeply.
I’ve noticed it also helps me enjoy music a lot 🥰
As an ENFP, I can totally tell you even though Fi is second on my function stack, that deep narrow hole Frank speaks of is real! My Ne is usually going: "Dude, you're hanging down there too long, let's go do something!"
I am an ISTP so i don't really understand emotions. After 5 years of knowing each other my INFP friend one day started talking about his feelings and boy... i was shocked, i didn't know what to say, i tried to approach it logically but i ended up just listening to what he had to say, it was like an explosion that lasted like an hour full of what was inside of his mind. That's the only time he has done something like that and i hope he didn't feel bad because of me not understanding him.
As an INFP, I always hate it when they say that INFPs are unaware of other people's emotions or don't care about them. It makes us sound like we're self-centered and lack empathy.
I've encountered that being in tune with your emotions actually helps you understand other people better. Not by thinking how you'd feel in their situation, but rather understanding how emotions can be different for everyone on a personal level. We can listen to their personal experience and build upon that.
Because we are different people and we do feel differently. As Fi dominants who are often misunderstood, we get it, we get you. We just feel like people don't get us. Our emotions seem to stray from the spectrum they work with and we're often disregarded for that as merely hypersensitive people who should work on themselves.
Yeah I don't get this either. I'm one of the most empathetic people I know because I can put myself in other people's shoes and understand why they feel the way they feel, and I can imagine how I would feel if I were in their situation. And even if I wouldn't feel the way they feel, I can still validate their feelings and understand that they've experienced different life events than me and come from a different background. Everyone's pain is valid, and I hate when people rank pain/suffering. Someone always has it worse than you, but it doesn't change the fact that you feel terrible and that life is really hard. Comparing to other people is unhelpful in my opinion. My best friend is an INFJ, but I'm way more empathetic than she is. By a long shot. I love her, but man she can be downright rude to people she is annoyed with in a way that I've never been able to be. And those people definitely warranted being put in their place, but I don't think I could ever stand up for myself the way she can lol. I don't want to hurt people's feelings!
I agree with you (fellow INFP). I think people also misunderstand that we need to process our emotions first so that when we open up about them, they are solid enough ideas and have substance. Personally, I feel the most volatile when I don’t understand my emotions bc then I snap at other people for trying to pry my feelings out.
And yes I get in my head too much. Yes, I need assistance on how I should act on my feelings when I get stuck like a healthy person should. But at least I try to consider different perspectives and different emotions I WOULD feel in certain situations. Then, I think about how someone else might feel the same way.
Then I wonder…. Isn’t that the meaning of empathy? Understanding how an emotion applies to oneself and when others feel that same or similar way, you actually FEEL it (depth wise) for yourself as well?
So yea… it irks me when people say that we don’t consider other people’s feelings even though… that is considered a typical strength for INFPs as well? Am
I misunderstanding that?
Food for thought. Also… preface I am human and this is a continuous perfecting process of understanding myself and also trying to understand others.
Exactly👏
I don't mean to change the flow of conversation, but I do understand that fi doms people are just as empathetic as fe. Empathy is an uncomfortably vague name that can be twisted to fit each person's reality.
For FP types, might feel more serious empathy, because they take most things to their core. FJ's understand trust and feelings logically, they are experts at twisting their own feelings for harmony. TP's are intelligent empathy users, and Fe simply helps them navigate their logic freely. TJ's seem more measurable empathy for a realistic future, but that makes me, an intj, somewhat cold and steamrolling emotions as I go.
@@sinkbacteria7749 That's interesting that you would describe yourself as cold. My husband is an INTJ and he is so warm and loving and deeply passionate. He just doesn't show that side of himself to people that he doesn't trust.... so basically just me lol. And he also doesn't let his emotions dictate his actions or interfere with his goals. Fortunately, one of his goals is to have a beautiful and healthy marriage, so steamrolling my emotions would be counter to that goal hahahaha
I’m ENFP and I find when I get very emotional, I’m in my own head a lot, think scenarios over and over again, and try to strategize and structure what I’m gonna say, how to say it. Those are the times I’ve probably ever made any kind of plan and went through with it.😂 When I’m angry with someone, I find I do better showing a solution through my actions instead of speaking with them because I hate confrontation, and because I don’t want to completely break down in gibberish in front of the person, I want to communicate clearly and calmly when I’m ready. I just wish it wasn’t as long as it usually takes for me to get a grip.😅 I also realized now as I’ve grown up, that a full day apart from the person I’m mad at, is enough time to dissipate the anger.
