The US Military's Real(ish) Zombie Apocalypse Plan
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- čas přidán 8. 06. 2024
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You know it’s realistic when there’s a extremely long pdf with space zombies
Don't talk to me! I am famous! Don't dislike my good good GOOD videos! Don't talk to me, dear qo
@@AxxLAfriku damn that was quick
@@AxxLAfriku there you go discord mod 🤗
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@@AxxLAfriku bet
SpaceForce has something to keep them sleepless at night.
Another fun fact is that Russia agreed to help USA in case of an alien invasion.
But will Congress let Chinese help US astronauts if something like the Martian happens? Find out after this commercial break.
@Wind Rose oh yea cause i remember when the US helped the USSR and vice versea
@@edwardalex9317 Now the situation have stabilised a lot
@@edwardalex9317 um you mean on a regular basis? Tgis isnt the 50s
I think everyone on the Earth would unite against the aliens since they would probably try to take over everyone, except for a few defectors that want alien shit
"Evil-Magic Zombies" sounds reasonable
"Vegetarian Zombies - From the Plants Vs Zombies Series" seems normal
"Chicken Zombies - Although it sounds ridiculous..."
And chicken zombies are the only ones that really exist
The PvZ zombies are literally after your brain. How's that vegetarian? I'm disappointed in the US military's game knowledge
@@grapeyard1778 cause they eat a crap ton of plants
@@guidedexplosiveprojectileg9943 But that's not the goal of the zombies. They are trying to get your brain. It just so happens that they have to eat your plants to do so.
@@keegany4r176 then that means they are omnivorous! they just like brains more because it taste better for them! well atleast thats my theory
The second paragraph on VZ’s is great. “Of note, where normal carnivorous zombie commonly groan the word “brains” semi-comprehensively, VZ’s can be identified by […] their tendency to semi-comprehensively groan the word “grains”.
xD
Someone had a lotta fun with that line.
Which ever branch of the US government responsible for writing LaTeX documents clearly has a sense of humour.
GRAIIN!!!
@@benyavnilovich1748 who is this grain character?
"nukes are considered likely the most effective weapon against hordes of the undead"
Unless they are radiation zombies, then its the least effective.... quite the opposite!
*Fallout tune starts playing*
Well actually that's not the case, while small nukes like the ones dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki leave behind considerable radiation large nukes like the ones the US mostly has these days are so powerful that they blow all of the radioactive material into the stratosphere where the jet stream quickly disperses it. This means that these nukes barely leave any radiation behind and while they do spread a lot of radiation during the detonation the area that gets heavily irradiated is within the explosion itself and as such also gets completely blown to dust and bathed in fire. So basically the TL;DR is that the nukes the US would actually use act mostly like really big bombs.
Make nukes with no radiation then
Radiation is worthless against regular zombies too, dummy
@@realgrassy1285 Well then it's not a nuke
Nukes are used for the explosion, radiation is just a side effect
2:00 "Zombies aren't subject to the UN Charter, Geneva Convention, or rules of engagement, placing them in the same class as RoboCop and Iraqi children......"
Always love hearing HAI take a dig.
Most of the time my retinas are in danger of detaching, but every once in a while HAI has a fuckin zinger that gets me.
lmao that got me good
So glad I didn't have water in my mouth I def would've spit all over my computer
spat out my tea lmfao
Savage
A movie about doing paperwork in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse could be really cool. Imagine trying to piece together what actually happened, bring those who facilitated or took advantage of the crisis to justice, and trying to balance the political interests of those who want to put everything back the same as it was against those who want to take this opportunity to forge a better tomorrow.
Basically, it'd be what WWZ should have been.
It'd probably end up looking like one of those sci-fi show flashback episodes. Pick up a piece of paper, and think about the person who it was about, etc.
Frank Tayell's After the Cure is a book series sort of about this.
Like Nnelg said, that's what the book version of World War Z is about.
That's the WWz book
I’m sorry, but that _chicken zombie_ thing is gonna need a whole video in and off itself. You can’t just gloss over telling us that chicken zombies are an _actual_ thing!
There are zombie snails, those are real look them up
@@jebipasadegene And zombie ants!
