What Conflict Does To The Avoidant Spouse

In 2005, the Lord revealed himself to me in my hour of need, lifting me out of the rut I dug myself so dilligently with my shovel of sin. Just as soon as I felt good enough, I threw him away again and went right back digging. He had to step away, but never gave up on me.
I know now that God allowed me to chase my sins and suffer their consequences in order that I may be uniquely equipped to connect with people in a variety of their own cycles of self destruction, to deliver His words and help lead them back to Him.
I've been working since 13 years old in many different industrial roles, but this is my true calling. And part of that has to be getting over my pride and shame in accepting donations. I have limited what I can do for God by spending all my time making money for me me me to get by, instead of using that time to spread the gospel for Him Him Him.
If you feel moved to assist me in leaving the 99 to wade thru dark dirty places in search of the 1 gone astray, please consider donating. Bibles would also help.
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[@SD-rm5ty]

Idk why this showed up in my algorithm if someone wants to communicate directly to me i have no problem with that but indirect communication i draw the line since that leaves too much room for miscommunication obviously, my partner and I have exchanged insults daily it use to make me angry and dwell but not anymore we put everything on the table and want to have healthy debates. I could not survive in a relationship with indirect communication.