Haha omg yes. I usually dont face those really hurtful things friends do cause so much time goes by before im actually calm enough to express it without being a hot mess 😂 and the thinking and planning what i will say just ends up causing insomnia rather than being productive and coming to fruition...ever. i just end up distancing from friends who keep treating me unacceptably cause i justify that if ive been hurt that deeply a few times by the same person, and my trust has been damaged, they probably arent the right kind of person for me to be friends with and arent gonna change overnight just cause I said "you hurt me". 🤷♀️ If its a really healthy important relationship i will eventually say something but its one if the hardest things i can think of and i always ugly cry during.😂
I'm an ISTJ, and I find that, with Te and Fi so close together (but just barely preferring Te), I'm at war with myself a lot. I have very intense emotions and a strong need to feel them, yet I keep THINKING that I shouldn't feel that way (especially in the case of negative/harmful emotions, like anger). It's like my Te and Fi are pulling my psyche in different directions, and sometimes I feel like it's on the brink of being ripped apart
I "feel" you man
I know an ISTJ and this is one of the most fitting descriptions about my experience with said person. It feels like a constant war and I often see very emotional behaviors in stress situations which let me wonder, if said ISTJ was really an ISTJ. But learning about the functions and your post here feel like solving the riddle (slowly) more and more
Woah. I'm also an ISTJ and I must say you phrased that perfectly.
Si is a pretty chill function, as well as Fi. The need to stay calm is strong. I have Fi second and Si last, and my first function is determined to see all sides to something (Ne), so it doesn’t really react with anger, just malleable, analytical curiosity. Add 9w1 to it and you get a chill turtle. Maybe you’re also a 9?
@@miahan8988 Yes! I'm a 9w1. I think that 1 wing is all the more reason I have such a strong sense of how I SHOULD feel
I read this one debate where Introverted feelers and extroverted feelers were calling each other selfish and fake respectively. I think it doesn't matter if your own feeling is the only thing that affects you or you get overwhelmed by other people's emotion, I think what matters is that the feeling authentically affects you in that time space and how you process it. I envy INFJs on so many levels and I think we can learn so much from them. Which is also why I think INFJ and INFP friendships usually have that balance of learning from each other. We are so opposite but we are so same.
And that's why you don't see us ISFP's on the internet all that much and our reddit is dead most of the time, we're pretty focused on ourselves and don't really share our thoughts very often (I don't know about other ISFP's, but when I write a comment I'm like 'Why do I even struggle writing this, no one cares anyway' and delete everything I wrote and I kinda feel the urge to do this right now but oh well today I feel like going against myself, deal with it me)
Makes sense to me with Fi and Se. ISFP are fun though I don’t meet many of them :))
I'm an INFP and when you talked about Fi, I've never felt more understood. Everything is just so true! It's like a sign of trust when I talk to someone about my feelings, but it's always that I need to understand it first. I think about my feelings a lot and I write them down in a poetic way and I draw. When you're lucky I might tell you about it but only if I want to. It's confusing.
Totally understand - INFJ 🤗
I'm an ISFP and you're right. My Fi is extremely dominant that I feel overwhelmed by almost everything, like human relationships, socializing because I'm too stuck in my emotions processing them, constantly working on them to survive. I realized I isolate myself a lot because of it.
In a INFP & INFJ relationship. It gets interesting and intense trying to understand where we are coming from and coming out with it in the first place. But I think these opposing ways have helped both of us grow so much as individuals. I love it 😀 Thanks for the video Frank 👍👏
Hiii .. I just wanna say thank you Frank for bringing MBTI personality type to my life .. after I found my personality type it really helped me to grow as a person.. it really helped me understand myself and also understand others .. and reacting in situations.. so thank you your videos really helped me .. thank you so much ...
Ah, the INFP life. Where our reality is just too darn emotional, so we sink into the fantasy world, only to make it just as emotional.
Like, you'd think I would make my fantasies be sunshine and roses, but no, I gotta make 'em cloudy with possible hints of rainbows.