@@cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967 ehh that's more so of a last of us fungal virus. But yes zombie ants are real
Anyone who has ever decapitated a chicken will testify that they will continue to run around the farmyard for several minutes afterward: CHICKEN ZOMBIES ARE REAL, PEOPLE!
zombie deer! thanks to a silly little disease or something that ruins their brains
"No zombie plan will survive after contact with the zombies" - George Washington
This is the equivalent of "everyone have a plan until they get punched in the face"
i dont feel like this is a real quote.
@@Wyatt125 definitely a real quote. One of Washington's men recorded him saying it using a GoPro while Crossing the Delaware.
@@thestudentofficial5483 are you Indonesian
@@williampulley Not sure if that's entirely accurate. Washington preferred to be recorded by only the finest of devices. I doubt it was a GoPro.
I love that the Army has an FM for the zombie apocalypse. Seriously, I have seen it posted in a supply room.
what is a FM
@@rishab7746 field manual
@Suddenly bruh
⬜ SERCH ADITYA RATHORE-HE ALSO MAKES INFORMATIVE CONTENT LIKE HALF AS INTERESTING
@Suddenly Dude, you got me so excited to see the actual FM. Not cool
You know this is actually a pretty clever training tool.
I like it
it is! seems like a lot of fun
I knew there was a plan in case of a zombie apocalypse, but I never expected it to contain "Evil magic zombies" and PvZ zombies.
weaponized rabies virus, rage virus, is about the only plausible outbreak, sort of like mad cow and chronic wasting disease went around
I was very entertained when the CDC had a Zombie Guide when Zombies were at their peak in late 2000s
Its still the 2000s
I remember a local high school had flyers up encouraging blood donation under the guide that it could help 3 people during a zombie apocalypse
@@5678sothourn They meant 00s.
@@rowanmelton7643 but not the 1900's. see what a dumb argument we're having
@Suddenly loser
My favourite part is how EMZ's are especially dangerous to Athiest Platoons 😂
and _only_ atheist platoons, implying pantheist platoons are safe. What this could mean is that it's the faith that is the important element, not the actual religion itself.
@@StarshadowMelodyI mean you have enough people with different faiths in a platoon one of them is bound to be right
@@jameson1239 I'd like to think none of them are right
and none of them need to be right.
STRATCOM is Strategic Command, not communications. The military command tasked with using or countering nuclear weapons
I thought NORAD was responsible for using or countering nuclear weapons…
@@dragonraptor3435 norad watches for nukes coming into North America, stratcom lobs nukes at the other side among other things they do.
177-013 code
@@tooichan Cool. That fact is just M.A.D. ening. (Get my joke?
I'm pretty sure global strike command is tasked with operating nukes.
This is actually a genius training module. It can be extrapolated to real life scenarios, and like you said, it doesn't offend anyone.
which is why zombies were invented in the first place. Remove any sense of guilt from shooting human-esque targets.
If you have a truly well thought out zombie plan, you've also basically got a plan for what to do in case of almost any natural disaster.
Doesn't offend anyone yet. You bet some idiots are gonna be fighting for zombie rights.
Excuse me? I am a zombie and I feel offended.
If i see a zombie, i ain't reading a really long pdf
I have a weapon in my hand and not afraid to kill myself
That last sentence can be read in two very different ways.
I got bad news for you, you are currently surrounded by zombies. Hell, it may be possible, since you don't know already(indicating a lack of higher brain function), that you are already infected and are, in fact, already a zombie.
@@danielduncan6806 that's scary to think off, you weren't aware you're a zombie this whole time
@@REEEPROGRAM Now there's a story I'd like to see.
@@alexrusset8614 if there's none, we'll create one
It's an interesting idea
"After noting that zombies aren't subject to the UN Charter, Geneva Convention or Rules of Engagement - placing them in the same class as RoboCop and Iraqi children -"
OUCH!!!
Great video!
Lol
This needs to be The Top Comment
@@Jesus_Offical Quoting a funny line from the video is literally the most unoriginal comment possible.