I'm an INFJ therapist, and I absolutely know I was called to help people process their feelings, which I can viscerally FEEL. I can contain my own, but it's like strumming a chord, and the harmonic vibrates when I recognize the feeling. But then I HAVE to process my own stuff to someone and never feel heard or understood. I am constantly thinking, "Am I rambling? Are they getting bored? I need to not talk so much and make sure they feel heard, I don't want to be selfish and make it all about me." But if I try to do this, especially with my E friends or family, my stuff gets pushed away and I end up doing therapy for the other person. It becomes all about them. I feel like a jerk even saying all this, but I just want to be heard out so I can understand my own feelings and be real about what it says about me as a person. It can be very lonely.
As an ISFP it is pretty difficult to share my negative emotions. When I'm really down bad I have to write it out. Though it's difficult to explain it to someone else when I'm writing I'm explaining to myself. It helps to realize what's really going on. Putting the words on paper makes it feel real and if it's not real I don't want to write it down. And if I write it anyway I'll cross it out.✌
Right, sometime you have to sit with the emotion alone until you become 'friends' with it. Until you feel more confident thst you know truly what this feeling is to you! - INFP
I tried this and it helped so much! I can't talk to people about it and with writing it down I can shred it after so nobody else finds it.
As an emotional intj I will have to let my excessive amounts of personal feelings out every once in a while, but only sometimes would do it at an inappropriate time like enfps often do. I'm very private about my feelings and yet am very aware of them and actually don't mind sharing them sometimes. And when I feel, I feel very very deeply. Goodluck to whoever would then unfortunately have to listen to me describing my feelings for the next 3 hrs
I relate to this! When I’m ready to share my feelings, I know I have them figured out and at that point I’ve felt them enough to explain them without expressing them, if that makes sense. And me choosing to share them is for the purpose of connecting with another person, not to actually feel them. But if people don’t take my word for what I’m sharing, they might not believe that I felt them as deeply as I did -a fellow emotional intj
@@aubreys1675 people can usually tell I'm I'm emotional person if and when I decide to share my feelings. I share my feelings usually to let them out or to get emotional validation from my friends so we can relate to stuff and feel stuff together
But sometimes I can describe all my feelings very well, but if ide already processed them I can sound very unemotional or unaffected when describing them
Kd Cadenza yes, I think the inconsistency in words and other things while describing my feelings isn’t a big deal for people who are open to hearing them. It’s only been an issue when someone doesn’t want to hear what I have to say, which is more about them than about how I describe them
My two closest friends are INTJ. And as a INFP, I must say that I really love INTJs emotional depth and rationality. Sometimes we talking and listening each other for hours, literally. I'm a safe space for them and they are the same for me. Precious combo (when healthy) ♥︎
As a person with both INFP and INFJ traits, I think I'm quite a lot more emotional than I'd like to be 😅
Btw, I'm in love with you and your channel 😍 You're always so funny and accurate.
Love and care from Spain 😘
As an ENTJ, I now know what I do with my feelings, and I like to keep them out of my social circle and workflow AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
I'm a 40ish ESFJ and have worked hard to master the emotional vomit. My big struggle now is my unwillingness you share my thoughts. I'm on a couple of public committees and I'm internally enraged but staying cool every.single.time it's my turn to share my thoughts on a topic. How I feel about topics often doesn't match what I think about them. Also guilty of never telling anyone what I actually think in my personal life. Working on integrating that. Great video, FJ
Hello, fellow ESFJ! I am currently trying to master the emotional vomit. My husband takes the brunt of that, but as an INTJ, he helps balance me out pretty well.
I'm not aware whether or not I share my thoughts... definitely not with people who aren't in my inner circle, but as part of me processing my emotions... I tend to share a lot of my thoughts with those in my inner circle. As long as my current conflict doesn't involve them. 🤣
I'm so glad when there is no background music and I can fully pay attention to what you say. Great content!
I almost never manage to find other ENFJs here and I think it's not because we aren't watching, but because we usually like to just read and observe everything without publicly adding our input - writing this comment now is super uncharacteristic haha. I really enjoy the more mbti nerd-ish videos about the functions and I think it's great that they are becoming more known, beyond the 16p website. Although I don't always agree with the ENFJ portrayals, I do commend you for your work and great videos! :)
I'm an ENFJ, and I LOVED how you broke this down. Yes. And I also appreciated how you tied in how Ti works in with this. I definitely feel I am very in tune with my Ti even if it is not my strongest, and that notion of "How am I ~supposed~ to feel?" is very resonating.