@@MayTheSchwartzBeWithYou well it actually helps non-native speakers, as these lines are easily not catched given the speed at which Sam is speaking in these videos. I admit I missed it before I saw that comment. Also comments like that are fun as you can share your favorite jokes with other people, just like discussing a movie after you watched it with people you like. That is a common and often welcome social behaviour to most people...
@@thomashesse351 It's a waste of time, bandwidth, and energy. Unless actively engaging in language learning, what kind of moron watches a video s/he can't understand? Just adjust the playback speed instead of reading the comments section to understand the video. If you like the video, "like" it. If you have worthwhile commentary to share, THEN leave a comment. Just quoting a funny line from the video is pointless and stupid. And then insisting that quoting a funny line from the video is more valuable than actual original commentary is even more stupid.
On a slightly related note, I once did the insurance assessment of the Death Star for a semester project. Apparently, 90% of it turned out to be plagiarism, which I found somewhat difficult to believe, as I doubt there are too many of those written in a language spoken by 10 million people in total...
What?
Did you still get the A after you explained it wasn’t plagiarism and finding any is just coincidence or did they give you big fat F.
@@JakeSnake1948 Cant remember, actually. I didnt fail the subject, so I suppose it was resolved, but I dont remember how.
Another guy got 100% plagiarism though. He uploaded his in word and PDF so after the first one was scanned by the system, the second came back as a complete copy.
@@nazamroth8427 Seems like a well thought out and bullet proof system. What was your conclusion on the assessment by the way?
@@Musikur Well, lets see if I still have it lying around. I'll just google translate it because I just woke up and I'm lazy(mind you, this was a 10 page "tick these requirements" assignment, not a hundred page proper one): "The technical equipment of the facility is satisfactory. Fire has little ability to spread in it.
Following the modifications listed in point 7, the risk will be considered negligible.
Under the current conditions, we consider the risk to be small."
And point 7:
7. Risk reduction proposals:
- Further training of stormtroopers
- Complementing surface protection against fighters
- Reinforcement of reactor ventilation shafts
- Redesign the uniforms of the assault squads
- Installation of more efficient fire alarm and extinguishing systems
Honestly I'm more scared of really long PDFs then I am of the possibility of a zombie outbreak.
If I were you, I would keep that to yourself. After all, the inability to maintain focus for any amount of time is indicative of a lack of higher brain function. Meaning, it is likely you are already a zombie.
@@danielduncan6806 Is that why all the zombie wants brains
“Robocops and Iraqi children” damn
Glad to see someone else picked that up XD
"Gentlemen, at times like these, our capacity for retaliation must be, and has to be massive, to deter all forms of aggression."
It appears that Pentagon has been reached
Gentlemen, lock and load!
Any last words Mr. President?
Do not pray for easy lives gentlemen pray to be, stronger men
YOUR
PRESIDENT
NEEDS
SLUGS
I'd love to see the IRS Zombie Apocalypse plan to keep collecting taxes.
"THERE ARE ZOMBIES OUTSIDE THE WALLS!"
"No Johnathan those are IRS agents!"
@@The_Goose2 Illegal... gains...
@@The_Goose2 “WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?!”
“One are zombies, and the other are robots”
"The Chaplain Corps may provide the only viable means of combating EMZs"*
*this may be bad for atheist platoons
I lol'd
I love how apparently the US has specific religious platoons just in case.
@@nyanSynxPHOENIX Well the Chaplain Corps isn’t a platoon per se, it’s the priests, rabbis, imams, and other ministers who provide pastoral care (counseling and moral support) and lead worship services for military personnel. So there would be one or a few assigned to a specific unit.
i hope i don't run into a evil magic zombie
@@janmelantu7490 I meant that if they have atheist platoons, than that means they have theist platoons too, haha.
We should reintroduce paladins into the army
Of course they have an extended report on this, all those consultants and advisors have to pass the day somehow.
"We have no threats today, what shall we do"
"eh... idk, mabye just come up with a plan to ward of a zombie apocalypse, the usual "
Report was written up by officer cadets.
@@deepfreeze1001 so was the withdrawal!
Nice profile picture!
It’s meant as a training example. It illustrates the steps of a military Conplan, and it’s meant to be a sort of joke/guide for creating them. Hence why this is one of the VERY few public conplans
“Must be immolated”
The US government’s been playing Resi 1
“Unethical bio-research companies”. They definitely played RE.
"Zombies are not subject to the UN Human rights charter, placing them in the same category as Robocop and Iraqi children..."
Dude...Make a bricks video about it
“Evil magic zombies” so the US military confirms magic is possible
Well of course, how could they explain the Wizard Corps
@@77_handsimagine finding out that the US military has an *actual* wizard corps that does *actual* magic and shit. Like, I’m talking, like, actually throwing around fireballs and projecting lightning bolts and shit.
My squadron actually had a plan like this from the late 90's. No one took it very seriously, but we still did some training like "Evacuating civilians from zombie infested cities" etc... Just a way to add a bit of story to usually boring training.
Then we got activated for several natural disasters in rapid succession, and the "Zombie training" saved lives.
1:35 There is always a vegetarian option.
Vegetarian humans are they way to go for the vegetarian zombies
imagine having to talk about "chicken zombies" in an official goverment approved contingency plan
These are students. They were probably instructed to be thorough and consider all possibilities. What I want to see is a whole bunch is junior officers in their rooms doing research on zombies for a very important military report
3:48 I think this actually makes sense. Instead of sending out squads of infantry to fight zombies, which could potentially be turned into zombies themselves. So they send in the armor and allow them to take the fight. Only using infantry to defend points of interest.
5:26 Wow! That is a great idea. A movie about people doing paperwork after a zombie apocalypse. I would watch it 100%.
Or perhaps a TV show
The book World War Z :)
If anyone is scared of a zombie apocalypse, do not fear. Movement requires energy. Energy doesn't come from nowhere, so zombies required food and a functioning metabolism to stay alive. Zombies aren't good at staying alive, so even if zombies become real, they will never walk around for very long. Stay inside for a little while and you'll be fine. Just be a bit cautious with the amount of food you eat and tap some water so you don't have to worry about that for a week or two.
And they will rot and stiffen up post mortem
Rigor mortis isn't brought up often surprisingly. Idk if constant movement in the daytime would combat this, but surely they would be susceptible during cold nights. I find the idea of groaning zombie "statues" to be both entertaining and terrifying
Unless they are Evil Magic Zombies or Vegetarian Zombie
You know, I thought of something really strange. If humans are omnivorous, why can't Zombies be? Their digestive systems don't change, so they technically could still digest plant based foods too. Is it purely a mechanism to spread the disease or parasite?
@@nyanSynxPHOENIX We'll never know
So Wendover's Sam can make "Therefore" into a whole sentence, and Half As Interesting's can make "Meanwhile" into a whole sentence
Also it's amazing how accurately Half As Interesting's Sam can increase the delay between each word of HAI progressively through every video in such small amounts
I was trapped in a building with some friends once (long story alcohol was involved) and we passed the time with coming up with a zombie plan. And once you get into the details you realise your plan will cover most aspects of any large scale disaster (food production skill sharing law and order and so on), so I can see why this would be a really good training tool.
Normally HAI jokes get anything from a half smile to a single hah.
Operation Eh-Bomb is officially the first Hearty Chuckle in my book. Good job guys.
Imagine spending 700 billion dollars on a military budget, just to be defeated because a platoon was atheist.
"EMZ (Evil Magic Zombies) can usually be eliminated if the source of evil magic is destroyed"
Not in Reanimation Jutsu.
🌫️ SERCH ADITYA RATHORE-HE ALSO MAKES INFORMATIVE CONTENT LIKE HALF AS INTERESTING
4:38 he’s stocking me on my way to work on the bridge, lol. Love all the city of steel stock photos online
2:06 i like dark humor but goddamn
The simple listing of "Zombies cannot be deterred" reads like rules from Magic The Gathering or some other game. Hilarious that it automatically defeats step 1 of the action plan.
This document is as amazing as I always imagined it to be.