I also appreciate the clarification that as an Fe user, we often know what is appropriate and what is not. So, therefore, we won't just vomit emotions on people if we foresee it rubbing them the wrong way (which is part of Fe--knowing how it will affect others).
INFP here. "...emotions are their jam..." Yup, and they never stop. Having to process first...yup, it never stops. It takes way too long...yup, and it never stops. I do tend to care about others' feelings, but let's chalk that up to being an empath which also never stops. It did come in super handy when I had an ENFJ boss with a need to talk his life out. Not going to change how I feel for other people...couldn't if I wanted to and I don't anyway. Never telling you how I really feel (unless it's deemed necessary)...yup. Having to get out of it on my own...yup. Not always seeing a way out...thank God for meds and therapy. Robert...Plant. Nicely done...all of it, but especially the botanical name.
The other day was a perfect example of how I don’t process my emotions before. I mean I’m not exposing all the time I used to more until I found you but honestly if I hadn’t said what I had things wouldn’t be as good as they are becoming I needed to be honest and let this person know how I truly felt si it all worked out in the end! This can go the other way too sometimes I get an overwhelming feeling of joy or gratitude or just any powtoive emporium it really just depends! I love this video! Thank you for all the advise you always give it truly helps me tremendously!
As an INTP I feel like I am two persons when I feel/don’t feel emotions. I am much more attuned to interests/fun/belief than emotions/values, though the former probably come across as “feelings” to other people.
It's hard to come by descriptions of Fi that are not caricaturish and misleading. Here's some clarifications.
1. Fi has nothing to do with whether or not you care about other people's feelings. Many Fi types care deeply about other people's feelings and well-being. But their identity and personal choices will always primarily be driven from within, they'll always be clear on their own independent feelings about things, and they'll be choosy about who or what they're willing to be influenced by.
2. If you do get really stuck in your own feelings, then yes, sometimes, it can create a bit of tunnel vision and make you a bit oblivious to the world and people around you. This is more likely to happen with young people who are intensely focused on their Fi self-development or unhealthy people who have a lot of mess inside to work through (ideally - the worst-case scenario is not working through it but just endlessly dwelling unconstructively).
3. Getting stuck in a feeling for a long time is not inevitable. Mainly, we just want to let ourselves feel whatever we feel, fully process our feelings, and give things time to evolve naturally. This doesn't always take long.
4. There are many cases where Fi types will change emotional states more easily than Fe types. The propensity of many Fi types for acting is an obvious example of that. It's more that Fe feelings are more easily swayed by the external social environment and Fi feelings are changed more through internal calibration. But even for Fi types, if there's something in our environment that speaks to us or moves us, that can sometimes have a quick emotional impact!
5. The deep emotional awareness and processing that high Fi types do is very foundational for mental health. Many people have to be taught those skills in therapy. The same goes for having a strong sense of self, having an intrinsic (rather than extrinsic) sense of self-worth, and having healthy boundaries between ourselves and others while still being very capable of empathy and meaningful connections. Theoretically, we have the raw materials to be some of the most mentally healthy people. But it all depends on how constructively we use them.
Thank you, that was very helpful to read as a parent of two INFPs
I love how you put it together ❤️
Thank you so much for this video, Frank. I'm an INFP and my roommate is an INFJ and I've tried explaining my emotional thought process to her a few times but could never say it in a way that made her understand that just because I don't talk out my feelings like she does doesn't mean I'm silently suffering, I'm just processing it in my own way. She had multiple epiphanies watching this about me as well as the way she processes her own emotions. So much covered in so little time, and still entertaining, honestly, perfection.
as an esfp (with burnout/mild depression) i always think about what i feel and about what others think of me, but i never show my real emotions. the thing is that i feel like most of my friends wouldn't care or would be bored if i don't show my goofy and funny personality and instead talk about my deep iceberg of feelings. so yeah everything is spot on
same esfp here my worst insecurity is being told you are boring that will put me in a depression
@@sadiepattinson1393yeah :,(
"Emotionally attached to their emotions" its so true x.x thank you for saying all this!!
My sister is an INFP and I’m an INFJ. I never knew what the difference was until today. The way you described the INFP and INFJ is exactly like me and my sister! Now I understand why I so often ‘emotion vomit’ in front of my family and why my sister bottles everything up and doesn’t tell anyone. Thank you! This was so helpful!!!
Yes, I'm an INFJ too and I can see the difference so clearly thanks to my INFP friend.
I'm a mix of ISFP & INFP
I *never* *ever* express my feelings to someone who I feel isn't going to understand my feelings exactly the way I do.
If I ever decide to be vulnerable infront of someone and i don't get the desired reaction I get offended and shut myself off from that person.
In matters of love I get obsessed by guys who show a lot of interest in me even after a while they ghost me......until i find a new suitor 😂 then I've moved on completely
I (ENFP) have an ESFJ mom and an ENFJ dad and can confirm everything Frank said. My parents are more emotional than me (behavioural-wise) and my dad can be pretty hot-headed. And because they’re both judgers, they want to know about everything I do and don’t do, and everything about what others do and don’t do and should’ve done. They are also prone to criticising others even if they really care about people.
One of my favorites from you so far - such a nice explanation! If people ask me about Fi/Fe, I’ll just send them this video. Also, thanks for pointing out that INTJs aren’t emotionless evil masterminds 😄
Stuck Ni here. Great explanation, thank you
Also: Fe-Ti-connection: Sometimes when I am emotionally in a bad place for some stuff, I stop, think and tell myself: "so, you have felt bad enough. Stop it." And it works.
As an ENFP, you hit the nail right on the head and helped me actually understand what those letters meant. Being completely honest, I always thought they were some sort of element on the periodic table 😭
Lmao at first too. That's why I didn't bother learning cognitive functions. I was like nahh some other time, this seems confusing. But then I come back to Mbti always anyways and now I've managed to learn what they actually are.
This is the best explanation of Fi and Fe I have ever heard. Thank you! Can you do one on Si and Se please? - An INFP
Frank, you are a natural teacher. I can see you being a college professor. Anyway, I am an infj and I feel like I swim in a warm pond of thoughts and emotions constantly. I don't think anyone would ever understand me so, I'm constantly trying to figure out how to help myself. Enough time goes by and I have not resolved my feelings especially if I'm traumatized, it will all come flowing out. It could be an avalanche, an earthquake, unceasing lava spewing all over everything and everyone. And, the only relief I get is the fact that I finally let go of something I've been holding onto for a long long time. Immediately I feel guilty and ashamed because I'm here to serve other people. Not to worry about myself. Take care, Frank James. Sincerely, Carly💙💙💙
I totally get what you mean... Our Ni is like a fuzzy nebulous cloud of thoughts and feelings, all swirling in our head and CONSTANTLY asking ourselves big questions (about ideal self and ideal world) that probably will take more than a lifetime to answer. At times, our Ni will explode with colorful insights and bright ideas and we trust our Ni and go with our guts. At other times, the self doubt is on a whole new level of torturous hell (that's the Ni-Ti loop) and we get stuck and can't move forward. It's a love-hate relationship with our dominant Ni and at times it feels like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders. Just know that there are other INFJs (and INTJ) who experience similar things... Its assuring to know you are not alone...
@@MrTamakikunI relate to this so much..
Love that every week I watch your videos, you've got a thousand more subscribers. I'm so excited for you. You totally deserve this.
💖
This is such a great video. I love the way deep concepts were explained with simplicity. As an INFP, I definitely understand why it can be said we are highly emotional. However, a lot of INFPs are highly aware of how the people around them are feeling. Not all INFPs, of course, but a lot of us are. It's to the point that it can be emotionally draining. We're dealing with our own deep feelings while overanalyzing the feelings of those around us.
I don't think INTP is the most emotional but they often are yet they show it the less which I feel is very interesting
Yeah, everyone feels emotions its just that thinking types tend to not aknowledge it and take it into account as much as feeling types, i think this video is about display rather than intensity, so feelers are obviously more relevant
Ok so I'm an infj, my sister is an infp and I have to say this is so true, like..you understand me better than I myself 😂
Oh hey, same! My sister is an infj and I'm an infp. We definitely understand each other well since it's easier to talk to each other about stuff and we can understand the emotions behind it.
Thank you! I think INTJs get stereotyped as the cold and logical types, when in fact I do feel my emotions pretty intensely.
Great content, keep it coming!
Agreed. This stereotype is so annoying
IxTPs are way colder and emotionless than INTJs
“If an INFP gets depressed you can’t pull them out of it, they have to figure out how to get out of there on their own”.