3:58 best animation ever
We all know the "EMZ" (Evil Magic Zombies) and the "VZ" (Vegitarian zombies) sections was made to just have some fun, or just to please these people
I mean man i realy feel safe now
Usually i can't sleep because the question of what we would do if zombie apocalypse start
Thank you America
Plants vs Zombies was trying to tell us something all this time
Imagine if a zombie apocalypse did happen and someone in the milatary is like. "Yes we have a plan for this. "
Ngl a movie about the aftermath of the end stages of this plan would be entertaining if it doesn't go down the "oh no they're suddenly back" route.
Especially if there's giant pits of zombies that get napalm and used as target practice
There is one. Forgot the name of it, but essentially its one involving the government finding a cure to the virus and about 75% of the infected were cured (and thus what they were known as) while the other 25% were the resistant that were locked up and further experimented on. The cured remembers everything that they did while infected, they just couldn't stop it. Goes into a lot, like the people protesting the cured coming back to society, the cured planning to fight back against the government for not trusting any of them, etc. Its a pretty good movie.
"Brick Video" please. Else, everyone will call you Sam from Wendover and say you are the same person.
he already made one lol, look on his channel
i know that. i just can't get enough of those. i will be saving up this month's pocket money to get the nebula subscription to see his brick video there.
Can’t wait to turn “the us military has a plan to stop magic zombies” into a poem for my poem class
Next Wendover video: The logistics of a war against a zombie invasion force
Did this man call the occult “occulant” can’t wait to see it in the errors vid next year lol
occultant - of or relating to the occult. syn. occultic, occulty
@@falconerd343 I found this definition, “en third-person plural present active subjunctive of occulō meaning to hide conceal”. But if that’s wrong I guess I learned something today
This is really cool! Does any other country have plans like this?
Edit: A déjà vu
You cant have watched it this fast
Wait... this comment was posted 19 mins ago but the video was uploaded 18 mins ago...
Nein!
*hides plans to invade zombie britain*
Yes, we do have one here in Brazil
If zombies attack, just run to Rio de Janeiro
The drug lords will be more prepared than the troops
Nope, it's STRATegic COMmand, the successor, I'm pretty sure, to SAC.
I gotta say, the job of the guy who made those plans must be interesting.
Its always going to be a great post-work day when both Real Life Lore and Sam put up videos. ON THE SAME DAY
2:01 After quickly noting that zombies are not subject to the UN charter, Geneva Convention or Rules Of Engagement, placing them in a similar class to robo-cop and Iraqi Children
Jesus Christ that was dark
I appreciate that you used a bridge I drive over fairly regularly.
Love how fast-paced this video is :D
2:02 damn 😔, when the jokes are painfully true about Iraqi children
I was thinking when he said "shooting in the brain", didn't they do that in Afghanastan? ;)
“Placing them in the same class as Robocop and Iraqi children.” Painfully accurate…
At 3:11 ...STRATCOM actually stands for the U.S. Strategic Command...I should know...I worked there from 1993 to 1997 at their headquarters in Offutt AFB Nebraska (Next to Omaha)...
Came here after watching a Vsauce video about chairs. Some say that it was only a warm-up for this HAI video.
I like the way they made a plan to fight a futue zombie apocalypse but not to fight a future pandemic.
Iraqi Children. Well, missiles fired.
EMZ zombies would be a wild ride. First zombies and second magic. It would be a huge wtf moment for society as a whole
Man the plan of action, the whole organization/management part and how to further improvise with the unknowns was fascinating! What is that called? I wanna learn that. It's like business management but for more war related things. I guess it could be applied to anything governance related, like a huge coronavirus outbreak. Maybe even in schools or cities or any other large social structure/organization facing credible threats.
I hope that the war against zombies will end better than all of the wars that the US has conducted after WW2
tbf, the US has barely half assed all wars after ww2. When the objective is to literally kill em all regardless of some ROE or convention, it's a turkey shoot.
When the military was better prepared for a fictitious zombie threat than a real world viral threat...
Well I mean, a normal viral threat is supposed to be the thing that the Pandemic Unit at the CDC takes care of, not the military, but unfortunately Trump disbanded the team because it was "spending too much money treating Africans" about a year before COVID. We've had Pandemic Response Teams at the CDC for exactly this situation for a long time, and they were disbanded the year before the pandemic to save money.