I felt targeted now.
Never heard something so true before in my life.
I had depression for years and it just started getting better when I took the initiative myself. I was a young girl and even if my mom brought me to therapy I simply refused to say anything or do anything. I thought “why does this stranger get to do with my emotion? Get away”. In the end I was the only one able to make myself better (on the talking and thinking part of course, I still needed meds).
as INFP i can tell you, if you'll really want to fight you depression, it will not so hard to show your emotions to other people people(at least family or close friends). And yes, they definetly can help you with that, even if they will not do everything for you, by communication with them it will be much easier to find out how to bring back interest in life again)
There's all sorts of different explanations as to how the functions, including Fe and Fi, work. It's all very interesting. :)
Personally, I simply believe Fe and Fi are judging functions. They're ways to make decisions. And they're linked to _values_ rather than emotion. How emotional someone is is would be something outside of MBTI.
For example, there can be very emotional ESTJs. Someone can be emotional _and_ have a heavy preference of making logical decisions with their Te (so, with consideration mostly on what the group/society shows as making sense).
Likewise, I believe that someone can also have a strong preference for acting upon their own values (Fi), and not be a very emotional person (*stereotypically* Ti/Te).
Or even, someone can have a strong preference for acting upon the values of society (Fe), and be an emotional person who prefers to deal with their problems alone (stereotypically Fi OR Fe depending on who you ask)
Though, even the stereotypes are different from person to person, so I'll address that. Some people think that "being an emotional person who prefers to deal with their problems alone" is Fe, as they believe people with Fe prefer to display emotions according to the group, whereas people with Fi display their authentic emotions (so they pretty much deal with their emotions with other people instead of hiding them like they believe Fe users do). So, it's clear that the "emotions" attachment to the types is very subjective. Depending on the person, Fi can mean either "authenticity with your emotions, nearly 'showing them off'" or "hiding your emotions, as you prefer to just deal with them alone". Fe can mean either "being very expressive with your own emotions" or "being very expressive but it's the emotions that seem to be expected for the group/situation (so often hiding your own emotions to do that)". So, the more expressive type depends on who you ask, because people can vary a lot in their ideas on how MBTI type affects emotions. Which is why I'd rather avoid that aspect and just focus on the core of the judging functions being decision makers. That, and I _might_ be an emotional ISTJ who thinks they're INFP due to stereotypes ("ISTJs aren't supposed to feel emotions" and stuff). :)
@Bee Lol that’s funny cause I’m an infp and I resonated with some of the infj stuff more
Thank you for this! As an infp I tend to act more on values than feelings, and those two can actually conflict sometimes because I don’t place that much value on emotions as I do on doing or believing what’s right. Also, istj’s can be emotional or have emotions too. All humans can lol! I have a family member who is an istj and she definitely has feelings. I think people fail to see the emotional, loving, sensitive side of istj’s and wonderful kind, considerate, and loyal people they are.
Me being an INTJ-A female dealing with 2 INFJ men and an ISFP man is the reason I watched this lmao! I need to know what I’m dealing with and how to proceed accordingly.
No one can help me out of my depression. " You have to figure it out on your own"..but I can't help myself and thats going on for 2yrs now making no progress. It feels like I have to learn to live with it. All that just because of who I am. - INFP
I'm an ISTP with not only a lack of an acutely emotional response to anything, but also a lack of facial muscle flexibility, so, basically, I had the exact same face on my 18th birthday and on the day my cat died. It's strange having the same facial expressions for what was intended to be a smile and a frown, but it hasn't made emotional communication any more difficult for me, because, well, I'm an ISTP. It's in character for me to never smile or frown.
Totally know right, people who partially know me might be surprised seeing me well actually be normal...
I'm really careless but many think I'm the serious-type cuz I am unreactive at most times...
oh also, love this deep dive into the indiv functions! 👏 cant always find good examples online so this is helpful!
I used to think that I don't like to go to the "emotions land" because it makes me feel weak, and I really didn't have the luxury of being weak or vulnerable for legitimate reasons ( I'm not gonna overshare). It never occurred to me that this is because of some personality type, which makes a lot of sense when I look at it now. But that was in the past. But I still wonder if this is my real functions or a rule I was forced to play? Anyway, sometimes I think it doesn't matter anymore because I'm already working on my personal growth for years now, without putting any personality type or zodiac sign or whatever suggestion in my head. I saw what I can't do and where I'm not functioning very well, and worked on it ( and it's more than just emotions), still working though.
Thank you, Frank. It's always pleasure to join your classes. Keep that white board, and keep Robert hydrated, he's giving a good vibe to the room.
Feeling in the Myers brigs is'nt really only about emotions Frank. This is where you get mistyped, I'm an INFP. And, I try to suppress my emotions when I start using logic when logic disagrees with my feelings. The two has to agree with each other for a green light. This is why I usually know what I don't want than what I want.
I'm an INTP and although we are the least emotional personality type the Fi explanation was very relatable to me and I do get stuck on my feelings but that is because I'm having a major issue with my life. But still I sometimes wonder if I'm actually an INFP and I'm thinking if I should take the test again but I don't want to do it because I got attached to the INTP personaily type which just makes me wonder even more if I'm an INFP and the loop goes on and on
@@King-ms4hy nice to see another one who had the same problem. Thanks for telling me that you are a true king
I have the same problem and I think its Fi demon. If our feelings heavily influence our decisions, its most likely in a negative way
The tricky thing about the Fe and Fi is how one can masquerade as the other. An Fe user may love to help others discover their values and selves, and an Fi user (like myself, an ENFP) may deeply value making others go through all the crazy emotions to make them feel happy, and I love how you explained the feeling as mining- sometimes deep, sometimes shallow, but downward nonetheless.
This video also helped explain why my ESFP sister and I get along so well. We're both Fi-aux, so we're both fairly balanced in our Fi and Te, and we each value how the other one values.
ENFP here, emotions are so complicated lol
Sometimes I have random bursts of just feeling SOMETHING and it makes me unable to fuction for days because I'm so caught up in it (Usually triggered by series/books I really enjoy, some especially intense ones were after Banana Fish and Song of Achilles). Then other times again I'm just chilling without experiencing any specific feelings. What you said about making our decisions with our emotions but not telling anyone really made me think, but I think it's true. When I need to make decisions I often already lean into one specific direction, but kinda suppress that feeling and try to think about the best solution instead. If I can't come up with good arguments to support my decision I'll most likely drop it again, although coming up with good arguments is usually not hard...
I really loved this format of deep diving into the dichotomies, it made the info easier to understand and provided a solid foundation. I didn't feel overwhelmed by a ton of details. Thanks Professor! 🍎 I miss the premieres, but I understand that you have your reasons. Thanks for the education! 👍❤
As an INFP with possible autism (haven’t tested yet), I actually like when people explain things to me. Even in a logical way, makes me feel better. It’s probably because I like to learn. And since I like to learn, I feel about thinking, if that makes sense. I love to think logically through things all the time. And I mean love, because I feel about thinking. That’s why I really didn’t know which personality type I would have. But once I thought about it, I love to think. Which means I feel about thinking.
My ISTP friend wanted me(INFJ) to be 'direct' about my emotions as he wasn't able to get what exactly I was feeling- and I was like I'm feeling so much at a single moment that it seems impulsively validating myself through you:''') I hope he is okay now XD
Hey, I really like when you dress up and go all professor. I think it makes your content very appealing, keep it up!
I’m INFP and it’s like you’re in my head…but in a good way. No one has ever explained ME to me so well.🤯
* waves Hi to Robert * Also, bristle
Emovere is expression outwards, feeling is feeling inwards. Wish all of you guys a relaxed calming caring sunday. 🤗✨
I am and INFP and is very very difficult to face life crisis. Now I am a bit more aware I guess but like it took me four years to get over a person .-. No matter what my friends would tell me, or even what tought: "maybe for others this will be weird", nothing stopped me from digging into my emotional responses of that single day and it took me way too much time lol. What you said about depression is also true, is the processing of the emotions is what kept me going on this for so long. Personally I think that if I never worried about what people would think about me I would have done the job way faster 🤣🤣.
i have been in such turmoil over this for the past few weeks about introverted vs extraverted feeling and i convinced myself that i was an infp but i definitely have more extraverted feeling!! thank you so much for this frank, this put my mind at ease. you explain things so well also that makes so much more sense to my brain. im shocked i just found out that other people dont think to themselves whether their feelings are correct for a certain situation :O
I'd be really pleased if you compare SI AND SE too
By the way tnx🥰