@@jordanledoux197
The government have way too much power. But then again. The people get what they want and they wanted an orange buffon for some reason.
I love how creative this is, I want to steal it for a novel
1. I absolutely LOST IT at "Evil Magic Zombies (EMZ)".
2. I had to check the date on the video to be sure it wasn't posted on April Fools.
Awesome video! This is interesting!!
You can't have watched it this fast
@@jobvantuijl they didn’t say they did
I find it only half as interesting
@@Inspirement really? I thought it was at least three quarters.
I can't imagine this plan ever coming into use.
But you never know, I suppose.
*4:40** That’s the $700,000,000,000 that we know about. That is just the on the books budget. That doesn’t include the “dark” budget for highly classified projects.*
For EMZ, any cleric above 5th level will be able to eradicate hordes of weaker zombies. More experienced clerics may be required for stronger zombies.
Due to unforeseen budget cuts, the entire US medical Corp has been replaced by a life cleric with good berry. The difference is negligible
“All IHHs who fall behind must be left behind”
Guess they thought the same thing about Afghanistan!
1:40 excuse me?
"Occulent experimentation"
"MOPP 4 Gear". Guess we'll be hearing about this in the Every Mistake We've Ever Made V video...
Imagine being paid to write this military document
Now I want to see a comedy following the agency that has to do all the paperwork following a zombie apocalypse...
SCP Foundation? That would be [DATA EXPUNGED]!
0:10 And no, it’s not the dancing ones from the Michael Jackson music video for “Thriller.” *Its the real thing.*
Decades ago, I read the Zombie survival Manual (not the exact title).It was a nice survival guide for the post Berlin Wall prep rapper TV era. I like IHHH.
Imagine the feeling of the person or team actually writing this document. I’d be laughing so hard everyday lmao
"Ground troops can't repel zombies".
What, why? Did you just decide that's a game rule or something? Zombies can't do crap against any of the army's vehicles, and all infantry travels in vehicles these days. Like just clean the streets with armoured vehicles, a single armoured unit could clean out an entire city, then soldiers would need to do the hard part and clean the buildings. Planes and boats are completely overkill, no need to destroy entire cities just to defeat an enemy that has no weapons, no speed, no intelligence and no real way to fight back against a modern army.
I've always pictured mine clearance flail vehicles just going to town on a crowd of zombies.
The likely answer is the fact that there's a massive risk in deploying ground troops. Any boots on the ground soldier who is in contact with zombies risks the threat of becoming zombies themselves. So it's less risky and more efficient to use tactics that minimize such a possibility.
@@aquamarinerose5405 Good thing all infantry is mechanized or motorized these days. And as I said, a single tank or APC unit will clear an entire city worth of zombies. Even the crappy Humvees with a .50 cal are more than enough to clear the streets and countryside. Once that's done, you clear the buildings. Indoor fighting is the only dangerous part and even then, you could just smoke them out with tear gas, white phosphorus, mustard gas, whatever you want and let armored vehicles shoot what comes out. We are talking about an enemy that's literally no smart enough to use tools, thinking they stand a chance is foolish.
thanks for the world building ideas for my john roberts vs the zombified america fan fiction
This is the best hai in a while
1:10 How did you manage to pronounce 'occult' as "occulent?" I'll forgive the mistake though, because the "eh-bomb" Canadian joke was sick.
The real question is which religion we will choose if the EMZ comes
I can think of at least 3 reasons why the US military would pick Christianity, and zero for any other religion, so uhh...
_"Debatable."_
i think norse religion will compete i mean imagine the motivated VIKINGS!! ... uh i mean soliders fighting the zombie horde and the elders and probably the immigrants
The big heads in the sky
Ok, so I've seen like 15 videos that mentioned this, but this is the first to actually go into the details of the plan. This pleases me
This video was great 👍
I honestly thought the zombie names were a joke by Sam lol
RIP auntie Gina :(
Great video.
I like the EMZ are really very good at seeing, occulent, delightful! the E stands for Eyeball.
6:00 there are jokes in this video?
The one about Iraqi children was pretty spot on
This is why I love the military
I had to check multiple times to see if this was published on April 1st
3:57
What a supreme animation